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Innocent Rain	By : saxonjesus Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 3947 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 24
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Chapter 25�One Step Closer

December 1, 2013�Allen�s Ark

It had been all he could do to
keep Lavi from noticing the wilting Lotus Flower. Never before had he lost so
much from just one tiny injury. He thanked the invisible deity known to most as
�God� that Lavi had been too preoccupied with his own problems the previous
night to see it. But Yuu had. The second they�d walked into his room. He had
known from the beginning, perhaps from the time that Mugen first appeared to
him, that he was going to die in this war. He hadn�t known that he wouldn�t
want to.

Another petal, the second half of
the fifth, lay wilted on the bottom of the hourglass, reminding Yuu just how
little life he had left. He had three and a half petals left now. Only three and a half. Icy dread froze his system with more
intensity than anything ever had. From such a small injury, he�d lost a full
petal�s value. He didn�t want to die, didn�t want to leave Lavi. Because
somehow that idiot rabbit had become the most important person to him, the
reason for his existence, and he had absolutely no illusions about his position
in Lavi�s heart. It was obvious from the way the rabbit looked at him, gently
patted his arm whenever he got twitchy, shuffled just slightly away whenever he
thought of bad things, took care of him when he was
screaming from the nightmares that still plagued his dreams.

If he died, Lavi would, too, and
corny as it sounded, the mere thought of Lavi six feet under made him want to
go mope in a corner and grow mushrooms. His lips twitched as he resisted the
urge to chuckle. He�d heard that phrase from the Infernal Girl and had somehow
grown quite fond of it.

He took out a box he�d gotten
from the Director himself and stuffed the hourglass unceremoniously into it. He
closed it off with a feeling of triumph as he gazed around the room to see if
he missed anything. His bed was stripped, the lamp on his desk (taken from
Lavi�s room) was packed, and his Lotus was put away. All his earthly
possessions (he included Lavi�s lamp in this list) were in his hands, and Lavi
had just moved his clothes. Sighing, he looked nostalgically around the room
before slamming the door behind him. Something orange caught his eye. Looking
over, he saw Lavi walking into his own room. Curious, Yuu set the boxes on the
ground and followed the redhead in.

�You are not taking that,� he
said firmly as he watched Lavi roll up his ridiculous burnt-orange shag rug.

�Yes, I am,� Lavi said, flashing
him a toothy smile. �Oh, shit, I brought a box for the lamp in your room, but
you said you were packing that, didn�t you?� He added, changing the subject.

�Che,�Yuu
said, scoffing. �Baka Usagi.�

�You�re mean,
Yuu-chan,� Lavi pouted, grabbing the as yet unfolded box and walking out of the
room, presumably to return it.

Turning to the rug, Yuu quickly
finished rolling it, opened the window, and dumped it out of the room without
ceremony. Dusting his hands off with a satisfied smile, he returned to carrying
his boxes to the room they sometimes used in the Ark. They had decided to stop
going back and forth between their two rooms and the one on Moyashi's
Ark. It was an unnecessary hassle, and it created confusion when others were
looking for them. Which was disturbingly often.

Throwing his bed sheets in the
laundry hamper that Lavi insisted they use, he proceeded to unpack the lamp and
place it on what would be their shared desk. Yuu would never use it anyway.

�Yuuuu!� Lavi called, stepping in and looking distressed. �Did you bring
the rug with you?�

�No,� Yuu said, �I threw it out
your window.�

Lavi looked horrified. �Don�t
joke like that, Yuu.�

Yuu sighed. �I threw it out, Baka
Usagi; it was hideous, and it had bloodstains.�

Lavi�s lower lip shook a little
bit as if he was about to cry. Yuu dismissed it�the other man was obviously
faking it. His face was slightly amusing, though.

�But� but� but� I love that rug!�

�And I hate it. It�s too late
anyway. If you want it, go to the base of the mountain and see if it�s there. I
refuse to let it in this room, though.�

�You�re mean, Yuu.�

�Yes, I know. Your
point?�

Lavi pouted and left the room. He
didn�t return for several hours, and when he did�looking utterly defeated�Yuu
had already unpacked his Lotus Flower and stuck it at the back of his dresser drawer.
He�d long ago forbidden Lavi from going through his laundry, so he assumed it
would be the best place to hide it.

�Ne, Yuu, where�s your
Lotus flower?� Lavi asked, still sounding miserable.

�I put it away. It�s depressing
when you�ve only got four petals left.� He had decided two weeks ago, when he'd
been talking to Lavi and Lenalee, that he would lie about how much he had lost.
Yuu knew he couldn�t deny to Lavi that he�d lost some of his life force, but
the redhead didn�t need to know the exact quantity either. He wouldn�t normally
have lied to Lavi�he found the idea despicable�but he just couldn�t live knowing that the other man was worried about him
dying. It would change their relationship completely, make it more desperate
than it already was, and Yuu absolutely did not want that.

�Yeah, I've been meaning to talk
to you about that. How exactly did you get down to four petals?� Lavi asked,
sounding slightly worried.

�Head injury lost me the second
half of the petal. I�ll be fine, though. I won�t activate Mugen any higher than
its fourth illusion,� Yuu said, his voice coming out slightly gruff. He was
careful to look Lavi straight in the eye. Lavi was an expert at picking out
lies, but Yuu knew he could do this convincingly. Lavi was under the assumption
he would never lie, and while that was true in most cases, it most definitely
wasn�t in this one.

Lavi nodded contemplatively.
�Yuu, don�t ever go higher than that. If you use up your life force, then
I�ll��

Yuu didn�t want to hear this. �I
know,� he said, probably a lot rougher and louder than he�d meant.

�I just� I love you�I don�t want
you to die,� Lavi said in a pitiful voice, hanging his head slightly. Yuu
sighed and walked over to the redheaded man, calmly placing a hand on the back of
his head and pulling it down onto his shoulder.

�I�m not going to die, rabbit.
I�d tell you if I thought I was.� That was a lie, naturally, because he wasn�t
telling Lavi now.

---

Lenalee walked into the room with
a slight feeling of trepidation. She knew that both Kanda-kun and Lavi had
moved into the Ark completely, but she was afraid she�d find them� putting
things in places. They weren�t, though, and she sighed in relief.

She found them in a little
whispered argument about reading something and Lavi not wanting to.

�Er,
Kanda-kun, Lavi, what are you talking about?�

�Lavi refuses to read,� Kanda-kun
said as if that explained everything. If Lenalee were privy to more
information, perhaps it would.

�I don�t� want to read it,� Lavi
insisted quietly.

�Well, why don�t you guys come
eat lunch with me and Allen, then? You can read later, okay?� Lenalee
suggested.

�No, I�m still mad at Yuu. I
don�t want to eat with a bastard like him,� Lavi said, turning his face
childishly away from Kanda-kun�s.

Kanda-kun scowled. �Bastard?�

�Yeah, you threw my rug out of
the window!� Lavi yelled, raising his voice. Kanda-kun looked stricken.

�Now, guys, this really isn�t the
time to�� Lenalee said, bringing her hands up placatingly.

�Of course I threw it out the
window, it was ugly�and bloodstained!� Kanda-kun yelled back.

�You know how much I love it,
though!� Lavi screamed, upping his volume again.

�It was a hideous orange, worse
than your hair!� Kanda-kun screamed, matching Lavi�s dynamic.

�You hate my hair?�

�Yes!�

�Well, I hate black!� Lavi
shouted unconvincingly.

�No, you don�t!�

Lavi made a disgruntled noise. �You bastard!� He yelled, slapping Kanda-kun. Lenalee
gasped. Why were they fighting over something so stupid?

�Oh, it�s on, rabbit,� Kanda-kun
growled, leaping onto Lavi in a predatory manner, pushing him off the bed and
onto the hard ground. Lavi grunted in pain as Kanda-kun tried to wrestle him
into submission.

�Guys!� Lenalee shouted, activating her
Innocence in case things went much farther. Lavi pulled himself free and ran
for the door, Kanda-kun streaking after him, activating his own Innocence and
drawing the blade close enough to her face to make her squeak.

She heard a scream from outside
and then the invocation of Lavi�s fire seal. Running outside into the Exorcists�
alleyway, she noticed she�d already lost sight of the two warring men. Gazing
at the plaza, she saw a bright fire erupt and then disappear. She ran quickly
over to find the soldiers and other Exorcists staring in awe as the two threw
attacks back and forth with such deadly accuracy that the other barely managed
to dodge.

�Kanda-kun! Lavi!�
She hollered, cupping her hands around her mouth for more volume. �Stop!�

A hand came up on her shoulder,
startling her. She whipped her head around too quickly to avoid a small amount
of whiplash in time to see Amanda there, looking solemn and shaking her head.

�They�re not fighting,� she said,
her face breaking into a smile. �They�re just playin�
with each other. Let �em, it�s been a while since
their last mock-fight.�

Lenalee was confused. �But
they�ve never drawn weapons at each other before!� She insisted.

�That may be,� Amanda said, �but
they�re not serious. Look, Lavi�s smiling.�

�Lavi always smiles, especially
when he doesn�t mean it,� Lenalee said. She�d learned that during the three
months that Lavi didn�t remember. So many times she had seen his empty smile
and nearly burst into tears.

�But look�Yuu-pyon
is smilin�, too,� Amanda chirped. Somehow, she was
right.

�Kanda-kun rarely smiles, not
like that,� Lenalee said, now in complete awe. In those three months, she�d
thought he�d lost his smile�even the bitter ones�completely. She was glad to
see it back again. It seemed to be much more common now, though, and she had
hopes that perhaps Kanda-kun was finally starting to heal.

She watched as the two collapsed
to the ground, laughing. That had been a shock at first, seeing Kanda-kun laugh
without any restraints. She�d never seen it before a few weeks ago, and it had
become so natural and ordinary now that Lenalee couldn�t help but feel that
things were looking up for her favorite Japanese man. Not that she knew any
others.

They proceeded to stare at each
other for a concerning amount of time. And then Lavi said, �Yuu, your smile is
sexy.�

�Thank� you?� Kanda-kun replied
uncertainly.

�No. Yuu, your smile is really
sexy. Really, really sexy,� Lavi reiterated.
Kanda-kun�s eyes widened for some reason, and he smiled.

�Ah. Well, I feel like taking a
nap. Would you� ah, fuck it. Che.
Come on, Lavi.�

Lavi nodded, grabbing Kanda-kun�s
hand�which the latter tried to rip away�as he followed him back to their room.
Amanda giggled beside Lenalee.

�What?� She asked.

�Oh,
nothing. Nothing at
all,� Amanda said mysteriously. �Shall we get lunch?� She asked. Lenalee nodded
and followed the American girl to the cafeteria.

---

Yuu glared at the stupid rabbit who was looking guiltily over at his x-rays.

�Er,
there seems to be a transverse fracture here, Mr. Kanda,� the doctor said,
examining the x-rays with a contemplative expression on his face. He pushed his
glasses up the bridge of his nose. �You also have signs of old spiral fractures
in this arm. Mr. Lavi, may I ask you to step outside for a moment?�

Lavi glanced over curiously at
Yuu, who nodded. If the doctor had something stupid to ask, he�d ask it in
private. Lavi stepped uneasily out of the room. Yuu knew the other man could
still hear, having the ears of a Bookman.

�Mr. Kanda, you and Mr. Lavi are
together, am I correct?�

Yuu didn�t like where this was going.
Blankly, he nodded.

�How long have the two of you
been together?� The doctor asked, his tone suspicious.

How long had it been? Could he
count the summer? But that didn�t make sense, as they hadn�t really, truly been
together since that night when Yuu had gotten back from�but he wasn�t going to
tell the doctor anyway, so why did it matter?

�That isn�t your business,� he
growled, glaring at the man, who flinched back, gulping.

�I�m just wondering, as you said
you were a fast healer. If you and Mr. Lavi have been together for more than a
month or two, then these injuries would probably��

�What idiotic suggestion are you
trying to make?� Yuu asked nastily, his hand twitching to his left hip, where
Mugen sat, deactivated and waiting Yuu�s instructions.

�Mr. Kanda, is Mr. Lavi abusing
you?� The doctor asked. Yuu couldn�t help it, he laughed.

�You�re an idiot!� He yelled,
sobering. �I�m an Exorcist, these sort of injuries��

��Do not
come from the battlefield. Mr. Kanda, these are spiral fractures. They come from
your arm being twisted��

�You think Akuma are incapable of
grabbing arms and twisting them in a way that would cause a fracture?� Yuu
asked rhetorically, getting up off the bed. The pressure cast was annoying, as
was the sling, but it was better than the plaster alternative.

�I�m just saying that you
shouldn�t use your occupation as a way to hide physical abuse,� the doctor
replied stubbornly.

Yuu seethed. He was not
going to admit anything about his father to this stupid health professional. �You�re
prying into things that aren�t there. Lavi and I may hit each other, but that�s
only while we�re training.� Yuu looked away, a blush forming on his face. They
also hit each other to get an edge over the other while�

He cut that thought off, just in
case the doctor was telepathic. Said doctor sighed dejectedly. Abruptly, the
stupid rabbit that he hated burst into the room.

�Yuu, you gave me a black eye!�
He complained loudly, pointing at his bad eye. In the few minutes Lavi had been
out of the room, a bruise had formed.

�You broke my arm,� he responded,
voice hard and cold as iron.

�How was I supposed to know it
would bend that way!? And besides, it wasn�t me!�

�You don�t know that, rabbit!�
Yuu shouted.

�What if it had been my other
eye, huh? I�d be fucking blind!�

�Good riddance!�

Lavi sniffed heartily, and Yuu
pulled him from the room, ignoring the doctor�s protests. It wasn�t worth
staying now that he was bandaged properly. And he was hungry, dammit. His stomach growled, making him curse under his
breath. He hated admitting any weakness, especially hunger. That was probably
why he hated yawning�he didn�t like his enemies knowing he was even the least
bit tired.

They headed over to the Order�s
cafeteria. The Infernal Girl asked prying questions, mocking him with the
amusement in her eyes.

�Hey, Yuu-pyon,
are you in an abusive relationship?� Amanda asked. ��Cause if
you are, you gotta get out of it. I know from
experience�they�re bad for ya.�

Yuu punched her, even though he
didn�t like to hit girls. To be fair, he had hit her arm, not her face or stomach (or chest�Yuu shuddered at the notion,
remembering that horrible day at the beach). He stomped out of the cafeteria,
ignoring the idea of food. Lavi followed fifteen minutes later with a tray of food
for him.

Sitting in their new room on the
Ark, he watched Lavi read, feeling somewhat at peace despite the healing pains
that shot through his arm every once in a while.

�Ne, Yuu, listen to this:
�It may be the biggest mistake I ever made, picking Liam as an apprentice.
Bookmen are supposed to be objective, but something about that incorrigible kid
has made me lose it. I can�t imagine a life when he is not my pupil, when he is
not asking stupid questions or assuming something wrong that I must fix. It has
been a joy, somehow, to be his Master, and it is very hard to leave him behind
in preference of a new apprentice. It feels like I�m betraying him somehow. I
don�t like the feeling. I have grown attached to Liam, and it is very hard now
to leave him behind. I hope, when he wakes up, he�ll be able to be happy. I
hope he won�t choose to continue on this path�he doesn�t deserve the eternal
numbness, the never-ending objectivity. I have come to believe he deserves
happiness. Perhaps this is what attachment does to people. But I do not regret
being attached to Liam. They were the best years of my unfeeling life. I�ll
never forget him. I wish him the best. So now I must close this scroll of my
life and move on, forgetting all attachments and trying not to dwell on the
strange hurt in my chest. Horace, my new apprentice, is the one I must train
now. I know, though, that I will never be attached to him, because in a way, my
heart belongs to Liam. Liam is the only person I have ever felt a bond of
kinship with. I wish him well as I move on. I hope he will move on, too.�

�That�s the most redundant I�ve
ever seen Bookman be. You were right, Yuu-chan, he did care,� Lavi said. Yuu
looked over in time to see the first of the tears fall, and he reluctantly held
the other man as he cried for his master a second time. Thankfully, this time,
there wasn�t a hideous orange carpet for him to bleed on.

Removing his pressure bandage a
few hours later, Yuu tested its range of motion. Despite a few twinges, it
seemed fine.

�Oh, it�s alright now?� Lavi
asked. �Does that mean we can continue from before?�

Yuu scoffed. �You broke my arm,
and you want to try to do it again?� He asked incredulously.

�Yuu, all I did was push ya down on the bed. The rest you did all by yourself.
And you�re smilin� again, despite all the anger. And
you�re smile�s still damn sexy,� Lavi insisted.

Yuu lifted the other man up
bodily, favoring his left arm just slightly. �You are going down now, rabbit,�
he growled, smiling predatorily. Lavi gulped, panic coming into his eye as Yuu
pushed him down on the other side of the bed, hard. Harder
than Lavi had pushed him down. Lavi bounced off the mattress, over the
footboard, and onto the floor. Rubbing his head, he remounted the bed,
grumbling something about how it wouldn�t have hurt so much if he had had his
damn rug. Yuu didn�t care, though. He reached out and tugged at Lavi�s ear,
causing the other man to gasp wildly. He was surprised, though, when Lavi
pushed him away.

�Yuu, be gentle with me, ne?�
He asked with acute panic in his voice, as if he was afraid Yuu was going to
break every bone in his body. Which he was.

�No,� he responded. He leaned
over and brought their lips into sweet, gentle contact, though, stroking the
back of Lavi�s head lightly. He let his hand slide down and peel
the zipper of Lavi�s jacket away as he tenderly licked Lavi�s lower lip.

Lavi gasped, opening his mouth
enough to allow Yuu entrance. Slowly�sensuously, as Lavi would put it�he
reached a hand under the man�s shirt, sliding it up until he reached the soft
skin of Lavi�s chest, running his fingers across it lightly. Surprisingly, Lavi
made a mewling noise in the back of his throat, and Yuu responded by sliding
the man�s jacket off completely, throwing it across the room and not caring
where it landed.

He felt Lavi�s hands tugging at
his own shirt and pulling it over his head. Yuu did the same, bringing the
man�s body even closer. His hair swirled over the contours of Lavi�s bare skin,
tracing the lines his hands were making. Yuu lightly, this time, pushed Lavi
down onto the mattress, straddling him as the man went down. Lavi made a
surprised noise, which Yuu cut off by kissing him tenderly. Just like anytime
they did anything physical, he wanted to show Lavi the extent of his love, as
he was still unable to say it. This time though, he wanted to express it
further. Lavi had jokingly asked for it to be gentle, and the Japanese man was
going to oblige.

There was none of the usual
struggle for dominance, none of the pain that preceded the pleasure; all there
was were Yuu�s raw feelings for Lavi.

Lavi moaned again as Yuu licked
his earring and simultaneously let his hand drift down to the redhead�s waist,
slowly undoing the buttons to his pants. His hand delved beneath the thick
layers of fabric, and slowly, ever so slowly, Yuu encircled Lavi�s length. As
he moved his hand along it almost leisurely, he saw the redhead reach down and
begin to pull off his pants, avoiding Yuu�s stroking hand. Yuu got the idea and
assisted, pulling Lavi�s pants down his legs at a pace so slow that Lavi
whimpered.

�Yuu, that�s�� he began, but Yuu
didn�t want to talk, only feel, so he covered Lavi�s mouth with his own again.
He ran his tongue lightly over the roof of the other man�s mouth, eliciting a
small almost-giggle. The entire time, his right hand did not lose its unhurried
rhythm. Flicking a now deft finger over the tip, he heard Lavi gasp and roll
his hips forward. A sweeping sensation flew through his body, making him
tingle. Without meaning to, Yuu added just a bit more pressure, allowing Lavi
another groan.

This was becoming almost too much
for Yuu. Lavi�s hands were already working on his pants,
shakily undoing buttons as he writhed under Yuu�s gentle touch. Pants and
boxers disappeared in a pile on the floor, and Yuu pressed himself down on
Lavi, feeling fire as naked flesh met naked flesh.

Lavi�s hands came around his
waist, near the curve of his ass. Sweat slicked between them as they began to
move against each other, just as slow as Yuu�s touches had been. Despite Lavi�s
obvious protests, he refused to pick up the pace. One of Lavi�s hands left his
back, reaching over to the bedside table. Yuu felt something hit his shoulder
as Lavi�s hand softly came to rest there. He reached up, removing a hand from
its fisted position in Lavi�s hair, and took what the other man had offered
him.

It was the tube of lube,
naturally. It was nearly empty, but there was enough. Pouring a generous amount
on his finger, he reached down, bypassing Lavi�s straining erection and probing
deeper. Massaging around the tightly constricted muscle until it was loose enough
to allow entrance, Yuu gently pushed a finger inside, swirling it around until
he could slide a second one in. Lavi shivered and moaned again as Yuu pressed
his fingers in farther, hitting the second coil of muscle. Smiling down at
Lavi�s sweaty and ecstasy-ridden face in a manner that he thought expressed his
emotions very well, Yuu leaned over, suddenly needing
to make more contact with the man beneath him. He kissed Lavi�s forehead, his
eyes�even the ruined one�before sweetly pressing his salty lips to the
redhead�s. Lavi pulled him closer, his breath hitching so much he had to pull
back for air a few seconds later.

Finally, the second muscle
relaxed, and Lavi screamed out in a language Yuu couldn�t understand as his
fingers prodded deeper. It was probably a curse word, though. If anything, Yuu
had found their intimate moments very educational, as far as speech went. He
thought that he could swear in at least twenty languages now.

It was getting hard for Yuu to
think. Every nerve in his body screamed out for release, but he didn�t listen
to his body�he never had. With an extreme force of will, he removed his hand
and brought it back to Lavi�s length, stroking it lightly, teasingly. Lavi
gasped out and reached up to run his hands through Yuu�s hair. It felt good,
too good, just like when Lavi massaged his scalp.

�Rabbit,� he hissed, extricating
himself so he could move his head down. Spreading Lavi�s legs, he leaned in,
kissing the inside of Lavi�s left thigh. It was uncharacteristic for him to do
so, but since he was being so out of character already, he figured Lavi would
forgive him. Of course, from Lavi�s hitched breathing, he imagined the other
man didn�t care in the least.

Lining himself up, he pushed in
with a speed that again made Lavi roll his hips in desperation for more
contact. Yuu grinned down, another uncharacteristic grin, and kissed Lavi
deeply, leisurely, pushing himself in even deeper.

�Lavi,� he whispered before he
could stop himself. He closed his eyes, just simply feeling for a moment, before
the redhead�s lips found his. They were urgent, but Yuu slowed them down. Lavi
had asked for gentle, and he would get it.

Forcing himself not to go faster,
Yuu kept up his painfully slow rhythm, getting perverse pleasure from Lavi�s
every moan, shiver, and gasp. He didn�t know how long it lasted, but every
moment gave birth to a thick, hot tendril of something deep in his gut. It
built, sluggish and deliberate, until Yuu himself was gasping, running sweaty
hands down Lavi�s equally sweaty chest, touching collarbone and breastbone and
ribs, rubbing lazy, torpid circles on the slick skin.

Lavi himself was not idle,
massaging shoulders and back in a way only he could do, tweaking nipples, and
lightly nibbling on the flesh at the junction of his shoulder and neck. Each
almost apathetic thrust that Yuu made was met with an almost desperate clashing
of hips. Every time Yuu touched him in just the right way�like right there,
just beneath his collarbone�Lavi would moan and gasp out different
things�Sanskrit was a common utterance, Yuu had discovered, as was Latin�and
run his hands through Yuu�s long hair, tangling it irreversibly. It would be a
mess in the morning, but then, they both would, and the tradeoff was enough to
keep Yuu from being annoyed.

He kissed Lavi lightly, a surface
kiss, and then moved to his lover�s ear, feeling it was time to finish up. He
had tortured Lavi enough. He sucked just as gently as he moved, sliding a hand
up to join his mouth. Lavi moaned and gasped and writhed and yelled in the many
different languages he knew until every muscle in his body froze and clenched,
making him so very, very tight. Yuu screamed for the very first time as
the lava in his stomach erupted from him, the world slimming as it always did
at the height of his pleasure.

Yuu slumped down, unable to hold
himself up at all, and pulled out. Lavi lay beneath him, panting heavily and
grinning like the Cheshire Cat himself.

�What?� He asked, his voice
coming out far too breathy for his liking.

�You screamed, felt good, I did��
Lavi gasped out between heavy breaths. He wrapped his arms around Yuu, pressing
their worn bodies ever closer, and for once, Yuu didn�t care that they were snuggling.
It was okay to call it that, but only just this once.

---

�Lavi,� Yuu muttered, holding the
other man closer.

�Hmmm?� Lavi responded, eyes still
closed and obviously still mostly asleep.

�Get up,� he ordered. He wouldn�t
say it, but he had to pee.

�Can�t,� Lavi mumbled.

�Why not?� Yuu asked testily, trying not to
shudder against the burning urge in his bladder.

�I melted, I�m a puddle.�

�You�re a puddle?� Yuu asked
slowly, uncomprehending.

�Yes, I�m a puddle of Lavi goo,�
the redhead responded.

�Well, you need to get up. I am�
in need of� fuck, I need to pee, Lavi, let me go.� There, he�d said it. Face
burning, he didn�t look at the other man as he obliged, and he kept his gaze
far away as he slowly dressed in the clothes that were still strewn over the
floor. He picked a pair of Lavi�s pants by accident, but he didn�t care, not
even bothering to grab a shirt in his hurry to find the Ark�s nearest
facilities.

Everyone stared as he ran,
holding Lavi�s pants up, but he was too intent on his target to do more than
scowl as he passed. Which was good. Perhaps he was too
blurry for them to see all the scars. He�d lost another petal, so he assumed he
now had more. Which was bad. No one needed to see
those, Lavi especially. He didn�t mind Lavi touching them, viewing them, when
they were being� physical� but at any other time, it was like Lavi was trying
to examine him, like the man was always counting them.

He returned a few minutes later,
feeling incredibly relieved. Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he proceeded to
pull it on when he felt warm hands on his sides.

�Yuu, where did these scars come
from?� Looking down, Yuu saw a rather large, ragged scar stretching from the
middle of his left side to his shoulder and a larger one paralleling the first
on his right. Both scars stretched through to his back.

�The one on the left is from
Martel, when Moyashi was still an incompetent child, and the one on the
right is from Italy. I probably have two on my right shoulder from Martel as
well. You shouldn�t be so surprised, Lavi, I am an Exorcist. If I�m getting my
scars back, then there are going to be a lot. This goes more for me, as I have
always fought without thought of injury,� Yuu explained as he pulled his shirt
on completely.

He leaned back against the
headboard, letting his arms fall to his sides. He was tired, so he closed his
eyes and reached for Lavi�s hand. Suddenly, there was a pressure on his
forearm, and it was abruptly turned so the underside was facing the ceiling. He
opened his eyes in confusion to see Lavi looking horrified� and angry.

�What the fuck are these?� Lavi
demanded. With a feeling of dread, Yuu looked down again.

�Ah, those would be from the
times I tried to commit suicide with Mugen,� Yuu replied, shrugging
nonchalantly and trying to remove his arm from Lavi�s unforgiving grip.

�Yuu there are almost twenty
scars on this arm!�

�I told you I did it once, right
after I met Tiedoll, I just didn�t mention the other times. They weren�t
important.�

�Not important? How the fuck is
this not important? How many other scars are you hiding from me?� Yuu sighed
and reluctantly lifted up one of the pant legs. He wasn�t surprised to see the
long jagged scars there as well. Lavi blanched and spluttered for a moment.

�W-why? Why would you do that to
yourself?� Lavi asked, grabbing Yuu�s arms and turning him so that he had no
choice but to look at his lo�Lavi.

�Because it made me feel like I
was alive, like the pain was what was keeping me connected to the world. Isn�t
that what you did with your hands?� That comment stopped Lavi short as he
contemplated.

�When was the last time you did
it?� Lavi asked.

�When I was sixteen,� Yuu replied
quietly. �Oh, and once when I was twenty,� he added after a moment of thought.

�Yuu, why
did you always run parallel to your arm�?�

�You know why,� Yuu whispered,
looking away. �I told you before, I wanted to die. You shouldn�t be so
surprised by this.� He ripped his arm from Lavi�s oppressive grip and went to
his top drawer to grab his Exorcist jacket. He didn�t care that it would be
brutally hot in the Ark with it on. He just needed to not be around Lavi.

�Then why, when you were sixteen,
did you�?�

Yuu turned from his position at
the door. �You know why,� he said quietly, slamming the door behind him on his
way out, leaving a very confused, oblivious Lavi.

---

December 2, 2013�The Dark Order,
Director�s Office

Carter sighed. Sometimes, being
the most Liberal Head of the most Conservative organization on the planet made
his brain hurt, but now it was making his heart hurt. As he looked down at the
file, he knew he had to do something about the situation, but he couldn�t stop
the inspection from happening. He also knew he couldn�t separate the two
Exorcists, even for the amount of time it took for the inspection to be
complete. Another bed, it seemed, was in order. They could be roommates for a
day, could they not?

Heaving it down the corridor to
the Ark, he enlisted the help of several of his subordinates. He knocked grimly
on Lavi�s door (on which a rabbit and a cat were hastily scribbled. Carter
noted that the cat seemed to be crossed out with several choice Japanese
characters next to it). He was unprepared for the sight that greeted him. Brain
frozen with shock, Carter barely managed to think that he didn�t really
need to know what color boxers Lavi had around his ankles. Thankfully, the
redheaded Exorcist was wearing a small towel, but Carter didn�t think that
image would ever leave his mind. It was burned there, branded like cattle in a
third world country.

�Lavi, I need to speak with you,�
Carter said seriously.

�Er,
can it wait until after my shower? I really have to pee and�yeah,� Lavi
finished lamely. From the state of the room�clothes strewn about, sheets thrown
unceremoniously over the nightstand, several suspicious-looking stains�he would
have to have Lavi clean up, if the man was capable of such tidiness.

�It really can�t.� Perhaps it was
his tone, but Lavi sobered immediately and stepped back, allowing the Director
and his crew into the room. The bed came, too.

�Why do you have a bed?� Lavi
asked, scratching his head as he pulled his�God, seriously?�bunny-patterned
boxers up.

�We�re going to be having a few
visitors today,� Carter said, shooing his subordinates from the room. They
closed the door behind them, and Carter sighed heavily, handing Lavi a copy of
the e-mail he�d received this morning.

He watched as Lavi�s eye moved
impossibly fast over the note, finishing it in a quarter of the time it would
have taken him, his face growing darker with each line. �Cardinals?�
Lavi finally asked, looking up. Carter wasn�t sure, but he thought he saw a
flash of fear in the young man�s eye before it was whisked away and placed back
under his unreadable mask. �Why does this concern me?�

�There are some things you need
to know about Vatican policies,� Carter said, looking anywhere but at the young
redhead in front of him. The poor kid.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. �I dunno, D�rector, I know a lot
about Vatican policies. I was there in the Leverrier
reign, after all.�

�You think the Leverriers are gone?� Carter asked sharply, laughing
bitterly without meaning to. �I guarantee at least one of the Cardinals is
related to them somehow. Even the fucking Pope!�

Lavi flinched. �I still don�t see
why this concerns me,� he repeated.

�In the past few decades, the
Church has become almost radically anti-homosexual,� Carter explained, this
time meeting Lavi�s solitary green eye. �It�s a reaction to the increase in
secular support for it. I think they clung to their radical opinions as a way
to show they still had power over something. But their motive doesn�t matter in
this situation. It was kept from the public completely. Lavi,
if they find out about you and Kanda, Exorcists or not, they will kill you.�

�They may not enjoy the thought
of our relationship,� Lavi insisted, �but we are two of the four most powerful
Exorcists. If they kill us, the tide of the war will change completely.�

�It�s happened before,� Carter
appealed quietly. �They were just members of the Science Department. They were
in charge of the first generation Anti-Akuma guns�these two ladies actually
created the weapon by themselves, though the records state it was the entire
team. Saying that these two ladies�who were left off the team roster�created
them is just about the only un-biased thing I�ve seen in any of Smith�s
reports. Lavi, they were killed.�

He handed Lavi the report, which
he had thankfully taken with him. Lavi flipped it back on the bed. �I can read
it later. I just need to know right now�how did they die?� His voice was
urgent, and Carter couldn�t for the life of him understand what had caused the
change, what was motivating him now to act like this.

He didn�t want to say it. He
really didn�t. �In the basement of the Order, there�s a floor that contains a
large bomb shelter. It sometimes doubled as a prison. They�� Carter cleared his
throat. �They shackled the women to either side of a cell and let them watch
each other starve to death.�

Lavi blinked, unphased.
He shrugged, but his tone when he next spoke belied all his panic. �Where is
Yuu?�

Carter shook his head. �I thought
he was with you.�

Lavi, too, shook his head. He
brought his green eye to meet with Carter�s, and the Director was blown away by
how much raw fear was held in it. He had never before seen the young man
so worried. �He left two hours ago. I bet he�s trainin�.
Ne, Director, you owe me a really long, warm shower.� Lavi hastily
pulled on a pair of pants as he spoke. He ran from the room, feet bare and only
in pants, presumably to find the man he very obviously loved.

Carter watched his back disappear
and then returned to his office. There was nothing more he could do, as much as
he hated it.

---

Somewhere
that the Cardinals wouldn�t find them. They�d inspect rooms, of course, so theirs
was out, even with the addition of another bed. As for the state of his bed�it
wouldn�t be uncommon for an Exorcist, or any young man, really, to pleasure
himself. The stains were easily explainable. The Church might frown on
masturbation, but in the scheme of things, Lavi figured they�d let it go.
Everyone did it. It was the biggest secret humanity held. And honestly, with
all the Priests getting off on young boys these days, he felt the Vatican was
being just a mite hypocritical.

He found Yuu training, naturally.
The man had worked up a sexy sweat that was completely covered by his Exorcist
jacket, and his hair had long since fallen from its customary ponytail.

�Yuu!� He shouted. The long-haired man
lost his footing and fell, Mugen flitting back into inactivity so he wouldn�t fall
on the blade.

The glare he got was probably the
coldest he�d ever received, but he didn�t care right now. �What the fuck,
Rabi?� Yuu screamed, obviously too infuriated to speak English.

�Yuu, I know you�re angry, but
now�s not the time,� Lavi said, a note of panic breaking his voice on the last
word.

Yuu blinked and lost all apparent
hostility. Getting up from the cold, stone floor, he walked straight over to
Lavi. Surprisingly, Yuu put a hand on his shoulder. �What happened?� He asked
quietly.

�We need to not be together
for a few hours,� Lavi said, his voice pained. �Apparently, the Church is still
filled with Conservative freaks, and we�ll get killed if we don�t. We also need
a place to avoid being found. No one goes to the library, so I think we should
go there.�

Yuu nodded soberly as Lavi
grabbed his hand and started pulling him from the room. They reached the
library very quickly, it being only a few hallways over and three floors up.
They walked over to Lavi�s usual corner in the very back of the building, near
the archives section.

�I�m going to read,� Lavi said,
his voice shaking. He could stand death, but Yuu�he shook his head. Best not to think about that. He grabbed the nearest book,
one he�d already read, unfortunately, and sat down on the couch he had come to
call his own. He was surprised to feel Yuu sit down next to him, a book of
Japanese literature in hand.

�So, what exactly is this all
about?� Yuu asked after a while.

�The Order still kills people it
doesn�t like. We�re people it doesn�t like.�

�Che, we�re Exorcists��

�Doesn�t matter,� Lavi dismissed.

They read for hours, and Lavi
began to feel drowsy. Normally, he could work through it�it was a skill Bookman
had praised him for�but he didn�t want to fight the oblivion he was being
offered. When he was asleep, he didn�t have to worry about them dying, about
Yuu being killed simply for being his lover, about stupid, fat-ass
good-for-nothings who thought they were superior just because they�d never been
on a battlefield. When he was asleep, he didn�t have to worry about war, even
though he always dreamed of it.

He felt his heavy head hit Yuu�s
shoulder�that was still innocent enough, right?�and as he finally drifted off,
he felt something warm and strong encircle his hand. Whatever it was, it felt
very, very good, and he hoped it just stayed there. It reminded him of cinnamon
and lotuses, and whenever those scents were around him, everything was right in
the world.

---

The photographer liked his new
job. It was very high-paying, had excellent benefits, and it gave him an
exclusive look into the lives of all the Exorcists of the Dark Order. He exited
his new office, which was located at the back of the library. He saw the
redheaded Exorcist�his name started with an L or something�and the effeminate
Exorcist sitting down on a couch in the corner, reading. He loved people
watching, and the dynamic of their relationship was fun to get on film. As the
redhead�s head drooped and then fell onto the other Exorcist�s shoulder�that one
was Kanda, if he recalled correctly�the photographer decided it was a good time
to take another photo. He had a massive collection of this couple, along with
the budding one between General Walker and General Lee.

He could call it his passion, he
supposed, taking pictures and videos of people as their relationships grew. It
was interesting to look at them later, make up stories for how they got into
the positions he�d photographed them in. He saw the other one drift off,
placing a hand in the redhead�s. It was a sweet moment, one he couldn�t ruin
with a flash. Ensuring it was off, he took out his
manual camera and snapped a picture. So innocent, so carefree� he loved it.

He couldn�t help but laugh as
they shifted lightly in their long nap. First, the black-haired man fell
backward, his back hitting the couch. The redhead fell shortly thereafter,
landing on Kanda, who only grabbed the man, pulling him closer. The
photographer took out his video camera. It would be a good exercise to document
how this deteriorated further.

A movement in the corner of his
eye alerted him to the presence of someone new on the scene�or rather, a group
of someones. It was a red-cloaked procession. At
first, they didn�t seem to notice the two napping Exorcists, but then one of
them pointed over.

�Is that a man or a woman?� One
of the scarlet men asked.

�I� think� they�re both men,�
another one of them commented.

�Heresy,� a third hissed. The
photographer didn�t like where this was going. Couldn�t these red people see
how pure this relationship was?

�Inspector Euleine,
kindly restrain them. You are a user of Crow, are you not?� The first one who
had spoken requested. The callous tone under the order told the photographer
all he needed to know about the situation. Something was going to happen to his
favorite couple�and more importantly, two Exorcists�and it was his job to
record it. Just like the Bookmen recorded history, the photographer recorded
this Order and its goings-on. He reached back for his pack of spare batteries
and lenses, checked to ensure they were for the proper device, and inched
farther away from his office, hiding behind a bookshelf.

�Yuu�?� The red-haired one asked
groggily, searching for his lover�s hand and not finding it. He and Kanda had
been picked up from the couch and bound with strange, card-like objects. There
was a ring of them around the redhead�s right thigh and surprisingly, two more,
one around each of his hands. A larger, belt-like ring pulled tightly at
Kanda�s hips, binding his already activating Innocence to his leg.

The procession of Cardinals�and
that was definitely what they were�picked the two Exorcists up and carried them
off. Without a moment�s hesitation, the photographer followed. He was led
through a labyrinth of hallways and a plethora of steps until somehow, inexplicably, he ended up behind a pillar, watching as the
Cardinals pushed the Exorcists to the floor of the Grand Marshals� level.

�What�s going on?� The Grand
Marshal in the middle asked.

�These two have been tried for
insubordination before�why were they not investigated further?� One of the
Cardinals called out in a deep voice.

�It wasn�t necessary,� the Grand
Marshal answered. �If you looked at the report, one was declared insane and was
given a psych referral and the other was� unaccountable for his actions as
well.�

�Explain.�

�Unconscious
at the time of the trial. It is particularly hard to investigate someone when he is staring
lethargically out into space, not responding to anything asked of him. His
particular cases of insubordination were acquitted due to Smith�s
incompetency,� the Grand Marshal said, almost as if he had practiced the
speech. The photographer hoped the puny microphone chip in his recorder would
be able to pick up this conversation. He could always rely on the redhead
later, if he was still alive, but he hoped for proper audio nonetheless.

�I find it inexcusable that an
investigation could be held and completely overlook the blatant sodomy.�

�I�what?� The Grand Marshal sounded
appalled, though his tone made it apparent that it was geared toward the
Cardinal, not toward the allegations being made.

�Sodomy is a sin,
it is against the law of the Vatican, which makes it heresy. Why were
these two not punished accordingly?�

�With all due respect, you
bastard, there was no sodomy around that time. Unless you�re saying I�m
into necrophilia, �cause that�s what Yuu was like at th��

There was a resounding smack
that echoed with monstrous volume throughout the hall. The photographer
watched, horrified, as the redhead went down hard, despite the arms that
restrained him. Kanda called the redhead�s name�which the photographer
missed�and made to move forward, as if trying to catch the other man, but was
held back. He made a snarling noise but was otherwise unable to move. A moment
later, another card-like object was over his face, and he looked like he was
beginning to suffocate.

�Since you seem to be incapable
of following protocol, we�ll take care of it from here,� a Cardinal said,
reaching down and slinging the redhead�s now barely-conscious form�he had
apparently hit his head on the ground when he�d been slapped�over his shoulder.
The Grand Marshals and Cardinals stood, simply staring at each other with
mutual dislike, until Kanda fell to the floor himself, a distinct shade of blue
that was apparent despite the dim lighting. The object over his mouth was
removed, and the man let out a gasping breath. Later, the photographer would
have to review his footage, see how long they�d been asphyxiating him.

They walked over to the main
elevator�copied from the original triangular prism from the old
Headquarters�and went down, toting the two Exorcists with them as if they were
ragdolls. The photographer nodded to the Grand Marshals as he followed, taking
a service elevator that moved far faster to Hevlaska�s chamber.

�Hevlaska,� the Cardinal with the
redhead called out. The ancient, bright white Exorcist emerged from a coil that
looked much like a sleeping position.

�Yes?� She asked in her deep alto
voice.

�You are to confiscate the
Innocence from these two men. They have disobeyed the laws of the Vatican and
as such must be removed from the Order. When you have the Innocence, revert it
to elemental form.�

�Its form does not matter, and as
long as the Innocence is synched with them, it is that rate that matters most,�
Hevlaska said, not refusing their order but not acquiescing to it, either.

�You are to do as we say, or must
we remind you why?� One Cardinal in the middle of the group asked. Hevlaska
flinched, and the photographer heard a hushed whisper of family murderer
go around.

She reluctantly nodded and
released tendrils down to the two Exorcists. �I cannot take it from them when
they are bound so,� she said, sounding mournful.

The bounds were released immediately,
and Hevlaska reached out her tentacles to retrieve the Innocence. With its
removal, the redhead began to scream, deep and loud and guttural. Blood spouted
like twin fountains from his hands, and still the man screamed on. The
Cardinals stuffed something in his mouth to mute the noise, but it could not be
muffled.

�LAVI!� Kanda shouted, fighting
desperately against the people holding him still. He elbowed one in the stomach
and got another with a kick to the groin. A third one went down with a punch to
the face. Kanda�s knuckles began to bleed, but he ran quickly over to his
fallen lover, holding the other man�s bleeding hands gently in his own.

They were ripped apart a moment
later and both screamed harder, protesting the treatment.

From above, Hevlaska made a
strange sound. �I cannot revert them up here,
together. They both take on such an evolved form that it may be impossible to
melt it down altogether.�

�You will do it!�

Hevlaska shrank into herself. �It
will take time, and I cannot do it up here. My stomach holds many slots for
Innocence. I believe I may be able to do it there.� The Innocence floated down
through her translucent body and into the depths of the Order. From the way
Hevlaska had looked, the photographer understood that last bit had been a lie.
He wasn�t sure about the first comment she had made, though, about being unable
to revert them at all. He sincerely hoped that was the case.

A Cardinal walked over to the
service elevator, toward the photographer, and he sprinted out, moving behind a
pile of boxes placed conveniently right next to it.

�Where are you taking them?�
Hevlaska asked, screwing up her face in what the photographer recognized as
faux-concentration.

�Below,� was the only answer she
was given. The photographer heard a distant whimper that matched the voice of
the redhead�Lavi, he reminded himself. He would never forget that scream.

---

�Thirty-seven, thirty-eight,
thirty-nine, fort��

A whack to the back of the head,
but he didn�t stop keeping count. It was so far, so, so far down, and they just
kept descending, descending�

�forty-three,�
he continued once he was able to clear his head enough to continue mumbling,
�forty-four, forty-five, fo��

Another
whack. �Shut up,
fag!�

�I�m not a bassoon,� Lavi
commented, though he knew that wasn�t what the Cardinals had meant. He�d been
around Amanda long enough to know all the slang of the past several decades. He
never thought that particular one would be used against him, though, not with
such menace behind it. �Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two��

He was hit again, but it didn�t
matter. He could barely feel it over the raw throbbing in his hands. The
Innocence had healed them, yes, but the it had run
deep lines down to his bone, and when those were gone, well� apparently, it was
like when stitches popped. Violently. A minute or two after they were put in.

�Fifteen, sixteen,� he continued,
despite the rough treatment he was getting. He knew Yuu was barely hanging on,
that he needed an anchor, and Lavi also needed to make sure his seconds were
accurate. They�d been going down for a minute and twenty seconds now, a minute
and twenty-three, a minute and twenty-eight�

�Thirty-four, thirty��

This time, it was Lavi who
stopped himself. The door of the elevator slid open with a dinging noise. There
was no light. Lavi�s eyes had already become accustomed to the one tiny lantern
in the lift, but now there was nothing. It was a void. A vast
emptiness that reminded Lavi of his head.

There was a sliding, grating
noise as a very thick, heavy-looking metal door squeaked open, obviously
lacking in oil. Ahead, he heard another door open. He looked over to where he
was sure he could hear Yuu�s somewhat unsteady breathing.

�Yuu,� he called softly. He heard
a grunt and breathed a sigh of relief. �Moyashi will do something about
this, the others, too,� he said, switching to Japanese in the hopes that
the Cardinals wouldn�t understand. From the confused shuffling and delayed
admonishments, they hadn�t. �Suki da,� he said hoarsely, quietly. He heard Yuu grunt
again, a lighter, almost hopeful grunt that was worth all the pain that the
fist in his back gave him.

�Su�su�ah.� There was a muffled thump, one that Lavi couldn�t identify.

�Yuu?� He asked in a quivering voice. There
was a third grunt, and Lavi felt somewhat relieved again. He got another strike
to the back. Obviously, talking was out.

Suddenly, he was moving, and he
couldn�t hear Yuu�s breathing anymore, it was going
away� or was that him? He couldn�t tell. He heard more heavy
squeaking. Wind rushed passed him, and he assumed he was falling. The hard,
freezing stone that he hit a moment later confirmed his hypothesis. Hands moved
around him�something clanked around his ankles. Whatever they were, they
were colder than the air around him. And then he was alone. But then, he was
always alone, wasn't he?

---

�Thirty-seven, thirty-eight,
thirty-nine, fort��

Those words, just simple numbers
ascending one at a time, kept Yuu concentrating on something other than the
oppressive feeling, than the cold that had started to settle the moment the
light had faded so long ago.

�Forty-three, forty-four,
forty-five, fo��

Every time Lavi stopped speaking,
every time someone hit him to cut him off, tore at Yuu. He didn�t like being
bound, being without his Innocence. He hated it. He�d never been without Mugen.
Mugen was the thing that had kept him alive. Mugen was the thing that was
slowly being replaced with Lavi. But his chokuto�s
importance to him could never be erased, and he felt physically� empty without
it. He had a feeling it had to do with how it was crystal type, but right now
wasn�t the time to dwell on it. His sword was missing from his body, he
couldn�t activate it, and he was about to be killed. He must be, because it was
so cold, even with his Exorcist jacket.

�Shut up, fag!� Yuu didn�t know
what that meant�he wasn�t up-to-date with slang, nor did he want to be�but he
didn�t like the tone, and he knew it was aimed toward Lavi. His
Lavi. He curled his hands into fists, unable to do anything more than
that.

�I�m not a bassoon,� Lavi
murmured. Yuu blinked into the darkness, not that it changed the vision that
much. The little lantern was so dim it couldn�t really be counted as
illumination. �Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two��

They hit Lavi yet again. He
remained quiet for far too long. Yuu shifted, but he felt something reach down
and restrain him, as if they had read his mind. He needed to be by Lavi�s
side�was he unconscious? He didn�t know, but he was� goddammit
he was fucking worried. He could admit that to himself, could he not?
Screw pride, fuck it. He was worried.

Deep in his mind, he felt one of
the chains holding his emotions erode just a little bit.

He took a deep, relieved breath
when Lavi began to speak again. �Fifteen, sixteen�� His voice faded away again.
Yuu�s heart started beating faster. Lavi had lost so much blood; he was
probably in shock right now. If he wasn�t delirious from that, they�d certainly
hit him enough, probably in the back of the head. He really needed to know if
Lavi was okay, because in this tiny space, there was only one certainty: he
loved Lavi, and if anything happened to the man, Yuu couldn�t live.

A chain broke completely, one of
the many necessary to free his emotions. It wasn�t much, but perhaps it was
progress. Finally.

�Thirty-four, thirty��

Yuu felt the lift bounce
infinitesimally as it came to a stop. One minute and thirty-four and a half
seconds. From the lifts he�d taken recently, that was a ridiculously long time.
They were very deep in the mountain, then.

He heard Lavi�s breathing, and
that steadied him. Yes, he could concentrate. This was just like when he
meditated. Deep breath in, deep breath out, matching them to something very
important�like Lavi�s breaths.

�Yuu,� Lavi said quietly, �Moyashi
will do something about this, the others, too.� The unseen redhead spoke in
Japanese. Somehow, just that lightened the mood enough for him to find a tiny
amount of peace. He could get through this, because Lavi was still alive. Because Lavi was right there, even if Mugen wasn�t. �Suki da,� Lavi
added hoarsely, his voice nearly too quiet for Yuu to hear.

He needed to say it back. Deep in
his mind, the feelings thrashed and bucked and tore at the restraints. He loved
Lavi, he loved him, let him say it, dear God, let him say it, even if he didn�t
believe in God. It became a litany in his head: say it, say it�

And then, miraculously, he
thought he could. Maybe just this once. If it was
going to be his only chance. �Su�su�ah.�
Something hit him in the back, forcing a grunt from his throat. They weren�t
allowed to talk, and now that the opportunity was gone, Yuu couldn�t say it.
But he wanted to.

�Yuu?�

That sweet,
sweet voice. He didn�t
care if Lavi thought it sounded like a fucking apple. Apples tasted good, they
were fine, he loved them. Tiedoll had given him one,
before he�d died, back when they�d first met. Every time he returned to
Headquarters, Tiedoll would insist on giving him a big apple. It annoyed him,
but it reminded him that some things in life were tolerable. Not his Master,
though. Well, maybe his Master, he amended. But apples were good�they were his
favorite fruit. And that had nothing to do with Lavi. Not that he would tell the
stupid rabbit that. Not that he�d ever get the chance.

He didn�t think Lavi�s voice
sounded like an apple. It was bitter and sweet, like sweet and sour sauce. If he was comparing it to something, which he wasn�t.

He couldn�t hear Lavi�s breathing
anymore�where had he gone? Hadn�t he been next to Yuu? Even the dim light of
the lantern was gone, and Yuu could see nothing. Could Lavi see anything? He
nearly hit his head at his idiocy. It�s dark! He screamed at himself. Of
course he can�t!

Which scared
him. Not that he
would admit it.

And then they were moving him. He
heard something that sounded like a scream. It was Lavi�s voice. He tried to
struggle, but they wouldn�t let him, holding him in a vice-tight grip. They
were just pulling him along for so long. He screamed out, yelled, shrieked.
Lavi was there, and they were taking Yuu away from him. He lost count of
footsteps. But he still screamed, screamed in English, in Japanese, even in
fucking Sanskrit. Even after his voice cracked and died, he still screamed on.

He heard something open, felt the
light breeze as it moved past his face. Then he was in a room, cold and dark,
and though he couldn�t see the door, it reminded him of his childhood. He tried
to curl up, but the people were still there, pulling him further in. He tried
to struggle, tried to scream though his voice was gone, but to no avail. The
Exorcist jacket was ripped from his body. He felt the knife that tore it away
sink through flesh in a shallow wound that would probably bleed far too much.
His shirt was thrown off, too. Yuu shivered in the cold. It was freezing.

His back hit the wall, and this
time, he did make a noise�a sort of strangled yelp that didn�t suit him at all.
His hands were wrenched above his head. Adrenaline crashed through his system. No,
no no!!! His head screamed out. He would never
be shackled again. No! Not this! Anything, no, stop!

He didn�t realize there was a
voice pervading the air again until its brief flicker to life had died down.
The movements of the Cardinals had stopped, and they stood above him. Had he
said that out loud? It wouldn�t surprise him. What language had he spoken in?

�You don�t deserve our mercy,�
someone very, very close said. Yuu shuddered away. It wasn�t his father, it
really wasn�t. His father was dead. He was over this, dammit! Hadn�t he chosen to get over it when he�d told
Lavi? So why was he shaking like a leaf?

Yuu jerked against their hold.
The wall against his back was freezing. Everything was so cold, and his father
was right there, right in front of him, breathing hot, moist
alcohol-ridden breath on his cheek as he smiled down at him.

Yuu fought and fought and fought,
but cold things came around his wrists too. The door closed, but Yuu knew they
were looming there, looming, just like his father. They would loom and then
they would come in, and they would show him his mother, beat her up, rape her,
all in front of him, and he was helpless to stop it because no matter how hard
he screamed and how hard he pulled at the shackles on his wrists, he was held
immobile.

And then he began to seize.

---

A/N: That was long. O.O

Sorry about the continued Kanda
and Lavi torture. Seriously, though, this is the LAST time. Well, except for
once more, but that�s more� self-inflicted?

A/N2: OK. Sorry for not updating
yesterday. We'll go back to our normal schedule of Sundays next week. Aaand Em1 has an amazing story for y'all! Okay, so she was
at the history with her boyfriend last week, and they had a special exhibit on
World War Two and about all the sacrifices non-military people had to make and
stuff like that. It was all real fascinating. Especially this little animatronic family, the Flynn family--mother, father, and
son--and you will never guess what their son's name was... yes, that is right,
little Liam Flynn. She nearly died of laughter, and she couldn't even begin to
explain to her boyfriend what was so fricking
funny.
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Innocent Rain