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Portrait Without Sin	By : animeyaoi Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 4374 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: FAKE, nor any of it�s characters belong to me�* sigh *� those rights all belong to Sanami Matoh.

Warning: Not your �nice� everyday fanfic of your favorite couple. Very strong language / Humiliation (depending on how you look at it) / Angst / Lime, Lemon / Yaoi. Rating will tend to go up in later chapters.

Summary: How would it be if the one person you trusted with your heart was found to have betrayed it? Seeing him there, with� �him� was nearly more than he could bare. He never thought that he would do something like this. He never thought that he would be betrayed by him.
********************** Story Is After Comment

I want to thank all the people that took time to review, even to Anon.

I put this fanfic up for the very reason of hitting readers with something so different and intense that they might even hate it or me. In fact, Anon, you�re reaction was what I DID expect when I put the story on line in the first place. The thing of it is, it wasn�t.

I cannot help that some people may not like what I�ve done, but that�s the way in life. It can be as cruel, and hard, and as mean as what I�ve portrayed so far, even with the most loving of people. It doesn�t mean things can�t get better, nor does it mean things can�t get worse. This story is my idea, and I know exactly what I�m doing with it and where it�s going.

I gave CLEAR and FAIR warning in the beginning, before anyone went on to read the story. I gave FAIR warning by the summary of what the story was about. And I GAVE my feelings for the couple.

Yes, I have read the books except vol. 1 and 7, which I�m awaiting their arrival to my door here in the next couple of weeks. CORRECTION: In prior comment, which of course I�ve revised a bit now, I mentioned that it seemed that the two took 5 years to get �together�, but people say it�s two. I have no problem in that correction.

No, I�m not on crack, and as for the name calling -- well, I�ve been called those before, without warrant, by someone I totally loved, so I�m a bit immune from someone that doesn�t know me to say those things. I don�t mind flames or corrective criticism, and if I was unsure of my story and unprepared for such review, it might have really hurt. As I said before, I expected heated flames, and if people want to write something as mean as yours, I can�t prevent it, YET it is at my discretion that if they are too sick and depraved, I DO HAVE the power to rid them from my review listing. I will, however, keep yours there.

I understand the reason as to not putting an address along with a comment such as that, but at the same time it�s sad that a person will write such a comment with such fervor in their opinion and not be person enough to stand by their own words. Kind of shows no nerve to meet a person face to face. It�s more like waiting until a persons back is turned to strike at them. It doesn�t really matter, because I know it anyway. You and I do have the same tasted in stories� such as Wyck* Ways and Fragments of� which I won�t publicate where it�s found because I won�t be the cause of other people attacking you for your feelings or opinion. You are free to write an opinion as I am to write my story.

In no way am I bashing the series or the characters. I LOVE IT AND THEM! (And actually they�ve taken me in as well, even though I sleep on the couch for now.)

If you have a problem with my story, Anon, you should go back and read act 14 in vol. 5. Dee gets very upset over the wrong reason that Ryo says he could �do it� to him and adds he �wouldn�t care�. (I full heartedly understand where Ryo was at (mentally and emotionally) at the time, as well as understand where and how Dee took the come on.) Still, Dee back hands Ryo across the face -- that�s pretty harsh. It wasn�t the come on itself, but the words Ryo spoke and their meaning. He tells him to stop acting like a whore that he�s not. He also uses the words asshole, dumb-ass, dickwad, and fuck(ing). Dee�s also done his share of �jumping Ryo�s bones�, trying to get Ryo�s clothes off� willing or not. Not to the extent I�ve taken it, but then they weren�t having sex either. SO� you tell me how I don�t know my characters�

I think, Dee believing he just caught the love of his life with another man -- naked and kissing -- that my version of his reaction is just as fitting a behavior -- and maybe even more so -- as he had in the book over simple words. Who�s to say how a character (person) will react in certain situations or what they will do because of it?

So, no, I won�t be taking my story off, nor cutting off my hands, or dying - unless it�s God�s will. If I no longer get any reviews, then that�s the choice of the readers, but I will still finish this story.

The thing of it, Anon� it made you FEEL something really intense� even if it was me you struck out at. It hit you with something so hard you passionately clicked out those claws of yours to protect it. Good. I�ve hit you so deep with something that you have just got to know their �fate.�

Additional thanks and comments are at the bottom so not to take up anymore beginning space. This comment is about as long as the chapter is.

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Portrait Without Sin

By: Ryoan

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Part 3: Lost

His boots tapped quickly and harshly against the wooden flooring of the hallway as he headed toward the elevator. Only anger fueled him to move, otherwise the gripping pain that he felt crushing his heart would have had him crumble to the floor and weep like a baby. He couldn�t have that. He needed to get out. He needed out so that he could breathe before he suffocated there too.

He thought that he had finally found the other piece that completed him. It had certainly felt like it. And after all that time chasing after Ryo, building a relationship with him� He thought that he knew his half Japanese partner, but then he sarcastically chuckled inwardly at himself. It just proved that no one ever really knew anyone.

What a fucking waste! All those years to get him and they couldn�t last a year after he had! Now his life and heart was shredded beyond measure� again. Old feelings of being alone, being deceived crept back around his heart making him feel as though he just wasn�t destined to love, be loved, and be able to keep it.

His finger pushed at the button on the wall even before he had came to a complete halt. He stared fixedly at the metal closure about ten seconds before he pushed the button again. It was even a shorter time than that when he pushed it again,� and again, and again until a frustrated growl rose up out of his throat. With the side of his fist, Dee gave the button three or four more jabs, as if the elevator would hurry any faster by abusing it, before finally hearing it ding and the door slid open. Stepping into the cubical, he quickly smacked the button for the first floor.

He looked up to give one last look down the corridor, and he saw Ryo standing there. He had managed to put his pants back on, but the top button wasn�t done; he was barefoot and shirtless, hair mussed up, and he stood there with one hand reaching out to him as if to make him stop. A mixture of emotions displayed on his face, including a loss for words with his mouth hanging part way open and his dark eyes reflecting as much.

�Good bye, Ryo,� his mind silently said with finality, and he turned his face away because he couldn�t bare to look at him the remaining couple of seconds before the door closed.
**********************
Ryo collapsed to his knees as the elevator door closed. Dee was gone. It wasn�t like he was just mad and took off to cool down a bit as he would occasionally when they argued. This was different. This left a lingering emptiness in the air. This felt truly as if it was the end.

How could he have thought that he could have kept this a secret? And from a cop, no less! Had he been so lousy of one himself, that he had given Dee enough clues over the past weeks for him to decide to follow him? Had he been so wrapped up in his own excitement that he hadn�t noticed sparking his partner�s curiosity? Surely he had to have, or Dee wouldn�t have shown up there at Armon�s. After that� well, it wasn�t a scene in which he would have wanted his lover to walk in on.

The expression that crossed Dee�s features those few seconds that they stared at each other, relayed the message that it was too late to even try to give an excuse. Still he ignored that; calling out to him, dressing quickly, and rushing out without so much as a good-bye to the other man left behind.

He hadn�t given heed to it even when he arrived at the apartment. He wanted to explain, but Dee�s feral temper cut him off and backed him down time after time. Things came to a head and this was the result.

Dee was gone.
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Dee drove aimlessly around the city. There was no real direction in which he headed -- just as long as there was motion outside his window that was all that mattered. There were times that he just wanted to shove his foot down on the pedal and just take a chance with what fate wanted to do with him next, only he was afraid that -- as a joke -- he�d survive to continue the entertainment of his existence.

It had felt like he had been shot, stabbed, beaten, and run over by a truck. He had hurt so bad, but he was numb for the time being, except his throat felt raw from both crying and holding the sounds back. His eyes felt glued open from the crystals of salt drying around the edges.

He did not know for sure how long he had been driving around, for his mind had been in too much turmoil to be bothered with such a trivial thing as time, but eventually he pulled up outside a building. There were lights still on in a couple of the upper floor windows, and also the front door step and inner hallway was lit as well. It was a change from what he was use to, and even though it was now familiar to him, it wasn�t the place he had belonged.

He sat in the car, staring up at the door thinking that he hadn�t ever felt as lost and alone as he did right then.

After a while, Dee got out of the car, locking it behind him, and went up the steps to the door. He figured it would be locked by now, yet still he tried the knob. When it didn�t give, he reached for the black button at the side.

�Yes?� came a voice through a crackle of electric.

�It�s me. Dee.�

A small buzz sounded immediately, and the dark haired man was able to turn the handle and open the door. He stepped inside, closing it with a click, and began to walk down the empty corridor. The tap of his boots landed a bit differently than when he had marched down the hallway at the apartment. Whether it was because of a subconscious respect or he was just to damn spent to expend the same energy, they didn�t have the snap of the enraged man he was a while ago.

Before he managed to get halfway down the hallway, Dee heard the soft tapping of someone else�s footfalls, and soon saw a figure making their way down the steps that he was headed toward. Both met at the bottom nearly at the same time.

�Dee?� the female�s voice questioned with concerned seeing the young man before her with apparent turmoil on his face. �Is everything alright? Has something happened?�

He could no longer hold the older woman�s gaze, and he dropped his lashes over his eyes to hide the pain in his soul. His head fell forward, and turned to the side. Opening his mouth, Dee tried to speak but nothing seemed to come out. He used his hands as if to help direct his voice outward by their gestures, but still there was nothing. The burning sensation behind his lids began to weld up again as did one which clinched his throat shut.

Cracking his eyes open was like turning a key in a lock. He could feel his hands start to shake, and a flooding wetness started racing down his cheeks. Next thing he knew, he fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around the thickened waist of Mother �Penguin�. His tears soaked into the terry cloth robe she wore, and his cries muffled against it as well. Withered hands came up around the child that she had watched grow into a fine man, giving what comfort she could.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of Part 3 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hong Mee: I thank you for your reviews. I appreciate that even though it wasn�t something you expected that you were aware that it was warned about reading it. Thanks so much for your support and I hope your journey with it will be worth your suspense.

Someone Out There and Raining_like_tears: Thanks for your grand words of support. And, someone out there, some of those things I couldn�t say better. Took me a whole page to write what you kind of did in a couple paragraphs.

Devi: Thank you for your comment on the writing. I appreciate comments like that. I�ve always worried about how my writing would come across to people, and I know I can ramble on giving detail a lot at times, but it�s nice when someone understands what it is I�m writing.

Muyoluv20: I�m glad that it�s got you biting that banana�hahaha.

Xzanayu: I know I didn�t give much of a hint, but it is there in Chapter one at the bottom. And I know it�s difficult to understand, but it would throw the whole story if I gave more. Glad that you want to read more.
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Portrait Without Sin