Silver Tinted Love

Yay, I\'m back everybody. sorry for the delay to my \"hopefully\" loyal readers. Wish I had some reviews so I could write some shout outs to all the lovely people who actually read this^^ Well anyway, High School\'s been rather hectic, not to mention getting ready for going away for a year this august and I\'ve been working on my novel. Yet I have not forgotten you!! And I\'m almost done this story. Just have to finish that last couple chapters.^^ So enjoy.

Warnings for the chapter: YAOI SCENE (m/m) nothing THAT graphic but still semi graphic so if you don\'t like it, please skip the entire first section. or just leave now. Also, language, violence, attempted n/c, and massive naiveity.


Chapter 3:


Ruwalk wept. His head was on the desk as he sobbed. He couldn’t take it anymore, he just couldn’t. How could he be expected to run things when he couldn’t eat? When he couldn’t sit still? When he hadn’t slept once since it all had happened. Not one blessed hour of sleep. Not one!! How could they expect him to do all of this? How could Ruwalk look after the palace, run the duties of the lord who was so gravely wounded, protect the people, give orders to the limited number that was left? Damn it, he couldn’t do this anymore!


And what was worse, now the dragon knights were gone. Tetheus was right of course. They couldn’t last much longer. So the knights were going for Kainaldia to try and defeat Nadil. Which meant that three of the best fighters were now gone. Which meant that if they failed, everyone was doomed. And Ruwalk couldn’t help but feel that it was all his fault.

I can’t do this! I just can’t! God I can’t run this place! Not like this! Its all too much. I can’t have everyone depend on me, its too much pressure. God no wonder Alfeegi was always in a bad mood!

Ruwalk stopped. He lifted his head slightly, cheeks damp with tears. Alfeegi…More tears came to his eyes as he thought about the former White Dragon Officer. He had always been frightened of Alfeegi. When he went off, even Lykouleon was terrified of Alfeegi. Alfeegi was dangerous when pissed. But that fear was just a front.

Ruwalk loved Alfeegi. He adored him. Everything about Alfeegi Ruwalk loved and cherished. He was intoxicating. Sometimes, Ruwalk would purposely mess up just so he could see the way Alfeegi’s eyes glistened when he was in a rage. Ruwalk loved it when his eyes did that. Of course, he had never said anything about it. Like Alfeegi was going to believe him if Ruwalk told him that he loved him so much it hurt, wanted to nail him like there was no tomorrow, wanted to keep him forever. Yeah he was really going to tell him that. So Ruwalk simply kept it to himself. Fantasized about him and Alfeegi together at night…or during the day…or any other time for that matter. Ruwalk was going to tell him, eventually. He just had to wait for the right time.

Now Alfeegi was dead. Rath had killed him. No. Nadil had killed him using Rath. Ruwalk had been there to see him at least one more time. Not that it did Ruwalk any good; Alfeegi was long dead before he could return with the doctor. Damn! If only Ruwalk had stayed beside him for a little longer! He could have told Alfeegi everything before it was too late. Ruwalk could’ve confessed and at least give him one final kiss goodbye before he left him forever.

“But I couldn’t! God, why didn’t I stay! Why didn’t I tell you before that I loved you, Alfeegi!?” Ruwalk wailed. He rammed his fist into the desk. “God I miss you so fucking much, its killing me Alfeegi. I just want to see you again…I just want to hold you and tell you, just once, how much I really love you. God, I’ll give anything…”

The door opened. Ruwalk’s head snapped up. For a moment, he begged that his wish was true. Pegasus stood in the doorway, his young face stoic as it always was. Yet different. Ruwalk couldn’t put his finger on it. He was somewhat angry at himself. He must’ve looked like a complete wreck. Trying to straighten himself, Ruwalk brushed the tears away with his sleeves. Pegasus merely stood, attentive and yet somewhat dazed.

“Yes? Is something wrong Pegasus?” Ruwalk asked. He tried to get the despair out of his voice. He was failing miserably. Pegasus said nothing. His slender body leaned against the doorframe. Those eyes. They stared into nothingness. Ruwalk felt suddenly nervous, came around the desk and took a few steps closer. “Pegasus? Are you alright? You look ill.”

The door suddenly shut. Actually, it slammed. Ruwalk couldn’t stop himself from jumping from it. True he had only known the boy for a few days but such a quick and rather violent act was not something he expected. Ruwalk was about to say something but wasn’t fast enough. Pegasus stormed quickly up to him. His eyes were ablaze, a very familiar blaze. Were those eyes always orange tinted? Did his hair always have to greenish blue sheen?

“You idiot!” Pegasus yelled. “You baka, you moron, you bastard!!!” He screeched. This definitely wasn’t Pegasus. Ruwalk was worried, what if the boy was ill? Or worse, possessed. He made dangerous steps closer to him; Ruwalk stumbled over his feet and fell back into the chair. Pegasus slammed his fist on the desk.

“P…Pegasus???” Ruwalk stammered.

“Shut up!! God what the hell is wrong with you!? Tears?! There’s no time for tears! You have a job to do! Now suck it up and do your fucking job! They’re depending on you!” Pegasus snapped. Those eyes were definitely orange. And glistening in a way that made the boy so intoxicating, it was overpowering. A…Alfeegi?

“Alfeegi?” Ruwalk asked softly. New tears brimmed on his eyes. Pegasus’ enraged eyes softened. He sat on the desk and smiled softly at him. It was a rare smile, one Ruwalk felt blessed to see again. “How…Is it really you?”

“Why are you crying over me Ruwalk?” Pegasus’ asked. Ruwalk could see Alfeegi’s eyes, his hair. God it was even Alfeegi’s voice coming through those pale and thin lips. “I’m not worth crying over. Don’t cry over me. Just do your job.”

“What do you mean you’re not worth it!?” Ruwalk demanded. He didn’t want to cry but he was going to. “Of course you‘re worth it!!”

“Oh Ruwalk…everyone’s probably happier that I’m gone…I wasn’t much of a fighter. I got killed in less than a minute. No
one even liked me very much. You could tell, I was so high-strung and always yelling…they must be happy I’m gone…”

“NO!” Ruwalk yelled. His arms wrapped tightly around the boy’s small body. Alfeegi let out a surprised gasp. Ruwalk buried his tearstained face in his shoulder. “I hate that you’re gone!! Hate it, hate it, hate it!! God, I never wanted you to go away! I love you Alfeegi, I always have!! God don’t ever think that no one loved you!!”

“You…You loved me…” Alfeegi said softly. There was a strange tone to his voice.

“Yes…I love you Alfeegi. God I love you so much it hurts that I can’t have you…” Ruwalk whimpered. Alfeegi smiled slightly. There were tears in his eyes as well. Ruwalk looked up at him then pulled his lips down to claim in a hot kiss. “I’ve wanted you so much…so very much…”

“Well…that’s part of the reason why I’m here Ruwalk.” He said softly. “I missed you as well…I was never very open about my feelings. I should’ve been. I’m sorry I caused you so much grief, Ruwalk.”

“Don’t apologize…its not your fault, Alfeegi. It never was.” Ruwalk said. There was something he wanted to do. But…But he couldn’t. Just couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not unless Alfeegi wanted it. Alfeegi must have been reading his mind. He pushed Ruwalk back into the chair and sat lightly on his lap. “Alfeegi?”

“I know what you’ve wanted…I’ve always known.” Ruwalk blushed at that. Alfeegi rested his head against Ruwalk’s heart and whispered gently. “Please Ruwalk…just once. I want it too. I can’t stay long…just once. Please?”

Ruwalk answered with a hot kiss. His tongue pushed its way past Alfeegi’s lips and teeth. He finally got to taste the sweetness of him. It was so good. Relishing the taste, he pulled Alfeegi closer. Alfeegi was enjoying it; his arms wrapped around Ruwalk’s shoulders and he accepted the kiss warmly. The kiss lasted so long, long after both felt the desire to breathe. Ruwalk finally broke it. He looked around for a moment while Alfeegi panted. There was a couch in the corner. It would do wonderfully.

It was almost like time sped up. Ruwalk couldn’t remember exactly how he ended up on top of Alfeegi on the couch, kissing and caressing like there really was no tomorrow. They held one another and kissed, caressed, did whatever they needed to do to fill that emptiness that had been in them both. Both of them knew where this was going to lead but did nothing but kiss. Like they were trying to lie to themselves and each other. But the void and the desire weren’t going to remain silent for much longer.

The desire and arousal broke through. Rushed like a flood through their bodies and souls. Too much, it was far too much to hold back. They were practically tearing each other’s clothes off in an effort to get to their goal. It was so fast, time was moving so fast. A blur that was ecstasy, that was bliss that they hoped would never end.

Ruwalk stared down at his bare Alfeegi. Straddling him, Ruwalk’s eyes passed over every inch of the White Dragon Officer’s body, drinking it all in. He was so beautiful. Thin, pale, smooth. In a word, perfect. Alfeegi lay back on the soft fabric of the couch, open, waiting. There was a faint blush on his face. A loving look in his orange eyes. Ruwalk wanted this. He had always wanted this. And yet…And yet he couldn’t go through with it. He faltered. Ruwalk was suddenly too nervous to make love to the one person he truly adored. Was this what Alfeegi really wanted? Was he going to hurt him?

Alfeegi had noticed. Slowly, his legs spread, letting Ruwalk settle between them. He chuckled somewhat at the embarrassed look on his face. Alfeegi’s arms wrapped about Ruwalk. Those eyes…they spoke to him. “Do not question it. Just do it.” Ruwalk nodded slowly. As you wish.

They kissed again. But shorter this time for as they kissed, Ruwalk managed to push a finger or two into his thin love. Alfeegi was the one who broke the kiss, gasping in pleasure and perhaps a slight pain. Ruwalk stretched him to the best of his ability. Fingers gripped Ruwalk’s skin; it felt so good. He retracted his fingers and kissed Alfeegi once more. Their tongues slipped into each other’s mouths just before Ruwalk slammed into him.

Alfeegi moans were fuel to the fire. The more noise he made, the harder Ruwalk wanted to go. He pushed as hard and as fast as he could into his Alfeegi. It was so wonderful. So hot and tight. Ruwalk loved it. This was definitely how he dreamed of losing his virginity. Making love to Alfeegi.

They made love for so long. Exchanging fiery kisses amid thrusts, moans, and cries of pain and pleasure. Alfeegi’s body finally just could not take it. His seed spilled all over himself and Ruwalk. It was warm, sticky. God, Ruwalk loved the feel of it. Ruwalk released soon after, spilling into Alfeegi. He gave one more cry of pleasure at feeling Ruwalk fill him. Both fell silent. Ruwalk slumped to the side somewhat, pulled out and rested. His chest rose and fell in quick gasps. Alfeegi panted. Sweat dribbled down his skin; Ruwalk’s arms slid along it as he held him. A couple quick kisses were placed on Alfeegi’s back.

“…Alfeegi…my Alfeegi, I love you…” Ruwalk whispered. Alfeegi smiled and rolled over so that now he was straddling Ruwalk on the soaked couch.

“I love you as well Ruwalk. With all my heart.” Alfeegi whispered back. Ruwalk’s hands made their way across him. One hand held the small of the White Dragon Officer’s back. The other cupped his cheek. Alfeegi nuzzled it happily. “So wonderful…really it was.”

“Yes, utterly wonderful.” Ruwalk murmured in awe. He kissed him softly. “So much like you.” Alfeegi smiled. It was almost sad. “What’s wrong Alfeegi?”

“I told you I couldn’t stay long. Time’s almost up.” Alfeegi sighed. Ruwalk felt anguish pull at his heart again. “But at least we got to be together, once.”

“No, No Alfeegi don’t talk like that!” Ruwalk begged. His grip around Alfeegi tightened. It hurt him somewhat. “Please, don’t go!”
“I don’t have a choice Ruwalk. I was only granted a little time. Now I must go.” Alfeegi brushed some hair from Ruwalk’s face. Ruwalk’s eyes flowed with tears.

“No, please. Don’t leave me again Alfeegi. Not again. I won’t be able to do this again.” Ruwalk wept. Alfeegi looked down at him sadly. He kissed the flesh of Ruwalk’s collarbone gently. “A…Alfeegi…”

“I’m sorry Ruwalk. I don’t want to go away…but I must. But…” He looked up at Ruwalk with a vague smile. “If all goes well, there will still be a chance for you and I. For everyone. But for now I must go back. Now no more tears Ruwalk. You need to be strong for the Lord. He needs to know that you are doing your best.”

“But…but…” Ruwalk stammered. Alfeegi kissed the still falling tears away.

“I mean it Ruwalk, no more tears.” Alfeegi insisted. Ruwalk wiped them away.

“I’m trying, Alfeegi…” Ruwalk sighed. He looked longingly into Alfeegi’s eyes. They looked a little different now. “Do you mean it…that there’s a chance?”

“Of course I mean it.” Alfeegi smirked. Ruwalk smiled a little. “Now cheer up and do your job.”

“…I’ll try.”

“You damn well better.” Alfeegi said. They kissed one more; it was slightly weaker. Alfeegi seemed to tired. His head rested on Ruwalk’s chest, breathing somewhat heavily. “…Ruwalk?”

“Yes?”

“…Take care of the child…Kai-stern was right, we will need him…” said Alfeegi softly. Ruwalk’s eyes closed and he played with Alfeegi’s hair. It was different. “Ruwalk…”

“I will.” Ruwalk insisted. Alfeegi thanked him quietly then silence. Ruwalk was tired as well and rested somewhat. This was so wonderful, just lying there with Alfeegi on his chest. So wonderful. Don’t let it end. Don’t let this end.

The body on him went cold. It was suddenly like ice. Ruwalk spazzed, forcing himself away from whatever was so cold against his bare skin. Ruwalk’s eyes darted quickly about the room as he sat upon the carpeted floor. What had been so cold against him? Silver hair tickled Ruwalk’s bare shoulder. How had that gotten there? A thin, limp hand dangled off the couch. Ruwalk as almost terrified to look back. Pegasus’ body hung halfway off the soaked couch. His sweat covered hair dangled over his feverish looking face. And what was worse, he wasn’t dressed.

“Shit!” Ruwalk cried. He backed himself as far away as he could, bumping his back into the desk. He grasped his heart, panting. Frightened. How the hell did Pegasus end up naked on the couch?! Hadn’t it been Alfeegi there just a moment ago?? Ruwalk’s skin grew steadily paler as he covered his trembling lips with his hand. He hadn’t, had he? Oh Deus…was I hallucinating? Was I going insane, dreaming of Alfeegi but…raping him? Oh shit, what have I done!

In a daze, Ruwalk pulled his pants back onto his body. How could he have been so confused that he mistook Pegasus for the dead Alfeegi? How could he be so engrossed in his own illusion that he couldn’t hear the pleas the boy probably shouted? Timid, he crawled quietly over to Pegasus. He breathed heavily, coughed but those eyes remained closed. Ruwalk hesitated before brushing the hair from the boy’s face; he still didn’t stir. In a trance, he found Pegasus’ clothes and dressed him, trying his hardest not to startle or waken the boy. He had just finished pulling the boy’s pants back on when Ruwalk realized that those empty eyes were watching him. Ruwalk pulled away. God what have I done? Ruwalk waited for the boy to start screaming for aid.

Nothing. Pegasus remained calm, as he always did. Breathing heavily, he watched Ruwalk with his weird eyes. With a little trouble Pegasus pushed himself up onto the couch. He tried to push himself to a seated position but was far too tired and simply resolved to resting on the soaked and sticky couch. What truly surprised Ruwalk was that there was a vague smile on Pegasus’ lips and in his eyes. Ruwalk went back to him. There was still distance between them but they were closer.

“…Pegasus…” Ruwalk spoke after long moments of awkward silence. Pegasus’ bare chest rose and fell in quick gasps. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over to me. I know that doesn’t excuse rape but-”

“Ruwalk…” interrupted Pegasus. His voice sounded weak, sickly. Ruwalk was taken back by it. “Don’t apologize…” Pegasus smiled softly. “There’s no need for it…”

“But…But I raped you!” Ruwalk yelled. His arms wrapped around himself to control his own trembling. Pegasus listened. “God I must have been so overcome with grief that I thought that you…that you…” Ruwalk wanted to vomit. Pegasus forced himself to sit. The boy doubled over and trembled. Ruwalk rested his hand on the boy’s back. “God I’m sorry Pegasus…”

“Don’t be…” Pegasus insisted. The boy trembled more. His skin. Before it was like ice. Now it was hot silk, liquid burning silk. “Rape…means no consent…I gave…c...consent….” Pegasus whimpered. His body caved and Ruwalk just barely caught him before the child’s head hit the floor. Stupid boy! How naïve are you!? How could you have given consent!! As though Pegasus could read his thoughts, he looked up weakly from Ruwalk’s lap. “…Are…Are you…happy…now?…I…I just wanted…to make you and Alfeegi….happy sir…” His voice grew steadily weaker till it silenced. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he simply laid there, unconscious in Ruwalk’s lap.

Confusion overtook Ruwalk. He couldn’t help himself from being confused. Happy? Pegasus wanted him to be happy? He didn’t care? What the hell was going on? And now the boy was unconscious, his skin on fire, feverish. He finished putting Pegasus’ clothes back on; the boy was easy to move. Then dressed himself. Pegasus panted in his arms. Why oh why did Avis have to leave? Well, Ruwalk might as well care of the boy himself. Carrying him, Ruwalk made his way to Kai-stern’s old room. He was so confused now but perhaps when the boy woke, he would be able to understand. And, although Ruwalk would not say it out loud, Ruwalk had enjoyed that moment. …God what the hell is wrong with me!

*-----*-----*

In the furthest reaches of the mind of the Purity was what they called “The Waiting Place.” It was the void where the soul of the Purity waited for whatever was to happen to happen. The place where they predicted, the place where they controlled, the place where their souls rested. And in Pegasus’ case, the place where he dreamed of days long past. The place where he could converse with the forests and nature. And the place where Pegasus could converse with those who could pass through him.

Which was where he was now. His paled essence, taking the form of his human body, roused somewhat from its sleep. His soul always woke before his body. Pegasus sat patiently in the waiting place. Something was going to happen, he just wasn’t sure what.

He went over what had transpired before. Alfeegi had come to him and begged him for control of his body, just once. And Pegasus agreed. Anything to make the others happy. Using Pegasus’ body, Alfeegi and Ruwalk were able to share a moment of pure bliss that they had missed in life. They were happy. Yet Alfeegi could not control Pegasus’ body for long and was rather quickly stripped from him, parting with advice and hopeful words that he shared with Ruwalk. Pegasus’ soul re-inhabited his body but a little too late. For only a few seconds, he was dead. His body had been like pure ice. Which meant now he was very ill and weak.

And what was worse, Ruwalk believed that he had raped Pegasus. This was hardly the case. Pegasus had given consent, letting Alfeegi use him as the vessel so Alfeegi and Ruwalk could have the moment they had missed during life. There had been no rape. So Pegasus sat, waiting patiently in the waiting place for whomever had called him, contemplating.

“Pegasus?” A voice called to him. Pegasus turned about to its source. Alfeegi, the White Dragon Officer, stared down at him. The normally blazing orange eyes were soft, caring and happy. He smiled at Pegasus, brushing his bluish-green ponytail back behind him. Pegasus made to stand. “Don’t. Sitting works just as well.” Alfeegi sat across from him cross-legged.

“Why have you called me here?” Pegasus asked him softly.

“I wanted to thank you.” Alfeegi said. He put a gentle, appreciative hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You don’t how much that meant to me. To be able to see him again. To be with him, just once. Thank you so much.”

“There’s no need to thank me, Alfeegi sir.” Pegasus replied. “I was happy to do it. I wanted you both to be happy.” Alfeegi looked at him, a strange look of shock plastered on the dead man’s face. Had Pegasus said something wrong? “Is something wrong, Alfeegi sir?”

“How can you say that? You gave up your virginity for me. How can you ask me not to thank you for such a thing?” Alfeegi asked. Pegasus could hear the desperation in his voice.

“…It was consensual. You and Ruwalk wanted and I consented for my body to be the vessel. I willingly allowed you into my body, willingly let you take control of me. My body took on your characteristics and traits. So in a way my body became yours, for you to do with as you wished. There was no rape involved, it was entirely consensual.” Pegasus explained.

“I never said that it wasn’t consensual. You haven’t answered my question.” Alfeegi scowled a bit. “How can you ask me not to thank you? You gave up your virginity so I could have one night with Ruwalk. You gave up your innocence to a stranger! How can you tell me not to thank you after sacrificing that for me!?” Alfeegi was very scary when he was angry. Pegasus shrank back a little bit, sighing quietly to himself. This was going to be hard to explain. He tried to put it simply.

“But I haven’t given anything up. My innocence is still intact, Alfeegi sir. My virginity isn‘t gone.” Pegasus explained.

“…I don’t understand. How can that be?” Alfeegi asked. Pegasus felt somewhat uncomfortable. How was he to explain this? Suppose it\'s better just to come out and say it.

“I…I am a Purity, Alfeegi sir.” Pegasus said. “I have not sacrificed anything. As long as it is consensual, my virginity cannot be lost. It will never be lost. Only through rape or sodomy could my innocence ever be taken. If I give consent, I can give it to whomever and whenever I wish. And then my body will revert, as though the act had never happened.” Pegasus elaborated in a soft voice.

Alfeegi listened in a respectful silence. He had shifted during Pegasus’ explanation. One leg was tucked underneath him and the other was bent at the knee. An elbow rested on that knee, thoughtful as his fingers rested lightly on his lips. Alfeegi must have understood. He nodded slightly. Pegasus stared down at his hands for a moment. He felt strange. In truth, Pegasus should have lost his virginity many times. But because he had given consent, he did not. And Pegasus barely remembered the acts. True, his body was sore from them. But he could only remember one time…just one.

The silence was starting worry him. He kept looking at Pegasus strangely. Pegasus did not like the gaze; it felt like he was searching him. Why oh why did Pegasus always have to confess? Alfeegi must have thought that Pegasus was some sort of whore. But in a way, wasn’t that all he was? A whore to be used for sex, power, and prediction? He always gave consent because the Purity in him longed for everyone to be happy. That desire was the driving force in his life. To make everyone happy, no matter what it meant. He had had sex many times. Some times were far more painful than others, his body still had the markings of some of his sexual encounters. But he had given consent to them. He wanted them to be happy. Even if that made him miserable. And despite the pleasant and respectful disposition and the vague smiles he gave off, Pegasus was truly miserable.

“My god…” Alfeegi murmured. Pegasus waited for whatever he was going to say. He didn’t expect Alfeegi’s soft hands to cup his cheeks and lift his face. “You must be the most miserable creature I have ever met…” His eyes were soft, his face sad and filled with empathy. Pegasus said nothing.

Suddenly, he felt dirty. As though he was never pure to begin with. His body ached at the memory of old times, times when he could barely remember what had happened except that he had had sex with someone to make them happy. It had been that way for years, since he had been a boy. Still he gave consent. Perhaps I am just a whore…I just want to make people happy…my position won’t let me care about the price. As long as it made them happy. He felt filthy and wrung his hands subconsciously. Alfeegi must have noticed the sad look in his eyes.

“Why do you look so sad now, Pegasus?” Alfeegi asked. Pegasus trembled. “Pegasus, why?”

“…I feel dirty, sir…” Pegasus admitted. The desire to cry almost overtook him but he held his tears in check. Alfeegi looked into his closed eyes. “I…I have given consent…so many times…I can’t even remember…” He sniffled a bit.

“…You poor thing.” Alfeegi said softly. Pegasus opened his eyes and looked up at him like the child he truly was. “God, you are miserable, aren’t you? How can’t you be? You’ve given up your own happiness for everyone else’s.” I suppose that’s how it is. “Has anyone even thanked you before? Has anyone even told you they loved you?”

Pegasus thought about. In his entire 15 years of life, only a few people had ever done things like that. Nature always treated him with kindness, sheltering him and aiding him when he asked for it. Tetheus had protected him. Ruwalk showed him compassion and concern, allowed him to stay in the palace. Alfeegi had thanked him for letting him use his body and gave him sympathy. And Kai-stern…Kai-stern had told him that he had loved him. So few…

“…Only a few, sir…” Pegasus told him. A tear threatened to fall. Alfeegi brushed it away.

“Don’t cry now.” Alfeegi cooed. One of his hands smoothed the silver strands that were still somewhat messy from Ruwalk’s fingers. Pegasus felt himself tremble more at the kind treatment. “You don’t have to cry…”

“I…I’m sorry, Alfeegi sir…” Pegasus squeaked. There was an awful lump in his throat that he tried to force down.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Alfeegi told him. “But there’s no need to cry. Ruwalk will be kind to you, I’m sure of it.” Pegasus nodded slowly. Ruwalk would be very kind to him. And if Pegasus could convince him that it wasn’t rape, it would be much easier for Ruwalk to stay around him. Yet, Pegasus felt empty. He wanted Kai-stern to be beside him, to hold him as he had done before. To hear Kai-stern say that he loved him. To be with Kai-stern again.

Or Rath. Pegasus knew, long before he had even met Rath, that he was in love with Rath as well. Kai-stern had told him many things about the red eyed, black haired man and almost instantly did Pegasus feel the same affection and longing that he felt towards Kai-stern. It made him come to a conclusion. That one could possibly be in love with two at the same moment. That one could have two “soul mates” as Kai-stern had called them.

Pegasus’ musing broke when Alfeegi’s arms wrapped around his tiny frame, drawing him into a warm embrace. He rested his head on Pegasus‘. Pegasus looked up at him strangely.

“…You miss him?” Alfeegi asked. Pegasus blinked. Was the White Dragon Officer a mind reader? Or was the grief in him that easy to see? “Do you miss Kai-stern?” Pegasus nodded timidly.

“How…How do you-” Pegasus whimpered softly. There was a shameful blush on Alfeegi’s face.

“I admit it. In an effort to figure out what the hell Kai-stern spent that extra money on, I snooped.” Alfeegi sighed. “I ran across Kai-stern’s journal…he spoke quite highly of you and Rath. Quite often as well.” Kai-stern had a journal?

“He had a journal?” Pegasus asked. Alfeegi nodded. I didn’t know that… “So…you know? You knew?”

“I did. Never really got around to asking Kai-stern about it. But he seemed to love you both.” Equally. But I don’t think he told Rath about me… Pegasus nodded slowly. Something pulled at him and he felt tired. “Pegasus? Are you alright?”

“Mhm…” Pegasus slumped. Alfeegi helped him so that he lay softly on the ground on the waiting place. “Alfeegi, sir? …Am I going to see you again?”

“From what I’ve figured out when you let me in, I’m certain of it.” Alfeegi said. Pegasus nodded, another vague unhappy smile on his face.

“…I look forward to it…” Pegasus said softly, allowing his eyes to close. Alfeegi’s hand was still gently caressing his hair and Pegasus was happy to know that someone else cared about him. Pegasus began to open his eyes to see Alfeegi and thank him. His lashes fluttered. A familiar ceiling greeted him, sunlight dancing with its shadows. It surprised him; he sat upright. A little too quickly. Vertigo claimed his senses and forced Pegasus to lay back down.

“Pegasus, good you’re awake.” Ruwalk sighed. He sat on the edge of his bed. There were bags under his worried eyes and his hair was rather messy. Pegasus guessed that he hadn’t slept again. “Are you alright?”

“Yes sir…” Pegasus coughed. His voice sounded so much weaker than it had when he was speaking with Alfeegi in the waiting place. Something cool graced his forehead; Pegasus welcomed it, sighing somewhat to have something to make his burning skin feel cold. “Are…are you well, Ruwalk sir?”

“You should be more worried about yourself.” Ruwalk sighed. “That fever is just starting to break…” Pegasus nodded. He did feel a little better than he had before. Not much, but a little.

“You look like you haven’t slept…Ruwalk sir…” Pegasus said. Ruwalk’s eyes met his. There was a sadness, exhaustion, in them.

“I didn’t…” Ruwalk admitted. “I haven’t slept for a while.”

“But you should, Ruwalk sir. Alfeegi will be upset if you don’t.” Pegasus told him. Ruwalk looked at him. He smiled the ghost of a smile at Pegasus’ childish words. He patted Pegasus’ head a bit.

“…I’m sorry Pegasus, truly I am.” Ruwalk sighed. “I didn’t mean to do that to you…”

“Ruwalk please…there is nothing to be sorry for…” Pegasus insisted. “I gave consent, nothing has changed.”

“God don’t be so naïve Pegasus.” Ruwalk sighed angrily. “We had sex…I raped you…God how could I have been so deluded.”

“Ruwalk…”

“God I can’t believe I did that to you.”

“Ruwalk.”

“How could I let it get so far?”

“Ruwalk sir!!” Pegasus hadn’t meant to scream it but he had to get Ruwalk’s attention. Ruwalk blinked as Pegasus started to cough. Straining his voice was not good for him. But it worked. Ruwalk was looking at him, quiet and waiting for him to stop coughing. “Please, Ruwalk sir…believe me that nothing bad has happened. I swear it…”

“God, how can you say that?”

And Pegasus began his explanation. The same explanation that he gave to Alfeegi. Pegasus told Ruwalk how he was a Purity. How he had given consent for Alfeegi to use his body and how he took on Alfeegi’s characteristics and traits. He explained how because of the consent, Ruwalk was wrong to think that he had raped Pegasus. And that Pegasus had lost nothing. His virginity and innocence were still intact. Ruwalk still sat on the edge of his bed, a look of confusion and vague understanding controlling his features. Pegasus finally quieted, his voice too hoarse to continue. He waited to see what Ruwalk was going to say or do. Curious.

He smiled. It was a relieved, happy smile. Gently, he pulled another sheet over Pegasus’ trembling body. He watched Ruwalk move with slow eyes, feeling tired again. Pegasus nuzzled his hand for a moment as Ruwalk smoothed the boy’s hair. Ruwalk chuckled softly.

“You’re a strange little thing.” Ruwalk said. “A Purity, huh? I’ve only heard of them briefly…so you did that, for us? You let Alfeegi use you?”

“Yes Ruwalk sir…” Pegasus answered.

“Well thank you…I’m still sorry though. I can’t help it…I feel like I’ve still done something wrong.”

“Please don’t…”

“Rest. You look tired. Sleep.” Ruwalk insisted. “You’ll get better faster.” Ruwalk did not have to tell him twice. Even before Ruwalk managed to bid Pegasus a pleasant rest and left, Pegasus was already half way asleep. Dreaming about times before.

*-----*-----*

Pegasus waited anxiously in the room they had at the inn in the city whose name Pegasus couldn’t remember. Night had painted the city in pretty shadows but Pegasus didn’t have time to enjoy them. Kai-stern wasn’t back yet. He said he would return before night but night had fallen over an hour ago. Trembling, Pegasus found that he couldn’t sit still and paced about the room for an hour. Where was Kai-stern? He waited by the window, on the bed, on the chair. He was far too anxious.

Finally, Pegasus left their warm room of the inn and walked carefully down the stairs. The clerk behind the desk eyed him for a moment; Pegasus gave him a soft smile. The clerk smiled back at him.

“Looking for him?” he asked. Pegasus nodded.

“Yes sir.” Pegasus said as he went out into the dark night. Kai-stern and Pegasus had been traveling for almost a month together; he was true to his word, Pegasus didn’t have to go back. But he had to come up with some sort of story to explain why he was traveling with such a young boy. So Kai-stern had said that Pegasus was his son at each and every inn they stayed at. And they all believed him.

Pegasus wandered along the dark streets, looking for Kai-stern. He hoped that Kai-stern was alright. He had done so much for Pegasus over the last month and if something happened to him, Pegasus would just die. During the last month, Pegasus learned more about the world and life than during his entire life. Kai-stern taught him so many things (and Pegasus was a quick study). He learned about Draqueen and the Dragon Castle where he was the Blue Dragon Officer. He learned about the Dragon Clan, their abilities, and their responsibilities. He now knew about the other cities, the other races, and various subjects, including philosophy which he truly enjoyed. And Pegasus taught Kai-stern the little things he knew about his heritage and his abilities. Kai-stern found those quite fascinating.

“Kai-stern, where are you?” Pegasus said to himself quietly. A group of girls watched him as he passed and giggled. A couple made a few interesting comments. Catcalls was what Kai-stern called them. Pegasus had been getting a lot of those. It was very awkward to hear them. It didn’t help that Kai-stern refused to divulge what the phrases actually meant. And it didn’t help that it wasn’t just the women who were calling those things to him. Men of various ages called to him as well. It was confusing, awkward and unwanted. But Kai-stern had always been there, gripping Pegasus’ arm in a soft but tight hold to keep them at bay.

But Kai-stern wasn’t here now and Pegasus had to walk the dark streets alone, listening to the catcalls with a tinge of fear. Pegasus passed a group of men, all about Kai-stern’s age. Or at least they appeared to be. Kai-stern was far older than he looked. They smiled and leered at him, calling little things to him. Pegasus smiled vaguely nervous and walked past a little quicker. Those eyes, those men had hungry eyes. Eyes looking at him like he was a rare dessert. They followed him; Pegasus looked over his shoulder a little to confirm it. He tried to stop being nervous but he couldn’t and sped up again. They matched his pace, their footfalls heavy on the ground. Pegasus practically ran, trying his hardest to find Kai-stern so that he could feel his protective grip on his arm. Someone grabbed him from behind. Forced him back into a wide yet shadowed alley and painful up against the grimy wall.

“Well, well.” The one who held him against the wall smirked. “What do we have here? I’ve never seen you wandering the streets before? Are you new?”

“Y-Yes sir…” Pegasus squeaked. The man grinned. In the darkness, Pegasus could not see the features of his face. But he could see the bright teeth that gleamed at him. There was a rush of snickering around him. He couldn’t see the features of the other men around him.

“Well, aren’t we lucky? To have such a beautiful thing walking our streets.” The man cooed. Rough and callused fingers caressed Pegasus’ jaw. “Isn’t he a pretty little thing, guys?”

“Oh very pretty, boss.” The one to Pegasus’ left laughed.

“Exceptionally pretty.” The one to the right smirked.

“Extremely pretty.” A third said.

“Perfectly pretty.” The one before him sighed, drawing Pegasus’ attention back to him. “That’s what you are, perfectly pretty. Such a lovely little creature. Do you have a name, my pretty little thing?”

“Ye…Yes sir…” Pegasus squeaked again. The man was examining him, not only with his eyes but with his hands. While the one callused and rough hand fingered the pale skin of his jaw, the other moved along his shoulder, feeling the lithe body underneath the clothes. Pegasus trembled as the fingers moved down his arm then chest. His trembling reached its peak before the hand clasped Pegasus’ thin and narrow hip. “It…Its P-Pegasus…”

“Such a lovely name, for an equally lovely guy, right boys?” The man said. They agreed, laughing and jeering a little bit. The fingers continued their rough caressing. Pegasus blushed but it wasn’t the same. Not the same blush that tinted his porcelain cheeks when Kai-stern smiled at him or taught him. Not the same blush that came when Kai-stern steered him through the crowd by the arm or bailed him out of the trouble that seemed to follow Pegasus everywhere he went. Not the same blush he got when he watched Kai-stern laugh, or sleep, or pout, or glower, or reminisce about Rath. This felt wrong. He flushed with embarrassment, mortified that this strange man was handling him in such a way. Touching him in such a way that made Pegasus feel burning and freezing at the exact same moment.

Pegasus hadn’t realized that while he mused, they were still talking. Commenting on how lovely he was and how lucky they were. Lucky? How were these strangers lucky?

“So tell me, lovely Pegasus, how much are you?” The man asked. Pegasus blinked strangely. How much? As in a cost? Pegasus was even more confused than before. People could cost? They could have a value? A weight in coin?

“I…I didn’t know that I cost anything…” Pegasus managed to choke out. This got roar of laughter from the men around him. “I…I don’t think I cost anything…do I?” The man’s teeth gleamed brightly.

“Lucky us. Lucky, lucky us.” The man laughed. “Not just a cutie but a free one too. This will be fun, won’t it boys?”

“Oh very fun.”

“Yeah. He’ll definitely be worth it.”

“He’d be worth any amount, right boss?”

“Most definitely. Most of them here, not much to look at. Not a whole lot of fun either and yet it costs you a frigging mint. But you, hehe. A cutie who doesn’t cost a cent. And you look like a lot of fun too.” The man said. His tongue licked his lips slightly. Pegasus almost instantly thought a serpent searching for its prey. “So let’s get started shall we?” Pegasus felt himself being drawn closer. It took a lot of strength to pull his hand out of the man’s grip and put distance between his lips and the stranger’s.

“What…What are you doing?”

“Heh, what do you think? Now don’t be shy. It won’t hurt, well not that much.” The man insisted.

Pegasus didn’t get the chance to beg for a real answer. He fell victim to a hot and bruising kiss that forced him up against the man’s chest. Struggling to breathe, he pushed against him as best he could. The man pushed Pegasus against the wall, roughly and knocking the wind out of his lungs. He eventually managed to break the kiss, gasped and panted. The man smirked and drew him in for another.

Now Pegasus wanted to run. To run away from these men. To run as far and as fast as his legs could possibly carry him until he ran into the safety that he had come to know as Kai-stern. But he couldn’t. The hand on his waist was tight. Pegasus winced and whimpered painfully at the bruise that he knew was beginning to form. He tried to pull away once or twice, only to have the grip tighten. How could he get out of this?

“Heh, I guess he tastes pretty good, huh boss?” One laughed. The man finally broke the kiss, let Pegasus slump slightly in his grip to pant.

“Absolutely. Bet he’ll taste even better on the ground.” The man smirked. Pegasus felt himself being pulled from the wall, tossed and caught by one of the other men. Hands roamed over his body. Fingered his shirt, ran under it to touch the skin. God those hands were so cold. Pegasus squirmed, much to the delight of the others. The ground was even grimier than the wall. The muck clung to his clothes and skin. But he didn’t get a lot of time to think about that before the one with the gleaming teeth pushed him onto his back and split his legs. He wasn’t entirely sure if the scream he heard came from his own throat or not.

“Pegasus????” Kai-stern asked. His voice was like heaven to Pegasus’ ears. He wondered absently how this must have looked to Kai-stern. Pegasus sprawled across the dirty ground on his back in a dark alley with three guys surrounding him and one more straddling his hips and just starting to undo his clothes. It didn’t take too long for rage to engulf the man’s normally pleasant and happy eyes. “What the fuck!?”

“We were just about to get to that. Now we would be so kind as to beat it, you nosy bastard! We don’t need an audience.” The man growled, looking back at Kai-stern. Pegasus squirmed a little, only to have his shoulders held down by those rough hands.

“You touch him and I’ll kill you!” Kai-stern snapped. The man laughed a little bit.

“What? You had an appointment? Well sorry, we got here first and we plan on getting our money’s worth on this little whore.”

“Not that the boy costs anything.” Another laughed. Pegasus squirmed more under the man. He was heavy against Pegasus’ hips and it was starting to hurt to be trapped underneath him. A pained gasp escaped him as a tear or two slipped down his skin.

Kai-stern didn’t need to hear anything else. The second that pained gasp passed Pegasus’ lips, he was there and fighting. He didn’t use his sword, the poison would kill the humans instantly though Kai-stern was probably considering murdering them anyway. He stuck with his fists, doing a very good job of throwing the other hormone crazed males into the walls. Finally, the weight on Pegasus’ hips left. Pegasus pushed himself up enough to see the man with the gleaming teeth being tossed out of the alley. Defeated, the group gathered themselves and fled. They knew better than to stick around to try and win Pegasus in the fight. Pegasus sighed in relief. Kai-stern had come to his rescue again before something terrible had happened. They…They had called him a whore. What was a whore? Another term that Pegasus didn’t know.

“Are you alright?” asked Kai-stern while dragging Pegasus to his feet. Pegasus nodded as he brushed the muck and dirt off himself, straightening out his wrinkled clothes as best he could. But Pegasus couldn’t help but feel that there was anger still in Kai-stern. And when he looked up into his enraged eyes, he shrank back, confirming his suspicions. “What the hell were you thinking!”

“What…What do you mean?” Pegasus asked. He trembled as Kai-stern shook him by the shoulders. They were sore.

“What the hell possessed you to come out here, at night!? God you’re lucky I came along before those bastards raped you!” Rape? What was rape?

“But Kai-stern…” Pegasus started.

“How stupid are you! How could you do that!? Why else do you think I told you to stay back at the room!? Damn it, you could’ve been hurt, or killed! You just fucking lucky I came along!!” Kai-stern thundered. Halfway through his ranting, Pegasus started staring at the ground. A couple tears brimmed on his eyes but he didn’t let them fall until Kai-stern finished his ranting. He stood in a rage, watching Pegasus. The tears splashed into the mess and glowed slightly as they always did. Pegasus covered his face with his hands, willing himself to stop but only crying harder. By the time his shoulders were quaking, Kai-stern’s anger had completely diminished.

“…Oh Pegasus, don’t cry.” Kai-stern sighed. Pegasus shuddered in his arms and wept into his shoulder, unable to control himself. “Pegasus, please. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell…God please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry Kai-stern, sir!” Pegasus wailed and choked on his tears. “I…I didn’t mean to make you mad…”

“I know, I know.” Kai-stern sighed. His embrace was so warm. Pegasus calmed little by little. “But Pegasus there was a reason why I didn’t want you to go without me. I was worried something like this could happen…there’s still so much you don’t understand. And without that understanding, there are a lot of dangers for you.”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I don’t know any of this…” Pegasus whimpered.

“Its not your fault.”

“…You were late…and I was worried…I shouldn’t have left…” Pegasus said quietly. His tears were dry. Kai-stern chuckled softly.

“I know I was late. I shouldn’t have been. But that’s the past now. Why don’t we go back to the inn and rest?” Kai-stern insisted. Pegasus nodded and once again Kai-stern gripped his arm and led him back to the inn. But his other arm wrapped gently about his hip so that Pegasus was walking a little ways in front and against him. It felt right.

“Kai-stern?” Pegasus asked as they walked.

“Hm?”

“…There are questions…can I ask them when we get back to the room?”

“Of course you can. You know that. If I know it, I’ll be happy to answer.” Kai-stern laughed. Pegasus smiled vaguely and continued to let Kai-stern lead him. The clerk smiled at the two of them as they entered the hotel and shouted a pleasant good night as they ascended the stairs. In the room, Pegasus sat respectful on the chair by the window, as he always did.

“Now then,” Kai-stern said after closing the door and shutting the blinds, as he did every night. “You had questions?”

“Yes…” Pegasus started. He hesitated for a moment wondering if Kai-stern was going to skirt the subject like he had done before. “…What’s a whore?” The question caused Kai-stern to stumbled. He just barely caught the lamp that started to fall off of the nightstand.

“What?” Kai-stern asked. He replaced the lamp and looked at him. Pegasus played with the hem of his shirt.

“A whore. That’s what they called me…What’s a whore?” Pegasus asked. He stared up at Kai-stern, who smiled vaguely at his innocence. But that smile didn’t hide the nervousness in him.

“A whore? Well um…” Kai-stern started. He cleared his throat and sat on the bed. “Well a whore is…is someone who gives themselves for money.” Kai-stern watched Pegasus. Pegasus blinked. That didn’t answer his question. “A streetwalker?” Still confusing. “A prostitute?”

“But what do those words mean, Kai-stern?” Pegasus asked. “I don’t understand them.”

“…A whore, Pegasus, is someone who has sex with strangers for money.” Kai-stern explained. He looked uncomfortable telling him this. Pegasus blinked. Sex?

“Sex??” Pegasus said. Kai-stern blinked.

“…You don’t know what sex is?” Kai-stern laughed in spite of himself; it was a forced sound. “Of course you don’t. You were isolated for 15 years. Okay, um…Sex…uh…well…um…”

“You can just say it, can’t you?” Pegasus asked. Kai-stern sighed heavily. Ran a hand through his hair for a moment.

“Okay…well sex is…” Kai-stern paused. “Physical affection.” Pegasus blinked. With a heavy sigh, Kai-stern stood and crossed to him. He whispered softly in his ear and laughed a little when Pegasus’ eyes went round. “That explain it better?”

“Mhm…so a whore…does that for money?” Pegasus asked.

“Pretty much.” Kai-stern said and sat back down. Pegasus looked thoughtful again. “Another question?”

“…Then what is rape?” Pegasus asked. Again, Kai-stern stumbled a little. He had just started turning down the bed and he convulsed slightly.

“Rape?”

“Yes, Kai-stern sir.”

“…Rape is forcing someone to have sex against their will.” Kai-stern sighed. “Sex without consent.” Pegasus noted the sad tone in his voice, almost ashamed.

“…Is something wrong, Kai-stern sir?” Pegasus asked. Kai-stern smiled back at him and busied himself with turning down the bed again.

“Not at all. But that’s enough questions tonight, don’t you think?” Kai-stern asked. Pegasus nodded a little. “Thought so. So lets get some sleep.”

Pegasus nodded and sat down on the other side of the bed. True there was another bed in the room but that was only to support the notion that Kai-stern and Pegasus were father and son. Not two strangers who met along the way. That bed went unused. Kai-stern had discovered early that Pegasus’ sleep was not at all peaceful. Yet it was a little better when Pegasus knew that as he slept, Kai-stern was there to hold onto him. And in truth, Pegasus couldn’t imagine what sleeping would be like if he couldn’t blush in it knowing that Kai-stern was holding him.

Pegasus kicked off his shoes and settled back onto the soft pillows. His head sank into it and he sighed pleasantly. Kai-stern chuckled and nuzzled into the pillows beside him. Sighing softly, he pulled the covers back over them, bid Pegasus goodnight and then bathed them both in darkness. But Pegasus couldn’t sleep. There was still something he wanted to know. Turning over, he stared into Kai-stern’s back for a moment.

“…Kai-stern?” Pegasus called after a few moments. Kai-stern stirred sleepily.

“Hm?…”

“…Those things people say to me. Catcalls you called them…why do they say them?” Pegasus asked. Kai-stern yawned. Pegasus watched the muscles in his back flex and tighten as he stretched a bit.

“There’s terms of affection gone wrong. In more civilized conversations, a lot of the things they say could be considered sweet. Terms of endearments that are expressed to show love. The way the people we run into use them is to insult or try to lure. That’s all.” Kai-stern explained, suppressing more yawns.

“Oh…” Pegasus paused. Love? What was that? Love? “Kai-stern?” He got a sleepy grunt as a reply. “What is love?” A round of laughter shook Kai-stern’s body a bit.

“Oh that’s a good one, Pegasus.” Kai-stern snickered into the pillow. “A very good one.” There was an awkward silence. Kai-stern must have been waiting for some sort of response. But why was Kai-stern laughing? Pegasus was serious. Slowly, Kai-stern turn a bit and looked over his shoulder into the blank and questioning stare that Pegasus had been giving his back. “You…you don’t know what love is?”

“Should I?” Pegasus asked simply. Kai-stern propped himself up, finally looking Pegasus in the face. The moon light was glinting through the slits in the blinds, gleaming off his white hair. “What’s the matter Kai-stern, sir?”

“Its…Its just I’ve…I’ve never met anyone who didn’t know what love is. I mean even Nadil knows what love is.” Kai-stern said in a bit of awe. Pegasus looked away for a moment.

“I’m sorry…”

“Now don’t be like that…let’s see.” Kai-stern thought. “Love. Well love is very hard to describe since the feeling is so pure and wonderful that words can’t really express how it feels. There are different types of love.”

“Different types?” Pegasus asked with glinting eyes.

“Mhm. There is the love between siblings, the love between family members. There is the love between a parent and a child, the love between friends. And of course true love.” Pegasus stared up questioningly. “True love. Love between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man. it’s the best type of love. Love between soul mates.”

“Soul mates?”

“Two people destined to be together through everything. Destined to love one another for all eternity. Two people made for each other.” Kai-stern said. There was a nostalgic tone to his words. It made him look so wonderful at night.

\"Oh…how do you know if you’re in love?” Pegasus asked. This was intriguing.

“Like I said its hard to explain. When you’re in love, nothing else matters more than the person you love. Not even your own life. All that matters is their happiness and you’re willing to do anything for it. Even if it means making other people sad or angry. When you’re in love, when the person you love is hurting, you hurt too. When they cry, you cry. When they’re not around, its like your whole world doesn’t exist until they come back…” Kai-stern drifted into a sighing silence. He laid back a bit and rested his eyes. Pegasus continued to watch his features in the shadows and light for a moment.

“…Is that what you feel for Rath?” Pegasus asked. He could see the smile crossing Kai-stern’s thin face in the darkness.

“Yes…Yes I do.” Kai-stern admitted. “I love Rath…so very much.” Pegasus sat back and watched Kai-stern’s expression. He seemed so happy, eyes closed and smiling softly in the darkness. It made Kai-stern seem so, well, perfect. And Pegasus couldn’t help but blush. And he couldn’t help but ask something else.

“…And me?” Pegasus asked. Kai-stern’s eyes didn’t open.

“What about you?” Kai-stern asked back.

“…Do you love me?” Pegasus said. Kai-stern’s eyes opened suddenly. Pegasus was staring down into those lovely eyes. “Do you love me like you love Rath?”

“Wh…what makes you ask that…” he asked in a quiet, nervous voice. Pegasus began to play with the edge of the blanket. The heat in his face was overpowering but Pegasus wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to do with that heat.

“…Because I think I love you the same way…” admitted Pegasus. He gripped his heart and felt it pulsate against his ribs. The very notion seemed so sweet to him. But strange to Kai-stern. He sat up and stared at him. “The way you described it,” Pegasus whispered with closed eyes, “I feel the same way. It hurts when you’re mad at me…or not around…you mean everything to me. I love you, Kai-stern. Do…Do you love me too?”

“Pegasus…”

“I love you…I really do…I have to love you…it seems right…” Pegasus insisted. Kai-stern rested a nervous hand on his cheek and smoothed it with his thumb.

“I think you’re too young to know if you’re in love Pegasus.” Kai-stern realized all too late the pain of his words. Instantly, the walls Pegasus could force between himself and others were up. He pulled away from Kai-stern’s touch. Kai-stern watched surprised as Pegasus sat with his back to him and his legs over the side of the bed. “Pegasus?”

“No…not you too. Why do they all think they know what’s best for me?! Why do you think you know what’s best for me?! What’s in my heart!? Why!?” Pegasus sobbed. He covered his face with his hands, again surprised by how strange his tears felt on his skin. Sobbing softly into his hands, he didn’t fully realize that Kai-stern had him by the shoulders again, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Please don’t cry Pegasus, I didn’t mean it like that.” Kai-stern begged softly. “I didn’t. Its just…well you know so little, not that its your fault. And its just hard for me to think that if you didn’t know what love was, how could you know if you are?”

“But you said its hard to describe. So how do you know that I’m not?” Pegasus debated.

“Well…in honesty I don’t. But Pegasus, understand. Rath is my soul mate, we were made for one another…I can’t love you while I love him fully. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Why can’t it? Why is it limited to only two? Why can’t you have more than one soul mate? How would you know if you didn’t have more than one?” Pegasus was practically begging. He loved Kai-stern, that had to be why he felt like this. He had to understand, had to understand if it was possible to have a soul mate as well. Maybe two.

“…Well I don’t know…maybe…its possible…but I don’t…don’t know.” Kai-stern admitted. He said quietly. “Please, I didn’t mean to upset you…please lets rest.”

“…Alright Kai-stern…” Pegasus sighed. He wanted an answer but Kai-stern couldn’t give it. Sighing, he let Kai-stern pull him back down on the bed and cover him up. Pegasus still had his back to Kai-stern but one of Kai-stern’s arms was wrapped softly against his stomach. With a pleasant sigh, Pegasus drifted into his sleep, unaware of how many questions were know swimming and pulling at Kai-stern’s mind and heart.

TBC

Holy crackers that was long...^^\' and they only get longer. Gomen nasai. That\'s just how I am. So write me a review if you like it, if you don\'t, or if you want me to shorten the chapters just a smidge. I\'ll post the next chapter when I get some reviews.