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Changing Fate Series 1: Comfort	By : ctsama Category: +. to F > Fushigi Yuugi Views: 2096 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Ch. 2: Thaw

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�Don�t let it happen again,� Mitsukake threatened
quietly.� He smacked something into
Tamahome�s hand before departing with an admonishing glare.� At once, Tamahome was glad for Chichiri�s
interference.� He had a feeling that
Mitsukake would have wiped the floor with him otherwise.� He looked at what the physician had given
him, briefly wondering exactly what Chichiri had told him.� He set it on the bedside table while Tasuki
found his clothes and started dressing.

�So now what happens?� Tamahome asked, stopping Tasuki in
mid-motion of getting his pants back on.

He started again more tentatively and shrugged.� �I dunno.�
We get back to normal, I guess.�
We finish this crazy-ass mission, ya go off ta Miaka�s world an� get
married and I go back ta Mt. Reikaku.�
Easy.�

Confused and frustrated, Tamahome refused to believe that
was for the best.� �It�s not that easy,
and you know it.� What you did for me
last night wouldn�t have even been possible if there was nothing between
us!� Turn around and look at me,
dammit!�

The bandit�s shoulders tensed.� �No.�

�I keep hurting you, but no matter what I do, you�re always
there for me.� When we fought in Kutou I
didn�t have my powers; you could�ve killed me but you didn�t.� You let me beat you almost to death just to
avoid accidentally doing too much damage.�
And when it was all over, you still tried to help me find a way to stay
with Miaka.�

�That�s what friends do.�
So what?�

Tamahome stalked closer.�
�I raped you last night.� And
don�t argue with me, it�s true.� I know
you; if you had stopped me, you�d never have been able to live with
yourself.� It was no choice at all.� I hurt you terribly.� Again.�
And you were still more worried about how I would look to everyone else
than taking care of yourself.� How is
that even possible?�

Tasuki dismissed him again.�
�I couldn�t just leave you.� I
was afraid you�d hurt yerself or do somethin� stupid.� Anyone else woulda done the same.�

�No, they wouldn�t.��
He came so close Tasuki could feel him at his back.� �You reached me when no one else could, not
even Miaka.�

�So maybe I did.� So
what?� What more do ya want from me?�
Tasuki demanded harshly.

�Tell me why,� Tamahome pleaded.� �Why do you care so much?�

�What difference does it make?� the fiery seishi cried.� �Me sayin� it ain�t gonna change anything!�

�It will change everything.�
Tell me!� Tamahome pressed, hope rising.

�Dammit, I love ya, all right!� I have fer a long time now.�
But you were with Miaka an' I was fine with that long as you were
happy!� It woulda been fine if ya never
knew.� Better that than havin� ya find
out an� tellin� me ta fuck off.� So now
ya know.� Ya happy now?�� Tasuki stalked dejectedly to the door with
every intention of leaving and doing his level best to pretend none of this had
ever happened.

Tamahome�s heart, which had leapt a moment before, plummeted
as he watched Tasuki walk away.� �This
is something we both want, and I�m not going to let it end like this,� he
thought angrily.

�Don�t walk away from me,� Tamahome growled.� He caught the bandit and spun him around
against the door before he could leave.�
�You don�t get say all that and then just pretend nothing ever
happened.�

Tamahome was close.�
Too close.� Tasuki could feel the
heat rolling off his body, and those gray eyes boring into his were dark with
desire and something else.� �He wants me
again,� thought the bandit incredulously.�
As much as he didn�t want to admit it, that scared him.� �I can�t go through that again,� he thought,
�I never wanted it like this.�

Tasuki shouted �No!� and shoved Tamahome away hard enough to
knock him back a few feet.� �You have no
fucking idea how much last night cost me!�
And now ya expect me ta let you screw me again so you can go running
back to Miaka whenever it suits ya?�
Yeah, I love ya, but I can�t just be some stand-in for Miaka �til we get
Suzaku summoned.� I c�n take a lot, but
that�s askin� too much!�

Tamahome didn�t know where the words came from, but that
didn�t make them any less true.� �I love
you.� I can�t just let you go.�

Tasuki flinched.� The
words sounded bitter to his ears.�
�Don�t make fun �a me.� Yer
sayin� that to the wrong person.� You
just needed somebody an� I was convenient.�
That�s all it was.� Get back ta
reality an� go find Miaka.�

Tamahome could feel the chill taking hold of him again as he
watched Tasuki walking away.� He knew he
was about to lose everything if he couldn�t get the bandit to stay, so he did
the only thing he could think of.� It
wasn�t fair and he knew it, but he didn�t know what else to do.

�Don�t go.�
Please.� I need you.�� Tasuki�s hand froze on the door handle,
gripping it tightly but making no move to open it.� Hesitantly, Tamahome walked over and covered that hand with his
own before pulling it away from the handle.�
He turned the bandit around to face him.

Those beautiful amber eyes were sparkling with tears and
regarded him brokenly.� �I at least
thought we were friends.� Why are ya doing
this ta me?�

Tamahome frowned.�
�He�s scared to death I�m going to just use him again and throw him away
for Miaka whenever I get tired of him.�
It would break him.� But he�s
still here just because I said I needed him.�
No one�s ever gone so far for me,� Tamahome thought wonderingly.

He put a hand to Tasuki�s face, wiping away a falling
tear.� �You really do love me, don�t
you,� he breathed in awe.� Tamahome
kissed the parted lips gently, tasting the saltiness of tears that he had
unintentionally caused.

Tasuki allowed Tamahome to walk him unresisting back to the
bed.� When he pushed the bandit gently
back, he flinched, but didn�t pull away.�
But he wouldn�t look at Tamahome, either.

It broke Tamahome�s heart.�
He�d never seen this man truly afraid of anything before now.� And he had caused it.� �I know what you�re afraid of, but I�m not
going to hurt you again.� Look at me,
please.�

Reluctantly, Tasuki did as he was asked.

�I�m sorry.� I�m
sorry about last night, and I�m sorry I�ve been running you down since we first
met.� And I�m the most sorry that it
took all this for me to realize just how much I love you.�

In Tasuki�s eyes, hope flared, then died just as
quickly.� �Yer just sayin� this stuff
�cause a� what happened ta yer family, Tama.�
One day, you�re gonna remember where yer supposed ta be.� Then you�ll be gone an� it�s gonna kill me.�

Frustrated, Tamahome grabbed Tasuki�s hands, wishing he
could somehow will his intent into the contact.� �Would you just stop being stubborn for a minute and listen to
what I�m telling you?� I couldn�t leave
you if I tried, dammit.� I. Love. You.
Too!� And I don�t know what�s going to
happen with Miaka, but one way or another she�s going to have to accept the
fact that we need to be together.� I
don�t want some �substitute.�� I.� Want.�
You!�

Tamahome released Tasuki�s hands, giving him a chance to
leave if he wanted while he silently prayed to whoever would listen to let him
stay.� Gradually, the uncertainty faded
from his eyes as Tasuki realized that Tamahome was telling him the truth.

Tasuki moaned as his lips were claimed once again.� This time, it was tender, untouched by the
desperate urgency of the previous night.�
When it ended, Tamahome asked, �What do you want?�

Tamahome didn�t get the reaction he�d expected.� Instead, Tasuki turned pink and looked
absolutely mortified.� �If ya laugh, I
will kill ya.� Ummm�� I don�t really know what I�m doin� here,
Tama.� I never�� Uhhh��

Tamahome was incredulous.�
�You never� You mean you�re a-�

Pink darkened to beet red.�
�Don�t say it!� But
yeah.� And quit lookin� at me like
that!!!� he snapped.

�I�m sorry.� I�m just
surprised!� I mean, you�re always saying
you don�t like girls, you live with a bunch of other guys, and you�re gorgeous.� I thought for sure someone would have gotten
you into bed long before now!�

Tasuki snorted.� �I
like guys even less�n I like girls, at least I did b�fore you came along.� It ain't like they didn�t try.� I just wasn�t interested.� I had ta bust some heads a few times just ta
prove I was serious.�

Something finally clicked and Tamahome sobered.� �So last night was your first time?�

Tasuki looked away, embarrassed at having to make the
admission.� �Yeah.� But don�t feel bad or anythin�, it�s no big
deal.� Ya didn�t know what you were
doin�, and I knew what I was gettin� into.�

�Don�t lie to me.�
You may have been in love with me, but that doesn�t mean you wanted what
I did to you last night.� You screamed,
I remember.� I couldn�t have understood
why at the time, but it was because I was tearing you open.� I am so sorry Tas; I owe you big, for that
and a lot more.�

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To kuragari75: I�m glad you�re enjoying the story! Yeah, I
wasn�t sure about writing this story, but it just wouldn�t leave me alone!
Sankyuu for the review! :)

To
tasukigirl78: Woohoo, your�re still readin�! Thanx!! ^o^
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Changing Fate Series 1: Comfort