Changing Fate Series 1: Comfort | By : ctsama Category: +. to F > Fushigi Yuugi Views: 2096 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Ch. 2: Thaw
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“Don’t let it happen again,” Mitsukake threatened
quietly. He smacked something into
Tamahome’s hand before departing with an admonishing glare. At once, Tamahome was glad for Chichiri’s
interference. He had a feeling that
Mitsukake would have wiped the floor with him otherwise. He looked at what the physician had given
him, briefly wondering exactly what Chichiri had told him. He set it on the bedside table while Tasuki
found his clothes and started dressing.
“So now what happens?” Tamahome asked, stopping Tasuki in
mid-motion of getting his pants back on.
He started again more tentatively and shrugged. “I dunno.
We get back to normal, I guess.
We finish this crazy-ass mission, ya go off ta Miaka’s world an’ get
married and I go back ta Mt. Reikaku.
Easy.”
Confused and frustrated, Tamahome refused to believe that
was for the best. “It’s not that easy,
and you know it. What you did for me
last night wouldn’t have even been possible if there was nothing between
us! Turn around and look at me,
dammit!”
The bandit’s shoulders tensed. “No.”
“I keep hurting you, but no matter what I do, you’re always
there for me. When we fought in Kutou I
didn’t have my powers; you could’ve killed me but you didn’t. You let me beat you almost to death just to
avoid accidentally doing too much damage.
And when it was all over, you still tried to help me find a way to stay
with Miaka.”
“That’s what friends do.
So what?”
Tamahome stalked closer.
“I raped you last night. And
don’t argue with me, it’s true. I know
you; if you had stopped me, you’d never have been able to live with
yourself. It was no choice at all. I hurt you terribly. Again.
And you were still more worried about how I would look to everyone else
than taking care of yourself. How is
that even possible?”
Tasuki dismissed him again.
“I couldn’t just leave you. I
was afraid you’d hurt yerself or do somethin’ stupid. Anyone else woulda done the same.”
“No, they wouldn’t.”
He came so close Tasuki could feel him at his back. “You reached me when no one else could, not
even Miaka.”
“So maybe I did. So
what? What more do ya want from me?”
Tasuki demanded harshly.
“Tell me why,” Tamahome pleaded. “Why do you care so much?”
“What difference does it make?” the fiery seishi cried. “Me sayin’ it ain’t gonna change anything!”
“It will change everything.
Tell me!” Tamahome pressed, hope rising.
“Dammit, I love ya, all right! I have fer a long time now.
But you were with Miaka an' I was fine with that long as you were
happy! It woulda been fine if ya never
knew. Better that than havin’ ya find
out an’ tellin’ me ta fuck off. So now
ya know. Ya happy now?” Tasuki stalked dejectedly to the door with
every intention of leaving and doing his level best to pretend none of this had
ever happened.
Tamahome’s heart, which had leapt a moment before, plummeted
as he watched Tasuki walk away. ‘This
is something we both want, and I’m not going to let it end like this,’ he
thought angrily.
“Don’t walk away from me,” Tamahome growled. He caught the bandit and spun him around
against the door before he could leave.
“You don’t get say all that and then just pretend nothing ever
happened.”
Tamahome was close.
Too close. Tasuki could feel the
heat rolling off his body, and those gray eyes boring into his were dark with
desire and something else. ‘He wants me
again,’ thought the bandit incredulously.
As much as he didn’t want to admit it, that scared him. ‘I can’t go through that again,’ he thought,
‘I never wanted it like this.’
Tasuki shouted “No!” and shoved Tamahome away hard enough to
knock him back a few feet. “You have no
fucking idea how much last night cost me!
And now ya expect me ta let you screw me again so you can go running
back to Miaka whenever it suits ya?
Yeah, I love ya, but I can’t just be some stand-in for Miaka ‘til we get
Suzaku summoned. I c’n take a lot, but
that’s askin’ too much!”
Tamahome didn’t know where the words came from, but that
didn’t make them any less true. “I love
you. I can’t just let you go.”
Tasuki flinched. The
words sounded bitter to his ears.
“Don’t make fun ‘a me. Yer
sayin’ that to the wrong person. You
just needed somebody an’ I was convenient.
That’s all it was. Get back ta
reality an’ go find Miaka.”
Tamahome could feel the chill taking hold of him again as he
watched Tasuki walking away. He knew he
was about to lose everything if he couldn’t get the bandit to stay, so he did
the only thing he could think of. It
wasn’t fair and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do.
“Don’t go.
Please. I need you.” Tasuki’s hand froze on the door handle,
gripping it tightly but making no move to open it. Hesitantly, Tamahome walked over and covered that hand with his
own before pulling it away from the handle.
He turned the bandit around to face him.
Those beautiful amber eyes were sparkling with tears and
regarded him brokenly. “I at least
thought we were friends. Why are ya doing
this ta me?”
Tamahome frowned.
‘He’s scared to death I’m going to just use him again and throw him away
for Miaka whenever I get tired of him.
It would break him. But he’s
still here just because I said I needed him.
No one’s ever gone so far for me,’ Tamahome thought wonderingly.
He put a hand to Tasuki’s face, wiping away a falling
tear. “You really do love me, don’t
you,” he breathed in awe. Tamahome
kissed the parted lips gently, tasting the saltiness of tears that he had
unintentionally caused.
Tasuki allowed Tamahome to walk him unresisting back to the
bed. When he pushed the bandit gently
back, he flinched, but didn’t pull away.
But he wouldn’t look at Tamahome, either.
It broke Tamahome’s heart.
He’d never seen this man truly afraid of anything before now. And he had caused it. “I know what you’re afraid of, but I’m not
going to hurt you again. Look at me,
please.”
Reluctantly, Tasuki did as he was asked.
“I’m sorry. I’m
sorry about last night, and I’m sorry I’ve been running you down since we first
met. And I’m the most sorry that it
took all this for me to realize just how much I love you.”
In Tasuki’s eyes, hope flared, then died just as
quickly. “Yer just sayin’ this stuff
‘cause a’ what happened ta yer family, Tama.
One day, you’re gonna remember where yer supposed ta be. Then you’ll be gone an’ it’s gonna kill me.”
Frustrated, Tamahome grabbed Tasuki’s hands, wishing he
could somehow will his intent into the contact. “Would you just stop being stubborn for a minute and listen to
what I’m telling you? I couldn’t leave
you if I tried, dammit. I. Love. You.
Too! And I don’t know what’s going to
happen with Miaka, but one way or another she’s going to have to accept the
fact that we need to be together. I
don’t want some ‘substitute.’ I. Want.
You!”
Tamahome released Tasuki’s hands, giving him a chance to
leave if he wanted while he silently prayed to whoever would listen to let him
stay. Gradually, the uncertainty faded
from his eyes as Tasuki realized that Tamahome was telling him the truth.
Tasuki moaned as his lips were claimed once again. This time, it was tender, untouched by the
desperate urgency of the previous night.
When it ended, Tamahome asked, “What do you want?”
Tamahome didn’t get the reaction he’d expected. Instead, Tasuki turned pink and looked
absolutely mortified. “If ya laugh, I
will kill ya. Ummm… I don’t really know what I’m doin’ here,
Tama. I never… Uhhh…”
Tamahome was incredulous.
“You never… You mean you’re a-”
Pink darkened to beet red.
“Don’t say it! But
yeah. And quit lookin’ at me like
that!!!” he snapped.
“I’m sorry. I’m just
surprised! I mean, you’re always saying
you don’t like girls, you live with a bunch of other guys, and you’re gorgeous. I thought for sure someone would have gotten
you into bed long before now!”
Tasuki snorted. “I
like guys even less’n I like girls, at least I did b’fore you came along. It ain't like they didn’t try. I just wasn’t interested. I had ta bust some heads a few times just ta
prove I was serious.”
Something finally clicked and Tamahome sobered. “So last night was your first time?”
Tasuki looked away, embarrassed at having to make the
admission. “Yeah. But don’t feel bad or anythin’, it’s no big
deal. Ya didn’t know what you were
doin’, and I knew what I was gettin’ into.”
“Don’t lie to me.
You may have been in love with me, but that doesn’t mean you wanted what
I did to you last night. You screamed,
I remember. I couldn’t have understood
why at the time, but it was because I was tearing you open. I am so sorry Tas; I owe you big, for that
and a lot more.”
****************
To kuragari75: I’m glad you’re enjoying the story! Yeah, I
wasn’t sure about writing this story, but it just wouldn’t leave me alone!
Sankyuu for the review! :)
To
tasukigirl78: Woohoo, your’re still readin’! Thanx!! ^o^
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