Low of Solipsism

Author’s note:

Here’s where things start to move forward, ok guys? Also, this is getting updated much faster than I anticipated O-O. Well, can’t complain, eh? I really appreciate any comments left, btw and all comments will be addressed in future chapters out of appreciation. If you could spare a moment to just write a short sentence, we would both love and appreciate it. And by both of us I mean, me (Sniffits) and Toy, my roomie. Hopefully you’ll enjoy this chapter, it’s my second fav so far, but the next chapter is my favorite. We really get to see into Syaoran’s mind :3

Points of interest:

See if you can guess who this ‘she’ that Eriol keeps referring to is. She’ll show up in later chapters too. 1 free internet to the person who guesses!

thoughts

"speaking"

Disclaimer: This document is intended for public viewing and is solely for personal enjoyment. It should neither be considered an authoritative source nor an official publication of the creators and their affiliates.

Technical crap = lulz –munches on some edamame-

Chapter 3 - Training in the Dark

The tea steeped as Eriol turned the fire down. "Hnnn...Four in the morning. Spinel, go get Syaoran-kun." He began to pour the tea into a glass tea-cup before waving the guardian in the direction of the boy's room. "He'll be cross if we wait too long."

Spinel twitched his ears. "Make Nakuru do it."

The mage sighed. "Hah ha, fine. Nakuru, please go get Syaoran-kun." He lifted the cup sipping it and inhaling the steam. "Lavender."

"Huh?" Nakuru looked up from the TV which was blaring a soap opera at 10 decibels louder than necessary. "Go get Syaoran-kun?"

"Please?" Eriol smiled over the brim of his cup.

"Okay!" She ran off toward the proper wing, giggling, before running through the large door to the guest room. "Syaoran-kun! Syaoran-kun!" She skipped to the bed and pulled the sheets off completely. "Syaoran-kun, wake up!"

There was no response at first until the sound became so loud that Syaoran could hear it ringing in his head. "Shut up already, I’m awake!" he half grumbled, half-shouted and literally smacked her as hard as he could with his pillow before grabbing the sheets back. While he fumed he made the bed then shoved her out of the room so he could change and grab his sword. Once finished, he stormed down to where Eriol was and threw the door open, walking up to him to glare. "Of all people why did you send it in there to get me!? Don't you have the decency to wake me up yourself?" the descendent growled out, holding his sword to the bespectacled male's face.

Eriol turned around the face the angry intruder, a look of 'bewilderment' on his face. "Hm? I seem to recall you not wanting to see me, so I didn't think you'd want me to wake you up." He took another sip, looking amused by the whole situation. "I didn’t want to anger you further, although I was actually going to send Spinel to get you. He refused. Now..." He placed and hand on the sheath of the boy's sword. "I believe you wish to practice your kata stances? There's a clearing in the backyard perfect for you to use." He moved aside, motioning to the table. "And there's breakfast for when you’re done."

"...Anything is better than that, that...thing. It’s annoying!" Syoaran shouted before turning tail and heading out. He meditated first to prepare his mental state, then stretched to loosen up his muscles. Starting out simple was always best before he got to more extreme exercises as the sun rose beside him. A sheen of sweat coated his skin after about two hours of his intense training, the beads rolling down his face there they didn't stick to his bangs as his movements increased and became more fluid, each muscle flexing and contracting accordingly to his motions. It had gotten to the point where he had discarded his top, it now hanging around his waist from the tuck in his pants while he jumped around and swung his blade with ease, his face holding pure concentration.

Eriol watched the training, not letting his eyes leave the scene before him. "Things are becoming even more interesting."

"I'm beginning to see why he calls you a lecherous pervert." Spinel yawned before taking another sip of the curry he had made.

The mage laughed. "Heh, well, I'm only admiring the scenery." He watched intently, gaining further knowledge of his subject and devising plans for future exercises. "He really has grown, in spirit, mind and body." He stood up after finishing another cup of tea and stepped outside. "When you're ready, we can begin your real training. That is, if you're ready." His face became serious, that of a true mentor, ready to train his student.

The brunette came slowly to a halt in his actions and glanced over his shoulder panting. "I'm ready if you are." he replied and turned around, standing before the much older male, the same serious expression being harbored on his youthful features. Amber hues narrowed and he held his sword at his side feeling the warm rays of the morning sun hit his damp flesh. "As long as you don't fuck with me I'll be more than willing to follow your instructions..."

Eriol couldn't help but smile maliciously. "Very well then." The sun, which had been rising steadily, was replaced by a thick darkness that swallowed everything around the duo. "How about training in a place where you're blind." The mage raised his hand calling dark forces from around him. "Seeing as you've already focused for long enough you should be able to fight without using your eyesight. Right, Syaoran-kun?" The forces formed into arms that whipped around dangerously close to their intended target. "Focus and all should be well, hmm?"

Syaoran’s eyes narrowed as he watched the darkness consume him, keeping himself calm despite the sudden turn of events. "Hmm, an interesting start." he said to himself as he closed his eyes, the lean frame moving back and forth to avoid the arms that came after him. "What other plans do you have for me, old mage?" he asked, using his sword to deflect some of the attacks, albeit there were a few that got passed him because he hadn't taken the time to regain his stamina between now and his morning exercises.

"I'm planning on doing what was promised. Now, do as you were instructed. Find the source of this without knowing who or what it is and without being able to see it at all." He laughed, a deep and menacing kind of laugh. The dark arms probed, looking for the right time to strike. Eriol saw and opening and took it, as one of the arms shot toward the warrior wrapping around the boy's arm before whipping away, leaving a red wrapped mark behind. "Here's the trick with this battle. Each time you are marked on your body you lose a little strength. When you have lost strength completely, you will lose to me." Eriol took his glasses off, cleaning them. "You wouldn't want to lose...to me, now would you?" Hopefully this will get his competitive blood flowing. If that's the case then this should be...interesting...

There was an indignant snort as he continued to maneuver around the onslaught, though the catch to his arm made him growl. Feeling himself momentarily weakened, he quickly regained his lost composure and steeled himself and his determination not to be defeated by the mage. This only proved to make the challenge more difficult for Eriol's arms as he was making use of his instincts to narrowly escape being touched by the darkness. "I'm not going to lose to you, Hiiragizawa. You may have the upper hand and more power and wisdom than I, but I do have heart and will. I'm not going to fail." his words were as swift as his feet, growing weaker with it simple brush of those cold black fingertips. With a final effort he did a back-hand spring out of the reach of almost a dozen hands then lunged forward, thrusting his blade in front of him only to stop on the side of the blue-haired male's head, a few short strands falling from where they were cut. "Don't underestimate me Hiiragizawa."

Eriol widened his eyes in mock surprise. It wasn't that he wasn't shocked at all, it was that he felt a strange sensation as the strands were cut. It was something he wasn't quite expecting. Then again, he had been wrong before. "You've grown, but that doesn't mean I've underestimated you, rather, I've estimated you precisely. I was just...a little taken aback, is all." He countered by gripping the boys arm, surging power through it that rippled like electricity. "However, if you mean to defeat me, then strike as though you wish to kill." His grip tightened on the limb threatening to shatter the bone, but stopping short. "Be careful getting close to me and thank your gods and ancestors I don't want to kill you." He sneered before pulling his arm back and thrusting it forward, throwing Syaoran back with force. "Now, try again."

Syaoran let out a yelp, as he was thrown back, his body striking the ground with force. He soon regained his footing, pulling his sword toward him with determination. "Fine, if that's how you want this to be." he stated flatly and paused, his blade being pulled to his face as his eyes remained closed, concentrating all of his energy into his attacks. Even with the pain still shooting through his arm he made another go of it, dodging the arms that were trying to protect Eriol as he lunged, this time thinking not of simply getting his attention, but to full on strike to kill. Emotions and hesitance was not something that he could afford to have at the moment or it would hinder any chance of success against his ancestor. To accompany his physical attack he pulled out one of his talismans, summoning the thunder god to aide him in his time of need.

Eriol chuckled. Had it been Clow testing you, he might have felt bad, but I harbor none of his resentments. You may call me soulless, but I desire results. He raised his hand, easily deflecting the charm. "Those 'ofuda' did nothing to Yue, a mere creation. What makes you think they'll work against me? Or are you operating on the idea that only magic that isn't mine will work? I seem to recall you using that strategy on 'Void'." Though, I also recall you failing there as well. As the sword made contact with him he disappeared in a puff of smoke that the blade sliced through easily. "Smoke, as a colleague of mine once said, is a wonderful substance that speaks in volumes and forms misty illusions that fool even the smartest of minds." As he reappeared on another pedestal he easily erected from the ground, he placed and hand into the inky blackness that surrounded him. "Isn't it an eerily beautiful sight?" The smoke turned into billowing shapes, red, orange and yellow, forming demon-like beasts that surrounded the battle field.

"Hnn damn you! Why don't you try fighting like a real man instead of hiding behind your magic? That's all you do is let your servants and your power do the fighting for you while you sit back and watch with an amused smirk. Sometimes I'm ashamed to call someone like you my ancestor who uses cheap parlor tricks to gain the upper hand on someone who has little magical ability." Syaoran snapped back in irritation as he fought of mentioned 'servants'. It was taking its toll both physically and mentally on him, but he still had the strength to keep going. He wanted to prove his worth in the eyes of someone greater than himself after all as well as his mother.

Eriol couldn't contain his laughter anymore as it let out, loudly throughout the arena. "Oh, Syaoran-kun. Just the response one might expect from someone who is weaker. When a man is losing the fight he always finds some way to make himself look and feel better. 'The sun was in my eyes', 'I was tired' and now 'You're cheating'. I'd be lying if I said I expected better, though. You and I both know that if you were fighting someone weaker than you, you would fight on your level, not there's. Don't try to hurt my feelings by calling me names." He pointed a finger, before swiping across, making the dark guardians he had summoned disappear. You'll be back, after I teach him a lesson. He then drew out his staff before leaping forward, summoning his most powerful binding magic. "This should be easy enough for you to dodge, right?" In truth, the bindings were just a distraction as he reached out, probing in the darkness until his fingers curled around Syaoran's neck.

The boy coughed as best he could while his neck was gripped, painfully, before falling to his knees when they disappeared. His head spun and his whole body felt heavy from the lack of stamina.

"Even you use your magic to give you an advantage. I am teaching you, so you must learn." His grip tightened before fading, leaving a bruise. "Now, how about we resume where we left off?" With that, the beasts returned, once again attacking from all directions in the void.

With much force Syaoran stood and defended himself, albeit he was failing as the horde surrounded him, making escape impossible. "I don't give a fuck what you expected. You and my mother expect so much of me and I am only one person...I am only human. I can only do so much! Nothing ever pleases either of you! It's always 'Syaoran you're not exceeding my expectations' or 'Syaoran why aren't you learning fast enough? You'll never gain power at the rate you're going'. I'm sick of it! I can't do anything right! If I'm such a failure why do you even bother!? I don't want to learn if all you're going to do is berate and belittle me!" his mind snapped as well as his body as the warrior gave in to his weakened state, in turn giving the creatures the opening they'd been waiting for. One last deflection of their assault was made before he dropped to his knees, blade buried in the ground as he held onto it with both hands for support. Dampened bangs covered half-mast amber eyes as he panted, his body looking rather beaten, a few trickles of blood rolling down the side of his face as well as the corner of his mouth, the bruises from the hands turning an indigo color outlined in a sickening green as the blood rose to the surface of his tanned, sweat-laden skin. "You always expect too much of me. I'll never be good enough for you." he murmured more angry and frustrated with himself than Eriol at his own weakness.

The mage felt something, not sympathy, no. He had ditched most of that side of Clow when he gave half of his powers to Fujitaka. What he felt was more; a sign. A signal that all good mentors feel when they've gone far enough, and that was where they were at in this exercise. They hadn't reached the point they needed to be at, but it was done. Eriol recalled everything, the darkness and the monsters before restoring the pedestal and approaching the boy's shaking frame. He looked on the verge of tears and Eriol felt a smile again, this time gentler as he kneeled, reaching to grip the boys chin and pull him close. "Syaoran-kun, you ask too much of yourself at once. You're just a confused boy. You want to be punished and worked because it is in your nature, yet you fight it out of some sort of desire to be alone. In the end, you fear loneliness, don't you?" The mage leaned in further, pressing his lips to the boy's cheek, just below his eye, filling him with magic. "I think it's best if you rest for now. You can eat later." He raised his hand, one final time, placing it on the boy's eyes and forcing him into a dreary state. After all, what will he learn if I break him too early?

Syaoran was willing himself not to break in front of the superior boy, but he felt completely drained in mind and body. No reply came as he peered up into those deep, almost sadistic, blue eyes, feeling tears threaten him as his consciousness faded along with his vision.

"How much abuse do you think that boy can take? I see no potential in someone who is just going to whine the entire time." Spinel muttered as he watched Nakuru carried Syaoran into the house, the small black creature then turning his attention back to his master. "Do you intend to break his spirit? Don't push him too hard or he may genuinely come to despise you and I know that's not what you want. Try showing some sympathy. I know you have none because of Fujitaka, but you could at least pretend to try." The cat wondered with a tilt of his head before flying inside.

Eriol stared into the fire as he sat down, waiting for the boy to awaken. His face was stoic, not changing even as Spinel unwittingly threw accusations at him. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And, nothing worth having is free. He will learn nothing if he doesn't earn it."

"And you're willing to make him hate you for that?"

Eriol sighed, feeling, for the first time in ages, a twinge of sadness. "If his hatred is a side effect of his training, then yes."

"You mean, you'd risk losing any chance with him, so you could make him stronger?" The guardian looked bewildered, his tone sounding almost angry.

"Strength is what he needs right now. After all, he must be a guardian to her, and the future. Without it, the plans that she and I laid will fall through." His eyes never left the dancing firelight.

"I don't understand you. I thought you brought him here to woo him."

"No." His words were finite, echoing through the large chamber and startling Spinel. "My own wants do not come above this, the future. If he chooses to hate me, then so be it."

The brunette was given a few hours of rest, before waking up sometime in the middle of the night simple to stare blankly out the large window, his focus being on the swaying of the leaves that blew in the night breeze. "Am I really that weak that I can't even stomach his contempt. Maybe I am just fearing loneliness because I'm too scared of sacrificing something important to me..." he mused to himslf quietly, burying his face in the blankets with a shaky heave. “And…why do I hate him?” That was a question he didn’t want to answer, not even to himself. Some deep part of his mind knew the truth. He had been enamored, like everyone else; seduced by the mage’s aura of power, but, there was more to it. His heart knew, but he wouldn’t even acknowledge it. There was more to it than latent fascination, which is why he threw a fit anytime someone mentioned Eriol’s name. Anything - anything to keep them and him from realizing the truth of his feelings.

Syaoran’s feet padded on the ground as he explored the hallways of the large manor. Escape was no longer in his mind now, just restlessness and longing for a companion to at least converse with without being reprimanded and mocked. He sighed softly, wincing as his throat ached, the bruises on his body being dark on his skin. He was sure they'd heal at a more rapid pace since he was with the magician, but it didn't alter the fact that it still hurt to move or even breathe. A hand reached over his bare shoulder and touched one of the handprints on his shoulder blade and groaned, his head hanging. "He always was so physical with everything..." A few more hallways and he found himself in a large windowed room with oak floorboards and a fire-lit chandelier. At the other end was a black grand piano which he approached and idly hit a few keys, taking a seat to stare down at the white tools. He didn't know how to play anything except a simple lullaby, but even that wasn't very good. It was soothing, however, to have sound rather than the eerie silence, so he continued to play with the large instrument, letting his mind sink into itself to dwell and everything that had happen and could, potentially, occur.

Eriol had been strolling through the hallways, dwelling in thoughts of the future, something that woman had always told him not to do. No, that wasn't right. That woman had not spoken to him yet; he was only remembering what she had said to Clow. It wasn't as though he didn't know that dwelling didn't help, it was that he had nothing better to do. It was then that he heard to soft melody of a lullaby being played. He surmised that it was Syaoran, seeing as how no one in the house other than he could play. He admitted it was amateur sounding, but still nice, and it perked his interest as he would have never pegged Syaoran as being the type to play at all. He turned heel and headed for the music room, his thoughts lifting ever so slightly.

Seeing the warrior in an unguarded moment was a sight to behold that Eriol absorbed as he quietly approached the grand piano. He stared, feeling a calm wash over before leaning in and placing his hands on the boy's moving them to a few other keys. "The version you're playing is the simpler version, but if you add in a few more keys it sounds livelier." The scent of battle still hung in the air and Eriol felt the pains Syaoran was suffering through the tough exterior the boy always carried with him.

Syaoran raised no sign of resistance or surprise as he continued to play, his body being slack as he sat there listening to the music being played in a more comforting light. He would never admit this openly to the blue-haired teen, but his company was sometimes very soothing and something he needed every now and then, much like Sakura. Between the two there was so much confusion in his feelings. He loved Sakua, he knew this, but when Eriol was with him similar emotions would stir. Never as strong as his bond with the new Mistress, but enough to make him question himself. "Why me..." the question had weighed on his mind although it had come out nowhere. “Why do you make me feel this way...So...confused and yet..." He had whispered it, too tired to care if the mage overheard.

"Hmm?" Eriol paused in the playing and leaned back until he was standing straight up. "Odd time to bring up such a topic. What sort of answer do you want, and are you even ready for it?" He folded his arms, contemplating what to say next as he played the delicate situation. One way or another, each statement could drive their relationship in a direction, but which one? "Syaoran-kun, do you hate me? I mean, actually hate me." He removed his glasses, cleaning them with his shirt, although, truth be told, they never needed cleaning. "Or is it more...resentment; lack of understanding?" He paused, letting his sharp eyes fall on the boy. "Do you resent me because I puzzle you?" He chuckled. "You never did like my 'speaking in riddles'."

At first there was aggitation in the boy’s face, but it eventually fading to something more unreadable as his eyes drifted back to the keys, mimicking what the bespectacled male had been doing and continued to play. "...I, no...I don't hate you." he stated after a long period of awkward silence other than the sound of the keys hitting the strings in the piano. "I resent your refusal to be honest with me...Your way of twisting the truth and using my words against me. I don't trust what I don't understand, that should be easy enough for you to comprehend. The uknown...scares me." he uttered softly, his form shaking a bit from feeling so exposed to the other. It wasn't common for him to be so unguarded and open and it usually only happened around Sakura or Meiling, even Wei. Eriol was the last person he would open himself up to, but who else did he have to turn to? Certaintly not Nakuru and Spinel couldn't care less. If he kept it inside, though, he knew he would break.

"I see. It's as I thought." Eriol sighed before taking a seat on the bench and placing his fingers on the keys, playing the same melody only in a higher octave. "You fear what you don't understand, you label me as dishonest and cover you're weakness with brute stubbornness. Sorry if I'm being too blunt, but lying isn't going to get us anywhere. If I might explain, sometimes telling someone the truth doesn't let them understand it. I could train you like you had in Hong Kong, making you practice kata, and inform you of spells. But, what of when you face an enemy?" He paused before smiling. "Do you know how diamonds are made? They start from a soft, sooty rock, known as coal. Even a child can crush it. But, if enough pressure is applied, the coal becomes stronger until it turns into a diamond." He stopped playing, lacing his fingers thoughtfully in his lap. "How do you expect to protect her against enemies if you've never been broken, faced pain or understood what it means to die? Sometimes lies are the best way to tell someone the truth." Eriol turned, gently placing his hands on Syaoran's neck. "I might have been harsh in your eyes, but those who will come after you will be much worse." The magic flowed through is fingers, soothing the injuries a bit and causing the bruises to disappear.

Syaoran sat and took Eriol’s words into account, instead of just brushing them off as a simple way to frustrate him. He placed a hand to his neck noting that it no longer hurt to do so and his body didn't ache. A few more minutes of playing together followed before he reached the closing to the lullaby and stood. "I suppose I still have quite a bit to learn, if I can't protect even myself, there's no chance that I could protect someone else, especially her...I'll have to discover the truth to become stronger..." He trailed off as he started for the door, but stopped and peered back at Eriol, offering a rare genuine smile. "Besides, you won't let me leave until I do..." with that he turned and took his leave, heading back to his room to sleep a little longer before the next lesson would commence.

As the door closed, the mage lowered his eyes. “Finally, it would appear we’re making progress.”

Ending Note: Hmm…It would appear that Syoaran has weird feelings for Eriol. Something more than what everyone else gets around him, namely being a weird sort of infatuation. Sort of like what Sakura had for Mizuki-sensei. The ‘hou’ sort of feeling. Given how the two treated each other at the very end of the series and the mystic air Eriol always carries, I can see quite a few people falling in love with him, even in knowing very little about him. He’s just…one of those people. Of course, real love comes with time. –nods-

Final notes: If you want to imagine the lullaby in your head then look up on Youtube or another video site ‘Pan’s Labyrinth Lullaby’. It’s not exactly what he’s playing, but it was what we were listening to when writing that part. So, just use that to fill your imagination if you so choose.

Also, Lavender Earl Grey tea is amazing. Try it!

R&R my little hentai bunnies!

-Sniffits & Toy