Tell the Northern Lights to Keep Shining | By : QueenHimiko Category: +S to Z > Slayers Views: 3352 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Slayers, I make no profit. |
AN: Chapter title is from "Angel" by Blue October.
It was such a clear and pretty day that it was hard to believe that a raging storm had passed through the previous night. After studying the map that morning and finding that the next town would be a good day’s travel away, they decided to take full advantage of the beauty the day had to offer by packing a picnic lunch and bringing it with them.
Lina was feeling torn between the normalcy of feeling well rested for a change and a bit embarrassed about having to hold Gourry’s hand like a small child the previous night to get it. Fortunately for his health and safety he didn’t say anything about it. And she wasn’t about to tell him that his hand was like a tether, keeping her grounded in the present rather than floating back through the past.
Still, she considered as they left the inn and set back on the open road, it was a lot easier to travel when you’d had a good night’s sleep for a change. All things told she felt about as normal as she had since that night. Even if she and Gourry barely said a word to each other.
The sun was getting high in the sky when they decided to sit on a tree trunk that had most likely been ripped from the earth during the previous nights storm. Gourry rested comfortably against a branch as he bit into his sandwich and asked, “How are we doing, financially I mean?”
“Well, we have enough to get us to Rolat and be in a position to haggle if the sword is there. After that we’ll probably have to pick up a few gigs or hunt down some bandits. First thing we’ll need to do there is find a place where I can sell the amulets.” Lina said as she finished an apple.
“And how long till we get there again?”
“Two days.”
“So what’s the plan?”
Lina shrugged, “We get there, we raise some funds, I find where the Duke is, if the sword is there we barter. Easy enough.”
He looked at her warily, “Since when are things ever that simple?”
“Well, never.” Lina admitted, “But we’ll just improvise like we always do!”
“I just think that maybe we should plan for a worst case situation.”
Lina threw the apple core at him, “And what, yogurt for brains, would this worst case situation be?”
“Erm…” he said as he struggled to think of something.
“Exactly. We’re playing with too many unknowns to formulate a worst case situation.”
“Well, then maybe we should scout things out first before walking into someone’s home uninvited and asking them to part with some treasure of theirs.” Gourry said decidedly as he took a bite out of his fourth sandwich.
Lina turned to glare at him, “You used to never mind planning on the fly before. What’s changed?”
“I don’t have the Sword of Light anymore, that’s what’s changed.” He said.
“And you don’t trust me alone to keep the two of us out of trouble?” she said, her voice low and dangerous.
“No!” he protested, “I just think we should be a little more careful, that’s all.”
“You mean I should be more careful!” she shot back.
“No,” he found himself yelling right back, “I should! I’m the one who took the responsibility of being your protector!”
She flushed crimson as she yelled, “Well, I don’t need it! I’ve never needed a protector! Where did you get such a stupid idea anyway?”
“So you think I do it because you need it?” he hollered back, stung at the rejection, “That’s not it at all!”
“What is it then?”
“I do it because you’re worth it!”
She was going to yell again, but as soon as his words sunk in she lost her steam, “Huh?”
“You’re worth it.” He repeated.
She stared at him as though he was crazy. His eyes narrowed as he continued, “In my line of work you have to size someone’s strengths up fairly quick. I knew from the get go that you could hold your own. Later I learned that I had underestimated you a little bit, well a lot, but still. Even the strongest person can’t live alone. No one can make it alone, Lina. Not even you. Everyone needs someone to have their back. And I decided that you were worth it!”
She continued to stare at him as though he had just announced that he was going to study marine life, and he wasn’t sure if he was about to be pummeled. Finally she shot back, “What made you decide that?”
“You gave me my sword back.” He said quietly.
“Of course I gave it back, it was yours. What’s so remarkable about that?”
He smiled wryly, “Now who isn’t paying attention?” he asked as he beeped her on the nose. “I came from a family who spilled each other’s blood for the sword, Lina! That’s what’s so remarkable about it!
“And it wasn’t just my family. You should know better than to try to make friends as a mercenary. It was several years after I ran away, right before I met you actually, that I told someone about the sword. And I nearly woke up dead when they tried to kill me in my sleep for it.
“So it told me a lot about you when you gave it to me after you cast that spell that turned your hair white. If you had decided to keep it I couldn’t have done anything to stop you. But you returned it to me without a fuss. I’d had a feeling about you since I met you, but it wasn’t until that moment that I knew that you were worth protecting for the rest of my life. I’d found a purpose for the sword and my life.”
He stared at the ground as he spoke and did not notice the stunned look on her face. “You mean you didn’t have one?” she asked.
He shook his head, “No. For a while I didn’t care about what happened to me. And I hated that sword so much that I nearly threw it in a river.”
Lina turned red as she yelled, “You nearly threw it in a river!? Gourry! What the hell were you thinking?”
“That if it wasn’t for the sword I would have my family. That if it wasn’t for the sword I would have a friend! I saw it as the cause of all of the problems in my life! I hated that sword until I met you and found a good use for it! So regardless of whether or not you need it, you’re worth it. I don’t care what’s happened to you. Nothing will change that.”
He stared at the ground as he waited to hear what she said next. Most likely he’d said all of the wrong things again. Most likely she was about to yell at him again. There was the sound of the rustle of clothing against tree bark, the feel of heat against his skin as she inched closer to him. He looked over at her, wondering if she was about to start swinging. Her expression was unreadable as she put a hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek. He was stunned as she moved forward and brought his face close to hers and kissed him lightly on the lips. His blue eyes grew wide as she pulled away while maintaining her hands as they were. He could read a million questions in her eyes, first and foremost among them was whether or not what she had done was okay.
He slowly wrapped his arms around her and moved to kiss her again. She met him halfway, surprising him as she started thrusting her tongue between his lips, asking for entrance. He opened, letting her set the pace as she probed his mouth with her tongue.
She moved her hands down so they were wrapped around his back and slowly she started to push him back so that he was supported by the branches. Finally he could go no further, but the benefit was that that she was now pressed tightly against him. After three years of wanting to be together like this it was bliss to have her in his arms.
She moved her hand in a slow caress down from his cheek to his shoulder and along his arm before moving it back up again as her other hand stroked his hair. She broke away briefly for air and he seized the chance to enter her mouth as his ardor picked up and his body started to respond. That was when she pressed herself against him, demanding more closeness, and he responded by pulling her into his lap, her pelvic area grinding against his. She gasped and her eyes shot open as she detected a hardness there. Looking like a child caught stealing cookies from the jar, she pulled away, her breathing heavy as she did, and quickly got off his lap as she turned beat red.
Looks like I am a slut after all. she thought as she gathered her bearings and got off of the tree.
“Lina,” he started.
“We’d best get moving.” She said curtly. “We’ve got a long way to go till the next town and we have to be there by nightfall.”
Without waiting to see if he was following, she set off back to the road. Guilt tugged at her as she fought to suppress the arousal she was feeling. Two months! It had barely been two months, and already she was throwing herself wantonly at him! What did it say about her?
She stole a glance at him from the corner of her eye. He was looking nervous, and was eyeing her in what he thought was an unobvious manner. She stared at the road as they got back on it. The butterflies in her stomach were nearly all dead at last. It had been the first time since that night that she had been able to feel them.
Part of her was still glad she could feel them, that those men had not killed her ability to feel that wondrous sense of tension and anticipation she felt around Gourry. She tried to listen more to that part as they got back on the road. It was hard when the guilt was so pervading.
Anger rose within her. It wasn’t like she was throwing herself at some random stranger! It was Gourry! Gourry, who she was in love with. She had realized it sometime after the incident with Phibrizzo. Once the dust had settled and she and Gourry were traveling alone again, she spent a lot of time wondering why she had cast such a dangerous spell to save him. The answer was obvious. Martina’s dying words had been correct. She loved him.
It took longer for Lina to become comfortable with that fact. When someone uses the first man you had ever fallen in love with to manipulate you into nearly destroying the world it messes with a person. What didn’t help was the fact that Gourry did not seem to see her in that way at all. He was always so formal and proper. Though, that had been changing.
There were the lingering glances. The accidental brushing of hands that weren’t so accidental. A gentle touch. A ruffling of her hair.
And then there was that evening. The wine had done something to her inhibitions that night. It had melted them away. And what was even more amazing was that he had responded to her advances! “You want to know why I’m still here even though you don’t have the sword?” she repeated, her words slightly slurred as she reached out to caress his hand.
He put his hand on top of hers and squeezed them gently, “That’s what I asked.”
Exhilaration ran through her as she leaned forward, “Why do you think?’ she asked coyly, wondering if she could entice him to kiss her. Daringly she reached a hand out to cup his cheek.
He closed his eyes blissfully, and then seemed to gather himself, “I think you’re drunk.”
“I’m…not!” she said slowly in an attempt to keep the slosh from her voice.
He leaned forward. Her cheeks reddened slightly. Was he going to kiss her? He did, but on the forehead. “You are.”
“I’ve not even drank half as much, no, not even a quarter as much as you!”
He smiled as he ran a hand through her hair, “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”
“I’m always cute!” Lina corrected.
He nodded, “Yes, you are.”
“Damn straight!” she said as she got out of her chair and kissed him on the cheek.
He grabbed her hands and squeezed them. “Get some sleep, Lina.” He said.
Get some sleep? Was he crazy? At the same time she was tired, and part of her realized that her sober self in the morning might be mortified if she went too far too fast. “Night!” she said, her head swimming as she stumbled to her room.
Still, there was the burning desire to continue what they had started to its natural conclusion. She grinned to herself as she reasoned that there was nothing keeping her from slipping into his bed in the morning after they had both slept off their excesses. It was a pleasant idea that stuck with her as she entered her room (had she locked the door?) and changed into one of her frillier nightgowns. Without bothering to brush her hair or teeth she sank into bed and was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.
A slap to the face was what roused her, but it didn’t sink in how wrong things really were until she realized that the cry she made in response was drowned out by some sort of gag in her mouth. She couldn’t cast spells if she was gagged! Her eyes shot open, but she could only see darkness as she tried to stand up but found she was pinned down. Someone, no, some people were laughing.
“Lina?” Gourry asked, drawing her back to the present.
She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to hear it!” she yelled.
“Hear what?”
“Whatever it is you have to say! Just shut up!” she snarled as she walked faster, hoping that he wouldn’t notice as she once again struggled to hold back tears.
Lina seethed as she thought about how unfair it was. If it hadn’t have happened, she wouldn’t have felt so guilty over kissing him. She might have surprised him by joining him in his bed that morning rather than sneaking off like thieves in the night. Okay, she had to admit. Odds were she would have woken with a hell of a hangover and moaned about it all through breakfast. But after that wore off surely they would have taken things to a new level.
But now that it had happened how could they be intimate? It didn’t seem right to get close in that way with someone after being raped. And the fact that she was aroused that night fed into her guilt and shame. But she felt it from Gourry! She’d not even noticed them in the dining hall. It was still mortifying to have been assaulted on the evening that she had seriously considered taking things a step further with her long time traveling companion.
First someone manipulated her feelings of love for him to try to get her to destroy the world. Then when she first attempted to act on her amorous feelings for him she was raped. Lina’s shoulders sagged as she wondered just how many other ways her feelings for him could be used against her, and quickly tried to think of something else. The possibilities were too terrifying.
***
Two steps forward, three steps back Gourry mulled to himself as he sipped his ale while waiting for his food and for Lina to come back with the room keys. Keys. She had insisted that she was good on her own tonight. The day was not ending on a good note.
Never in his life had he berated himself so badly for having an erection. It wasn’t as if he had too much control over these things. She had kissed him after all. His body had responded. And now she could barely look at him again. Worse still, when she did talk to him, she yelled. And all he could think about was how, after all that she had been through, could he have pushed her too fast too soon?
She sat down quietly. “They have Nagillum here.” He said, hoping that the mention of her favorite brew would cheer her up a bit.
A strange looked washed across her face too quickly for him to process it. “I’ve lost my taste for it.” She muttered.
He stared at her. Lina was not a big drinker, but she did enjoy the finer things in life. “When did that happen?” he asked.
She reddened, “Well, who wants to be like that bozo over there, passed out with his wallet hanging open and ready for any thief who stops by?” she asked, indicating a local who was passed out at the bar.
“Well, why don’t you steal it?” he asked.
“I only steal from thieves.”
“So if someone stole his wallet, would you take it from the person who stole it?”
“In a heartbeat!” Lina chirped.
“Your sense of right and wrong is off.”
“Hey!”
The food arrived, and conversation was a wasted effort. Once dinner was demolished they went to their separate rooms. He sat on the bed, sharpening his sword as he listened to her pace around her room. He kept thinking back to the way she had refused the ale and tried to think of the last time he saw her drinking. Her reaction was strange, not the casual way that someone whose tastes had suddenly changed would react. He nearly dropped his sword as he realized that she almost seemed ashamed about it, just like she had when he asked why he had not noticed anything that night.
He set his sword down and gripped the blankets of the bed. They had to have been drunk that night. Both of them. Suddenly everything made sense. He always knew he was taking a gamble when he had more than one drink. Back when he was a mercenary people would tease him about how he had done stuff he had no memory of the previous night while drinking. Many said that getting him drunk was the only way someone could slip into his tent undetected. He never remembered being drunk to know if it was true or not, but in retrospect the only times he’d woken up realizing that something had been missing where the times he remembered nothing of the night before. So it made sense.
A pit formed in his stomach. The knowledge that because he was passed out drunk in the next room some people were able to sneak into her room to rape her settled in his stomach like a badly cooked egg. Guilt overwhelmed him. It was enough to make him never want to drink again.
Feeling the need to go down to the courtyard to practice and work out some of his frustration he grabbed his sword and headed towards the door, only to stop in his tracks as a whooshing sound filled the room and a white light sped past him. Oh no she didn’t! he thought as he ran towards the window to find that yes, Lina was levitating down to the courtyard.
His eyes narrowed as he realized he had just narrowly missed her sleeping spell. He headed towards the door again, working hard to keep his footsteps light despite his anger. He swiftly made his way down the hallway and out of the inn and kept his ears peeled. Odds were she was hunting bandits.
He was right. Soon enough he was able to detect the sound of her attacks spells and the screams of thieves running for their lives. When he caught up to her she was in the thick of it, kicking ass and wreaking havoc as men fled in fear from her. Usually he enjoyed watching her when she was in her element. Tonight he was mad. He thought of putting a stop to her escapade to ream her for the sleep spell but decided it would make it worse. So he settled for watching over her, keeping an eye out to help her if she should need it.
He would confront her once she was finished.
Eventually she got what she wanted and made her way back to the inn. He walked just far enough ahead of her that she wouldn’t notice him and close enough that he could make sure she was okay. He stopped in front of the door to the inn and waited, arms folded, for her to get back.
He could tell when she noticed him. She stiffened and her face set in that manner she did when she was gunning for a fight. “Next time you go bandit hunting, you can let me know rather than sneak around and send spells through my room.” He said evenly as she walked past him.
“Noted.” She replied as he followed her to her room and shut the door behind them. “This is my room, Gourry.”
“I know. And I’ll leave once I say what I have to say.” He said as she set her mantle on the floor and started rummaging through it. “How much did I drink that night?”
She dropped the solid gold bowl she was examining. A look of horror settled in her face as she stared at the space between her hands where the bowl had been. “I lost track after the first bottle.” She said resignedly.
He nodded in understanding. “And you were going to put me under a sleep spell tonight.”
It was not a question. He braced himself to handle a serious pissed off Lina. If everything he said lately that was meant to be kind was provoking her anger, what would confronting her unleash? Still, it had to be said. She just couldn’t go around casting sleep spells on him!
He prepared himself to feel her fingers around his neck. So he was shocked when she looked suitably chastened. “Sorry.” She said, softly but genuinely.
“What were you thinking?” he asked, and instantly regretted it. Like it had the few other times she had apologized unexpectedly, it took him off guard. He stared at her, stunned as she looked at the gold plated bowl but did not seem to really see it. She was biting her lip, most likely in an effort to keep from crying.
“I said I was sorry. What more do you want?” she replied, her voice low.
“I just…just want to know that you won’t do it again.” He stuttered and stumbled, still not quite believing that he was not a bruised, purple lump.
“Fine. You have my word. I won’t put you under a sleep spell unless you ask for one. I won’t drink. And I’ll make sure to be extra careful.”
“All I care about is that you don’t go casting sleep spells behind my back!” he protested.
“Well, it wasn’t a sleep spell that got me in trouble!” she shot back.
“You didn’t get yourself in trouble, someone went looking to cause trouble.” He corrected, even as he realized she was voicing the exact same thing he had thought when he realized that if he hadn’t have been drunk, he would have been able to stop them.
“And they wouldn’t have been able to if I wasn’t drunk!” she yelled.
He stared at her for a moment, not sure of what to say. “Are you wanting this to be your fault?” he asked.
“It is my fault!” she said as a tear slipped down her cheek. “If I hadn’t been drunk, dammit, I don’t even think I locked the door! I practically left the damn welcome mat out! If…”
“You don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t had one drink.” He pointed out quietly. “May be it would have changed things, maybe not.’
Another tear slide down her cheek, “You can’t just let your guard down when you live a dangerous life like I do!”
“And what about that local we saw passed out at the bar?” he asked.
“What about him?” she snapped.
“His wallet was right there in the open. And you didn’t take it.”
“No.” she said, not getting his point. “I told you. I only steal from thieves.”
“Would you slit his throat because he let his guard down?”
“No! And while we’re at it, is there a reason you’re still here?”
“After I first ran away I was mad at the world, I did a lot of stupid things. Once I passed out drunk in a bar, and woke up to find my wallet taken and that someone had given me a good kick to the ribs. Fortunately they didn’t realize the value of my sword. It left me in a bad place. I had no money for food or shelter. I had to take jobs that I now regret just to get some money.”
She finally stared at him, “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to understand that just because you’re defenses are weak other people don’t have the right to take advantage of them. What happened after I just left home says more about the thief than me.” He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, “Good night, Lina.”
She watched as he turned around and walked out the door. Seconds passed and she could hear him enter his own room. She dug into her mantle for treasure to sort. Think about the treasure, Lina! Focus on the treasure!
Instead she thought about what Gourry had said as she pulled a porcelain vase from her knapsack. It made sense when he put it the way he did. Logically she knew that the village idiot had demonstrated some remarkable wisdom. Emotionally she was having a hard time letting it sink in. If she hadn’t have left her door unlocked, if she hadn’t have gotten drunk, if she hadn’t have flirted like a barmaid…
If she hadn’t have flirted like a barmaid with a man she had traveled with chastely for three years! Anger surged through her veins. Who were they to “punish” her for it? And what business of theirs was it who she flirted with anyway? And what business of theirs was it if she got drunk? She hadn’t invited them into her room in the first place! Her grip on the vase tightened and it shattered in her hands, causing Lina to cry out in shock more than pain.
Fortunately her gloves had protected her hands. Unfortunately, the priceless vase was in pieces. She stared mournfully at it as the sound of Gourry’s door slamming reverberated through the inn, followed by the bang of hers opening.
“You all right?” he asked, hand on his sword.
“Yes.” She said, irritation permeating her voice, “I just broke a vase is all.”
He noticeably relaxed as he let his hand fall to the side. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
He made to leave and Lina found herself saying, “Gourry!”
He looked at her.
“Thank you.” She said quietly, “For caring.”
He smiled warmly, “Night Lina.”
“Night.” She said as she started to clean up the remains of the vase. Once done she left her stuff on the floor and climbed into bed. She didn’t bother to extinguish her light spell. It was childish, but she did not want to sleep in the dark. She closed her eyes, and tried to let sleep claim her.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo