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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land. Chapter Thirty Three ~Shishido~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Shishido decided he would be a good friend to Ohtori. A good friend to him because more than anything that was what Ohtori needed and the only real tangible thing Shishido could give him. He knew that once everyone found out about him and Atobe not being together anymore that anyone he associated with would possibly be in danger. He knew the kid would stupidly probably try to stay his friend not understanding the extent of the danger because he simply would not understand the reality of what happened at Hyoutei when you fell from grace. Shishido refused to put the kid in harm's way and knew he had to keep him at arms length.

So Shishido did his senpai sponsor job that Atobe assigned him to do. He went through the motions of school, tennis, and teaching Ohtori, and during his downtime he tried to just relax and pretend Ohtori was not there constantly watching his every move. It made Shishido hyper-alert to everything he did. His every move, gesture, and look were constantly being watched by the kid. Shishido also became hyper-sensitive to what he was wearing or was not wearing. He didn't want the kid looking at him like that and didn't want to encourage him to have those kinds of feelings for him since they weren't real. Shishido was not the kid's dead friend no matter how much they looked alike.

Shishido for some reason felt extremely protective of the kid. He wasn't certain why but he had learned over time to trust his instincts especially when they were this strong. It was more than the kid's sad story and it was more than the kid being gullible and naive, it was something about Ohtori as a person that made Shishido go out of his way to watch out for him. For the first weeks after they moved in together he watched the kid closely and he and Taki helped the kid get back on his feet. The kid got off the anti-depressants that Taki said were strong enough for an ox and with people around him and helping him the kid seemed to be pulling himself together.

All the while though, the kid constantly watched Shishido. Shishido knew people found him attractive. They always had. He had been hit on and told he was attractive for as long as he could remember. He was often called out and confessed to by men and women. He was frequently watched, checked out, and even stared at but not like...this. The way this felt was un-nerving because he was sure that the kid was watching him so hard and in some way scrutinizing him. As if the kid was looking so hard that he alone could see what other people couldn't and was exposing all of Shishido's flaws. He felt that he would let the kid down and he really didn't want that to happen. Yet he knew inside him that his every motion and movement showed the kid just how Shishido could never measure up to his lost friend and love.

Shishido could never live up to the expectations and adoration that seemed to radiate and watch him from bright, shining, interested brown eyes. The kid looked at him as if he found Shishido not only extremely attractive but also completely enthralling. It was only a matter of time before the kid found out he was just a guy and not a very good one at that. So he tried to discourage the attention. He was curt when he talked to the kid. Nice, polite, but abrupt. Pretty much how he was with everyone else. Shishido tried to dress fast and he wore way more clothes around the house then he had when he lived alone and even more than when he lived with his family. He liked to sleep in only underwear or nothing at all and with the kid around he found he was sleeping in full pajamas and walking around dressed in a shirt and pants all the time, even late at night.

Still the kid watched his mouth when he talked and his hands when he wrote. He felt eyes on him while he stretched out and warmed up at practice. He would feel someone looking at him in school and turn to see Ohtori blushing across a crowded hall or a busy dining hall and then the kid would look away. Shishido was so hyper-sensitive to the constant attention that he was getting clumsy. He was balancing the last bag of his favorite coffee, the last of the kind Atobe always bought for him, on his fingertips waiting for the beans to grind and he dropped it because suddenly he felt the kid walk into their small shared kitchen and watch him. He didn't hear him, he didn't see him, but once again he felt him there behind him. Shishido forgot he still had no shirt on after his shower. His hair was wet and he didn't want to wet a shirt or his robe so he forgot that one morning and left it off. He could feel the kid's eyes going over his skin, as if memorizing every centimeter of him. He felt more undressed and exposed than if he had been completely naked and more touched than if the kid really did touch his skin softly with his hands.

The bag crashed to the floor and beans spilled out everywhere. Shishido swore softly under his breath. He bent down to collect them and felt the kid's eyes move now to the back of his neck because his drying hair fell forward. He had a sudden chill as if the kid had put his arms around him and could almost picture the kid's mouth, his lips, and his tongue kissing and touching right there on the sensitive exposed part of the back of his neck. It was only for an instant but he could have sworn he felt warm breath there and he had a surprising rush of a thrill race through him. He went to turn and yell at the kid to not touch him or stand there, to at least help him pick everything up because it was the kid's fault he dropped them in the first place, but when he turned, no one was there. Shishido realized he must have imagined the entire thing. The perpetual looks and attention must be getting to him. He felt strangely disappointed and then even more annoyed.

Though as he looked around, he hesitated collecting the beans that were everywhere. There was no way he could afford to buy this coffee himself and hanging on to them, maybe trying to make them last was in a way he realized hanging onto Atobe. He decided was not going to eat or drink anything that fell on the floor, no matter how much he liked it. In disgust at this revelation and himself, he threw them all away, including the ones in the grinder and in the bag that had not spilled out and dressed. He bought a terrible cup of coffee on the way to class and told himself to deal and get used to it.

But Shishido discovered that someone had seen him. He didn't just imagine it. When he came home, among his things on his shelf in the refrigerator was a new expensive bag of coffee. A different kind than he had before but one he knew would be very good. Maybe even better than the one he liked from Atobe. This infuriated him although at the time he couldn't say exactly why. Maybe because someone had so seen through him, even before he saw things in himself. Shishido didn't need anyone's pity so he took the bag and tossed it up on the kid's shelf. Let the kid keep it and do whatever he wanted to do with it. Every morning after that when he got out of the shower, the coffee was made and some was poured hot, fresh, and waiting into his favorite mug. For two days, Shishido poured the full cup down the drain and walked away. He bought more horrible coffee on the way to class and suffered through it. The third day, feeling both desperate after another sleepless night and curious as to the taste, he took a sip of the hot, deep, rich, black coffee. He almost moaned aloud in surprise and pleasure at just how good it was. There was a flavor to it that he couldn't place and it was the best he had ever had. After that he drank the offered cup and never asked questions though it still annoyed him that every day it was just sitting there.

Shishido couldn't sleep. He had never slept well since he was about seven years old. Atobe when he discovered this did what he always did when he had a problem, he threw money at it to make it go away. He bought Shishido a bed that was supposed to be the answer to any and all insomnia. Of course Atobe had bought the expensive thing ostensibly for them both, and bought a double but Atobe had never actually slept in it. It was extremely comfortable, in fact it was nearly impossible to find an uncomfortable position, but Shishido still could not sleep. Rather than laying there tossing and turning after he moved in with Taki and Ohtori, he started watching television in their shared common area living room on the couch late at night and zoning out. Sometime during the second week after they moved in together, when he again lay out there nearly until dawn, Ohtori came out of his room after a while and started talking to him. They traded funny stories of teachers they had for an hour or so and then Ohtori went off to bed.

The next night Ohtori didn't come out and the night after that Hiyoshi was hurt. This all felt like such terrible timing. Ohtori was just starting to settle in and make progress when this had to happen. Shishido had watched Ohtori with Hiyoshi before the ambulance came. Ohtori was sure about how he cared for Hiyoshi. He knew what to say to him, and to keep him awake almost as if Ohtori was a doctor or a nurse or as if he had cared for someone much worse than that for a long time. Shishido hated to see Ohtori upset and the kid was probably had been terribly reminded of being in the hospital and caring for his dead friend. Shishido had no idea how Ohtori could stand even just being in a hospital and again remembered that Ohtori was stronger than possibly anyone Shishido had ever met before. As Ohtori talked to Hiyoshi he never let any of his own grief or distress show but it must have upset him. Shishido was certain Ohtori must hate hospitals probably even more than even Shishido did.

Atobe quietly took Shishido aside at the hospital and asked him first how Ohtori was doing and then how much Shishido trusted Ohtori. How much he could be trusted. Shishido had a bad feeling about it and told Atobe he trusted Ohtori completely. Atobe hesitated and then said he was concerned because the elders and their Coach told him this attack was not an isolated incident. There had been others but they were carefully investigating on their own without wanting to alert the media or the other tennis club members. Atobe ordered Shishido to not say a word about what happened by his oath and then Atobe asked if Ohtori could be entrusted even though he was not far enough along to give the oath.

Shishido was shocked. He knew what might happen to Ohtori. He would be dropped and asked to leave even though none of this was his fault. Shishido again repeated that he trusted Ohtori completely and he asked Atobe then to please consider carefully. Shishido said he would do whatever it took, he would even agree to pledge for Ohtori just so he could stay. He asked Atobe to please do this for him and tried to ignore the look of shock in Atobe's eyes. But Ohtori could be trusted and he deserved to stay. He needed this chance. Shishido was sure of Ohtori, and again felt completely protective of him, even if it cost Shishido in the end.

When they were home and Ohtori was in the shower probably scrubbing the blood off of him, Atobe called and asked Shishido if he was serious about pledging for him. Shishido was. He would put all that he believed in on the line for Ohtori. He understood that even Atobe probably would have to call in several favors to get this agreed to but Shishido knew it all was worth it if the kid could stay. Ohtori was doing well now and it would be crushing if he was sent home after something that was entirely not his fault.

In the end Atobe had said that if Shishido could get Ohtori to agree and understand, Atobe would try to clear it with the elders. He reminded Shishido several times that if anything happened and Ohtori messed up, Atobe would not be responsible for the consequences to Shishido. Shishido told Atobe each time he understood and repeated that he believed in Ohtori.

He had a long talk with Ohtori who seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and in the end by some miracle probably helped along by Atobe Keigo, the elders had agreed as long as Shishido put himself and his oath on the line. Ohtori could stay as long as he agree to the terms and Shishido was extremely glad. He felt that it was the right thing to do and that in some way, even if Ohtori didn't realize it, Shishido had done his job as his sponsor and his senpai well. Whatever happened from that point, Shishido was there when Ohtori most needed him. It made him feel really good. After it all went through, he and Ohtori talked for a while. They just laughed and talked about funny stories from their pasts and finally a very worn out Ohtori went to bed.

Shishido was still worried for him and watched him closely throughout the day. Ohtori though seemed fine. He brought Hiyoshi his meals and his homework and seemed to spend more time with the stoic guy than ever. Shishido felt a little annoyed by this but he couldn't explain really why. Sure Ohtori was busier than normal but Hiyoshi would soon be on his feet and things would go back to how they were before. It wasn't like Shishido was jealous or anything. Ohtori could be friends with whoever he wanted.

Shishido decided he was worried that maybe Ohtori wasn't burning the candle at both ends and doing too much. He tried to talk to Ohtori who explained quietly to Shishido that if things had happened as the rumors said they did, if Hiyoshi had been hurt while they were practicing, Ohtori would do all this. Plus he wanted to for his friend anyway. That was just how Ohtori was. He cared so he helped his friend. Ohtori didn't come out to talk to Shishido a lot that week probably because he was so tired. When he did talk to him, Ohtori only stayed a little while and then went right to bed. Shishido was glad that Ohtori was making friends but hoped he would maybe still want to be Shishido's friend. This thought made Shishido roll his eyes at himself. Ohtori was his little brother and they were roommates. It wasn't like he wouldn't see him or he missed talking to him or anything.

Besides the next week, Hiyoshi was back in classes and things did go back to normal. In fact that third week Ohtori did it again. He started coming out of his room later at night when Taki went to bed. He would sit down on the couch beside where Shishido lay and they talked for hours. It seemed that Ohtori would come out every other night and they would talk and laugh and swap stories.

But then the next week, Ohtori stopped coming. Shishido wasn't sure if Ohtori was tired or bored or if Shishido had said something that bothered him. Ohtori didn't come out for almost the entire next week and the two times he did, they only talked for a few minutes. Everything else seemed normal and Ohtori acted the same as ever, he just stopped coming by to chat the same way he had been. Shishido found himself thinking about him and now watching Ohtori for a change. He didn't know if Ohtori had found some fatal flaw in him and was now turned off with even being his friend or what. Shishido wondered if Ohtori finally figured out Shishido was very different from his deceased friend and lover and that was why he stopped. Shishido felt terrible.

He missed their talks and frequently would see something or think of something during his day that he knew if he told Ohtori, he would laugh with him about it. But Ohtori seemed happy and fine and as if he no longer needed to stop by and talk to Shishido. He found himself watching Ohtori quite a bit and thinking about it. It made him feel a little sad and for the first time in a long time, very alone. Their eyes would meet at school or tennis and Ohtori would smile and then go back to whatever he had been doing. He didn't seem to be watching Shishido as much either. Ohtori was obviously over his crush. It was annoying as hell but nothing Shishido could ask Ohtori about.

Towards the end of the week Ohtori was called down to the music hall one evening by their tennis Coach Sakaki who was also their schools music teacher and adviser. The call came just as Shishido was going over things with Ohtori. Ohtori dressed fast and neither Shishido nor Taki had any idea why Ohtori was called but they both told Ohtori to hurry. Their Coach did not like to be kept waiting. A moment after Ohtori sprinted off to meet him, Shishido's phone rang. Atobe ordered him to meet with him. Shishido threw on clothes now ran to meet Atobe dreading what this might mean for Ohtori. And himself but mostly for Ohtori. If he was sent home or thought he had some way put Shishido in harm, Ohtori would never forgive himself. The only minor consolation Shishido felt was that Taki was furious at being left out.

Atobe met him and they hurried over to the concert hall. "Tell me honestly how is he doing?"

Shishido said a little ruefully, "Ohtori seems completely recovered. He's doing well." Atobe turned to look at Shishido to see if he was telling the truth or perhaps to see what the annoyed tone in his voice was. When he looked at him, Shishido was surprised to find that Atobe was clearly worried. Shishido realized Atobe must know what their Coach was planning and he asked him what it was.

"A test. Hope like hell for your sake he passes." Atobe said and then opened the door to let Shishido walk in first. Shishido was worried for Ohtori, a little concerned for himself although he had complete faith in Ohtori, and then Shishido realized that if Ohtori failed that even Atobe would be held responsible. It was the Hyoutei way and they had every reason to worry. Atobe opened another door to the hall and they quietly slipped inside. They took seats in the back. The only other people who seemed to be there were Ohtori and their Coach.

Their Coach was sitting in the center about ten rows back and Ohtori was on the middle of the enormous stage. He looked small and alone and Shishido had to fight back another urge to protect him. The stage was brightly lit and Shishido could see even from so far away, Ohtori was nervous. Their Coach was intimidating and Shishido willed Ohtori to get through whatever this was. Shishido thought a little bitterly that if it was the week before then Ohtori would probably have been comforted if he just somehow knew Shishido was there rooting for him although silently. Now it didn't seem to matter because Ohtori was over his crush, but Shishido wished him fervently well anyway. He cared for Ohtori even if Ohtori no longer cared for him.

"...haven't played for several months." Ohtori was saying and it sounded like an apology. Even from here and walking in late, Shishido knew this was not going well.

"Then the piano." Coach Sakaki ordered but said it as if it was a suggestion.

"Yes sir." Ohtori smiled slightly, "I haven't played that either in several months so I am out of practice."

"Just do your best." Their Coach ordered. "Do you recognize the piece?" he asked.

Ohtori sat down at a jet black massive grand piano that was dwarfed by the large stage around him. Off to the right was a chair and a music case of some kind closed and sitting on the floor. On the piano was a computer screen. Shishido had seen them in his music appreciation class freshman year. Their school had all the most modern equipment and sheet music was considered very last century. "It looks familiar." Ohtori said after seeing it for a moment.

"Really?" their Coach said dismissing him entirely. Ohtori had just failed and Shishido had no idea how until the Coach said, "Its one of my unpublished original pieces." There was no way Ohtori could have seen it before and Shishido had no idea why he had lied. Shishido felt terribly let down by him and thought how deeply disappointed he was as Atobe beside him quietly sucked in his breath in a snarl.

"Its beautiful, Sir. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I've seen this piece before but it does look very similar to a Mozart piece I played with a friend last year." Ohtori looked completely earnest and sincere.

"Which piece?" their Coach was intrigued enough to listen to the answer. If Ohtori really was lying he would never be forgiven. This would be the end.

"We played Allegro Assai from his Piano Concerto Number Sixteen although we changed the piece and the arrangement for piano and violin only."

"Its a fairly obscure piece," their Coach said.

Ohtori surprisingly grinned, "That's why we chose it, Sir."

"Just a moment." Their Coach must have been bringing up something on his screen. "Can you play it as written?" He must have brought up the music for it. Shishido wondered how familiar Ohtori was with the original if he changed it. Shishido also realized that Ohtori must have played it with his dead best friend. He had probably not played since his friend was sick and died. This was more than a test. Shishido felt suddenly angry that Ohtori was being put through this.

"I'll be rusty as I said, but yes, Sir." Ohtori seemed to be telling the truth. He almost looked as if he enjoyed the challenge.

"Do your best," their Coach ordered. Music suddenly filled the room as if there was an orchestra playing. Shishido realized after a moment that it was a recording although Ohtori was playing the piano along with the recording. And playing it very well. It was a beautiful piece filled with light happy moments and the few slow somber ones were quickly dispelled by more joyful piano sounds and a swelling orchestra behind him. Shishido noticed that Ohtori's eyes were frequently closed as he played. He didn't look at the screen even when his eyes were open. He was able to hit every note without looking down either as if knowing where his hands would fall.

Then the background music suddenly cut out. It just stopped. Yet, Ohtori played on and to Shishido's surprise their Coach did not stop him. This seemed to be as much of the test as anything else. Ohtori continued playing and Shishido had a feeling that Ohtori had never heard the music in the background anyway. He was listening to him and his friend play in his mind and it was all he could hear. That was why he looked so at peace and happy right then Shishido realized with a sudden pang of surprising jealousy.

He would never have this with Ohtori and would never be able to share this with him. Shishido barely squeaked by music appreciation the year before and that was only because a girl who liked him helped him study for the final exam. Ohtori must have come towards the end of the piece and their Coach had turned back on the background swelling orchestra. Ohtori somehow kept everything perfect because he and the recording seamlessly continued together still. Ohtori reached the final notes, stood, and immediately and respectfully bowed to their Coach. "Please forgive my errors Sir, I am extremely out of practice." Shishido had not heard a single error but maybe someone who knew the music might have.

Their Coach turned to the back of the auditorium and said, "What do you think?"

"Adequate, but he needs to practice," Atobe said without missing a beat.

"I agree. One hour, three times a week, your choice of instrument. Prepare something else for me to listen to in a month," their Coach stood and Atobe and Shishido went down to where he was. "Well done," their Coach said to Shishido and then nodded at Ohtori. It was rare high praise that Shishido didn't believe was at all for him. Ohtori had done it all on his own but their Coach would not have respected Shishido if he protested at all.

Their Coach walked out and Atobe nodded at both of them and then left with him. "It was beautiful. Coach was very impressed," Shishido said feeling impressed and overwhelmed by Ohtori's talent.

Ohtori shrugged and smiled a little shyly. "You heard the whole thing?"

"Yeah, Atobe called me right after you left. I had no idea though."

"That I could play?" Ohtori asked.

"No idea about that either." Shishido smiled. He had meant he had no idea what the test was about but Ohtori looked pleased that he was there.

"Can you play anything, Shishido-san?"

Shishido smiled. "No, I have no musical ability at all. None. I wish I did though."

Ohtori laughed a little, "Everyone has some ability. Most people just never learned how."

Shishido smiled a little more. "I have none. I can't even play chopsticks. I'll show you." Shishido looked to see how to get up on the stage to join him.

"You have to go down into the pit and then around and then...here, I'll just help you up." Ohtori walked to the edge and helped pull Shishido up. It was higher than Shishido had first thought from the back of the room and took two tries for him to scramble up there. It was a good thing both of them were strong and in shape. Shishido felt bad that Ohtori dragged him up there and then he was going to be so bad.

"You're going to laugh," Shishido said and Ohtori was already laughing as they sat down. The hot stage lights suddenly went out leaving everything now only dimly lit. "Oh thanks, that's a big help," he said. Ohtori laughed a little harder.

Shishido put his index fingers on the keys and Ohtori laughed even harder, "This could be your problem, Shishido-san." Ohtori who usually blushed if their fingers touched when Shishido handed him a glass of water now confidently moved Shishido's fingers over to some other keys and they both laughed. "Here, I'll do it once with you." Ohtori said. Shishido was going to tell him he could probably try it himself but then he let Ohtori keep his hands on his and play it once through. They did it a second time then and Ohtori took his hands off and Shishido did it once by himself although slower. "Good. Again." Ohtori said and in the middle of Shishido's goofy poor rendition of chopsticks, Ohtori started playing with him. Like he played the Mozart thing. Shishido started laughing so hard that he couldn't play his stupid few notes anymore. Ohtori laughed with him but still was able to play.

"That is so unfair!" Shishido said and Ohtori laughed harder.

Ohtori stopped and Shishido worried that he hurt his feelings or something. But Ohtori had a strange little smile on his face. He looked...mischievous. "My best friend and I learned and changed that piece for our school graduation but know what we were going to really play?" Shishido shook his head no. Ohtori usually never talked about the guy at all. Ohtori laughed and looked excited, "Okay we were going to start out and be all serious with..." Ohtori played much like he had the first time. "And then when everyone was bored we were going to change into this..." he started playing another song. Shishido knew it but for the first few notes couldn't place it. Then he could. The Peanuts cartoon theme song. He looked at Ohtori in surprise. "Right in front of everyone, it would have been so great!" He laughed and kept playing. Then he shrugged while still playing, "We never got to, we ran out of time." then he looked surprised at Shishido, "I mean, we never got it ready in time." He then started doing the theme song a little more like a jazz song.

Shishido was very touched and very impressed at the same time. He wanted Ohtori to keep laughing and not think about things that upset him. "It was a very good thing you didn't play that just now for Coach Sakaki." he smiled thinking of how bad that would have been and Ohtori smiled back. Shishido wanted to keep talking to him and wondered a little more about him. The guy was full of surprises. "What else do you know?" Shishido said not entirely meaning music. He was a little in awe of him right then.

"I like this one a lot." he started playing a popular j-drama that Shishido liked but in a guilty pleasure kind of way. Ohtori must have seen him watching it late at night. But it was only on the third episode and if Ohtori hadn't played in a while how could he have learned it?

Shishido said, "How did you...?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just know it. That happens when I like a song. I pick up music easily, or maybe I saw it somewhere. I have a photographic memory for music. Once I see a piece or play it, I always remember it."

Shishido looked both ways to make sure no one was around and smiled. "Hey, you want to know what we did at our graduation? You can't ever tell a soul though." He laughed a little, "You really have to swear to never tell because they're still really mad. If they ever found out I'd be in huge trouble...but it was great." He smiled.

Ohtori stopped playing and leaned closer; he looked very interested and smiled wide, "Tell me Shishido-san. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone, ever. I swear."

Shishido realized that a promise like that with anyone else at Hyoutei didn't mean much, but with Ohtori, Shishido could believe him. Could and did. He could trust him. It was strange to have someone that you trusted in a place like this. Still, he knew even the walls here had ears. He looked around again, "All right, let's go home and I'll tell you along the way but you can't tell anyone. Not even Taki."

"I won't Shishido-san, I swear!" Ohtori stood and gestured, "It's faster out this way." Shishido laughed at Ohtori's eagerness and he laughed harder as he recounted the tale of his graduation adventure because Ohtori laughed so hard he was almost crying. Shishido had never told anyone before and it felt good to laugh it over with a friend.

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Learning to Land