The Spring Of Drowned Thief

Broken Joints and A New Kind of Knowledge

(Quick Note: This Fanfic is going to be pretty slow to start so please bare with me here. If you\'re asking why this is R rated you\'ll see later on, I\'m working up to it.)


Ranma left the school gates with Betty on his back and Akane at his side. They headed down the street; at a leisurely stroll which no one seemed to complain about. Even with the sudden rain showers in the morning, the day had cleared up beautifully, and every thing was a little bit damp giving a more filling color to their surroundings. The smell of the city nice and sweet with flowers blooming in peoples gardens. Ranma gave Akane a glance to see that cute smile on her face as the walked on. Ranma looked over at the local park to see the birds sailing in the air, so happy together.

He took another glance towards Akane who caught his eye this time. “What? Some thing on my face?” Ranma shook his head a little and waved his hands in front of him.

“No, no. Nothing like that. But you should do that more often.” Akane gave him a confused look and raised an eyebrow.

“Do what?” Ranma shook his head in disappointment,

“Nahh, you lost it. No point any more…” Akane smiled again.

“What are you talking about?” Ranma’s eyes widened and he jumped back and pointed with a huge grin on his face.

“THAT! Right there! You look so cute when you smile!” Akane went beat red, and took a few steps back with big nervous smile on her checks.

“Err, I… Wha-“ Ranma looked away a little bashful.

“Err. Sorry about that… Just thought I’d speak my mind. Every thing just looks so nice to me right now. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to see thing like that.” Akane bowed her head a little and gave a cute little giggle, and looked at him with the cute smile.

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I’m happy that you said some thing like that. Really… No one’s ever really said some thing like that to me, it’s just kind of new to me.”

Ranma raised and eyebrow and a smile.“That’s hard to believe.”

\"Well, the people that usually say are trying to attack me at the same time.\"

They both laughed a little as they came up to Dr. Tofu’s clinic. “Well, I think I’ll go in on my own from here, it’ll probably take a while any ways.” Akane nodded and gave him the smile again.

“Ok. I’ll see you at home them. Oh, and by the way. If Kasumi is coming to the clinic, get out of there as fast as you can, ok?” Ranma looked a little puzzled at this and asked,

“Is there some kind of problem?” Akane giggled a little.

“You could say that… Dr. Tofu becomes hysterical when she’s around. He’s really love-struck you know?” Ranma found himself smiling a little at this one.

“Great. I’ll keep that in mind. Any ways see ya.”

Ranma walked into the office to find the place completely vandalized. ‘Hmm. I’d say this was my work, but I’d remember doing this. I wonder if the Doc’s ok…’ Ranma went on his search through the office and eventually found the doctor in the back lying on a table vibrating.

“Doc! What happened!?” Tofu blinked out of his stupor and focused on Ranma.

“Ranma! It was horrible! After you left, some one stole Betty! I tore this place apart looking for her, but she had to have been stolen!” Tofu was grabbing Ranma’s shirt at this point and shaking him roughly.

Ranma carefully took Betty off of his back and gave it to Tofu nervously. “I uhhh, found this out side. Those damn kids eh!?” Tofu pulled out of his ramblings and pulled off an instant recovery.
“Ahh. Perfect, now I can get back to work.” Ranma smacked his head.

“What about your office Doc? It’s ruined!” Tofu gave a look around and rubbed his chin.

“Hmm, it seems you are right. I guess I’ll need to call some one to help me here…” After a few mins of listening to a doctor sounding like a deaf, yet happy, drunk on the phone, he returned wiping a bit of fog off of his glasses and took Ranma into the back.

“Well, lets see… May as well start with a standard check up and work from there. Could you please take off your shirt and sit on the counter?” Ranma agreed and did as he was told. After Ranma took off his shirt he gave it a shake and an astonishing 5-foot pile of random bits and bobs that came flying out onto the floor. The doctor gave Ranma a quick a suspicious look.

“I uhh, lost my book bag…” Tofu went over to the pile and pulled out 3 book bags.

“But they are right here…” Ranma was stumped this time. ‘Wow… I robbed myself and I didn’t even notice… I might have to start resorting to sticky notes from now on if I ever want to find my home work.’ The doctor did his best to ignore it and continue.

A bit of probing and a few cold instruments later Ranma was seen in perfect health.
“Well, you are certainly in sound health there Ranma. You’re eating right, and seem to be getting plenty of exercise. Do you have back pains at all?” Ranma gave a thought and answered,

“Hmm. Yeah actually, but only when I change into a girl, I’d ask if that’s normal but you probably haven’t a clue.” Tofu laughed a little at this and continued.

“No, I can’t say I have. Well, let me examine your female side this time. You can put your shirt on if you want to cover up, but I’m still going to have you unbutton your shirt.”

Ranma shook his head, and said, “Don’t worry. I trust you’ll be professional.” And with that Ranma found a convenient glass of water and changed. Tofu on the other hand was hoping Ranma would put on a shirt. Most women did anyways, but Ranma was not most women.

“Hmm. You seem to be in good health in this body too, and I think I can take a guess as to why you are experiencing back pain.” Ranma kept an open ear.

“You may not like this, but I’d like to suggest a bra.” Ranma’s response was simple this time.

“Pardon me?”

Tofu looked at Ranma with concerned eyes. “You may not like this either, but you are going to need to start up regular check ups with me. If you don’t start wearing a bra your back pain will only grow worse as you grow older. We also need to start addressing other issues.” Ranma looked up at him with a little bit of a depressed look.

“Like?” Tofu adjusted his glasses, gave a cough, and continued.

“Well, you probably don’t know a lot about feminine hygiene. This may sound a bit off, but have you ever had a-“ Ranma interrupted,

“A period?” The doctor adjusted his glasses again.

“Err, yes. Have you?” Ranma gave a look of pure shame and embarrassment.

“Ummm. Well… yes actually… It’s hard to come across hot water when you’re traveling in the wilderness all the time.” The doctor then went into question,

“How did you know you were having one?” The same bashful expression crossed over her face.

“Well, I started getting really mad at every thing because I had cramps, even some to the point where I couldn’t move, and I started crying over weird things. When I started bleeding I got worried, and started asking around. A nice old lady in the place I was staying, explained a few things to me and gave me a this book to read…” Ranma reached behind her back and seemed to pull a book out of thin air. Tofu made no comment and gave the book a quick flip through.

“Hmm, I see. This is all about all natural herbal remedies and various pressure points to help with the discomfort. It’s actually very advanced stuff. Do you have any more books like these?” Ranma nodded quickly with a pleasing smile plastered on her face. To Tofu’s surprise, she got off the table and took off her pants, and started to shake them furiously. Tofu started getting into the feel of things involved with Ranma and wasn’t too shocked when he saw quite the collection of books fall to floor. How Ranma succeeded in keeping all these mysterious things hidden and walk about with out any fail was far beyond the good doctor, but he just adjusted his glasses and accepted it instead of putting too much thought into it.

He started picking up books and reading titles and indexes. After scanning through a few he looked up from the pile towards Ranma and asked,

“Where did you get all these books? Some of these could be considered national medical, and historical treasures!” Ranma was a bit shifty eyed in her response and gave a bit of a half turn and a thoughtful smile.

“It’s amazing what people drop and leave lying about these days…” Tofu didn’t press the matter, but quickly started asking to borrow a few books. Ranma was more then eager to lend them out.

“Oh, sure thing! I’ve read them all any ways, so feel free to borrow them any time.”

Tofu became a little worried when he saw a few books the seemed to scream “Occult,” “Demon summoning,” and an autobiography about Michel Bolton. “All of these…?”

Ranma grave him a proud look and said, “Yup! Had nothing better to do on my way here.” Tofu looked a little worried but determined that Ranma was mostly harmless when it came down to it.

“I see… Well, your check up is fished with, but I’d like to see you again on the 5th for another check-up and we can discuss a few things you’ll need to be doing when in your girl form. Ok?”

Remembering the bra issue she tilted her head a little in defeat and answered, “Yes, doctor Tofu…” and she then started head for the door.

Tofu gave a bit of a cough to catch Ranma’s attention. “Clothes there, young lady.” Ranma realized that she was about to exit the room wearing nothing more then a pair of boxers and a smile.

“Hehe. Oh, yeah.” The clothes were on and the mess she had created with random objects was quickly stored away with out any indication of their existence. She stepped through the door and saw to her horror, a spotless clinic and humming Kasumi. Ranma felt a sudden chill run up her spine as the good doctor looked at an IV drip with fogged up glasses and a goofy smile practically shouting,
“Why Kasumi! What a coincidence meeting you here!”

Kasumi gave a worried smile and said, “Over here doctor.”

Tofu made his way over to the yukka plant and started laughing madly. “Oh my Kasumi! I didn’t see you there! Please would you like some tea and tell me why you are here!?”

Kasumi gave a sweet chuckle, “Oh, my! You must have forgotten again. You invited me over to help you clean up. I brought you a fruit salad. Would you like some?”
Tofu was nearly in tears. “Kasumi! I would be honored to share this with you!” He said, looking passionately into the water coolers eyes.

Ranma was stumped and was finding the behavior a bit odd. She could only wait until the doctor was a safe distance away from the door before she made her escape. That was when Kasumi blew Ranma’s cover.

“Oh my. Ranma are you sick? What are you doing here at doctor Tofu’s clinic?”

A feeling of helplessness ran through Ranma’s body as she felt death\'s hand fall on her shoulder,
“Oh! Oh! Oh! No need to worry about Ranma here! He, errr, she, errr, he’s perfectly fine.” And with each pat on her back she felt bones quickly fall out of place and her body started collapsing into positions that the human body wasn’t meant to ever experience. The only thing that could describe Ranma’s condition as Kasumi dragged her out of the clinic was, a full body twist-tie basket.

Kasumi strung Ranma behind her as she walked home with a smile on her face. “Oh, my. Doctor Tofu is so silly, don’t you think so too Ranma?”

Ranma rolled her eyes as both her backside and chest rubbed on the ground. “Ya know? I think he only acts like that around you Kasumi.”

Kasumi put her hand to her mouth and gave a thoughtful look. “My… I wonder why that would be?”

Ranma vibrated a little. ‘I hope she’s joking. Yes, she has to be. No one is THAT oblivious.’

Kasumi’s face saddened a little bit. “Maybe he didn’t like my salad…”

Ranma countered her own thoughts then. ‘Or I could be wrong…’ “I’m pretty sure he loved it, as well as every second he ate it with you... and the medicen cabinet.”

Kasumi cheered up. “You really think so!?”

‘Yes. Yes, some one CAN be that oblivious.’

Ranma sighed as she felt a splash if hot water hit her, turning him male once again. Ranma looked up in the direction of the water and saw the old prune watering her sidewalk again. Ranma had extremely mixed feelings this time. ‘By all rights I should be mad, but…. What the hell!? Does she come prepared or some thing!? She’s probably got a satellite on me!’ Ranma gave the old woman an evil glare as he and Kasumi rounded the last corner towards the house.

Once inside the house Ranma was placed in his room to recover. He grumbled for a while trying to figure out how he would get out of the position he was in, and as if on cue he saw Akane walking and shouted for her to come in.

Akane gave him a lazy look. “I told you to run if Kasumi was there.” Ranma gave a little bit of an irritated look and said.

“Look I was cornered and I didn’t want to hurt the guy, can you help me out here.”

Akane did a close examination of Ranma and asked, “How can I help?”

Ranma cracked a little smile and said, “Easiest thing in the world. You’re just going to have to hit a few pressure points on me and every thing should pop back into place.” Akane gave Ranma an unsure look but agreed.

“Ok, where are the pressure points?” Ranma quickly started instructing Akane on the procedure.
“Ok, take your left hand and put it across my right shoulder and start running your finger down the edge of my shoulder blade until I say stop.” Akane did as she was told as Ranma dictated where the spot was.

“There! Stop. Ok, now place your thumb there and move your pinky as low as you can.” Akane did so, but couldn’t seem to find the next point.

“Keep stretching Akane, you’re really close to it.” She shook her head “I can’t. Where is it?” She brought her other hand around and started feeling around, “There!”

Akane gave a pleading look to Ranma. “Ok, I was only an inch off. Where’s the next one?” Ranma continued.

“Its right on my chest. Right where my heart is. Use your right hand.”

Akane then gave Ranma another look and said, “Ummm. Don’t I need to hit these all at once?”

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “You can’t?”

She shook her head again. “Nope my hands are too small, I can’t get the two points with one hand.”

Ranma gave it a though, “Hmm. We have a problem then…” and quickly a stray glass of convenient water was seen on a dresser.

“There, on the dresser. I should shrink quite a bit. Turn me into a girl.” Akane did as she was told again, and soon her and Ranma were back in business.

“Can you reach those two back there?”

Akane nodded, “Yup! Where was that last one?’

Ranma was sitting in Akane’s arms as she felt every thing go back into place, but that wasn’t what she was focusing on. What she WAS focusing on was the very slight quiver of Akane’s hand on her breast. It didn’t feel so much as an average pressure point being pressed, but more of an intimate massage. Ranma was paralyzed, not really knowing what to do, and Akane seemed lost in thought as she held the cute redhead in her arms, while cupping her large soft breasts. For the second time that day, Ranma was experiencing mixed feelings at this close and personal attention, but didn’t really know how to go about it, so she sat there cradled in Akane’s arms, unmoving.

Akane’s thoughts were also filled with mixed feelings as she held the smaller girl. She started thinking thoughts that went against her feelings of right and wrong. She couldn’t help but think how eager she was to hold onto that last pressure point, and soak into it as much as she could. Her breathing became short and quick as she felt her wandering hand explore the treasure that they had found, little by little. Soon a twitch of nervousness went through her body and she felt the pins and needles of anxiousness, run through her hands, knees, and chest. Akane could slowly feel Ranma’s nipple becoming slightly erect, as if screaming for more attention.

This beautiful moment was ruined by the sound of a camera going off, and waking Akane up from her daydreams. She looked towards Nabiki, and then at the position she was in. Her hands had found their way to the small of Ranma’s back and a large portion of her left breast. The most notable item on this scene, other then the two young girls in an extremely questionable position, was that fact that the one with red hair and a pigtail was unconscious from shear shock and lack of motor skills. Akane tried to find words for this scene but found her mouth empty as she stared at Nabiki and her camera.

Nabiki didn’t even bat an eye as she turned and said, “My silence is pricey.” And walked off to her hidden developing room to enlarge some evidence to a poster size. Akane, still stuck in thoughts, gave the only solution she could to remedy the current problem.

“RANMA, NO BAKA!”


From across Nemera you could see an already unconscious redhead sailing trough the air and into outer orbit.

After roughly 10 mins of airtime Ranma was able to wake up to find herself up in the air with out a parachute.

‘Well, this is certainly unexpected.’ She could feel the mallet mark on the side of her face and made an assumption, based on that.

‘Hmm. That black dot seems to be coming towards me pretty fast… Wait… I’m heading towards the dot, which is starting to resemble a house.’ Ranma gave a thoughtful look and began to think.
‘Let’s see. I’m falling at about 9.8 meters per second, and am roughly 1500 feet in the air. Damn! I hate conversion! Any thing soft below? Nope. I have an option between a roof or a street…’ Through this information Ranma devised a plan to help her escape this. She positioned her hands into warding signs, brought her legs up and screamed.

“AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!”

As this didn’t really help physically, it did help her mentally prepare for impact. She went through the roof like a hot knife though butter, but with a lot more splinters and random destruction. About three floors down she finally stopped and was laying on a busted table making a strange moaning sound that resembled a frog croaking. A huge cloud of dust settled in the room once more as Ranma tried her best to stand. After finding her feet some where behind her head, she got up, shook her head and examined her surroundings. ‘Abandoned, by the looks of it.’

The choice of color in the room was brown, brown, and browner. Sheets were draped over the long abandoned furniture, and nothing seemed to have been touched in quite some time.
‘I wonder what all these stacks are?’ She moved over to where sheets were covering large tables with some thing on them. She pulled the sheet off slowly as the dust started to fly once again, and fill the air with dirt. The sheets seemed to be covering a mountain of old used books.

‘Hmm. Haven’t had any new reading material in a while… Well, I’m guessing no one will care if a take a few of these with me. Let’s see here.’ She started reading titles for any thing that might catch her eye.

‘Hmm. Necronomicon for Dummies??? What’s the index say? Demon Summoning. Raising the Living Dead. Mind Control. Body Possession. Poisons and Potions. Card tricks. Oooo! Card tricks! Yoink! What else…? Helloooo~! 3000 years of Amazon secret arts, you say? Yes, says I! HA, HA, HA!’ She pocketed a few more books the seemed up her alley as well as a few magic books that tickled her fancy.

‘Well, I guess if I need any more, I’ll just come back. No point in taking them all right now. I’ll guess I should thank Akane for tossing me here. It’s a damn gold mine!’ She plastered a smile on her face and made her way home.
It was a 3 hour walk.