Crazy

Chapter 4

I had become strong again thanks to my friends and I had gotten a few good lyrics together and we had a concert in spite of everything. Lots of fans showed up to support us still so I suppose Bad Luck wasn’t having too much bad luck at the moment.

We were performing at a club like normal and I was singing my song, when I looked out in the crowd, I swear I saw his face. It had been a month since I last saw him or spoke to him or did anything that had anything to do with him besides sing this song.

I stopped singing for a moment, not believing my eyes. Ryu nudged me and he started singing just as I started again. Everyone loved the song and the rest of the music we played. Our manager was actually nice to me when it was over because we had a full house.

I walked out into the parking lot, it was dark outside, I knew Ryu would be coming soon though. I had started living with him, something about his touch and those green blue eyes just seemed to pull me in. Besides he seemed so genuine, he told me he loved everything about me, unlike Yuki who criticized everything I did. I never would have thought Ryuichi cared that much for me. I was humming to myself and spinning my keys to our car on my fingers when I ran into someone taller than me, causing me to fall to the ground. I heard the all too familiar laugh. I looked at the black shoes and followed the legs up to meet Yuki’s brown eyes. He was wearing glasses and had a cigarette in his mouth just like always.

“You never look where you’re going do you Shuichi?” He helped me stand up.

I yanked my arm from his grasp. “What do you want?” I demanded to know. “Why are you here? To take more naked porno shots of me when I don’t know about it? Did you take pictures of me in the dressing room or what?” I said as I pushed on him and kicked my foot at his shin. He let me push him but he moved his shin out of the way. How come he’s faster when he’s so much bigger?

“No. I came to say how sorry I am,” he said as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

“Well that’s nice but I don’t think you can say anything that’ll make me forgive you.” He smirked. What was he smirking at? “What are you smirking at you asshole!?”

“Because you already have forgiven me, let me read this to you please,” he said, putting out his cigarette.

“Fine whatever,” I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe this guy. Ok so maybe I still go mushy for Yuki, I’m such a foolish naive person.

“Dear Shuichi

I know I broke your trust and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, nor do I deserve to have you back. I don’t expect you to forgive me. Once you were gone I felt so alone and then I knew how much I really wanted you. I know I’m a fool, but I had to try and see if you would forgive me. If not, I understand.

I love you. I realize I always have and now I see it’s too late for us to be together.”

*Love you forever*
Yuki Eiri Uesugi”

“Oh my God! That’s a bunch of bull shit!” Ryu exclaimed as he came out the door and put an arm around me. “Don’t listen to his bull shit baby,” he actually scared me when he spoke so suddenly.

“Holy shit Ryu, you scared me,” I said, but I hugged his side as well. I looked into Yuki’s eyes, they were pleading with me. “Very well Yuki. I accept your apology,” I said putting my hand out to shake his. Ryu gave me a very weird look.

“So does that mean you’ll come back to me?” he asked as he folded the letter and put it in his pocket.

“No, it means I won’t hold it against you for helping people exploit my body all over the TV and news and media. I guess you thought I had such a sexy body you needed to let everyone else see it. I guess it’s kind of flattering, plus life is too short to hold grudges and be upset all the time. Thanks to my best friends and my new boyfriend which, by the way Yuki meet my new boyfriend Ryu, they support me and love me for me so I’m stronger than you think, thanks to them,” I kissed Ryu on the cheek. “Well, goodbye Yuki. Have a lovely life.” I walked past him pulling Ryu along with me. For some reason I didn’t feel right doing that. My heart was telling me to do other things.

“I’m proud of you baby,” he said as we got in the car. He always drove since I was always so distracted. Ryu, I thought he was sexy, with that dark hair and those green eyes. He took my hand and kissed my knuckles as we drove. “Lets get some pizza, what do you think?”

“Hmmm that sounds good,” I agreed with a nod, he smiled and we headed to Pizza Hut. The concert had only lasted three hours, from five pm to eight pm.

We went home at about ten. Ryu had a very nice house. We kissed as Ryu unlocked the door, he was easy to kiss since he was actually more my height. We kissed until we managed to get to the bedroom shedding clothes as we went. I laid him back and started kissing his neck, he was shirtless by now. I kissed and licked all over his body. He had such a nice body. I kissed up his neck then gave him some deep kisses, flicking my tongue into his mouth. I sucked on his lip; I was so horny for him. I kissed down his neck and toward his penis which was a nice size; I took him into my mouth.

“Mmmm baby, suck that dick,” he breathed and pulled on my pink locks. I loved it when he did that.

I bobbed my head up and down on his penis until he gave a cry and came, I let it run to his ass. I put my hard penis to his opening; he held his legs over his head for me. I rubbed his cum around with the head of my cock.

“Hmmm,” I sang, closing my eyes, teasing myself. I couldn’t wait any longer; I dove deep into his world. I climbed until I was soaring high in the sky somewhere past the stars, that’s where you would find me floating. Then as I rode him, images of Yuki came into my mind. Though I never rode him, I still thought about him sucking me. That’s what got me off. “OHHHH! So tight, so warm!” I cried and burst inside of Ryu. I floated back down and opened my eyes, seeing it was only Ryu, I smiled anyway.

“That was really good baby,” he told me as I leaned in and kissed him. I let my penis slide out from inside of his hot hole.

“Yes, I do admit,” I smiled and lay down and gave a yawn. “Well that was fun, but I am so tired now,” he looked at me in disbelief. “I know it’s crazy but you really tired me out today baby.” He got out of bed to go clean up and I laid on my back thinking of Yuki. Ok so maybe Ryu was my rebound, shame on me. I know I’m a very bad person using poor Ryu like this, I’m no better than Yuki.

Well I guess I kind of am better… At least I didn’t take pictures of him while he’s having sex or black mail him. I just needed someone who could hold me, someone who wouldn’t leave me alone. I do try to make him happy but in reality, I still want Yuki, as crazy as all this sounds. I want him back and I want to live with him again. Why would I want this? To be with someone who doesn’t like me? Who used me and exploited me, who chewed me up and spit me out? Someone who stabbed me in the back? Besides, he has no emotions or a sense of humor…

This is why most people would call me crazy. Because I’m still in for it with Yuki; totally into him. Maybe he poisoned me or gave me some kind of drug that made me still want him after all the awful things he’d done. I didn’t want to hurt Ryu. He’s such a sweet man… he’s my age...

So why am I standing on this bridge looking over the bay waiting for Yuki? I’m the one who picked the spot so don’t worry; I didn’t think he’d bug it. Of course I was going to be very careful. I told him to tell me what he was wearing and I would come to him. I was leaning on the bridge watching people pass by wearing a black rimmed hat and a black jacket with a pink shirt underneath and black slacks. The hat covered my hair well so no one could tell it was pink.

There he was. He was pretty much dressed the same way as me only he is dressed entirely in black, cigarette hanging from his mouth. I looked both ways with my hands in my pockets as he walked past me. He didn’t even recognize me.

“Yuki,” I said very low from behind him, he turned around.

“Shu?” he began and I put a finger to his lips to stop him.

“Don’t say a word, don’t speak my name,” I warned. “Now follow me,” I continued in my low voice. Why was I going to these lengths and being this cautious with someone that I wanted to be with? You may think I was stupid and should have left him alone if I had to act like this, but like we already cleared up, I am crazy. So that ends that conversation.

I led him toward an old motel, I know it seemed like I was going to murder him or something. Like I was his mob boss. “Get in,” I commanded as I unlocked the door. He smirked and stepped into the motel room. “Ok now empty out your pockets,” I demanded.

“Shu…” he started to say my name again.

“Don’t do it! Don’t speak of that slut’s name again; if you say that whore’s name again I’m going to slap you.” Yeah so I called myself a slut, but I said it in a British accent… that was my accent for the moment. He turned out his pockets and showed me that there was nothing in them. “Now your shoes, let me look at them,” I said putting out my hand. He shook his head but did as I asked him. I looked in them to see if he had a little hidden camera or speaker anywhere. “Your shoes don’t have a recording device in them do they?” I wondered as I looked them over.

“No, they don’t, I promise. If it would make you feel better, if anything that happens between you and me shows up in the media, except the tabloids… they get people all the time, you can do whatever you want to me. I promise; you have my word on it.” He put his hand out to shake mine. I took his hand to shake, also to make sure there was nothing on that either. I don’t know how there would be…

“Ok, so there’s nothing on your clothes or anything?” I asked. “I’ll let your man know. Follow me, I’ll take you to him,” I said and left the motel room, leaving the key behind. I led him to another motel across town. “He’s in here, wait outside,” I told him. I went into the room and shut the door. He might have been re-thinking being with me since I was acting like a psycho.

I came out of the room now dressed in a black tank top and black shorts that only went to my mid-thighs; it kinda looked like a skirt. I was still wearing black gloves and I had a purple flower in my hair, I wore a silver bracelet for luck. “Oh Yuki! How are you doing? Come on in,” I said giving him a big smile

“Um… thanks.” He came into the room and I shut the door behind him.

“Well, I guess you know the reason I called you here. I really need to talk to you in private, which means you and me and not your friends with cameras or tape players or hidden lights or hidden speakers or bugs or whatever,” I said as I sat down on the bed and opened a bottle of Jack. I took a swig and gagged. Yuki started to laugh. “Shut up you ass hole,” I said wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you look funny holding a Jack Daniels bottle. I never knew you to be into hard liquor, from the look on your face you’re not.” He sat down next to me and took the bottle. “How did you get this anyway?”
“Hey, I have my ways of getting things so don’t you worry about how I get stuff. Anyway how would you know what I like? You hardly know me at all.” I crossed my arms over my chest and then crossed my legs.

“I know you more than you think,” he said, I had turned a little bit away from him. “I want you to know that I won’t hurt you again, I won’t be so stupid,” he said right in my ear. “I can’t live without you Shuichi. Once you were gone I knew that I had made a mistake. No really, I felt bad about the whole thing. That’s why I hardly spoke to you.” He pulled me to him from behind and started kissing me on the neck. “But baby, I’m really into you; I really do need you. That’s why I agree to do whatever it is you want.” He started to run his hand up my leg and toward my groin, I swallowed hard. I could feel my heart beat. I sighed and took his hand before he touched me.
“Well why do you have to be dressed so sexy? Wearing those shorts that show off your ass doesn’t help,” he said, looking at me lustfully, like he could eat me.

“Hey, it’s your fault you lost this,” I said crossing my arms, he was quiet after that. I so badly wanted to throw of my clothes and sit on him and have a good hot ravishing fuck. But I didn’t want to ruin anything over my teenage hormones.

Are you thinking I was still with Ryu? Don’t worry, I’m not cheating on the sweet angel. I told Ryu I needed some time to myself to think so I asked him if we could hold off on being a couple until I got my head straight. He would be the first to know once I got everything together.

“Yuki, why do you want me back, really? Is it so you can laugh at me again? Is this some kind of joke you and your media friends are playing on me to see if you can get me again? See how foolish and naive I am so you can go home and laugh with them and say you got that dumb ass slut Shuichi again?” I wasn’t able to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.

“Shuichi remember, you’re the one who called me up sweetie,” he said as he stood up and put a hand to my face. He rubbed the tears away and leaned in to give me a kiss. Oh, his lips were like a fresh breath to me. I felt alive again thanks to his kisses.

“Hey! Stop making moves on me Yuki,” I demanded pulling away. It was painful to do this because I loved his kisses. I wiped away more tears that were spilling down my cheeks and sat back on the bed.

“I’m sorry Shuichi. I’m just so happy to see you again and I just can’t keep my hands to myself.” He sat next to me again and put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

“What do you think I wanted to meet you for? Just to have sex?” I asked looking up at him. “You think I am a slut! You think that all I want is sex!” The tears just didn’t seem to want to stop.

“No I don’t! I’m sorry; I guess I’m the real slut since I’m the one thinking about this and not you.” He took my hand then knelt in front of me. “Shuichi Shindou, I beg you to forgive me,” he said as he kissed each knuckle.

“I do forgive you Yuki,” I replied, placing a hand on his head and stroking his blond hair then kissing it. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He looked up at me surprised as he stood up. “Oh, pizza is here,” I said as I put the bottle of Jack behind the bed, he smiled at me and sat back on the bed.

“Shuichi I think…”

I cut him off, “Hold that thought.” I grabbed some money and answered the door. The man looked a little surprised to see a boy dressed like a girl with massacre and eye liner running all at the same time.

“Holy shit!” the pizza guy jumped in surprise. What’s so scary about make up running I wonder?

“What?” I asked giving him the weird look now.

“Um, I was just wondering, are you the guy from Bad Luck?” he asked, trying to cover up his sound of shock.

“No, I’m just really obsessed with him,” I responded handing him the money and taking the pizza from him. He didn’t see Yuki sitting in the room.

“Well it looks like you might’ve been crying. I’m off after this, if you like I can help cheer you up,” he said giving me a big cheesy grin. He went to slide his arm around my neck.

“Excuse you but he’s taken,” Yuki said taking me by the hand.

“Oh my God, sorry, well good night then,” the pizza man said and rushed out of there like a cat with it’s tail on fire.

“The nerve, fucking pervert,” Yuki said as he shut the door. I sat the pizza down; it had pepperoni and banana peppers, mmmmm, yummy. So we ate our pizza on one of the two beds and started to talk. It’s amazing how deep one can get when eating pizza in a motel room. It’s amazing how cozy a body can get on a bed too.

“How are you and Ryu doing?” Yuki asked, sitting on the bed across from me with his legs crossed. I was lying on my side now eating my third slice.

“Um, we decided that I needed time to re-group,” I said giving him a grin, then I began eating my pizza.

“Oh, so how long were you with him?” he went on; he only ate like two slices. I’ve always loved pizza so I would probably finish it off. You’re probably wondering where it all goes. Well I think I have a very high hyper thing that burns food really fast. Or because I’m so hyper it just burns really fast so fat has no time to collect...

Anyway back to what Yuki was asking, “I was with him for a month and a week. I’ve been on my own now for about two weeks.” I had finished off my third slice and went for a fourth. I looked over at him and he was smiling at me watching me eat. “What is it?” I asked looking at him funny. I bet I had something on my face.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how sexy you are, that’s all,” he replied and laid down facing me, he placed a hand on my hip and started to rub my leg. “So how have your two weeks been without having someone?” When he touched me I almost for got how to chew. Which is not very attractive, especially when you’re choking.

I’m sure my face was red. “Oh I guess I’ve had a lot of time to think and it’s pretty peaceful on your own.” I gave him a weary smile; he knows I hate being alone.

“Fuck Shuichi, I’m so sorry I put you through all of this. I’m such a shit head!” He took his hand off my hip and hit the mattress in his frustration.

“I know,” I nodded and went for another slice. He put his face in the mattress and sighed.

“I don’t even deserve this. How can you stand to even be in the same room with low life scum like me?”

“Well I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t be in a room with low life scum. If that’s what you really are then I’m leaving and taking this pizza with me,” I replied as I closed the box, I was eating it all anyway and I paid for it so I was taking it with me damn it. “If you’re still going to be scum to me then I should leave. If that’s what you’re planning on doing again then you can fuck off Yuki.” I put the pizza on the table and wiped my hands off then laid on the other bed on my side and propped my head up with my hand.

“No I don’t plan on being scum to you again. You’re right; I should fuck off if that’s what I’m planning. I’m still sorry and I can’t believe you would be in the same room with me without wanting to strangle or kill me… You didn’t bring me here to kill me did you? Feed me my last super then slaughter me?” he asked, looking at me with weary eyes.

“No I’m not going to kill you. I just wanted to spend some time with you and see if you would show up on my terms. That way I’d know you didn’t stage anything on me and film me masturbating in the shower or something.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

“Listen Shuichi, I quit those guys alright? They’re gone, done for. I’m sticking to writing and publishing my own stories,” he explained as he took a drag on his cigarette. He blew the smoke out and tapped the ashes in the ash tray.

“Really? You’re not friends with them anymore?” I asked sitting up as he took another drag.

“No, they’re a bunch of fuckers. I hate them; they helped me hurt you so now I have nothing to do with them. I told the fuckers to fuck themselves up the ass with a screw driver side ways.” He took another drag on the cigarette, I watched as he blew the smoke out again.

“Wow, that would have to hurt to be fucked side ways… especially with a screw driver,” I commented, wincing just thinking about something so painful.

“Well yeah and it should happen to me too for my crimes against you,” he responded with the cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Only it would be on fire.” I smiled when he sucked in a breath.

“Oh Shuichi, ouch. But fair enough,” he nodded and also smiled around his smoke stick.

“Don’t worry Yuki. I said I forgive you, now shut up about it before I decide you’re right and leave. I’m on a crazy spirit right now so if you really want me, stop talking about how sorry you are and come over here and show me how sorry you are.” Ok so I was horny and I hadn’t had sex in TWO WEEKS!!! That’s a long time for someone like me. Hiro had been too busy with his other friends and work to give me friend sex. That jerk, I thought he was supposed to be there for me in my times of need.

Yuki grinned; I knew he would like the sound of that. He put out his cigarette. “Very well I’ll show you how sorry I am with everything I’ve got all night long.” He raised his eyebrows up and down, he stood up and my heart began to flutter like a humming bird’s wings.