The Forked Path

*Hi everyone. Here's the fourth chapter. I hope you guys are liking this although I can't really tell without enough feedback from reviews and votes (perhaps the lack thereof indicating I should stop work on this one and concentrate on my other fictions). So do let me know what your opinions of the piece are whether good, bad or ugly.

Cheers :)

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It was Saturday, shopping day for the Hitachiins. Mother had reserved this day to get more clothes for dolling us up at events and our dinner themes. She also used this as an opportunity to look around the shops for the latest fashion trends and inspirations. Father accompanied us due to mere curiosity and also to act as a chaperone to ensure that we didn’t spend all the billions we had in one day. It was also the day that I cherished most every weekend as mom and dad always left Hikaru and me alone to do our own shopping whilst they wandered off on their own. This was the only day of every week that I got to spend quality time with Hikaru. Well, minus all the nights we actually spend next to each other but, its different going out during the day. Although it wasn’t anything like a real date, since there were no butterflies in my stomach and no frequent blushing episodes, it was still a day I loved because I could feel completely comfortable and relaxed away from class, the club and Haruhi whilst having Hikaru by my side. So even if our relationship wasn’t that way, today was the day we could always fully enjoy each other’s company. It was also a day I could fully indulge in selfish thoughts by pretending that it was a date. *I’m sick.*.

Unfortunately, this Saturday wasn’t quite as pleasant as the ones I had before as Sunday was looming above my head like a dark cloud. In order to get that cloud to disappear or at least to stay hidden, I decided to focus all my attention on today’s agenda completely losing myself amongst the Guccis, Louis Vuttons, Armanis, Salvadores, Hermes and any other expensive boutique I could come across. I tried on every suit, every shoe and shirt that caught my eye and even dabbled in various chokers and accessories. I didn’t even realize I was going overboard until, “Kaoru, seriously, you’re not thinking that a shocking pink netted shirt with green tiger stripes running down it is a good fashion statement, do you?” I looked at the current piece I was holding onto and discovered that it was the most hideous outfit I had ever held in my hands. “Urgh!” I quickly put the abomination back on the shelf I had gotten it from.

“Hahahaha…” Hikaru’s laughter melted my uptight demeanor and I chuckled at my own stupidity with him.

“Luckily mom wasn’t here to catch you picking that one up otherwise she’d be throwing a fit!”

“Hikaru, seriously, she won’t and I picked it up by accident. The light’s a little dim and honestly, I didn’t see the stripes.”

“So it’s the pink that got you interested?”

*Shit! Why do I always get myself into situations like this?*

“No, I didn’t notice the pink either and also the fact that it was netted.”

“Kaoru, you had better be blind cause that lying trend of yours is getting me a little pissed-off, seriously.”

I turned to look at him and saw that he was genuinely beginning to look irritated. I could see that Hikaru was nearing the boiling point and was now mentally visualizing how he could pry those troubled thoughts out of me with a crowbar. At this point, I was sure that it had appeared to be a damn good idea to him. I decided then that a coffee would be the most welcomed disruption for the both of us. Suggesting that we take a break from shopping, we adjourned to one of the town’s most famous Italian coffee outlets located nearby. Hikaru had taken up my coffee offer gladly and I knew that he was hoping we would at least be able to talk about some if not all of my problems at the same time. I, on the other hand, had begun devising various methods in my mind to subdue his questioning.

Sitting at an isolated table, I decided to begin the conversation, as it was obvious that I couldn’t run very far from the situation and taking control of the conversation from the start meant that he wouldn’t be able to pry any further from where I was willing to let him.

“Hikaru, I’m sorry. I just have something I need to do tomorrow and I’m still not sure if I should do it.”

“What is it? You don’t have to rob a bank do you?”

“No! Of course not.” I replied.

“I was only joking about the bank bit to lighten you up.” Hikaru giggled.

“Ok then I won’t tell you what it is.” I pouted.

“I’m sorry ok, really.” Hikaru flashed his irresistible smile, the one that forced you to smile right back at him because his radiance lit you up so much that all you could feel was happiness and of course, ultimately, I gave in.

“Sigh.. I.. I’m going out on a date.”

Hikaru’s eyes widened at the mention of the word ‘date’.

“You’re going.. on a date? You mean one of those one-on-one things with someone you like… in the physical sense.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s quite the definition of what a date means but, yeah, you nailed it with the one-on-one bit. I’m going on a date.”

“With who?”

He popped that question just when I took a sip of coffee making me choke a little on my drink. *Fuck, I forgot that I would have to tell him who. Crap! Well, so much for evasion. I’m such a loser.*

“Erm, can I not say?”

“Must be someone we know then. Who is it? Don’t you even think I’m going to let you get away with this one.” *Damn it, you’re as smart as I am.*

“Sigh.. okay. But promise you won’t pass judgment on it.”

“Kaoru, I’m your brother. I think that automatically qualifies me for entitlements to pass judgment on your date making sure he deserves your love and truly loves you back.”

“Hikaru, this date doesn’t work that way. It’s a trial run, a first date.”

“Still, it’s a date nevertheless. So you’re saying you don’t like this person?”

“No, I didn’t say that.” “Stop reading my mind!”

“But you make it sound as if you’re really unsure of the whole idea of going out tomorrow and from your expression today, it seems clear that you really don’t want to go out with…h.. him.”

I glared at him as I had picked up the pause he left in that sentence.

“No, Kaoru. You know it was a slip of the tongue.”

“Hmpf.” I folded my arms across my chest and looked away, desperate to hide the hurt of him almost mentioning a ‘her’.

“But seriously, who is this person and is this the person that made you realize you were gay? Are you going to go further than just a date? You’re too young to make a decision and further more if you don’t like the person, I think you shouldn’t go. Further still, have you every thought of what mom and dad would say if they found out and…”
I slammed my cup on the table. “FUCK!”

“Just stop your crazy babbling for a minute! For crying out loud Hikaru, you were practically having verbal diarrhea and it’s so fucking un-cool! What’s your damn problem anyway? It’s not like I’m about to go and have a one night stand or something. So I guess you haven’t really accepted me, have you? Why the hell should I worry about mom and dad at all? They have two sons you know and just because you’re a minute older it doesn’t give you the right to nag at me.”

“Kaoru, that’s not how I meant it. I’m sorry if I started to nag. I was just…just… concerned!”

“Yeah, I get it.” I sarcastically retorted.

That sent Hikaru flaring into a rage. His eyes burning and sad at the same time he grabbed onto my wrist, “Damn it! No you don’t, Kaoru! You don’t get it!”

He let go of my hand. With that he got up from the table and left, furious. I felt extremely bad at that moment but I was fuming all the same. I was angry at myself for having let my guard down and my naïve sense get to me. I was frustrated that I had allowed myself to think that he was beginning to accept me as more than just a gay brother. I didn’t mean to piss him off but with every question he had asked, it appeared to me as a sort of interrogation, like as if I was someone he couldn’t trust and that was painful. I sat at that coffee table to what seemed like eons only to notice that the sun was once again beginning to set. As I got up from the table, I realized and inwardly applauded the fact that I had somehow unskillfully managed to avoid telling him who it was.

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We didn’t speak to each other for the rest of the day but we proceeded with our usual rituals with me fiddling at the desk whilst he relaxed on the bed. We even brushed our teeth side by side at our double basin bath room but didn’t even blink at each other. We walked around as ghosts and finally adjourned to our bed lying side by side each as though nothing had happened. As I lied there, I remembered how we used to fight. Our episode today wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. I couldn’t remember the last fight we had and I couldn’t recall what it was about but I had remembered us avoiding each other. I remembered the aftermaths because it hurt to be ignored by him. It still amazes me how we could both pretend the other was invisible so easily although we were side by side and hurting at the same time.

I was slowly drifting towards sleep being tired out from my thoughts until, “Kaoru… Kaoru?” I heard Hikaru whispering in my ear.

“Hmm? Whaat… sleep.. mm.”

“Don’t pretend you were asleep please I know you weren’t.”
I sighed and turned to face him.

“What now, Hikaru?”

“I still want to know who it is. It’s bugging me and I just can’t stop thinking about it until I know.”

“You’ll know tomorrow.”

“He’s someone I don’t particularly like isn’t it? That’s why you’re not saying.”

That was quite true. Kyouya and Hikaru were never really on the same side for a lot of things in the club and if I didn’t at least tell him before hand, things might get out of hand tomorrow and Hikaru punching Kyouya at our house foyer may not be one of the best ideas in the world at all. But of course, this wasn’t the whole truth and out came another half lie. *I’m going to be punished for all the lies I’ve told you one day Hikaru.*

“Hikaru, sorry. I didn’t want to tell you because you’re right. I haven’t decided if he’s someone I can really like.”

“So….continue”

“Itskyoya.” I said it in a clump hoping that he wouldn’t understand it.
There was dead silence in the room. *Not again! Why does he always have to be quiet whenever I deliver him unwanted news?!*

“Wait a minute, I heard you say Kyouya? That can’t be right. Say it again.”

“Don’t make me say it twice, Hikaru, its hard enough for me as it is.” And it was, I suddenly had a sick feeling as if I had betrayed him in some way but I couldn’t quite place my finger on what it was.

“Its Kyouya? He’s GAY?”

“Shhhhh!!! What are you trying to do? Wake someone up? Anyway, I guess he must be since he’s confessed to me about how much he appreciates my eyes.”
Hikaru muffled his giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

“Sorry I laughed but it just occurred to me. I have an idea. Wanna play a game tomorrow?”

“No Hikaru, not that again. You know how that pisses the both of us off especially when we find out that people can’t tell us apart. Kyouya’s a friend first and foremost over being a date and doing this to him will not only be rude but it’ll also hurt if we find out he doesn’t really bother to take note of our differences as one of our closer friends.”

“Oh so instead of hurting us as friends, I suppose he can jump straight into hurting and fooling you into thinking that he’s in love with your eyes and your own individual traits?”

*Sigh* “And I suppose you’re not going to let up unless I agree?”

“Of course not, Kaoru. I need to make sure that he likes you for all the right reasons.” *Oh great, so now he’s being protective because he’s my so-called older brother? Why can’t he protect me for the right reasons?! Argh!!*

“Very well then but don’t go overboard with it. Also, don’t be too surprised if he finds out that it’s you and not me greeting him tomorrow before lunch. He is a smart ass afterall.” With that he wrapped an arm around me and whispered a cheerful good night. I whispered back the same.

Placing one of my own arms around his waist, we both drifted off to sleep, in the warmth of each other’s embrace.