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He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh	By : DarkFae Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 3384 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: don't own durarara or anything about it. no casholas or profit from it either. just having fun!

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh

Chapter Four

Home Movies

A/N: a special shout out to the dveviant *moni185 on deviantart!! thanks for the inspiration!

Reccommended Listening: “I Do Not Want This” and “Starfuckers Inc” – Nine Inch Nails, “Slutgarden” – Marylin Manson, and for fun... “Boys on Film” – Freezepop. Cookie if you can spot the music reference.

(((Heiwajima Shizuo)))

Shortly after that accursedly blissful encounter, Shinra introduced me to Celty, that biker in black he was always hanging around. I didn't believe she didn't have a head for the longest time. Over time, we actually became pretty good friends.

I got a lot of comments on my hair, mostly from girls who dug the whole American look. I only saw Izaya at school whenever there was a major exam, and he was always on his phone, making deals, arranging people to his liking, playing games. I subscribed to his Twitter and Facebook and we chatted online a bit, but I wasn't big on sitting around at my computer, so it was fleeting, though intense when it occurred.

Kanra has joined the chatroom 10:24:22pm

Kanra: Good evening! Anyone here tonight?

Heiwaranbou: Just me. I was gonna log off, you're lucky you caught me.

Kanra: Oh how fortunate, I can give you my full attention.

Heiwaranbou: The hell does that mean?

Kanra wants to private chat 10:25:31pm

Kanra: It's been a while since I had my way with you, Shizu-chan...

Heiwaranbou: Yeah.

Kanra: Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it ^_^

Heiwaranbou: I didn't say that.

Kanra: Well either way, I'm not through with you.

Heiwaranbou: Is that so?

Kanra: Indeed! Aren't midterms coming up?

Heiwaranbou: What does that have to do with … you know, that?

Kanra: Oh... you'll see. LOL.

Heiwaranbou: Douche.

Kanra: ROFL

Kanra: Don't be such a stick in the ass.

Kanra: I've got way better things to put there.

Heiwaranbou: Quit it

Heiwaranbou: What are you plotting?

Kanra: I'm not teeeeeeeelling X-D

Heiwaranbou: I'ma block you

Kanra: Oh, you wouldn't do that.

Heiwaranbou: Why not?

Kanra: Because you love hearing me talk about my hot dick up your tight little hole you pervert >:)

Kanra: Oh? Gone quiet have you?

Heiwaranbou has logged off 10:29:02pm

Kanra: Goddamn, I love humans...

***

“Shizuo-kun, I can't believe you've gone three months without causing mass damage to either the school or yourself!” Shinra laughed as we headed down the hall to the vending machines for our lunch period. “I think that's a new record!!”

“Count your blessings,” I muttered, counting my change. Maybe enough for an energy drink to last me through the next round of testing.

“Has something been on your mind, lately?” Shinra inquired, walking backwards to face me.

Yeah. Lately I've been followed around by some tough looking dudes. The kind that Izaya got involved with, and it was unsettling. I've said it before and I'll stick to my statement: I hate violence. It just happens around me, no matter how I try to avoid it. I'd been fortunate to dodge that rage at the time and just kept my head down, but I wasn't sure how much longer I could avoid a fight. The last thing I needed was another injury.

“Shizuo-kun?”

“No, not really,” I lied, then stopped. Someone was in the chemistry lab, though the lights were off and no professor was to be found. “Go on, Shinra-chan. I'll catch up.”

“Uh... okay,” he replied with a shrug, then he waved. “Kadota-kun! Hey, wait up!”

I kicked the door to the classroom open with a scowl. “Don't make me … ….!”

“Don't make you what?” the figure asked coyly, turning from what he was doing.

“Izaya-kun!”

“Yo.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“What's it look like I'm doing?” he replied smugly, tying a balloon off and releasing it to the ceiling. I looked up. He had been at this for a bit because there were at least twenty other balloons floating up there.

“Either planning a party or huffing helium,” I guessed.

Izaya tied off another balloon. “Hmm. Close, but no cigar!” He pulled out his zippo from his pocket.

“Are you insane?!” I demanded.

He laughed maniacally for a solid minute, then he stopped and just smirked. “Absolutely.” As soon as he flicked the zippo, the balloon in his hand puffed out a cloud of flame that quickly traveled to the ceiling, igniting every other balloon that he had planted there. The ceiling burst into flame, followed immediately by the water spouts dousing everything in sight. Then the fire alarm blared.

“Wha... why?!” I demanded.

“Come on!” he laughed, grabbing my hand and running out into the hall.

Everyone in Raira was in a panic. The floor was soaked, students were scrambling to get out of the building and teachers were desperately trying to control the chaos. Izaya dragged me through the hallways and around stairwells and finally into a random classroom towards the basement. He closed the door behind him and locked it, and for a moment, it was pitch black.

I fumbled for a light switch and found one not too far from the doorway. The light was dim, but the equipment was unmistakable. We were in the AV room.

“What the fuck, Izaya?!” I demanded. “If you wanted to get out of a test, you could have just pulled the fire alarm instead of actually practicing arson!”

“Come on, that's no fun,” he said as he rooted through a supply closet. “That would have bought me a half-hour tops. No, a real fire means that the fire department and the cops have to show up, so no one will be allowed back in the school for hours, if at all today.” He poked his head back out of the closet wielding a small hand-held digital video camera. “Smile, Shizu-chan!”

I held my hand up, trying to block his shot to my face. “No way. You're making evidence and I am NOT going to be pinned as your accomplice!'

“Oh relax, I'll delete it when we're done.”

“Done? Done with what?! What exactly are we doing?”

His other hand whipped out from the closet. I didn't even realize he had a fistful of long cords in his hand until he shot them around to sweep my legs out from underneath me. He had my ankles thoroughly tangled. He sat down right on my chest, camera in one hand, flickblade in the other, wearing that evil grin. My face? Probably shock.

“We are making a few home movies.”

“You're kidding.”

Grin to smirk in a millisecond. “Does it look like I'm kidding?” I only saw his arm jerk. My shirt ruffled slightly from the air disturbance and once again, I was out a shirt with buttons. “Oh dear, it seems I owe you two shirts now...”

“Same trick twice, that's not like you...” I muttered, then I shook my head. “What am I saying?! If you were so hell bent on making porn, couldn't you have just invited me over to your apartment or something?! Get off!”

“Oh, I will!” he assured jovially.

“That's not what I meant! Get off my chest before I chuck you through that door!”

“You like it and you know it, or you would have done it already!” Izaya laughed. “And what's the fun in making porn at home? You can't get caught there...” He played with the settings on the camera. “Oooh, nightvision, like on that ghost hunting show...”

“I'm not doing this, Izaya-kun. Forget it.” I moved to shove him off.

He shoved the camera square in my face. “Oh come on, don't make me blackmail you.”

I froze. “Don't even...”

“You know there's a timestamp in the corner here? I'll bet they'll wonder what you were doing in the AV room while the building is being evacuated...”

I laid back and just stared at him in even more shock. Then I just laughed. I couldn't stop laughing all of the sudden. The hilarity was just too much.

Izaya's face went from evil schemer to intense curiosity. “What an unexpected reaction! Penny for your thoughts!”

“You set the fucking building on fire just to blackmail me into more sex?!” I demanded, still laughing. “You're a goddamn psycho!”

“Hmmmm that DOES sound a little stalkerish, doesn't it?”

“Just a little!”

Izaya rose to his knees and went back to evil genius mode. “Well I guess I do a lot of strange things, particularly to interesting people like you! Not like you're in a position to complain.” The only way I could describe his expression would again, simply be evil. Pure, undiluted evil with a splash of utter delight in being so goddamn evil. “Go on, Shizu-chan, suck my dick. We're wasting battery life here.”

I stared at him, jaw slack for a second. He really wasn't kidding, he'd set this whole thing up so he could make a dirty movie with me at school. I should have been really pissed or freaked out, but once again it just turned me on like all hell.

“We don't have all day, you know...”

I sat up and undid his jeans in a stupor, in utter disbelief that this was happening. “I'm going to kick your ass, someday, Izaya.”

“I like it when you talk dirty,” he replied, keeping the camera focused on me. He was already rock hard, I barely had the zipper undone before I was greeted by the erection. Man, he got off on weird shit. “Say, how many YouTube hits do you think we'll get?”

“You must have a humiliation fetish,” I sighed, swallowing the lump in my throat. You better NOT put this on YouTube, you cheeky freak...I hesitated for a moment, then took his member in my mouth slowly, trying not to gag. I very quickly felt bad for any girl that had ever given me head – Izaya was of pretty decent size, and I had him beat by an inch. I had a hard time getting it down without choking, but I guess it was fortunate that Izaya was patient with my inexperience.

“Ah, oh yes Shizu-chan, just like that...” he hummed in delight. The camera shook in his hand. Fingers from his other hand were running through my hair rhythmically, the flickblade pressed against my ear. And then he went off on a rant as I pleasured him the best I could, so I suppose I'd done a good job. While I explored the skin of his cock with my tongue, he just spouted off on that human-love crap.

“Mmmm, you've got it all wrong, Shizuo. It's not humiliation I get off on, it's the whole human race that makes me wanna come! They laugh, they cry! They lie! They die! Then they crawl back into this... fiction of existence! I wanna know everything! I wanna be everywhere! I wanna fuck everyone in the world! I wanna do something that MATTERS!! OH GOD, Shizu-chan! Sh... Shizuo! OH!”

I had picked up speed even though my jaw was aching. His frantic words didn't make much sense, but the emotion behind them was compelling. I wanted him to get off, and I didn't care if it was via humiliation or gauging the human reaction – I was going to be the one to send him over the edge. Me. That'll teach him to blackmail me...

As he stammered my name in the last moments of his tangent, the hand running circles on my scalp promptly clenched a fistful of hair. I knew what was coming, so I spit it all out at the last second and took the money shot to the face instead. I completely chickened out – I couldn't bring myself to swallow it.

Izaya didn't seem to mind at all, in fact he half moaned, half laughed and made sure he got a good shot of his come all over my face as he caught his breath, almost red in the face with his excitement. “HAH! Who would have thought you were so good at giving head, Shizu-chan!”

“You did, apparently.”

He leaned down and actually licked some of his own come off of my face, then kissed me deeply. His lips were warm and soft, though the contact was forceful and a bit frantic as he pushed his tongue against mine, forcing me to taste what I hadn't swallowed.. I could feel him shaking – the thrill had really done him over one. My own skin buzzed with similar excitement. We could still get caught...

His phone went off, this time the voice of some internet meme character chiding “Woo-hoo! Alright! Somebody sent me a text message!” So he paused and checked the text. Then he rose and made sure he looked acceptable. “Welp! That's all for now, Shizu-chan! See you later!”

Izaya threw the camera at me and darted out the door. I checked the footage and shook my head.

He hadn't even been recording.

**end chapter four**

**Preview Chapter Five: Chaos Theory**

The doors slid open. My palms got sweaty again as the elevator took me up those nine floors. No, I'm not going to back down on this one, I was thinking. I'll beat him into submission if I have to...

Izaya called for me to just come in when I knocked, so I clenched my fists and went in the the lion's den, ready for a power struggle. He was at his laptop on the couch, and he looked up with a smile and a witty greeting on his lips.

Which was quickly knocked right off his face by my school bag, heavy with several textbooks. He tumbled to the floor, and stayed there on his hands and knees for a moment, holding his bloody nose in surprise. “Whoa... ow! This is unexpected...”

“Stay right there, Izaya-kun,” I told him, shrugging off my jacket. “I'm gonna fuck you. And you're going to like it.”
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He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh