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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 39
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- 41
Learning to Land. Chapter Forty ~Mukahi~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Yuushi was too much of a mystery for Gakuto's comfort. He couldn't get the tensai out of his head and all of Gakuto thoughts kept turning into erotic sex act after erotic sex act after erotic sex act all centered around stupid Yuushi. Extremely stupid because Yuushi wouldn't have sex and he wouldn't come for some weird stupid tensai stupid Yuushi stupid lovey stupid reason! He felt a little frustrated.

The more Yuushi didn't want to have sex, the more Gakuto wanted him. Gakuto was used to getting his way, especially when it came to seducing someone. Especially when that someone had already said they wanted him! But the more Gakuto tried, the more Yuushi resisted, and the more frustrated Gakuto was. Gakuto attributed his failure in the beginning to him not having seduced anyone in a long time. He figured he was just out of practice after just trying to live through Sato's sick pleasures, but now it looked like the truth was Yuushi didn't want him after all.

When Gakuto had gone to sleep in his own bed, after stupid Yuushi kicked him out of his, Gakuto wanted Yuushi. Really wanted him. It bothered him that Yuushi wouldn't let him reciprocate. It was strange that it bothered him too. Gakuto used to often wish that someone would just please him all the time, make him feel good and not hurt him or expect anything back. That was what Gakuto thought an ideal lover would be like. Gakuto had wished for that all the time when he was stuck with Sato. He had wished for someone to care for him completely and expect nothing in return. Now he had exactly that and he was annoyed to discover that it really wasn't enough. He wanted more. Probably because Yuushi didn't pressure or demand a single thing, Gakuto wanted him.

At first it stung his pride when Yuushi rejected him, but now it hurt Gakuto physically also because with Yuushi being stubborn, Gakuto decided he wouldn't come either. Big mistake because when he tried to make the tensai feel good too, when he tried to be nice and please him, Yuushi said no and made him go to his own bed. He had been feeling frisky and playful and warm and happy and then he was sent off to sleep alone. Gakuto had felt very alone when he was kicked out of Yuushi's bed. More alone than he had felt in a long time and he blamed it on stupid Yuushi. He tried to yell and Yuushi but he wouldn't let him back in. Feeling mad, Gakuto had sent a few choice curses Yuushi's way before laying down in his own bed. He had even cried a few hot, angry tears out of confusion, want, and frustration with his back turned to Yuushi and didn't make a sound. He'd even had sex dreams all night and this was all stupid Yuushi's fault.

They were weird dreams too. Yuushi trying to make him go pee. Yuushi walking around carrying him. Yuushi telling him it would be all right and he loved him. But the one he most remembers was this weird one where there were two Oshitaris. One was busy figuring out something with prime numbers at his desk and the other kept getting both himself and Gakuto close but not letting either of them come. In his dream, just before he almost came a ninth time but wasn't allowed to, he asked the Yuushi bringing him close why and both the tensais said calmly and at the same time, "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." Gakuto remembered he was mad that even in his dreams neither one of the stupid Yuushis made any damn sense to him.

Gakuto went to sleep very hard and woke up harder. He opened his eyes. He looked and saw it was very early and he was somehow in Yuushi's bed with Yuushi's warm, strong arms around him. He forgot all about the angry tears he had cried in frustration a few hours before. Yuushi was there and holding him and hard and Gakuto wanted him. He decided to take action and moved very slowly starting with just slipping his hand down Yuushi's pants while he licked one of the tensai's nipples with warm wet laps of his tongue. Oh yeah. Even Yuushi's skin tasted good and clean and...smart. Like some kind of soap and warmth and sex and swirly kisses. Gakuto wanted him even more. He thought about again how good Yuushi would feel inside him; the good sexy Yuushi who was in control and all turned on. Gakuto knew Yuushi would feel really good being inside him, really deep inside him and kissing him in that swirly way as they both came. The same way Yuushi had been so good with his mouth and his hands last night, their sex would be good and hot like that. Maybe even better. Gakuto almost made a noise of want at his thoughts and knew he had to calm himself down. Just thinking of doing it with stupid Yuushi could bring Gakuto close.

Gakuto had to be quiet. Very quiet or Yuushi would wake up too soon. The last thing he wanted to do was to wake Yuushi before he was ready to come. He was going to quietly bring him right to the edge, so close Yuushi couldn't even stop him. Yuushi would wake up when he came. Maybe he could make Yuushi come inside of Gakuto if he was really good and moved very slowly. Hah! Damn, wouldn't Yuushi be surprised? Then Yuushi couldn't say no he was fine because he would already be there. He'd be surprised and he'd be pleased. How the hell could he not be? Gakuto was great in bed. Yuushi would love him...no, no. Hell no. Because what Gakuto meant was Yuushi would love it. It. Sex. He would love the sex. Not him.

Anyway Gakuto felt a little thrill at being so bad and wondered how hard he was gonna make Yuushi come. He also wondered when the last time the tensai came was. Sleeping together two nights in a row at least physically seemed to be affecting the tensai. Every time Gakuto checked Yuushi had been constantly hard. It had to hurt by now not coming, Gakuto had come and he was achy from holding it in from the night before. Stupid Yuushi. They were guys. They weren't supposed to hold it in. Gakuto was tempted to check down there to see if the tensai was an odd shade of blue or purple. If it was, hell it was Yuushi's own stupid fault.

Because the damn tensai wouldn't have sex and he wouldn't come. Gakuto couldn't understand that at all. Gakuto was willing and Yuushi seemed to want him. A plus B equals C right? What the hell? Gakuto decided to test several of his suspicions as to the cause of this. He first thought maybe Yuushi had a physical problem. Gakuto had his hand on Yuushi's nice large erection so that wasn't the problem. That worked. He gently moved Yuushi's foreskin all the way back exposing his erect tip so pain from that wasn't the problem. Check two. He felt Yuushi's tip was wet so it wasn't anything like that either. He could get it up, he could pull it back, and he could come. It wasn't physical. So Gakuto had no idea what the problem was but he wanted it to stop. He spread the wetness from Yuushi's tip with his hand and used it to help stroke the tensai softly as he snuggled closer to him. Damn he really wanted him and he really wanted him to come.

Gakuto wondered what noises Yuushi made when he came. He was curious to know how he looked. If he made any stupid faces or yelled anything out. What he tasted like. If he liked it hard sometimes and if he moved in fast jerks or slow strokes. Mnnn. He liked thinking about that. He wanted to know what positions Yuushi favored. What he tasted like. If he liked to kiss during and after. If he was into any other kink and what else he had tried or wanted to try. What he tasted like. Well, Gakuto could sort of know that right now if he moved slow enough to not wake him.

He moved slowly down Yuushi's body pausing from time to time to check if Yuushi seemed to move or breathe differently. The tensai didn't move and Gakuto decided he wanted to taste him. Even just a little, just to see what it was like. Gakuto licked at his hard tip and took it in his mouth. He licked at him with his tongue feeling and tasting him. He noticed and enjoyed feeling how Yuushi's body was responding to his touch even in his sleep. Gakuto thought about finishing him off that way and then he changed his mind.

He wanted more. Gakuto reluctantly stopped and moved back up so he could kiss Yuushi after he climbed on him. He had decided. He wanted to know how it was with Yuushi and how rough or gentle the tensai was. He was curious to know if Yuushi would kiss him in that swirly way when he came and maybe after. If Yuushi wasn't too angry at him for some strange stupid Yuushi reason after Gakuto made him come that is. Gakuto touched him with his hands and started to stroke him gently. He was trying to figure out how to reach over to get the lube he saw by Yuushi's bed but then Yuushi stirred in his sleep. He held Gakuto closer to him and still seeming asleep, the tensai absently and lovingly kissed his forehead. Yuushi snuggled closer and made another one of those little humming noises as if just being this close to Gakuto had him completely happy and content. Gakuto froze as the tensai settled down, holding him closer.

Now Gakuto felt bad for what he was gonna to do. Maybe the tensai knew and tricked him into stopping, but maybe not. Gakuto waited a long time for Yuushi to wake up or let him know he was awake. But the tensai didn't move any more and Gakuto wondered if maybe Yuushi never slept the night before. Maybe he really was tired. Gakuto waited about three more minutes to make sure Yuushi was really asleep and not tricking him. He sighed, snuggled closer to Yuushi, and took his hands off Yuushi's erection. He instead touched the soft, warm skin on his chest and felt his muscles there. He felt Yuushi even sleeping move to hold him closer and Gakuto listened to Yuushi's strong and steady heartbeat. He tapped his leg impatiently like he did in class when he was bored and needed to move. He realized he was doing it and stopped so he didn't wake Yuushi up.

Damn, Gakuto wanted him. He really wanted him but Gakuto figured he could just lay like this and listen to the sound of Yuushi's heart a little longer. It was very early after all. The sun wasn't even up yet. Gakuto pressed himself up even more against Yuushi and put his arms more around him. A moment later he tentatively wrapped his legs around Yuushi too. He may as well get comfortable. Yuushi was probably awake and faking all this stupid lovey crap anyway. Any moment now Yuushi would probably kiss him a little more or say something stupid about Gakuto touching him first.

Well, if stupid Yuushi was faking and was awake and if he said anything about Gakuto holding him back, then Gakuto would tell him he felt tired. Yuushi was just warm and holding him tight. It wasn't Gakuto's fault he felt tired and that was all it was. Gakuto was just getting comfortable. Hell, he didn't even know how he got into Yuushi's bed. It wasn't like it meant anything stupid or lovey by it. Not at all. If Yuushi was faking, Gakuto would tell him to not be stupid or think stupid things anymore. He just liked sleeping next to Yuushi. Well, hell no, it wasn't exactly Yuushi he liked sleeping next to. Don't even think about it, he thought to the stupid tensai. It was more that Gakuto was sleeping next to a body that was warm and strong and felt nice who just happened to like to snuggle with him. And kiss. And might be really good in bed if they ever did it. It was just nice. Okay? And nothing to make a big deal out of or anything. It didn't mean anything. If Yuushi was awake and faking all this and made fun of him, Gakuto decided he would have to yell at him. And maybe punch him. Maybe more than once. It would serve Yuushi right for being so stupid, annoying, and frustrating.

Gakuto rested in the tensai's arms and waited for Yuushi to wake up so he could yell at him. He filled up the time listening to his heartbeat and feeling his warmth and trying to remember not to tap his foot. He never even noticed how soon it was that he fell back asleep.

The next time Gakuto woke up, he could feel stupid Yuushi watching him before he even opened his eyes. It was morning and bright and sunny outside. The sun was streaming through the window and Gakuto thought they would need to put a shade up or it would wake them up early every day. Wake him Gakuto meant, not them and the thought of using a term like 'them' really annoyed him. Yuushi could do whatever the hell he wanted. Gakuto didn't care if the sun woke Yuushi up early. He probably got up early every day to think tensai thoughts and do stupid tensai things anyway.

Gakuto opened one eye a crack and looked at Yuushi; he was already annoyed and hating the lovey stupid way Yuushi was going to be looking at him all moony. Yep, Gakuto confirmed when both eyes were open, Yuushi was looking at Gakuto all serious, all goofy, and all lovey. Yuushi's mouth softened when he saw he was awake and his lips curved slightly into a smile in a very annoying stupid Yuushi way. Gakuto went to tell him to cut it out when Yuushi put a fingertip softly to Gakuto's lips. Gakuto rolled his eyes and said, "Yuu..."

Yuushi pressed his fingertip down slightly to silence him. Gakuto decided enough of this and went to suck on Yuushi's finger. He parted his lips and took it wetly in his mouth, and he licked it with his tongue like how he licked Yuushi's tip a little before while Yuushi slept. Yuushi gently took his finger out of Gakuto's mouth and he didn't make that good happy Yuushi humming noise.

Gakuto checked Yuushi's eyes and felt confused. It was the good Yuushi, the hot and sexy one so he had no idea why Yuushi pulled away and didn't like it or make that good noise. Yuushi then put his wet fingertip back on Gakuto's now closed lips. He slowly traced Gakuto's lips with his finger and concentrated as if whatever he was doing was important and he wanted to remember this. The tensai was supposed to have a photographic memory and could remember things forever just from looking at them once. Why didn't his brain just take a picture of his mouth and then he could have it for-freaking-ever and could stop bothering Gakuto?

He again went to tell Yuushi to cut it out but when he moved his mouth, Yuushi again took his finger away until Gakuto stopped. Gakuto sighed. He decided to see what stupid Yuushi did next because the tensai was wrapped around him laying kinda on top of him. Yuushi put his finger back on his mouth and started at the beginning again. Gakuto realized he would have to wait until Yuushi was done doing whatever stupid thing he was up to. He sighed through his nose so he didn't move his mouth again and rolled his eyes.

Gakuto thought maybe at the very least, Yuushi would kiss him all swirly when he reached the end of his lips but the tensai didn't. When he was done with whatever he was doing with Gakuto's mouth, he took his finger gently and slow over to Gakuto's jaw. He carefully traced Gakuto's jawline by sliding his fingertip down along his chin and up the other side in a soft caress. Then Yuushi started on his hairline. Gakuto hated his hairline. He had a widow's peak and used to get teased when he was really little about being a witch. In his second grade classroom they were learning about other cultures and holidays to celebrate Halloween properly and not just dress in costumes and role play. Their teacher put up in their classroom a big picture of a witch with a big huge widow's peak on her forehead under her big black pointy hat. The other kids had not been nice about it and Gakuto had worn bangs every since. Yuushi continued tracing his finger along his hairline and over to his forehead where the scar was. It was just a few centimeters in length and ran up into his hair. Gakuto kept it carefully covered so no one could ever see it. It would turn pink and then red when he got annoyed or when he practiced and ran really hard. If people ever did notice, he would always say he was in a car accident. It shut them up fast when he said that but most of the time people never noticed or asked.

Or touched it.

Yuushi was touching it with his finger. He looked deeply into Gakuto's eyes, still looking all goofy and lovey and serious, and touched his scar. No one had ever done that before. Gakuto felt himself tense up. He didn't like this. Not at all.

Yuushi held him a little closer with his other arm that was under Gakuto and embraced him. He smoothed his hair off his forehead and exposed his scar more. Yuushi moved softly to press his lips to the scar. He moved up it slowly kissing along it, loving him along it, and Gakuto suddenly couldn't find his breath. It caught in his chest and stuck there hurting. His eyes were stinging and he put one hand to his eye to rub the tears away. With his other hand he pushed Yuushi back off him.

Yuushi held him close though and wouldn't let him go. He gently took Gakuto's hand away from his eye and softly kissed his closed eye. Yuushi kissed his other eye and while Gakuto's eyes no longer stung, that painful ache was lodged tight and stuck in his chest. Gakuto hated how ragged and pain soaked his voice sounded as he said, "No Yuushi, I don't...you can't..." Yuushi kept kissing his eyes, he moved to his cheek, and then moved to kiss his jaw as if he knew the exact places where it had hurt so much. Gakuto suddenly remembered that Yuushi said he had seen the hospital report and must have tensai photographed everything in his head. He intended to kiss Gakuto everywhere he was hurt almost like he was kissing the wounds away. Almost like he was going to replace things that hurt with love and show Gakuto how much he loved him. Gakuto realized with a cold chill that Yuushi was gonna make love to him.

Really make love to him.

Gakuto couldn't let him do this. No way. He couldn't because if Yuushi did this and left him or hurt him like everyone else, Gakuto knew he wouldn't survive someone doing that. A person can only take so much hurt in one lifetime after all. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair for Yuushi to do this to him. Yuushi was going to try to take all the anger and pain Gakuto had away. Yuushi was going to try to take it away and replace it but it wouldn't last. No one would love Gakuto enough or like that to make it go away and stay away. When Yuushi left Gakuto, he would have nothing to hold on to anymore and would be lost. Pain and anger up until now were good companions to have because they were always there. They made you sharp and kept you strong. When these feelings of love stopped, more pain and anger would be left behind. But once you knew love, really knew it, pain and anger were no longer good companions that kept you strong. After love left they turned bitter and hurt worse than if you never loved. Gakuto's strong survival instincts were screaming at him to stop this from happening but he felt frozen in fear and pain. All he could think was this wasn't fair. If stupid Yuushi was such a genius, he should know all that. It wasn't fair.

Gakuto felt that old familiar feeling of anger slide back into place to save him from these new emotions that frightened him. He pushed Yuushi away, "Stop it." Yuushi looked at him surprised and he explained, hating how upset he sounded, "Stop making me think about it! Stop making me remember! You know. So what? Don't you get it, Yuushi? Nobody knows. So I never think about it. I never remember it. Never! It happened a long time ago. It only hurts when I think about it and I never do. Stop making me think about it! Stop it Yuushi!" Yuushi looked at him a moment and then kissed him in a soft way but it wasn't swirly or sexy and Yuushi made no noise. Yuushi went back to kissing the scar on his forehead again. "Yuushi! Knock it off! Didn't you hear me? What's the matter, Yuushi? Did you forget to pay your brain bill this month?"

Yuushi kissed his lips softly again. He said in an offhand way, "You already said that one two days ago, Gakuto." Yuushi kissed his scar again and Gakuto was stunned. He never repeated a joke twice in the same semester. Never. He rarely repeated one in the same year let alone a couple days ago. Yuushi knew it too and looked at Gakuto as if sizing him up. "I'll stop if you tell me when I came to the bathroom door and saw you last night doing that to yourself, why were you afraid?"

Gakuto shrugged, "Wasn't." What the hell was stupid Yuushi talking about? No way did he know anything.

"Did you think I was angry at you?" Yuushi asked and kissed his scar gently.

"No." Gakuto had no idea what this was about. Stupid Yuushi, but at least him talking was better than what the tensai was gonna do. All that lovey stupid crap.

Yuushi looked deep in thought a moment before asking, "Who else has seen you do that?" Gakuto shrugged. "Sato?" Yuushi asked and Gakuto was pleased to see that Yuushi looked jealous.

Gakuto thought, No, Stupid Yuushi, guess again. He shrugged, "I don't remember."

Yuushi asked again and Gakuto worried if the genius had seen something. Kind of like how Atobe saw things no one else did. Flaws you thought you hid, Atobe could see. He really worried Yuushi could too when he asked, "Why did my seeing you do that make you afraid I would hurt you? Who else has seen you do that?" Gakuto shrugged and hoped Yuushi would drop it. "Gakuto...?" Yuushi asked and kissed his scar again.

"You wanna know? Then you'll stop? Fine. They saw. Before they hurt me. All right?" He was furious at Yuushi because Gakuto kinda knew that Yuushi already had tensai figured out the answer. He already knew the answers and was wasting Gakuto's time asking questions. It was annoying and he felt even more angry because Yuushi wouldn't let him get up and leave. He wouldn't even let Gakuto push him away. He held Gakuto gently but firmly and refused to let him go. "Look, another kid I knew asked me to show him how. He said he didn't know how it was done and he wanted to try it. It was all a set up. Everyone must have been hiding. They planned on it from the beginning and there was nothing I could do and no one came to help me." Gakuto wondered if Yuushi wanted the same story he had told the shrinks and he said it by rote, "Sorry, I don't remember everything. I remember most of it up until someone hit me here..." He pointed at the scar where Yuushi had been kissing him, "to stop me from crying and screaming anymore. Then I don't remember anything until I woke up in the hospital. You happy Yuushi? You know. Now let me go."

"What did they hit you with?" Yuushi looked cold and angry but not at Gakuto. He still wouldn't let him go or stop this though.

Gakuto shrugged, "A baseball bat." He looked at Yuushi and decided to push him away with words since he wasn't strong enough to get away physically, "After they used it in me they beat me almost to death with it. Happy? Are you done yet? Now can I go?" Gakuto was really annoyed at the million questions.

Yuushi kissed him but his eyes looked like they were a thousand lightyears away in thought. He was quiet for a long time before he asked, "What is your earliest memory?"

Gakuto was confused, "From when I woke up in the hospital?"

Yuushi smiled a little, "I meant from when you were little, but yes, I'd like to know that also."

Gakuto now smiled slightly. It was kind of a funny story and he had never gotten to tell anyone before. "I was in a coma for two weeks and they were gonna put a feeding tube down me because they didn't think I was gonna wake up for a long time. I'd had a fever for days and wasn't doing well. I guess it was a big thing and my Mom was really upset. The night before they were gonna do it, I woke up and was hungry. I didn't know where I was or remember anything but my Mom was there. She was sitting on a chair and leaning on my bed. Her hand was holding mine and she was sleeping. I said, 'Mommy? I'm really hungry. I want karaage and a milkshake please.' She couldn't believe it and started crying and hugging me while my Dad ran out to go get a doctor."

Yuushi smiled back at him, "You woke up after two weeks and wanted fried chicken and a milkshake?"

Gakuto nodded and laughed a little, "Yeah, I had no idea why she was crying or acting that way and I was mad at her acting so stupid. I was really hungry."

Yuushi asked him, "What kind of milkshake?"

Gakuto rolled his eyes. The tensai knew him enough by now to know what his favorites were, "Strawberry, Yuushi!"

"Of course. I should have known." Yuushi smiled a little more, "And what is your earliest memory?"

Gakuto felt that pain lodge tight in his chest again and he shrugged, "I don't know. I'm not sure. I remember things but they are...all...out of order. Maybe I only remember them because there's pictures or videos of them. Birthday parties, first day in school, vacations, but I don't know if I remember them for real or because I saw the videos and the photos. I forgot more than I remembered when I woke up. It was really hard. Like I remembered my Mom but not her given name and I didn't know how old I was or our address. And I remembered that we had a dog but not her name or that she died. I thought she was still alive. It was all jumbled and confusing."

Yuushi smiled slightly, "But you remembered you like karaage and strawberry milkshakes?"

Gakuto shrugged, "Yeah, but I didn't remember that they were called strawberry or that they were pink."

Yuushi was quiet for at least a minute, maybe two. "Would you like to know my first memory?" Gakuto shrugged. Yuushi was offering up the information as if it was a big deal and Gakuto could not figure out why. His instincts for getting data were screaming at him to listen although he found it strange that the tensai would think this was something important. "I was three. I had to wear diapers at night because I had been wetting my bed..."

Gakuto had to interrupt that, "At three? You? A genius wetting his bed..." He went to laugh but Yuushi looked both embarrassed and annoyed by him. Both were strange expressions from the tensai so Gakuto smiled but held in his actual laughter.

"It was preferable for me to stay in bed and urinate there rather than getting up." Yuushi said all haughty as if Gakuto was too stupid to understand. Well, damn, Gakuto didn't understand and Yuushi paused before continuing, "If I woke up or moved around, then my tutor would know I was awake and would...bother me." He looked meaningfully at Gakuto as if he should understand what he meant by that. Gakuto didn't. "I...I didn't know if you knew." Yuushi explained and sounded strangely strained.

"Knew what?" Gakuto was curious.

"My...my past, my information." Gakuto shook his head no and felt intrigued. Yuushi blew air out of his nose as if clearing his head in a big sigh. "My earliest memory is waking up at that age with my diaper removed from me...and my genitals were..." Yuushi paused and seemed to try again, "...they were in my tutor's mouth."

"What?" Gakuto asked before he could shut himself up.

"My parents hired a tutor who lived with us soon after they discovered my...abilities. He molested me nearly every day until I told my parents."

"Damn Yuushi! How old where you when you told? What did your parents do? What happened?" Gakuto was shocked. He never imagined this. He had no information about anything like this with Yuushi.

"I was around ten. That's when they sent me away to school in Europe." Yuushi told Gakuto in a dry monotone about his parents being upset with him. Ashamed that this happened to their bright child, they sent him away. Yuushi told him about the guy's bogus marriage, him leaving his wife and child, stalking the tensai, and about his suicide. Gakuto didn't know how to react to all this. Usually he asked questions as he processed new data but Yuushi was telling him everything before he could even think. Yuushi told him how he was usually alone growing up and his tutor had been his closest friend and his worst enemy at the same time. He told him how he was relieved when the man killed himself because that meant it was finally over. He also told Gakuto that originally the guy had planned on killing Yuushi before himself but the insane wacko didn't. Instead he the guy had blamed Yuushi for everything that happened. He pinned it all on the tensai as if a three year old is that big a sexual temptation for a guy in his twenties who is supposed to care for the child. He explained to Gakuto that the guy did it to try to hurt him and even though he would be dead, his tutor was still trying to control and hurt him. In a way the tensai said the guy succeeded because Yuushi's parents were never the same to him and he was sent away to Hyoutei.

Gakuto was shocked and wondered how you get through something like that. He felt angry at stupid Yuushi's apparently stupid parents for not noticing seven or so years of abuse. He was mad at the bastard for hurting Yuushi and he was annoyed at Yuushi for telling him because it made Gakuto feel for him. Then Gakuto realized why Yuushi was probably telling him. To make him feel something. Gakuto dismissed the thought. It was too simple for Yuushi to just do that. Yuushi wouldn't want sympathy. Maybe empathy to show Gakuto he wasn't alone in having something bad happen. Gakuto wondered for a moment if it was worse having what happened to him that bad just once or having it happen slowly over and over again with no one to help you.

Gakuto had an idea, "That's why you don't wanna do nothing. That's why you don't wanna have sex. That's why you don't wanna come." Yuushi looked surprised as if he hadn't expected Gakuto to go there right away. "Can you?" Maybe it was something wrong in Yuushi's head that he couldn't.

"I believe I can, occasionally I have while sleeping, but I never have with someone, no. I came only once by myself when I was around nine. I've tried to get into tantric sex and let my body reuse what he was stealing from me. I refused him all the time but he would threaten me until I gave in. The only kind of way I had to resist was by not coming. You know I've had sex with people but even then I came dry and didn't have a full orgasm."

Gakuto was stunned, "But...damn...don't you wanna? I mean, you'd be winning from however much he messed you up if you do. Sex isn't like a drug you can just stay totally away from or like someone who is addicted to gambling who just doesn't go to a place to gamble anymore. It's part of being human, its a physical need, like food. If someone poisoned your food you can't never eat again." Gakuto almost smiled. See? He had listened during all those years in therapy. Even Yuushi should be impressed.

"Of course I want to, I just want to be with the right person, and in control." Yuushi said and his brow creased a tiny bit in thought.

Gakuto said without thinking it through, "But Yuushi, you can't control people. Even if you think I'm the right person, you know you can't control me. Especially me. I make a mess out of things. It's how I am. I push people's buttons and make them react. It's never going to be perfect and you're gonna make mistakes. Things are gonna go wrong and that's part of the fun." Gakuto shrugged, "I made mistakes. I chose to date stupid bastard Sato and thought he loved me. Everyone has bad things that happen in their life but whether it makes them bend or break is up to them. It's not what happens, it's how you deal. And yeah, I know, I'm not perfect or over what happened, you don't have to tell me how screwed up I am because I know, but you can't be happy like this Yuushi, and you don't have a bastard like Sato forcing you to put up with it anymore. Unless that bastard tutor of yours messed up your head worse than you told me."

Yuushi gently touched Gakuto's cheek and smiled. He looked at Gakuto for a long moment as if he was pleased with him. "Thank you. I know all of this and you're absolutely correct. There are three reasons why I told you this. One, I want you to know. Not to feel sorry for me but to know. Its only fair because I know about you and I told you I would give you all the information about me. Now I have. Two, I want you to understand why I haven't come and that I know it has to change. And three, to say...I'm very sorry."

"Sorry?" Yuushi sounded like he was leaving Gakuto or letting him go. Hell, he'd been dumped before and it was no big deal but this was how it usually started. But this was wrong. It felt wrong. Gakuto's heart suddenly filled with fear like it had when Yuushi was going to make love to him. Yuushi was seriously going to dump Gakuto despite everything he had said. All the love he had insisted he felt meant nothing. This made Gakuto furious because here he was being nice and Yuushi was going to break up with him. And they weren't even going out! And they hadn't even had sex yet!

The tensai smoothed Gakuto's hair and said, "I've treated you terribly. You see, my tutor never had sex with me although he did everything else with me and forced me to do everything else with him. When I started to refuse to come he would milk my prostate and use that to try to convince me I enjoyed it."

"Milk?" Gakuto was confused by the term.

"He didn't want anyone but him to touch me and became convinced I was cheating on him when I stopped having orgasms and didn't come. In fact, towards the end, I couldn't even get an erection around him or from him. I didn't want to. He would use his hand in me which involuntarily made me erect and then massage my prostate which would make me ejaculate but not orgasm. He didn't want me to have any wet dreams even because he thought they would be about the lover I never had instead of him." Gakuto shook his head in awe. "He never had sex with me because he insisted I come to him and tell him that I loved him. Then he promised to make love to me. Yet, he forced me to do all these other things I didn't want to do." Yuushi looked at Gakuto seriously, "He was a very sick man. He never loved me and I never loved him. But I do love you. My saying I wouldn't have sex with you until you loved me and it was making love was very wrong. I didn't realize I was doing to you what he did to me and I'm so very sorry. I'll go today to Atobe and tell him..."

Gakuto hit him. He couldn't even stand to hear the rest of what stupid Yuushi was going to say. He punched him right in his stupid face. "Shut up! Stupid Yuushi!" In a flash he got out of bed and dashed across the room to the bathroom. He tried to slam the door shut but Yuushi was suddenly there blocking the door. He caught it just before it slammed shut on his hand.

"Gakuto, I'm sorry, you don't know how sorry..."

"Fuck you Yuushi! FUCK YOU!" Gakuto was crying although he couldn't say why. He was just reacting and felt completely lost and angry. Stupid Yuushi went to say his name again. "You don't love me you twisted fuck! You don't! Because if you loved me you would never...!" Leave me, Gakuto was about to say and it shocked him to his core. He was going to say, Because if you loved me you would never leave me. Hell no he wouldn't say that to Yuushi now! He couldn't. Instead he said, "Go away Yuushi." Gakuto sank to the wet bathroom floor not caring that it was cold and he was getting wet. "Just go away. Leave me." He fought back his tears with anger and held his anger in place to protect himself.

"I do love you, Gakuto." Gakuto decided he would never talk to Yuushi again. Ever. Screw him and screw this. This hurt worse than Sato physically hurting him. "If I loved you, I would never what? Gakuto, tell me. If I loved you, I would never what?"

Stupid Yuushi could wait all day for an answer because Gakuto wasn't going to give him one. Not ever.

"You're not talking to me?" Stupid Yuushi said sounding annoyed. Hah! Served him right! "Don't you feel its a bit puerile?"

Stupid Yuushi could use big stupid words all day. Gakuto wasn't going to ask him what they meant anymore. Instead he stood up and took off his wet underwear. He threw them hard into the corner where they smacked with a satisfying splat. He picked up the shower sprayer and began to wash Yuushi's good smells off him. He scrubbed his skin hard until it was red and he ignored that Yuushi was standing there watching him and waiting for him to say something.

"Gakuto? Please?" Yuushi begged. He said it again louder and then sighed, "Fine. I won't do anything until you've grown up enough to hold a conversation with me like an adult." Gakuto said nothing and he felt Yuushi still standing there watching him and waiting as if he had no idea what to do. Gakuto then realized something about Yuushi. He never really had gotten to be a kid and had no idea how to respond when someone else was. With Yuushi still watching him he finished showering and went to get a towel. He ignored that he was freezing, shivering, and covered in goose bumps. He also ignored the towel Yuushi held out to him and got one on his own. "You're still not ready to speak to me? You won't even tell me what's bothering you? You're just going to be childish about this?" Wrapped in a towel, Gakuto went into their room and began to get dressed for practice.

Yuushi stood there as if stunned and apparently still had no ideas on what to do yet. Gakuto got his things together and noticed he would have to hurry or he would be late. He never said to Yuushi that he had to hurry also. He never said anything. Let the stupid tensai get dropped because he didn't know what to do when someone was ignoring him. It was damn Yuushi's own damn fault.

Gakuto gathered his things and went to walk out the door. Oshitari went to block him and must have noticed the time. "Wait for me. I'll only be a minute. Please? We can talk along the way..." Gakuto stood there as if he agreed but the moment Oshitari moved to throw on clothes Gakuto nimbly sauntered out the door and away. He heard Yuushi calling for him down the hallway as it shut behind him. "Ga...!"

Gakuto didn't speak to Yuushi for the entire day. Yuushi tried to make him talk. Gakuto even skipped lunch to avoid him and didn't see him until afternoon practice. Yuushi tried to go out of his way to be more obnoxious than normal to bait Gakuto but he didn't take any of the many lines tossed his way. Everyone who saw what was going on laughed right at stupid Yuushi for being so stupid to not know what to do when someone completely ignored you. It was one of their funniest bits ever apparently but neither of them was laughing.

He knew he looked cool and collected on the outside, but inside Gakuto's stomach was churning like he had eaten something bad. He had a headache and felt exhausted all day. He tried not to think about what Yuushi had said. He tried but he failed. It churned through his brain like the acid that was simmering in his stomach. What he had told Yuushi. What Yuushi had told him. What Gakuto had been through. What Yuushi had been through. He tried not to even look at Yuushi but the stupid tensai would not leave him alone. Atobe actually had to make the tensai run laps for continuing to bother Gakuto and then sent Gakuto after him even though he had done nothing. Gakuto ran far behind the tensai feeling both furious and sick.

Yuushi tried to run slower and slower to force Gakuto to run with him. Gakuto refused and then decided that even that was some kind of communication with Yuushi so he put his head down and started running at his own regular pace. He didn't have the stamina Yuushi did but he was smaller and faster. He was given fewer laps and knew he would soon out pace Yuushi but the tensai kept up with his fast speed. It surprised and infuriated him.

Strangely Yuushi didn't say a word. Not even sorry about making Gakuto run. Gakuto's stomach continued to mix in a bad way and he felt angrier as with each step. Angrier and now somewhat dizzy. Several things Yuushi had said were spinning around and around in his head. Or was it in his belly. Or was everything spinning. He wasn't sure. Gakuto went to hop up a curb they passed and felt that familiar feeling of soaring through the air.

He never felt the ground.

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for reading, enjoying, and reviewing:)

Ok, I know we've been at Hyoutei for a while and I promise we'll get caught up with Seigaku shortly. I may change the chapter order before the story is completed to make between the two schools flow smoother. Right now Hyoutei needs to get caught up with Seigaku in the timeline. They will be soon.

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Learning to Land