I Believe in Happy Endings

When I got up the next morning, there was a tray of breakfast on the dresser next to my bed, with a rose. I wondered why Yuki hadn\'t come for me, but ate alone anyway. I showered quickly then headed downstairs. Maybe I could fine him….if I didn\'t get lost in the monstrous mansion along the way.

Luckily, he was in the kitchen with Mika. They looked up when I entered.

Once Yuki saw me enter he quickly turned away from me, but I got a glimpse of his bloodshot eyes. Mika nodded at me shortly, then patted Yuki on the back and left us alone.

Yuki said, not even turning around to face me, “I\'m sorry. I didn\'t mean for you—I mean, I knew you wouldn\'t like it, but…”

“I—its ok. I\'m fine.” I lied, not moving to touch him. I was devastated. Is this what sex did to a person? A part of me wanted to reach out and comfort him, but another part wouldn\'t let me.

He turned around to reach for me. I backed away shakily and almost fell. “Please---don\'t”

“I\'m sorry,” he said again. “I\'m sorry.” He whispered again. “Maybe we need some time apart. You can walk around anywhere on the grounds if you like, you know. If you need anything, just ask someone.” He hurried by me, trying to hide his face; however, I saw his eyes shining with tears. I felt horrible, but my body was rejecting him now and I couldn\'t help it.

I didn\'t feel like doing anything that required thinking, so I wandered around outside for a while. I sat on the edge of the angel fountain, just staring at the water. Eventually I realized my face was wet---from tears or the fountain, though, I couldn\'t tell. Had we ruined everything we\'d had together? Would I have to go home now? No, just thinking of being separate from Yuki made my heart hurt…maybe if I….

“It doesn\'t have to be over,” a voice behind me.

I spun around, jumping to my feet. It was Tatsuha. “Don\'t be cruel to Yuki, even though he is an ass to me when you\'re not around, but he likes you a lot. Cybersex isn\'t anything like the real thing.”

“Then why do it? Why does it exist?”

“Oh, lots of reasons….if you\'ve ever wanted to sleep with a movie star, there you go. If you\'ve wanted to have sex with more than one person, but been afraid to take the step…Oh, you get the idea. But for people like you and Yuki, there\'s no need for all the virtual crap. Oh, for Kami\'s sake, boy, stop crying and just go do what your heart tells you. Go to him tonight---if not for sex, then for love.” (A/N: I honestly dun see Tatsuha saying that 2 him….without a scheme behind it….hmm…ok I shut up now)

Did I love Yuki? My feelings for him were much stronger than I wanted to deal with for the time being. I loved his companionship, of that I was sure; and I hated myself for hurting him. And though the thought now terrified me to the core of my being, if having sex would heal the wounds I\'d made, then so be it. I was willing to sacrifice anything for his happiness, just to have things the way they were before. Maybe we could just talk, and I\'d make myself stop cringing when he touched me.

That night I carried through my fragmented plan. It was after midnight, so I was pretty sure he\'d be in his room. I started for our joint door, but changed my mind about the talk-it-over part of my idea. I really didn\'t know what to say. So instead I took off all my clothes and, flipping of my light, walked into his room.

I immediately knew he was awake, even before he sat up. The room was pitch black; having just let my own well-lit room, I was blind. But Yuki…could he see me? Did he know what I meant to do?

“Shuichi? What\'s wrong?”

I didn\'t answer, but slowly approached the bed where I could vaguely see his form lying. I reached the platform and stepped up to the bed. I saw him sitting there, half-covered by the sheets, shirtless. That desire that I\'d felt since the first time I saw him, dancing to Nittle Grasper\'s sublime sound, us sharing our drinks at the 7th Heaven, our stumbling through dark alleys, the first time we touched in the antique automobile in the parking lot. My heart pounded more strongly than a moment ago. I thought of how he\'d come back for me to the motel, wearing my jacket, and asked to stay with him. Holding hands as we walked, kissing as we transferred to his part of town through the teleporter. I saw his home for the first time and his room. We\'d eaten together there. The room he\'d given to me, that time he\'d pressed me onto the mattress to kiss me. At last, the memory of us trying to make out in the theater.

I stopped there. There was no need to go on. There was a desire burning in my body, a lust flaming through my brain. I had to hold him again, no matter the consequence. I couldn\'t let him be hurt because of me. I couldn\'t let the fire die before it consumed us together.

I crawled onto the edge of the bed. He started to back away, giving me room to sit. I didn\'t want to sit next to him; I wanted to lie on top of him. I grabbed his shoulder, pouncing on him, and kissed his throat, moaning, and clung to him tightly.

“Shuichi!”

I kissed his neck, his chin, his face, then hid my face in his blonde hair and whispered, pleading softly, “Make love to me?”
It was the first time I\'d used those words, and the first time I actually understood them. Sex…love… there was a difference, but we could have both.

He gently pushed me away, lifting the covers for me to crawl under, and then pulled off his clothes, tossing them behind the bed. Now was the scary part for me. I wanted to be in his arms, but how would it feel to really be against his body? It took only a second to find out. He cuddled me to him and I felt something much different than what the Playstation had shown me. Out legs entwined, our bare chests pressed together, and I could feel his heart beating wildly---or was it mine? No matter; soon we were together, one rhythm rocking on that luxurious water bed. I never in my entire life felt this wonderful pleasure. Yes in the beginning it did hurt, like a bee sting, but that was it. Everywhere he touched made my skin feel like it was on fire, I couldn\'t even begin to describe. With each thrust, he brought me closer to completion. I tried to hold onto this pleasure a little bit longer, not wanting this to end so quickly. Unfortunately, his hand began to fondle my erection. I finally came; the feeling was the most pleasurable thing I ever felt. By dawn we were both drenched in each other, and wrapped up in each other\'s waves, we slept until well after noon.

I awoke to caresses and kisses in the afternoon sunshine. I just kept my eyes closed and let his love wash over me. It was the perfect way to start the middle of the day.

“Shuichi?” I heard his sweet voice speak my name, pulling me from the depths of the well.

“Hmmm?” I murmured against his skin of his shoulder.

“…are you ok? I mean, did you---? Was it--?”

I answered him with a long, wet kiss. I laid back on the bed and he rested his hand on my chest. I ran my hands up and down his back and through his hair. He brought his hand up to mine, and as we clasped them, he kissed my fingers. We both happily laid there, content with each other.

Our relationship grew much stronger after that night. I felt so silly about how I\'d reacted to the episode with the Playstation. I apologized profusely to Yuki, and he forgave me instantly, insisting the blame was his as well. It felt wonderful to have all these things out in the open, and made us more and more comfortable together. We reached a point where we could tell each other anything, ask each other for anything. We spent our days walking and talking, window-shopping and sight-seeing, and even managed to get away with some of our crazy exploits in the local theaters without getting caught and without going to far. Often we dressed up and went to fancy restaurants for a romantic dinner, and twice he took me to the opera. As I\'ve mentioned, I\'m crazy about music, but after those two performances, I decided opera wasn\'t for me. Theater was another thing entirely, so every Friday night we saw plays together, and most Saturdays we found concerts. It seemed to me as though Tokyo was a city of music, and I wanted to hear it all. Yuki indulged my every whim; we were both happy as long as long as we were together. And every second was spent together - always clasping hands as we walked, arms around each other at the movies; we ate together, bathed together and every night we slept together, after revealing to each other our fiery passions and desires. We shared everything; I had no need for my own room.

I met Yuki\'s other brother and parents, and they became like my own. We all grew close; abut none closer than Mika, always sensitive and friendly, and Tatsuha, who had made all this possible for us. Yuki\'s parents came home, and they embraced me into their family with open arms.

We were all so happy; life was perfect. I remember once when Sakano (A/N: second oldest brother) was in love. We had all thought he would marry the girl, and were only waiting for him to make the announcement. But the news that came wasn\'t what we had expected. She\'d shamelessly dumped him for a richer guy, so we all thought he\'d been devastated. But he just shook his head complacently, saying “Shit happens. Nothing that good can last forever.”

I always knew he would be right in the end.