The Ghost of Affection

The moonlight cast an eerie glow across the faces of the two figures standing there. The words still lingered in the air, heavy and menacing.
“ I want you to erase Tohru Honda's memories.” Akito had said. Hatori knew this day would come. He just didn't expect it so soon.
“ Akito...” Hatori said quietly, backing towards the door.
“ What's the matter, Hatori?” Akito emerged from the shadows, stepping into the light. “ You know what happens with you disobey me.” Hatori placed a hand across his eye, nodding slowly. “ You know what to do then.”
“ Yes, Akito.” Hatori backed out of the doorway and began to slide the door shut.
“ I want to be there. I want to see it.” He heard Akito say as the door slid shut.

Yuki pulled away from Tohru, gasping and clamping a hand to his lips. Tohru stared up at him, with that innocent and confused stare.
“ I'm sorry...Honda-san.” Yuki stared down at the ground, wishing he could just be normal. He tried to kiss her back, he really did, but something inside him was screaming for him to pull away, to stop. He was in too deep now, he was in love with Akito, and nothing could change that. Not even kissing Tohru could change it.
“ I should apologize...” Tohru said quietly, shifting her weight. “ You're in love, aren't you?” He gasped and stared down at her, fearing she had discovered his secret. “ I've been watching you these past days. I'm happy for you.” Even though her voice was calm and collected, he could see the tears brimming her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. Yuki closed his eyes, shaking the memory away. It was late in the evening, and he had already been to see Akito. He had been shooed away by a maid, saying Akito had taken a trip somewhere. Yuki rolled over onto his stomach and glared at the wall. Why did all of this had to happen now? He cursed as he brought his fist down into the mattress. Tohru's kiss had been different from Akito's. Akito's kisses were rough but gentle, hers was innocent and shy. He was frustrated. Seeing Akito would of reassured him, but he was away. He sure picked a lousy time to go on a vacation. Yuki sighed, irritated. The sooner he could see Akito, the better.

Akito paced back and forth most of the night, his head pounding from the stress. He stood at the foot of his bed, glaring down at it. He couldn't sleep in that bed anymore, not while it still smelled of Yuki. The sweet, fresh scent of Yuki that had once calmed him, now made his stomach churn. He opened the door leading to his garden, and stood upon the wooden porch. He kicked off his slippers and stepped onto the grass, shuddering as the cold blades of grass brushed against his ankles. He turned to stare back at the porch, illuminated by the moonlight. Memories of Yuki seated upon the porch, picking at blades of grass while he stood and watched the pond floated across his vision. He had gotten so used to having Yuki around. He never thought of what he might do, or how much it would hurt if he suddenly lost him. He balled his hands into fists, clenching them so tight that his nails dug into the palms of his hands, drawing blood. He turned and sat upon the porch, letting the blades of grass brush against the bottom of his feet. Despite how hard he was trying to hold back, a single tear escaped the corner of his eye, trailing a river down his cheek. Even after Tohru's memories were erased, he knew he couldn't be with Yuki ever again. That time in his life was over, and there was nothing he could do to change it. He still loved Yuki, he still wanted to be with him, but he would always feel that hurt and betrayal. Tohru Honda had to disappear, then he could resume life as it was before she had come into the Sohma's life. Everything would return to the way it should be.

Yuki dressed and decided he would try to see Akito again this day. Yuki sighed as he tossed on his shirt and buttoned it with haste. He couldn't stand this uneasy feeling he was getting. He hurried down the stairs and towards the door. Just as he was slipping on his shoes, Tohru timidly came around the corner.
“ Sohma-kun?” She asked quietly, watching as he slipped his coat on. “ You don't want breakfast?”
“ No thank you, Honda-san.” He said, trying to muster a smile. “ There is somewhere I must go.”
“ Alright...I'll see you later.” She waved as he shut the door and hurried down the pathway. She sighed, returning to the kitchen. It was hard for Yuki to keep himself at a walking pace as the main house drew near. He wanted to run as fast as he could, but he refrained. As he reached the gates, he hesitated for a moment, staring up at them. A chill ran through his spine as he entered the gates, staring around. He immediately walked towards Akito's house, knocking quietly on the door. A maid answered, looking weary and tired.
“ I'm sorry, Yuki-sama.” She said quietly. “ Akito-sama does not want to see anyone right now.”
“ Please, I have to see him.” Yuki said, pushing past her.
“ W-wait! He's in a terrible mood, please.” She hurried after him, begging him to turn back.
“ I don't care!” Yuki turned and glared at her. She stared wide eyed up at him then turned and ran back down the hallway, clearly frightened. Just as he turned, he ran face first into Akito. He fell back onto the ground and looked up at him.
“ Aki-” He stopped as he saw the expression upon Akito's face. Akito certainly wasn't happy to see him, and the cold lifeless stare had returned to his eyes. Hatori stepped out of the room behind him, looking somewhat guilty.
“ Yuki...I was just thinking about how I'd deal with you.” Akito said, a faint smile coming to his face.
“ Akito?...What do you mean?” Yuki stood shakily, only to be grabbed by the front of his coat and dragged down the hallway. “ Akito! Wait!”
“ Shut up.” Akito said, jerking him forward harshly. Yuki began to remember the certain layout of the walls here. The darkness and musty smell all around them.
“ Akito, no!” Yuki struggled against the grip as he realized just where they were going. Yuki turned to see Hatori striding behind them, a stern look upon his face. “ Hatori! Please!” Yuki struggled harder, digging his feet into the ground.
“ I cannot disobey, Akito...” Hatori said quietly, turning away from him. They arrived outside of the room. The room that had torn a hole inside Yuki's soul. The room that terrified him more than anything else in the world. Akito opened the door to the room. Immediately Yuki's nose was clogged with that sickly pungent smell, musty and stale. He screamed as he was thrown inside of the darkness, all the hairs on his neck standing up at once. Akito slammed the door shut, locking it with a click. Yuki's breathing increased as he stared around the darkness, his fear becoming overwhelming. He rushed to the door, pounding upon it and screaming for his lover.
“ AKITO!” He screamed, fumbling to find the door knob in the dark.
“ You make so much noise.” He heard Akito snarl through the door. “ You should of thought of the consequences.”
“ AKITO! LET ME OUT!” Yuki was screaming so loud his throat had gone raw and felt like sandpaper.
“ You should have been expecting a punishment like this.” Akito said, chuckling quietly. “ Before kissing Tohru Honda.” He whispered just loud enough for Yuki to hear.
“ You...saw that?” Yuki said, falling back onto his knees, staring up at the door through the darkness.
“ Oh yes...I saw that.” Akito chuckled again, running his hand down the fine wood of the door.
“ I didn't want to...I swear I didn't...” Yuki said hoarsely, choking on the words.
“ Don't give me that. I saw you kiss her back.” Akito drove his fist into the door, making Yuki start and jump back. “ This is where it ends, Yuki. I will erase her memories today, and all will return to the way it should be.” Akito said quietly. Yuki could hear their footsteps as they left the door. Yuki got up again and screamed with all his might.
“ AKITO! COME BACK! PLEASE! AKITO!” He was screaming so loud, he was sure every maid in the house could hear him. He was only answered by silence. Yuki sat back and crawled to a corner of the room, pulling his knees to his chest and pressing his hands firmly to his ears, trying to block out the memories which had begun to weave themselves into reality once more. He tried desperately to block out the words of Akito, which seemed to be all around him. He let out a quiet sob, feeling the tears streaming down his cheeks. He rocked himself back and forth, sobbing loudly to the darkness. It was just as Akito said, this was where it ended. Locked away inside a dark room, the world outside mattering nothing. Everything in his life always came back to here, always came back to the dark room. Everything began and ended the same, in darkness.

As Akito strode down the halls, Hatori could see his shoulders quivering from behind. Hatori let out a quiet sigh, knowing that things would only get worse from here.
“ Hatori, you know what to do.” Akito said quietly, not turning towards him. Akito disappeared into his chambers, leaving Hatori standing in the hallway with a frown. As soon as the door was shut, Akito fell to his knees, letting an audible sob. Every time Yuki had cried for him, it had broken his heart. His chest still ached from the pain. It had become hard to breathe. It took every ounce of his self control not to run back there and free Yuki. Every fiber of his body was telling him that what he was doing was wrong, but he didn't care. Even if it was the wrong thing to do, he had no choice. It had to be this way, it was the curse. In reality, this was what the curse was. It left them broken each time, leaving no room for recovery. He cried to himself, regretting he ever tried to defy the curse. He remained on his knees, letting the tears fall and soak into the rug beneath him.

Hatori stood outside the door for some time, listening as Akito cried quietly to himself. He knew exactly what Akito was thinking then. He had thought it too many times himself. There was nothing more to be done. He stepped away from the door, with a sigh, heading towards his office. He reached his office and stared at the phone, hesitating before picking it up slowly. He dialed Shigure's number, listening to the phone ring.
“ Hello, Ha'ri!” Shigure chimed into the phone happily.
“ Greetings, Shigure.” Hatori sat upon a chair beside the phone, staring down at the floor.
“ I'm so lucky! Ha'ri called me!” Shigure sang happily into the phone.
“ Please, be serious, Shigure.” Hatori sighed, feeling a headache coming on. “ This is about Tohru.”
“ Oh...You mean?” Shigure asked quietly, his tone leaving no evidence of how giddy he had just been acting.
“ Yes...I will be on my way to pick up Tohru in an hour or two.” Hatori said sternly.
“ Oh, this is a sad day indeed.” Shigure sighed. “ I understand...It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“ I'm sorry.” Hatori apologized quietly.
“ No, I understand.” Shigure reassured him.
“ I will be there soon.” Hatori said briefly, hanging up the phone, unable to speak any longer. He knew this was the wrong thing to do, even after hearing all that had happened. There was nothing more that could be done. Hatori sat with his face buried in his hands, Yuki's screams and Akito's cries still echoing through his mind.


Yuki slowly let his hands fall, the voices suddenly coming to an end. He stared up into the familiar darkness, listening to the silence. He fell to his side, and stared into the black abyss. He couldn't blame Tohru for what had happened. He had kissed her back, and he was the one to blame. If he had pushed her off then, things may have turned out differently. Though, this moment was inevitable. Being locked inside this room again, and Akito hating him once more. He knew he was in the furthest corner of Akito's house, where the rooms were unoccupied, and the halls maidless. Knowing Akito, he was going to be locked in this room until he starved to death.

Shigure paced the halls of his house, glancing at the door. It had been a few hours since Tohru had gone shopping for that night's dinner.
“ What are you pacing there for?” Kyo growled from the living room. Shigure glanced at Kyo, who eyed him suspiciously. “ Okay then.” Kyo resumed watching the television, letting Shigure pace some more.
“ I'm home!” Shigure started as he heard Tohru's cheerful voice. “ Hello, Shigure!” She said happily, setting the groceries down while she removed her shoes.
“ Ah, wait Tohru.” Shigure came to a halt before her, stopping her from entering the house.
“ Hatori is coming...” Shigure said quietly. “ You are to go with him to the main house.” Tohru froze and stared up at him.
“ What for?” She asked, looking concerned.
“ Um...” Shigure shifted his weight. He couldn't tell her. “ Akito would like to speak with you.” He lied.
“ Oh...What about?” She asked, standing in the doorway.
“ Some things. He'll be here in a few minutes.” Shigure said, stepping back into the hallway.
“ Shall I wait outside?” Tohru asked, smiling happily.
“ Yes...I'll take care of these groceries.” Shigure said, taking hold of the bags and dragging them into the kitchen. He couldn't bear to see her leave as he heard a knock upon the door. He remained in the kitchen, listening to Tohru's last goodbye.
“ I'll be home as soon as possible!” He heard her call from the door. His heart felt like a brick as he heard the door shut.

Yuki lay upon the ice cold floor, staring at a beam of light coming from beneath the door. He had drifted in and out of sleep, and he wasn't sure what time or day it was. His stomach clenched with hunger, and his throat was dry as sandpaper. Did any of it even matter anymore? So what if he died here, he was better off dead. He supposed this is what the curse meant, dying in a cold, dark room, broken and alone. He was so tired, he couldn't even muster the energy to wipe the tears away. The tears kept coming, leaking down his cheeks in small rivers and pooling on the floor beneath him. He thought he could hear footsteps, but he didn't care anymore. He closed his eyes, wishing he could just disappear.
“ Yuki-sama!” He heard a voice call from the door. He looked up and listened again carefully. “ Yuki-sama! Are you still in there?!” He mustered every bit of energy he had left and crawled to the door.
“ I'm here.” He said, his voice hoarse.
“ Hold on a moment.” He heard the rattling of keys and squinted as the light blinded him momentarily. Once his eyes regained focus, he stared up into the face of the same maid that had shooed him away the day before. “ Come on.” She pulled up to his feet and dusted him off hastily. “ I just saw Miss Honda walking with Hatori into his office.” She said, sounding concerned. “ Akito is there as well. Her memories may be in danger!” She stood back and gestured down the hall. Yuki hesitated a moment, staring at the floor. “ Aren't you going to do something?” The maid asked, frowning slightly.
“ Why are you doing this?” Yuki asked quietly, staring down at her. She sighed and shifted her weight.
“ I'm sorry. I was out of place.” She said quietly, bowing and placing the keys in his hand. He watched as she slowly shuffled down the hallway and out of sight.
“ Damn it!” Yuki gritted his teeth together, balling his hands into fists. He took off down the hallway towards Hatori's office.

“ What is your relationship with Yuki?” Akito asked, glaring coldly down at Tohru.
“ R-relationship?” Tohru stammered, looking confused. Akito hated that innocent, confused look upon her fragile face. He whipped his hand forward and slapped her harshly. She cried out and fell to her knees, grasping her cheek, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
“ Wench! Don't lie to me! I saw you kiss him!” Akito bellowed, grabbing her by the hair and wrenching her forward. “ Tell me what you're relationship is!”
“ W-W-We did kiss.” Tohru choked over her tears, trembling in terror of Akito's fury. “ B-but I knew...H-he was in l-love with someone...” Tohru shrieked as Akito threw her back against the wall, ignoring Hatori's protests.
“ It wouldn't be very wise to lie to me, Tohru Honda.” Akito whispered bitterly.
“ He loves you!” Tohru cried, staring up at Akito defiantly. “ Why won't you believe that?”
“ Then why was he with you?!” Akito grasped Tohru by the front of her shirt, pulling her upright and slamming her into the wall. “ WHY WAS HE WITH YOU?!”
“ Akito-san. Yuki loves you with all his heart.” Tohru grasped at his slender wrist, staring kindly at him. “ You can't expect to love someone, when you assume they'll betray you in the future, it'll make everything hazy, you'll be unhappy.”
“ Shut up!” Akito slapped her again, feeling her frail body tremble. “ Shut your stupid mouth!”
“ Akito-san...He's happy with you.” Tohru whispered, turning back towards him, her cheek swelling slightly from the blow. That innocent expression of hers. How could a lie be hidden within her? Akito slowly withdrew his hand, turning and staring down at the floor. Her words, she had known exactly what he'd wanted to hear.
“ Akito!” Akito turned with a start as Yuki burst into the room, panting for breath.
“ How did you?” Akito's voice trailed off, the sight of Yuki was almost painful.
“ See? Akito-san...” Tohru said softly from the floor, her bangs covering most of the bruise upon her cheek. “ If he didn't love you. Why would he be here now?”
“ Tohru, are you alright?” Yuki rushed to her side, helping her to her feet.
“ I'm fine, Sohma-kun.” Tohru said with a smile.
“ Akito.” Yuki advanced towards Akito, reaching out towards him.
“ Don't touch me!” Akito backed away, glaring down at Yuki.
“ Why won't you listen to me?!” Yuki cried, balling his hands into fists and glaring angrily at his feet. “ Why won't you believe me when I say I love you?”
“ I...” Akito found himself lost for an explanation. He always knew what to say, he always knew how to fight back. But this time, he knew he had been wrong. He knew he had been wrong ever since he didn't go back for Yuki. He knew he had been wrong to do what he had done, yet he couldn't admit it. He couldn't bring himself to apologize. There was no way to let Yuki know how sorry he was. He couldn't deal with people. He couldn't find the words like Tohru had. This was the true meaning of the curse. Akito was used to being alone, used to pushing everyone away from him. He didn't know what to say. “ I'm...” Akito sighed, mustering the words. “ Sorry...” Yuki looked up, smiling at Akito's words. He knew what Akito was thinking. He could almost hear the words Akito was dying to say, but couldn't.
“ It's okay.” Yuki stepped forward, throwing his arms around Akito's waist and hugging him. “ It's alright now.”
“ Yuki..” Akito gave in, wrapping his arms around Yuki, all feelings of fear and betrayal fading almost instantly. “ Forgive me...”

“ I'll see you later then.” Tohru smiled, heading towards the main gate, waving happily. “ Thanks, Hatori.” She said, pointing to the bandage upon her face. Hatori nodded, standing beside Akito and Yuki. Tohru turned, and smiled towards Akito. To Yuki's surprise, Akito smiled gently back, nodding in her direction.
“ Perhaps having that girl around, isn't such a bad thing.” Akito said quietly, watching as she turned and disappeared behind the wall of the gate. The curse wasn't broken, however they had gained new knowledge of the curse's nature. They were one step closer to discovering the true meaning of the curse. The curse may never end, Akito knew that. No matter how many of his generation died, it would go on. Akito glanced down at Yuki, standing by his side. All they could do for now, was try to understand it. Maybe once they understood it fully, they would find a way to break the curse.

~End

Author's note: So there's the new ending. I didn't really like the way the other ending turned out. It seemed a bit rushed to me. And my friend suggested a happier ending might have been better suited. If anyone is re-reading this, please let me know which ending you liked better XD

As far as this fic goes. A lot of my friends were confused as to whether the fic was based off the manga or the anime. So I went and bought myself the rest of the mangas and read them, and this fic is indeed based off the anime. XD lots of stuff happened in the manga that can make this story seem baffling to some.