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Heaven's a Lie	By : lilsweetsakura Category: > Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji ???) Views: 2252 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any characters from it, I ain't making any money from this story either. If I was, it would be all yaoi, fluff and forbidden love

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
Chapter 5

~Poison~

~*~

“Good morning, young master. How are you feeling today?”

Another loud thug that meant a new morning was heard resounding through the mansion and deep within Ciels ears.

“Ugh…”

“What crazy dreams do I have recently. At this pace I won’t be able to look Sebastian in his face” Was all that Ciel could think of. There really was nothing that would be able to calm down his hard flesh. There was nothing that would take off the blush off his face.

“My master, are you feeling well?” The usual smirk followed his butlers words as he moved his body closer to him. Closer. So close that he was leaning in. Checking for his temperature.

“Oh no.”

A soft kiss followed his denying thoughts.

“Oh yes..”

Boy thought as soft kiss grew into something not so soft, but rather more provocative.

“Young master, your fever around me seems as high as ever.”

Thoughts about feverish feelings indeed crossed Ciels mind as well as thoughts about what he could use as an excuse just so it would actually seem like a fever as he chose worry.

“Roses, Sebastian. I’m worried about those.”

All the memories seemed like a blur. All the reality was a mere blur. But he did remember about all the mess. He felt all the mess he had made last night in their kiss this morning. Sebastian kissed him and it was one of the best sensations he could wish for. He wanted to keep going at this dreamy pace. He wanted to never wake up. Hell, he had made a contract with a demon. He, in his dreams, probably, fell in love with said demon and had sex with him. The best sex he could ever have, even though it was his first sex ever. He didn’t care much anymore. Whether it was a dream or reality, whatever, he wanted to be fooled by everything and just enjoy his life at least at a little point of himself… Being alive.

“Roses?” Amused smirk played across demons face as he took his masters hand in his own and led him out of his bed right to the door.

They walked silently to the garden house Sebastian having puzzled thoughts in his mind while Ciel had no thoughts at all, mostly just amusement and joy. It almost seemed as if they had swapped their roles.

~*~

Ciels body was smashed over the table as Sebastian crawled all over it. He was brutal and both of them loved it. Sebastian kept planting his diabolic kisses all over Ciels neck, his collarbone and chest. They were both naked and not caring. And all that Ciel wished was to become immortal, so he would feel those things forever. He wanted to be humiliated by his butler. He didn’t care anymore. He just wanted.. He wanted and he got what he wanted. Except he wanted to get that forever.

His demon butler couldn’t stand against the temptation as he was going crazy himself. Crazy all over boys body, his nails and teeth digging into him, drawing the tastiest bloodstreams out of him and making them both go into a bliss not even getting to colliding their bodies into one.

“What does pain mean to you?”

“What do you mean, young master?”

“Exactly what I asked. I’m trying to understand something.”

“What, my lord?”

“..What pain means to me.”

“And what does it mean to you?”

“That I’m alive. But I wish I was not.”

“Why not?”

“So I could be hurt by you, even more.”

Those words meant everything. Those words were the snapping point of everything mortal, moral, normal.. Everything. His butler said the words he was never supposed to say to his master:

“Then you shall be hurt by me. I will make you feel alive and love that feeling.” Were last spoken things as Sebastian trusted his 3 fingers deep inside of boys tight entrance. Sebastians eyes went bloody dark as he saw boys terrified eyes, which were clouded by unreasonable pleasure.

‘It hurts.. It hurts so good.’

He slid fingers of his free hand inside of boys mouth, abusingly grabbing his tongue and swirling his digits inside boys hot mouth almost triggering the gag reflex, but stopping right before boy could start to protest.

‘What has this human boy done to me, that I am breaking all the laws of the demon world. What has he done to me, that I am feeling things and not being able to let go of those feelings. What has he done to me that I’m willing to be myself with him? With this mere human, and yet he seems so much more than a mere human to me.’

Looking into his masters eyes the demon could feel himself slowly transforming into a demon. Into the real demon, not the human mortal butler, that the boy wished to see once they made the contract, but into himself. And he knew that it was bringing them to no good. He was getting lost into the touches, into the lewd expression his little master was making while shamelessly sucking Sebastians digits.

This was getting far too dangerous. Even the demon didn’t know what would happen if he accepted all the things he felt and got completely lost in their wicked little actions. He had no idea, even though he always knew everything. Everything, that concerned either mortal world or hell, or even heaven. He had lived through enough long time to have seen everything and have had time to learn everything that he hadn’t seen. But he had never seen or heard about demon feeling anything. Ever. He was an exception to all exceptions that could possibly exist in the dark mind of his and that was scaring him. He was unused to anything, that was happening with him, but not knowing something was far too unacceptable for him so he did something that they both didn’t expect.

“Ciel… I apologize, but I must urgently take my leave now.” He withdrew from his young master leaving him a hot mess spread all over the table with wide, pleading eyes and a complete not understanding of the situation.

Boy laid there for good 5 minutes when finally he understood that he’s alone and no one was coming to get him away from there. And then all the feelings came to him. Sebastian had left him. His butler, who promised to be there always. Be with him. For him. He had left him alone after making him feel as if he was needed for someone. As if Sebastian wanted to be there with him. He felt abused. He felt used. He was naked, messed up and alone. Rose garden was filled with dark roses, and now Ciel remembered why he loved them so much. Because they were as dark as his empty soul. He was alone. Alone. Again. He tried to call out, but no sound came out, boy was suddenly terrified, because he was left alone right after he thought that he has found something that makes him happy and warm. His fragile hand reached out for something invisible and just as soon as he lifted it, he heavily dropped it right back down next to his side, still laying on the table.

‘Get up’ Boy emotionlessly tried to encourage himself. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout his butlers name and order him to be there with him. He wanted to cry, he felt broken. But nothing came out. Perhaps it was his bodies self-defense, since he was already kind of getting used to being left alone. He never thought that he could be left alone after his parents death, because there really was no one else to leave him, but no. There had to appear a demon who made him attached to himself and then left him alone.

‘Maybe it was his plan all along? From the very begging maybe he wanted to make me fall for him and then leave me feeling all those horrible things once again? Well, that’s right. I have no idea what demons need. He said it’s my soul. Maybe it’s just not good enough if it’s broken only once?’

Broken.

Yes, that was the correct word to describe all the feelings Ciel felt at the moment. And then he got up. As he sorted out his thoughts, he was able to try collecting his shattered pieces. There was no fixing to his heart or soul, but his body was still alive and ready to take revenge for his parents and finally end this endless circle of suffering.

‘I am a fool for trusting a demon.’

He kept thinking about everything that had happened as he slowly walked back to his room where he locked himself in. He closed the curtains and crawled under his bed covers as if seeking for protection and warmth of at least something, even though it was inanimate object.

‘Such a fool…’

~*~

Distant voices were yelling him from his sleep and loud bangs on his bedroom door didn’t seem to end. It was annoying, but he was far too sleepy and tired of crying the whole night as he finally cried himself to sleep, now people were trying to wake him up again. Wake him up into the harsh reality of his painful life.

“Young master, are you alright?!” Loud voice of a woman didn’t seem to ever stop yelling out the same phrase over and over again.

“Open the door, young master!” Males of his household kept repeating and harshly banging on the door.

Woman’s voice suddenly stopped yelling as her yells were replaced with loud sobs. The bangs now seemed to stop as well, as judging from sound apparently someone was trying to break the door now with some heavy object. With his household being this loud the reality came creeping in into his mind. He slowly started to wake up from his nightmares into yet another nightmare of his life.

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.” He finally yelled back with a deep sigh coming right after ‘I’m fine’ part.

“Thank god, young master, you are alright! But you must eat! Young master, open the door!” Woman stopped her crying now screaming at the closed door once again.

“I said, leave me alone!” For the first time he was this angry and tired at the same time, but the harsh tone in his voice did it’s trick as he heard soft “we should go now” “yes, let’s go” and heard steps withdraw from his bedrooms door.

“Young master, oh, but please call us if you need anything!” Woman yelled for one last time and lopped away on her heels.

But the loud household succeeded in doing what they were trying to do – they woke their master up. And Ciel was in no condition to go back to sleep as he collected his thoughts, reality and started sobbing because once he had woken up he felt… Heartbroken. Which would had been totally fine, unless it was impossible in his mind. For once he was admitting that he was completely in love with his demon and, for once, he knew that demon hated him. That demon only wished to break him more and more. And he was damn successful at that.

‘He didn’t even come to wake me up.’ Ciel thought to himself as he slowly slipped out of his bed and went to the bathroom. He washed his face, harshly rubbing his eyes with the cold water as he hoped that the action would stop his tears, but it did not. On the contrary, as he looked up in the mirror he started crying even harder.

‘I’m a mess.’ He whispered as he went back to his bed, but this time he felt far too hot to crawl under the blanket, so he slid down on the floor, pressing his back against his bed for support and he kept crying. That was all he was capable of doing. He couldn’t even think anymore, he could only cry.

~*~

A dark tint of red was all over the maids face as she quickly shut the door behind her and slid on the floor, her back pressed against said door.

“I’m so so-sorry! Oh, S-Sebastian! I di.. Didn’t mean to bar-barge in like t-that! B-but, you we-weren’t replying f-for like t-two hours! W-we didn’t know what t-to do! Baldroy ordered me to get you out! Young master needs you! He has locked hi-himself inside of his room and won’t come out! A-and then you weren’t co-oming out and… I’m so sorry!” Mey-Rin started sobbing once again.

The demon was drunk. His shirt was half closed and half tucked in his pants, other half was freely hanging over them as his tie was freely hanging down his neck, tied up in an impossible, messy knot. His hair was messy, his cheeks were flushed and his fangs were nibbling on a half full glass of red wine. He was half lying next to his bed as almost the whole floor of his bedroom was filled with empty bottles of said wine.

Obviously there was no way of a mortal being to drink that much alcohol. But Sebastian was no living being. However on the other hand technically there was no possibility of him getting drunk at all. But there, in his whole life, now was no logic so he found it fairly normal to be in the state of outrageous drunkenness as his whole room was aggressively swirling around and no thoughts were in his mind.

He hadn’t even noticed maid’s presence until she banged his door closed and started talking. He couldn’t understand half of what she said, even though he tried.

All he heard was ‘Young master… Needs you… Locked… Sorry.. Sorry… Sorry’

It really made no sense to him right now, but as he heard that his young master apparently was locked somewhere he clumsily tried to get up, knocking down most of the bottles that were near to him. He grabbed his bed for support, forgetting that he had wine in his hand. He felt his hand being pierced by now broken glass of wine, but didn’t bother to remove the chippings of glass, that were slowly thrusting into his flesh. Sharp pain, however, knocked some common sense into him as he realized that he’s too drunk to even stand up. As well as he was too drunk, to tell that to Mey-Rin.

He slid back to the ground and looked at his bleeding hand. He tried to bring it to his mouth to draw out the glass out of it with his teeth, but his hand refused to go that high so he simply kept staring at the dark blood, flowing out of his useless body.

It wasn’t nearly as bright and hot as Ciels, it didn’t turn him on or urge him to lick it. Oh and as his thoughts were back in order once again, he was thinking about the only thing that he didn’t want to think about. About the young human who he refused to see after he realized that he doesn’t understand how to embrace his newly formed feelings. Honestly, he didn’t understand how to take in any feelings at all, since he had never felt a thing in his entire life, except that little warmth that took over him as he sucked away ones soul or that maddening passion that overtook him as he was killing someone or something. He even agreed to the slight feeling of ease as he came, but there was no agreeing to anything else. It was hard enough to fathom the fact that he desired his prey. But there was no understanding to his need, to his urge and wishes. To his madness and heat, to the lewd expression that his young master made that drew him over the edge. He had never wanted a future, since he felt no time. But, for once, he caught himself wishing for a future together with Ciel.

He kept staring at the blood, flowing out of his hand as all sorts of thoughts came flying right back into his mind. All the thoughts that he had tried so hard to drink down.

‘What has become of me.’
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Heaven's a Lie