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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Learning to Land. Chapter Fifty Four ~Ohtori~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Ohtori had held off taking a beta-blocker every night up until this last one. Though they hadn't even kissed, and even after that terrible day when Kameko-kun, the girl in Ohtori's class who was also in love with his senpai confessed, Ohtori resisted the easy way out and felt this was the right thing to do. Shishido-san needed to get to know him, flaws and all. He had to even get to know Ohtori's detested shyness and nervousness, instead of Ohtori on some drug he couldn't take all the time. Ohtori felt things were going slow, but really well. He was really happy and looking forward to more touching on their couch that night.

He was waiting for his senpai to come home, and he and Taki-san were sitting on the couch watching the news. Taki-san was flipping through channels during commercials in that annoying way he had. Taki-san never could keep one show on, especially during commercials. It was another thing Ohtori really liked about his senpai. Shishido-san would sit quietly through a show they were watching, and he used commercials as opportunities to talk. It was as if his senpai would store up things he wanted to say or ask during the show and only said them when it was a good time. Ohtori thought this was both adorable and very considerate. He now tried to do the same back with Shishido-san.

As they watched, a health story came on the news that night. The main story covered a new laser treatment with a 65 per cent or better success rate being performed in Australia on certain kinds of previously inoperable brain tumors. The exact kind Takeo had was mentioned several times as being one this treatment was developed specifically for. Ohtori sat there in shock and horror and felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of him. The story on the news promptly changed to the next. Something about a new treatment for sports injuries but Ohtori never heard it. It was all just so sudden that he was nearly in tears and trying not to cry, to just breathe, oh god why...

"What's wrong?" Taki-san asked and looked at him.

"Nothing..." Ohtori whispered reflexively. Then he realized his roommate was staring at him and Ohtori was going to scream or cry or hit something and none of them would be good. Neither crying nor screaming nor hitting things would do any good.

Takeo had seen to that.

Ohtori didn't know if this treatment had been offered in time to save him. He didn't know why Takeo's mom was so into useless alternative healings, or why his father was too distracted by his wife and other children to do whatever it took to save his son, or why the doctors didn't know about this treatment to mention it. Ohtori didn't know if he was to blame for not saying anything or doing other things. If maybe he should have specifically said to Takeo to not do anything to hurt himself. Ohtori maybe should have told Takeo that he didn't know how to live without him. He wasn't sure if all this was really Takeo's fault for not telling Ohtori what he was going to do. If really Takeo had known or considered how hard all this would be on Ohtori and despite that he killed himself anyway. It was all the places Ohtori really hadn't yet gone because they was too terrible, too horrible, too real, too final, and he was still too angry about it all.

Takeo never said a word to him. Not one. Ohtori knew why. Because if he said what he was going to do, Ohtori would have stopped him. Instead Takeo had stolen one of his father's guns and hid it from Ohtori probably for weeks. Maybe longer. He never thought of Ohtori or his family or the consequences of his actions or that there might be something yet the doctors hadn't tried and if he just could have held out a little longer, everything might have worked out.

No.

Takeo had given up. He had left.

He abandoned Ohtori, and all the other people who loved him. Ohtori knew he was suffering and in pain, but he also knew if things were the other way around, he would never, ever have left Takeo by his own hand. Never. He would never do that to the people he loved. Ohtori would have given his life for Takeo's in a heartbeat. He dropped out of school, and gladly gave up everything to help him. He stopped living his own life to spend as much time with Takeo as he could, doing whatever he could, and was rewarded by being left behind by someone who swore to him that he loved him. This all flashed through Ohtori's head and filled him with such emotion and rage he was shaking.

"What?" Taki-san asked and sounded alarmed, "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, I'm just..." Ohtori wanted to say about to have a complete mental breakdown like you told me you once had, but somehow the words stuck in his throat. He didn't want to say them. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think or feel this rage anymore.

What he wanted was Shishido-san. He needed him. Shishido-san would make this go away. He would make Ohtori feel good again, by just being around and smiling. Just thinking of his senpai, his smile, his laugh, him touching Ohtori's hand the night before, calmed Ohtori down a little, but he was too upset by his own thoughts to focus on the conversation Taki-san was having with mostly himself.

Taki-san said, "Tired. You're tired, aren't you?" Ohtori shook his head no, but apparently not very convincingly. "I knew it! I knew you were exhausting yourself sitting up with Shishido. That idiot. Well, it stops right here and now. He won't make you stay up anymore."

"No! He's not...!" Ohtori tried to explain that it was the one happiness he really had, and the reason he was tired was because when he did go to sleep, Taki-san kept trying to kiss and touch him even though he explained several times that he was not interested. When Ohtori tried to talk to his roommate, Taki-san kept saying that Ohtori called out for him, but Ohtori knew he had been sleeping and never called for him. Ohtori didn't know what to say to anything and felt completely overwhelmed.

Taki-san was already up, and on the phone calling Atobe-san. Ohtori begged silently while his roommate was on the phone to stop but Taki-san turned his back on him. Ohtori suddenly wanted to hit him. He was so furious, he wanted to turn Taki-san around and hit him. Ohtori wanted to take all his anger out on his roommate in that instant. .

Instead, horrified, feeling sick and guilty about this latest urge, Ohtori went to his bed and punched his pillow about twenty times while hot tears of frustration rolled down his cheeks. If he didn't, he knew right then he was going to hit Taki-san and if he started, he didn't know if he could stop himself.

After pummeling his pillow, a wave of exhaustion and dizziness overcame him and he lay down with his face pressed into the pillow. He cried hot, angry tears in silent racking sobs. About ten minutes later, just as he was drifting off to sleep, Taki-san came in and sat down on his bed. He asked Ohtori if he was okay, and told him he took care of everything. Taki-san said, as if very pleased, that Shishido-san would no longer keep Ohtori up at night. In fact, Taki-san and Ohtori would take a sleeping pill and get some good rest that night. Atobe-san had ordered them to.

It was the last thing Ohtori needed to hear or do. If Taki-san didn't take a sleeping pill, he would be all over Ohtori who didn't want to be drugged or feel groggy at all the next day. The only thing Ohtori had at the moment on his side was a bit of time. He figured he had at least an hour before Shishido-san came home.

He decided he would rest a little while now because he was too exhausted after crying to move. After that he could figure out what he would do next. Ohtori had finished his homework earlier anticipating another wonderful late night. He refused to let anyone take anything else away from him. His face still pressed into the pillow, he asked Taki-san to leave him to rest a while and soon fell asleep. He woke up having another strange dream of first Shishido-san and then Takeo sucking on his ear. He told him to stop and when he didn't, Ohtori roughly pushed him away. He heard someone hit the floor and curse. With a smile he only dared as he rolled over still half asleep, he realized he had probably just shoved Taki-san to the floor in his sleep. Out of long practice with Takeo, he feigned sleep well enough that Taki-san eventually stopped softly saying his name and walked away.

He woke up a little while later, quickly thought out a plan, and only then discovered the hickey behind his ear by sheer luck before Shishido-san might have noticed it. It was from his "dream" the night before and he knew now it was Taki-san's handiwork. If Ohtori had any reservations, they were all gone upon finding it. He tried to comb his hair over it and prayed his senpai hadn't seen it earlier and wouldn't see it before Ohtori explained later. Ohtori put the note on the water bottle in English because, it was his roommate's worst subject, but Shishido-san was good in English. He would understand. Ohtori said nothing else because Taki-san carefully watched them together that night.

Ohtori switched the pills right in front of Taki-san. He palmed the sleeping pill that Taki-san handed to him, and took one of his beta-blockers instead. Ohtori did not want to have any inhibitions or fears. He really needed to talk to Shishido-san.

Ohtori intended to confess to him everything, but somehow, he never got to. Instead the entire night had been better than he had ever imagined. From the kissing, to the talking, to the touching, to how tightly Shishido-san held him as he fell asleep, to his senpai actually sleeping; all of it was better that Ohtori had ever dared to dream, well except for him snorting right before he was going to kiss his senpai. But Shishido-san had made even that better because they both laughed so hard at it, and then to his astonishment, his senpai kissed him first.

Ohtori had assumed that his senpai would probably toss and turn all night, but never sleep. Everyone knew Shishido-san never slept. Just like everyone knew Shishido-san never kissed anyone first. He never confessed to anyone first, he never slept next to anyone, and most of all, he never told anyone he loved them. Even Ohtori had noticed, his senpai really avoided even saying the word love whenever possible. He didn't even use that word when he got off the telephone with his parents. It was not in his senpai's vocabulary, and everyone said this.

But everyone was apparently wrong. The rumors were all wrong. Shishido-san kissed him first! And he slept!

He kissed Ohtori first, fell asleep, and clung so tightly that the freshman was stunned and elated all at the same time. His senpai said he wanted to take things slow to do things right. He said he was attracted to Ohtori. He intensely said he wanted him, so intensely that Ohtori wondered if he had meant other words than want. Words as in like or maybe even love perhaps. When Shishido-san said it, Ohtori said it back and meant it with his whole heart. Although, Ohtori knew he really didn't mean want when he said it. He said to Shishido-san I want you too, but Ohtori meant love. He meant I love you.

Ohtori really loved him. And he loved him more and more as they lay wrapped tightly together, with every kiss, every touch, every shared breath, every story, Ohtori fell harder and harder. And yet it didn't hurt to fall in love. Instead Ohtori felt like he could breathe again for the first time in a very long time, or maybe ever. Ohtori knew if it was just after he had taken the beta-blocker that the words, I love you, would have, for better or worse, spilled out of his heart and his mouth. Time though had passed, and the effects were mostly gone. As high as he felt lying in Shishido-san's arms, he was able to reason that it wasn't worth the risk of scaring him away to say too much too soon.

Especially as he watched his senpai sleep. About an hour into sleeping, Shishido-san started to have bad dreams. It seemed like one after the next after the next, all converging upon him and trying to wake him. Ohtori wondered at it, and realized this might be why his senpai never slept. It was only Ohtori holding his senpai close, kissing him, and whispering his name that kept Shishido-san from waking completely up. Ohtori fought the bad dreams off for him. He only knew what to do for Shishido-san because some of the side-effects of the drugs Takeo had to take had given him nightmares too. Many long nights Ohtori had to comfort Takeo all through the night. Over and over in these bad dreams Shishido-san softly said either Ohtori's given name as he kissed him back and moved closer to him. Several times his senpai had either called him "Chou" or said the name "Shou " and Ohtori wondered if it was his twin's name, or maybe it was a word, or part of a word. Ohtori wasn't sure.

After that hour when bad dreams wrestled with his senpai to keep him awake, Shishido-san finally slept. He fell deeply asleep, although he still moved closer in his sleep, and frequently kissed Ohtori who couldn't be happier. As the hours wore on, Ohtori felt the beta-blocker wearing away and draining his courage with it. He felt his usual thousand and one insecurities rear their ugly heads, and around then, Ohtori felt an overwhelming need to talk to Takeo.

He waited until it was a decent enough time to wake his sleeping senpai. It was much earlier than they normally got up, but not too early to be strange. Ohtori moved slightly and Shishido-san, still asleep, gave a little growl and kissed Ohtori heatedly as he moved closer. Ohtori held him tighter, frustrated that he couldn't hold him tight enough, and for once understood a strange thing Takeo had said to him.

Takeo said that he wished he could unzip his skin and wrap himself around Ohtori. At the time, Ohtori had laughed at his best friend and they turned it into a joke, but now Ohtori completely understood how deeply Takeo must have once loved him. That ridiculousness of unzipping your skin and letting the person you loved find all the love, comfort, and warmth inside you was exactly how he felt for Shishido-san.

Ohtori kept kissing Shishido-san back until his senpai finally opened very sleepy eyes and smiled at him. His senpai growled a contented sounding purr and said, "So last night wasn't a dream." He kissed Ohtori again and said, "Good morning...time?"

Ohtori told him and actually made what could only be described as a giggle as Shishido-san growled again and pulled him closer. His senpai nibbled at his lips in these sexy little biting kisses he had. Ohtori kissed him back until his senpai settled down and said, "Good. It's too early. Let's go back to sleep a while."

"Shishido-senpai, I'm going to go for a run. Do you want to come with me?" Ohtori held his breath and hoped his senpai said no.

Shishido-san growled and groaned at the same time, "No...! No running. Stay Choutarou. Sleep more. Kiss me." Shishido-san kissed him for a long moment but then fell back asleep in the middle of the kiss making Ohtori giggle again.

It took Ohtori a good twenty minutes or so to unwrap himself from Shishido-san and get away. He only finally did because he lied and said he had to go to the bathroom and would be right back after he went. He impulsively kissed Shishido-san once more, because a large part of him wanted nothing more than to stay, but he worried that if he did, when his senpai was completely conscious, the closeness and intensity would drive him away. He did expect his senpai though to be a little scared off, maybe even to run and spend some time with Atobe-san after such an intense night of affection, emotions and confessions. Ohtori tried to steel his heart in case this happened, but at the same time prayed the ground they had made wouldn't be lost.

He wanted to stay, but Ohtori couldn't risk it. He couldn't put too much pressure on his senpai. Not after their beautiful night. So he went to be close to Takeo in the only way he really knew how anymore. He snuck into his sleeping room, and saw Taki sound asleep, in his bed, snoring away. Sighing, Ohtori went into his closet. He reached into the far back and extracted his violin case. He took out his bow, and his violin, only lingering a moment in the dark with his fingertips caressing along the well worn wood as if to say a silent apology for so long neglecting an old friend. He put them both into his soft travel case. He dressed quickly, slung his case over his shoulder, and went to go see if he couldn't score an empty practice room in the early morning hours before they were all taken.

Hyoutei had the most incredible equipment Ohtori had ever seen or heard of. Everything was state of the art and new. He stretched quickly and then jogged over to the music building. As he ran, he tried to push thoughts of his senpai, as delightful as they were, out of his head. He wanted to talk to Takeo, and needed to focus on what he wanted to play. It had been a very long time. He could set up to play with an orchestra recording or by himself. The possibilities were endless. He knew his bowing would suck after so long but maybe he could get through a few pieces for the sheer joy of them and worry about details and techniques next time. Lost in his thoughts as he ran in the dim pre-dawn light, Ohtori never saw the senpai coming out of one of the girls dormitories until they almost crashed into each other. The guy didn't see Ohtori at all until after he ran into him.

Ohtori, through years of tennis, shifted his weight instantly so he didn't fall or smash into the guy, and so his precious violin was well protected behind him. The guy was older and wearing what looked to be a quickly thrown on Hyoutei uniform. Ohtori didn't recognize him, but knew the guy would know who he was. Since he was made a sub-regular, positively everyone in the school knew who Ohtori was. Or so he thought. "Hey!" the guy yelled startled as Ohtori reached out his hands to grab and steady the guy so he didn't crash to the ground.

Out of habit, Ohtori said, "Sorry senpai, I didn't see you. Please forgive me. Are you all right?"

"Fine! Idiot! You ought to watch where you're going before you hurt someone!" Ohtori knew not to point out that he had almost avoided the collision, it was the senpai's clumsiness that accounted for him running into Ohtori.

"Again." Ohtori bowed, "I'm deeply sorry and am glad you are not injured." Especially your mouth seems to have survived unscathed, Ohtori thought annoyed and wondered to himself, Why would a guy sneaking around make so much noise?

"Yeah, well...you should be sorry." Ohtori had a feeling the guy only backed down because while height-wise they were around the same size, the guy was skinny and he was getting a good look at how broad Ohtori's shoulders were even under his jacket. Sometimes it was helpful being a big guy. The senpai must have noticed Ohtori's violin case strapped around his shoulder. "You play tennis in the club here?" The guy said and then narrowed his eyes almost suspiciously.

So suspiciously Ohtori felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he instinctively, from all the times with Takeo felt danger and coolly lied, "No. Music club. I play viola." Any idiot could see it was too small a case for a viola, and that it was not a tennis bag. Ohtori felt something was wrong. He realized the guy could be even older, maybe a high school student and that might be why he didn't know who Ohtori was or that he played tennis. But now that Ohtori looked a little closer, the guy's uniform looked to be the wrong size. The pants were too short and the jacket too large. Ohtori said, suddenly feeling threatened, "Well I have to run. I'll be late for club practice and I have all the sheet music for everyone. They're all waiting on me."

"Oh. Okay." The guy though wouldn't let him pass just yet. "Hey, you're not gonna tell anyone you saw me, right? You know, it could be bad for your health if you do. Real bad." The guy smirked and again seemed very confident. Ohtori had a feeling the guy was not alone, and he suddenly wanted to get the heck out of there before whoever he was with arrived.

"Of course not senpai. I never saw you leaving your girlfriend's, but I really must go or the other club members will come looking for me. I don't want anyone else not to see you, senpai." Ohtori smiled and put on his best innocent face.

It must have worked because the guy said, "Go on. And you'd better not say a word to anyone or you'll regret it." The guy smirked again.

Ohtori did his best to look worried, it was not too difficult, "I won't senpai. I promise."

As he rounded the corner of the building, Ohtori paused to listen. He wasn't sure why, he just felt it was important. Ohtori made an important discovery, the way the building with the area around it was laid out, it created a natural sound curve. As the guy who was such a jerk knocked on the door to the girl's dorm, Ohtori heard everything as clearly as if he were standing right next to him.

"Open up!" the jerk hissed.

"Shut up idiot or someone will hear you!" That was a girl's voice whispering back. Ohtori had heard her voice before, but couldn't place who she was. He strained to listen more as she whispered, "Did anyone see you?"

"No!" there was a pause and he said, "Not really, just some stupid little fat dork from the music club going to play the viola." Ohtori thought to himself that he was bigger than the jerk and there wasn't an ounce of fat on him anywhere.

"And you let him get away! You idiot! What if he tells someone he saw you?" She hissed at the guy, "How could you be so stupid?" Ohtori struggled to figure out who she was by her whispers.

"He won't!" The guy whispered insistently, "He thinks I'm his senpai visiting his girlfriend. It's fine, by the time anyone puts anything together it will be too late anyway. You keep your mouth shut though, or I'll tell them all about your little side plan, my darling sister."

"You wouldn't dare!" She whispered sneeringly back, "Brother or not, you say one word, just one, and I'll destroy you!"

"Promises, promises," he whispered, "Now let's go. We've got an hour to kill before they come for me. I can think of better things for you to do with that big fat mouth of yours, sister dear. You've gotta pay to play you know. Feel how hard you've got me already..."

Ohtori's jaw dropped in shock. "Again?" the girl whispered, and Ohtori's jaw dropped farther open, "Fine you bastard, let's go. You'd better be quick this time though, I gotta shower before ch..."

The door shut with an audible thud and Ohtori left. He resumed his jogging and worried about the other people coming for the guy. He wondered what it all meant and if he should tell anyone. And if he should tell, then exactly who he should tell whatever that was to. Shishido-san? Atobe-san? He didn't know. Maybe he should tell Shishido-san what happened and see what he thought. It was strange if nothing else. He wondered if Shishido-san would avoid him though today, and found himself again distracted and thinking about his senpai.

Ohtori was able to get a practice room, one of the bigger and better ones. He promptly lost himself for a long time in the music, and thought to himself as he played, sometimes smiling, other times with tears streaming down his face, that this also may have been exactly what he needed.

He needed Shishido-san and this. This was beautiful, a welcome feeling of being home. He was surrounded by the sounds of an entire orchestra and be able to simply blend in with them with no embarrassment or shame at out of practice he was.

Feeling good and free, Ohtori picked several favorites and when he felt like stopping and playing something else, there was no one to consult or console if he got his way. He thought he was probably playing music like Taki-san watched television-flipping through all the channels and never settling on one.

Ohtori was playing his last song. He was crying slightly, feeling overwhelmed by the beauty of the music, and the beauty of last night when he stopped the backgrounds. He listened to the last notes slip away to silence and then started putting his violin away. He didn't realize how late it was until then. He would have just enough time if he ran all out to go home and grab his things to make practice on time. He stupidly forgot to bring his cell phone so he couldn't even call and see if someone could bring his things. Although Taki-san might not want to after Ohtori pushed him, and Shishido-san probably wouldn't want to either.

He turned, lost in his thoughts, preparing to take off, but nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw someone else was in the room with him. He was so startled he yelled out a wordless cry.

His coach ignored his being startled as if Ohtori had known he was there, "Well done. Although your bowing is deplorable at best. It is obvious you haven't picked up your instrument in some time."

Ohtori deeply bowed and felt his face turn a deep shade of red, "Please forgive me! I thought this room was unoccupied and unscheduled."

"It was," his coach calmly said, dismissing his mortification with a wave of his hand. "But now I think a few mornings a week, you should be scheduled in here. I've been letting you off too easy with the piano. Your true talent lies in the violin, provided of course that you practice. Tell me, were you happy with your performance?"

Ohtori was still bowing but raised himself partly up at the unusual question. He had not been performing so much as playing around because he loved and missed it. He carefully thought out his answer despite the ticking clock because he truly respected his coach. "No sir. I enjoyed playing again and enjoyed the music, but I am...disgusted with how completely out of practice I have allowed myself to become. I am sorry anyone had to hear that."

His coach slightly smiled with one side of his face, in a way that Shishido-san might in about twenty years. It made Ohtori like his coach a little better just then. "Then at your next presentation, show me something you are happy with." Ohtori bowed again and thanked his coach. He knew now he was going to be late. There was no getting around it. His heart sank further and his stomach fluttered wildly around as his coach said, "I'll walk with you to practice. But first we should store your violin in my office. You shouldn't bring it with you to practice. The moisture from the showers will not be good for your instrument as you know. May I see it?" Ohtori nodded and unzipped his case. He handed his violin over with trembling hands. There was no way Ohtori could even attempt to run home. He decided to just hope for the best. His coach looked impressed and said, "This is a beautiful instrument. Older and finely made. Does it have a history?"

They locked the violin up in his coach's office, they walked to the tennis regulars clubhouse at a brisk pace. As they walked, Ohtori told the familiar family history of where his violin came from and how his grandfather obtained it when he was a young boy just learning how to play. Afterwards his coach asked him several questions. Most were things people usually asked him when they discovered that he played. Did he want to someday be a professional? What did he want to do when he grew up? Did he consider studying abroad ever? Ohtori told him the same thing he told everyone else, he was not sure of the specifics, but felt music would always be a part of his life. Other than that, he simply did not know.

After that, his coach chatted with him. He asked Ohtori how he liked being a sub-regular, and what he thought about the team. He asked Ohtori if now he was going to try his hand at singles or search for a new doubles partner.

Ohtori was shocked.

Only then did he fully realize that his coach knew most of his history. Perhaps even everything about him. He knew completely who Ohtori was, what had happened, and just by saying what he said, he acknowledged that he had heard about him and Takeo as a doubles team. True they were only in grade school, but they were, up until Takeo's illness, nationally ranked and undefeated with a long and promising future ahead of them.

Ohtori was too shocked to reply for a moment and listened instead to his coach talk. He didn't say the things Ohtori was sure all his other teachers and instructors would say if they heard what had happened. He didn't bother with the offers to talk if Ohtori ever "needed" to, or stupid sayings like his door always being open, or even mention more stupid sayings like one day at a time, or ridiculous religious quotations that instead of offering comfort, only served to enrage Ohtori.

Instead as they crested the hill where everyone else already seemed to be, their coach said, "If someone was graced with many talents, even with difficulties, obstacles, and large setbacks, do you believe it is unreasonable to still expect great things from that person? Perhaps even greater things because of their having to overcome those obstacles?" Ohtori shook his head no. It did not seem unreasonable. He thought of Shishido-san and all he had overcome. "That is why I still expect great things from Ohtori Choutarou."

Ohtori was again stunned. He thanked his coach because it seemed the proper thing to do, but he felt shaky from his words and their possible meanings. Their coach only nodded and walked away leaving Ohtori standing there feeling small and stupid. Not sleeping was catching up to him, and his emotions were already running high when he saw half the sub-regulars had turned to watch his unusual arrival with their coach. The other half were watching people already playing. Ohtori's heart sank as he realized they were watching Shishido-san play Atobe-san, and it looked like they had been going at it for a long time. Maybe even as long as Ohtori had been playing violin.

Taki-san was immediately by his side and for once Ohtori felt very relieved to see him. He said, "Hey. I didn't know what happened to you and you didn't have your phone. I thought maybe you were with Shishido but his things were gone, and yours weren't. Where did you go?" Taki-san looked at Ohtori who was empty handed having left his violin locked securely in their coach's office. "Oh hey, I brought your things, I hope that's okay."

Ohtori thanked him profusely and went to get dressed. Taki-san peppered him with questions and then gossip as he watched the freshman change. He seemed nervous and Ohtori could understand why. Finally as Ohtori was locking his locker up, Taki-san got to the point. "So, did you sleep well? You look tired."

He answered truthfully enough to Taki-san, "Sleeping pills sometimes leave me groggy the next day. I'm fine."

"Oh." Taki-san said and stood in Ohtori's way. "Look, we need to talk some things over, and I was thinking that maybe tonight, before the party, I could make dinner and we could talk. Just the two of us."

"Thanks, but you don't have to do that Taki-san..." Ohtori started but was interrupted.

"Yeah, but I want to." Taki-san said, "I'm feeling a bit homesick and was wanting some real food. Not restaurant or cafeteria crap, but you know, good stuff, and it's no fun to cook for yourself. And we can talk, which we really need to do. So, what do you say?"

"All right Taki-san. If you're sure it's no trouble..." Ohtori started but was again interrupted.

"Great! It's no trouble at all. I want to. Uh, about six?" Taki-san looked happy.

Ohtori smiled, "Thank you Taki-san. Six will be fine. Please let me know if I can help at all." Taki-san said he couldn't and then everyone filed in for the morning meeting. Both Shishido-san and Atobe-san were dripping with sweat, and their Vice-Captain's arm was draped around his senpai. For a change, Shishido-san looked elated and Atobe-san looked annoyed despite them both laughing. Ohtori tried to give a warm, friendly smile to his senpai, although it really hurt to see Shishido-san with Atobe-san together after how close his senpai and Ohtori had been just a few hours before.

Shishido-san looked right at him. Their eyes met. And then his senpai looked away.

That hurt even worse. Ohtori felt his face blushing deeply in shame and it felt like someone squeezed the middle of his chest. His heart started to pound, and he felt shaky as if he couldn't catch a breath. He willed himself to calm down, and tried to tell himself that this was just a reaction to their being so close the night before. It didn't mean anything. Like a tomcat or a stray dog. Nothing had changed. Shishido-san was still his sponsor and his big brother. He still liked Ohtori, still cared about him, and probably still wanted him like he said he did a couple of hours ago. Ohtori tried to convince himself that everything was all right, but he was failing miserably. He stared at his shoes, tried to take slow breaths, and listen to what was being said around him so he didn't cry right here in front of everyone.

People were still talking quietly around them, and waiting for their coach to come in. Coach liked to make a dramatic entrance Ohtori thought while he tried to hang on and not run out of the room in tears. Ohtori felt the heat from playing still radiating off his senpai as he stood behind him, before he was aware that he was there. In a very annoyed low voice, almost a growl that no one else but Ohtori heard, Shishido-san said, "What's with the fake smile?"

Ohtori was shocked, and felt shaky all over. He was struggling to keep from crying but wasn't sure if it was from being exhausted, or what their coach said to him, or knowing their coach knew about Takeo, or Shishido-san, or feeling hurt, or what. He glanced at his senpai who was standing so close to him, dripping with sweat after playing so hard. His senpai was still giving off so much heat and raw sexuality he was nearly glowing. Him standing so close didn't help Ohtori's shaky knees to hold him up, and he felt a fresh wave of dizziness wash over him mixed with almost overwhelming pain and desire. Ohtori licked his lips which were parched and whispered, "Sh...Shishido-senpai...I..."

His senpai must have seen how upset he was, and that he was a second away from tears. Ohtori didn't know if he moved down to Shishido-san's mouth or if Shishido-san stood on his toes to reach his ear, but his warm hand was cupped around his ear and his lips whispered so softly only Ohtori could hear, "I'm sorry, Choutarou. I'm sorry. Don't be upset. Everything is okay. We'll talk as soon as the meeting is over and you can tell me what's wrong then. All right? I'll warm up with you. I'll stay with you." Shishido-san paused for a moment as if thinking about it, "If you want me to?"

Ohtori didn't move except to nod. He saw that no one was really watching them except for Atobe-san who was watching Shishido-san, and Gakuto who noticed pretty much everything anyway.

Shishido-san whispered more, "Do you think you can give me a real smile now?"

Ohtori shook his head no.

His senpai sounded now like he was smiling, "Hmm..." he said as if thinking. "Not even if I tell you I missed you when I woke up this morning?"

Ohtori smiled slightly and felt his face turning crimson. He shook his head no again though.

"Hmm... All right what if I tell you that Atobe is staring at me furiously because I almost beat him? The game ended in a tie with me scoring the last point to tie us two to two."

Ohtori pulled back to look at his senpai in disbelief. No one ever beat Atobe-san. Despite himself, Ohtori smiled slightly.

Shishido-san nodded and came close to him to whisper again, "That's a little better. And what if I tell you...?"

Their coach walked in right then so Ohtori never got to hear the rest of what Shishido-san was going to say. The talking abruptly ceased and everyone stood almost at attention without anyone ordering them to. The meeting began.

As soon as the meeting was over, Shishido-san grabbed Ohtori by the elbow held him back from leaving as everyone filtered out around them. When only ten or so people were left, his senpai said softly, "What's wrong? You look tired." Ohtori shook his head no, and went to protest that he wasn't, but Shishido-san whispered, looking very embarrassed, "Do I snore?"

Ohtori blushed terribly bad. He could feel it in a warm rush of heat, but he tried to ignore it as he said, "N...no Shishido-senpai."

Shishido-san gave him that half smile, as if he found Ohtori blushing attractive. He whispered, "Well, do I talk or something in my sleep? Did I keep you up? Is that why you're tired? Is that why you left? Tell me, I won't be mad. I just...want to know."

Ohtori blushed even harder but now it was because he was both embarrassed and happy. He realized his senpai was asking him because he had no idea. Shishido-san had no idea what he did when he was asleep because he never slept next to anyone before. Ohtori had to keep from giggling again, and from looking at his senpai's lips. He licked his own and saw his senpai watching his mouth too. Ohtori's heart pounded and he felt himself getting hard just from wanting to be kissed by his senpai more. He blushed more at the thoughts, and then realized what Shishido-san also said. Ohtori asked, "Why I left? To go running?" Shishido-san looked confused. Ohtori tried again, "I asked you to come with me, but you said you wanted to sleep more. So I went to go practice Shishido-senpai." Shishido-san looked even more confused. Ohtori explained further, "Music."

Shishido-san looked bewildered, "I don't remember any of that. I said I wanted to sleep more?"

Ohtori nodded and thought of a lie, because he worried if he didn't then Shishido-san wouldn't let him sleep next to him anymore. "Yes. That's the only reason I left, but I shouldn't have." Shishido-san looked at him and in a look asked Ohtori why and what he meant by that. "I'm tired because I got up too early." Ohtori whispered as there were still three people in the room. Two talking and one crossing rapidly to them. "I should have stayed in bed and slept more. With you." Ohtori said so softly he wasn't sure if his senpai could hear him.

By the answering smile he gave though, Shishido-san heard. "Next time, you'll have to." Shishido-san said with another half smile. He was looking at Ohtori as if he wanted to tell him again he wanted him. Ohtori was already in the middle of a deep blush, one of the ones where he knew he was blushing even to his neck and scalp. He had a feeling this one was turning even darker than his worst though.

The person crossing the room to reach them, chose that moment to arrive and speak. "IF you're finished?" Atobe-san said in nearly a snarl. The three of them moved to the door. "Shishido, you can warm up with me, Ohtori, go practice."

Ohtori bowed and went to run out past them, but Shishido-san stopped him by grabbing his elbow again. "I'm sorry Atobe, I'm warming up with Ohtori this morning." Atobe-san looked shocked. Ohtori noticed out of the corner of his eye that everyone in the room was listening to them with rapt attention. Shishido-san must have noticed too. "I need to check on that thing, remember? Make sure it's not still bothering him as you suggested last night."

Atobe-san smiled but his eyes were cold and furious. Maybe even jealous Ohtori noticed. He said, "Of course. Then you'll have to wait for us to finish our little game until sometime later."

Ohtori thought Atobe-san expected Shishido-san to say something about how he looked forward to it or something like that. But Shishido-san did not. All he said was, "Of course." He said it as if he was saying "whatever" in a nonchalant tone. As if he couldn't care less.

Ohtori watched as Atobe-san had a tiny reaction. All that happened was his lips tightened for less than a second. He turned and quickly walked away as if dismissing the both of them. "Kabaji!" He yelled, expecting the hulking freshman to be within earshot. "Warm up with me!"

"Yes!" Kabaji yelled from wherever he was and appeared at their Vice-Captain's side. The two of them quickly walked away.

"Shishido-san..." Ohtori whispered, worried.

Shishido-san turned to him and shrugged. "Yeah," he looked concerned for a moment too, and then seemed to dismiss it. "I do need to make sure you're all right." Ohtori was confused. "Let's go before he makes us run," Shishido-san said and touched Ohtori's shoulder to let him know what he meant.

Ohtori had forgotten it was even sore the day before. It was completely better after laying all night in that very comfortable bed. Ohtori though expected he would be sore in places that hadn't been sore in a long time tomorrow from playing the violin this morning. Unless he got to sleep in that bed again, with his senpai. Blushing again at his newest thoughts, Ohtori followed his senpai out into the sunshine.

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Learning to Land