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Relax and Hang On -- Again	By : cupnjava Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 20723 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author’s Note: Don’t wanna read this crap? Skip to the three lines.
I’ve been told I need to make three words clear -- so that they will not be misconstrued as typos.

Froward (not forward) -- (adj.) habitually disposed to disobedience and opposition.

Unwonted (not unwanted) -- (adj.) (using the first definition) being out of the ordinary

Occident (not accident) -- (noun) regions or countries lying to the west of a specified or implied point of orientation. (an antonym of the word Orient)
After the fourth person said, “Don’t you mean forward / unwanted?” I figured I’d add a note. After the fourth , “How are you using accident?” , I figured I’d add a note.

Summary -- This is an unexpected chapter. That’s what I get for assuming the author has any control over this thing. This is what happens when there isn’t enough sugar in the lemonade. We’re getting into some heavier kink here -- not super heavy. Don’t want to -- as I’ve been warned, “Send your readers away screaming.” For those of you who are sensitive to these types of scenes, remember this is a scene. This is a throw back to a pre-negotiated relationship. In other words, don’t try this at home. Unless you know what you are doing. *wink*
A good amount of plot development -- sheesh--- What can you do?

Just to make sure it comes across, this section should throw Sanzo’s previous conversations under different light.

My PSA for this chapter: Remember thousands of people are killed each year by an “unloaded” handgun. DON’T DO IT.

Mzblue -- I remembered your comments from “Of Her Nature”. A little hetero. for the het fans.
Alright yaoi fans, I heard that groan. Cut me a little slack, please. Hakkai is bandaged fifty ways to Yule and Gojyo insists on willing, conscious, non-bleeding partners.
Oh….the Sanzo X Goku thing….oh yes…well… see that’s complicated.

Musical selections:

“She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I’d ever seen….knocking me out with those American thighs…..working double time on the “seductional“…she was one of a kind. She’s just mine all mine. ..you shook me all night long”
“You give love a bad name.”
“Welcome to the Jungle.”
“I’m a Bitch.”
“Take my breath away” (huh, how’d that get in there?)
And some techno remixes.
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Relax and Hang On VII -- “Predilection”

Gojyo rounded a corner with his spare set of clothing draped over a shoulder. Tano and Sanzo were walking toward him. When they passed, Gojyo and Sanzo made eye contact and offered each other the I-know-you-and-I-know-you-know-me-I’m-saying-hello-but-I’m-too-cool-to actually-speak guy head nod.
Tano and Sanzo stopped at a door.
Gojyo continued down the hall toward the showers. He heard a door close behind him and lifted an eyebrow. Tano and Sanzo ..alone…in a room? He shrugged and figured this could wait until he was clean.
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Tano closed the door behind them.
While Sanzo removed the scripture from his shoulders, Tano dropper her pack and medical bag on the floor. She scanned the room as Sanzo rolled up the sutra. He put the sutra and his personal effects on the nightstand. The robe dropped from Sanzo’s shoulders.
This room had a slotted-sleigh queen-sized bed. Tano smiled. She reached up and snatched a fistful of blonde hair.
Sanzo’s head flew back, “Damn it, I’m not in the mood for this shit.”
She yanked on him and turned her hand as his back was pushed into a wall. “Oh…I think you are.” She pulled his head down and pushed her lips against his. Her tongue probed his mouth.
Sanzo fell into the rhythm of the kiss and took in her scent. Yes…just like old times.

Tano broke off the kiss and gazed into Sanzo’s violet eyes. His lips were slightly parted and a little pink from the pressure of the kiss.
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The Merciful Goddess stood from her chair. He was her nephew…seeing him like this just creeped her out.
She’d make Jirohsin watch and have him tell her when the “story” below got good again.

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Sanzo softly spoke, “I don’t think this is appropriate for someone of my position.”
Tano leaned into him. She slid her hand from his hair to his shoulder. Her other hand wormed its way around his waist. “Oh…I’ll show you position.” She lifted on her tip toes and ran her tongue from his ear to the collar of his black shirt.
Sanzo’s head eased back as he gave into her oral attentions. “Fuck you,” breathlessly escaped his lips.
“Exactly. That’s right, Kory, fuck me.”
Sanzo’s knees slightly buckled as the use of the nickname flooded him with memories. He wouldn’t have a even the suggestion of a moment to savor this trip on memory lane.
She gripped his shoulders and whirled him around. She pushed him backwards on to the bed.
He adjusted his position on the bed as she stepped from her shoes. The lab coat fell from her. She crawled up the bed after him. She straddled his thighs and worked his black, silk, sash belt. She tucked his belt in her waistband. She shifted her weight as she opened his robes, straddled his hips and bent over him.
She pushed her lips into his and again her tongue probed him. When she broke the kiss she trapped his bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes gently scanned him. She released his lip and noticed the flushness to his face and the tint to his lips. “Do you still remember the words?”, whispering as she walked kisses to his ear.
He whispered, “How could I forget?”
She smiled as she reached a hand behind her back. She pulled the sash from her waist band and treaded it through four slots on the sleigh headboard. She gave the two loose ends a good tug.
With skill gained from repetition, she tugged on his skin-tight, silk, black, armless shirt and pulled it off him.
Blonde hair danced around violet as he shook himself free of the cloth. “This has gone far enough.”
Tano smiled. “I don’t agree. I’m just getting started.” She shifted her weight and knelt beside his hips.
Sanzo jerked his upper body off the mattress and tried to roll off the bed.
She whipped a hand to his shoulder and shoved him onto his back. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Stop it, bitch.”
“Asshole, you’re in my jungle now. You don’t have a say in this.” She jumped onto his hips.
Sanzo‘s lower body pushed into the mattress as her thighs crossed his hips. “I said stop.”
“Do you dare speak? Fuck you.” She crossed her arm in front of her chest and backhanded him.
His head jerked to the side. When he recoiled, he slightly smiled. His insides flipped and his mind swooned. Sanzo was a man of extremes and she knew it. “Let me get my gun and you won’t be so brave.”
She rolled her eyes. She leaned over and grabbed his run.
Her t-shirt covered breast was next this mouth. He parted his lips and bit into her.
She yelped as the gun briefly fumbled in her hands. She worked the break and dumped the bullets on the floor. She slid a hand to his shoulder and pinched.
He released his teeth.
She spun the barrel and closed the break. She pushed the gun to his temple. “Any more smart-ass comments?”
He whipped a hand to her wrist and pulled the gun from his temple.
She twisted her arm from his grab, “Oh, we’re taking care of this problem right now.” She tucked he gun into her waist band and grabbed his wrists.
She yanked his arms over his head and pushed them into the pillow. She trapped his wrists under one of her hands. With her free hand, she grabbed the loose ends of the sash; pushed his palms together (with the ends of the sash between them); wrapped an end around each wrist and tied the pieces of silk together. She ran a finger between the sash and his flesh. Green glanced at violet.
Sanzo interlaced his fingers and he worked the silk leads into the webbing between his thumbs and index fingers.
He yanked on the sash and dug his heels into the mattress. He tried to buck her off.
She gripped into his shoulders and gritted her teeth, “Still have fight in you, prick?”
“Don’t think you can subdue me so easily, cunt.”
“What the fuck did you just call me?” She backhanded him and returned her swipe with a slap. She put her nose just a whisper from his, “I have you now. I have you helpless. There’s nothing you can do about it. Help-less.” Her tongue tapped the tip of her upper teeth on the l’s in helpless.
Sanzo silently mouthed the word.
“Help-less.” Tongue tips touched on the l’s.
“Help-less”
“Help-less”
“Hellllpllless.”
Sanzo’s dick hardened. It had been too long since he’d been handled this way. The other women since her acted like they wanted a challenge, but none of them lived up to it like she did. Maybe it was their history, he knew he could trust her. He also knew she’d keep her mouth shut. If this got around, he’d have to kill --everyone.
Sanzo was sick as shit over people treating him like a sickly-child… handling him with kid gloves….regarding him as some porcelain doll that needed to be in a glass-box…walking on egg shells around him ….treating him like he was the one that needed protection. Sick--- sick to death of it. He did this to prove to himself and others that he wasn’t something that needed to kept on a shelf. He did this because he truly believed , ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.’ He was so wrapped up in striving to be stronger; he’d forgotten how to feel.
He’d failed to realize that people walked on eggshells around him out of self preservation. They didn’t want to piss him off. They knew he was strong -- strong enough to make them take their last breath. He didn’t know they knew.
She whipped her head from his and wiggled down his body. She worked his leather belt open and slid it from the loops. She folded it over itself and held the ends. She pushed her fists together and jerked them apart. The smooth leather snapped together. She smiled.
“Don’t even go there.”
“I’ll go anywhere I damn well please.” She shook her head softly, “You’ve become insolent…froward … in my absence. You’ve forgotten your training.”
“You never trained me.”
Her head swayed side to side, “Oh, I trained you. I never tamed you.”
She sat the belt on the bed and worked his button. She pulled his waistband open and the zipper softly succumbed to her will.
Sanzo bucked his hips and kicked his legs. “Damn it, I said stop.”
She clenched her fingers into the denim as she rode out his “struggling”. Her voice took on a mocking tone, “What? Temptation getting a little hard to resist?”
“Bitch”
“Asshole”

She worked his pants around his hips and pulled them off his legs. The thick fabric flumped on the floor.
He kicked his legs at her. She dodged his feet and drew the gun. It clicked as she cocked it.
He froze. He didn’t see that angle of the weapon very often. It was intimidating -- even unloaded.
She softly released the hammer with her thumb, straddled his thighs and scanned him. Laying on the bed under her was the blonde that lingered in her dreams… in all his glory. The black arm coverings made a stark contrast to his pale skin and blonde hair. His hands were restrained over his head and trapped to the bed. The muscles in his chest flexed as he breathed. The violet gaze, that normally pierces souls, carried an alluring softness. His face was flush. His lips, puffy and tinted red from the rough kisses. His cheeks reddened from the attentions from her hands. His stomach softly rose and fell, the rips and cuts of his muscle tone flexed and urged her to him. His hipbones highlighted the shading of the ever-sensual “v”. Her head tilted down and followed that “v” to its destination. His cock was fully rigid and surrounded by a soft halo of golden hair.
She tilted her eyes up and caught his gaze through her eyelashes. “How does it make you feel to be so open… vulnerable… and at my mercy?”
Sanzo pushed his head back into the pillow as his mind was flooded with a myriad of feelings, emotions and thoughts. He couldn’t sift through them if he had too. He always had to be the strong one…the stoic one. He had to be the rock…the anchor. He had to be the protector. He didn’t want any of that. He just wanted to be him.
Fate would have it that he would meet three men that accepted him, on some levels needed him , but didn’t need his protection. As fate would have it, he’d met a woman that wanted him , on some levels needed him, but did not need nor want his protection. As fate would have it, he was a fucking priest.
Violet locked with green. Right now, he felt vulnerable, open, exposed, confident, self-conscious, illicit, comfortable, unburdened and free. “T’ssss”, was all he said. He closed his eyes and turned his head.
He heard a slap and felt a sting across his stomach.
His eyes popped open and looked down his body at Tano. She held the belt in her hands. “When I ask you a direct question, you are to answer.”
She held the looped belt in her right hand and her left hand traveled the length of the loop. She carefully palmed the buckle. Her right hand tilted back as she left pulled on the leather. Left fingers straightened and the leather arched in the air. A slap was heard.
The sting radiated from the point of contact around his skin and through his body. Warmth spread as the pale skin tinged pink.
Sanzo gasped. He wasn’t sure which he liked more the sharp sound or the soft sting.
Slap
Moan
His abdomen clenched and his insides curled. He pulled against his restraints and his back arched.
Slap
Moan
His shoulders pulled and his heels dug in as he tried to lift off the mattress.
Slap
Moan ….hiss
His mind swam and spun as the endorphins began to kick in. His stomach was all a flame. She didn’t hit the same spot; she crossed the lashes. Creamy pale skin was striped with pink and dotted with red.
“How do you feel, Kory?”
Slap
Moan…hiss.
His bottom lip curled into his teeth and his eyes sought out hers. He softly whispered, “Illicit.”
She placed the belt beside her on the bed. She smiled and ran her fingers across his tinged skin, “Not good enough. I want you to feel tainted.”
His now sensitive stomach curled under her attentions. His hips pushed into her. He lifted her light frame slightly. Taken off balance, she fell forward. “Still resisting?”
“That -- I am.”
“Tsk…tsk,” Her hands danced from his hips to his shoulders. He writhed under her. She pushed on his pects and sat up. She crossed her arms in front of her and pulled her shirt off.
He watched as her braless breasts bounced when they were freed of the cloth coverings. Her freckles roamed across her chest. That was his weakness -- freckles. He bucked his hips and she fell forward again. He lifted his knees and pushed her up his body. He nipped on her ear, neck and shoulders. She shifted forward and his tongue traveled to her chest. He tried to connect all those freckles with warm, velvety wetness.
Her hands traveled across his chest, over his shoulders and along his arms. She leaned forwarded as she wrapped her free hands around his bound hands.
The tip of his tongue slid across the side of her breast and swirled around her nipple. He curled his tongue around the underside of the nipple and sucked it into his mouth.
She let out a soft gasp as her back arched, allowing him more access.
He rocked his hips into hers. His hot, flushed, sensitive skin pushed into the fabric of her pants. He bucked his back and released her nipple with a pop.
Her head and shoulders flew back. Her head rolled forward, green found violet. Her shoulders dropped slightly as she let out a soft breath. Her lips parted and her bottom teeth were briefly exposed as she took in a breath. She dropped forward and pressed her lips into his.
Her hands pushed into the mattress beside his chest and she bolted off him. She pulled the gun from her waist band and held the grip in her teeth. She stood on the floor next to the bed and her hands worked her pants’ button. The button released and she pulled the zipper down. Her pants fell with gravity.
Sanzo looked at her with his gun in her mouth. “Tsk, still wearing clothing that’s too big.”
She whipped her panties off and pounced on him. She slid the gun between his lips.
The metal hit his teeth and he parted his jaws. He could taste the gun oil and smell the lingering scent of spent gun powder. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose.
“Do you want something in there so badly?”
He tongued the barrel.
“You’re enjoying this too much.” She pulled the gun from his mouth.
A pink tongue tip lingered between white teeth for want of sensation.
“How do you feel, Kory?”
“Wanting.”
She softly shook her head and squared herself over his hips. His firm member slid along and between her labia -- just shy of true penetration. She rocked her hips and gyrated against him. She sat the gun on the bed.
He gripped his silk restraints and pushed his head into the pillow. He softly moaned.
Slap
Sanzo took in a sharp breath, his back arched as best as he could and his eyes squeezed shut.
She leaned over him and whispered, “I have you trapped. You have two choices, pleasure or pain. I will taint you. I will stain you. I will have you. Do you admit defeat?”
“No.”
Maybe the fact that he was a Priest didn’t completely fade away when he was with her.
She smiled at his ear, “Think of the situation, Kory. Here you are tied to a bed, laying naked on your robes, with a naked woman on you.” She rocked her hips against him. “You’re practically fucking on your robes. How is that if you aren’t …tainted?” She knew this was a mental game for him. She knew she had to get into his head. She knew she could.
A tingle ran trough Sanzo’s body. He shivered as he tried to shake the sweetness from him. Sweetness that can only be felt during forbidden activities.
He felt her wetness against his member and his robes on his back.
Forbidden, prohibited, illicit, barred, taboo, verboten -- those evoke stirrings from Sanzo. Doing what he wasn’t allowed to do…being rogue …being unwonted.
Slap
Moan … hiss. Sanzo jerked under the sudden re-attentions of the leather.
She smiled watching his dance. “Count.”
“One,” softly left his lips.
Slap
Moan..hiss. “Two.”
His voice began to quake at eight. He swallowed hard and took in a sharp breath through his teeth. His abdomen was more pink than white now.
The endorphins made his head swoon.
Slap
Moan….gasp…hiss “Nine”
Sanzo tightened his muscles waiting for the next hit. He knew it was coming …she never stopped on an odd number. His breath hitched. His jaw set. His eyes remained tightly shut.
…
Was it coming?
…
When was it coming?
…
He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
…
He could hear his pulse
…
He could feel his own sweat.
…
Every one of his senses peaked on edge.
…
The anticipation was about to kill him. God…please do it. Make me feel.
….

His muscles relaxed as he was forced to take a breath.
Slap
He cried out. He caught his breath and whispered, “Ten.” The word nearly caught in his throat.
The leather felt warm in her hands. She ran the tip of her tongue across his angered flesh -- from his belly button to his chin. She rounded the curve of his chin and pressed her lips into his. Her tongue darted and danced around his. She tapped her tongue against his teeth as she pulled her face from his. “How do you feel, Kory?”
He opened his eyes and built up, involuntary tears trickled toward his ears, “Taboo.”
She smiled softy and shifted back on to her hips. She angled forward slightly and pushed her hips against him. She rubbed her clitoris along the shaft of his cock. She let out a soft moan.
Sanzo could feel her wet warmth rub against him. He began to rock his hips meeting her movements.
Green locked with violet. Her hands trailed along the side of her face. They pulled slightly on her bottom lip and her fingertips rounded the curve of her chin. Her fingers spread along the front of her throat and one hand continued its journey between her breasts. She changed the angle of her arm just below her breasts and pushed her fingers in to herself. She silently mouthed, ‘Watch me’. As she began to diddle her clit. Her free hand pressed into his thigh -- slightly arching her back -- fully opening herself to his view.
Sanzo could feel her hips shifting and her fingers brushing against him. She let out a moan as she gave into her own sensations.
His hips began to rock with more force and she pressed her fingers harder into herself.
Her moans shifted to breathy “hhhhaaa’s”, with an open mouth exhale on the “h” and a closed teeth inhale on the “a”.
He tightened his muscles and pushed against her. He felt her fingers circle around her nub and the head of his cock.
She began to bounce on him and her “ha’s” became more frequent. He saw her stomach quiver and a loud hiss came from between her lips. Her body shook and curled over. She whipped a hand down to catch her fall, just short of crashing into him.
Her shoulders shook and her head tilted up. Half-lidded green met with violet.
He watched her the whole time.
“How do you feel, Kory?”
He briefly wondered why she kept using his name…that was new. He slowly blinked his eyes and whispered, “Unwonted.”
Her eyes took on a softness and her head titled to the side, “Unwonted or unwanted?”
He lifted an eyebrow briefly, “Unwonted.”
She smiled and shifted down his body. She positioned her knees between his and wrapped her hand around his cock. She began stroking him.
He looked down his body and saw her gazing at him. Her face just inches from his firm member. She pointed her tongue and tipped his cock. She could taste herself on his skin.
He closed his eyes and rested his head back. He became engulfed in warm wetness. She moved her head from side to side and darted her tongue across the underside of his cock. She pulled her head back and flicked her tongue across the tip. He felt himself slide against the velvet softness of her tongue and her nose pushed into his mons.
She trailed her fingers along his inner thigh and she caressed his balls. Her thumb brushed his opening.
He moaned and arched from the bed.
She pushed her thumb into him. She used no lubricant --- he didn’t want it.
His mouth opened in a silent yelp and he took in a forced breath.
She backed her head and touched the tip of her tongue to the tip of his cock. “Judging by the reaction, I’m assuming you haven’t gotten the monkey to bed you.”
Sanzo took in a sharp breath through his teeth, “You assume too much.”
She wiggled her thumb and ran her tongue down his shaft, “Oh, really?”
He moaned, “You assume, he’s the one I want.”
Her mouth surrounded him. She increased her suction and tightened her lips around him.
He gasped, “You assume, I haven’t.”
She pushed her thumb into him and backed it out…timing it with her oral attentions.
Sanzo let out a soft gasp and inhaled through his teeth, “You assume, I have.”
She lifted her face from him and teethed the head of this cock, “So tell me. As I do this which of your companions do you see in you eyelids?” She swirled her tongue around the head of his member. “Who do you see, Kory?”
She suddenly deep-throated him and pushed her thumb into him.
He softly cried out and pushed his head into the pillow. He’d never tell her, some thoughts were meant to be private.
She backed her head away from him and looked around the room. “What was that?”
Sanzo wrinkled his eyes-brows, “What was what?” The cool room air danced around his wet member.
She shrugged, “I thought I heard someone scream.”
Sanzo hmm’d, “I didn’t hear anything.”
She began crawling up his body, “You didn’t say anything, either.”
“My silence is causing you auditory hallucinations?”
She sat down on his hips. Alright wise-ass, I’m gonna fix your little red wagon. Her hands curled around his hips and slid up his sides. She raked her short rounded nails down his skin. Truth be told she was one of the rare dommes that reveled in a SAM (Smart-Ass Masochist).
Sanzo took in a sharp breath and slowly let it out.
She shifted her hips and positioned the head of his cock next to her opening.
He could feel the warmth from her.
She slid her hands up his sides and dug her fingers into his ribs. She tickled him. She tickled him good and hard.
He slammed his mouth shut and his body jerked. His body jerked him right into her.
She nearly lost her tickle as he filled her depths. She let out a loud moan.
Sanzo was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to moan.
She found a tentative balance over his jerkings and returned to her tickles.
Sanzo pushed his lips together. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of making him laugh. He tired to block the tickles from his mind. His face scrunched. His head whipped from side to side. His hips bucked and jerked.
She tickled harder.
Sanzo’s face began to hurt. It felt as if his clenching was pushing his teeth backward into his gums. The tightness in his eyelids flashed different colors. His neck was so tense it was difficult to breathe.

He broke.

He howled.

He thrashed.
She continued her unrelenting tickles.
His whole body shook under the involuntary muscle quakes and laughter. His eyes began to water. His breath kept catching in his throat. This began to hurt ….he began to enjoy it. “Reverse!”
That was one of the words. She stopped all her movements and remained very still.
Sanzo panted.
She watched him carefully, “Reverse or neutral?”
Sanzo’s pants slowed, “Neutral, now.”
“You lost your breath didn’t you?” She knew that was one of Sanzo’s hard and fast limits. No gags --- no messing with his breath. He couldn’t stand the feeling of asphyxiation…the feeling of drowning. She didn’t fully know why, but she respected his limits nonetheless. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t careful enough.” She patiently waited for the third word.
Sanzo’s breath returned to normal -- for the circumstances. He finally spoke, “Forward.”
She curled forward and grabbed his pects for leverage. She slowly eased her hips up and slammed them down on him. She tilted her hips with every stroke-- moving in more of a ellipse than a true line.
Sanzo’s shoulders and head rose from the bed and bounced back down to it.
She increased force and speed.
Sanzo bounced on and off the bed under her. He was a blur of blonde and violet.
She rocked and bounced over him. Her pony-tail bounced from around her. Her breasts shook. Her green eyes swam in a blur of orange-red.
She gripped into him. Her nails dug half-moon marks in his chest.
Sanzo was enswathed with the “proscribed” sensations from his groin, the searing heat across his abdomen, the sharp pinches in his chest, and the spinning from

off-set equilibrium in his head.
She cried out, “How do you feel, Sanzo?”
He became stained. The sound of his title and now name punctured his ears and ran straight through to his nether regions. Abashed pleasure exploded in him. He cried out an incomprehensible sound.
She watched his reaction and knew he was cumming. She didn’t let up on speed, force or rhythm. She knew most men like all action to stop during orgasm…she wasn’t going to let him have that. He came with her running full hilt.
He screamed as he pulled on the restraints. The slots threatened to break. He slowly opened his eyes as he recoiled from rolling euphoria.
She slowed her movements and panted over him.
He softly spoke, “Tainted.”
She smiled.
“Get your fingers out of my chest.” The game was up. He’d be damned if he was anyone’s sub out of a scene.
She softly giggled as she moved her hands. She felt his skin stick to her hands. Two red pressure hand marks were left on his pale chest. “Heh, hope the monkey -- or whoever your fucking -- doesn‘t get pissed.”
“Tch.”
Her nimble practiced fingers quickly released his restraints. She rolled off him and tossed him his clothes.
He rubbed his wrists and turned his hands as his clothes fell on his sensitive stomach. He gasped softly.
She pulled on her clothes and sat in a chair. He stood and got dressed. He pushed his now soiled robes to the side -- with a barely perceptible smile --- and sat on the bed. He fished a cigarette out, “That shit was lame. I didn’t even loose consciousness once.”
She rolled her eyes as she found her smokes, “Bite me. One, I didn’t know it was you I was coming to see -- so I didn’t bring my toys. Two, I didn’t want to risk taking you out of commission while you are on your oh-so-important task. Three, it would have been irresponsible for me to pick up right where we left off. I didn’t know if you had fallen out of practice -- like you obviously have.”
Sanzo hmmp’d.
“See me when your task is over and we’ll see who calls whom lame.”
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Jiroshin walked into her office, he was visibly shaken.
She looked up from the documents on her desk and sighed. Konzen’s interim replacement sucked. She yawned -- big , long and loud. “Well…?”
“Uhhh…my….Lady…..” Jiroshin threw his hands out and gripped a chair. He manhandled himself into it. He flopped against the back of the chair.
She rolled her eyes, “Oh please…it isn’t worth all that.”
He swallowed hard. “I feel the need to bathe.” He wondered if a god could resign. “Do people really do that…I mean other than him?”
She folded her hands on the desk and took on a sweet motherly look, “I’m sure ..that was tame.” She’d seen them before (once was enough) and if Jiroshin was back this quickly…it couldn’t have been all that involved.
“I just don’t understand.”
She sighed -- heavily. “It makes sense if you really think about it. It’s the only way he can let go. He has all this on him. He has to be put in the position of lacking choice -- at least the semblance of it. You remember how he was when he was up here. The strongest people tend to be the most subservient in bed. It’s the only way he can feel, Jiroshin.”
Jiroshin tried to shake the visuals from his mind.
“Besides, when you get past all the simulacrum trappings, it’s really the subs that have all the control. They set the limits. They have to be willing. They call the shots. They can stop everything with one word. “
Jiroshin pressed his hands to his face.
She kicked her feet up on the desk, “Oh my…Self.” A cocky smile briefly graced her holier-than-thou lips. “This is so boring! Is Hakkai awake yet?”
Jiroshin’s head dropped; he knew he had another task.
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Gojyo walked into “their” room. He stood with damp clean clothes in his hand, dry clean clothes on his body and dry hair. He scanned the room.
Goku had fallen asleep on top of the sheet next to Hakkai. The small man-child had his head on Hakkai’s shoulder. Goku was curled up in a semi-ball, with one arm tucked up under his chin, touching Hakkai’s straight arm. Goku slept the same way he ate, with reckless abandon -- normally. He seemed to understand, even during rest, the fragile condition of the friend next to him. He was still sleeping soundly, but without the normally wild positions. Gojyo was torn between finding it incredibly sweet and feeling a little of jealous over someone else being in bed with Hakkai.

Goku and Hakkai, now that’s just silly talk. Right?

It’s not like… he had the right to be jealous, or anything. It’s not like… they had any kind of declared commitment with each other. It’s not like… he and Hakkai had actually discussed this relationship of theirs. Was it a relationship? What kind of one? Did it even matter? Hakkai wasn’t some object that he had purchased the exclusive rights to -- ya know. I mean…I’m Sha Gojyo…drifter lover. I can’t be tamed. No, I can’t be restrained. And, I don’t want to be. No…no…I don’t want to be. He could lie to himself, yes, he was good at that -- well practiced -- indeed.
These feelings….this connection. It just isn’t me. It’s just not how I’m suppose to do things. Nope...I’m not suppose to feel this way. It is nice though…no, it’s not. No, I have no right. So what,…we screw…it hasn’t really meant anything to me in the past and why should it now? He could try to rationalize it all he wanted in his head. He could try to declare he and Hakkai were simple friends with benefits and pretend that was what it was. But, he could never deny the twinge inside his chest, the twist inside his stomach, and the itch in his jaw --- he could ignore it….he couldn’t deny it -- and that just irritated him. And…confused him.

Why should things with Hakkai be any different? Friends….friends that fuck. It’s that simple. It is that simple. It is. Damn it….damn it all.

Kenren softly shook his head. This also felt familiar.
How was it that -- that green eyed man through kindness, gentleness, and softness slipped in under thickened skin and self-abused mentality? And, how was it, that green-eyed man managed to stay --to stick-- when no one else could or would. Why was it that green-eyed man changed things with subtle grace? Why did those soft emerald eyes, just assume that they weren’t suppose to leave --- suppose to leave crimson --- suppose to walk out -- like all the others. Why was he there when morning broke? Damn him…damn those emerald eyes for making him feel this way -- and love him for it --- love him for it all the same.
Gojyo shook his head softly and draped his clothing across the back of the chairs. Beer. He wanted beer…now. Cold beer…lots of it. Technically, he wouldn’t be drinking alone. He was technically with people. Technically.
He rationalized not needing meetings as he stepped from the room. The kitchen had long since closed, but he managed to get to the bar just in time.
Gojyo returned with the beer. He sat down on a chair, leaned his back against his damp tank-top and popped open a can. The golden liquid was cool and flavorful. He lit a smoke and watched the two of them sleep. Hakkai’s chest gently rose and fell in a nice safe rhythm. Goku had drool on the side of his mouth.
He took a moment to think about his new family -- what they’d been through and what they were no doubt going to go through. His mind ran through a cornucopia of memories -- before the mission and during. Makes sense if ya really think about it. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
It wasn’t long before Gojyo rested his cheek against his fist. His eyelids slowly dropped. A soft gentle snore could be heard.
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The Merciful Goddess repeatedly bounced her crossed leg and gripped her throne arms. “Oh! You’ve got to be kidding me!” She nearly felt like screaming from boredom --- again.
Jiroshin cringed.
“What is up with this boring ass shit?”
Jiroshin sighed. “Hakkai was born human. He took serious injuries. It’s going to take a while for him to heal.”
She sucked her teeth.
“You thought it would be funny -- no, I’m sorry, you’re words to me --after a cackle -- and I quote ‘Get a load of this shit, Jiroshin.’ --when you decided to get them to Tano. You choose to not get them to a chi user. I don’t want to hear it.” Jiroshin rolled his eyes.
“Jiroshin…you’re getting close to sarcasm and dare I say flippant?” She smiled.
Jiroshin looked at his feet.
She let out a huff and pouted. “These four are my only source of entertainment.” She rolled her head back and opened her mouth widely , “I’m so bored!” She slapped her hands on to the arms of her throne and stood up. “We’re doing something about this shit.”
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Sometime…during the deep of the night…unbeknownst to anyone…a dotted spectrum of light danced down Hakkai’s body. A spectrum of merciful light --- healing light. The shadow of a peacock briefly graced a wall.
Dawn broke.
Hakkai fluttered his eyes open. He felt pressure on his shoulder, Gojyo. He slowly turned his head and looked down his body. That was not crimson hair. His eyes widened as he jerked his face toward the ceiling. He blinked his eyes and did a body scan. He felt great. He felt rejuvenated. He felt…naked. His heart began to pound in his chest. His eyes scanned the room and found Gojyo asleep at the table his fist tucked under cheek. His head lazily relaxed to one side --snoring.
He cleared his throat, “Excuse me, can someone please tell me why I’m naked and in bed with Goku?” He began to think it was a little suspicious that every time he was knocked-out, he woke up either naked or in a different set of clothes. Someone enjoyed undressing him and he wasn’t sure he was entirely comfortable with that.
Gojyo slowly opened his eyes as Hakkai’s words entered his ears. He smiled and darted to the side of the bed. “You’re awake.”
Hakkai smiled, “You’re ok. I was afraid that I….” his voice trailed off. Gojyo had seen him in demon form. He knew that was hideous. His face burned with embarrassment and self-consciousness. He turned his face away from Gojyo.
Gojyo gingerly touched Hakkai’s chin and turned emerald eyes --- which now carried a slightly darker almost smoky tint to them --- toward crimson eyes. “Now, now…where’s that coming from? You’d never hurt me and you know it.”
Smokey emerald hid behind lightly tan skin, “But…you saw….me….” He couldn’t get him self to say it.
“Tell ya truth, Hakkai, it was kinda sexy.” Bullshit it was kinda sexy -- it was very sexy. Hakkai in his raw form. Hakkai wallowing in his animalistic side. Hakkai ….damn it if only Goku wasn’t here.

Crimson lips pressed into emerald lips.
“Oh gods! Not again…eeeewwww!” Goku whined. “That is so weird…you two.”
Hakkai blushed. The secret was out. “G-G--Goku.” Wait a minute…again? The secret had been out…everyone failed to inform Hakkai.
Besides, Goku knew before Gojyo and Hakkai knew. There was one thing the monkey recognized before anyone else -- other than the aroma of edibles-- and that was love.
Goku sat up rubbed the sleep and the visual of them kissing from his eyes, “I’m hungry.” He sleepily peeled himself from Hakkai’s shoulder.
Hakkai’s eyes darted around as much of the room as he could see, “Where’s Sanzo?”
Goku shrugged, “Dunno, probably still with Tano.”
Gojyo looked into still sleepy golden eyes, “Are you ok with that?” He’d convinced himself that the two were sleeping together.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
Gojyo blinked. Maybe, they aren’t sleeping together.

Hakkai’s eyebrows knitted. Tano? He could tell he missed out on an important part of some conversation. He sat up allowing the sheet to slip down his body.
Questioning gold touched pondering crimson.
Goku had been born from a mountain. In his memories --until recently, he literally lived under a rock. After leaving his earthen cage, he “grew-up” in a temple under Sanzo’s tutelage. Then, this mission started. His only reference for a relationship was what he learned from Sanzo and Gojyo -- neither of those have been the best role models -- except in this case. Unintentionally, their behavior gave something to Goku -- something many people wished they had: unrestricted true freedom of thought.
Goku had no point of reference that told him sexuality was bad. Goku had no concept of sexual expression being some kind of melodramatic, romantic, ideological declaration of love. He’d never heard that lie. Love and sex were two separate things. He saw nothing wrong with expressing oneself with one person and then expressing oneself with another person.
In Goku’s eyes, mind and heart , a person expressed love for another person by being, simply being. Doing things for one another. Being there and being dependable --when it really mattered. Being strong. Not needing protection. Watching someone’s back in a fight. Not judging someone for who they were, but who they are and who they are going to be. You could love someone dearly and never be naked in the same room with them. Playful banter … threatening to kick someone’s ass…the fan…getting shot at… these were all expressions of love for Goku. It was the only way he knew.
And, everyone loved him for it.
However, Goku also understood privacy. What he and Sanzo did or didn’t do when they were alone was no one else’s business.
He wasn’t about to get upset over Sanzo playing a game of cards with someone else --what a silly thing to get upset over. If he got upset over that, then he wouldn’t be able to play a game of cards with ---
Hakkai slid a hand from under the sheets and patted Gojyo’s arm, “Never mind, Gojyo. “
Hakkai’s words broke Goku from his memories of card games. Goku smiled at Hakkai.
Gojyo softly shook his head and stood up. “I’m going to get some food.”
Goku stood up quickly, “Nah…I’ll go get it. You never bring enough.” He turned sharply and looked at Hakkai. “And you….” he pointed at Hakkai, “…you… don’t you ever have me worry about you like that ever again, ya jerk.”
Hakkai smiled, “Oh, sorry to put you out.” I love you too, Goku.

Goku shut the door softly behind him.
Gojyo sat down on the bed and held both of Hakkai’s hands in both his hands. He looked at Hakkai’s hands and seemed to be counting all the fingers. He blinked a few times.
The silence grew heavy.
Hakkai could tell Gojyo was trying to say something, but just couldn’t seem to find the words. “I’m fine. I feel pretty good, actually.” Emerald tried an honest smile, but manage a nervous one.
Fretful crimson found cautious emerald. He wanted to know. Did he have the right to ask? Was it right to ask? Was this prying? If Hakkai wanted him to know he would have told him long before now, right? Did Hakkai not say anything because it was too painful? He took in a deep breath. “Wa……” His voice trailed off. He seemed to lose his will to speak…no….not his will…his ability.
Hakkai tilted his head to the side and his eyes narrowed questioningly, “It isn’t like you to mince words. Just say whatever it is you want to say.” Hakkai’s hands felt hot in Gojyo’s. He realized Gojyo’s hands were cold and slightly trembling.
Gojyo looked down at their hands. He knew Hakkai was generally an honest person -- even if he had been accused of being a swindler. Essentially, the only lies Hakkai told were those of omission. He’d simply fail to mention something. He’d simply not let a subject be brought up. He’d simply change the subject. He did so with subtle grace -- so subtle that no one realized what he’d done. He did so with good reason. This, Gojyo was sure, was one of those situations. Did he have the right to pry? He took in a breath of courage, licked his lips and found his own tongue, “You can tell me it is none of my business. You can even hit me if you want…”
Hakkai wrinkled his eyebrows, the words were getting heavy.
Gojyo continued, “I’m just curious, I won’t take offense if you don’t answer.” He rejuvenated his bravery with another breath, “Was Kanan pregnant when she died?” He just couldn’t get himself to use the word suicide. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see Hakkai’s reaction.
The question hung in the air. It slapped Hakkai across the face. It punched him in the gut. It tore at his heart. It seared through his mind. It ripped his soul. It was none of Gojyo’s business and damn him for bringing up such a subject. Damn him for brining it up in such a way that Hakkai couldn’t dodge it. Damn him for caring and love him for it -- all the same. Love him for all of it. Hakkai closed his hands around Gojyo’s fingertips, “You mean when she committed suicide? When she dove my dagger into her life-giving heart? Just feet away from me, but yet miles away at the same time?”
Gojyo opened his eyes and found mournful emerald. Damn…he didn’t mean for it to become all this. He didn’t mean to walk down this path. He didn’t mean to tear open Hakkai’s wound. He didn’t mean to …”Yes.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes. Yes, she was.”
“Was it yours?” Goddamn it! Didn’t he know when to shut the fuck up? His words left him before they registered in his brain. He begged the heavens for Hakkai to go temporarily deaf.
He would get no such wish.
Hakkai took in a deep breath, “She was raped while she was ….captured. She said it wasn’t. But, ya know how women can be pregnant for a while and not know it?”
Gojyo softly nodded.
“Well…I’ve always wondered. I’ve always wondered if I lost a child and a …wife.” She should have been his wife. He should have married her as soon as they were of age. He’d beat himself up numerous times … for not doing what should have been done.
It was a good thing the orphanage didn’t have accurate records on him …for then he would have known the full scope of what he lost that day. Only by a stroke of mercy did he not know the full nature of his relationship with Kanan. Or…maybe he did know and that too was an act of sorrowful omission --- a lie of absence --- a lie of self-soul-preservation.
Gojyo wrapped his arms around Hakkai’s shoulders, “Don’t do that to yourself. Just don’t. Women know, man, they know. Don’t …..just don’t. “ Gojyo knew Hakkai had a point, but he couldn’t leave it like that. He knew that not all women ’just knew’. “I’m sorry, I should have never asked.”
Hakkai resisted slightly, then returned Gojyo’s embrace. He rested his head in the curve of Gojyo’s neck. The memories of Kanan stuck to him…they lingered. Loitering around his soul, randomly poking him with jeers and fiery sticks. Out of nowhere they would cut him and trample him. However, this conversation wasn’t any harder than any of the other millions…billions of times he beat himself over the head.
Was he a bad person for not just breaking down at the question? Was he horrible for not being a ball of widower misery? Was he committing yet another act of omission? Or…was he healing? Was it Gojyo? Was it Gojyo in his life…this way …in his life that made the pain rest on just on this side of bearable? Did his crimson harbor protect him from the sharpest edge of the pain?
Hakkai curled his hands around Gojyo’s shoulders and pulled air between their bodies. Sorrowful questioning emerald found self-chastised crimson, “What brought this on?”
Gojyo leaned back and rested into his own hips, “Well….earlier when you were…”
“In my true form?” Hakkai wondered about the origin of this surge of strength. He noted the crimson sitting in front of him. He wondered no more.
“No…in your altered state.”
“Call it what it is, Gojyo, I am a demon -- it is my true form.” Hakkai couldn’t deny himself -- not anymore.
“No, Hakkai, this is your true form. You were born human. That--- was your demon form.”
Hakkai smiled softly, “We’ll compromise. My other form.”
Gojyo nodded, “Your other form. Anyways, you didn’t seem to be fighting. You seemed to be searching. You…mumbled about your other half and a baby. I was just wondering. I shouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t have pried.” Gojyo although not a religious individual, was a spiritual man. He believed in karma and wondered what this kind, caring, gentle person could have possibly done to deserve such a hard life. Sure, he killed a few people, but that act of violence was karma in action -- in a way. That was justified. Damn it! Damn it all! It’s not like the guy plotted against heaven or anything.

Kenren’s eyes shot up toward the metaphorical ceiling. He kept his mouth shut.
Gojyo failed to fully see his own plight…his own tragic …too hard to bear alone story.
Hakkai sighed, “And yet again… it seems I didn’t find what I was seeking. Yet again, I failed.” He lightly ran the back of five fingernails along Gojyo’s cheek…his scarred cheek. “Don’t ever trust me to save you.”
Gojyo held Hakkai’s wrist and turned his hand. He pushed Hakkai’s palm into his scars, “Too late. I already have and you already have. That night…when you were curious about how mud tasted, you saved me.” Gojyo smiled, “By the way, you’re much more attractive with your insides where they’re suppose to be.”
Hakkai chuckled softly and pressed his free hand into his forehead. He finally noticed his bandages. He fingered the gauze around his head. His fingers ran along his face and he looked down at his chest. He saw the pinkish wrappings around his chest and his arm. He blinked at Gojyo. “Am I a wuss or is this one of those you-should-have-seen-the-other-guy situations?”
Gojyo huffed, “You are self destructive.”
“Oh.”
Gojyo’s head tilted to one side. Oh? Oh, is all you have to say after you almost rip yourself to shreds? Just oh? Like the deli only had your second favorite kind of cheese? Just oh? “I’ll never understand you.”
Hakkai laughed. If only you knew. “I’ll never understand me, too.”
Gojyo knew…he just simply knew. Simultaneously, he knew that he’d never know.
A soft kick was heard at the door. Gojyo stood up and opened the door for an arms-couldn’t-be-more-full Goku.
Goku beamed, “I got food.”
“My oh my, you have.” Hakkai proffered a genuine smile.
What was it about Goku’s presence that seemed to make everything better? Why was it that this little bundle of energy could brighten everything with just a smile? How it is that he could erase with a glance what couldn’t be washed with a million streams. Where would they be without him?

Hakkai sighed as he looked at his hands and body. Gojyo’s attempt at a sponge bath was decent, but blood rested in the ridges of his skin. It hid in his cuticles. The scent of iron assaulted his nose and the sounds of the screams stung his eyes. He wanted to bathe. He wanted to rid himself of the last of his insanity -- at least the blatant reminders. “I suppose I should clean up before I eat.”
Gojyo knitted his brow. “You’re not getting out of bed.”
“I feel fine, really.”
Goku spoke with his mouthful, “Nope-fff. Not *smack* gettffing outta bed.”
Hakkai shook his head softly, “Don’t talk with your mouthful, and turn your head. I’m getting out of bed.”
Goku turned his head, but he wondered why Hakkai asked that of him. What was wrong with being naked? It’s not like he hadn’t seen Hakkai naked before-- in the baths, at the springs, when he was knocked unconscious, last night… etc… Why was it that people had so many body issues? “Jeez, Hakkai, I got all the stuff you do.”
Gojyo grabbed Hakkai’s shoulders, “You’re not getting out of bed. You …you shouldn’t even be awake.”
Hakkai’s eyes narrowed, “Gojyo, I’m not broken. I’m getting out of the bed. I’m getting a shower; and then, I’m going to have a cup of coffee and some breakfast. You can either help me or hinder me…but you will not stop me.”
Crimson narrowed, Damn, Hakkai’s serious.

“I know I don’t have a patient in there trying to get out of bed!” That was Tano’s voice bellowing through the door.
“Tano!” Goku stood up and opened the door.
Hakkai blinked at the door. Great. Just great. Not only had he woken up bandaged and naked in bed with Goku. But now, he was going to be naked and in the same room with a lady. And, to top it all off, she must have been the attending, so that means she saw him naked. He’d just ….
Sanzo walked into the room after Tano.

Die….he’d just simple die. Hakkai bit his lips and closed his eyes. He took in a breath and slowly let it out. He lifted his eyelids, “Excuse me. Would you mind leaving momentarily, while I get dressed?”
Everyone blinked at Hakkai.
Hakkai swallowed, “If you haven’t seen me naked, please raise your hand.” Resignation jumped through his voice. His heart pounded in his chest. His cheeks felt a flame with the rushing blood.
Everyone blinked at Hakkai -- again.
Hakkai pulled the sheet over his head.
Tano walked over to him and yanked it back down to his hips.
Hakkai jerked it up.
Tano jerked it down.
Up.
Down.
With a flip of her wrist the sheet was on the floor.
Hakkai yelped and curled his legs up, he wrapped his arms around his shins. “Excuse ME!”
Tano rolled her eyes, “I’m a doctor.”
Sanzo hmmph’d, “For monkeys.”
Tano whipped her eyes over her shoulder and glared at Sanzo, “Look prick! Apparently, I’m a damn good one.” She jerked her thumb toward Hakkai, “Look who’s up and feisty.”
Sanzo let out a heavy sigh. He couldn’t deny it. Before Tano, Hakkai was on the brink of death. After her, he was feeling well enough to come close to complaining.
Gojyo felt this had gone far enough. He stretched his arms out and tried to corral the visitors. “Can you at least give the guy a chance to get some boxers on?”
Hakkai felt the blood leave his face. Gojyo just announced to Sanzo that he knew what kind of underwear he wore. Oh dear God! Sanzo wasn’t stupid. Sanzo would know -- that ….that….they were an item.
Tano chuckled as she turned, “Be sure to stand by your boyfriend incase he takes a spill.” Leave it to Tano and her sarcastic tongue to blow the whole “cover up”.
Emerald eyes pleaded with crimson eyes for an explanation. He’d been clear. He’d been firm. There was no misunderstanding. The was no doubt. Sanzo was NOT to know. What the hell happened while he was out?
At that point, Gojyo realized that Hakkai didn’t know that Sanzo knew. At that point, it was utterly clear that everyone had neglected to tell Hakkai something rather important. At that point, Gojyo couldn’t contain his laughter.
Hakkai was floored. Gojyo was laughing? Laughing? Oh for crying out loud…oh for…oh for. Hakkai reached up and smacked Gojyo right across the shoulder.
Gojyo rubbed his shoulder and continued his laughing. He tried to offer Hakkai an arm. “Hakkai he’s known. He’s known for a while.”
Hakkai didn’t take Gojyo’s assistance. He was going to stand on his own -- damn it. “What?”
Hakkai walked over to his pack and pulled out a set of pajamas.
“He’s known.”
“Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me.” Tano huffed. “Do you really think someone would be getting laid around here and him not know.” Tano rolled her eyes.
Sanzo roughly elbowed her.
She elbowed him back.
Hakkai got dressed and looked at the back of most of his companions, “Why am I missing a set of clothes?”
Sanzo sneered, “You don’t want them back.”
Hakkai’s jaw set. “Someone had better start explaining. Explain quickly and thoroughly.” He sighed. “I’m dressed now.”
The group turned around. They shrugged. There was nothing to explain…that wasn’t obvious. They figured, Hakkai was smart enough to figure out what was plain. Words were pointless.
Gojyo finally stopped laughing, “He heard us Hakkai. He heard us the first night.”
Hakkai wondered if it was possible to die of embarrassment. He snatched up a towel and shouldered his way out of the room. “I’m taking a shower.” He didn’t know why he announced that. He just felt the need to leave the room with a huff. He felt… simply felt … the need to be in a bit of a snit. He was going to be in his snit and he was going to let everyone know that he was in a snit -- a little Hakkai-snit.
Goku looked at Tano, “Aren’t you going to stop him?”
She shrugged as she snagged some food, “If he can be that active, he’ll be fine in the shower.” She felt a bit smug. She was a better doctor than even she knew. She didn’t understand it, but she was going to take credit for it.
The others didn’t doubt the results of her work. She was indeed a good doctor.
Sanzo slipped from the room and stood in the hallway, “Hakkai.” He spoke softly and firmly.
Hakkai turned around sharply, “What? What is it now?”
Sanzo raised an eyebrow. Hakkai was getting close to pissy. “What bothers me , is that you felt you had to hide it from me.”
Hakkai sucked his teeth, “For the record, I never lied to you. For the record, you didn’t give me much choice. For the record, you gave me the impression that…”
Sanzo turned to walk back in the room. Hakkai was being pissy --- a pissy little bitch. “Tch. Can‘t you take a joke?”

Hakkai nearly fell over in the hallway, “Joke? Joke? You call that a joke?” Wait a minute, joke…Sanzo….joke….Sanzo?

The door to the room closed behind Sanzo.
Hakkai turned and walked toward the showers, he had no idea where they were, but he’d find them. Joke? Sanzo? No way! This is great! This is wonderful! This is….

Tenpou looked at Hakkai and smiled. “Oh, we’re getting him back for this.”
Hakkai chuckled, “Oh yes. I don’t know how. I don’t when, but we will.”
The two brilliant parts of a brilliant man put their heads together. They began to brainstorm.
Hakkai made his way to the shower room. He paused before a mirror and looked at his bandages. His hands slightly trembled as he began to unwrap the pale gauze from his torso. The outermost layers hinted at pink, then came pink with flecks of brown, followed by brown with flecks of red, which lead to red with bits of crimson. The final layer was solid crimson that seemed to stick to his skin. He winced as he wondered what kind of scars his body now carried. He pulled the last of the gauze from his chest and his skin was cleanly healed. No new scars, no redness, not even sensitive to the touch skin. He removed his other bandages with more confidence. He took a moment to look at himself, once he was showered there would be no reminders this time.
He wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted.
Hakkai eventually returned from the shower, clean and refreshed. He looked a bit smug.
They ate and packed up their belongings.
Goku hugged Tano.
Gojyo and Hakkai thanked Tano for her assistance. Hakkai offered to pay her for her services, she refused.
“The monkey wasn’t hurt.” She shrugged. She turned and smiled at Sanzo
Sanzo flipped Tano off.
Tano told him to kiss her ass.
Hakkai sighed as he stepped in the to morning rays. Hiding the relationship with Gojyo from Sanzo had been weighing him down. He felt like a load of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders. “I feel so good! Let us away, gentlemen. Shall we turn Occident and kick it to high gear?”
The three men stopped and tilted their heads.
Hakkai’s shoulders dropped, “West. Let’s go west.”
Gojyo saddled up to Sanzo and threw an arm around the monk’s shoulders. “Yep, after a comfortable rest like that, I think we can go forward for about what?” Gojyo looked at Sanzo and smiled, “Ten days, ya think?” He patted Sanzo squarely and firmly on the abdomen.

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***********REVIEWER FEEDBACK************
Maetel 2004-09-07

I really liked this chapter. Especially the way you characterized Hakkai's youkai side. There is so little shown of it throughout the series that I have seen. Also, Very creative name for that part of Hakkai.
Also, thank you for making Hakuryuu more than just the dragon who peeps every so often. I've loved reading his internal reactions to everything that has been going on.

Maetel - Thank you for your feedback. The youkai side… wow talk about being nervous over that. Do I have nails left? I went through a lot of consternation about how this was going to go over. There is very little information on it -- in the anime, manga and novels. That side has been woeful kept from the fans.
The names. I get the my names from a variety of sources. 1) My own head. I simply like the look, feel and/or sound of a particular combination of letters. 2) My mother’s classroom roster. Some of the more unusual names are actually the names of some her students. 3) Credits on various shows. Jorja came from the credits after something on CNN. 4) Latin (and general etymology). I use Latin when I want the name to mean something. To -in away - sum up the character or to bring out some aspect of angst. I never took Latin -- I was told that people like me shouldn’t take Latin. I’m not exactly sure, what I kind of “people” I am, but I regretfully listened. I use three Latin dictionaries. I cross-reference and make sure they agree or at least two out of three agree before I go with it.
I also use four arcane language dictionaries and I have friends who are members of SCA (Society for the Creative use of Acronyms) and a dear friend of mine is a member of a local wench’s guild. I do a lot of checking before I set my funky verbiage.
Thank you for noticing and appreciating.
Hakuryuu --- yes sweet, dear, misunderstood Hakuryuu. I don’t think he gets nearly enough attention -- not even from me. Of course, it is difficult to fit him into some of the scenes. Some conversations flow better with out mentioning the reaction of on-lookers. With the way he flutters in and out of the show, it is difficult to really incorporate him. And, I just simply don’t need a dragon in my lemonade -- Gojun ,however, is a different story.
I do what I can. I try to remember there are five travelers in this story. There’s a lot more to Hakuryuu than I acknowledge. It warms me to know you like Hakuryuu’s persona in this fic -- even it is a little AU.

Cupnjava c[~]~~~ *sip*
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Flamingolo 2004-09-07
Hurray! An update; and oh my this was a violent one *pats you on the head*. Goodness. I loved it, and I appreciated the lengths you went to for the accuracy. And, I'm not even going to pout that their was no lemon ^_^ I think my stomach would've failed me for sure in that case *grins*. Excellent job, again looking forward to more!

Flamingolo -- Enjoyed the battle, did ya? Good! I love writing battle scenes. I did good! Woo-hoo! This is Saiyuki and ya can only go so far before you have to have the obligatory fight -- and I love it.
Yeah, I know…no lemon. I just couldn’t get it worked in there. The tone of the chapter just wasn’t appropriate for a lemon. I hope I’ve not lost too many readers with these two non-yaoi chapters. There are important plot elements in these two chapters. I had to establish a few things for the next chapter …or chapters.
Talking to some of the other AFF writers, it seems their readers are very different from Saiyuki fans/readers. Some of them actually get flames for yaoi. With Saiyuki fans you don’t get readers unless you have yaoi. Go figure. They get flames for gore and angst. I feel for them. It really limits what one can write.
Yeah, yeah I know one should write for themselves and all that peace, love and harmony crap. Oh, let me choke on the warm psychological fuzzies. If no one is reading, if no one likes it; then well, it seems pointless. If an artist were to birth a painting, but keeps it covered --- is it still art? No, I think all expressions of art -- doggerel (like mine) or Michelangelo’s work need to be shared before they can blossom. Art is communication. Communication ,by definition, needs more than one person.
Umm… well… let’s just say we’re a bit hardcore and we know it. Saiyuki fans are the best!
We like a little vinegar in our lemonade. We like hair, teeth and eyeballs and we like our men engaging in “extracurricular activities”. A-hem. And we give a shit if they actually make it west….just as long as they keep driving.
I hope my work continues to communicate. I hope it continues to entertain. I hope our dialog never ends.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*

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To all --and to someone specific (you know who you are)

It is never a bother nor an intrusion for you to e-mail me.
I really do enjoy hearing the feedback, suggestions and critiques. Your opinion counts even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing it on the board. If I have really fouled up, crossed a line, or broken some kind of rule --- call me on it. It is the only way I’ll improve.
“Tenderness and Compassion” will be posted before too much longer. It is a long chapter. I have 50 pages written now. However, I will be moving in less than a month so there might be a delay in getting anything posted after “Tenderness and Compassion”. I’m not sure if “Tenderness and Compassion” is really the final chapter. There have been some things in “You Wouldn’t Like me When I’m Angry”, “Predilection” and “Tenderness and Compassion” that have begun a transition into another fic I was brewing, but haven’t written.
On the other hand, the potential plot lines also fit with another 5X8 fic I’m writing called “If Only”. It might even fit better with “If Only”.
So, if it is ok with everyone. I’m just gonna follow the advice of an astute writer/reader on this board told me. And, just go where the fic takes me.
Note: The Tenpou X Kenren addendum is coming along nicely. :)

May your predilections take you to ecstasy and back,
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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