No Escaping Fate

Thanks to Tlynn for Betaing and Ashcat for giving me some great ideas to improve this.

Chapter Five

~English/Japanese~

Tohma could not remember the last time he had been stuck speechless, but that is exactly what he was. He stared across the table at Shuichi and took a long slow breath. “Fine?”

“That’s what I said. What, you expected me to keep fighting you? I may be stubborn but even I know when to give up.” Neo turned his head to the side, put his palm under his chin, and popped his neck with a resounding ‘crack.’

Tohma sighed at the younger man’s bitter tone, but decided not to push his luck. He got up and made his way to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“There is no time like the present.”

Neo looked at him with wide eyes. “Are you nuts? I haven’t slept all night and you expect me to go and face Eiri now?”

Tohma tilted his head to the side and said in an even tone, “Of course. I can’t let you change your mind now, can I?”

Neo groaned but pushed himself to his feet. “Don’t I at least get to take a shower?”

“Ten minutes,” that was all Tohma said before closing the door and locking it behind himself.

“Better than nothing, I suppose.” He’d be damned if he was going to go see Eiri while looking like crap. He had to stop at one point or risk cutting his throat with his strait-blade do to shaking hands, but in the end he managed to get clean and dressed with little incident. When he finally decided on the blue shirt over the black one and to put his hair up and rather than leave it down he went to the door and knocked. He waited just a moment and it was opened.

“Don’t try anything,” Grunted the guard in broken Japanese and a heavy American accent.

“I do speak English, you know.”

The man just grunted again and pushed him down the hall to where Tohma was waiting with the elevator. The three of them stepped inside and Tohma hit the button for the sublevel garage.

Once they were seated in the car, with the bodyguard driving and Tohma and Neo sharing the back seat, Neo was able to finally ask the question that had been bugging him. “So, what happed after I left?” He hadn’t really paid much attention to the reactions to his disappearance. He had only ever checked on how the album had done out of curiosity.

Tohma thought for a moment. “It was nothing less than utter havoc.”

Shuichi couldn’t help but snort at that, the man even sounded harassed by the memory. Shuichi almost broke into a smile at the thought of Tohma pulling his hair out in frustration.

“There was a huge investigation and the media had a field day. There were countless rumors that you had either been abducted or murdered.” Tohma paused for a moment and cast a sidelong look at Shuichi before speaking again in a quieter tone. “The incident with Ask was dragged into the light and they were taken in for questioning.” Shuichi paled a little, but didn’t say anything at that. Tohma half wondered whether it was at the memory of what happened or the fate that everyone now knew that it had happened.

“For your friends and family it was devastating. Hiro and Suguru both became suspects as well as Eiri and countless others. Your mother almost had a nervous breakdown wondering if you were even alive.” He saw Shuichi flinch, but didn’t stop. “I had my people working day and night to locate you. Once that was done I was able to quietly put the investigation to rest.”

Tohma sighed deeply and he gave Neo an almost understanding look. “I never revealed what I discovered about your location to anyone. I even went so far as to see that the police records were sealed on grounds of your personal privacy. It was released that your whereabouts were known and that you were safe, but that was it.

“The band, your family, Eiri, they all took it hard. But even as much as I wanted to, I never said a word. I think they all knew that I knew where you were. I carried bruises for weeks after your sister came and demanded I tell her what I knew.” He grabbed his jaw at the memory. He wanted to ask the younger man why he had not stayed in touch with his family or at least let them know he was okay, but he had decided long ago that Shuichi’s relationship with his family wasn’t his business.

After a moment of thought Shuichi spoke up. “Then how does Ryuichi know?” Neo asked accusingly.

Tohma couldn’t help but chuckle. “How does Ryuichi find out anything that he knows? I know that you are more than aware of his true nature. You are one of the few people who can see who and what he really is.”

Neo turned back to the window. “Yeah. He never fooled me with that act. There were times when he looked at me and it was so intense that it was frightening. It was like he was looking straight into my soul and could see my every thought. He did that to me once right before I left and I got the feeling that he knew exactly what I was planning.” Neo shivered as he remembered that intense look. It had been burned into his soul; those blue eyes dissecting him and feeling all of his secrets laid bare with just a look.

“He did.” Neo snapped his head back around at Tohma. “He came to me the day of the album release. It was just hours before we realized that you were missing.” Tohma pulled off his hat and bushed his fingers through his hair before looking Shuichi in the eye. “He asked me what I thought about signing a new band. I, of course, didn’t understand what he was talking about. He simply said that I should start thinking about buying into American music. He said it would help fill the slot left empty by Bad Luck.”

Tohma shrugged absentmindedly and looked away from the younger man again. “I thought he was just in one of his moods and passed it off, saying that I had no intention of releasing Bad Luck’s contract. He left after that, telling me to just think about it.”

Shuichi dropped his head back against the seat. “That guy really is something else.”

“To be certain.” Tohma said succinctly and put his hat back on seeing that they were almost to their destination.

The car slowed down and pulled into an all too familiar parking garage. It was only then that Neo realized that Tohma had managed to not tell him what he really wanted to know. What had happed to Eiri?

Neo felt a harsh emptiness drain him of his emotions as they made the short trip up to the same penthouse apartment that he had once shared with his former lover. He didn’t really pay any attention to his surroundings as he followed the taller man he was too numb and lost in thought. He stopped Tohma just before they reached the door by grabbing his arm. “Just what do you hope to gain from this today?”

Tohma sighed and looked anywhere but at the younger man. He really didn’t want Shuichi to see how much it bothered him to think about what Eiri had turned into. “He has been little better than a zombie since you left. He almost never leaves the apartment, he has been drinking more, and he smokes more. In the beginning we, Mika and I, had to force him to eat and rest.” Tohma wanted to pull away, but he resisted the urge. He had forced Shuichi here and he deserved to know what he was walking into.

“What I hope to gain is my brother back.” He gently shook off Neo’s arm and hit the buzzer for the door.

There was a short silence and Tohma hit it again. A cold voice erupted from inside, “I’m coming already, damn it.” Shuichi could hear further muttering, but was unable catch what was said.

The door swung back and Neo felt his heart leap into his throat, but Eiri didn’t look at him; he hardly even looked at Tohma before turning around and walking back inside.

The two musicians followed him inside sliding off their shoes at the door, though Neo’s pace was notably slower than Tohma’s.

“What do you want, Seguchi. I was working.”

“I’m sorry, Eiri, but I felt it was rather important or I wouldn’t have disturbed you.”

Eiri grunted and crossed to the couch and flopped down. It was only then that he noticed Neo. It was only a passing glance, but Neo felt that gaze heavily. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Neo Zolton. He is the singer in the band Seven Sins.”

Neo looked sideways at Tohma. He had not expected him to be evasive about his identity.

“And, just why is he here?” It was then that Eiri picked up his cigarettes and caught one between his lips pulling it free of the pack. He tossed the now empty pack back on the table and flicked open the lighter. He didn't make it as far as striking the lighter when he looked from the Zippo in his hand up to Neo and back again. “Oh, so you really did want your lighter back.”

“Not exactly.” He watched Eiri hold the flame to the end of the cigarette and take a deep draw.

“Good, because I am rather attached to it. Why did you bring him here, Seguchi?” he asked without looking away from the brunette.

Tohma was already walking back towards the door. “The two of you have a great deal in common. I think it would be a very good idea if you had a talk.” He exited looking back only long enough to give them both a reassuring smile.

Eiri groaned ever so slightly and let his head drop back on the couch. “So, what, you’re here to cheer me up, seduce me maybe? That guy never gives up.”

Neo didn’t quite know what to do with himself. He crossed the room slowly and sat down in an empty seat while looking around. The whole apartment looked so different; it had been totally redecorated. “I like what you’ve done with the place,” he said almost shyly.

Eiri snorted. “What, small talk? Do us both a favor and leave. You can tell Tohma whatever you want, but I am really not interested and I don’t care what he is paying you.”

“I'm not being paid.”

Eiri finally looked up at that. “Really? So he didn’t offer you a recording contract or some such nonsense?”

“No, as a matter of fact NG already holds my contract through LA Reform.”

“Ah, so he threatened to cancel you?”

“No, but I did come here at his request. Just not for the reason you think.”

Eiri crushed out his cig and looked at Neo. “Well then enlighten me. Why are you here?”

“To make a confession.”

“About?”

Neo fidgeted for a moment and then slipped his coat off his shoulders and put it
behind him on the chair. He then got up and began to pace slowly around the room.

“If you're trying to annoy me then you are going about it the right way,” Eiri grumbled lighting another smoke.

That caused Neo to pause. It was too familiar, too like how he remembered Yuki. “Sorry.” He crossed back to his chair and sat down again. He took several deep breaths trying to calm himself.

“Will you calm down? You’d think you were trying to confess undying love.”

Eiri chuckled, but Neo looked up and, for the first time since entering the apartment, met Eiri’s eyes with his own. What could he say to make Eiri understand? How did he reveal himself to this man who still held his heart in his hands? How could he even bring himself to confess his identity? He silently fought with himself before speaking. “You really haven’t changed at all. Have you, Yuki?”

“…”

The silence seemed to stretch on for ages as reality compiled itself in Eiri’s brain. Neo didn’t know how long they sat there with their eyes locked together. He really didn’t care. All that mattered in that moment was the heart wrenching emotions that played in those golden eyes; fear, disbelief, anger, and finally recognition.

Neo felt himself falling into those golden depts. He wanted wipe away all the confusion on Eiri’s face, but he couldn’t move.

“Shuichi?”

That one word was just enough to snap Neo out of his reverie and he looked to the floor. The words, ‘I can’t do this,’ flashed through his mind and he grabbed his coat up and dashed toward the door without a second thought.

He hadn’t made it ten paces before he was grabbed around the waist and tackled from behind causing him to hit the floor with a grunt. Eiri sat back on his knees just long enough to grab his shoulder and flip him over. He landed on his back hard and Eiri effectively pinned him to the floor by straddling his hips. He finally opened his eyes again, not knowing just when he had closed them, only to meet the angrily burning ones of his one time lover.

“It is you. You fucking came all this way, sat there right in front of me, and now your just going to run away again? Fuck that. What, did you want to rub it in my face? Or were you trying to rip my heart out a second time?” Eiri shook him hard and Neo felt his head make contact with the floor.

Lights burst behind Neo’s head at the impact and it took him several seconds to come back to his senses.

The extreme nature of Eiri’s anger caused him to pause. He felt pleas for forgiveness, desperate apologies, and confessions of love all trying to spill from his lips, but at the same time he could forget everything that had happened. The old familiar pain of loss welled up inside him and he gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t let everything he had worked towards over the last six years go to waste. He had a new life, independence, and a backbone now. He was no longer a sniveling brat that needed to rely on someone else for every little thing.

His eyes hardened and he glared up at the man on top of him. “Get off of me.”

Neo’s words were so devoid of emotion that Eiri was too shocked to do anything but comply.

Neo stood up and brushed himself off before looking back at the blond. “That is pretty fucked up shit, coming from you. I came here today because Tohma didn’t give me a choice. He literally kidnapped me to get me to come here. If I had my way then we both would have lived out our lives never having to see each other again. You made it more than clear that you wanted nothing to do with me before I left.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Shuichi? I had finally came to terms with the fact that I loved you and you walked out without so much as a by your leave.”

Neo could see the tears trying to well up in his former lover’s eyes, but he was strangely unmoved by them. Had he really become so cold? He shook his head. “You didn’t say more than two words to me from the time you got back from New York to the time I left. Yeah, that just screams ‘undying love’ to me.”

“Yes, I admit that I was a little fucked up right then, but I was coming to terms with some serious shit. After everything we had been through, I thought you understood that. You’re the one who said I was never going to get away from you. I thought you were giving me time.”

Neo sighed before crossing the room back to his chair. It gave him time to think and he really needed to sit down. He slumped back down and put his head in his hands. “For six months I waited. I shared your bed, I let you fuck me, and I waited. Every day I hoped you would say something to me. I watched you grow more and more distant. I watched as you worked yourself ruthlessly day and night. All the time, I was hoping that I would get a ‘good morning’ or a ‘welcome home.’ All I wanted was to be acknowledged as part of your life, but more than ever before I felt like an unwanted guest. Towards the end I would stay gone for days and you didn’t notice. I stopped trying to be there, I stopped reaching out and you didn’t notice.” He had hadn’t moved and he hadn’t looked up, but at he paused to think he could hear Eiri take a few tentative steps toward him.

“Everything was going to shit. I couldn’t write the lyrics that everyone wanted me to write anymore. Even Tohma told me that I had gone to shit and to get my act together. He said that I was unmarketable like that. One day I just snapped. I told them all to go to hell. When I came back here you weren’t home. I was standing in the kitchen with I knife to my wrist before I realized what I was doing. I didn’t want to die, but I couldn’t go on like I was. So I left. I thought that I was doing both of us a favor by disappearing.”

There was a long silence between them before Neo could bring himself to look up. Eiri’s face was stoic but a steady trail of tears were falling, unnoticed, from his eyes.

“I loved you with everything that I was and when there was nothing left to give I had to… If I hadn’t left that day… If I hadn’t come to my senses… you would still have come home to an empty apartment, but I wouldn’t be here today explaining why. I can’t live just for you anymore.”

Neo reached behind him and gabbed his coat before standing up and pulling it back on. He turned and looked at the man who had once meant everything to him and still held his heart. “I’ve done what I promised Tohma I would do. Now I am going back home. Maybe this time I’ll really be able to move on from you. Goodbye, Eiri.”

He made his way to the door slowly only pausing for a moment when he heard an incoherent cry and something shatter against the wall, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn back. He slipped on his shoes and left without another word.

*

Well then that was more than just a little depressing to write.

So? Too much? Not enough? There’s still more to come.