Motive and Mayhem

SPOILERS: All manga, all anime, L's true name, Another Note, Law and Right, Truth and Justice.

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Motive and Mayhem

Chapter 6: Prayer

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The sex wasn't the only great thing about what Mello and Matt shared. It was one of the best, but there was something else that trumped it, something that would seem small and insignificant to other couples.

The cuddling. The blatant show of physical affection that Mello would only consent to when the handcuffs were on. They were, for him, the same symbols that most submissives associated with a collar. When he wore them, he belonged to Matt and that was all that mattered.

He had been given five minutes to rest after the sex, then Matt had ordered him to the floor, gone to a chair and settled himself there. His hand had patted his leg and Mello came over, seated himself there and tucked his face into Matt's neck. The strong arms had come around him, encircled him in a gentle protection that had his cheeks going pink yet again.

The TV went on then, the cigarette found its way to Matt's lips and they settled in to simply sit together for a few long hours. Neither of them cared much when the semen spilled on both their thighs, when the news became infomercials.

Mello fell asleep there, curled up in the safety of his master's arms.

When he woke, the handcuffs had been removed and he felt a familiar pang of sadness. It was time to get back to work. He showered, dressed, and shoved Matt out of bed. "Wake the fuck up. We've got work."

And they did, a fresh case that required them to travel halfway across the United States, to somewhere in Iowa. When he read the details, he felt the color drain from him.

When Matt came up behind him twenty minutes later, he was smoking again. "I already read the briefing. I requested it, asked Watari to keep it on the quiet that we were taking it. The information is only accessible to him."

"Fucking Christ," Mello dragged a hand through his hair. "Does he know..?"

"Nah, I don't think so. L's clued in more than he has, but none of them know how far it's gone. How could they?" Matt shook his head. "Anyway, don't worry about it. This is a small case."

"It requires public displays," Mello snapped, glaring up at Matt.

"Then we'll do it. It isn't going to kill you. Your pride maybe, but not you. You might even like it," Matt was grinning then.

"I can't believe you're even willing to think about that! You accepted it without even asking me," Mello was on his feet, hands curled into fists.

"I'm your master, I don't have to ask. The majority of the mission will be done while you are acting as my pet, therefore, you have no say," Matt replied smoothly.

"You're mixing this shit in with our normal life without asking me," Mello snapped. "Without even suggesting we try it before you spring this shit on me. Return the assignment to Watari!"

"You can't tell me that waking up without the handcuffs on was unpleasant," Matt didn't even flinch in the face of Mello's rage. "I'm not suggesting that we permanently engage in this in a public venue. It's simply that we are best suited for this assignment due to experience in the area."

The rage was still there, bubbling up inside Mello, but logic ruled above all else. He stormed to the door, out, slammed it behind himself. His mind was roaring with the implications as he walked it off, struggled to calm himself by pounding feet to pavement.

Half an hour later, he found himself standing outside a church. He frowned at it, slowly walked up the steps and into the building. Up to the altar, he knelt, prayed, and released his anger, let himself hand it over to his chosen deity. He wasn't a good Christian, he knew that, but he did the best he could, and he hoped it would be enough.

He looked up, blankly, at the crucifix for a long while, until he heard the soft scrape of cheap shoes behind him. A priest, the sound was too heavy for a nun.

The man walked up behind him slowly, stopped a few feet away. "The hardships in life are given to us for a reason," he said softly. "We must face ourselves in the mirror before we face the Father in Heaven."

Mello glanced over his shoulder at the old man, sighed softly and remained where he was. His gaze returned to the crucifix. "If you think I'm here because of the scars, that's not it," Mello replied quietly. "I don't hate them or regret them. It was me, or my closest friend," he shrugged.

"And a wise choice made," the priest agreed, folding his hands in front of him. "What is it, child, that you came here for?"

"Piece of mind, I suppose," Mello blew out a breath. He'd catch a boatload of crap from Matt if he knew churches were Mello's preferred hiding places. "I'm a sinner, more than most, my pride's bigger than the Vatican, and I have to choose between my pride and shifting an assignment to someone who might not be prepared to do what has to be done."

"We are all sinners, my son, every mortal man has sin and pride. It is, however, best to shed our pride as often as we can. Without pride, we can see more clearly the difference between right and wrong," the priest smiled softly.

"I'm not going to confession, Father," Mello sighed, slowly rising, "but I'll do what has to be done, to protect the innocent."

"Even attempts to protect the innocent can go awry. Do not forget that, child, and be careful," The priest reached out, gently laid his hand on Mello's scarred shoulder, met his eyes. "May god watch over you."

"Yeah, I've seen Kira up close and personal. I know," Mello replied quietly, giving a soft sigh. "Thank you, Father. You'll be in my prayers."

"And you in mine," the priest replied with a soft smile, watching Mello stride from the church. "And you in mine."

Mello sighed heavily when he pushed open the hotel room door, closing it behind him and frowning at the floor. "I'll fuckin' do it," he grumbled, flopped down into the chair in front of the television. "But I don't wanna hear any fucking shit about it afterwards. It's temporary. We fucking agreed that we'd never do the lifestyle."

"So we did," Matt agreed, packing the last of his things into a bag. "The plane leaves in two hours. We need to get going."

There was a snarl, but Mello got up to comply. "What ID set?"

"There are some new ones in your wallet. I burnt the rest already," Matt slid his goggles down over his eyes, nudged them a little until they were safely in place.

Ten minutes later, they walked out of the hotel room together. Mello was still nothing short of pissed the fuck off, but he was holding his temper in check. The small, silver cross bouncing against his chest did quite a bit to help him keep it down, and he spent most of the flight thinking of that priest. A few hours after takeoff, he pulled out his phone, sent a note to Watari to send a chunk of his money to the church.

That, he thought, was his own little secret. When they landed, there was an apartment waiting for them. They spent the next two days furnishing it and making it generally look lived in. Matt spent a good chunk of time getting friendly with the targets of their investigation via the internet and before long, they were invited to their first 'party'.

Mello cringed when he saw the outfit he was expected to wear, but he put it on without complaining. He just reminded himself it was for the case, sighed in relief when he was given a coat to wear until they got to the damn 'party' thing. Nervousness was making his palms sweat and he was pacing restlessly as he waited for Matt to finish getting ready.

"Kneel," Matt said smoothly when he stepped from the bedroom.

Carefully, Mello got to his knees in the large, cumbersome boots he'd been put in. He looked up at Matt, frowning softly.

"So nervous," Matt sighed softly, leaning down to slide a gloved hand along Mello's cheek. "Well, it's to be expected. They know it's the first time you've been in public." Matt reached into his pocket then, pulled out a long, thin strip of leather.

"That's..." Mello's mind fizzled at the sight of it.

"A collar," Matt replied softly, lowering to a crouch so that he could kiss Mello softly as he slid the leather around his neck, secured it. "Complete with a D ring for your leash."

Slowly, Mello raised a hand to touch the collar. It was soft, made of suede and more for show than anything, but the gesture wasn't lost on Mello. A collar was a sign of commitment, of appreciation, adoration. Love, his mind spat the word at him. "Thank you, master," his voice cracked, broke.

"You're welcome. This should help distract you a little from your nervousness. I'll put the handcuffs on after we've arrived. No need to draw attention while outside, is there?" Matt was smiling as he straightened up. "Let's go."

Mello rose, buttoned the trench coat up and slid his hands into the pockets. He followed Matt to the car, and while the collar helped a bit, he was still intensely nervous. Even the seatbelt felt like a restraint as they drove off towards what Mello thought for sure would be the most humiliating experience of his life.

When the car pulled to a stop, they were parked in front of a nice, large house settled in the suburbs somewhere. It looked horrible, to Mello's eyes, and he couldn't believe they were actually doing it, actually going in as master and pet. His hand was shaking when Matt took hold of it, and he knew he was about to swallow the biggest chunk of pride he'd ever choked down.

Matt rang the doorbell and they waited for a moment before it opened, a tall rail of a woman standing aside to let them in.

Mello remembered, at the last second, to not make eye contact as he slowly stepped into the house. He was trembling again when Matt removed his coat, locked the handcuffs into place, slid a hand down his scarred arm.

"Relax," Matt whispered, right into his ear, and Mello was certain his insides did a summersault. "Remember what I told you and you'll do fine."

Mello blew out a breath, nodded weakly. He wouldn't say he was frightened, but he was sure anyone with eyes could tell. When Matt walked forward, guided by the woman who had let them in, Mello followed a step behind.

When they stepped into the main room, Mello's heart rate jumped and he kept his gaze firmly on Matt's feet, stayed silent as the greetings were given all around. He knelt when Matt sat, positioning himself beside his master's feet and trying his best not to look as terrified as he felt.

Then, they began discussing him.

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A/N: And another chapter, done! Side note, I know nothing about Catholicism, but that is the religion to which Mello haphazardly subscribes. I also know nothing about BDSM communities and the like so please, please don't assume that this is how they really are, or how their parties or meetings or whatnot might go. Any guidance in either area would be appreciated and again, if I screwed it up royally, please tell me so I can fix it!