Christmas 2002

Matt carefully hid his Gameboy Advance again, but selected the Gameboy Colour to take with him to church. He had already looked outside the window and it looked cold. His mind span through ways to tell Mello that he didn\'t want to go. It would be a long walk and it sounded boring. There was plenty he could be doing in his room instead. Then the blond boy had emerged from the bathroom, looking scrubbed raw and with his hair freshly trimmed, and Matt couldn\'t say a word.



Matt had watched, out of the corner of his eye, as Mello had dressed in clean clothes that he had even had ironed. He had put on the crucifix necklace that Matt had brought him several Christmasses ago, then taken his rosary from over the bedspread and, after a moment\'s indecision, placed that over his head too. It dangled now against his chest. Mello stared into the mirror, touching the beads, though his lips weren\'t moving in prayer. His big army boots came out next, polished to a shine. They constituted the only footwear that Mello owned, being more inclined to wander around barefoot, and he eyed them pensively before putting them on. He did up the laces, which was the first time Matt had seen him do that. Usually, if Mello had to wear boots, then the laces dangled down from halfway up his shins. The new white jacket, which appeared not at all warm enough for the season, completed the blond\'s careful dressing.



"Do I have to dress up?" Matt asked eventually.



Mello looked up at him from the mirror and flashed a small smile. "You don\'t own any clothes other than a variation on what you\'re currently wearing. Just brush your hair."



They had left to congregate in the reception. Mello seemed to be walking a foot off the ground, his hands twisted together in front of him. Matt could practically see the halo. It was disconcerting. Then they\'d descended the stairs and spotted those waiting to go and now Mello\'s eyes widened. Disapproval flickered across his state of grace. He hissed out. "She can\'t come! She\'s into devil worship!"



Matt followed his gaze. Hollow had also apparently spent a lot of time with her appearance. Her hair alone must have taken her from the time they arrived back from shopping until now to do. It rose nearly half a foot off her head, back-combed, laquered and sculptured into Gothic artistry. Long, black skirts swished at her ankles. She was wearing black boots, whose stiletto heels were at least four inches high. She was wearing much more make-up than earlier. Her face paled with powder and concealer, but her lips were blood red. Hollow stared back at them through eyes rimmed with thick black kohl. Only her eye-shadow displayed colour. It rainbowed up to eyebrows tease into sharp, thin lines. At fifteen years old, she looked like a grown woman. "Do I detect a problem in your Christian love for all fellow human beings, Mello?"



Mello\'s eyes opened wider. He appeared to be framing a retort when Ann arrived around the corner towing Fenian and Jonny. She surveyed the three of them. "Mello, have you got a jumper on under that coat. It\'s very cold out there."



"Yes." Mello winced. Matt knew that his friend only had a thin jumper underneath. It was hardly warm. Whilst Mello hadn\'t technically lied, he had been a little misleading in the sense that Ann had asked the question. As if reading Matt\'s mind, Mello flushed and crossed himself. He jumped down the final steps into the reception. "Shall we go? We might be late."



The walk wasn\'t quite as bad as Matt had imagined. It was still cold, but it was interesting to be out so late. Ann insisted on keeping himself and Fenian on either side of her, while Hollow held Jonny\'s hand. Mello was left to stride along on Matt\'s other side, trying to subtly hurry them on by almost imperceptively quickening his pace every minute or so. Matt felt it was very wrong that he was being treated like a child, when Mello wasn\'t, when there was only a month and half difference in their ages. It was fine that Fenian and Jonny were held onto, because they were several months to a year younger. Ann didn\'t attempt to hold Matt\'s hand, but she had grabbed his arm as they crossed a road. He\'d had to squirm until she let him go and then Mello had held the other arm instead. He\'d dug his fingertips in until it hurt Matt\'s arm, but he didn\'t mind that. In a weird way, it made Matt feel wanted, but only when Mello did it. Other than that, the journey there was alright. The streetlamps were pretty through the orange tint of his goggles. It was good.



Once at the church though, there was a great many people. It seemed like hundreds of them were trying to get through the great oak doors at the same time. They shuffled forward, each step taken together, and Matt found himself holding his breath. His face was turned so that it wasn\'t buried in the yards of fleece in the woman ahead of him, but another woman kept hitting him on the back of the head with her handbag. He risked a glance to see why and narrowly avoided being hit in the nose. It just so happened that the crook of her elbow was at the level of his head. Beside him, Mello had a tight grip on his arm, while behind them, Jonny was clutching the back of Matt\'s jacket. Somewhere near him, Hollow towered above them, still, presumably, holding Jonny\'s hand. There was no sign of Ann or Fenian.



It only lasted a few minutes but it seemed like an age to Matt before they were through. A grinning man with an impossibly bushy moustache handed them a programme of service and an unlit candle. The candle had a cardboard circle slotted around its base. As Hollow directed them, they filed along the back of the pews to the quickly filling side seats. They were halfway around before Hollow\'s hand rose to wave to someone whom they couldn\'t see and she hissed, "Down here." Turning into an aisle, the sea of people parted for them to see Ann, only a few feet ahead. Fenian was beside her on the pew, but there was only one other space with them. The housekeeper pointed quickly to another pew turned at a right-angle to her own. It would seat three smaller people, so Mello dragged Matt and Jonny towards it and bit his lip with glee and wonder as he sat down. Hollow joined Ann and Matt immediately forgot all about them.



The ancient church was almost entirely candlelit. A choir was singing, though Matt couldn\'t distinguish real words, just a series of pristinely rendered notes. A real chamber orchestra was accompanying then, though a small man in an orange suit waited patiently at an organ. There were more people there than Matt had seen in his entire life. They were still coming in. Filling pews until there was only standing room at the back. He looked upwards to the ceiling, which soared high ahead in wooden archways that were as aesthetically pleasing as they were architectural genius. Matt twisted to work out how it was done, guessing at hidden struts and weight-bearing pillars spaced according to precise mathematical calculations. Then he spotted the second tier of seats and gasped. "Can we go up there?"



"No." It was Jonny who replied, not Mello, which jolted Matt a little. "Ann\'s trying to get your attention."



Matt turned to look at the housekeeper, who mouthed for them to take their coats off. She didn\'t want them to feel the cold outside. Matt frowned and shook his head. For all the people in there, it was hardly warm in the church. He stared instead at Mello, who was leaning forward on the pew, his hands demurely laced in his lap. The blond teenager\'s face seemed to glow with some inner rapture, as he craned to view the Virgin Mary on her podium. Matt followed his gaze there, then looked from Mello to the Mother and back again, trying to divine the cause of the brightness in his friend\'s blue eyes. Then he realised what it was. They were unshed tears; and the idea that Mello could even nearly cry frightened Matt no end.