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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 68
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Learning to Land. Chapter Sixty Nine ~Mukahi~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Damn it all! Yuushi was being so serious and lovey still when all Gakuto wanted to do was get to the really hot part of the night. They were in this huge hotel room, correction rooms, with two huge beds sitting there going to waste because Yuushi was all into this romance crap. Damn it! Gakuto needed to move!

All this sitting and eating and lovey crap after such a stressful day made him feel fidgety and restless. He was trying to be nice because Yuushi had been so upset earlier, but how many hours was he gonna he have to put up with this? Yuushi was never gonna get to the point. And Gakuto found to his further annoyance, it was really hard to tap your foot impatiently in a bathtub.

Looking all moony and shy at him, the tensai said, "Gakuto? I have something I want to ask you, something rather important to me."

Gakuto could barely keep from sighing in annoyance. He moved up closer to sit on Yuushi's lap so that he could get this over with as soon as possible so they could finally have some damn fun. This lovey garbage felt too serious and it was a drag. He faced the tensai so they were eye to eye in the huge bathtub, and as soon as he did, Yuushi kissed him all swirly and soft. Again. Whatever this was, Yuushi was delaying asking. Again.

He wondered why the tensai kept stalling and didn't just spit out whatever the hell it was he wanted to ask so they could move on to the good stuff. This was really getting annoying. And worrisome. Because they fixed all that confusion up earlier, right? So what in the seven hells could Yuushi need to ask about now?

He had been willing to put up with the silly romantic dinner and even kissed Yuushi during it because he knew that things like that were kinda important to Yuushi, but now it was Gakuto's turn. And what Gakuto wanted them to do was to get going and have some fun. Gakuto was uncomfortable. All this romantic junk just was not him. He felt nervous and smothered by all this lovey stuff in general with most people. Whenever someone was all serious and dopey like this it made him feel kinda gross and like laughing. After their bad time with that bitch Naomi, what Gakuto really wanted to do was to kiss and mess around with Yuushi so they both felt better and all close again. Gakuto knew he wasn't being selfish about this either because it would be good for Yuushi to fool around him him too.

Well actually, if he was forced to confess, he would have to say that the whole dinner and him being a prince thing was kinda fun. In a Yuushi kinda way it had been nice. And the dessert was good too. It gave the little redhead a lot of good ideas.

Gakuto saw a movie where this really hot chick and her lover were eating food off each other. It had been really hot and sexy. So when he was eating dessert, it made him think about was how some of that good gooey sweet stuff would be kinda hot for him and Yuushi to spread over each other's naked bodies and lick off. Yuushi would be really good at that. He would lick it off Gakuto's body all swirly like he was kissing him now. Gakuto knew the tensai would be very good at doing stuff like that. Plus he figured that Yuushi had never done anything like that before either, and it would be fun for both of them to be kinda playful and dirty. Just the thought of doing things like that together with Yuushi thrilled him.

But after the dinner, and the hot dessert, first there had to be this bath. They had to get clean before they got dirty. Okay, Gakuto knew it was his idea at first. He really had wanted to take a bath with Yuushi when he saw this big tub, and the list of things you could order was cool, but somehow it had morphed into something all swirly and romantic and it didn't feel like something he wanted to do. At least, not by choice. It was something like his parents would do or like the kinda thing Yuushi would dream up after reading what some adults did in one of his stupid lovey books. So Yuushi of course was all into it, and it was fun in the beginning, but now enough was enough. It was so serious and lovey that Gakuto felt like he was a girl or something.

But when he watched Yuushi earlier while the tensai was washing him and trying so hard just to please him, it had been so sweet that Gakuto couldn't really tell Yuushi that he was uncomfortable. Instead, he had been trying to behave good and not whine. He really wanted Yuushi to this, but Gakuto was really impatient to get to his turn and the good part. The sexy part. All he could think about was the hot things they could do to each other in the big beds. Gakuto had a few ideas of a few really sexy things he wanted to try, but every time he made a move the tensai stalled. Finally he got that the tensai was trying to keep things moving as slowly as Yuushi spoke--at a snail's pace.

Clearly Yuushi was caught up in some romantic dream and this was why he was all moony. Gakuto sighed and decided to hurry this up. He pulled back from their kiss and ordered, "Yuushi, shoot."

Stupid Yuushi looked at him all confused and like he couldn't get his brain to think after the soft, sweet kisses. And yeah, Gakuto had to admit that even though it was all moony and lovey crap, a part of him did like it. He wondered if it was because he could see how much Yuushi really was getting off on this, or if maybe he was kinda into it because it was him being like this with Yuushi. Either way it didn't matter, because he didn't wanna think about his feelings and stupid crap like that.

Honestly, a part of him did like the bath and the kissing and even the lovey bits. Especially after earlier when Gakuto thought things might be over, and after he couldn't find Yuushi and had been so worried, this was kinda nice. If he had to be completely honest, it felt nice to be held and touched and kissed and...well...loved by Yuushi.

So there. Gakuto admitted it. He liked this lovey crap--just not how it made him think and feel or think about his feelings. But no way in hell he was gonna admit he liked any of this to Yuushi or the tensai would be inspired and never ever stop doing moony like this. Hell at this rate it would be all lovey mushy garbage and they might never get to the good part.

Because what he had never enjoyed with this lovey crap was there seemed to be a lot of downtime. During the lulls in the action, it made him ask himself stupid questions. Ridiculous questions. Stupid lovey crap like how much of this he liked because it was him and Yuushi together and that lead to him wondering just how much he liked Yuushi and that lead to him wondering what exactly you call it when you feel this way about someone. See? Stupid crap!

He also didn't really like remembering all the things he said to Yuushi earlier about his feelings, and Gakuto cringed and hoped the tensai didn't make jokes about that later. It wasn't that Gakuto didn't mean what he said, but he really didn't think it through. He was more interested in making Yuushi feel good then, and hadn't thought of the consequences. Thank the gods he didn't say it in front of anyone but Yuushi or he would have died of embarrassment.

But the main thing Gakuto didn't like was that there was still this space between them after what happened. It had kept growing bigger and wider with all the stuff that happened earlier and it hadn't been erased or soothed away yet. The space really was the worst thing, because it made Gakuto remember how hurt he was when he thought Yuushi didn't care and didn't wanna be with him anymore.

It had really hurt.

A lot.

Remembering how much it hurt made Gakuto feel overwhelmed by how much he felt for Yuushi. Feeling overwhelmed made him feel kinda afraid, and when he was afraid, what was comfortable for Gakuto to do was to move. He wanted to actively erase the distance between them and his every urge was to force it shut as soon as possible. The only problem was, it wasn't comfortable for Yuushi to do that.

The tensai moved slowly and carefully. It was like Yuushi was afraid to move to fast and so instead he went as slow as possible. Yuushi seemed to want to fill the space between them up with all this lovey garbage to make this moment somehow special and lasting, when all Gakuto wanted to do with his entire being was to fill it up with them being totally normal as soon as possible. Well, normal for them.

Gakuto didn't want there to be any changes. He wanted things to be like always, and all this lovey stuff felt like Yuushi was trying to move things forward, just at the speed of a slug.

Gakuto wasn't ready for things to move forward from where they were, and didn't want things to change. He liked how things were going along in kinda a natural way. It was comfortable for him. Gakuto didn't wanna think about how he felt or where this was gonna go. Whenever he did, it seemed scary and overwhelming, but at the same time, he didn't want Yuushi to give up trying to move them forward.

So fine, he didn't know what the hell he wanted specifically, but Gakuto knew in general he liked how things had been before this afternoon with that bitch. Couldn't they just smooth out the rough patches from today and then stay there for a little while? Why the hell was everyone always trying to move things forward? It really seemed that no one ever wanted to take the time to get to know you. There were things about him that Yuushi didn't know and the tensai trying to move to the next level wasn't taking enough time to dig them up.

Gakuto wasn't stupid. He knew if he came out and told the tensai this stuff, that probably he would hate him. Yuushi would see him for who and what he was--a big stupid coward and he would hate him. People hated cowards. And liars. And Gakuto was both. One moment he would decide to never tell Yuushi because he had already sworn that he would never tell anyone, and the next moment, when he allowed himself to think about it, all he could think was how nice it would be if someone knew. Just one person. One person he could really say it all to and who maybe liked him enough to try to understand and even though they knew everything, maybe still cared about him anyway. Maybe still liked him.

But then he would look at stupid Yuushi's stupid moony lovey face and re-decide to never anyone--especially him, because the thought of that face going from this soft dopey look to one of disgust or even pity was too much to bear. He had seen the tensai after he broke up with someone be that way when they pathetically threw themselves at him. Yuushi would look at them all cold and order them to get up. They way he was then had always thrilled Gakuto and made him laugh later, but it made Gakuto's stomach turn in a quick succession of flips to think of Yuushi being like that to him. And while he tried to hold his dinner and that sweet dessert down, it was even harder because it felt like someone was squeezing his chest and making his heart beat hard. The only good thing about the hot bath was Yuushi didn't notice that his hands were probably sweaty or that his heart was racing with nerves.

There had never been anyone he had ever been this close to. Certainly there had never been anyone that he liked and trusted so much that he was tempted to confess everything. In fact, his Mom told him to never tell anyone anything about what happened to him. Gakuto knew she would be shocked and horrified to discover that Yuushi already knew about the attack. But the tensai didn't know everything. No one did. Not even Gakuto's Mom. He had no idea how Yuushi would react if he knew, but he guessed it would be pretty bad. Even thinking about what might happen hurt, and he longed to stop his brain. This was really Yuushi's stupid fault for making Gakuto stupidly think that he could tell him stuff. He tried to tell himself that even if he told everything to the tensai and stupid Yuushi left him, that it would be stupid Yuushi's fault and the tensai's loss, but it still hurt too much to even try. It was frustrating because once he started thinking about this, he couldn't stop, and it was scary because Gakuto had never felt like this before about anyone.

Oh, sure Gakuto thought he had liked people in the past. He had of course been close to people, both girls and guys before, but it had never been or felt like this. Before with other people, it had always been fast, fun, exciting, and then very soon over because he moved on to the next person right after. There is a certain high you get when someone new likes you, and you kinda like them. Before had been always fun and never uncomfortable for long because whenever Gakuto had felt the slightest bit awkward or if he liked someone too much before, he acted.

What he did was he pushed and raced ahead to skip over the awkward parts by drowning him and the person in the good hot sexy stuff. And if he couldn't skip past it feeling uncomfortable or things didn't change, then Gakuto promptly dumped them and moved on to someone else. He had a very simple way of getting over heartache in the past--he just got with someone new as soon as possible.

He liked the initial high off someone new but after a few days it wore off. And really after that he had to admit he didn't like beginnings because they were awkward and filled with scary things like questions and confessions about both of your pasts. Someone who pushed too much or asked him too many questions soon found that they had been replaced by someone new.

Gakuto liked middles though because they were safe and familiar. He liked the friends he had been good friends with forever because no one ever asked him stupid things. He liked knowing everything about a movie before he saw it--especially the ending--so there were no surprises. If the movie seemed sad or sappy then he chose another one. When he did read, he read the ending of the book first to know how what happened, and if it seemed a downer, he never picked the book up again. Gakuto didn't even like learning a new gymnastics stunt or move because he didn't enjoy when it felt unfamiliar to him. In the same way, he liked knowing everything about a person before they even had a conversation because he would have already decided if he thought they were cool or not. Hell, when he started dating or fooling around with someone, girl or guy up to now, he knew about how long it would last before he would dump them.

There had been three exceptions. Three people that he hadn't known enough about before and hadn't known what would happen ahead of time. So far two out of the three had really hurt him. One he had been young and stupid about, and vowed it would never happen again. Two had completely fooled him and a lotta other people. And the third was Yuushi. Which was why Gakuto didn't wanna think about his damn feelings!

Gakuto had no idea how whatever this was would turn out with Yuushi, but Gakuto knew he was in too far to just walk away this time. Besides them being good friends and roommates, and besides the fooling around being really hot, the truth was he really did like the stupid tensai. In fact he kinda thought maybe he liked Yuushi a little too much. Damn it!

He didn't wanna think about all this because it made him really feel worried. The space between them was making him think about his feelings and all that crap and he was uncomfortable. The longer this dragged out, the more uncomfortable and awkward he felt. Gakuto was not a laid back, que sera sera, kinda guy. He didn't like to sit and wonder what would happen or how his fate would turn out, instead he liked to be in control, make things happen, change his fate, and move. The more he and Yuushi sat around in limbo, the more distance it seemed to him gaped between them, and the bigger that space seemed. Gakuto itched to close it as soon as possible just like he itched to move.

He was trying to be nice and put up with the bath because he knew Yuushi deserved to do something he wanted to do, but Gakuto was used to getting his way or walking away. He didn't know how to compromise. He didn't know how to make Yuushi happy and calm himself down. He couldn't say anything to the moony tensai, but the more he tried to go with the flow and tried to ignore his racing heart and stupid thoughts, the more it felt like the flow was gonna sneak back on him and sweep him away.

"Shoot?" Yuushi asked still looking all dopey, and then he looked worried like Gakuto was ordering him to come on command or something.

Gakuto rolled his eyes, and had to hold back a laugh. Hell yeah he wanted Yuushi to shoot, for real. This was a better thing for him to think about. Sex or fooling around or whatever you wanted to call it with them was damn fun. Gakuto wanted the tensai to come more than almost anything, but that hadn't been what he'd meant. Sometimes the genius could be such an idiot. Annoyed but trying to be nice because he didn't wanna make Yuushi angry or upset and somehow wreck things for the rest of the night Gakuto said, "Yeah Yuushi. Shoot. Ask me whatever the hell it is you wanna ask me."

"It...it's hard to just come out and ask." Gakuto rolled his eyes and that seemed to give Yuushi the hint, "Very well. I mentioned it once before to you, and you had a dream about it, but I don't know if you took it seriously or not."

Gakuto was at the end of his patience. He was about to tell Yuushi he had enough and couldn't take any more of this stalling. He took in a breath to finally say something so at least they could move ahead, but before he could get a word out, Yuushi asked, "You that I love you?"

Yuushi paused so Gakuto nodded yes. He was still holding in his breath and released it in a long heavy sigh, thinking, Come on already, stupid Yuushi!

He was starting to get cold where his shoulders were outta the bath water even though Yuushi had his arms around him, keeping him warm. Warm and strong. And safe. Yuushi's arms felt good. Yuushi felt damn good. Their naked skin all wet and up against each other felt good too. Their baths together after that first one were usually a lot sexier than this one. Gakuto decided to do something about that.

He kissed Yuushi and he made the kiss really deep and slow. He sucked on Yuushi's tongue and teased him by not letting Yuushi's tongue find his. When he finally gave in, Yuushi sighed and hummed that moaning way in pleasure. Gakuto smiled. Maybe Yuushi just didn't get that Gakuto was horny as hell. It usually happened when he was afraid or just after. Gakuto really wanted him right now, and it seemed to the little redhead that if they fooled around everything would feel better. Maybe Yuushi was worried or something still about how Gakuto felt about him.

Enough of this feelings crap!

Gakuto decided to make another move. As they kissed, Gakuto bit on the tensai's lower lip, and then licked it better to take the sting of his teeth away. Yuushi made that good humming moaning noise again and kissed down Gakuto's neck like it was already covered in sweet sticky things. Yuushi licked and sucked softly his way down Gakuto's throat. Yeah, now this was good. This was getting nice.

Even better when Yuushi teased with his tongue and lips up Gakuto's neck. Gakuto shivered when the tensai softly nibbled Gakuto's earlobe in that way that was really hot. Yuushi whispered softly in his ear, making a thrill of desire spark down the redhead's spine and sending tingles between his legs, "Gakuto...do you have any fantasies?"

Oh. That was the question? Damn that was interesting. Good question.

Gakuto smiled.

He felt relief that they were finally gonna move on pour soothingly through him. It made him feel good and confident, and he put his arms more around Yuushi's neck, "Yeah. I got some. Do you?" He pulled back to look at the tensai before kissing him again and doing his own version of swirly on Yuushi's mouth. Gakuto moved to straddle the tensai's lap and enjoyed the feel of Yuushi's erection behind him. He teased the tensai by lowering his hips so it sat rock hard between his cheeks. Well he thought it was gonna be a tease for Yuushi but it turned out to really tease Gakuto. He was really starting to want Yuushi, and he and the tensai having sex for the first time more than anything was becoming Gakuto's main fantasy.

Yuushi looked at first all hot and bothered like he was gonna say something really hot, but then his brow furrowed like it always did when his brain took over. Gakuto could see he had the boring Yuushi back even before the tensai asked, "Of course. What are your fantasies? I would really like to know."

Gakuto smiled more. He wasn't about to scare Yuushi off with his wanting sex with the tensai most of all, but there were other really hot things Gakuto thought about all the time. Like the dessert thing. But that might be good if he saved it for a rainy day. Literally. Gakuto had a fertile imagination when it came to sex and foreplay. To be completely honest, up until Yuushi no matter who he had been dating, the best sex Gakuto'd had was with himself while thinking of these kinda things.

Based on that, he figured he could make something hot up as he went along. Gakuto said in between teasing kisses, "I gotta lot...I think about stuff like this all the time...I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours..." He pressed himself and his erection up against the tensai's strong muscular belly and kissed him hotly to inspire the tensai to get that big brain of his working to think about this kinda stuff more. This kinda stuff was good. And hot. Yuushi was supposed to be a genius, right? Surely he could think about some really sexy and fun things.

Now very interested and aroused, that sexy slow smile crept across the tensai's face. His eyes were that good turned Yuushi that Gakuto really liked and wanted. Yuushi asked in his slow voice almost purring as he caressed Gakuto's chest with his hand, stopping to tease each of his hard nipples in turn, "Really? All the time? What did you think about today?"

Gakuto's eyes were closed in pleasure as Yuushi swirled his fingers around his nipple. Damn the tensai was so good at just that. He kissed Yuushi again and very inspired, thought about what would be really good to say. Something really hot to keep things moving along.

Earlier the redhead's brain had been on and he figured he'd just had too much time to think. Although Gakuto tried to turn his mind off now that his body was all turned on, he still had a stray thought. Gakuto considered what happened earlier and that now might be a good time to slip in a mention of that whole Jiroh three-way thing before Yuushi could find out later and get jealous or mad. He knew he had to say it all carefully and casually so Yuushi didn't feel upset or anything. With his most cunning smile designed to tease, he said, "We already did most of it, Yuushi. We did even more than I thought of...but there's still some things we haven't done...yet."

Gakuto rubbed Yuushi's erection between his cheeks as he moved up to kiss him again. Yuushi made a pleased low laugh he only made when something Gakuto did turned the tensai on and amused him. Yuushi leaned in to meet Gakuto's lips, but when their lips met, the tensai kissed back so softly that Gakuto had to press himself in closer to keep the contact. Still smiling, Yuushi moved his arms back around him, holding him closer. He suddenly kissed Gakuto deeply, making Gakuto moan. As they kissed, Yuushi caressed his warm hands along Gakuto's wet skin making him shiver now from heat instead of from any chill.

Gakuto smiled as he considered how many times he had come just that day. It was a new record for him and he had enjoyed each time. Well maybe except with Naomi but he didn't come so he decided it didn't count. And there were still good things that came outta that. Besides getting a preview of how damn hot Yuushi would be in bed, it also helped him figure out how he really felt about the tensai. Yeah, he wasn't ready to say it to Yuushi or anything yet, but Gakuto knew. And he felt it stronger when they were close like this and that space was beginning to fade away.

Gakuto felt kinda uncomfortable. Now it was because Yuushi hadn't yet said what he fantasized about. The redhead had a thought that quickly turned into a worry. What if Yuushi also fantasized about doing it with other people? What if the tensai had the same kinda thoughts about having sex with Jiroh or other people. The tensai had done stuff like that before. Maybe he liked it. Maybe he wanted to do a threesome too, but with Atobe. That would be a nightmare. Atobe was hot and all, but he would want everyone to be all over him and just him. Stupid Atobe would probably consider Gakuto lucky to be in the same room, hell Atobe would think Gakuto was damn lucky to be allowed to touch him, let alone be in the middle of the action.

If Yuushi said that he wanted to do a three-way with Atobe, Gakuto knew he was gonna be jealous. More than jealous. Gakuto would be livid. Hell Gakuto already was feeling mad and jealous just thinking that Yuushi might wanna be with Atobe. Which was strange and kinda annoying because Gakuto wasn't really a jealous guy. Or at least he never thought about himself as being a jealous guy before. He felt that if someone he was with wanted to be with someone else, guy or girl, then they should go be with that person and leave him the hell alone. Gakuto even used jealousy to his advantage. A lot of the time when Gakuto would dump someone he was tired of, he would say as an excuse that they mentioned an interest in someone else. Gakuto knew in his heart if he had cared for them at all he wouldn't of dumped them, but it was a great excuse to tell someone when they asked you why you wanted to end things.

But Yuushi was different. Very different. First of all, Gakuto didn't want to dump the tensai, even though for real this time Gakuto felt very jealous thinking of Yuushi wanting to be with anyone else. What was worst, was Gakuto couldn't even think of Yuushi liking someone else. He couldn't deal with Yuushi wanting to have sex with someone else, but liking them was too painful to consider. Hell just thinking about the things Atobe and Yuushi might or might not have done way back when they had kinda dated now bothered the little redhead. Gakuto wanted Yuushi to want to be with him and only him.

But it was even worse than that, because Gakuto knew though he was trying hard not to think about it, that he wanted even more from Yuushi. More than just sex or friends or even best friends--the truth was Gakuto wanted it all, including that he could tell him everything and Yuushi would still like him and wanna be with him. It was overwhelmingly scary to think that way. Dangerous even to think that he wanted Yuushi to like him and only him. He wanted Yuushi to mean all the lovey things he had been saying--including that he loved him. Which was stupid. It was too easy to get hurt, and Yuushi could seriously hurt him if he really wanted to.

It was scary to think that the tensai was the only person Gakuto ever told any of this stuff to, and if he told him the rest and lost him as even just a friend it would be worse than stupid Taki ever being such a bastard. Taki saying that crap about Gakuto's past at lunch had shocked and hurt him, but if Yuushi ever said things like that, it would have devastated Gakuto. Hell, he didn't know what he woulda done without Yuushi being there to make him laugh and staying by his side.

Gakuto was worried. His brain was thinking again and it was having roundy roundy thoughts about his feelings. It was like when you did a series of flips you had to have a focal point or you'd make yourself dizzy and Gakuto didn't know where his focal point was. He started to think about things because Yuushi still hadn't said anything, that Gakuto really never felt the way he did about Yuushi about anyone else before. It never mattered this much to him before if someone wanted to be with him and only him or really meant it when they said they loved him. But now that it mattered, Gakuto felt jealous. And insecure. Which did not feel good and was damn annoying!

Of course this was really all Yuushi's fault for making Gakuto have feelings for him in the first place with all this lovey dovey crap. It just got you into trouble. Gakuto considered how much trouble he was going to be in if Yuushi was gonna hurt him in the end, and so just to be on the safe side since Yuushi still hadn't said anything yet, Gakuto decided to play it safe. With a sexy smile he said, "The only fantasy I had today we didn't do was Jiroh earlier asked if we wanted to do a three-way or a four-way with him and maybe Atobe."

Yuushi looked at him now surprised, and Gakuto saw that what he said hurt Yuushi.

"Oh?" Yuushi replied, like it didn't matter or interest the tensai, but Gakuto could see he was bothered. Which felt kinda good in a way because if it bothered Yuushi, then in a way it meant he really cared, right? But Yuushi's eyes dropped down to look into the cloudy pink water as if the tensai could find answers there. The tensai's shoulders slumped exactly in the same way they did like whenever Gakuto had been really mean to Yuushi in the past. All this let the redhead know he had somehow made a mistake and gone too far. Gakuto felt defensive and tried to explain, "Well it was before all that crap with Naomi and all."

Yuushi said in this annoying kinda detached way he had when he was trying to pretend something that really hurt him wasn't affecting him at all, "I see. And this appealed to you?"

"Well kinda," Gakuto said honestly. Then he was aware to his annoyance that his being honest was probably hurting Yuushi more and digging Gakuto deeper into a hole. So to explain and try to diffuse this he said, "You've done a lotta stuff like that!" But it came out sharp an biting like an accusation and Gakuto hated how it sounded. Like he was really jealous and felt insecure even though he was.

Because it was stupid, he knew. He really shouldn't be jealous over stuff Yuushi did before him, even stuff the tensai did with stupid Atobe, but damn it, the more Gakuto thought about it, the more he realized he was jealous.

"Do you feel you are not as sexually experienced as I am?" Yuushi asked it as if he were studying him. The tensai wasn't wearing his glasses, but the way he was looking at Gakuto like he was far away, down the bottom of a microscope and being studied like an amoeba, made it feel like the tensai was moving farther and farther away. That space that had been fading was now a wide gaping maw again and felt like it was growing bigger and gonna swallow Gakuto.

Gakuto only wanted the closeness back and wondered how the hell he screwed this up so fast. He was getting aggravated, "Yuushi! You asked me a question and I answered. Yeah, I thought about it. No, I don't care that you've done more stuff with more people than me. It was a fantasy I had, Yuushi. Not what I really want. Not every fantasy should happen in real life." Yuushi was still looking in that distant way, like this didn't bother him which only meant it did even more than Gakuto realized at first.

Gakuto got really angry. "Look, the main part of the fantasy was me in the middle and that's why I liked it!"

Annoyed he went to stand up to walk away, but stupid strong Yuushi held him. The pink water splashed everywhere on the floor and out of the tub though. Not even noticing, Yuushi asked him as if completely confused, "You were in the middle...?"

"Yes!" Gakuto was really mad now and felt defensive as he explained, "Look I know because I'm smaller everyone wants to stick me on the end, but the fantasy part was that you were doing me and I was doing someone else. I was in the middle. It was just a stupid fantasy! I shouldn't have told you! Forget it!"

Yuushi looked at him in that way when he is about to make some point Gakuto hadn't thought about with something in school. Like when he was gonna prove how a paper Gakuto finished and asked him to check over for spelling really was all wrong. How the premise and everything else was all wrong and Gakuto would have to do it all over again or he would get a bad grade, but stupid Yuushi wouldn't tell him outright why it was wrong, instead he would just ask stupid questions to force Gakuto to figure it out himself. It was a very annoying habit that Gakuto detested. The idiot should just get to the damn point! The tensai asked, "Why don't you want to be on the end?"

Exasperated, Gakuto explained so angry he could barely keep from growling, "Because I don't want anyone between us! I don't want anyone in the middle of us and I don't want you in the middle because I don't want you doing anyone else or anyone else doing you!" Gakuto was on the verge of hitting him. He only didn't because he was trying to figure out what the hell was with the face the stupid idiot tensai was making. Gakuto didn't know if Yuushi was gonna laugh, cry, barf, or what the hell was wrong with him now.

"Gakuto..." Yuushi suddenly whispered and held him close, squishing Gakuto up against him. Gakuto was so mad he wanted to drown him, and if he could get away or move outta the tight grip holding him or the slippery bath he mighta tried. He was so confused as to what the hell was going on he figured it would be better if Yuushi tried to explain trigonometry to him because that at least he had some hope of maybe understanding. Stupid tensai!

Yuushi was still holding him too tightly and Gakuto couldn't tell if Yuushi was crying or sweating on him.

Gakuto let himself be held, because he didn't really have a choice. Plus, it felt like the space wasn't so big when the idiot held him like this, even though Gakuto was so mad he considered leaving and going to the other room to sleep alone as soon as Yuushi let him go.

But he really didn't want to, so he stayed.

After an eternity of being smushed, he took three big breaths before asking what the hell was going on. He tried to sound calm but still knew he sounded furious and muffled when he finally asked Yuushi back, "What...?"

"Gakuto, I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. My only fantasy, all my fantasies, are of being with you. Only you." Yuushi said it softly and sincerely and it made Gakuto's anger cool slowly like the once hot bathwater was.

Still mashed up against him, Gakuto tried to force himself to relax so Yuushi would not hold him so tight. It felt good to be held but not squashed. Gakuto said after it occurred to him that stupid Yuushi just said he wanted the same thing Gakuto did, "Fine."

Why the hell they had to fight to agree to things Gakuto had no idea, but they did.

In a sudden epiphany, Gakuto understood that things between he and Yuushi were gonna be like this a lot. They were gonna fight, probably most of the time, but it didn't mean anything bad. It was just how Gakuto was kinda quick to get angry and how Yuushi was kinda stupid about stuff. It was just the way things were gonna be and it really wasn't bad. In between the fighting would be some really good stuff, so Gakuto shrugged to himself.

Yuushi must have taken his shrug to mean he agreed and asked him, "Would you like to know my biggest fantasy? What I want more than anything?"

Gakuto shrugged again and figured since Yuushi just said all that lovey stuff that what he was gonna say his biggest fantasy and what he wanted more than anything was Gakuto. He rolled his eyes even though the tensai couldn't see him squished as he still was. He was crushed up into the stupid tensai for so long it had started to feel comfortable. Hell if Yuushi didn't let him go soon, he might be mistaken for a large growth coming out of the tensai's neck and chest.

Yuushi didn't answer so Gakuto asked, trying to not sound annoyed, "What?"

"You can say no and I'll understand completely. In fact, I won't ever ask you again or bother you about it." Yuushi spoke softly, and sounded shy.

Gakuto tried to take a deep breath and not let it out in an annoyed sigh or feel disappointed. Yuushi's biggest fantasy apparently was not gonna be Gakuto. Of course not, because that woulda been too damn easy. Unfortunately the evening was not gonna progress from here until Yuushi said whatever it was he wanted to say. Or in this case ask. Gakuto realized it was a real thing the tensai in his fantasy wanted and that stupid Yuushi was dragging this out because it was a really big deal to him.

For better or worse it could be anything Yuushi was gonna say he wanted. Gakuto knew from experience that with Yuushi things took as long as the tensai felt they were supposed to take. It was exactly how Yuushi always talked in that slow drawling way making a conversation take three times longer than it actually needed to, but you just sorta accepted this after a while. It didn't matter how fast the tensai could think, he talked slow, especially when it was something important to him that he didn't want to make a mistake about. No trying to hurry the tensai up in the world was ever gonna work when he was all moony like this. Gakuto sighed through his nose so it didn't sound as exasperated.

"Gakuto?" Yuushi finally stopped crushing him. He pulled him back and looked at him intensely, although he still held him as if he was afraid that Gakuto would somehow get away.

For an instant, the little redhead thought the idiot was gonna propose because he looked that dopey and intense. Yuushi really, really wanted whatever the hell this was. Damn. Gakuto also realized to his annoyance, he liked the stupid idiot tensai enough that he would probably agree to it. He just hoped he liked it. He also really, really hoped it wasn't something too weird. Or Atobe.

Yuushi finally, painfully, slowly, all moony, drawled, "I love you. I want to be with you. Will you please be my first?"

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Learning to Land