Portrait Without Sin | By : animeyaoi Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 4374 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: FAKE, nor any of it’s characters belong to me…* sigh *… those rights all belong to Sanami Matoh.
Warning: Not your ‘nice’ everyday fanfic of your favorite couple. Very strong language / Humiliation (depending on how you look at it) / Angst / Lime, Lemon / Yaoi. Rating will tend to go up in later chapters.
Summary: How would it be if the one person you trusted with your heart was found to have betrayed it? Seeing him there, with… ‘him’ was nearly more than he could bare. He never thought that he would do something like this. He never thought that he would be betrayed by him.
Yes, the character’s might seem a little out of character, but then how would you react?
Take above Warning seriously.
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Quotation marks “.” = talking
Italicized words or apostrophes ‘ ’ = stressed emphasis
Italics, apostrophe marks ‘like this’ = thoughts to oneself.
********** = skips of moments, time, views, and such
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Portrait Without Sin
By: Ryoan
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Part 7: Dee’s View (Part 2)
The phone rang.
Dee opened his eyes. How long had he been laying there?
Rubbing the heel of his fist against his eyes, he wiped away whatever wet, salty dryness still remained upon his dark lashes and face as it rang a second time. He sat up, setting the photograph down on the bed. Placing his feet upon the floor, Dee stood up, moving away to gathered the two bags that had his stuff in it as the phone rang a third time. He needed to get himself going and out of there pretty soon, having already wasted enough time mourning the lost of something he wasn’t certain that he had even had in the first place.
The fourth rang sounded as he came out of the bedroom, and as he dumped the bags in front of the couch, the answering machine clicked on. He turned back toward the bedroom to get the remaining stuff under the bed, when, halfway there, he froze in his tracks from the voice that came on to record a message.
“Hey, Ryo. You said your partner wouldn’t be there so I took the chance in calling. I didn’t know if you would remember, -- you were kind of out of it when I left yesterday -- but if things are good with you, I’d like to hook up Saturday and finish what we were doing before all the ‘interruptions’ the other day. I still need you.” The was a very brief pause as if he was thinking what else to say.
With teeth tightly clenched, Dee fought the urge to yank the answering machine out of the wall and throw it across the room.
“You still want this, don’t you?“ Another short pause. “You know if you need someone to… talk… to… you know where I’m at. Anytime. I’d love to have you……”
The line went dead.
Dee stood there with his grip in a death hold upon the receiver. He could not take hearing anymore of that… garbage! Hearing another man speaking to his partner like that as if he had a right to do so! Before the caller could say anymore, the livid, green-eyed man snatched up the phone, and clicked it on and immediately clicked it off to hang up.
So, his half Japanese partner did have the man there the other day when he saw them walking down the sidewalk! He even told the man that he wouldn’t be there! And what the hell was that ‘to… talk… to’ crap? Anyone in the world could figure, with a pause like that, just what he was really meaning! And if that wasn’t enough……! The man was calling to remind Ryo of making a date on Saturday… so that they…… could finish where they had interrupted! Well, they could finish all they wanted to, because he was finished with them himself!
Setting the phone back down, none too gently, Dee then made purposeful strides back to the bedroom, returning a couple of minutes later with more than an armload of boxes and stuff, which he had grabbed from under the bed. Dumping it off onto the couch, he snatched up the last of the plastic bags and went into the bathroom. It didn’t take long, since the anger-twisted-hurt had him snatching up his things and stuffing them uncaringly into the bag. Flicking off the light as he walked out, Dee left behind a gift that Ryo had given him for Christmas.
Last but not least, he removed the VCR from it’s hookup to the other electronic units, then spent a couple of minutes to reorganize the connections so he didn’t get blamed for just ripping things apart. Not that he cared at the moment, but he didn’t want to put up with the verbal hassle.
As soon as that was all done, he stood back, eyes skimming over the room for anything else that he might see to take. There were a few things, but they only reminded him of his light haired lover… umm… ex-lover. He would just have to get use to the idea of him being that now.
Glancing at the clock, he discovered it was nearly noon. He had been there for three hours already.
Placing the VCR on top of one of the boxes, Dee intended to gather both the box and unit up in his arms, when he paused for a second, then straighten. Feeling around the side of him, he took out his cell phone, and pushed a button for a preset number.
The same time that he heard the ringing of a phone in his ear, the phone in the apartment rang again. The two rings were nearly in unison together before the answering machine finally picked up. After playing it’s beginning message, it was ready to record.
“Hey, it’s me.” Dee did not really hear himself speaking on the machine, his attention being only on that of the message he was leaving. “If you haven’t noticed already, I dropped by and gathered my things from here. If there is anything you notice that’s gone that you believe is yours, just drop a note on my desk and I’ll see it gets returned to you. I left anything that wasn’t important, or I thought was more yours than mine, so whatever you want to do with it is fine by me.”
Still burning from the other message, Dee rolled right into saying, “Umm… oh, yeah… that boyfriend of yours called and wants to hook up with you. You should give him a call and go out. I’m planning on doing that soon myself. Goodbye, Ryo, have a nice life.”
Clicking the phone off, Dee picked up the first load to be hauled down to the car; hearing the answering machine finally beep signaling the end of its recording. He left but returned a few minutes later, grabbing the three plastic trash bags and took them down to the vehicle. Finally, he made one more trip to get the remaining box and items.
Just as he was about ready to pull the door shut, he gave a pause in the doorway. Glancing back, Dee gave one last look into the apartment that he had shared with Ryo not even a year. Despite what he felt, he didn’t want to leave.
Slowly, he did close the door, and walked down the hallway to the elevator for the last time.
***********
Dee spent all morning debating on doing it. He had been so upset that day that it had not even dawned on him to just leave it. So now, as the final act, was just to give it back; then it would be done and over with. The only problem was…… he didn’t want to. Keeping a hold of it was like he was keeping a hold of Ryo.
Thinking like that, his fingers curled around the small metal object, which he had held all morning, even tighter, pressing it all the more into the palm of his hand until he thought it had cut through the skin.
Yeah, that was great symbolism. Holding on to something you don’t ever want to let go, and, in return, it cuts you and makes you bleed… just like Ryo had with his heart.
It was late morning when Dee approached him as he sat with his chin in his hand and a far off gaze in his eyes. He didn’t even notice the dark haired, green-eyed man standing beside him.
‘So, Ryo, too tired from Saturday?’ Dee mind snipped after having been ignore the several seconds that he had stood there. It was more an abrupt urge than a decisive decision when he set the key down on the desk with a deliberate snap.
Dee watched as dark brown eyes slid toward the direction of the sound. They didn’t bother to raise any further, only remained fixed upon the spot where Dee pressed his fingers.
‘Guilty conscious that you can’t even look me in the face, Ryo?’
With purposeful slowness, Dee slid his lean finger down the short length of the key, as if to point to the significance of what it meant, allowing it to gradually sink in so that there was no mistake about it before he moved his hand away. It still took a few seconds longer to register.
The sandy brown head shifted as his mouth opened a bit in startled awareness, then he straighten back as he turned and tilted his face upward to meet with the glittering gaze of narrowed emerald eyes.
“D-Dee…” He heard his name rush out over the other man’s lips, but he remained silent as he watched a mixture of emotions that washed over Ryo’s face. It was like he was half in a daze, in combination with both anxious and welcoming surprise, and a sinking realization of what was transpiring between them, which won out over all.
“W-What’s this…?” he asked, snatching the key up as he started to rise himself.
Dee took a step back from him, not wanting the closer contact once the man stood up. With a shrug, he said, “I won’t be needing it anymore. Thought you might want to give it to your ‘new friend’.”
Dee thought he saw a flicker of hurt within the darkness of Ryo’s eyes right before the man shot out, trying to keep his voice down.
“I don’t want to give it to Armon!”
Raising his hands as if in defensive surrender, Dee returned, “Hey, do whatever. Just thought to give it back.”
Taking a leaning step forward to close the distance between them somewhat, Ryo growled between clenched teeth, “I don’t want it back!”
“Like I said, ‘do whatever’.” Dee repeated, displaying his best ‘I could care less’ expressions.
Ryo just stood there, whether at a loss for words or trying to read something beyond the gaze of green eyes, or maybe both, but Dee couldn’t take it. He had to push him away… away from his life.
“I want the key back to my car.”
***********
Ryo flinched back, standing there as if he wasn’t quite sure he had heard him correctly.
“W-What?”
“The key,” Dee broke it down. “to my car. I want it back.”
Ryo just stood there looking as if he had just been told someone had died and it hadn’t sunk in to have him react yet. Dee should have taken more stock in that train of thought for he didn’t know just how true that concept was.
Seeing the keys upon the desk, Dee reached out to take them, thinking he would just remove it off the ring himself and be done with it, but Ryo, instead of breaking down to cry, as one would from being told distressing news, had the opposite reaction.
“Goddammit, Dee,” he snapped, slamming his fist down on the desk, halting the other man’s fingers from reaching the set of keys laying there, and arousing the interest of everyone else in the room. “would you just stop being such a freaking dumbass…!”
“I may be dumb, but at least I wasn’t spreading my ass……”
He didn’t even get to finish as, whatever he was about to say, was knocked out of his mouth by the solid, harsh slap of Ryo’s hand connecting with the side of his face. He dealt it with, amazingly, enough force to knock Dee on his own ass.
Almost before he even hit the hard floor, Berkley Rose’s voice commanded smoothly and clearly that brook no opposition.
“If you boys are finished playing… MacLean, Laytner… I’ll see you both in my office… immediately.”
Dee winched at the jarring thud first, then sat, having caught himself with outstretched arms behind him, looking up at the narrowed eyes of the blonde haired commissioner, who, mere seconds after dictating that order, turned and strode back to his office.
Reaching a hand up, Dee nursed the aching side of his face, working his jaw to insure it hadn’t been broken. He could taste the blood that seeped from the torn skin of his inner cheek caused by his own teeth. He was in dazed disbelief that Ryo had bitch-slapped* him, and knocked him down with it at that!
Glancing over to Ryo, he saw that the man’s gaze was only focused upon him. He was breathing slightly harder as he fought to reign back control of himself, then as if sanity came back with a snap, his demeanor dropped, and he looked like a little boy at a loss of what to do. His cheeks having been flushed with anger, now tinged with embarrassment, also.
Finally, Ryo bent down to pick up the key that had fallen from his hand, and then snatched up the set of keys off his desk. Keeping his head adverted from the questioning stares of the other men, he followed not far behind the commissioner to his office, stuffing the keys into his pocket.
***********
Out of the corner of his eye, Dee could see Ryo leaning back against one of the file cabinets. His head was slightly bent as he stared solemnly down at the floor.
Damn! He didn’t know the man could muster that much power with a fucking bitch-slap.* He knew of men doing that, and far worse, to their wives and girlfriend in domestic disputes, which could easily knock a female to the ground, but Ryo had used it and knocked even him to the floor!
If anyone didn’t know something was amiss between the two, they did now that was for sure!
There had been a hushed, shocked silence that fell upon the room as four pairs of eyes stared with widen disbelief. Made only worse as one of those pairs happened to be Berkley Rose, who had just happened to walk into the office pool as the incident occurred.
Still holding a hand against the side of his face, Dee stood uncomfortably in front of the large mahogany desk, half way between it and the door. He could just imagine the thoughts that was going through the blonde man’s head, which made him a bit defensive over his relationship with Ryo being on the rocks.
The amount of tension in the room could almost be cut with a knife, and it only thicken the longer the silence stretched out.
In a voice that almost sounded relaxed, if it wasn’t for the tight edge he had on each word he spoke, the commissioner gazed sharply at Dee and inquired, “Do you want to press charges?”
Dropping his hand away, Dee gaze glittered back.
“No, sir.”
The man behind the desk leaned back, in thoughtful contemplation as he pressed his forefingers against his lips. Although this called for some measure of disciplinary action, he was relieved that the dark haired officer wasn’t willing to push the issue despite whatever problem was going on between them.
His eyes shifted from him over to Ryo and then back again. It was obvious that there was something majorly wrong going on between the two, that this wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing that happened. With the relationship these two have had, whatever it was had to have accumulated for someone like Ryo to knock his partner down like that.
“Is there something that needs to be brought out and addressed here?” He asked with deliberate slowness. He did not really care if the two broke up, never to speak to each other on a personal level again, but they were two of his best officers, dammit, and he would see that they got their shit together at least while on duty! He wasn’t going to lose their proficiency as his department’s best because of some petty squabbling!
Within his peripheral vision, Dee saw Ryo dip his head a bit more.
“No, sir.” Dee spoke up again.
Rose did not really expect a different answer. Keeping his voice in the same control, he trained his eyes sharply on Ryo.
“Do I take it, then, that things are settled between the two of you?”
Yet it was Dee that answered the question. “Yes, sir.”
Berkley’s gaze moved back to the man standing in front of him as he moved to lean the side of his face against the upraised point of his forefinger and thumb.
“Good.” He replied. “As much as I love the fit of angst between the two of you, I suggest you keep that kind of personal problems outside the precinct. Both of you are officers of the law,… actually, my best ones at that… and I expect you to conduct yourself as such. Do you understand?”
Despite his attempt to keep his agitation at bay, a bit of it showed through when he answered, “Yes, sir.”
“Officer MacLean, your input is required also.”
“Yes, sir.” Ryo answered quietly.
“Is there anything else, sir?” His tension was growing, thinking that Rose was getting a secret thrill at his expense.
“No. That’s all for now.”
With an abrupt turn, Dee took two strides to the door and left immediately. He didn’t look over or back at either men.
*************
Dee lounged in his chair with his back slightly toward the direction he had just came from. When Ryo had not followed soon after he departed, he figured that Rose still had a few other words to speak to him about. He wondered if his… if ‘he’ would still be in some trouble after all.
“You lay in the bed you make, dude.” Dee half murmured to himself, meaning more than what had just happened a short while ago.
It wasn’t long though, before he heard footsteps approaching. They stopped not far away, and Dee guessed that it had been Ryo returning. He heard the rip of paper, and the clatter of a pen or something being tossed down, then there was the shuffle of clothing, and footsteps again as they approached his direction.
This time Dee did not make a move to get up or leave, even when he knew Ryo stood next to the corner. Keeping his eyes trained on the handle of his desk’s middle drawer, he still could see the piece of paper placed on the surface and pushed along with a finger until it was directly in front of him.
“You left a message saying that if anything was missing, to leave you a note and you’d return it.” Dee noticed the tired softness in his voice as he spoke.
He lifted his eyes to the folded yellow paper, but he only sat there willing himself not to make a move to reach out and take it right then. He felt Ryo’s need to say something more as he stood there, yet nothing was said, and after a few moments without any response, his half Japanese partner moved away from him.
“Ryo,” Dee called out, then waited for the man to either stop or continue on. He did the former, looking over his shoulder. “My key.”
There was a moment that he observed a measure of pain flicker within the despondent depths of Ryo‘s eyes, before dark lashes swept down to cover them. Shifting his coat, he reached into the front pocket of his pants and pulled out the requested object. With a half turn, he tossed it over to him, then continued on his way.
Dee caught the silvery key in mid-air, clutching it tightly as his jade colored eyes watched Ryo start to move away once more. Reaching toward his desk, long tanned fingers picked up the note that was left there. Leaning back in his chair, Dee unfolded the yellow slip as he watched his… partner… continue toward the doors with his jacket in hand. He looked to be leaving the station completely, and Dee wondered if Rose hadn’t decided to discipline him after all.
Glancing down, Dee stared several moments at the ‘list’ of what Ryo had written down to have returned. There was only one item listed.
YOU.
An ache started to swell in his chest, and he quickly crumbled the paper in his fist, making a small tight ball, and tossed it into the waste basket at the side of his desk.
‘That’s how you made me feel,’ Dee’s accused silently, referring to the relationship of the wadded up paper and the trashcan.
Shifting his hip up, he was about ready to shove the key into his own pocket, when he happened to uncurl his fingers to take a glance at it. His head jerked back up, just catching sight of Ryo disappearing beyond the doorway.
In his hand, he held a silver key. The same silver key that he himself had given back. It was the key to the apartment.
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*bitch-slapped - Ok, I just discovered this word. I heard someone use it and I didn’t know what it meant, so I asked. Everyone else out there might know this term, but maybe someone doesn’t. I thought it was hitting a female or a term for a female hitting, but It means an open hand slap, hitting with the palm of hand. I liked the rude crudeness of the sound so that’s why I used the word in the story.
Thank you so much for continuing to read this fanfic. You don’t know how much it really means to me that it’s been so well looked at in such a short time. I really do appreciate the reviews that I’m given on each chapter.
Hong Mee - Glad you like this so much. Hope you liked this chapter that showed a bit more of what he was going through/doing. Hope this fic doesn’t disappoint you. And yeah, JJ is pretty cute too. Nice picture in Vol. 1 of him! Oh, and Shhhh…too.
Jazzygirl - Here’s the rest of Dee’s part first. It won’t be too much longer though. Shhhh…..
Kit_Yang - It won’t be too much more. Heh heh!
Lychee - Hope you’re still alive after reading this one. Heh, I have to wait for the rest of my response later….
Nikki - Hope you liked your update. And thanks for the view of the comparison. I tried to explain about that myself, in that comment in 3, but whether whether it got received as I saw it I didn’t know.
Raining_like_tears - Hey, I know what you mean. Sometimes I’ve had that problem too. Notice I’ve note you on this one! Thanks for pointing out the ‘points’ of the story you liked… umm… I think that was pretty much the whole thing. Yep, you were right about the note. Hope this dug a bit deeper about Berkley. Hope you enjoyed this one as well.
Someone Out There - Thanks for the review. Hope your still out there to read the next one.
XZanayu - Certainly not in this chapter! (heh heh).
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