Loss and Redemption
Confessions and Consequences
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Disclaimer: See Prologue.
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Once again, I would like
to thank all reviewers for the feedback that was provided. Over thirty reviews
for the last chapter. Damn. Thank You All!
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>This fanfic is based on the manga and anime and
borrows facets from both of them.
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>“*” Spoken words
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>‘*’ Thoughts
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>Love Hina
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>Loss and Redemption
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style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>Chapter Six: Confessions and Consequences
style='mso-ansi-lang:EN-:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>By: hawker_748
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>**LIME CONTENT WARNING!**
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
style='mso-ansi-language:EN-US'>
For a person who has been getting
before 5:00 for nearly two months, a chance to sleep in is viewed the same way
that a man lost in the desert would view an oasis; salvation. This was
especially true for Keitaro the next morning, as he had been run into the
ground the day before. Motoko had also decided to hold a nighttime training
session on the roof to make up for this mornings missed class.
This class had been unusual; in
addition to the late hour, all of the other residents had attended. Kitsune,
Sarah, Su, Shinobu and even Naru had all come to the roof to watch the two of
them train. Where all of the spectators had been awed by Motoko’s poise and
grace with a sword, they had all been unimpressed by Keitaro.
Motoko was poetry in motion;
gracefully lethal, the beauty and skill of her movements were obvious to all
who observed. She didn’t move, she danced; with poise that a ballerina would be
hard pressed to match, she flowed through her katas with absolute confidence.
Keitaro was lethal to no one but
himself; with his clumsiness, there was a good chance he would eventually fall
on his sword. His attempts to emulate Motoko’s movements resulted in an obscene
py ofy of her skill. He would get to where he was trying to go, but he showed
no style and grace to do it. He was heavy handed, had poor footwork, and was
the polar opposite to Motoko in the area of grace.
Everyone had cheered him on and
encouraged him, but they were all left wondering if Keitaro had a hope in hell
of impressing Tsuruko. Keitaro was also having doubts, and he was wondering if
Tsuruko had knowingly given him an impossible mission. It had been nice to be
cheered by the other residents, especially Naru, but they hadn’t made a
difference. Cheers couldn’t make him dig any deeper, or work any harder; he was
already giving it his maximum effort, there was nothing more he could give.
The applause at the end had been
a nice touch, although it had been a little embarrassing. He hadn’t known
whether to blush or bow, and had eventually done neither, just thanked everyone
for being there. Everyone had shouted out encouragement to him as they left the
rooftop, and it made him feel better that the other residents were giving him
emotional support. Thinking about how hard he was working made him realize just
how tired he was. He walked back inside and had just enough strength left to
clean himself up and collapse into bed.
The next morning found Keitaro
and Motoko sound asleep, taking advantage of the opportunity to sleep late. Out
of reflex, each of them had individually woken earlier, but then they
re
remembered that they didn’t have to get up early. They had fallen back asleep,
each of them silently cursing the loss of those precious moments of slumber. As
the world slowly came to life around them, Keitaro and Motoko were oblivious to
it all as they slept on, not even getting up for breakfast.
The next morning, Keitaro was
enjoying the slow ascent to consciousness instead of the usual snapping awake from
an alarm. His exhausted mind and body were grateful for the break in the early
mng rng routine. While he had been going to bed earlier to compensate for the
early mornings, an early bedtime didn’t have the same psychological lift that a
late morning possessed. He could feel sunshine on his face; normally he didn’t
see the sun until after the morning training session was over. He was also
unusually comfortable, but since he was in no hurry to get up, he didn’t expend
any energy to figure out why.
Motoko was also enjoying a rare
morning off, and like Keitaro, she was in no rush to get up and get out of bed
either. While she would never admit it, Motoko absolutely hated mornings, and
would happily sleep until noon if she were able. The responsibility of training
Keitaro, as well as the image of a swordswoman forced her to be an early riser,
and thusly she relished any chance to sleep late she could get. Today was one
of those few mornings where she could sleep in and not harm her reputation. So
she ignored the usual ‘wake-up’ signals that the outside world sent her. She
simply snuggled down onto the futon and tried to steal a few more minutes of
sleep. She was also feeling good this morning but decided to just enjoy it a
while longer.
***
Up in her room, Naru was pacing
nervously and looking at the clock everyf mif minute or so. ‘It’s 9:30,’ she
thought, ‘what are they doing? They didn’t come down for breakfast, and no
one’s seen them since last night. Did they leave early?’ she wondered. ‘When am
I going to get a chance to talk to him?’
Naru had been planning to talk to Keitaro after
breakfast, but breakfast had come and gone and there had been no sign of him.
More than a little curious, she’d gone back to her room with the intention of
talking to him when he came out of his room. An hour went by, and then another.
Every single ‘tick’ of the clock seemed to be mocking her. By this time, Naru’s
patience and concern were in an inverse relationship, and her concern was
getting quite high.
Finally, her patience reaching
zero and exasperated beyond belief, she decided to use the trapdoor to talk to
him, privacy be damned. She walked over to the dresser and lifted it off of the
plywood that covered the hole. Pausing to take a breath and steel herself for
what she was about to do, Naru lifted off the plywood and stuck her head into
Keitaro’s room for the first time in months.
“Keitaro, can I tal-” The final
words died in her throat as what she was seeing registered with her brain.
Keitaro and Motoko were asleep in each oth arm arms. Keitaro was on his back
and Motoko’s head was resting on his chest. Naru could see that the two of them
weren’t naked, but the sight of another woman in Keitaro’s arms sent a new wave
of anguish running through her. As a strangled sob escaped from her throat, she
pulled her head back and recovered the hole.
Naru just sat down on her futon,
stunned at what she had just seen. She couldn’t reconcile what she had seen
with what she knew of Keitaro. Keitaro, who had always been painfully shy
around women, was sleeping comfortably with Motoko in his arms. Naru wanted to
get angry, to jump down into his room and kick his ass. But instead of anger,
the only way she could describe how she was feeling was ‘numb’. There was none
of her usual fire; in fact, the last time she had felt like this was when
Keitaro and Motoko were married.
Her spirits had been buoyed by
what Kitsune had told her of the training arrangement. She had hoped that
Keitaro and Motoko would merely be civil to each other as they trained
together. She had hoped that Keitaro had simply carried a torch for her, much
like he had for his ‘promise girl’. Mostly, she had hoped, no, not hoped, assumed,
that she could walk back into Keitaro’s life without any real change.
But what she had seen had shattered all of her hopes and
dreams. The idea of Motoko and Keitaro staying together was no longer so
outlandish, and Naru was once again regretting her decision to run away.
Finally some of her anger returned. Most of it was directed at herself for
practically giving Keitaro to Motoko. The rest was directed at Motoko for
daring to accept what wasn’t hers. Naru was acutely aware that she was angrier
at Motoko than she had ever been towards anyone in her life.
She was also aware that at this particular
moment, she would have given anything to trade places with her.
Then another voice entered her
internal discussion; she was barely able to recognize it as her own. ‘Tell
him how you feel, you idiot! Nothing is going to happen if you just sit here!’
Startled by the vehemence that
the other voice had, it took Naru a moment to collect her thoughts. ‘What if he
doesn’t feel the same way?’
‘So what?’ The other voice
shot back. ‘What do you have to lose? He’s only a step or two away from
sleeping, and I do mean THAT kind of sleeping, with Motoko. If that happens,
you’rebablbably dead in the water.’
She cringed as she considered
that. There was more truth to that statement than she wanted to admit. ‘Then
what can I do?’
‘Whatever it takes! Let him know,
make him think. He did care for you, right?’
‘I, I think so,’ she responded
hesitantly.
‘Then exploit that! All’s fair in love and war, and this
could probably qualify as both. Now go get him!’
‘I have to think about what to
say first, and, and I want to do it in private.’
‘NO! DO IT NOW! Don’t chicken
out now!’
Naru found herself wishing that
she possessed the confidence that her other voice had. ‘I have to do this
right…’
The other voice interrupted her
train of thought. ‘Just be yourself, that’s what’s right!’
Naru could almost hear the other
voice gnashing its teeth. ‘I’ll do it my way.’
‘Don’t blame ME if it fails!’
With that parting shot the voice went away.
Naru spent the next half hour or so trying to figure out
the best way to tell Keitaro how she felt about him.
***
Naru’s aborted question had
succeeded in completely awakening both Keitaro and Motoko. The two of them
roused themselves, and then realized where they were in relation to each other.
They had woken up in an embrace like this once before, but on this morning
Motoko didn’t violently lurch away.
The two of them stared at each
other for a few moments, blushed profusely, and both of their heart rates went
through the roof.
But neither made any attempt to
move.
“Good, good morning Motoko,”
Kei sta stated quietly, with a catch in his voice.
“Good morning Keitaro,” Motoko
replied in a voice that was only slightly louder.
And still they stayed in each
other’s arms.
“It’s 9:30. We better get up if
we want to leave by eleven,” Keitaro said with very little conviction.
“You’re right,” Motoko replied
just as firmly.
Finally, reluctantly, the two
slipped out of each other’s arms, Motoko getting up first, putting on a robe
and heading for the bath. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Keitaro
let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
‘Augh! I can’t believe what I’ve been thinking, I can’t
believe what I’ve been DREAMING!’ Keitaro had been having dreams that Haitani
and Shirai would have been willing to pay a king’s ransom to be able to see.
Calling them ‘hot’ was a gross understatement. Keitaro had dreamt about girls
before; his ‘promise girl’ of over fifteen years ago had played a starring role
in his dreams since he had been a child.
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But there was nothing childlike
about the dreams he was having about Motoko. These recent dreams had been vivid
in their detail, and had seemed almost real. He could
remember the taste of her sweat on his lips. Some mornings, Keitaro had needed
to discretely dispose of his underwear after he woke up.
“I’ve got to talk to her about
this or I’m going to go insane,” he murmured to himself. “The picnic will be
the perfect time.” With this, Keitaro began to concentrate on his kendo tiqueique
as a way of clearing his mind and calming himself down. He imagined himself
performing the katas that Motoko had tried to teach him, but his brain, which
was charged up on hormones and liking it, decided that the subject was boring
and altered it. The replacement image his brain selected made Keitaro wonder if
he could get his hands on some saltpetre.
At least nothing was wrong with
his imagination, a detached part of his mind noted. This had to be imagination,
because he would have remembered if Motoko had ever done those katas while
wearing that French Maid outfit that Kitsune had g her her. Hell, he would have
remembered that after a frontal lobotomy. As he sat there reviewing those
images in his mind, which left little, but still too much to the imagination,
he realized that a cold shower was in order.
RIGHT NOW.
Keitaro put on a robe, did his
best to conceal his… predicament, and slowly started skulking to his bathroom.
He was deathly afraid of encountering the other residents, especially Naru. If
he encountered her, and if she noticed his excited state, she’d knock him into
orbit.
Around Neptune.
***
In the women’s open-air bath,
Motoko’s thoughts were running along a similar tangent. She was glad that there
was no one in the bath to witness her blush. ‘If only Keitaro was that good in
reality, Tsuruko wouldn’t stand a chance!’ her blush deepened as she recalled
what happened after he’d proved his ability with a sword. He always swept her
off her feet and kissed her, but last night Keitaro had not stopped with just a
kiss.
Motoko had been having thoughts
about Keitaro that would have made even Kitsune blush. When she had thought
that she cared for him when he first arrived, she was ready to cheerfully run
him through with her sword. But now she wasn’t sure of how she should deal with
these thoughts.
‘Keitaro’s still exactly the same
person he was when he first arrived here. But how I think of him has changed,’
she mused. ‘He’s a good person, a kind man, and I think I’ve fallen for him.’
She stopped to think about the possibility of being with Keitaro versus being
re-instated into the Shinmei School. What was once a simple choice was no
longer so clear-cut. She was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea
of being Keitaro’s wife, but she wasn’t yet ready to turn her back on the sword
either.
Motoko sighed heavily and walked
out of the bath. At least she’d be able to talk to Keitaro during the picnic.
She walked back into their room and started to get dressed. She was putting on
heest est bindings in preparation for wearing her usual outfit, when an impulse
struck her.
Discarding the wraps, she went into her closet and pulled
out a red sundress with spaghetti straps that she had never worn before. It was
unlike anything that she normally wore, which meant it was perfect for today.
She slipped it on and stood in front of a mirror, seeing how well it fit.
“Whoa…”
Motoko stopped cold. ‘That wasn’t
me,’ she realized. turnturned around and saw Keitaro standing in the doorway,
wearing only a towel after his morning bath. His lower jaw was somewhere in the
vicinity of his ankles. The stunned look on his face told Motoko that he
probably liked the dress. “What do you think, Keitaro?”
Keitaro stood there awestruck for
a few moments before responding with, “Wow.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Motoko
replied with a smile.
“Yeah,” Keitaro rasped, his
throat suddenly dry. He swallowed a few times before continuing. “Any advice on
what I should wear?” he asked.
“Just wear what you want,” Motoko
replied.
Keitaro walked over to his closet
and pulled out socks, a pair of underwear, a golf shirt and casual slacks. “Can
you excuse me so I can get dressed?” he inquired.
Motoko rolled her eyes and
replied, “Don’t worry, I won’t peek, unless you want me to,” she said with a
hint of a smile.
“You don’t have to do that,” Keitaro replied, waiting for
Motoko to turn around before he started to get dressed. As he pulled up his
underwear up under the towel, he took a look at Motoko. That dress was perfect
for showing off her long, toned legs. The slender straps highlighted her
graceful neck and soft shoulders. He continued pulling on his socks without
conscious thought as he found himself admiring Motoko’s physique.
As he was pulling up his slacks,
he found himself thinking about running his hands along those shoulders, and
maybe even sliding those straps off of them. He shook his head to clear that
not entirely unwelcome thought, and tried to focus on just getting dressed.
‘Yeah, we definitely need to talk today,’ he reminded himself.
When Keitaro finished dressing,
Motoko, who had almost given into temptation and peeked, turned around and
nodded in approval at his outfit. “Very nice. Would you mind if we left now?”
she asked. “That way we can have a nice relaxing walk and still make it in
time.”
Keitaro nodded in approval and
they headed downstairs after Motoko retrieved a blanket from a linen closet.
Once downstairs she went into the kitchen and came out with,
“A picnic basket?” Keitaro asked
incredulously. “Where did you find that?”
Motoko shrugged. “It was in one
of the rooms.” With that the two of them walked outside, not noticing the
concerned looks that graced Kitsune and Shinobu’s faces.
As they were walking down the
steps, Keitaro carrying the basket, Motoko the blanket, he asked her, “Where
exactly are we going?”
“You’ll see Keitaro,” she replied
coyly.
As the two of them walked through
the city together, Keitaro couldn’t help noticing all the admiring glances that
Motoko was getting. As well, many of the men that the two of them encountered
were taking a long look at Motoko and either nodding in approval or giving
Keitaro looks that screamed, ‘lucky bastard!’
Motoko was attractive even when
wearing her modest kendo attire, but in that red dress she could literally stop
traffic. Many, many men were taking long looks at her, much to their own peril.
Keitaro saw one incident where a guy walking with his girlfriend had let his
eyes linger on Motoko for too long and get slapped by his pissed-off girlfriend
for his trouble.
They walked on, heading out of
the city, making small talk as they went. It kind of felt like a first date,
even though they were ‘married’, sort of, and the both of them still wore the
wedding rings. Motoko wouldn’t have removed hers regardless and Keitaro hadn’t
quite been able to bring himself to remove his, even after starting the
training.
The crowds got less and less
dense as the urban feel was replaced with a more natural setting. The area was
familiar to Keitaro, but he couldn’t figure out why. By now they both had quit
talking, as they were both starting to think about what they were going to say
to each other later on.
The sounds of civilization had
completely faded away, replaced by the sounds of nature; birds chirped, leaves
rustled, cicadas sang, and through it all a faint roar that was ringing bells
in Keitaro’s mind, and he wracked his brain to figure out why. He finally gave
up and asked Motoko, “Why do I recognize this place?”
“Don’t you remember the time I
mastered that technique of my sister’s?” replied Motoko.
With an almost audible ‘click’,
the memory came rushing back to Keitaro. When Motoko had had her blade stopped
by Tama-chan of all things, she had run away tis ais area to train. The ‘Motoko
Rescue and Return Brigade’ consisting of Su, Sarah, and Tama-chan, and himself
had followed her and brought her back to Hinata house, but not before she had
tried to kill him and eventually perfect Tsuruko’s technique.
“Yeah, now I do,” he responded.
“You came out here to do some training right? Scared me half to death with that
‘Cutting Evil’ technique.”
“That’s right,” she replied.
“Listen, I’m sorry I did that without your permission, and I…”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said
dismissively. “You figured it out, and no harm was done. But why all this way
for a picnic?”
‘It’s isolated, and I don’t want
anyone interrupting what I have to say.’ “I thought it was nice calm place, and
I’ve wanted to come back and just relax.”
Keitaro looked around for a
minute and then replied, “You’re right, it is nice and peaceful. Shall we?” he
asked as he hefted the picnic basket.
They decided to set the blanket
down in the shade of a large oak tree and then they sat down and Keitaro opened
the basket and took note of the contents inside.
“Sandwiches?” he asked Motoko.
“It seemed appropriate for a
picnic,” Motoko replied quietly, studying the hem of her dress.
Noticing that Motoko seemed to be
a little embarrassed, Keitaro tried to put her at ease. “They look good, they
look good!” he blurted out. “I, I’m just a little surprised that you made them,
that’s all.” He was relieved when she seemed to relax a little at this comment.
f !sf !supportEmptyParas]>
They each took a sandwich and a
bottle of water and they ate in silence, as they both enjoyed the surroundings.
Keitaro was outwardly calm, but
inside his heart and mind were racing. ‘What do I say?’ he wondered. ‘Motoko I
think I’m falling for you, but I still like Naru? I like being married to you
and I don’t want to end it? I can’t stop thinking about you? I don’t know what
I feel?’ He sighed softly. ‘This seemed easier before I actually had to do it.’
Motoko’s thoughts were following
a parallel course. ‘You’re special to me Keitaro. No, that isn’t right. You
don’t have to impress Tsuruko, I don’t mind being married to you. That isn’t
right either.’
As they were both thinking about
what to say, they both idly reached into the basket for another bottle of
water. Their hands briefly made contact, startling both of them out of their
ruminations. For a few moments neither of them moved. They didn’t make an
attempt to increase contact or to pull their hands back.
It was at this impasse that
Motoko decided it was time for her to say what she needed to say. She withdrew
her hand and stood up, taking a breath to calm her nerves before she started.
“Keitaro, I think we need to talk.”
Despite the fact that he had been
thinking the same thing, that phrase coming from Motoko still sent an
involuntary shudder down his spine. Keitaro wasn’t certain why; he figured maybe
it was an automatic response hard wired into the male brain. “What about?” he
asked, although he had a pretty good idea already.
“About us, our relationship.”
“I agree, that’s part of what I
wanted to do today.”
Motoko blinked in surprise.
“Really?” she asked.
“Yes,” Keitaro replied as he
stood up and started to pace in order to keep his nervous energy in check.
Somewhat reassured by this
admission, Motoko continued, “We weren’t married willingly, correct?”
“Correct.”
“But at the same time, neither of
us was absolutely against it either.”
After a moment, Keitaro replied,
“Yes. I, I think you’d make a good wife, Motoko.”
Motoko blushed slightly and
smiled at this comment. “Thank you. When this started, I would have been happy
to have a chance to end this, but now…”
“Now what?” Keitaro asked when
Motoko just let the statement hang there.
“I’m, I’m starting to care for
you Keitaro,” she replied at only a hint over a whisper.
Keitaro stood there and let that
piece of information sink in. Based on that, he quickly recalled the previous
two months and certain events took on a new significance when viewed from the
new perspective. For a few minutes he had no idea how to respond to that, but
then he figured that Motoko was being absolutely truthful, and she deserved
nothing less from him.
“I think I feel the same way,” he
replied softly. Keitaro stared at the tops of his shoes as he added, “You’re a
wonderful woman Motoko, I don’t know any guy who wouldn’t think so.”
Motoko froze and held her breath,
suddenly very afraid. That statement had sounded like there was going to be a
‘but…’ attached to the end of it.
“And I, I guess I’m just like any
other guy Motoko.”
Motoko stared at him in
disbelief. ‘Did, did he mean what I think he meant?’
“I’m, I’m starting to have
feelings for you too, Motoko,” he said quietly.
Time stopped for Motoko. She no
longer heard the wind, birds or the waterfalls. All she could hear was the
beating of her heart, and she realized that tears were threatening to burst
forth any moment. ‘He, he, he cares for me? I’m not dreaming, he said he has
feelings for me!’
“But I don’t know what we should
do about it,” he added quietly.
Motoko’s elation came to a
screeching halt at that statement. “What do you mean?”
“Do you honestly know how you
feel about me?” he asked. “Have you thought out what that could mean to you and
your future? And can I be absolutely honest with you?” Motoko nodded faintly
and so he continued. “You must know I had feelings for Naru.”
“Yes, it was obvious,” she
replied numbly.
“I think I still do, but I know I
have some feelings for you, but I have no idea what to think or what to do,” he
said miserably. “There have been times I missed her terribly, but there have
been times I’ve wanted you so much it hurt.”
“You’ve wanted… me?” At this
point Motoko felt like she was on a roller coaster from all of the emotional
ups and downs she had experienced.
“Yes,” Keitaro admitted softly while blushing as red as a
lobster. “I, I don’t know what to make of these feelings.”
Keitaro’s revelation made Motoko
blush, but the thought of Keitaro wanting her gave her a greater thrill than
she could ever remember having. It also caused her to recall some of her own
fantasies about Keitaro. She forced herself to try to calm down and approach
the situation objectively. When that failed, she decided to say the first thing
that came into her mind. “What happens now?”
Keitaro sighed as he considered a
response. Finally he said, “I don’t know.”
Motoko didn’t respond to that.
She was slightly disappointed, as it wasn’t what she’d hoped for. At least now
she knew for certain that he cared, and perhaps that would grow into something
more.
Keitaro felt like he was in an
impossible situation, torn between his feelings for Naru and his growing
fondness for Motoko. The fork in the road he had reached had two different
paths, one that was familiar and a second path that held the prospect of high
risk, but also high reward. He didn’t know if he was ready to leave the
familiar path that he had walked before.
The two of them were emotionally
drained by their heart to heart talk, and they bothded ded for the blanket to
sit down and try to figure out what to do now. And that’s when fate threw them
one last curveball.
As Motoko stepped onto the blanket
she tripped on a tree root the blanket was resting on. As she fell, Keitaro
rushed to grab her and break her fall. He managed to reach her, but he
tr
tripped over the same root and lost his balance as well. When the dust settled,
Keitaro was on his back with Motoko in his arms, sprawled on top of him, their
faces just inches apart.
When his head stopped spinning,
Keitaro found himself staring into Motoko’s eyes. A breath caught in his
throat. ‘My God, she’s …beautiful.’ Her hair had fallen down in a cascade to
form a silken canopy around their heads, with a few loose strands covering her
face. Almost of it’s own accord, Keitaro’s right hand slowly came up and gently
brushed those strands away from her eyes. Keitaro then slowly rotated his hand
and gently caressed Motoko’s left cheek with the backs of his fingers.
Motoko closed her eyes and let
out a shuddering breath at the softness of Keitaro’s touch. She reached up with
her left hand and gently took his right hand into it. She slowly twisted it and
placed a feathery kiss upon the scar on his palm.
When their lips met, both of them
opened their eyes wide, mostly as a shocked reflex of what was happening. In a
heartbeat, and in perfect unison, they both closed their eyes and continued
with the kiss.
Motoko thought about her previous
kisses, first with Su’s ‘Krishna-chan’ contraption, and then Su herself. The
first one had been an infuriating experience, as it was unexpected and
unwanted, and she had taken out her rage on the machine that had done it. The
second kiss had been a little better, but Motoko had no interest in kissing
girls, had felt slightly violated, and had been secretly crushed that her first
two kisses had been disappointments.
Keitaro also reflected on his
previous kisses with Mutsumi and Naru. His first kiss with Mutsumi had been an
enormous shock, as he’d had no idea it was coming, and Naru’s reaction had
poisoned any possible romantic mood. His first kiss with Naru hadn’t been much
better as it had occurred only when Sarah had literally kicked their heads
together. They’d both been lucky that they hadn’t chipped a tooth in the
experience.
But for the both of them, this
kiss was what everyone wished a first kiss could be like. It was soft, gentle,
and fuelled by an uncertain but genuine attraction. At some point one of them,
or perhaps both of them, they honestly weren’t sure, gently eased their tongue
into the others mouth. This brought the both of them into uncharted territory,
but neither seemed to mind the exploration.
Motoko quit holding herself up
with her hands and let herself rest completely on Keitaro, moving her left hand
behind his neck and her right to his left shoulder. Keitaro left his right hand
where it was and moved his left hand around her waist, and then slowly slid it
up until it was resting on the exposed skin of her back. He also became aware
that another important decision maker in every man’s life had taken notice and
was now the source of great discomfort. Motoko noticed this new presence
against her leg, but she didn’t raise any objection at all.
For Keitaro, what made this kiss
truly memorable was Motoko’ir; ir; it was like black silk, and while Naru also
had nice hair, it couldn’t begin to compare with Motoko’s. It was an ebony
curtain around his head, and as nice as it had felt on his back, the sensation
was at least ten times nicer on his face. He heard her moan softly into his
mouth, and she was starting to slowly move against his body, causing all sorts
of sparks to shoot up his spine. The moans were even sexier than he had dreamed
they would be, and he realized that his left hand was pushing one of the straps
off of her shoulder.
At this point, the last objective
part of Keitaro’s brain, which was in imminent danger of being washed away in
the flash flood of desire coursing through his system, made it’s final effort
to stop what was happening. ‘Are you absolutely sure about this?!’ his mind
screamed, before it’s final resistance was overrun. This last ditch effort
somehow managed to create just enough doubt in Keitaro to give him pause.
When Motoko broke off the kiss
for some air, Keitaro placed his right hand on her cheek. He did this because
it meant she couldn’t just resume the kiss. He was flushed, aroused, and his
breathing had gone shallow; one look at Motoko told him that she was in the
same boat. Going against his body’s ut det demands was incredibly difficult,
but he managed to do it.
Just.
He also knew that if Motoko
pushed the issue even slightly, he wouldn’t be able, or willing, to resist any
further.
While he tried to get his ragged
breathing under control, he rasped out, “Are, are you sure about this Motoko?”
He was almost desperately hoping that she would say ‘yes’ and then the two of
them could resume.
This was not to be, as she paused
for a moment and asked, “What, what do you mean?”
“Are you absolutely certain you
want this? Without a doubt?” By this time the fire had started to ebb away
slightly, and control was just a little easier.
“I, I don’t know, but don’t you
want this? Don’t you want me?”
“With every fiber of my being,
but not if it will hurt you. I don’t want you regretting this for the rest of
your life.”
Keitaro’s words caused the same
kind of doubts to enter Motoko, and while part of her was pleading to continue
where she had left off, the rational part of her mind eventually won out. “I
can’t say for certain,” she said softly.
“Then don’t. If you’re not
certain, don’t. I don’t want you to resent me. If we do end up making love, I
want it to be because you want it, not because you feel you must.”
The two of them stayed in an
embrace while she considered that. “How will I know?” she finally asked.
Keitaro thought for a moment and
replied, “You know that little nagging voice in your head?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t hear it at all.”
Motoko smiled in spite of
herself. “So what happens now?”
“I, I guess we take it a day at a
time, keep training, and see what happens.”
“Keep training?” she asked.
“If you decide you don’t want me,
I’ll still have to impress Tsuruko,” he replied weakly.
“And what of Naru?”
“Same thing, just see what
happens.”
Motoko rested her head on
Keitaro’s chest, closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It was rapid,
but it was slowing down, much like her own. She realized that the experience
had been draining both emotionally and physically, and she felt herself falling
asleep. She decided to sleep where she was as it was quite comfortable, and she
liked the feel of Keitaro’s arms around her. By the sound of his breathing,
Keitaro was starting to doze off as well, and that was fine with her. As she
nodded off, the last thought that went through her mind was how peaceful she
felt.
***
When the two of them woke up about two hours later, they
packed up the rest of the lunch, shook the blanket off, and started the walk to
Hinata House. The walk back was noteworthy, mainly because they walked most of
the way back holding hands, with their fingers interlocked. When they got
closer to Hinata House however, the two of them separated, somewhat
reluctantly, and walked with a little more distance between them. They didn’t
feel like advertising that their relationship had changed, and they both
figured that Kitsune didn’t need any more ammunition to tease them with.
When they reached the bottom of
the steps, Motoko asked Keitaro to stop, took a quick look around to make sure
the coast was clear, and gave him a kiss. Then the two of them split up and
started to walk up the steps. Keitaro was wearing a soft smile and feeling
thankful that Motoko hadn’t worn make-up and thus left any incriminating
souvenirs on his face and clothes.
When they got back inside Kitsune
took a look at the time, raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, turning her
attention back to her horseracing. As Motoko went to the kitchen to put the
leftovers into the fridge, Naru nervously approached Keitaro.
“Could I talk to you for a
minute?” she asked. Internally, Naru was still desperately trying to think of
what to say to Keitaro.
“Sure,” replied Keitaro, who
wasn’t really focused at the moment, still thinking about what had happened
that afternoon with Motoko. He followed Naru upstairs and into her room without
really thinking about it. Naru closed the door behind her and as an
afterthought locked it. “What’s this about?” he asked.
The question was barely out of
his mouth when he was shoved back against the wall and found Naru’s lips
against his own. ‘Her lips feel different from Motoko’s’ the clinical part of
his brain noted dryly as the rest of his higher functions crashed. There was
such urgency and need in this kiss that Keitaro found himself kissing back, and
wrapping his arms around Naru’s waist. About a minute later Naru broke the kiss
and moved out of his grasp.
“I think I might love you
Keitaro,” Naru interrupted. “Losing you once hurt, I don’t want to have to go
through that again.”
Keitaro closed his eyes and
muttered, “When it rains it pours.”
“Pardon me?”
Keitaro looked up with a sickly
smile and replied, “You’re not the first person to say that to me today.”
Naru’s eyes opened wide and her
hands flew to her mouth. “Mo, Motoko said it too?” she asked weakly.
Keitaro didn’t say anything, but
his silence spoke louder than any scream.
“What did you say?” she asked in
a hoarse whisper.
Keitaro sighed. “The truth. That
I’m starting to care for her, but that I’ve also missed you terribly. Neither
of us knows what to do, so we’ll just see whatpenspens.”
“But what about us? What about
what we had?”
Keitaro was silent for a moment.
“We never really had anything did we?” he asked weakly. “Aren’t, aren’t we
‘just friends’?”
Naru felt the room spin as she
considered that. But as bad as it seemed, there was some reason to have hope.
“You haven’t decided, have you?” she asked.
Keitaro shook his head. “I don’t
know what to do or think. I guess I’ll know when the time comes.”
Naru found that she had nothing
that she could say to that, and so she walked out of the room, leaving Keitaro
alone with his thoughts.
Keitaro stayed where he was, his
mind attempting to assimilate all that he had heard today. Finally, he walked
out of Naru’s room and encountered Motoko as she was walking down the hall.
“What were you doing in there?”
she asked uneasily.
“Experiencing deja-vu.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we had almost the same
conversation that the two of us had earlier.”
Motoko went pale for a moment,
but recovered quickly. “Why are you telling me this?” she asked weakly.
“Because you both deserve the
truth.”
Motoko thought about that for a minute.
‘So now Naru finally admits she cares for him,’ she thought bitterly. ‘Only
says that she wants to be his when I show interest in him.’ She sighed as she
considered the of of Keitaro being willing to walk away from his first love.
She looked at him, did her best to put on an upbeat front and said, “Thank you
for your honesty. Now, I think we should get some more training done, wouldn’t
you agree?”
“I guess so, but now?”
“No time like the present
Keitaro,” she said as she turned and walked away, leaving a confused Keitaro
behind her.
She walked into her room and
changed into her kendo outfit. But as she was walking out of the room, her eyes
fell upon the short sword on the rack. She found herself walking over and
picking it up; she hadn’t touched it since that fateful night months ago.
Unlike that night, it was warm to the touch and felt comfortable in her hands.
She closed her eyes and thought back to that night, which had been the absolute
lowest point of her life.
Blood. There had been so much blood
that night. But not hers, as she had originally intended. Keitaro’s. He had
accepted terrible injuries to protect her from herself. His hands bore the
scars from that night. She had even kissed one of those scars a few hours ago.
She remembered kissing that scar,
and then Keitaro, fondly. It had been wonderful, the highest point of her life
so far. She had gone from the nadir of her existence to the zenith in just two
short months. Only one person had the ability to rescue her, it seemed, both
physically and emotionally.
She knew she was in no danger of
returning to that depth of despair, but she realized that she was on the brink
of falling from these heights. The sword she was holding had almost destroyed
her physically. Now she was at a point in her life where she was about to
damage herself emotionally.
‘I love Keitaro,’ she admitted to
herself. ‘But to become what I once was, I have to give him up. Or do I?’
She walked over to the drawer
where she kept Tsuruko’s letter, and re-read it carefully, considering exactly
how her sister had phrased it.
“It, it doesn’t say I have to
give up Keitaro, it only says I can!’ she realized excitedly. ‘It’s my choice!’
She shook her head as she finally figured out what Tsuruko had been up to.
‘Sister, I don’t know whether to hug or strangle you.’
Motoko felt a great weight lift
from her shoulders. She was free to do what she wanted. ‘But what does Keitaro
want?’ she wondered. “Would he choose me or Naru?’ She honestly wasn’t sure,
but she decided that she would make sure that he chose her. ‘Naru wasted her
chance with Keitaro, now it’s my turn!’
Motoko put the sword back on the
rack and started for the roof. She was standing prouder than she had in months,
and with a purpose in her stride. Naru had thrown down the gauntlet, and Motoko
would be damned if she wasn’t going to pick it up.
End Chapter Six
Coming Soon: Chapter Seven: All’s
Fair In Love and War
When I say coming soon, I mean, think up to three weeks.
It’s getting nuts at work, and I’m known for pulling forty to fifty hours of
overtime in two weeks. You do the math. The next chapter is coming, just not as
quick as some of you might like. Sorry.
Yet again, thanks to Harvey Bautista for pre-reading this
chapter. The drinks are on me, man.
Blah, Blah, Blah, Please Review, Blah, Blah, Blah.