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Post-metiér Conversations	By : SuckUBusJ Category: Hellsing > General Views: 8965 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Though this chapter
might sound a bit anti-Integra, it is not. I love her to pieces and
my favorite pairing is AxI, but for the sake of the story there is a
bit of tension there. Things will begin to get complicated from now
on. I hope I don't loose people because of this.

DISCLAIMER: don't
own crap... though I do own a Hellhound plush toy that I finished a
few days ago. It kicks.

There are little
things that suggest a AU, specially when it comes to Pip and Seras.
Take it this way. Since this story is flowing the way it is, I will
write little guides before chapters if I feel the need. Or you can
always ask me. I know what happens later on to him and her in the
manga. Don't take it in consideration here just now.

Bear with me and
with Pip's accent. I tried.

(LA Woman - the
doors)

“I can't
understand shit of what he's saying...” The Captain slurred. I
almost didn't get what HE was saying.

“Same here... but
I like it.” I said as smoke slowly came out my moving lips.

It was a horrible
mission tonight. We lost a lot of men. Captain Bernadette was not in
the best of moods when I found him sitting around his barracks having
a beer. I asked for a cigarette, I offered more beer, so we ended up
in my room having some cigs and beer and feeling a bit better. I
couldn't go to sleep. I was not only sad but angry at that scum that
attacked us.

We were both on our
backs on the floor, listening to The Doors. He said the last time he
did was about 3 years ago. It brought him good memories.

“LA
Womaaaaaaannn.... LA Womaaaaaannnn... zats all I get...”

I laughed out loud.
There's nothing funnier than a drunk guy with a heavy French accent
trying to carry a tune. Yeah, we can say I was drunk.

“... same
here...”

“...if zey say I
never loved you...” He's still singing.

“...they know
they are a-lyinggg.” And I continued singing too.

“Zats what eet
says?”

“I dunno... I
think so...”

More laughs.

“Do you have
Riders on the Storm?”

“... yeah...”
He stood up and went to change the song. He almost tripped though. I
laughed like a retard.

He sighed as he landed
again on the floor beside me.

“You are good
friends of ze police girl right?”

“...
oui.” I imitated him.

“... and you talk
about women zeengs?”

“Yeahhhhh...”

“How different is
she from a normal woman...?”

“Meaning...”

“Does
she... function like one...”

“'Function'?”

“I'll just tell
you, girl... I want to shag, she won't let me do it...”

“Oh no! Why!? I
hate people!!!”

“What happened,
luv?”

“I have the same
problem!!!” I said looking toward him with a pout.

“You do?”

“Yeah! I hate
men!”

“It's a
consinsssspirancy...” He tried to pronounce the word.

I laughed as if there
was no tomorrow.

“... or somezeeng
like zat...”

“Give her time...
it-it's... she hasn't done it before...” I whispered that last
thing.

“Oh?...”

“Yeah... be
patient, little grasshopper...”

“Little?”
He said looking at his crotch.

I pushed his side
playfully.

“I didn't know
Brendon was gay...”

“He's not
gay!—hey! How do you know!?”

“He's not
shagging you by choice, girl? He's gay--.”

“He's NOT gay...”

“--if you were
not friends with ze police girl--.”

“PIP!” I
punched his arm softly. Yeah, he insisted that I stopped calling him
Captain. “... there's someone else I'm seeing and he kind of
ruins the moments...”

“Who else?”

“...someone... I
can't tell you...”

“I know him?”

“I'm not sure.”

“... c'mon!!
Tell, girl...”

“I caaaaan't!”

“So
is he gay too?”

“No
one is gay!... it's just—I don't know what his problem is...”

“Yep, he's gay.”

“You
don't understand.”

“I don't
understand their 'not-shagging-you'.”

“I hate their
willpower.”

“They're gay...
move on, girl.”

“... whatever...
treat Seras well... she's the sweetest girl...”

“She's a good
girl, alright...”

“Don't
force her...”

“Help
me then, luv.” He said jokingly trying to hug me.

“... with
what--get off!”

“I need love...”

“You have two
hands... take a pick.”

“Nah... but I
could help you--.”

“Stop it!”
I knew he was joking.

He began to crack up
hysterically.

“I like your
hair...” I said playing with his long braid.

“Don't mess it
up...”

“Oop,
sorryyyyy...”

(knock knock)

“We are not
here!” Pip yelled. Again I began to laugh.

“Don't yell!”

“Don't take my
clothes off so fast, girl!”

“I AM NOT DOING
THAT YOU IDIOT!!!” I said laughing as I stood up and walked
toward the door.

“I can take
Brendon... and even your other guy...”

“Shut up...”
More laughs as I opened the door. “Hi girl!!!”

“... hi...”
It was Seras who had knocked. She looked a bit confused.

“Hey!! Look who's
here!!” I said putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling
her in. She still felt confused.

“... police
girl... what took you so long?” Pip asked his head upside down.

“... I-I didn't
know--you... were here...” She was surprised too I could tell.
And didn't know what to think.

“Ok, lovebirds...
I'm taking one beer and leaving you two to your... business...”
I giggled like a school girl.

“Byeeeee luvvv...
a pleasure...” Pip said from the floor.

“Same here Mon
Amie... nighty night!” I said raising my beer bottle and
leaving my room.

I closed the door and
thought... ok, where am I going now...

I walked around having
my beer and a cig I stole from Pip. Clay should be in his room...
hmm, I guess I will sleep there with him.

I walked there, only to
find no one. This sucks... where will I sleep? The vampire surely
will not be there. It's his peak time. But I have no choice. I don't
want to walk in these two doing the nasty or something. So off I go
to the mansion.

I had finished the cig
and beer a while ago. I zig-zagged a bit toward the house, my breath
fogging my sight. It was cold and kind of humid too.

As I stepped inside the
mansion, I realized the stupidity I was doing. But I was already
inside and walking toward the stairs. There was nothing I could do. I
almost giggled at what I was doing, but hey, what the hell. I slowly
walked down the stairs and finally reached the sub levels. I wasn't
sure where his room was but I was feeling adventurous; so I kept
walking and walking down the long corridor.

My eyes adjusted to the
darkness the further down I went. I made out a chair, a
throne-looking chair at the end of the hallway. I walked to it,
knowing I had found something. Him more specifically. My head, a bit
buzzed still, looked around. Until my eyes, adjusting more and more
to the darkness found what I had been looking for... and a little
more; the vampire, pining someone against one of the darkest walls of
the place.

I am weird and crazy.
My reactions are always strange I am told; yeah I accept it, and
buzzed I score a 10 in randomness. So I walked toward him and his
company very slowly and smoothly; as I have been taught in years of
martial art training. Un-root, relax, make your auric weight almost
disappear... all that. I smiled, grinned more like it. Well, well...
busted, vampire.

I saw a head of very
very light almost platinum blonde hair,
peeking from behind his shoulder. Heads are slowly rocking as if
drowned in a kiss. His hands are against the wall, something he likes
to do. Not touching the... woman it seems... just kissing her. I get
closer and closer. Shit, I am brave. I walk almost around the couple
and have to bite my lip to stop a chuckle. Well, well, who do we have
here...

Sir Integral Fairbrook
Wingates Hellsing.

Exterminator of
everything undead.

Protestant to her
socks.

Kissing a vampire in
his room.

By the look of her
hands, stiff and floating insecurely in the air... not knowing what
to do. My Commander, not knowing what to do. Priceless.

I walk toward the
couple, grinning slightly but... they are not aware of my presence.

Shit, I'm good.

I am standing, a bit
over a foot away of them, at their sides, my shoulder leaning against
the wall. This is awesome! They must be enjoying themselves to no
end!

Oh, power is a
beautiful thing.

(hiccup!)

I cover my mouth almost
mockingly as they stop and jump, her eyes getting as big as plates.

I turn to the vampire.
“... you're busy... hm... wow, you do get around the place,
huh?” I am so drunk.

I swear I could almost
sense a grin coming from him.

I reached for his
cravat and pulled him to me for a kiss. In his shock, he went with
it, absently and lacking much of his skill. I brushed his teeth with
my tongue and then backed my face away from his, letting his cravat
go.

“I'll go sleep
somewhere else then... sorry...” I looked at her, her eyes as
big as watermelons and her hands still in the air, in shock.

I saluted.

Then turned around
trying to not zig-zag too much.

I can't believe I just
did that.

The other two better be
done by now.

“First
floor is clear... you may proceed” I heard
a male voice on the radio.

“Roger that...”
I said into the mic.

I walked, ducking and
very alert, inside the building. The stench was hideous. These were
crappy freaks I could tell. Messy. No class at all.

“... class?
Since when those cockroaches have such thing?” A very well
known male voice tickled my mind.

“I am very
sorry Nosferatu Sir... I forgot that it is only a gift given to your
kind and only your kind...”

“How bitter
you... think, milady... is it something I said?... or is it something
I did...?”

My
knife buzzes through the air.

One ghoul down.

“pardon me if
it upset you so much, milady...”

“Upset me?

“... after all
you were not supposed to be there...”

“... right...”

Another knife leaves my
hand.

Another one down.

“Did you come
all the way from the comforts of your coffin to not understand a
joke, vampire? Or are you gonna help me here...”

“You don't
sound amused...”

“... oh
really?”

“Rather
aggravated, I would say...”

“You have a
wild imagination, vampire...”

“Yes... I
can't wait to show you what I have planned for us to do next time we
meet, milady...”

“right...”

I throw two knives as
twins and with a twist of my wrist they separate half way through the
air and hit two targets.

“Gotcha.”

“That was
quite exquisite.”

“Careful...
don't get a hernia by complimenting me.”

“Second floor is
clear Sir.” I said into the mic.

“Retreat
Officer... trash disposal unit taking over.”

“Roger that
Captain... out.”

“Break a
leg... in various parts...” I sing-songed.

“Thank you,
such a dear always...”

“Hey you know
me.”

“And what a
pleasure it is.” His chuckle tickled my brain.

I walked out of the
building and toward the van.

Yeah, we can say my
fucking ego is bruised. Damn him.

NOTES:

I got a
“Provocative” in a review. Wow, thanks a lot.

I hope this doesn't
get too complex that I loose people. Reviews let me know how
everything is going. If it's not too much of a hassle, please let me
know how I am doing. Thanks again for reading!
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