Something To Rely On

Chapter 7 Damnation Is Only Charitable When Hell Begs For Mercy From Above

Disclaimer. This is my story; I own it but not Shuichi and Yuki.

Warnings adult themes, angst. Vampire fic, AU

Hello everyone. Thanks for the reviews they help fan the fire of creativity and inspiration so the more I get the faster I publish a new chapter! Though one review questioned when the h/c, yaoi, toys, and other stuff when the sex comes into play. My response is that this is an actual story and like all great stories the plot takes time. I don't want this to be just another oneshot about sex nor do i want Yuki to just seduce shuichi like smut filled one shot.

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Tear my heart into pieces
I have one final wish
Damnation, asphyxiation
It's just a list that’s near completion

Without purpose or right
I flee from your very sight
Gasping back on the pain
I throw myself into this hell

Burn me alive if I find
Another stone more precious than you tonight
Grasp the pain that storms inside
Laugh out loud as it all comes down

My wings have broken in the rain,
Crimson feathers, that won’t wash away the pain
Without you, I know, there is no heaven or hell.
Only the cries that dance inside this shell

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Shuichi's POV


He was screaming. The fact obvious to anyone and everything. His voice was a siren, an explosive weapon that echoed into the night. Ringing into the wind it shattered into a sign of warning. Fabric swirled around his confined figure, his body coated with black. His mind was collapsing, his brain struggling to comprehend the acts that were transpiring.

Warm, frayed, black as a devil's soul, his kidnappers coat pushed harshly and uncaringly against him. He sputtered, his hands trying to push away the darkness. He threatened to choke from its suffocating essence. His soul was on fire, burning in a passion brought on by heart, wrenching fear. All around him, things flew past at a pace so maddening that his eyes could only perceive blurs and disfigured blobs. He was trapped, kidnapped by the very creature that had punctured his neck. The thing that had spilled his life fluid on the cold, barren floor.

The demon that donned the appearance of a man had returned, gliding into his room, and pinning him against itself. Cold amber eyes had flooded every one of his senses as he was overwhelmed by the entire situation. His wish had been granted, his desire fulfilled as he had once again stumbled upon something that appeared to have bloomed from the pages of a fairytale.

The creature that defied all reality had seized him, held onto him with such force that he feared he would split in to. That was when it happened, time stopped, his breath slumbered into a thin stream of intakes, and he exhaled. His world had swayed and he had crashed. The beast screamed, jerked and his head back with a sickening crack. Lost in purple pupils, the creature transformed in Shuichi’s eyes .

The image of a man was shredded, destroyed, and something that not even he could imagine rose to take its place.

Displaying symptoms similar to a nervous breakdown the creature seemed to have lost his mind. It was the exact same routine as last time, and it made Shuichi’s heart beat with a frenzy. He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to question, all he wanted to do was remain silent. To be blur on the world, a fly minuscule to everyone, it was the first time that he wished to become forgotten.

He would have laughed, found irony in it all, but he couldn’t. Rooted to the spot he watched as the thing he desired most didn’t meet his expectations. Then it all changed, his wanting disappeared and he was stolen. Flying through the air and out his window, the wind whipped his face raw causing tears to flow past his dark lashes and into the cold air.

He was screaming, he knew he was, and it made his heart threatened to burst from every joint and twist. He was flying; he was soaring through the sky high above existence. Perhaps if any other time and under completely different circumstances he might have possessed the strength to enjoy the sensation of being weightless.

However, all he could do was cling to the beast that threatened to consume him with a nauseating pressure building in his stomach. His body shook as the high temperatures took effect upon his body. The moon hung dominant, threatening with its never waning presence. Its light shined upon his constantly moving figure and increased the fear that was lodged tight between his chest.

Desperately Shuichi tried to push against his captor; to fight in some small way. Squirming like a worm about to be snared by a fishing hook, he finally caught sight of the demon’s face that held him so crushingly. Instantly his mind was filled with a rampage of thoughts. Dark and foreboding, images of rumors and whispers, scratching annoying in the back of his mind it forced him to recall tales of what would happen to someone if they were naughty; punished by creatures of a forsaken dark realm. Taken because they had committed sins, slain because they defied the rules of the world. All this flooded him, causing his mind to focus on childish warning to be wary of the things that go bump in the night.

“He was going to die, he was going to be slaughtered, and fed to the wolves,” he screamed inside his mind. Hiro was now whispering faintly to him, telling Shuichi that he had brought this fate upon himself. Cooing angrily that he should had listened to his advice, that he should have had enough common sense to possess more fear.

It was his passion for escaping reality that was about to doom him, to sentence him to a fate that was befitting of his mind escaping. “To be emotional is to be weak. To be passionate was to be vulnerable…” Hiro called as he took his leave and left Shuichi utterly alone with his captor. The truth hit Shuichi like a frozen tidal wave and he shrieked painfully into the wind.

The predator that held him smirked, amused beyond words at his prey’s antics. Finally power was being restored. Finally he was back in control, finally he forget every damn emotion that he felt except desire and destroy this pathetic human. Looking down at the human he filled with rage and he too screamed into the night.

His voice was hollow, lacking life, lacking purpose. It was exactly the type of yell that his sire had emitted. Shaking his head he cleared the memory, chased it away with the thought of what he was going to do when he arrived at destination. It would be beyond perfection, beyond relief, beyond any nirvana of heavenly sanctuary. Though….despite the words he thought, a part of his self , rose to the surface.

“What then, what will you do afterwards, what will happen if you still feel the same way you are now? Poor baby, they will cry when they glance upon your fear, filled form shivering noisily in the dark. What will they say, when you can no longer deal with what you have transgressed to after your little plan for saved redemption fails. Cry, hate, become filled with despair and try to cling desperately to your undead life hahahah… its only human after all.”

That’s all that it took, five simple words to have the vampire screaming into the night with fury. The voice inside his head chuckled, knowing that he had succeeded in trying to bring the blond Nosferatu closer to his breaking point. That was his job after all; the sole reason that the blood sucker had unconsciously created him. He was an out, a way for the vampire to vent all the disgusting, self loathing that build up inside of his hollow shell. He was created to swallow the remaining essences of the once alive being’s conscience. It was pathetic; the weak purpose that he was created for. However, it was the only way that the man could continue existing.

Cruelty doesn’t automatically attach its self to the dead. All that cruelty is composed of is the left over pickings of emotions after the soul has vanished and the mind remains. Without a heart the mind is a maddening thing. With an eternity to waste on thinking, cruelty only comes natural.

The need to destroy, the need for rage, the need to survive. With unbridled fury, they’re just creations made by jealousy and self loathing. Envy is the greatest sin, the one that continues to kill you long after your heart has stop beating. The blond vampire knew this and created him solely as way to vent everything that he kept bottled up onto everything else. He was the other demon, the super ego, and the messiah. He was the human that laid slumbering inside the vampire.

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He stopped and out of forced habit inhaled the stagnant air around him. Stale, tasteless, the flavor equivalent to paper entered his lungs, weaving distastefully in the air it overpowered any smell that humans might have once occupied the area. Decaying, death, isolation, it rolled around on his tongue as he breathed. The scent was perfect, comforting in ways that only he could understand.

Whimpering, weeping in a pathetic stupor his victim now hung limp, finally exhausted from struggling vainlessly to breach the blonde’s hold on him. Smiling at what was to come, the amber glazed man proceeded with his movements. His pace was slow, deliberate, and time consuming as he walked through overgrown grass and past a crumbling, stone wall. Resting hauntingly and deteriorating with every second that past, stood his one and only sanctuary.

Every inch, every particle, and every single fragment of it screamed forsaken. A portrait beyond description is what he would whisper to the night as the moon framed it with its silver silhouette.

Three stories tall it stood, crafted in a reflection of 18th century Victorian architecture. In its prime it had been a famous night time cabaret. Coated in wave after wave of sin and filth, the place stood tall and defiant as people from hundreds of miles had flocked to it. Drowning their worries in a bottle of warm alcohol, and forgetting about everything that plagued them, skin and flesh merged into one vibrant color. It was an escapement from reality.

That was then, now it was nothing more than a simple, hollow shell. A reflection of every pathetic, human being that wished to be destroyed or forgotten. Nothing living had entered the place in over twenty years. Resting upon a hill, its foundation had shifted and the stairs that led up to the door had collapsed. No lock resided on the door from when the cops either kicked it in or it had rusted away.

Inside nearly every window was either broken or fogged over with filth and exposure from the elements. Water was somehow still running though its contents possessed a color remarkable to that of mud. Heat and electricity were none existed in the building and when it rained it poured. Every floor leaked and the basement became an aquarium. The wood was so warped that terminates no longer longed to gorge upon it. However despite all this it stood, a will thrumming through it so strong that nothing so far had managed to bring it to its knees. That was just one of the reasons the vampire enjoyed lurking in its confines.

Reaching the door he kicked in and hissed as its hinges shrieked and slid forward. Then without any hesitation, he finally released the pink, haired youth. He threw him, flung him to the floor, and slammed the door shut behind him. Another reason that the decaying residence made him smirk in pleasure, you could scream until your lungs exploded and no one would hear the blood hitting the floor.

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I’m dying, screaming, and bleeding
Begging silently inside as my soul cries for my life

I am forsaken, I am damned
I’m getting tired of writing about death

I’m tired of longing for the light
Getting tired of dying inside

Screaming painfully I walk away from everyone
Burning furiously I run away from everything

Salvation to far to reach
My will not strong enough to keep

I haunt my own dreams
I will my blood to flow

All because I cannot face the truth
To be forgotten I must say,

Is something that has double meanings
Emotions are my poison

My reason for insanity
My reason for treason

My reason for forgetting
If I scream, I questioned, who would hear me in the dark

If I bleed, I wondered, who would see the stain
If I become something other than what I am now…..who will see the change

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Chapter 7Part two. The Wheel That Started The Change

Shadows blanketed every filthy inch of the room, their soulless forms attaching themselves to everything as they danced with aura of the moon. Its silver fingers crept through the broken, shattered windows and lured them to become one with it. Nothing had changed, in this place, in this house, time always stood time. Memories were perfectly preserved, perfectly vanquished. The creature loved this, savored it, devoured the way his victim hit the floor. Every instant recorded in his shriveled brain. A memory that was captured like a fly in a spider’s delicate web.

He had approached his sanctuary, entered its domain and had instigated the steps that would end everything. He had thrown him, his pink haired hostage, uncaringly, ungracefully to the floor. A hollow, barren noise erupted upon impact and merged with the blaring slamming of the door centered behind his figure. Lying frozen, petrified on the floor, his victim whimpered emitting a sound that spiked his senses and sent him realing. Realization began to set in, reducing his victim's pupils to fruitless black holes. Now there was no more amethyst hell to glaze into, there was no trap, there was just despair. And that was something he could handle, that was something that he slept in like a blanket. It was perfectly smothering, it was perfectly acceptable to the vampire's soulless mind.

Dust had risen, flying into the air, and coating everything with a stale, putrid film of fear. It enticed him, made his flesh crawl in a way that was completely opposite to that of the human on the floor. The human that whimpered, that screamed, that radiated intoxication. It was madness, it was bliss, it as sweet revenge. Darkness was his cover, his constant and always present shadow, as he hauntingly stalked the room. He was truly the predator, truly the hunter, truly the betrayer. He was everything as he waited for the one perfect moment to strike.

Fear had run out of ways to describe itself. Panic, desperation, mind screaming insanity these couldn’t touch the sensations that the pink, haired youth felt. Numbness was a blessing, a prayer that he wished for. Silently Shuichi prayed, pleaded for this to be just a fabrication, that reality wasn’t truly taking place. Alone in darkness of his mind he was suffocating, screaming into nothing as he was swallowed.

Coldness invaded every inch of him, chaining him, making him yell until he thought his vocal cords might explode from the pressure placed upon him. Still it overtook him, controlled him, inflicted him. Fire as cold of melted ice consumed Shuichi as he laid pinned on the floor. Movement was not possible, compatible thought was not possible, fucking doing anything was not possible. Shuichi begged, pleaded did everything in his mind to force his limbs to awaken.

Still nothing happened; still he was not rewarded with movement. His eyes, bloodshot and strained in every aspect tried desperately to break through the omnipresent dark to find the beast that brought him here. The beast that was going to kill him, the damn fucking creature that had thrown him to the floor and disappeared into the shadows like a demon from hell.

Downing the cape and shell of a human Shuichi had foolishly allowed him to overtake him. Shuichi knew it was his fault, Hiro did not need to voice this too him, it was constant in his mind. Slowly he tried to calm himself, screaming inside for Hiro to return to his side, to help him. Seconds turned into hours and hours into a life-time as breathing became a task that he was sure he would fail.

Some how Shuichi managed to collect enough thoughts to identify his prison that he was enclosed in. It was a room, he whispered, a room with four walls, windows and a door. Thoughts of escape and variations of hope entered his body and Shuichi held on to them. Grasped at them with bone, white fingers and denied them the right to slip away, to elude him. Noises, little scratches, they surrounded him, causing his panic to build so much that it burst.

Fear transcended in waves upon waves causing Shuichi to jerk his limbs and scream as if being electrocuted. Images of what was to come bombarded him; escalating to a point that the result was the burrowing of his fingers deep in the silken, mass of his hair. In one explosive sound Shuichi shrieked, pink tresses slipping threw the cracks of his digits as he yanked his hair out.

Little splatters of blood trickled down to the bridge of his nose, the sight of the vermilion pigment sent a jolt straight through Shuichi. Laughter, hidden in the shadows, echoing from every angle arose from his actions. Amusement was clearly heard, his actions clearly fascinating to the thing that was going to kill him.

Then like a shot heard around the world Shuichi shook. That was all it took. Funny, laughable, hilarious, it was exhilarating to describe the process that occurs after the human spirit is put to its test. A dam was released, its waters overflowing and drowning Shuichi’s senses as he lost all vision and saw black. The most unlikely of reactions occurred then. Fear vanished, pain arose, and angered flew to the surface as he once again screamed.

However this wasn’t a noise caused or produced by fear but by infuriation. A war cry it was, its declaration rebounding off the floor walls of his prison as Shuichi pushed himself to his feet and launched himself head first into the darkness. There was no need for reason, no need for direction, no need for anything yet a way to vent the swelling storm inside him.

Fury beyond that of a crossed God empowered every particle of his earthly flesh as his lungs contracted and breathing was no longer an action. Dashing madly across the floor Shuichi seized the vampire by the shoulders and tossed him like a rag to the ground. The same action that he had done to him, the same position that he had forced him to bear. A dog groveling for forgiveness, that was a label equally befitting for the situation. The moon light splashed over the undead’s features before Shuichi blocked its glow, throwing his lithe body upon the vampire’s larger one.

Surprise washed over the vampires feature as an act that he had never seen was put into action. Wildly Shuichi began to beat his fists; tossing his hands skillfully into the air he slashed the creature’s face with his nails. Skin, traces of flesh, became wedged under them as Shuichi fought with everything that he possessed. Insanity had transcended upon him and this was its result.

Then in a second he was the one pinned to the floor, the one adorning the mask of shock as Shuichi stared into amber eyes. Beauty, the damn thing contained every inch of the words meaning. Flawless skin, pale as fine, white dust framed by golden strands of silk, and of coarse eyes as powerful as the sun. It was the face of a fallen angel, a creature that truly had no place in his world.

Shuichi's inflictions, his strikes against that face stood out violently before disappearing. Skin sowed its self together, flesh infusing itself as the ugly blemishes vanished. Curiosity worked its way through Shuichi as the vampire pressed down upon him and bared its fangs. Noise registered in Shuichi's ear as a face was brought right beside his ear.

“Tell me, is there any thought in that head? Is your skull hollow, if I were to split it open what would I find. Will something spill out upon the floor or will it be as empty as a decaying corpse. ” He hissed, his tongue clicking against his teeth as the vampire spoke for the first time.

Pinned to the floor, withering in pain Shuichi focused on that voice and prayed. Desperately he tried to force his voice to be heard. Silence was painstaking, stabbing him with each second that passed.

“What no answer, no cry of desperation, no pleading? Can you not even cry, do you not care then? Should I take your life right here and now, end the inedible and put such a pathetic excuse for a creature to death? Do I scare you, is that it? Is that what compelled you to raise a fist against me. Amusing I must admit, no one has ever attacked me.”

He laughed, starred at Shuichi and smiled. It was a human after all, a thing ruled by emotions and swallowed in idiotic tendencies. A thing that walked in the sunlight and possessed a heart beat. It was breakable, it was destroyable, it was completely and total over come able. This was it, this was his moment to fix everything that had wronged him. This was his moment to prove that he was the undead.

Fix what though? The annoying question bloomed and attacked. Fix what, what would happen. What was there to fix? Below him the human was still unresponsive, still silent, still captivating. He reared back, his head spinning from the closeness and then lowered himself again. He breathed, inhaling the smell of the man beneath him and swallowed. Seduction was perfect, the smell as sweet as wine. Drowning in it he extended his fangs and sunk them into the body before him.

Warm, tantalizing flavor exploded in a melee of color in his mouth as he drank. It was perfect, he was floating, he was screaming in ecstasy. Colors filled his inner eye and blinded him. Bright and vibrant he felt himself being absorbed in them as he sucked at tan skin. S

huichi shocked by the action, whimpered at the pain and braced for the end to descend upon him. Above him the vampire shook as he drank deep, sucking his essence clear. Pain was slight, familiar, and discomfortingly as he felt himself become dizzy and breathless.

Spinning in the nirvana that he had created the vampire pulled back, released his hold on Shuichi and fainted. Falling forward he slumped against the pink haired youth as blood leaked from the vampire's mouth and tricked down his chin.

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