Nightmare Game

Nightmare Game


A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction


By SisterWicked


Chapter 7 - Fever Dream

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tyki shifted carefully, glancing down at the boy sprawled against his side. The redhead's face was relaxed in sleep, his breathing deep and even. Allowing his eyes to roam over the Exorcist's nude body, he shook his head, tugging the sheet up to his waist with a sigh. Turning onto his side, he propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze settling on the boy's bright hair, its color made even more brilliant against the dark material of the pillow.

Lifting a hand to the loose strands, he cautiously stroked his fingers over the coppery-hued swath, noting the surprisingly thick texture. He was stricken by the utter contrast of the boy's hair against his own olive-toned skin, for the first time truly seeing the form that his revenge had taken.

Though his various memories of the boy assured him that his body was usually well-covered, his skin retained a sun-darkened appearance, the shade slightly darker along his arms and face. Closer inspection of the Exorcist's nose and cheeks revealed an almost transparent smattering of freckles, their innocuous presence drawing a quiet laugh from the older man. Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he continued his impromptu study, following the shape of the boy's face with similar attention. His feature were definitely masculine, but the effect was softened by the line of his chin and jaw, his mouth curved impishly even when at rest.

Feeling suddenly awkward, Tyki moved his hand away from the peaceful figure, a sensation of despondent guilt weighing heavily on him as he shuddered. The boy's obvious charms aside, he truly seemed to be an honest person, despite his assertions of unworthiness. Recalling his genuine remorse for his prior actions, the brunette winced in self-loathing. 'I should never have done this,' He thought, closing his eyes. 'Of all his fellows, he is the least to blame for what the Order has done.. Nothing he did was spurred by malice, even his battle with Rhode.'

Feeling the boy stir, he looked quickly at his face, frowning at the sharply knit line of his brow. As he watched, the redhead shuddered briefly, his hands clenching tightly against the bedding. Reaching forward hesitantly, Tyki pressed a hand to the other's back, jumping in surprise when the boy moved closer. Blinking down at the top of the Exorcist's head, he pushed down his amusement, allowing the boy to settle himself before tugging the sheet higher to cover them both. A soft murmur of appreciation met his gesture, but the mildly troubled expression remained, causing the older man to wonder what he saw that could disturb him so.

'He called me beautiful..' He mused, closing his eyes with a silent laugh. 'I took him away from everything he had, used him like a whore, and he calls me beautiful..' Remembering the boy's indignant tirade, his thoughts sobered, and he recalled the first time he'd seen the boy in his white form.

Though his attention had initially been fixed on the boy's white-haired companion, a quick flash of color at the edge of his vision had drawn his eyes repeatedly to the other's brightly colored hair, distracting him from his rapidly mounting losses. When he had finally realized the extent of his now-reversed debt, he had internally chided himself for his interest, ignoring the quick spike of arousal at the boy's rather pleasantly formed features. The second time he'd seen the boy had been in battle, with a new uniform and a glint in his eye, the rage at his companion's seeming death still fresh enough to leave a raw edge to his hateful banter.

Past then his memory was intermittent, details of their final two meetings bleeding together until the point of his abrupt change in form. He could remember the boy standing before him in the last tower of the crumbling Ark, and he knew that Rhode had sealed him within her nightmare dimension, but his fight with the Walker boy had taken all of his concentration prior to the boy's evolution. The pain of having his inner self run through made clear memory impossible, but the awakening of his true nature had brought him face to masked face with the redhead for one last fight.

He had no memory of the smaller details of that battle, save an impression of fear and heat and blood.. the latter more of a tactile memory than a true impression. He remembered the boy kneeling painfully on the shattered floor, and the sweetly metallic taste of blood in his mouth.. Then there was nothing, until the Earl had retrieved him from the field and carried him away to be healed. The implantation of his sibling's Memories obscured all recollection between his revival and that awakening, though a single look at himself in a mirror had shown him that much time had passed between those instants.

His reverie was broken by a jerky movement beside him, the boy's sleepy murmur sounding suspiciously like a name as he sighed. The Exorcist stirred again, rolling from his side to his stomach, the sheets sliding down to reveal the smooth expanse of his back to the curve of his hip. Tyki followed the faint ridges of his spine with his eyes, the relaxed muscles slack beneath skin that he found himself suddenly itching to touch. Remembering the way that skin had felt beneath his palms, slick with sweat and sprinkled with gooseflesh, the muscles tense and shaking.. Even the ragged sound of his voice was recalled with enough clarity to make the older man's pulse quicken with dizzying lust. Jumping in surprise, he found his arm already half extended toward the object of his scrutiny.

He lay perfectly still, his hand less than an inch from the boy's exposed skin. The urge to harm and frighten the Exorcist had faded to nothing, as if the others inside him had seen his resolve and changed track to accommodate it. The feeling now was to keep and have, to make this person belong utterly to him.

For an instant, he wanted that, to take everything that the boy was and have it for his own, but the deep coloring of the mark on his throat drove the thought from him, a fresh wave of self-hatred taking him as he shuddered. 'I will not.. Even at the start, I wanted him to choose it.' The thought made him pause, his hand shaking where it still hovered over the other's back. 'But he did.. After what I've done, before I did this thing.. But he can't possibly have meant it, no pleasure I could give would replace an entire life..'

Watching the steady rise and fall of his breath, he realized that he knew almost nothing about this boy, not even his age. That thought was deeply unnerving, his gaze fixing intently on the other's half-obscured features in something very like horror. He could remember the way he'd looked when they'd first met, with his dark uniform concealing the lines and maturity of his body.. And the bandana that he himself had removed, it had held the boy's surprisingly long hair out of his eye while also downplaying the youthful shape of his face.

Leaning back, he studied the Exorcist closely, his chest tight as he admitted to himself that despite his worldly manner and behavior, the boy was almost painfully young. Calculating the time from first glance to now, he shuddered in utter disgust at himself, snatching his hand away with a low sound of distress.

He had raped a child.

Struggling to calm his quickened breathing, he shook his head. 'Not a child, but not far beyond it.. He can't have been less than seventeen on that train..' The logic did little to quell his rising panic, imagining Rhode as she had been, and even Jasdero and Devit, what any of his kin would have felt had this been done to their youngest..

His shaking intensified even as those youngest awakened within him, their presence for once alarmed and placating rather than malevolent or enraged. The sharp sting of sweat beading on his nearly-healed back was nauseating, the dull ache reminding him of how the injury had come to be.

He had taken this boy, a person closer to those he had loved than to the ones he hated, and forced him to pay a price far beyond his owing, over and over in so short a time.. And he had made him beg and plead for every moment of it, had made him enjoy it as if his pleasure in the act excused it. In his sorrow and madness, he had changed from the victim of the Order into something far worse.

He had become the monster that he had always feared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In his dreams, it seemed as if much more than a week had passed, his unfailing memory of the older man's expressions and mannerisms adding depth to his place in the boy's emerging impression of him. Despite the scarce opportunities to study the other's routine, his soft-spoken nature was clearly at odds with the near-vicious persona of before, making the sleeping Exorcist spin layer upon layer of supposed meaning to the change.

Mentally replaying his patient chore of letterwriting, the older man had shown that he was amiable toward things he saw as obligatory, but his passionate denial of harmful intent had given rise to an entirely new set of questions..

Sinking further into the displaced musings of sleep, Lavi wondered how it could be so simple, after what had happened between them. There was no lingering resentment, save that bit he held for himself, but it was far overshadowed by an unsettling sense of triumph, the feeling that he had finally been allowed to take a place of his own choosing, beside the one person he had never thought to have.

'Now do you see? All you had to do was stretch out your hand, but you lacked the will.'

He could almost hear the smile in the words, but what it meant was beyond him. "I know it now.. But does it always have to be.. like that? You made me hurt him, and I never meant-" A dry laugh cut him off, but the tone of the thoughts was unchanged.

'I didn't make you do anything, you did it all on your own.. But he liked it, didn't he? He's less delicate than you'd like to imagine, does that trouble you now?'

He shuddered briefly, pressing a hand to his aching temple. "He's strong on the outside, but there's something in him that isn't! If he was like that to the core, he would never have asked me to.." Controlling his defensiveness, he sighed. "He hasn't treated me like a prisoner, though.. He'd let me go, I'm sure! I just don't.."

'Oh, I know.. You don't want to go, not when there's nothing outside to go back to. Make this your place, then. Take what you wish from him until there's nothing left, and there's your place.'

Taking a breath, he shook his head. "Why does it always have to be take? This isn't about that, it's about-"

'Keeping. Having. If you could, wouldn't you rather have him offer..?'

He jumped in surprise at the soft voice, turning in the darkness to locate its source as it continued.

'You could make that happen, without taking by force.. Give him a reason to want it, and he'd never set you aside.'

Their point caught his attention, dispelling his anxiety at the sudden interjection. "Without.. But how? I don't know what to say, or what to do! How do I make him want something that I don't remember feeling myself?" There was a moment of silence, and he felt himself near awakening, but a quiet murmur drew him back to rest.

'You could remember.. If you let me, I'll give you everything that you need. Wouldn't it be better, to give something back? We've been kind, haven't we? You only think it was never there..'

He forced his thoughts into order, nodding. "I've pretended to.. But that wasn't real! It was just a part of the person I was, it wasn't the same as wanting to make someone happy!" Breathing deeply, he sighed. "I don't want anymore hurting.. If you'd just show me how to lie, it isn't worth it."

'You wouldn't be lying, if you meant it.. You want to give him that much, and he wants to have it. He needs it, doesn't he? You promised to try, so we will.'

Nodding again, he closed his eye. "As long as you don't make me say something I don't mean.. Help me. Show me what I used to know, so I can help him." Relaxing his will, he cast his thoughts back to a place he'd been for only a few weeks, a tiny village that met it's destruction under the boots of an advancing army. He'd worked with his master as an errand runner, a job that had allowed him to deliver critical information to the commanders of one side while the elder Bookman had done likewise for the opposite forces, his earnest and softspoken persona lending a nondescript air to his presence as the recipients had discussed their plans.

'We were always so kind to the lessers.. They told us more than any of the letters we read. We carried messages for them too, and they depended on us for advice.. He's the same, isn't he? He wants you to prove to him that even he can be worthwhile. If someone he believes to be good wanted him, he'd value himself more.'

Absorbing the logic in the statement, he agreed silently, allowing the faint sense of that other person to become clearer. There was a wrenching sensation within him, but far less distressing than the previous one, and he shuddered at the oddness of it. "Should I.. Wake up? I can't really tell what time it's supposed to be.." The response seemed somehow closer, not quite in his mind, but not outside, either.

'The time doesn't matter. Sleep more, I already know what to do.. You hurt yourself, didn't you? I won't let him find out, I'll do something to keep him from asking any questions we'd need to lie about.'

Sighing in relief, he was surprised at the depth of his exhaustion, but he knew firsthand that mental tasks were always more tiring than purely physical ones. "All right.. But I want to see what you do, so I won't really be asleep, will I?" The feeling of laughter was indescribable, but somehow not frightening.

'Watch us, then.. It's easier to have someone else doing all the recording. Do you hear something..?'

He frowned briefly, wondering when the faint sound had begun. "You can't hear while you're asleep, I think I'm about to wake-"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jerking awake, he blinked at the feeling of shaking beside him, looking up at the other man in concern. "Tyki..? What's wrong? Are you still-" He broke off as the brunette shook his head quickly, drawing back from his outstretched hand.

"Don't! You shouldn't be here, Lavi.." Shuddering in revulsion, he closed his eyes. "You're only.. How old are you, Lovely? How long has it been, since I saw you that first time? I never even knew your name.." He clenched his hands tightly, leaning away from the astonished Exorcist. "I should have stopped this before it even began, why would you choose to be here after what I've done?"

Pushing himself up, Lavi took hold of his shoulders, refusing to let him pull away. "Stop it. I already told you why, didn't I? And why does it matter how old I am, as long as I'm not... Wait, how old did you think I was?" Sliding forward, he forced the man to meet his gaze with a gentle shake. "I'll be twenty this summer, if I don't get myself killed before then. You're what, twenty seven or so? That's not enough of a difference to worry about.." He released his hold slowly, lifting his hands to cup the man's face. "Don't be like this, Tyki. I meant what I said, about everything.. I honestly think you're the first person I ever really wanted to be with this way."

Watching the brunette's eyes widen in surprise, he blushed faintly. "It wasn't emotional, but still.. Who wouldn't want you, after seeing you half naked? You know how good you look." He laughed at the man's shock, shaking his head. "I might not have a heart, but I sure as Hell have everything else.. But you already know that, don't you? It hasn't been that long, but there isn't much of me that you haven't seen already." Moving closer, he caught the older man's mouth with his own, urging him to respond with a slow stroke of his tongue against the seam of his lips.

Feeling his cautious acceptance, he deepened the kiss questioningly, lowering a hand to press against the man's chest as he sucked briefly at his lower lip. "Does your back still hurt, Tyki..? I'd like to look at it, if you'd let me.." He smiled at the other's dazed nod, climbing across his legs to sit behind him on the bed. Biting his lip, he frowned at the still-visible criss-cross of scratches, though all but one were nearly faded to nothingness. Tracing the length of it with his finger, he sighed. "This one's not like the rest.. I'm sorry for doing that, even if you don't care." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the skin just above the scrape. Hearing the brunette's quick gasp, he hummed curiously, repeating the light touch along the mark. "Is it sore..?"

Tyki shook his head jerkily, shivering at the feeling of the redhead's slow progress toward his nape. "Lovely, I don't think you should.. Oh.."

Brushing the man's hair aside, he kissed the ending point of the scratch, burying his nose in the lightly scented hollow where neck and skull met. "Why not? I shouldn't want to make it better?" He slid his arms around the other's chest, splaying his fingers across the skin to hold him still. "You don't want me to..? I'll leave you alone if you'd rather.."

Taking hold of the Exorcist's hands, Tyki inclined his head just enough to glance backward. "I wouldn't rather, that's the problem. You don't have to do that, Lavi." He closed his eyes at the boy's breath on his skin, still reluctant to enjoy the feeling. "Don't do anything for my sake, not unless you truly wish to.." Nodding faintly, the redhead shifted his attention to the side of his throat, his voice only loud enough to be understood.

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, but that isn't the point. Do you not like to be touched that way? If its too much, say so." He followed the line of the brunette's pulse carefully, pausing at the silent tenseness of his muscles. "Is this something that needs feeling to be all right..? I haven't been with anyone else, so I don't know if there's a limit to what people do when they aren't.. Together."

Leaning forward, Tyki turned around to face him, his hold on the boy's hands almost painfully tight. "No, Lovely! I didn't mean it like that, you don't need to worry about feeling anything! Do what pleases you, whenever you like.." He loosened his grip at the other's wince, shaken at the mixed guilt and arousal that came from the Exorcist's hesitant efforts. "Anything you would allow me to do, that's the only limit. Lovers set boundries on their own, Lavi."

Smiling faintly, the redhead nodded. "Anything I'd let you do..? Then.." He leaned in, stopping just shy of the other's face. "I'd let you kiss me, if you wanted to.." Closing his eye, he pressed his lips to the corner of the man's mouth, sighing. "I'd let you touch me, too.. But you always ask me what I want, Tyki. What do you want, really?"

He waited patiently for the brunette to answer, lifting a hand to draw meaningless designs on the skin of his chest. "Why don't you take a minute to think about it..? I'm pretty sure I can find something to occupy myself with." Moving slowly, he bent his head to replace fingers with lips, the sound of the other's quick breaths blending with his own soft hum. "I wonder.. We used the same soap, but on you it smells completely different.. Almost like liquorice." He licked across the dip of the older man's breastbone, lingering over a place that made him gasp. "Mm.. I always did like that flavor.."

Taking hold of the redhead's shoulders, Tyki pushed him back quickly, shaking his head. "Why are you doing this, Lovely..? It's too soon for any more of-" He faltered at the boy's pained expression, struggling for an explaination that would make him understand his reluctance. "You don't need to prove your willingness, Lavi.. There's more than enough time for us to talk about what bothers us, so.."

The Exorcist nodded faintly, allowing himself to be moved. "So you really don't.. Was I that bad, yesterday..? I know things like that get better with practice, but.. I won't do it again until you ask, Tyki. I just thought.." He bit his lip, cutting himself off. "I'm sorry, for not doing it right."

Stunned at his depreciating tone, the older man tightened his grip. "No, I didn't mean.. You didn't do anything wrong, Lovely. What bothers me is why you did it at all, you shouldn't have been here to do anything with me!" He forced himself to meet the redhead's surprised gaze, internally flinching from the lack of fear in the other's eye. "Nothing I can do will change the fact that it was wrong of me to bring you here. Even if you say you wanted me, I didn't give you any choice at all! I used you like that, and you would have.. let.. Oh, Gods." He closed his eyes tightly, unable to continue past the sickness he felt.

"That's a lie."

The quiet words brought his inner struggle to a halt, his head lifting as he stared at the boy in surprise. "What..?"

Lavi clenched his hands into shaking fists, calming himself with a deep breath. "You gave me a choice. You always do, every time you've touched me was the same! There's always something, an offer to stop, or a warning.. And every time you ask what I want, it's like you're asking if I want you." He gripped the other's hands firmly, pulling him forward with a frown. "This is the same, Tyki. You aren't doing anything to force me, not even saying things to make me want you. I wanted to try for myself, but I don't know enough about you to see if you want.. It's fine that you'd let me do things, but I would rather wait until you want me to touch you."

Sighing, he rose to his knees, closing his arms around the older man's shoulders loosely. "I know that I don't have to do things like this, but why can't I want to? Am I not supposed to think about it, since you don't think you deserve that? I only wanted to make you feel good.. You really don't want me to?" He dropped his arms to his sides, sinking back to sit on his bent legs. "It's almost like you still think I'm lying.. Would you ever believe me, Tyki? You say I don't need to prove it, but.. What would it take, to make you trust me?"

Averting his face, he glanced at the man's stricken expression from the corner of his vision, shaking his head. "I don't have any right to ask you to, really.. If you call yourself a monster, then what am I? You thought it would make you better if you humiliated me, but I didn't have any excuse for wanting you.."

Ignoring a faint jolt of alarm from his resting self, he laughed. "Its sort of ironic, that you'd find me first.. What you did wasn't really punishment, but having you not want me.. Do you think that would help you? You wouldn't have to do anything to me at all, and I'd still be-"

Tyki cut him off abruptly, jerking him into an almost painful embrace. "No..! I don't want that anymore, you aren't the one I should have taken!" Closing his eyes, he missed the slight upward curve of the Exorcist's mouth as he cupped the back of his head gently. "I don't know what to do now, Lovely. I'd be lying if I said that I don't want you, but I can't bring myself to ask for anything.."

Forcing down a smile, Lavi nuzzled at his throat, returning his hold. "If you never asked, how would I know..? Would you tell me if I asked?" Feeling the man inhale sharply, he sighed. "I was going to lick you, before.. Do you want me to do that, Tyki?" He hummed softly at the quickened beat of the other's pulse against his lips. "You wouldn't have to worry about hurting me, and you could return the favor later, if you really wanted to.."

Lifting his head, he met the brunette's gaze squarely. "I promise I'll be better than I was.. And I promise I'll stop if you tell me to. Do you want it..?" He leaned forward slightly, trailing his fingers along the man's stomach. Watching his eyes widen in surprise, he lowered his hand to cup the hardened skin of his arousal, closing his eye with a quiet murmur. "Tell me why you can't ask me for something I already want.."

Shuddering breathlessly at the careful pressure of his grip, the older man shook his head faintly. "I want it too, Lavi.. Please..? I want you to.. Oh, Gods please."

Pushing gently against the brunette's chest, the Exorcist urged him backwards, moving to rest between his spread knees. "You don't have to beg, Tyki.. I told you I wanted to." He slid back, pausing to lick at the man's navel teasingly. "Show me what you like, so I'll know how to do this next time.." Taking hold of the other's hips, he glanced upward briefly, biting his lip at the openly pleading look in his eyes. Feeling his sleeping other flinch guiltily, he shivered. "Please, Tyki. Don't think about anything else right now.."

Bending his head, he traced the tip of the man's erection with his tongue, his grip careful but firm as he repeated the motion steadily. Hearing his soft moan, he closed his mouth around the heated skin, jumping slightly at the sensation of fingers against the back of his head. The older man's faint shudders increased along with the Exorcist's efforts, his breathless noises growing louder and less coherant as he threaded his hands deeper into the boy's hair.

Pulling away slightly, the redhead licked at his skin teasingly, kneading the man's hips with his fingers. "I really do like this." He murmured, sucking lightly at the bend of the other's leg. "I love the way your skin feels on my tongue.." He drew a line from base to tip, moaning faintly. "I don't want it to end, but God, I want to taste you.."

Tyki panted rapidly, his eyes closed in disbelieving pleasure. Tugging the boy down, he gasped at his immediate compliance, the feeling of his lips driving a spike of need up his spine as he bucked upward with a rasping whisper. "Please, Lovely.. You're going to make me come so hard.."

Humming an eager affirmative, Lavi moved his left hand to stroke the tightened muscles of the man's thigh, the touch drawing an inarticulate plea from the other's lips as he arched away from the bed urgently, his fingers almost painful against the boy's scalp.

"Lavi..! Don't.. I'm almost.. Gods!"

Startled by the intensity of his response, the Exorcist forced down his own arousal, concentrating on the desperate pitch of the man's voice as he lingered over a place that made the other's breath catch audibly. Feeling his hips leave the mattress, he slid his hand down to support him with a muffled whimper, the answering growl leaving him shaken with the desire to satisfy his lover.

Realizing that the urge belonged to the half-dreaming self within him, he spared a momentary thought for the Exorcist, his movements unfaltering as he moaned. 'Can you hear..? It was this that you wanted to do for him, wasn't it?' Sensing the other's reluctant affirmative, he tightened his grip on the man's skin. 'He needs you to want him this much.. Show him that you do and he'll be ours.'

Turning his full attention to the man's lifted body, he intensified his efforts until the hands on his head became unsteady, the pronounced tremours giving proof of his approaching limit. The sting of his hair being held so tightly was almost shockingly arousing, the sound of the man's roughened voice driving him on despite the urge to seek his own pleasure. Ignoring his gasped warning, he sucked in a breath through his nose, the slight bitterness of his release ignored in favor of memorizing the tone of his impassioned cries.

Wiping his mouth carefully, he glanced toward the man's wide-eyed face, his smile both questioning and triumphant. "Better? I could always try again.."

The brunette panted softly, rising to his elbows with a faint laugh. "No, Lovely.. You've proven your point." He pushed himself upright, taking in the redhead's flushed cheeks. "I still don't think that I've done anything to deserve your concern, but thank you all the same, Lavi." Noting his slight frown, he shook his head, moving to pull the boy closer. "I won't dwell on it, if it troubles you.. Is there something you would rather discuss? Something like my returning the favor?"

Ignoring the quick leap of his pulse at the man's words, Lavi shook his head, allowing himself to be moved. "Aren't there any windows here? I know there have to be more than two rooms, since you've been going somewhere to get food.." He glanced around the half-lit bedroom, wincing at the almost bare appearance. "I just can't imagine staying like this for as long as you have, Tyki.. Even my room at the Order was more.. I don't know what to call it, it just didn't seem empty like this does."

The brunette shrugged faintly, wondering at his sudden curiosity. "Why would I surround myself with meaningless whatnots, Lovely? There's no one here to see, and I have everything I require.. Does it depress you?"

The Exorcist scowled at his tone. "I'd think it would depress you, since you're the one who comes home to it. Did you destroy Nyoibo?" The abrupt change of subject startled the older man for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"No. I only wanted to break you, Lovely.. But don't bother looking for your toy, I put it somewhere that you won't be able to enter." He tightened his hold when the boy leaned away, wondering if he should be on his guard.

Lavi struggled angrily, his expression thunderous. "Let go! I didn't ask for it, did I? I just wondered if you still had it! If you do, its another reason for you to trust me, because I wouldn't go anywhere without it!" He shoved himself back, growling in frustration. "I thought it might be nice to see the fucking sky before you decide that you don't require a roommate anymore, but I was obviously out of my mind to think that you'd-" He closed his mouth with a snap, taking a breath. "I don't want to fight with you, could you please let me up?"

Tyki blinked in surprise, releasing his grip. "The only way in or out of this place is with me, Lavi. The house itself exists in a place that no one else can reach. It doesn't matter if I trust you, there's no way for me to send you on your own."

The redhead's look was almost scornful. "I assumed you'd come with me, dammit! I didn't want to go galavanting off all by my happy self, I just thought you might know of someplace we could go that wouldn't be right in the middle of a bunch of people!" He shook his head in disgust. "Forget I said anything, Tyki. I only wanted to get you away from here for a little while, but like you said, you have everything you need right here."

The man's astonished face was like a slap, his open disbelief causing the boy to clench his hands tightly. "God, you really don't think my word's any good, do you? You think I'm gonna take the first chance I get and bolt.. I said I wanted to stay with you! I promised that I would, no matter what you end up doing to me! Fuck, if you think I'm plotting something, leave me here and go yourself!"

The frantic stirring of his other self went unheeded, his anger closing the connection between them as he raged. "I told you not to use me to hurt yourself, didn't I? What are you going to do, Tyki? Sleep with one eye open to be sure that I'm not going to try anything? Its just one more thing to worry about, having someone here that you have to watch every second!" He forced himself to stop, remembering his promise to help. "You still have some power, don't you? Destroy my hammer, if you think I can't be trusted. Its the only thing I could possibly use to hurt you."

The sharp pain of the statement carried over from his other, the Exorcist's anxiety impossible to ignore. "Its the only thing that's mine, you know. No one but me can use it, Nyoibo's like a part of me.. But I don't want it to be another excuse for you to stay like this." He shuddered in revulsion at the thought of losing his only remaining link to what he now was, allowing his other to come forward with a parting thought.

'Sometimes, you have to lose one thing to gain another.. Do you think he's worth more than that..?

The abrupt switch left the redhead dizzy, his vision fogged as he shook his head. Blinking rapidly, he met the older man's eyes almost fearfully, the tinge of gold there warning him that his next few words could be extremely dangerous. "It's something that you haven't taken, so.. Just don't make me watch you do it, please?"

Tyki flinched back from the pleading tone of his voice, his sudden anger diminishing at the offer. "I don't need to do that, Lavi.. And I don't believe its the only thing, really." He took a breath to calm himself, reining in the urge to do as the boy said. Closing his eyes, he relaxed. "I'll take you somewhere if you truly wish it, but there's something that needs doing before that.. Would you like to join me for that as well?" He smiled faintly at the Exorcist's eager nod, reaching for his arm with a quiet hum. Tugging the other forward, he caught his mouth firmly, pulling back with a gasp at the fervent response. "Goodness.. Are you so pleased to be going away from here, Lovely? There's something else that needs taken care of before either of the other things, I think.."

Lavi shook his head slowly, clutching the older man close as he shivered. "Not right now.. Can you wait until after..?"

Tyki smiled faintly, tightening his hold. "Honestly.. No. After what you did for me.. I don't think I could wait another minute, Lavi." He pulled the boy closer, stroking his hand along the edge of his hip. "I want you to understand something about me.. Not the Noah I was, but the man I am now.." Guiding the redhead up to straddle his legs, he bent down to lick along his racing pulse with a smile. "I never leave myself owing anything.. Why are you shaking, Lovely..?"

The Exorcist closed his eye tightly, taking a steadying breath. "I don't know." He mumbled, biting his lip. "You don't owe me anything, you know.. I didn't do it to get something from you, I just.." He faltered, shivering at the man's slow strokes against the skin of his back. "I wanted to make you understand, Tyki. It isn't about paying and repaying, I'm here because you gave me a choice and I made it."

He leaned into the man's chest with a sigh, resting his head in the crook of his neck. "Can I just stay like this for a minute..? Its like everything I say misses your brain.." The older man's quiet laughter made him smile ruefully, the loose strands of his hair tickling his nose. "You should pay more attention.. What if I actually say something smart one day? You'd be too busy molesting me to hear it."

Leaning back, he met the other's gaze evenly. "You can do all of that that you want, but don't do it unless you want to. And stop looking at me like you hate yourself, its a real mood killer."

Tyki blinked at him silently, his lip twitching faintly. "How would you have me look, Lavi..? Like I'm pleased to have taken you? You were the wrong one to choose for what I had intended, but.." He pushed firmly between the boy's shoulders, tipping his head to almost touch the other's lips. "You may be the right one for this." Ignoring the redhead's questioning noise, he licked at the corner of his mouth, smiling at the boy's confusion. "You missed a spot. Speaking of which.."

He kissed the Exorcist fiercely, his hands shifting to take hold of his hips. Lifting his head for a quick breath, he hummed at the wideness of the other's eye. "Would you be so hesitant if I told you that I wanted this for myself..? That I watched you sleeping and had to stop myself from ravishing you?"

The redhead's continued reluctance was apparant, making the older man pause. "Lovely, is there something wrong? You should tell me clearly, because empathy is not among my strong points."

Nodding regretfully, Lavi closed his eye. "It isn't like I don't want you, I just wish you'd take a little more time to think about it.. I wanted to do something just for you, without having anything in return. Does that make any sense?" He laughed at himself, rubbing his temples. "I just think that later would be the best time, especially if there's something you need to do.. It feels like it's pretty late already."

Smiling faintly, the brunette nodded, releasing his hold on the other. "It most likely is, Lavi. Its odd, but since you came, I tend to sleep much more than usual.. Perhaps its the increase in activity?"

Lavi flushed brightly enough to rival his hair, shaking his head. "Or maybe its just because you're doing something besides moping. Do you want to go, before you wear yourself out being funny?"

Ignoring the man's quiet laughter, he made his way to the bathroom, glancing at himself in the mirror. Though his face was still faintly tinged with pink, he could see the effects of his restless night, but the darkness beneath his eyes was much less pronounced than before. Sighing, he turned on the faucet, splashing his face with the cool water gratefully. Hearing the older man begin to collect their cast off clothing, he closed the door, reaching for a washcloth to clean what little evidence remained of the previous night's activities.

After tending to his skin, he took the opportunity to make use of the facilities, wincing at the soreness of his backside and thighs. Biting his lip, he searched for the salve he'd used before, covering his abused skin quickly. Returning the jar to its place, he looked critically at his borrowed clothes, deciding that the shirt would do, but the overly long pants may prove somewhat difficult to manage. He shrugged off his remaining stiffness, opening the door to find his companion already dressed and waiting by the bed.

"That was quick.. But I think we might have a little problem." The older man raised a curious eyebrow, taking in his less-than-clothed state with faint amusement.

"Indeed.. As much as I approve, I hardly think you're dressed for the occasion, Lovely." He laughed at the redhead's scowl, shaking his head. "If you don't mind waiting for a moment, I may be able to help with that, however.." Waving for the boy to sit, he left the room, making the Exorcist wonder exactly what he had in mind. After only a few minutes, he returned, handing the redhead his missing boots with a smile.

"Just as they were, Lavi.. As far as your pants.. Perhaps these would fit you better than my own." He presented the other with a sloppily folded pair of trousers, the cut and style distinctly different from the older man's clothing. Shaking them out, Lavi hummed curiously.

"Looks like they'd fit, but.. Aren't they a little.. Nevermind, I don't think I want to know."

Stifling his humor, Tyki nodded. "Most likely not.. But unless you wouldn't mind showing quite a bit of leg, there's really no alternative, Lavi."

Grumbling quietly, the Exorcist nodded, donning the slightly too-tight pants. Reaching for his boots, he gave the older man a sidelong look, snickering at the older man's obvious appraisal of his body. "Can we go, or d'you want to wait until you stop leering at me..?"

Bracing himself for the pain he knew would come, the brunette smiled. "We can go whenever you're ready, Lavi. I don't need anything else, unless you'd like something to sit on later..?" The Exorcist frowned at his teasing hint, the reference revealing nothing of his plans.

"I guess we should, since it's your clothes that'll be getting dirty if we don't." He muttered, waving toward the wardrobe. "Go on, then. Get whatever you think would be best."

Tyki nodded shortly, crossing the floor to open the tall chest. Reaching inside, he sifted aimlessly through the linens until he found a slightly threadbare quilt, pulling it out with a smirk. "This should be fine.. Now, where's that- Ah, here. That should do nicely." He straightened quickly, showing the boy an equally well-used satchel. "It's a bit awkward, but better than carrying a blanket with you, yes?"

Tucking the folded material into the bag, he moved to stand beside the boy, chuckling when he snatched the light burden from him and slung it impatiently over his shoulder. "As you will, Lovely.. Stand very still, I'd hate to lose half of you on the way.."

Taking hold of the other's arm, he willed them to the alley just beside their destination, taking care to check the street for pyring eyes before stepping out of the shadows. "Here we are.. Are you all right, Lovely? You look as if you're dizzy." Lavi shook his head faintly, following him into the late-afternoon sunlight.

Watching the redhead's expression turn curious, Tyki allowed him a moment to reorient himself, motioning toward the steps. "Shall we? Don't forget, they believe me to be human here, Lavi." Seeing the boy's rebellious frown, he smirked. "I mean that they only know of my assumed name. I couldn't very well tell them about myself, could I?"

The Exorcist nodded reluctantly, joining him as he ascended the steps. "I get it, but why are we here at all? Don't tell me you need a check up." The older man snorted quietly, pulling open the door.

"Hardly. We're here to visit someone, Lovely." He waved the boy forward with a smile, joining him inside the hospital's smallish waiting area. Closing the door behind them, he turned to the nurse's station, inclining his head at the gleeful Sarah.

"Miss Porter. I trust that all is well?" Her happy nod was only slightly affected by her curious glance at the man's companion, her eyes moving between them as she rose to her feet.

"Oh, we're wonderful.. But I didn't expect you back so soon! Were you here to see Michaela, or does your friend need something?" Her careful phrasing was not lost on the elder of the two, making him wonder exactly how he should reply.

"Actually, we're both here to see her.. Oh, how rude of me, I haven't introduced you. Lavi, this is Sarah Porter, a nurse here. Miss Porter, this is Lavi, a recent aquaintance of mine.. We're on our way for an outing, so I brought him along with me before we go. Will that be all right?"

She beamed at the pair brightly, nodding. "It's perfectly fine! Would you like to go back now? It's almost time for my rounds again." She gestured to the hallway, stepping quickly from behind the desk to lead the way. "Bethany didn't see fit to continue on here, so there's only the relief nurse in.. You can stay as long as you like, I'll come back by when I finish the walkthrough."

Tyki nodded slowly, stifling a laugh at the Exorcist's persistant tug at his sleeve. "That should be agreeable.. Has she been fed?" Sarah shook her head, pushing open the door with a smile.

"Not just yet, it's been busy today.. Would you like to do it? She seemed to enjoy the attention.." Her wheedling tone brought a faint smile to the man's face as he nodded, following her inside before turning to his anxious companion.

"Are you in any great rush, Lavi..? It wouldn't take long, as eager as she was the last time.." The boy shook his head in confusion, taking in the room with growing understanding.

"No.. It's fine. Anything you want, Tyki."

Smiling, Sarah made her way to the nursery door, calling back to the amused couple as she went. "I'll bring her out, just give me a few minutes to get her situated!" That said, she allowed the door to swing silently closed behind her, leaving the two alone in the room.

Scowling at the older man, Lavi snorted. "You could have just told me, you know.. But I don't understand exactly what we're here for. Is this where you went, before?" He shook his head at the man's affirmative, setting his bag into a chair. "You really are an incredibly strange person, Tyki.." The former Noah smirked faintly, setting his coat atop the other's pack.

"I never claimed otherwise, Lovely.. Ah, here we are." He nodded at the approaching footsteps, motioning toward the seats along the wall. "Let me take care of the matter at hand, and I'll explain a little more clearly after Miss Porter goes for her walk."

Biting his lip, Lavi sighed, seating himself to wait as the nurse reappeared, her arms wrapped firmly around a squirming yellow blanket.

Blinking at the tiny figure in the woman's arms, he turned to his companion. "Is that her..? I mean, she's the baby you found?" His eye widened at the man's slow nod, his expression incredulous as the brunette sank into a nearby chair. Motioning for the other to join him, he lifted his arms to accept the proferred bundle, carefully positioning the child's head into the bend of one elbow.

Sarah turned to leave, waving faintly. "Well, I'm off.. Call the nurse if you need anything else, and I'll be back in a bit." Reaching into her pocket, she handed a filled bottle to the Exorcist, nodding a quick farewell. "It's just warm enough, so take your time.. Have fun!" She left silently, wondering at the odd relation between the two. 'I must have misheard him, it almost sounded as if he called him- Well, his name was Lavi, so of course it was just my ears tricking me..'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Smiling faintly, Tyki nudged the blanket away from the child's face, revealing her bright hair and owlishly blinking eyes. "Hello again, Little One.. Are things better without the smelly old lady bothering you?" A soft noise of contentment spoke volumes, her hands waving happily at the familiar voice. He laughed quietly, offering a finger for examination. "I've brought someone to see you, if you feel like a bit more company?" Glancing at the stunned redhead, he smirked.

"Would you like to hold her, Lovely? She doesn't really bite all that hard.." As if to dispute his statement, she latched onto his fingers with a delighted squeal, her abrupt movements startling the redhead out of his disbelief.

"Says you.. But at least she doesn't have any teeth. How old do they think she is?" He bent closer, studying the child's size and features. "A week or so? I've never really been around a baby this small.."

Tyki nodded, smiling at the girl's curious noises. "She was still wet when I found her, perhaps a few hours old but no more.. They say that the orphanage can't take her in, so she's still here." Humming at the Exorcist's fascinated examination, he sighed. "I must say, she looks much better clean.. Would you like to introduce yourself, Lavi? I'll most likely return until someone else takes her, so you should at least be aquainted if you wish to accompany me.."

The redhead nodded wordlessly, bending closer. "Hello there, Miki... I'm Lavi. How are you?" He glanced upward at the man's confused hum. "Her name's Michaela, right? A little nickname never hurt anyone.."

Snorting quietly, the older man shook his head. "Of course not, Lovely.. I merely wondered if you were planning on holding Miki yourself, since newborns generally see best at about six inches."

Scowling at his amusement, Lavi sat back in his seat. "Well, Tyrone, I guess I better, just to be sure that she knows which idiot I am." Passing the silently watching child to him, Tyki lifted an eyebrow.

"Indeed. You're the loud one with the red hair.. I'm the quiet one that removes the organs of people who call him Tyrone."

The redhead laughed, accepting the slight weight of the child. Shifting her carefully, he pushed down his sudden anxiety at just how small she really was. "Is.. Was she this little, when you found her..? The youngest one I knew was probably twice her size." His voice must have betrayed his nervousness, making the older man slide further toward him with a slow nod.

"She's grown a bit, but they think it may be some time before she's properly caught up with others her age.. She may very well have been birthed early. But other than that, she seems fairly well off to me, not that I'm overly familiar with babies myself." He urged the Exorcist's arm slightly higher, adjusting the placement of her head. "Like this.. And calm down, Lavi. I doubt there's much harm you could do by simply looking at her."

She murmured as if in agreement, blinking up at the boy solemnly. Leaning close, he smiled brightly, taking a breath to repeat his earlier greeting. Before the words could form, a stray piece of hair brushed her cheek, and she squealed eagerly as she batted the tickling strand with cross-eyed enthusiasm. Blinking in surprise, he allowed her to close her fingers around it, wincing at the continued flailing as she attempted to locate her mouth.

Gently disentangling the Exorcist's hair, Tyki laughed. "She tends to do that rather often.. But then again, I seem to have the same habit, at least as far as you're concerned. She may be hungry, would you like me to take her?"

Lavi shook his head faintly, biting his lip. "No, I'll do it.. You don't mind or anything, do you? I mean, you're-" He frowned at his tone, clearing his throat. "Its not hard, right? She knows what to do once she has her bottle.." He fumbled for the container absently, noting that the glass still felt warm to the touch. "I just have to hold it so she doesn't swallow air, and not let her have too much at once..?"

The brunette hummed in agreement, wondering why the boy's slight worry was so distracting. "She'll most likely stop when she's had enough, Lovely.. She sleeps when she's full." Watching the redhead nudge the childs mouth with the bottle, he was struck by the utter domesticity of the scene, shaking his head at the feeling of exclusion.

Looking up, the Exorcist frowned at his silence, thinking that he'd overstepped his bounds unwittingly. "Are you sure its all right..? You don't look very happy about it.." Feeling her squirm abruptly, he glanced down, alarmed by the mewl of discontent. "What am I doing wrong..? Does she always do that?" He moved the bottle away from her waving hands, unnerved by the answering half-cry. He turned to the older man quickly, his eye wide with mounting panic. "D'you think its because she doesn't know me? I should have let you-"

Tyki shook his head, catching one arm carefully. "She may be overexcited, Lavi. I sincerely doubt that she's old enough to simply hate you on sight.." Tucking the blanket around her arm, he gently took hold of the other, laughing in surprise as she clenched her fingers around his thumb with a growling whine. "Or she may simply be greedy. Try again, Lovely." He stroked his fingers across the back of her grasping hand, sighing in relief as she settled herself closer against the Exorcist's chest.

Nodding, Lavi offered her the bottle a second time, smiling as she latched on with a quiet wheeze. Flushing slightly, he laughed. "M'sorry about that, I just thought that I'd done something wrong.." Looking up at the older man, he sighed. "You're really going to keep coming, Tyki? Aren't you afraid you'll get attached..?"

The half-seriousness of his tone made the brunette smile as he shook his head. "I'll visit her as often as I can, but no. I doubt I'll have to worry about growing overly fond of her, since she is rather a good candidate for adoption.. She'll most likely be gone within the month, wouldn't you think?"

Glancing over the child's visible body, the Exorcist hummed. "She looks perfectly healthy and all, but.. I wouldn't have thought that someone could have just left her like that. Was she sick, or anything like that when you found her?"

Tyki shook his head, carefully adjusting the bottom half of her wrappings. "She was awake, and didn't seem unwell, but she has a mark-" He pointed to the bright spot of red on the sole of her foot, smiling when the faint touch made her squirm. "But this was the only imperfection I could see. Miss Porter never mentioned a defect of any kind, so.."

Eyeing the birthmark closely, Lavi frowned. "That's it? Well, that's just stupid.. I had something like that on my back when I was a kid, and it went away on its own when I was only about 12.." Narrowing his eye, he tightened his grip on the now-dozing infant, shaking his head in obvious disgust. "She's better off here, then. If her mother did that to her, she didn't deserve a baby in the first place."

The older man nodded in agreement, rewrapping her feet. "I thought the same thing myself, actually. But now that she's sleeping.." He raised an eyebrow at the redhead's curious look, sliding back into his chair with an expectant hum.

Snickering quietly, Lavi nodded. "Oh, of course. The almighty hater of humanity wants his baby back.. Excuse my coughing, I think there's a frog in my throat." Handing the child to the waiting brunette, he coughed unconvincingly. "There it goes again.."

Positioning the baby's head carefully, Tyki nodded. "Indeed. It must be delayed reaction from earlier.. I'm sure the nurse would bring you some water if you needed it, Lavi." Laughing at the boy's indignant blush, he relaxed, recovering the child's loosely fisted hands with a corner of the blanket. "I never really hated people, Lovely.. It was more that I killed from necessity than malice. I did keep a part of myself in league with humans, but in the end it didn't save them, did it?" He sighed quietly, avoiding the Exorcist's questioning look. "And she isn't mine, unless you believe that saving a life gives me claim to it.."

Blinking in surprise, Lavi shook his head quickly. "I didn't mean it like that, I was only joking, Tyki." Leaning close, he forced the man to meet his gaze. "You aren't responsible for a life you save, either.. So why are you here at all?"

The brunette smiled faintly, shrugging. "I don't really know, Lavi. I do a great many things for no reason." Staring at the Exorcist meaningfully, he shook his head. "You make a valid point, however.. She's no more mine than you are." He turned toward the sound of approaching footsteps, glad for the interruption. "Are you ready to go, Lovely..? I believe Miss Porter has finished her rounds.."

He didn't wait for a reply, rising to his feet as the woman pushed open the door. "We must have bored her, she fell asleep on me again." He smiled, handing the child to the grinning nurse. "But then again, I suppose she should get all the rest she can manage now, yes?" Sarah nodded happily, her gaze skipping from the sleeping babe to the oddly matched couple and back.

"She's doing well, even though she's still a bit small.. Did you enjoy your visit, Mr. Lo- Er, Lavi?" She flushed at her almost-error, sighing in relief when the younger of the two seemed to miss her unwitting slip.

"Oh, yes. She's a cutie." He smiled winningly, passing her the emptied bottle carefully. "I was just telling Tyrone here that he'd better watch out, or she'll have him hooked." Snickering at the man's short growl, he retrieved his pack from the seat, holding the man's coat out innocently. "But I should be careful too, since I'll probably come back when he does.. If I survive the day, that is." Nodding politely, he waited for the brunette to don his coat, waving at the softly snoring bundle. "Bye-bye, Miki.. It was nice meeting you!"

Tyki squelched the urge to throttle the impishly grinning boy with effort, offering a hand to the confused nurse. "As always, a pleasure.. And as he says, we'll most likely be seeing you again soon. Good day, Little One, Miss Porter.." Turning away from the woman's amused face, he scowled at the waiting Exorcist, opening the door quietly. Making his way to the front door, he ignored the quiet snorting from his side, pushing the outer doors open with a sigh.

"Lavi, sometimes I think that you must have been a very clumsy child.. One that often had occasion to fall on its head." Glancing at their surroundings, he noted the lengthening shadows with surprise, reaching into his pocket to check his watch. "Already half-past 6..? My Goodness, no wonder you're delerious, you must be suffering from low blood sugar." He caught sight of a brightly striped canopy near the street's end, closing his watch with a snap. "Would you like to eat something before we go, Lovely? It seems a bit foolish to go home when we've just left."

The redhead blinked at him in surprise, wincing as his stomach grumbled faintly. "Ah.. We should. You should, you haven't had anything either, right..?" He frowned at the man's negative, elbowing him gently in the ribs. "Let's do that then, so you don't die of malnutrition. What did you have in mind?" He followed the brunette's line of sight, nodding. "Looks like a nice place.. Come on, I want to see where we're going before it gets too dark to appreciate your generosity."

Shaking his head at the Exorcist's impatience, Tyki allowed himself to be pulled in the direction of the small cafe, wondering if the day's final destination would meet the boy's obviously high expectations.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Couldn't you just die?


Well, I guess thats that. Until the next chapter, keep your noses clean P: