Je Ne Regrette Rien

AN: This chapter was a B**CH to write.... I’m really unhappy with it...... *sigh* and it’s a two part chapter, so chapter 7 is the second half of this. But chapter seven didn’t nearly as many issues….. go figure.

Suggested Listening: Panic Switch by Silversun Pickups; World So Cold by Three Days Grace

Chapter 6: Choler

~Matt~

We had a lead. And that lead was Mello getting tortured. I refused to wait around for another video to come along, I needed to do something. Standing up, with all the intention of doing something incredibly stupid, I was stopped by L's voice.

“Matt, if you leave, everything Mello has done as well as endured to keep you safe will have gone to waste. If you are taken captive, and I assure you that if you leave you will, they will use you against Mello to get the information they seek. Provided they don’t use him against you.”

I hated L at this moment. I set my jaw and my teeth were clenched almost painfully together.

“All we can do is amass data and look for the clues they didn't intend to leave.” damn him for making sense. All I wanted to do was go out and find Mello, and the quickest way to do that... was the one thing I couldn't do.

He as right, I knew this. I couldn't keep control over my emotions at the moment. They were fluctuating between worry, despair and anger. “Matt is beginning to act as Mello would.” Near said tonelessly.

I closed my eyes behind the goggles. I couldn't work with them at the moment. We may be working towards the same goal, but if I had to deal with any more of Near's constant comments I was going to do something I was sure I would regret in the future.

Perhaps…

Turning, I disconnected both laptops and gathered them in my arms. “Where are you going?” L questioned, though his typing hadn't stopped. I knew he would be searching to see if the origin of the broadcast could be found, while Near would be doing something, I didn't really care what. The footage would have been left to me and my programs.

“To my room.” I ground out as I left.

And I planned on staying there, with no distractions, until I found something of use... or another tape was released.

I prayed that I found something first. Mello's life depended on it.

I shut my door and locked it once inside, though I knew they probably had a key. I would have to remedy that in a little while, but I figured I was too shaken to do that at the moment. Mello had almost died... on live TV. While I was watching.

Not even doing anything to help him, just watching.

Maybe, if I had been trying to hack the signal, we could have found him. What if, by not doing something, anything, I had just condemned him to death? I would never know, and it was a horrible feeling to have.

If it was the last thing I did, I was going to get Mello back and help destroy the Organization.

But first thing was first, I needed to find Mello's location. Ergo, I had to study that broadcast. I knew L would have started to record it before he'd had Watari even turn on the TV. That video recording would be on L's system and not my own.

But being as I had just used his system first hand not all that long ago, I could tap into it even from my room. Simply because I planted myself a backdoor into his system with layers and layers of code and personally created firewalls that only I could get through, or L.

He had to have known I was doing it, so I would assume he would have left it open. And if he hadn't known, then it would definitely have remained untouched.

I couldn't help but smirk a little as I got in easily; whichever it ended up being, I was in.

My slight good mood instantly vanished the moment I found the broadcast clip. Taking out my headphones I put them on and made sure the volume was at a manageable level before pressing play.

The screen was blank for a moment, the same blank screen with Organization' stretched across it, before it cut to dim lights. My eyes immediately locked onto Mello and I had to force them away.

“Look at the scenery, not the people. The people won’t give you the clues....” I muttered to myself. But it was so damn hard to try and ignore Mello. His naked and beaten form, his gasping breaths...

The room looked like it could be a basement. Except for the fact that the walls didn't appear to have the right look. The floor was concrete; there was no doubt about that. But combined with the walls it looked like the concrete was a recent addition to the room, like there should have been carpet there before.

Or even wood flooring.

This was all just speculation on my part though....

Mello was struggling weakly in his captors hold as his head was held in the water.

The tank was made of metal and glass, nothing special...

His struggles ceased and for all appearances he seemed to have given up.

Mello was finally released and dropped to the floor, the sound of coughing and gasping echoed.

A hand came in view of the camera, but didn't block out the view. Someone had to have been standing off to the side as the man in front never moved from his spot beside Mello. A flash of light lit up on the side of the video, I assumed it was a glitch from moving the webcam.

His head was pulled up and into the view of the camera, the only other views being the cloaked man and the cement flooring. All else was silent in the background as well, as Mello antagonized his captor.

After the man hit Mello, he said his little speech about Mello and coming after L. And just as the webcam was going to be turned off Mello mouthed something. I slowed it down and rewound it so I could read his lips.

“I'm sorry, Matt.” I closed my eyes. He was getting tortured but was more worried about my reaction to this. I knew what he meant. Sorry for not telling me, sorry for not getting to England...sorry.

Leaning forward I buried my fingers in my hair and took several calming breaths. How the hell was I supposed to analyze this? All I could concentrate on was Mello. Mello held captive, Mello getting tortured, Mello injured....

Something sparked my memory, something I had noticed earlier.

I rewound the video and slowed it to a crawl. There it was, almost covered by his greasy wet hair, blood. He had blood dripping down the side of his face. It was only there for a few seconds before it became completely hidden.

It looked recent...

He was still holding strong though, by the looks of it. But for how long....

I rewound until it reached the beginning; I left it on slow.

I don't know how long I had been going over the video. I went over it so many times, but my concentration was split between analyzing the scene... and Mello.

I pulled my ear buds out, something drawing my attention outside of the video. Someone was knocking at the door. I had no way of knowing how long I’d been at this so far, but I expected it was long enough for one of them to be bothering me.

With an irritated sigh I got up, unlocked the door, and opened it. Watari stood there and I thought I could see L poking his head outside the computer room for a moment. “Yes?” I tried not to sound too frustrated though I think it came out more as irritation.

“You have been in there for hours, perhaps you would do best with a break.” Watari gave me a knowing look and I couldn't help the way my shoulders slumped. But no, I wouldn't be giving in this time.

“Sorry. Any breaks will have to wait, I’m... in the middle of something.” it was clear that Watari didn't believe me, hell, I wouldn't believe me. But I wouldn't be able to rest until I was too tired to do anything else, and that time hadn't come just yet.

“I'll rest when L does.” I said firmly. I was not budging on this, and I wasn't going to leave my small sanctuary until I had something more to go on, or the inevitable other video came in.

“I suppose you will want your meals brought here as well?” he questioned. I nodded awkwardly. I really didn't want to make extra work for him, but it seemed like I wouldn't have a choice.

I probably would forget to eat otherwise; at least until I was about to pass out.

“Are you positive you wouldn't like to work with them?” there was no need to specify whom he was talking about. We both knew.

I shook my head once more and closed the door.

Stretching, until the tension eased a little in my shoulders, I went back to the laptop. For all our smarts... we were useless when it actually mattered.

After hours watching the computer, my eyes were watery and burned from exhaustion, even with my goggles. Eventually I got up and moved over to the bed where I was more comfortable, but not before I used the unoccupied chair to block the door.

Granted it wouldn't take them too long to break down the door if I didn't answer, but at least now I would be afforded some privacy even if they decided to use the key they had. I wasn't moving from this room anytime soon.

There was nothing. I had been looking for days and couldn't find a single damn thing! I was beyond frustrated and worried.

How many days had it been?

How many meals had I gone through...?

When would they decide a new video needed to be seen?

What would happen to Mello then?

What would I... what would I have to watch next? I went to tear my goggles off when a flash on the screen startled me.

But it wasn't the flash that caught my attention. Not quite.

I stared in disbelief as I paused and rewound the video. What I had previously wrote off as a mere flash of light, was actually the door opening. Selecting just the strip of light with my curser I enlarged and enhanced the image.

I pulled my goggles down and stared at the image. Someone had peered inside, fully cloaked, so I couldn't identify him. But my attention was focused on what was behind them.

It was a glimpse into the hallway, old but refined looking wallpaper, and a dark wood stand with a vase sitting precariously close to the edge. It wasn't the smoking gun I had been hoping for; like a sign that stated where they were...

But it was at least something.

I was grasping desperately at straws with this one, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help but hope this could lead to something. Even if was only the barest hint of where he was, it would be better than anything we had thus far.

I enhanced the snapshot even further and zoomed in. The previously fuzzy details were clear now. I felt ridiculous doing this, but the feel of the place screamed money to me.

Rubbing my tired eyes I placed the picture of the vase in a search engine. Perhaps I could get a list, of probably thousands, of buyers and we could at least have something to look for.

Why was time never on our side? Or luck for that matter?

Not even five minutes later the search chimed its ending and I blurrily looked at the results. It had to be wrong.

Sitting up straight, as straight as my aching back would allow, I redid the search twice more just to be sure. It came up the same. This was... well it was good.

The vase was worth millions of dollars, mainly because it was part of a collection. There were five identical vases in that collection, all worth the same amount. Two of the locations were listed as private, which with L wouldn't stay so for very long, one was in a collector’s museum of some sort. One had been broken, and one was reported stolen, which could be that vase, and that could be a problem.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath before replacing my goggles. I had a lead. I had found a lead.

However... was I in time?

But I had no delusions that I could do the next part on my own. I was too exhausted and analyzing and hacking were my specialties, not information gathering. Not that I couldn't do that, I wouldn't have been a detective otherwise, but I didn't trust myself with Mello. L could probably find out in under an hour whereas it would take me longer.

Every minute counted right now.

Gathering my laptop under one arm I quickly unlocked the door, after removing the chair, and was a little more than surprised to see Near staring up unblinkingly at me. He was holding a puzzle piece in one hand and playing with his hair with the other.

“Computer room now.” I stepped over him, not waiting for him to follow, and didn't bother to close my door. Near had been in the way at any rate.

“L, I found something.” L turned to look at me and I set my laptop next to him. “I had been stupidly ignoring something in the video until I paused it by accident.” I played the clip for him in slow motion and then zoomed in as I had done earlier.

“That vase, is one of five in the world.” I pulled up the rest of the information and gave it to him before slumping down in one of the swivel chairs.

“Good work.” L commented almost silently as he poured over the new data. Good work? No, good work would have been spotting this on the first day, not... whatever day it was now. I had let my emotions distract me, and I think we all knew whose fault it would be if something more were to happen to Mello.

I could hear when Near entered the room; his soft unsteady shuffles giving him away. He came and sat down on the floor between L and I. All he had brought with him were his finger puppets, all of them boring a strange resemblance to people we knew.

Near had been playing outside of my room, or more likely 'working' in that strange way of his. Had L sent him there? No... L might worry every once and a while but it is not something he would do, and he wouldn't have sent Near who is even more of a social recluse than L himself.

Did that mean Near had done this of his own accord?

I wasn't allowed much more time to think on this, as L's computer beeped noisily.

L had found both private addresses; one was at some senator’s house in Greenland while another was a location just off the coast of Spain. He was much quicker that I would have been...

“I have sent a few close contacts to check on the vases at those addresses as well as the one in the museum. Unlikely as the last one may be, it would be foolish not to check into it.” I nodded to him and blinked a few times; I felt like slapping myself to keep focus but that would undoubtedly be the wrong thing to do.

“We do not need the location of one of them as it was broken, and I am still working on the location of the one reported as stolen.”

There was nothing left to do other than wait. Wait for the last piece to fall into place. Wait for each location to be checked. And wait for any news...

I hated waiting.

I hadn't even noticed that Watari was in the room until he was handing L a cell phone, which L picked up like one would something dangerous. “Understood, thank you.” As usual I couldn't tell anything from L's tone of voice, which never changed unless needed.

“As I suspected there was nothing to be found at the museum.” I almost sighed in disappointment. “However, that was not what the call was about.” I looked up as he said this, even Near glanced up.

“That was my contact that I sent to Greenland. The senator’s house was checked thoroughly, as well as any nearby locations. There was nothing suspicious there.” that was two locations down...

Watari brought coffee, tea for L, later and I sipped absently at it, though what I really wanted was a cigarette. My stomach was unsettled and my nerves were shot to hell and I needed the nicotine to calm me.

I nearly jumped when the cell phone rang again.

The room was strangely silent, oppressive almost, and one could feel the tension. “See if you can find anything else.” L hung up and was quiet for a moment. Another miss than...

“My contact says that the Organization had been using the mansion off the coast of Spain, up until a day or two ago. They found the room Mello had been held in. Everything was gone.” I shut my eyes tightly at those words.

I had been too late.

If I had looked more closely at that damn flash the first day, or even the second, Mello would be here now. Instead he was at another location, god knows where, having to endure more torture from those disgusting excuses for human beings.

I had fucked up, on an epic scale.

“There was apparently a note left for us as well...” L's voice was steady, yet his posture was tense. “-as was the new video.”

I wasn't weak or emotional, by any means. Not normally. But this wasn't a normal situation.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, not caring if it was considered rude or whatever. It was either the cigarette or... well I’d rather not do the other in front of them.

“Well, let's see it.” I wasn't looking at any of them anymore, though I could feel their gazes on me. I was staring at the ceiling, watching the smoke swirl upwards. I felt strangely calm... or maybe I was just numb. Whatever it was I hoped it would stay, because I had a feeling this would not be a nice video.

Not at all.

-End Choler-

AN: Matt just didn't want to cooperate for this chapter..... I was really relieved once it ended, it was a fight just to get it this long. Geeze. But I have one chapter (maybe two) every fic that does this.

Also, on my fanfiction.net account, I posted ‘Dangerous and Moving’. It’s a three shot that takes place before WSF (NAA and JNRR) and it’s about how Matt met Mello, got into games, and got his first pair of goggles. Or at least my take on it for the WSF universe. ^_^