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Post-metiér Conversations	By : SuckUBusJ Category: Hellsing > General Views: 8965 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Disclaimer: don't
own crap... not even my wireless connection. He he.

I
got a letter.

And
the worst thing I could have done was read it before going to a
mission. I excused myself for today; said I was terribly sick. I
could not move. I felt as if the world had closed in on me.

Why
him? He had been nothing but a saint; my protector, my friend. I know
all I know thanks to him. It’s not fair. And I wasn’t
there. Why did he have to die like this?

It
was not a sickness. It was not an accident.

It
was the thing I am here fighting against.

I
hate them all, I hate them.

“The
Officer is sick, how sad…”

“…
leave me alone.”
I said aloud, absently, curled on the bed, in my uniform. I sniffled
until my head felt swollen.

“I
have to say I have missed you… your blood is just so
delicious…”

“…
leave... please...”
I whispered as tears kept running down my cheeks to the bed.

“You
haven’t been the only one spoiled, milady.”

“I
can't now... go away.” I didn’t even realize he was just
pushing the issue, since our agreement was off. I was not thinking
now.

“…
such a human
trait... I heard big girls don’t cry... I thought you were
above these things...”

“Alucard,
I'm warning you...”

“…
oh, you are?... this
is why you will not go to work?”

Silence.

“…
silence... hm...
nothing better for our self-aggrandizing therapy than thinking that
everything suddenly stops because of a little… predicament.”

I
jumped out of bed, took my gun in my hand and walked out the room,
hair flying in all directions. My eyes were burning with tears of
anger, my head going from one side to the other looking for him.

And
then I saw him

I
almost ran toward the vampire. He was standing against the wall, his
arms crossed and his head low.

I
cocked my gun.

I
put it under his chin.

And
buried it there; in that hollow past the bone toward the throat and
raised his head with it.

“You
can read my thoughts fucking idiot, you know I'm not sick--what is
your fucking problem...”

“Why
are you so mad at me? It was not I who killed him...”

“But
it is YOU who mocks me and is egocentric enough to come asking for
blood right now!”

“Oh?
I am egocentric? So my hunger can wait because milady has a ...
problem?”

“This
is NOT a problem...” I said making his head bump against the
wall behind him. “... to not be able to pay one's bill is a
problem... having the safety stuck on your gun is a problem...
spilling a coke on the floor is a problem... I just lost the only
person I can call family in this world and you call this a problem? A
fucking monster like you did this! How dare you call this a
problem--.” A sob made me choke on my own saliva. I had to
recover my breath. “… the only problem I have is you
right now.”

“How
dare I? ... and how dare you call my problems smaller than yours?”

“THIS
IS NOT A PROBLEM!!!”

“Will
shooting me make you feel better? Is that it?”

“Maybe.”

“Shoot
me then... avenge his death.”

“Don't
tempt me.”

“Do
it.”

“Shut
up...”

“Yes!
Shoot me! You have silver bullets! It is all it takes! I did not kill
him but... shoot me! That will work of course.”

“You
mock me--you are a monster!!!”

“Yes...
just like the one that killed--.”

I
slapped him.

Silence.

I
slapped him again.

“Third
one is always a charm... you might bring him back if you put enough
strength--.”

I
slapped him twice.

I
began to cry again. I stared at a button on his shirt and cried. My
shoulders shook and my legs began to fail me. I covered my face with
both hands and swayed forward, my forehead landing on his chest. I
didn't back away. I sobbed into my hands leaning against the
creature, his body stiff and cold and hard. He didn't move to comfort
me, or push me away after I had repeatedly slapped him and put a gun
to his head. He just stayed there. And I just cried my eyes out.

I
felt his hand taking the gun away from my hand. It was almost buried
on my eyebrow by now. He whispered something like... 'you don't want
to accidentally shoot yourself do you?' ... but that was it. Still he
wouldn't move.

After
a lot of crying I stood on my feet again and calmed myself down. He
gave me back my gun and I looked up at him, his face straight and
emotionless. I sniffled and sighed as I prepared to speak.

“I
think we agreed this was over.”

Silence.

I
saw how his head snapped toward the stairs and suddenly disappeared.
I heard footsteps coming closer.

“Clay?”
I said my voice carried a spark of emotion.

“…
are you crying--what is
it?”

I
didn't answer him I just walked to him and he opened his arms to me.
I started to cry again into his shoulder as his hands rubbed my back.
God I needed this.

He
didn't ask any questions. Just let me cry into his shoulder for a
while. His hands caressed me, comforting, in the sweetest way.

“Let's
go inside...” He whispered into my ear as we walked inside my
room. He closed the door behind us and I walked to the bed.

He
sat beside me and gave me another hug. I told him about what had
happened; about the letter, about my Sifu being killed by vampires.

How
I didn't have anyone else.

How
I have trained with him all my life. And now he was gone.

He
crawled up my bed, boots off, taking off his dirty shirt from the
mission, a white beater under it. I crawled to him and rested on his
chest, trying to calm down. I curled into his arms, feeling so small.
No one said a word.

“are
you cold? You have goose bumps--.”

“I'm
ok, really...” I said into his shirt, knowing this reaction
well. He was here. Why, I didn't care.

Slowly,
I started to feel very very tired. I couldn’t keep my eyelids
open anymore. So slowly, with his hands caressing my back... I fell
asleep.

But
sleep didn’t last for long.

Clay
is behind me, his body spooned with mine. His arms are around me, in
such a nice warm embrace. He's asleep. It is almost dawning.

And
I can feel the vampire in here too.

“Why
are you still here.”

Silence.

“I
know you're here...”

No
reply.

“Is
it blood you want? I will give it to you then…”

Nothing.

“…
no? Then... why are
you here...”

Silence.

“Fine.”

I
closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I tried to ignore his
presence and relax into Clay’s embrace.

“Dying...
is not so bad...” I felt that tickle in my brain.

“Hmm?”

“It
is quite... peaceful...”

“…
really?”

“Yes...”

“How
painful is it before dying?”

“I
don't seem to recall that pain exactly…”

“Tell
me what you remember...”

“I
remember coldness... something cold starting at my head and slowly
reaching my toes... I remembered, dear memories; your life does flash
before your eyes... as cliché as it sounds...”

“Go
on.”

“…
I began to feel
everything far away... sounds left me slowly... my fingers tingled
and my eyes felt stiff... I couldn’t look around, I couldn’t
control them... they just slowly, very slowly, started to unfocus on
their own... I remember fearing what was coming next...”

Silence.

“…
then the only sound
I could hear was the beating of my heart... and the only thing I
could feel, was the beating of my heart... I could even see it and
smell it... taste it... it was just my heart... so I clung to it...
realized how important it was all my life... how it was always there
but never really paid attention to it, unless I was--.” He
trailed off. “... but then, as the beating became slower and
slower, again I feared... but this time, for its absence...”

Tears
fall down my cheeks.

“Then...
silence. No cold, no ticklish sensation, no noise, no heart, no
light, no smells, no tastes... it's a vast nothingness... so I said
to myself... 'this is not so bad...'” He stopped again. “...
Peace. Dying is peace. You fear the ultimate unknown which is death,
but not because it is bad. You just don't know what it is. And I am
telling you. It is not bad... not bad at all...”

Tears
came down my cheeks more and more but now a smile stretched on my
face. It stretched naturally. I didn't even realize it after some
time.

“I'm
glad he is ok, then.”

Silence.

“Thank
you... I think something like this is the only thing that could make
everything better.”

Silence.

“Come
here... you want blood…”

Silence.

“…
please...”

I
saw him appear, sitting on the floor beside my bed, his back toward
me a little. He looked my way, his hat and glasses off. I slowly
rested on my elbows, trying not to wake up Clay and put my finger on
his lips. But he didn’t open them.

My
hand moved to his hair, his eyes looking at my hand attentively. I
tenderly brushed it back. His hair is so soft. He didn't do anything
or say anything about this gesture of mine. But the truth is... he
had told me what anyone who has lost someone wants to hear.

And
then he disappeared, my hand feeling a thousand feathers caressing it
as he vanished. I rested again in between Clay’s arms and tried
to sleep.

But
I could still feel him in my room.

I
woke up to a weight on half my body. I was still dressed I could
feel, even my boots were still on. And here was Clay, asleep beside
me. I looked at him; still dressed.

He
stayed with me. How sweet.

It
is early I can tell. The clock tells me its morning.

I
softly caressed his face; he's so damn good looking. And sweet as a
man can be. And he is after me. This stupidity ends right now. What
the hell am I thinking...

I
leaned softly and kissed his lips. They trembled a bit, feeling
something against them. I smiled. He didn’t move. I leaned over
and kissed him again, this time licking delicately his closed lips...
until they began to move. He is waking up I can tell, because I felt
his hand on my back, bringing me over him. I chuckled into his lips
and he breathed in, a deep deep breath.

“Am
I dreaming?” He whispers.

“No...”
I whisper back.

“Is
it you?”

“...
yeah...”

“...
good, good...”

I
chuckled against his lips again as we kissed, my body landing on his,
getting comfortable by straddling his legs. To some point, it is
weird to feel his warmth. I am more used to the vampire's coolness.
But I guess this is the normal thing...

Things
began to feel heated. As my hands started traveling under his shirt,
and I happened to admire his nicely rippled abs, his were already
bringing my skirt up and caressing me all the way up to my upper
back. He was being very bold now! This is good! I thought I would go
through the same making out session as always.

I
knew my skirt was very tricky so I reached for the zipper and undid
it. When I did I went back to him. In no time, our first layers of
clothing were gone. Our lips again met and got lost in a long long
kiss. It was all looking good, though I have to be honest; I had been
spoiled by the vampire. And there was something... missing. I felt
weird realizing this. But there was something that—no, no I
can't even think that.

STOP
COMPARING! This is a nice guy. C'mon! Geez I'm such an idiot...

I
didn't realize I was on my back now, and he was kissing and groping
my body. As I arched to him to feel our naked upper bodies against
each other I felt a slight tickle in my brain, which was a bit
overridden by his hand swiftly making my thong slide down my legs and
away from my body.

“...
milady...”

I
ignored the very well known 'term of endearment' used by the monster
and hooked my toe to his boxer briefs and pulled them down. Just in
anticipation I was getting more and more aroused. He came down to me
as we were both completely naked and kissed me forcefully but never
in a bad way... again my legs turned into binds and he seemed to
like it.

“What
is this perfidious act, milady...”

I
opened my eyes. I didn't like his tone. It sounded... tense. I tried
to ignore it and did, as I felt Clay’s erection rub up and down
my entrance, trying to get inside. I didn't tell him it was my first;
maybe I should have? It was too late now. I just had to see how this
was going to end.

“I
have been betrayed...”

I
opened my eyes again, a moan almost disintegrating inside my throat
as I heard this last word. What is he talking about? Is he here?

Clay
stopped moving and raised his upper body with his arms. He looked
away and frowned. Maybe he felt him too. Goddamn vampire!

“I-I
need to go...” He said suddenly, his face looking thoughtful.

“...
g-go?! What do you--.”

“Yeah,
I have to--, I dunno there's something I have to do...”

“What?!”

“I'm
sorry, I forgot... I'm very sorry...”

“No--no
wait...” I said as I knelt when I saw him almost jump out of
my bed and start to get dressed. “... Tell me what is it you
have to do...”

“...
uh-- I-- I dunno, but I do have to go... those things happen to
me--.” He had his jeans on already.

“Think
and try to remember if you really have to go...”

“Yes...
I'm very sure.”

“No…
no there's something too weird...” He was pulling down his
shirt.

“I'm
sorry luv, I'll come back once I'm done ok? I promise...”

“...
damn you, fucking monster...” I whispered, wanting to behead
someone.

“What?”

“No...
no, never mind... go we'll talk later...”

“Please
don't be upset--I really have to go...”

“Go
on, we'll talk later I'm not mad at you...”

“Ok...”
He came over to kiss me but I turned away. “... you are
mad.”

“No,
I'm just-- we'll talk later...” I said and began to put my
underwear on.

“Ok....”
He sounded sad.

And
he was out of my room.

I
put my bra on finally and looked around.

Where
the fuck are you goddamn daemon.

My
patience had reached its limit. I waited until I could not listen
anymore to Clay's footsteps when I started to breathe erratically and
looking around.

“Come
out... who the fucking hell do you think you are?!”

But
my anger turned into panic as I felt a cold hand wrap itself strongly
around my neck from behind. I felt that hand pushing me forcefully
against the wall and rapidly turning me around.

It
was Alucard.

And
he didn't look very happy.

“It
was you who made him leave-- what the hell is wrong with you!”
I tried to be proud and strong but his eyes didn't look like always;
they were bigger in size and a sea of changing tones of red; from
burgundy to bright red. I gulped as I saw him move closer. His palms
rested at the sides of my face against the wall.

“...
You have betrayed me...” He whispered into my ear at the same
time that the rest of his clothed body came in contact with mine.

“Wha--”

“You
don't seem to understand...” He purred rubbing his nose
against my cheek. “... you are mine...”

“Alucard--.”
I was not angry anymore, more like terrified. He was being delicate,
but he felt tense; he felt dangerously angry.

“Every
part of your body—every little crevice or wound-- the blood
that runs through your veins... mine... no one will spoil you,
if it is not me...”

“...
spoil--?”

“...
you say that night was the last time... but I doubt it is your
will... you want it too...” He seemed in some kind of... daze.

“What
are you talking about Alucard...” I spoke sweetly trying to
soothe him. He looked about to snap. Or snap my neck.

“...
eventually, you will become a part of me... and then I would give you
what you want... but only then...”

I
reached for him slowly, not wanting him to think that any movement
from me was a dangerous one. My hand landed softly on his arm and as
I thought, when I did, he reacted as if he wasn't expecting it.

But
finally I understood what was happening.

He
wanted to keep me a virgin. He wanted my virgin blood.

He
wanted to make me a vampire. I remembered that time at the balcony.

And
in all this, he got the strange idea that I was his.

“...
Concern to a monster smells so... extraneous at first...
exotic...” He kept rubbing his face, sans hat and glasses,
against mine, softly, still in that daze. “I'm intoxicated with
it now... addicted... and I will not find it anywhere else, I know
this...”

“Aluc--.”

“Oh
that night... remember the balcony... I was more than intoxicated...
it was a good thing you sent me away... because I would not have been
able to restrain myself... or that time in the car... again that
night... I would have made mad love to you all night--.”

I
am shaking like a leaf... he sounds so not like him.

“Why
have you betrayed me?” His tone changed to a controlled and
tense one.

“I-I...”
I wanted to cry.

“If
I hadn't intervened, you would be--.”

“Please
don't hurt me.” I whispered, tears came down my eyes, as I
realized that pieces of paint covering the wall behind me where
falling on my shoulders; paint that used to be under his angered
fingers.

“No...
no... I can't hurt you, my dear...” His mouth went back to my
ear... a soft kiss. “... even if I could, I would not hurt
you...”

“I
didn't betray you.”

“Yes
you did...” His tone was back to that dangerously calmed one.

“I
didn't know any of this...”

“Yes
you did...”

“No,
I didn't.” My voice was regaining strength.

“You
were acting in revenge for what you saw in my chambers.”

“Alucard...
I am not yours... or any of the like...” I prepared for the
worse.

His
face quickly was in front of mine and cocked a bit to the side.

“Yes
you are...”

“No
I'm not...”

“Yes
you are!”

“No!!!”

He
slowly came closer to me, rage in his eyes.

“I
will not loose you to a human, do you hear me--.”

“This
has nothing to do with him--.”

“--if
it is not a god or the like, I will not desist--.”

“I
am nobody's!! I am my own person I don't belong to anyone and I don't
know what made you thi--.”

He
hissed at me.

And
a sob escaped my lips.

“...
you are afraid of me?” He asked half in shock and the other
half in realization.

“Can
you blame me?”

I
began to breathe in shaky breaths and gulped more tears.

“Get
out of my room now...” I almost whispered.

“He
will come back.”

“...
Get. Out...” I had to remember his seals and that he couldn't
hurt me, but I was too scared. “... Start with backing away
from me right now.”

He
growled softly.

“I
want to be alone right now, vampire. I mean it...” But my tone
was as weak as it could get and be audible still.

He
slowly backed away from the wall and from me. His face was still
straight, almost no expression. I slid down the wall, my butt hitting
the floor.

He
disappeared after a few seconds.

What the fuck did I get
myself into...

Ok,
this is to whoever thought he was acting too civilized and nice.
Scary Alucard really makes my day. I guess I'm just weird.

To
Michael:

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA....
you can stay if you want... but bring beer with you...

HAHAHHAH...
don't worry we all need help... HAHAHAHHA... can't remember why was I
laughing in the first place. Thanx for the review!

Thanx
for the reviews. Am I updating too fast? Let me know.
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