I Believe in Happy Endings

Disclaimer: ~ YES I OWN GRAVITATION!!......only in my dreams T____T no I don\'t own Gravitation in reality…..so sad T^T ( I wonder if I can stop putting this…)

I stood in front of my house for a long time. It seemed ages since I\'d been there. The memories of objects and faces beyond that front door were fuzzy in my mind. I felt foreign there, like a stranger. I could hear the sounds of the DV leaking through the open window of the living room. After struggling for a moment trying to decide whether or not I should just walk through the door, I finally just rang the doorbell.

I heard a shout as my father\'s voice yelled, “I\'ll get it.”

I ran one ringed hand quickly though my long hair, clearing my throat nervously. The door opened. I paused, unsure, and at last managed, “Hi.”

“…can I help you?”

I stared at him in shock. “Dad…don\'t you recognize me?”

“Honey, who is it?” my mother\'s face popped up behind him. “—Shuichi! Shuichi! It\'s Shuichi!”

I suddenly found myself in her welcoming arms. I felt my eyes burning and squeezed them tight to make them stop. I couldn\'t let them see me cry—not now. I hadn\'t thought of them since I\'d left; now I realized I\'d missed them all the same, especially mother.

Soon they had all crowded around me. My mother\'s eyes were shining with tears as though she might be sad, but her face was beaming happiness. K was eying my outfit enviously. My father standing a little off, and whether he was embarrassed of himself or me, I couldn\'t tell.

Suguru was fingering my new piercings with a look of disgust on his face. “That\'s too many! Geez, little bro….you look like a fag.”

I saw Hiro and Sakano look at each other with something akin to worry for an instant before my attention was ripped away by the sound of a loud *SMACK*. Mother had slapped Suguru across the face. (A/N: @___@ ouch…)

Everyone froze. We all seemed shocked, even Mother, but her eyes were blazing with anger. “Don\'t speak that way to your brother. How long has it been since you\'ve seen him? What\'s the matter with you?!”

Suguru was trying desperately hard not to cry. “It\'s not like he\'s coming home after a decade of war, Mom! He\'s only been gone for eight weeks visiting his queer boyfriend in Tokyo!”

“That\'s enough!!!” This time Hiro was the one shouting. He threw his arms around me affectionately. “It\'s good to see you, bro.”

That night I ate dinner with my family for the first time in months. I was used to eating with another family or just alone with Yuki in his room. At the thought of my love, I felt a familiar bang in my heart. It wasn\'t a lonely hurt; it was the knowledge of his love waiting for my return. Should I hurry back to him? Perhaps it would be wrong to rush this, but my longing for Yuki would only get stronger as the days wore on, I knew it.

Hiro was staring at me, his eyes full of unspoken concern I realized that I was toying with my engagement ring, a funny little secret smile playing on my lips. I quickly folded my hands into my lap as Mother set the table.

All through dinner, Mother and Sakano asked polite questions about the city. I went into lavish detail about the movie theater and the few shops I\'d been in, feeling like a stranger in the house, and realizing at the same time that I hadn\'t seen much of the city at all. But I couldn\'t bloody well spend all that time describing Yuki\'s bed, can I now?!

Hiro and K listened eagerly, but my Father and Suguru were coldly silent, staring into either their plates or at me with suspicious eyes. All in all, I didn\'t enjoy the dinner. It wasn\'t like old times, and I knew it never would be, despite my poor Mother\'s earnest attempts to make it so.

That night I had trouble sleeping. I felt all that much more a visitor when I found out that my sparse belongings had been moved into the usually empty guest room. Fine with me. The farther from Suguru, the better. My bed seemed so small, cold, empty…

About an hour or so after everyone else had retired, I heard a very light knock on my door, and someone entered. I didn\'t stir as I watched the shadowy form approach, and at last it sat down on the edge of my mattress. A hand touched my shoulder.

“Shuichi?” it was Hiro.

“I\'m awake.”

His hand tightened into a loving squeeze, and he laid his head down on my chest. “You smell like strawberries.”

We stayed like that for a while. I knew how he felt, and I knew long before he said anything that…he knew.

“It\'s true, isn\'t it?” he mumbled into my nightshirt. “You…and Yuki…”

I held him to me and ran my hand through his soft hair. “We\'re engaged.”

He sat up slowly, looking down at me. “I thought so.”

“Should I tell Mom and Dad?”

“No. Not yet. We\'re all so glad to see you back, but…I—I know you\'re only here to visit.”

Yes, he knew, all right. He knew everything. “Are you…does this….upset you?”

“No.” Honest. Straightforward. “I\'ve known for a long time, I think. Probably before you even did.”

I sighed with relief. He was making it so easy on me, and I was grateful. I took his hand in mine and held it tight. He squeezed my hand back. “Tell me about him.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything!” he laughed. “I have to know everything about the person my brother\'s going to marry! What did you two do together while you were in Tokyo?”

I hesitated.

“..Besides that.” He laughed again.

I smiled happily and sat up to face him. I told him everything we did together downtown, what little there was to tell, and described the beauty of the city. I told him about Yuki\'s family and home, and Hiro was impressed. I tired to explain things in a way that wouldn\'t downgrade our own home, but it was hard. He didn\'t take it offensively though, and asked lots of questions.

Hiro and I made such a discussions a nightly game over the next week and a half. I fell back into my old routine of doing household chores. I ate my meals and conversed with the rest of the family, impatient for Hiro to get home from work and for the night to fall. Every evening, after everyone else had gone to bed, I would lie in wait for my brother to come. It wasn\'t until two weeks had passed before he finally asked me about sex. And even then, at first I wasn\'t sure I heard him right.

“The night of Seung Bon Nung….Did the two of you…?”

“No…we made out {God! It seems so strange to be saying this to him!} in an abandoned car in this parking garage, then I guess I passed out. I don\'t remember anything else about that night.”

“Then when did you…”

I finally told him about the Playstation, and how terribly afraid I\'d been afterwards. He nodded sympathetically. Then I told him how I went to Yuki, and made love to him for the first time. And every night thereafter. And I told him about the last time. I cried. Of course I skipped the part of the rape; I wouldn\'t want to shock Hiro.

“You should go back to him soon,” he said rationally. “He\'s probably just as lonely as you are.”

“Then I\'ll have to tell them soon…wont I, Hiro?”

“I\'ll be with you. I\'ll help you.”

“No,” I sighed. “It\'s something I have to do own my own.”

The following evening, when I thought everyone had gone to bed, I felt too hot to sleep. I knew it was mostly my nerves, but…still, I couldn\'t rest. So I tiptoed to the kitchen for a drink of water. I was surprised to hear my parents\' voices. Why aren\'t they in bed yet?

“Be fair, darling. He\'s your son!”

“Is he?! I barely recognized him. Did you see what that rich kid\'s done to him? He used to an easy life, now; he\'s ruined. Hiro should have known better than to et him go off by himself in the city like that.”

I figured it was a bad time to get a drink, so I backed away instead. But I rammed into something. Spinning around, I came face to face with Hiro. He ed me back to my room, closing the door softly behind us.

“Sorry” he whispered.

I shrugged. “It\'s okay. I really should be getting back soon, anyway. I…I need him.”

“I know.” He turned on my lamp, and we blinked in the sudden brightness. “I\'ll help you pack.”

Hiro slept in my room that night. We talked for a while. He knew Father didn\'t approve of my friendship with a rich boy, but to know the seriousness of our feelings….

We fell asleep together on my bed long after midnight.

We had an early dinner that following evening. Hiro and I chattered away, giggling like we were nuts. I was almost giddy. We seemed to picture the perfect happiness, but we both knew our nerves were taut, ready to snap. Dad looked at me warily. Suguru avoided my eyes completely. K and Sakano kept staring at each other with suspicious eyes.

At last the meal ended and I asked everyone to go with me into the living room for an announcement. I tried to judge their moods—apprehensive? Worried? Frightened?—and nothing good came to mind. How could I break it to them? They gathered around, impatient for the news. Hiro gave my shoulder a firm, encouraging squeeze before sitting off in the corner by himself. He was going to let me do this on my own, but was there to support me in case I needed him. I cleared my throat and began.

“There\'s something I have to tell you all about Yuki. Please understand; I want to say ahead of time that this isn\'t his fault. I don\'t want anyone blaming him for the things I\'ve done, or for the way I am.”

“My God, Shuichi; what\'s happened?” Sakano asked concernedly.

“Nothing; nothing bad---I don\'t think. You\'ll all have to decide for yourselves. But please let me explain.”

“I think you\'d better.” It was my father\'s voice who interrupted.

Oh shit; he\'s angry already. Why is this so hard? I\'ve rehearsed this for a week. They\'re my family. There\'s no reason to fear them. They\'ll…understand…won\'t they?

“There\'s ….there\'s something I have to tell you. About Yuki.” I cleared my throat. “About Yuki and myself, I mean.”

Suguru interrupted before I could finish shouting and jumping to his feet. “Just like I thought! I knew that guy was a queer from the moment I saw him. That\'s it, isn\'t it? You\'re coming out of the closet. You and Yuki are fags!”
“Suguru…” Hiro growled threateningly.

Mother let out a small, nervous laugh. “Don\'t be silly, Suguru.” She said in a thin, high-pitched tone. “You know that\'s not true. It just can\'t be true.” She sounded more than a little worried, very unsure of her words. “Shuichi…tell him, Shuichi…” she looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. But she knew. I knew she knew.

“Mother….I….”

“Don\'t you get it?!” Suguru screamed. “You just don\'t want to believe your precious little baby is gay!”

“Shuichi…”she was crying now, begging me.

I couldn\'t stop now. No matter how much it hurt her, or myself. No matter how it hurt all of us; I had to finish what I\'d started. “Yuki…Yuki and I are engaged.”

A general riot started right then. Everyone was on their feet and shouting—at each other, at me.

“We—we\'re going to get married. I\'m sorry; I\'m going to go this with or without your approval. I love him!”

At that moment, the world stood still. One loud *SMACK* --- then everything stopped--- the noise, the shouting and crying all came to an end. Dad was standing in front of me, shaking with rage, his eyes ablaze in fury. It took almost a full minute for my mind to register what had happened. But the trickle of blood at the corner of my mouth made it all too clear: my father had slapped me. For the first time in my life, Dad had hit me.

Why did he…? Why don\'t they understand? Hadn\'t I made it clear? Can\'t they accept me for what I am?

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!”

“Honey…”

“Shut up!”

I was suddenly angry. I\'d never heard anyone speak to Mother that way. I wasn\'t about to let anyone do it now, especially not because of me. “Dad, stop it. Don\'t you get it? Yuki and I love each other.”

“No, you can\'t…”

“I love him!”

“How DARE YOU!” he snarled, an inch fro my face. “How dare you bring this trash---this filth into my house!”

I wasn\'t sure what he meant. My clothes, my earrings, my ideals…who knows? I\'d never seen him so angry. I was frightened, but I\'d gone much too far to back out now. I held up my hand in desperation, flashing them all my ring. “We are in love. This is my proof. No matter what you say, I will marry him.”

The world went dark for an instant, and I spiraled down its black hole form the impact of my father\'s fist on the side of my head. My vision cleared quickly, however. I heard my mother shriek, then Hiro\'s arms were around her, catching her and trying to calm her down. She was screaming, over and over, “He\'s your son! He\'s your son! He\'s your son! He\'s you...”

“That” he spat, pointing at me, “IS NOT MY SON!!!” He turned on me again. “Get out! Get the fuck out of my house, whoever you are!” He started toward me, but after all that, I refused to back away.

“I am your son. Whether you want to admit it or not, I am you son!”

“You should have been a daughter!” Suguru\'s voice yelled out over my mother\'s wailing. He rammed into me, knocking me out the front door. We wrestled, though I wasn\'t raying to hurt him, only to get him off me. He pushed me off the porch and onto the ground. He kicked me repeatedly in the side until I was coughing with ragged breaths and seeing stars. I crawled onto my knees and looked up to see Hiro hand Mother over to Sakano, and then he was at my side in the next instant, helping me to my feet.

My head was reeling as he pressed a wad of bills in my hand. “Go.” He said hurriedly. “Get back to Tokyo as fast as you can. Don\'t worry; I\'ll bring your things to you soon. That coffee shop down the block from the motel where we stayed…Meet me there at noon, the day after tomorrow. I\'ll bring your things. Can you walk?” He stepped back to inspect me. Satisfied that I was at least ambulatory, he threw his arms around me for a last hug. He kissed my head. “I love you. See you in a couple of days, okay, bro?”


I don\'t know how I ever found my way back to Yuki\'s house, but soon I was home. Tatsuha greeted me at the door.

“My God! Shuichi! What on earth happened to you?”

I was a bloody, dirty mess, and babbling incoherently. He took me upstairs to the bathroom, speaking to me slowly and calmly, explaining that Yuki wasn\'t home and generally trying to calm me while he prepared my bath water. He undressed me, then helped lower me down into the steamy, bubbling water. He washed me himself with that yummy strawberry soap, tenderly cleaning my wounds. He was especially gentle with my bruised side.

“Oh Shu-chan…who could have done such a thing?” His fingers lightly touched the lump of my head, as he inspected my other injuries. He touched my lips with his fingertips, frowning worriedly. “You beautiful mouth…” I knew how swollen it was. It really hurt but a moment later he was massaging it gently with his own soft lips. The hurt was gone. I moaned, low in my throat, needing this comfort. It had been too long, and I was thirsty for such a touch.

Tatsuha\'s hand clasped my shoulder, pulling me towards him, his tongue somehow slipping between my teeth to seek out my own. There was a strange, delicious flavor to his kiss that was very different from Yuki\'s, exotic but not nearly so sweet. I knew I\'d never want anyone else. Not that way.

“N—no.” I murmured against him, pushing him gently, but forcefully, away from me.

He let me shove away from him, but as he gripped the edge of the tub, his eyes remained clouded with lust. He was breathing unevenly. Suddenly his body shuddered, and he hung his head apologetically. “Shuichi…I\'m sorry…I…” He shook his head as though to clear it. “I\'ll let you finish. Sorry.”

Tatsuha stood to leave, but stopped.

Standing there in the doorway, with a bank expression on his face, stood Yuki.