Rise and Fall of Kira

Disclaimer–I do not own Death note. If I did, the stories would be way more suggestive, if you know what I mean. ;)

Warning– Not much to warn you about this chapter…There might be some mild angst here, but that’s about it. Oh yeah, I’m going to borrow elements from the Anime now.

I also may have to repeat that I don’t have a beta-reader… so some parts may be not as refined as I’d like it to be. Some parts might get a little erratic as I jump from person to person in points of views. That aside, I hope that you will continue to enjoy the plot that I’m weaving now!
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L was in shock, and also somewhat depressed now. He had been so sure of what Light (Kira) had been planning… And now this happened! Light was constantly finding new ways to surprise him, that was for sure.

Light and Misa had apparently lost their memories of the past events that had happened. It wasn’t total amenisa, though… they still remembered certain parts. That was what made all the more baffling though.

At first L couldn’t believe it at all, and decided to set up a ruse of his own in order to test them. He had Mr. Yagami drive them out of the building to a secluded spot and pretend to kill them. He did this because he was so sure that one of them would somehow use their mysterious deadly ability to save themselves. But nothing happened…

He had nothing now. All the clues and information he had so far had pointed to Yagami Light and nothing else. All of this had hinged on Light being Kira. And now…he would have to start all over again. Back to square one.

Although he still had some theory left which might explain Light’s mysterious change. But the Theory he had so far, it was still far too depressing for him to accept. The Theory: Kira has the ability to Jump from body to body, and erases most of the memories that’s related to him as he leaves. But if that was true… how could he catch Kira? How could a creature like that be put on Death Row?

It would mean that he would be toyed with forever, or until Kira finally killed him. And everything he ever did would be completely meaningless.

L bit his thumb, his teeth grinding on the skin surface as he thought frantically about some other possible means which he could salvage such a hopeless situation. He didn’t notice that his teeth had actually broken the skin, and that the area there was completely red and swollen from the abuse of his habit. He was too lost in his thoughts and his depression to notice the self-inflicted pain.

“ L, what are you doing? ” Light’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up to see Light staring at him with mild concern. Light pulled L’s hand away from his mouth, and looked at the injured thumb. “You really do need to break that bad habit… your thumb’s bleeding. What were you thinking so hard about, anyway? We’ve been calling your name for the last few minutes.”

It was then L realized that the others in the room was staring at him. He let out a loud sigh, and then relayed to the others on what he had been thinking about.

When he was finished explaining, Light just shook his head in disbelief.

Light then said, “I can’t believe you would even entertain such a possibility. If it was true that Kira was something that jumped from body to body… then that would mean that everything we’ve done was meaningless! I refuse to believe in that possibility. There’s got to be some kind of rational explanation for how Kira’s doing it besides relying on the supernatural. Once we find that explanation we can catch him!”

L felt slightly better at hearing this even though he was still depressed. He nodded solemnly and replied: “ I hope you’re right, Light-kun. But the fact still stands that we’re now back to square one… And without any clues on who Kira might be, I don’t think I can do anything at this point… ”

L then looked downcast upon his table of sweets, and picked up a truffle. He chewed on it, slowly, and gazed off into empty space with a empty look in his eyes.

Light sighed. It seemed like it was hopeless to even try to cheer up L, so He might as well as get back to work.

The others in the room just glanced at each other, and got back to work too as well.
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When it came for them to retire for the night, L wasn’t still any better than he was during the day. He followed behind Light in a listless manner, which troubled and annoyed Light at the same time.

He was also in a slightly sour mood from earlier, which didn’t help. Light had wondered aloud earlier in the day after that little topic on L’s depression about how L actually seemed to *WANT* Light to be Kira. L of course admitted to this after mulling it over. that caused a rather physical fight between the two much to the entire group’s dismay.

“ I do wish you would snap out of it. You’re starting to worry all of us. How are we supposed to catch Kira together if you’re like this? ” Light couldn’t help but comment.

“ I… didn’t realize Light-kun was so concerned about me. ” L mumbled, but he still said it loud enough for Light to hear.

Light just sighed as he rubbed the sore spot on his left cheek, where L had decked him earlier.

L of course noticed this, as he trailed behind the young man. ‘So you still feel angry from earlier…’ he simply thought.

Light then answered. “ Of course I’m concerned! You know how much I want to catch Kira so badly… and how am I supposed to do that when one of the most important people in the group isn’t at his best? ”

L nodded as he put a finger upon his lips, even though Light couldn’t see him. “ Yes… I understand. ”

As the two entered the bedroom they were now about to share together, Light suddenly whirled around upon L.

L stiffened, expecting another punch to come his way. Instead, he found himself being held by the shoulders as Light stared at him with what appeared to be genuine mixed emotion composed of hurt, concern and annoyance.

“ What will it take to get you motivated again?? I can’t stand the fact that you’re still suspecting me of Kira… Why can’t you let that go and move on? Weren’t you the one who once told everyone that you considered us friends? Or… was that just an act to get closer to somebody who you thought was Kira? I want to know…”

L blinked, staring in interest before this new light. This was certainly the first time he had seen such genuine emotion displayed so vulnerably on the young man’s face. Well, aside from that time in the cell… Of course there was a %10 chance that it was all an clever, well-done act.
Then on the other hand, If Light truly forgot being Kira as he suspected… this could very well be the real thing. So he owned the truth to this version of Light, at least.

“It’s true that I did consider Light-kun to be my friend. To tell you the truth… you’re the first person who I feel I can talk to upon equal terms. I don’t have to slow down so you can keep up. In fact… I find that you challenge me constantly. I’m the one who has to race quickly, metaphorically speaking, in order to keep up with somebody for a change. it’s actually quite refreshing. I also find our conversations quite simulating, and that’s why I’ve developed a sort of fondness for you. Of course… I don’t expect you to share the same feelings for me in return.”

Light’s eyes widened, and then softened slightly as L explained it all rather bluntly and honestly. However some of that hurt and annoyance still remained. “ If you feel that strongly for me… then why the constant need to paint me as the enemy? ”

L simply put his hands into his pockets, slumping down even more slightly. “ As an good detective, I must never let my personal feelings get in the way. Also… I admit to using the premise of our… friendship… to test whenever you were Kira. So while some of my feelings were genuine, I did use this fact to get closer to an enemy. ”

Light stiffened at those words, removing his hands from L’s shoulders almost instantly. L couldn’t help but think this reaction interesting. So Light did share some of the same feelings after all…? He couldn’t help but mentally smile at the thought.

However, Light wasn’t quite as pleased. His next words were hard and cold-sounding. “ It’s getting late. I think I better just take a shower and go to bed now. ”

“I’ll call Watari. He can remove the handcuffs so you can easily remove your clothes, then.” L replied in his usual monotone voice.

Light looked somewhat disturbed by this. Having L in the same room as him was bad enough when he disrobed, but Watari too? L was basically around the same age as him (or so at least he guessed), but having a elderly man see him naked…
It just gave him the creeps the more he thought about it. Of course he knew he had a habit of looking too deeply into situations such as this one sometimes, but he didn’t care. This was just so wrong on so many levels. He was putting his foot down!

“ L…Ah, that is, Ryuzaki … ” Light almost stumbled over L’s chosen nickname much to his embarrassment. He was just too used To thinking of L as only L, he supposed.

“ It’s okay if you want to call me L in private. I only ask you to use that name when we’re in the group or in public. Now what is it? ” L simply said, as he dialed on the phone to summon Watari.

“ Do we have to depend on such a system? We could still be together even without the handcuffs… It just seems so needlessly complicated… ” Light pointed out, realizing how they would have to go though this every night until his name was cleared.

L sighed. “ Do I have to really explain this to you again? ”

Light shook his head. “No, I understood you the first time you explained the handcuffs… That’s just… I didn’t think about… well, This. Do Watari have to be in the same room as us when I change? I mean it’s bad enough with you watching as it is…”

L just stared at Light with mild interest. “Light-kun seems oddly insecure about his own body… What is it about your body that you wish to hide so much? ”

Light felt his annoyance flare up again. “I’m not insecure about my body. I happen to think that I have a good-looking body. I just don’t like having people seeing me when I change out of my clothes… ”

L finished phoning watari, and then turned to face Light again. He put his finger to his lips once again, sucking the tip of it. He seemed to be considering Light’s words as he replied: “No matter how you say it, it still sounds like words of a insecure boy. I find this to be very interesting, considering that you were once captain of the tennis club. Being the captain, You would have to share a locker room with other male members of the tennis club when you change into and out of your uniform… So surely many males saw you in various states of undress before.”

“ That. Was. A. Different. Situation. ” Light growled, punctuating every word for emphasis. He then mumbled under his breath, “Besides, even the tennis guys didn’t get to see me like that… I changed in adjoining room with screens so that they couldn’t see me. ”

L of course caught the last thing he said, and he couldn’t help but smirk. “Ah, so Light-kun is nothing but a prude… That explains it.”

Light had the sudden, strong urge to just punch L in the face then. However he knew that would be a waste of his energy, so he just gave L his best venomous glare.

L still smirked, realizing that he really enjoyed provoking Light like this. Perhaps there was a bright side to this after all. Even if Light had clearly changed, he was such enjoyable company…

They didn’t say any more words when Watari came into the room and unlocked their handcuffs. Light almost protested when he realized that L was also undressing to get into the shower with him, but he thought the better of it. After all, he supposed it would save them some time if they showered together like this… he would just have to get used to this. The handcuffs were put back on, and with that they went into the shower like that.

They finally spoke again, but it was to argue over the temperate of the running water.

Light wanted the shower to run hot, so that his body would feel like it was being purified from the cleansing heat. He loved relaxing under the gentle massage of the hot water, “ like any normal person would.” He thought L was completely insane when he stated that cold water was best, as seeing it heightened his senses and thoughts by “ 20 percent ”.

Finally they settled on a compromise–– they were to run warm water, which was comfortable for both of them. Neither of them wasn’t very happy with this, but they saw no choice in the matter as seeing they didn’t want to waste their time on such a trivial matter.

But to L’s dismay the whole Shower ordeal didn’t end there.

L had been content to just stand under the running water like he did normally, but Light was appalled by this for some reason.

“ What? You don’t even use soap or shampoo? That’s all you do in the shower? Just stand there and let the water do the work?” Light asked stared back at him with wide horror-filled eyes, after L had declined his offer of sharing the shampoo and the soap.

L honestly didn’t see what the big deal was. The way he saw it, shampoo and soap were actually for useless cosmetic purposes and didn’t become useful in any way to his life. In other words, they were just a waste of time and money to him. It was also the reason why he didn’t comb his hair very much, he had no use for vanity. This was all there was to it.

Of course he had tried to explain this very sound logic to Light, but Light had became too disgusted with him.

“You don’t even wash behind your ears, do you? I simply won’t stand for such a unhygienic person sharing the same bed as me! I could catch something awful that way. Now stand still and let me show you how it’s done! ” Light snapped.

So somehow L found his back, neck and ears being scrubbed vigorously by a almost-motherly Light. He stood there calmly, pondering this. He mentally added this to the list of Light’s Quirks. Not only was he a prude who was shy with his body, he was a clean freak too. Wonderful.
Although, Light seemed to have gotten over his shyness about sharing the showers and changing clothes together. Maybe he could also do something about Light’s useless need to use soap and shampoo…

Not that it was actually bad, now that he analyzed this situation. Light’s scrubbing hands all over his back, shoulders and neck actually felt very nice… it was almost like a massage, but not quite.

He got lost in thought, thinking about who was the last person he ever actually let touch him in such a way… He could only recall a fuzzy memory of him being this intimate with a woman. it was such a long time ago. And that woman was actually only an hired escort to help him learn how to take care of his…carnal needs. She also helped teach him about the art of sex, and the art of seduction should he need such skills later on in his job as the world’s top detective.
He tried to recall her name, but couldn’t. He could recall everything she had taught him clearly, though. One would think that for his first time back then, he would remember her name. But then again, the whole thing had been so cold and business-like that it had been hardly “special” like how most would expect their first time to be.

He heard Light speak, but it was almost as if he was hearing him from a long distance.

“I expect you to scrub the rest of your body. I have no intention of touching the rest of your body, you know. I really hope you don’t expect me to do that… ” Light muttered into his ear, and L just nodded absently-mindedly while his mind continued to race.

L then went though the motions of washing his body, while Light actually got to work on lathering up L’s hair with shampoo.
Somehow, this was so comforting… having Light massage his scalp like this. Somehow, Light’s gentle fingers seemed to increase the blood flow to his brain too, helping him think more clearly by 10 percent.
That was truly an amazing skill Light had, and L couldn’t help but wonder if Light was aware of that fact. It was just a shame that Light was obviously Kira, otherwise he might consider keeping Light around just for this.

“Close your eyes.” He heard Light say, and before he could ask why he found himself being shoved slightly in the direction of the showerhead. He shut his eyes, letting the shampoo and the soap run down his lean body.

Even with his eyes closed, he was fully aware of the fact that Light was now staring at him. He supposed that Light was thinking that he was surreptitiously examining the famous “ L ” in his most raw and exposed form without the detective being aware. He resisted the urge to smirk outwardly, and he stepped out of the path of the showerhead. He found himself somewhat thinking that he hoped that Light liked what he saw. Even if such thoughts were completely illogical. He opened his eyes to find that Light had started working on washing himself.

“ Let me wash your back. ” He found himself saying.

Light looked startled for a second there, and then looked at him with what appeared to be a dubious expression.

“What, I can’t return the favor? ” L asked, staring at Light almost too innocently.

Light eyed him supicously, but turned his back anyway as if to let him do it. L found himself smiling, as he worked up a soapy lather with his hands. He then gingerly started work on Light’s back.

He attempted to follow the same patterns that Light had done on his own back, and he found that Light relaxed slightly under his touch. He liked how smooth Light’s skin felt under his hands, and how exquisite his body truly looked up close like this. L had thought Light’s body was attractive on camera, but that had been nothing compared to seeing the real thing up close. His penis twitched and slightly when he recalled that erotic masturbation shower scene. And now…the two of them were in a shower not too dissimilar to the one Light had masturbated in. He considered the possibility of this being fate, before dismissing that out of his mind.
He couldn’t help but wonder what the heck he was doing right now. It almost seemed too surreal that he was in such a intimate situation like this with an enemy, and enjoying it too.

At least he wasn’t too emotionally involved with this suspect–that much he was thankful for. He was still a master at detaching his emotions from this kind of situation, even if his body might react to the eroticism of this scene. But for now…he would just go with this and see how far Light would let this go. He was also interested in how Kira might use this, if he was the sort to use intimacy like that in order to win people’s trust.

Both were silent for a couple of minutes, as both were focused on washing Light’s body… and trying hard not to think too much about how slightly awkward this first communal shower was. Both couldn’t help but wonder for a second if they had willingly let things get too intimate like this more than they should had. After all, they both barely knew each other…

Of course neither one of them were willing to admit this out loud. They also knew that if they had said such things, it would had been pointless anyway because they would have to do the same things together like this over and over. That is, until Light cleared his name as Kira…
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The change into pajamas and clothing for bed was equally as awkward, with Watari averting his eyes like the true gentleman that he was.

‘Well, at least one of them knows how to act like a *real* gentleman..’ Light thought darkly, as he caught L glancing at him out of the corners of his eyes.

When they were both finished dressing for bed, Watari applied the handcuffs back on once again and left.

He couldn’t help but feel slightly tense around L right now. Thanks to the bizarre detective, he was forced to do a lot of “ firsts ”.

It was the first time that he actually had undressed in front of somebody that wasn’t family. And that was saying a lot, since his family hadn’t seen him naked again ever since he became a child of age where he could dress himself properly without help. Which was when he turned five to six years old.

This was the first time he ever shared a shower like that with somebody. The first time he actually washed somebody’s back and had that same somebody wash his. That had wound up feeling a little too personal and too intimate for his tastes. He couldn’t shake the feeling that perhaps L was thinking perverted thoughts about him.
And to make matters worse, he had caught himself goggling at L’s soapy, drenched body at one point as if he was some kind of gay pervert. He couldn’t help it, he was just amazed at how much L could eat so much sweets and look like how he did. He was just thankful that he had the sense to quickly start washing himself before L had noticed that. It would had been humiliating trying to explain himself to L, who would certainly read way too much into it!

And now… He was sharing a bed with a man… for the first time. L had stressed how much it was going to be strictly Platonic, but Light wasn’t too sure about that part… not after what had happened in the shower. He was okay with sharing a bed with somebody else for the first time. He just wasn’t okay with having sex for the first time… if it meant that it was with L.

As much as he admired the guy, he barely knew the guy. And he wanted to be able to know a person intimately, both emotionally and mentally when he had sex for the first time. And that wasn’t even the disturbing part…He didn’t object to the idea of that special somebody being male. Light Yagami, the most popular guy amongst the ladies, didn’t mind the idea of doing it with a guy as long as the guy wasn’t a total stranger.

What. The. Hell?

Before meeting L like this, he was so sure of everything. If some random person was to ask him back then which one he liked, ladies or guys… he would had scoffed, and said something to the effect of: “Who do you think I am? I have no interest in men at all! ”
But now that he met L, he felt as if the universe was somehow screwing around with his head. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was doing just exactly that. It disturbed him that perhaps he didn’t know himself well as he thought he did.

With that disturbing thought bouncing around his head, he had a difficult time falling asleep… it was hours before he finally fell asleep.

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I just wanted to do something that was awkward, yet sexy at the same time. =)

I hope I wrote them realistically here… I kept on agonizing over whenever they were truly in character or not.

In the end I just decided, the hell with it. I’ll just write how I see them, and hope that people like how I see them. =P

Review as always, please. ;) I love good feedback, it really helps me to know what needs working on.