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He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh	By : DarkFae Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 3384 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: don't own durarara or anything about it. no casholas or profit from it either. just having fun!

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh

Chapter Eight

Crime and Punishment
A/N: Aaaannd one more drug reference for fun :) Find the mainstream music reference this time!
Recommended Listening: “What If?” – Creed “Mudshovel” – Staind “Hit the Floor” – Linkin Park
(((Heiwajima Shizuo)))
I didn't expect Izaya to keep his promise of leaving me alone even for a little while, but surprisingly, he was gone for a whole three months. Things were blissfully quiet for a bit, even when I threw an obnoxious patron or two out the door and halfway across the block. I was just starting to think that just maybe I'd shaken him by not giving into his taunting when that sadistic pest turned my world upsidown again.
If I thought I hated him before, I was dead wrong.
It was Saturday afternoon, so business was picking up for the night. It was a holiday weekend, so almost everyone was on shift, including my boss in anticipation of a busy night. If Izaya hadn't brought in so much business that one night, the damages he caused would have cost a fortune. I would have rather he just went and fucked himself regardless of the near $500 total tips we'd gotten, but Yoko had been pestering me to bring the bastard back for round two.
Not a chance in hell, I'd kept telling her.
I was smoking out back when the door opened. “Shizuo-san, your friend is here.”
“Huh?” Did she mean Celty?
“Hi, hi, Shizu-chan!” He poked his head out around Yoko and grinned that stupid grin.
My eyebrow started to twitch. Okay, I can keep it together. He couldn't possibly push me any further than he had last fall. If I could hold out then, this time shouldn't be a problem. Keep your cool, Shizuo. Feet on the ground, head on your shoulders. Kasuka. Just keep thinking of what you promised Kasuka.
“The hell do you want, pest?” I sneered.
“Just checking up on you!” Izaya lied. “I dare say this is the longest stretch you've ever held a job for, isn't it?”
“What's it matter to you?” I snapped. “I thought I told you we were done.”
He skipped around me and plucked the cigarette out of my mouth to take a drag for himself. He then tried to replace it on my lips but I slapped it away, knocking it out of his hand. I stomped on it and turned to follow Yoko back inside.
Izaya's arms were around my waist without warning, forcing me to stop. “Don't leave,” he said quietly.
I was torn, and furious that I was torn at all. My baser instincts felt pity and wanted to sigh and oblige him. My more rational side raged that he was still playing these stupid games. I knew this was just an act. “What are you up to now?” I asked over my shoulder coldly.
“I'm sorry.”
There was a long silence between us. I turned and looked him hard in the eye. They oozed sincerity; he seemed almost hurt. I knew better.
“I don't believe you,” I said at last. And I turned back into the bar, slamming the door in his face.
Asshole.
The assault was sudden and shocking, not only to me but everyone there. About an hour after Izaya left, four police officers just busted in out of nowhere. Before anyone could ask what the problem was, three of them grabbed me and pinned me to the bar, frisking me without any explanation.
“What the fuck is this?!” I demanded.
“Is … is there a problem, officers?” my boss asked, a little taken aback.
“Has there been any drug trafficking here, Yoshimori-san?” the one in charge asked, thoroughly searching under and around the bar.
“Absolutely not!” he insisted. “What's going on here, Heiwajima-kun?!”
“I have no idea!” I shouted angrily. “Get the hell off of me! This is an outrage!”
“He's got a gram, sir,” one of them said. And to my utter horror, he pulled a little sealable plastic baggie from my pocket, along with a white knight chess piece. In an instant, I knew exactly why Izaya had initiated contact today.
“Heiwajima-san!” Yoko gasped.
“This... this is unbelievable... UNACCEPTABLE...” I tried to say, a crushing weight on my chest. “You son of a bitch... you SON OF A BITCH!” I threw the cops off of me and stormed towards the door.
“Hold it! You're under arrest!!”
“Iiiiizzaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....!!!”
“Back up! We need back up!”
It was blur. That anger returned tenfold like a tsunami washing over me. I flipped cars. People went flying. Road signs and traffic lights were ripped up. All I remember was being pinned against a chain link fence somehow, and catching a glimpse of him in the slew of police lights and sirens. I wasn't trying to avoid the law. No, I was trying to get to him. I'd do anything to destroy him, to rip him to pieces and scatter his remains to the edges of the earth. And all he did … was smirk with a wink.
“IIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”
***
Once they found that my fingerprints weren't even on the bag, the drug charges were dropped. It helped that I passed every drug test they threw at me. Shinra submitted a medical statement for me stating some kind of emotional instability, so I got off with a few months of probation and anger management for resisting arrest and a fine for damages to public property.
I stood outside the police station and took out my phone.
To: Nabiri Yoko 11:02pm

Am I still on the schedule for next week?

<a crow left of the murder>
I waited for her reply in a kind of numb stupor. It started to rain a little.
From: Nabiri Yoko 11:08pm

No. I'm sorry.

<Ruri 4 life!>
To: Nabiri Yoko 11:10pm

Thanks

<a crow left of the murder>
That was it then. I couldn't keep my promise to Kasuka. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel. It started to downpour, and all I could do was stand there and wonder why I was so empty. It wasn't so much that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to ever find a job in this town – certainly on my mind – but that I failed my brother. He only asked one thing of me, and … I failed.
“Oh, if it isn't Shizuo-chan!”
I looked over and was taken aback to see Tanaka Tom under an umbrella. He had been a year ahead of me in middle-school, and I hadn't really seen him in a long time. “Hey,” I replied hollowly.
“You look like hell.”
“Yeah.”
“No man, you really look like shit. I'd feel bad if I just passed you by and didn't at least offer an ear to listen. Hey, I've got a discount coupon to that Russian Sushi joint around the corner. Come on, man, cheer up.”
I was too depressed to argue. I didn't really spill my guts to him or anything, but I did answer his questions honestly, so he at least got the gist of what was going on. I hardly touched my food.
“Shizuo! Be happy!” Simon told me, looming over us at our booth with a big smile. “Sushi makes people happy, yes? Eat and be happy!”
“Your Japanese sucks,” I muttered.
“You been fighting again, Shizuo? Fighting is bad you know. Look you mess your bartender clothes up.”
“Thank you Simon-san, I'll spare you vending machine this time,” I sighed, poking at the sushi with my chopsticks miserably. He laughed and moved onto other customers, butchering the local dialect while trying to push more sushi on them.
“I've heard stories about you, Shizuo-chan,” Tom said. “Is it true you took on twenty guys with nothing but a stop sign?”
“Tch. Yeah, that was a long time ago, but it's true,” I replied, smiling emptily.
“You threw a car at Orihara-san or something?”
“It was a steel bench, but yeah. The car was at that delivery job a few years back.”
“I need someone like you, Shizuo-chan,” Tom said seriously. “You think you can help me out?”
“Help you what?”
“Let's say... I collect debts. And sometimes people get... irate. I could use a little intimidation factor, and maybe a bit of muscle back up, you know?”
“I'm not doing anything illegal.”
“No, no, I wouldn't ask you to do that. You have a reputation, you know. You, my friend, are rumored to be the strongest man in Ikebukuro.”
“Pft. Shut up.”
“I'm not kidding! Look, I'll pay you at least twice as much of what you were making at the Tavern. I might deal with shady people who might dabble in less than legal dealings, but all I do is collect the money. All you do is look scary and make sure my ass stays in one piece. You know nothing. Sound fair?”
I shrugged. What else could I do? “Yeah. Why not. It's not like I have anything else I can do in this town.”
My phone lit up and “Du Hast” came on. I glared at it for a minute, letting it dance across the table as it vibrated. The name “Shit Head” appeared in the window.
“Are you going to answer that?” Tom asked.
-REJECT- “No,” I snapped, clenching my teeth and starting to tremble. I could feel it. I was going to lose it. -ONE NEW VOICEMAIL- It started to vibrate and Rammstein sang again. -REJECT-... -TWO NEW VOICEMAILS- Vibrate and blare. -REJECT-... -THREE NEW VOICEMAILS-
“Who's 'Shit Head'?” Tom asked, sounding amused. “Whoever it is, they really want to get a hold of you.”
“Shit Head can go fuck himself,” I growled. The phone came alive again. I finally threw it open. “What the fuck do you want you sadistic, twisted freak of nature?!” I shouted. Tom jumped, as did other customers.
“Aren't we hostile tonight?” Izaya laughed.
“I see you, I kill you,” I told him fiercely. “I will stuff your corpse in a dumpster and throw it into the river so they'll never find your slimy ass!”
“Aw, that's not nice. Say, are you working next Friday?”
“You are walking on thin ice you little shit. I'm going to get my ass over to Shinjuku and strangle you on your home turf if you keep this up!”
“Oh, you lost your job? That's too bad...”
“BECAUSE OF YOU!!”
“I know.” I could feel him grin over the phone.
I stood up and threw my half full plate across the room. “I know you're smirking. I know you're messing with me. Why I'll never know, and at this point I don't care. I have no reason to hold back anymore. I AM GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, YOU HEAR ME?!”
“Shizuo, talk like that is bad!” Simon scolded. “You scare people, they can't be happy! Don't fight!”
“Shut up you Russian freak!” I yelled.
“Oh, Russian Sushi?” Izaya asked. “What a coincidence! I just ordered take out! Say, which is your favorite, maybe I'll save you some...”
The chopsticks in my other hand snapped in two. I jumped up and ran out the door. “Shizuo-chan, wait!” Tom cried, scrambling up to follow.
There he was, standing with his back to the crosswalk, glancing at his phone as he realized that I had hung up on him. He turned to look at me and smiled in that sadistic manner. “There you are...”
“IIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAA-KUUUUUUN!!!!” I screamed, snapping a streetlamp in half and chucking it across the street.
He skipped out of the way merrily. “Now that's more like it!”
“YOU WONT' GET AWAY THIS TIME!!” I ran after him, ignoring the traffic signals. Cars screeched to a halt and people cried obscenities at me. I didn't care. All I could see was Izaya, who was putting his phone back in his pocket and setting what he had ordered aside. I swung at him, and he just danced away, using benches, trashcans and telephone poles to preform acrobatics in avoidance of my onslaught.
I heard several whistles and maneuvered out of the way. I wasn't stupid, I knew why his hand was in his pocket, even though I could barely see it move. Three knives zipped by, leaving little rips in my clothes and cuts on my skin in their wake. I couldn't feel it. It's like when my anger took over, I couldn't feel pain. It just didn't register. And oh, my rage was in full swing.
Though they had missed their mark, it seemed Izaya had anticipated my dodge. The blades had been thrown with such speed and force that they had severed a “Don't litter!” sign overhead. I caught it before it could hit my head and hauled it at him. He stepped aside and made a show of yawning.
“Welp! That's enough fun for today,” he sighed cheerfully. He hopped on top of a bus stop booth and waved.
“You're a coward!!” I cried in frustration.
“And I'm laughing!” he replied.
“How can you be such a coward and laugh?!”
“Because!” He balanced on one foot and twirled his flickblade deftly. “I love being a coward! See ya!” He then proceeded to car hop across the street while vehicles were stopped at a red light. I started to give chase when a very large hand grabbed me by the cuff of my shirt and picked me up. I only knew one guy who would dare lay his hands on me like that, and even have the strength to almost equal my own. He hadn't done this since high school, and yet I knew exactly who it was.
“SIMON-SAN, YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT OR I'LL KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!” I howled, kicking.
“Let Izaya go, Shizuo,” he told me calmly. “Not worth it today, yeah? Come. Finish your sushi. Tom is waiting.”
Izaya was long gone by now. I sighed and stopped struggling. Simon put me down and brushed me off. I glared at him. “Interfere again, and I'm gonna punch the tar out of you.”
“Hanasho is on special, Shizuo! Don't fight. Fighting is bad. Come, come!”
“You really need to learn how to address people...” I sighed as I followed him back into the restaurant. Tom was all smiles. “Sorry about that...”
“Consider that you're interview. You're hired!”
Well, if that's what the job entailed...
But the next time I see Izaya in Ikebukuro, I'm gonna kill him dead. I don't care what it will take.
**END**
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- 9
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He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh