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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Learning to Land. Chapter Eighty Seven ~Tachibana~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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He made Fuji promise not to kill himself and honestly told him he loved him over and over again, and then to his shame, like a coward...Tachibana ran away.

At first, he just needed to think...

Just some space and time and distance to try to think everything through. He planned on calling Fuji the next day. Right after he dealt with his parents coming to pick him up early that morning.

It had been hell calling his parents after they paid so much for him to attend the camp and all. Tachibana felt deeply ashamed and embarrassed on the phone as he lied to them. He lamely told them he was too exhausted and couldn't finish. He asked them if he could please come home. He knew he sounded like hell because his heartache echoed hollowly in his voice, and he must have been convincing. His parents said they loved him, and they dropped everything to come get him.

It hurt more that his parents never argued with him or even tried to talk him into staying. They trusted him enough to not even question his decision to come home. His father even took the morning off work to pick him up. It was horrible and shameful, but all Tachibana felt was dead inside. Numb and dead and cold like a dried up stick that if touched might snap in half and then crumble away into dust.

When he saw his father, to his complete mortification, Tachibana almost broke down and cried. Without saying a word after seeing him, his dad put an arm around his shoulders. His father picked up his bag for him, and lead him to the car where his mother was waiting. As they walked to the car, his dad quietly said not to worry. That everything would be all right.

He wished he could talk any of this over with his father. He wished his father could fix things like when he was a little boy. When he first started playing tennis at a very young age, he would often fall and get hurt and laugh it off. Only when he was home and his father would tenderly clean and bandage his bloody knees and elbows did he ever cry. His father was a strong person and he was a very gentle and calm man. He would softly talk as a rule and in that soothing voice he would talk with Tachibana as he tended his cuts and scrapes. After he was patched up, his dad would give him a hug and tell him everything was all right now. It always made Tachibana feel safe and loved.

Part of him wished he was a little boy again. Part of him wanted his father to hug him and really understand. Really make all of this be all right.

But not even his father could fix this.

Tachibana's throat ached from unshed tears that he forced down and held in. He kept saying to himself in his head that he was stronger than this. He was tougher than this. Suck it up. He owed it to his parents to not fall apart on them. He was not going to break down in front of his father. He tried to continue to put one foot in front of the other and to keep his breathing steady and even. He refused to give into the hot tears that stung his eyes and burned his throat, just as he couldn't give into the scream he felt stuck in the center of his chest. All of them were fighting to get out of him and he held them all down and fought them back.

His father at the car told Tachibana he should lie down on the backseat and rest. He must have looked like hell. He felt even worse.

Tachibana did try to call Fuji when he got home. Well, not immediately, but he tried as soon as he could. His very concerned-looking parents tucked him into bed. Soon after his father left to return to work and his mom went out for groceries. Before he even heard his mom's car leave the driveway, he was dialing.

It had been hell for him to wait even that long. Impatience and anxiety tore through him as he waited and listened to the camp phone ring and ring. Finally someone answered. They told him Fuji was sick and in the infirmary. Too ill to come to the phone. Tachibana felt the same. Sick and shaky and achy. As if a part of him had been ripped away. They asked to take a message but he found he had no idea what to begin to say. He said he would call back later, hung up the phone, and then the tears finally broke through. They started slow with a few shaking breaths which turned into sobs. Powerful sobs racked his body and he howled as he cried until he made himself violently ill. And then he cried some more. He couldn't stop. He didn't think he ever would. Eventually he cried himself to sleep.

He was physically sick in bed with a fever for days. He slept a lot, usually after another bout of crying. Most days he could barely get out of bed. He felt like he had the flu and at the same time in his heart it felt like someone had died. Tachibana was terrified by these feelings. They felt overwhelming and unbearable. He was even more afraid that if Fuji felt the same maybe he would want to die. Or would do something.

Tachibana even thought about death to his shame a few times. If he heard Fuji died, there were times when he thought that he really might want to die too. He didn't know how he could live the rest of his life like this, and he didn't know how to make the pain or the empty hollow ache inside him stop hurting. He cried in his bed alone at night until he made himself sicker or until sleep finally took him. He never felt more alone in his entire life. He loved Fuji. He painfully missed him. He hurt him. He was a bastard. Fuji deserved better. He tried again and again to think of what to do to save the tensai but Tachibana couldn't think of a thing except how much this hurt.

The more days that went by without him calling Fuji or talking to him, the harder it seemed to find the words to say. The longer he went without Fuji, the more he became afraid that if he contacted the tensai even just to make sure he was okay or say goodbye, that Tachibana would go through all this pain and agony all over again from the beginning. Maybe they both would. He could hurt Fuji even worse because he selfishly and desperately needed to hear the tensai's voice.

He was very afraid Fuji was not okay. He could see the tensai alone and upset like he was and everything in him screamed to reach out for Fuji. He was scared something would happen, or Fuji would do something, and it would all be his damn fault. He didn't know what to do, and there was no one he could talk to about any of this.

He was worried if he talked to Fuji that the tensai would insist on seeing him. Tachibana already knew if Fuji contacted him and asked to meet he couldn't refuse to go. He wouldn't be strong enough to tell Fuji no. Things were already out of control and he had a feeling if he saw Fuji, everything would only get worse.

Yet at the same time, Tachibana had a sense that he was going through all of this for nothing. He would have nothing to show for all this pain and suffering. They were two young guys. What could they do? Where could they go? He had no answers. There were times when he thought maybe Fuji never loved him at all. Maybe it was just some joke. Maybe he got it all wrong and was fooled.Certainly no matter what Fuji now hated him. If he didn't then he would have tried to contact Tachibana.

Fuji hated him.Just that thought was enough to make him cry until he was sick. Hell, there wasn't even proof that they were ever together or loved each other. The only thing Tachibana had to show it even happened was his shirt. The one he had worn when they slept together that last night and every day that painfully slipped by, Fuji's smell of warmth and sex and love and apples also faded away a little more.

And then school for Tachibana began again and he went back to the place that he considered home. Neutral ground. The one place where he was at his best and on the top of his game. Only now, he wasn't at his best.

Everyone and everything was familiar and nothing had changed--but he had.

Everything for him was...wrong. Although it helped to be back in his routine. Even though most days it was hard for him to crawl out of bed and go through the motions of living normally like everyone else, it did help him to keep busy. He fell back into his usual pattern of tennis training and school, but inside Tachibana was still heartbroken.

He was still literally heartsick over everything and he began to get very, very angry.

He was angry at his stupid and shallow friends. He was furious at the world for being so screwed up. He was enraged at Fuji for dumping all this on him, and more than anything, Tachibana hated himself for not being able to find any solutions.

Tachibana took his rage out on the tennis courts. He was unmerciful and struck down everyone who opposed him. Including people he used to call his friends. One by one they confronted him after he soundly defeated them. They whined to him wondering why or what happened or what did they ever do to him. His rage only grew. It was like a monster that had to be constantly fed. He told them one by one, in no uncertain terms, where they and their questions could go. Pretty soon they stopped asking and also stopped being his friend.

Off the courts he also started to isolate himself because he just could not stomach the petty people he used to think were his friends. It was as if suddenly everywhere around him he noticed that there was the smell of something rotting and no one else noticed the stench but him.

His friends all had these little stupid problems and everywhere he looked things in the world were meaningless and pathetic. His old friends could never understand what he was going through or his feeling. He didn't even try to talk these things over with them because they weren't capable of being real. They all lead pampered and charmed lives with successful futures set for them. They would never struggle or know pain, and if anything ever went badly for them, their families were there to buy them out of their problems.

At one time, Tachibana so admired them and now he completely resented and despised them.

The only person he could talk anything about this over with was his roommate, Yasuo.

Yasuo was always there for him. He listened to Tachibana talk for hours and hours and seemed to be the only one who was able to understand even part of what he was feeling. Maybe because he had always been an outsider looking in, Yasuo was able to see things at their school through Tachibana's love-sickened gaze. Yasuo understood and he cared. If it wasn't for Yasuo being there for him, Tachibana knows he would have snapped and things would have soured much sooner. Yasuo gave him a much needed outlet to talk and was always there to comfort Tachibana.

Yeah, Yasuo was a good guy. And a good friend. Maybe even his only friend because he was the only one who stood by Tachibana after what happened that caused him to leave school once and for all. Even now Yasuo still wrote Tachibana letters and sometimes called to see how he was.

They never talked about things though. At least not the kinds of things they had done together. Hell, the guy probably was doing the same sort of things with whoever was his new roommate now--but Tachibana in his heart didn't really think so. In fact, on their last call, Tachibana had specifically asked what girl Yasuo was hot for now to try to encourage him to move on, just in case. Tachibana didn't want to be responsible for hurting anyone else or letting anyone else down. And the monster Tachibana was, he probably would. Yasuo deserved better than him.

Tachibana was also trying to move on. He was trying to make changes. He was trying to be a better person even though the only times he felt good about himself was when he was helping the freshmen train. Hell, the only times it didn't feel so hard to get through the day since Fuji was when he saw these freshmen love and care about each other. He didn't think they were gay or had touched each other or anything like that. No way. They seemed painfully straight so no way could he talk to them about any of that.

He was very aware that guys like him and Yasuo who went away to a school without girls around were probably more likely to have friendships and experiment just like they had. Guys were guys and they sometimes got curious and horny and things sometimes happened. It wasn't that it meant anything or that they were gay or anything like that. Lots of guys had fooled around as kids and went on to be completely normal. In his old school everyone knew that.

The freshmen never had any experiences like that. They had always gone to co-ed schools and were used to girls being around all the time. They all had girls that were just friends and sisters and stuff. It seemed the freshmen always had girls around, even though they weren't all that popular, girls still liked one or another of them. It happened regularly enough that Tachibana saw it fairly often. Although Tachibana had noticed, whatever bond these guys had, it was stronger than anything--even girls.

Tachibana watched in awe as Mori dumped his girlfriend. One day he seemed really into her. Mori even agreed to let her date him in secret so her friends wouldn't know she was seeing one of those freshmen. Then the next day when she came to watch him play tennis, he excused himself, took her aside and talked to her.

Tachibana felt irritated that their practice had been interrupted. He thought the guy should mess around with his girlfriend on his own time. Yeah when the guys talked after Mori told them about the secret part, Tachibana agreed with everyone else that it wasn't fair or a good idea. Mori deserved better than someone who was concerned about her popularity that much.Tachibana was also thinking it must be nice to have a girlfriend and yet on the other hand, they seemed to be such a distraction, when the girl suddenly ran off crying.

Mori returned to the court looking shaky and he was smiling but anyone could tell the guy was upset. He was patted on the back by Ibu, and supported by Kamio, Ishida, and Sakurai. Without asking, Sakurai excused himself to go make sure the girl was all right.

When Tachibana went to ask angrily what in the hell was going on, Ibu caught his eye and shook his head quickly no. Silently telling Tachibana to not even ask. Which was very annoying and confusing. He was there helping them out on his own free time. The least the freshmen could do was open up to him and tell him what the hell was going on!

Uchimura, the littlest guy with the baseball cap always on was the only one who didn't rush over to support Mori. He stood off to the side and looked at his feet while deeply blushing. Mori said gently as if he was for some reason comforting Uchimura, "It's done. It's a start. It's gonna be okay now, okay?"

A small movement of the baseball hat was all Tachibana could see. He guessed it was a nod, but he could feel intense tension bloom in the air and the awkward silent moment stretch out. He wondered if Uchimura had liked the girl or dated her first. Maybe that was why Mori broke up with her. For his friend. The freshmen would do something like that for one of their friends in a heartbeat.

No one moved, and Tachibana was just about to turn on his heel and walk home. It felt as if they were maybe afraid to talk openly in front of him or something. He was sick of being an outsider, and wouldn't stay where he wasn't wanted.

Kamio of course was the first to crack under the pressure of silence before Tachibana could get a word out or take a step. He shook his red hair more in his eyes and said, "We've wasted Tachibana-san's time here long enough. Please forgive us Tachibana-san. With your permission, Shinji and I will play doubles against Kyousuki and Tasunori?"

The baseball hat guy and Mori looked directly at each other for the first time since this happened. Everyone smiled as if they had all agreed on something other than tennis, but Tachibana had no idea what the hell it was. Mori smiled and Uchimura smiled back at him, but the little guy's smile seemed fragile as if it was threatening to break. The little guy looked as if he might cry at the same time while smiling.

Up until then Uchimura had always paired off to play doubles with Ishida. Tachibana was forever wanting him to switch and play with Mori but for some reason the little guy always resisted. He had excuses that ranged from he didn't want to hurt Ishida's feelings to he was more comfortable with him than Mori, but Tachibana didn't understand why even if he was more comfortable he couldn't just try. Not once. Not until right then when Kamio suggested it.

Tachibana wanted to see this. He knew he was right in switching the pairs around. Uchimura was a good front man who preferred to play right at the net. Ishida was strong and quick but not fast enough to constantly cover the entire court that Uchimura left open even with his fast net play. Kamio would be a better choice but his speed really was wasted in doubles. He had a lot more to learn in singles and Kamio learned best by doing. Mori, however,was perfect to pair with Uchimura.

Mori was fast. Not as fast as Kamio, but fast.Plus he liked to cover a lot of ground. He and Sakurai up until then were usually paired together and were too often butting heads. Literally. Each tried to cover too much of the court which usually resulted in the two of them all too often slamming into each other. Sakurai and Ishida were better together and a good power team besides. Mori and Uchimura if they could work out some signals and plays would click much better. Finally Tachibana was getting his way as far as doubles pairs went, but it still felt like there was more going on than he knew about.

And it felt uncomfortable like when he and Yasuo were not talking that week after that first night with the lotion.

Retying the scarf on his head, Ishida spoke and shook him out of his thoughts, "Tachibana-san, I was wondering if you would help me work on something, please? When I put all my strength into a return, my accuracy as you've pointed out, suffers. I've an idea that might work to increase both the force of my return and my accuracy..."

The rest of practice continued normally. Sakurai returned soon after and quietly told everyone the girl would be fine, she understood it was for the best. Tachibana and Sakurai helped Ishida work on a powerful flat shot. If the strong guy could get it down, it really would be impossible for anyone not as strong as he was to return it. Tachibana even played singles against this new power duo of Ishida and Sakurai. He was intrigued by them and fascinated to watch them as they discovered new ways of working better together. It was exciting to watch a new pair be born.

Tachibana knew he also needed to move to work off his own tension by playing a little.

Things seemed to be back to normal.

Until the end of practice, when the groups split up to go their separate ways. Mori and Uchimura left together when usually the small guy went with Sakurai or Ishida. Now Ishida and Sakurai left together. Kamio and Ibu as usual went to walk Tachibana home after they all said that odd, "Love you guys..." to each other.

Kamio filled the air with what Tachibana now knew as his nervous chatter. It was different from when the freshman was telling a story or giving information, because it went on and on with no point. Kamio hadn't done his verbal blathering this badly and intensely since Tachibana had first met the freshmen. What the hell he was so nervous and upset about Tachibana had no idea.

Really, for all their weeks of spending time together day in and day out, Tachibana knew very little about them. He didn't know if they had brothers or sisters unless they brought it up. He didn't know where some of them lived, when half of their birthdays were, or what most of their fathers did for a living. It was odd how that worked out. Tachibana came from a school where home was somewhere else far away and rarely talked about. The history and past of the freshmen was all common knowledge shared between them. So, Tachibana by habit never asked and they by habit never talked about stuff like this. But more and more, Tachibana wanted to know these things. And other things about them too.

He couldn't fall asleep at night thinking about things like this.

Rolling around in his bed that night and unable to stop thinking about them, Tachibana resolved to make Kamio talk about whatever the tension had been between Mori and Uchimura. He would force Kamio to give him some answers the next morning when he and Ibu showed up to walk with him to school. No matter how much Ibu shook his head no, Tachibana was going to ask at least a few of the questions that were bothering him. He was their senpai. He had a right to know. There were things going on that he was left out of--maybe important things and he wanted his answers.

Part of him warned himself that by making Kamio talk he was going to be getting involved with them. Further involved. Tachibana reasoned to himself that he already was involved with the freshmen. He had to concede that he was intrigued by them. He liked them. Only not any one in particular. They each had outstanding and compelling qualities that attracted Tachibana more and more.

A few times he idly wondered if any or all the freshmen ever touched themselves. He figured they probably had. Age-wise it would probably be weirder if they hadn't. Hell, maybe they even did like he used to with friends while watching a "borrowed" pornographic movie--which was pretty hot to think about. He could see them doing something like that. All together. He couldn't think too often about it because the thought of them all doing it turned him on incredibly and yet, because they cared about each other in such a pure, brotherly way he felt guilty and dirty about his thoughts at the same time.

He felt even more guilty because sometimes, in his bed late at night alone, he thought to himself that maybe one or two of them even touched each other like he and Yasuo used to. Just the thought of it, the images that flashed through his mind of Kamio or Ishida moaning in pleasure, or Ibu silently coming could send Tachibana over in less than a minute. He felt horrible about it afterward, but figured he had to let himself have some release. He had learned if he didn't his hot and perverted dreams kept having them doing even more sex things together than his guilty waking mind was capable thinking up.

A girl in Tachibana's class the week before confessed to him, and he considered dating her just because she had pretty dyed red hair. In the end though, because she told him that she loved him--and that she wanted to date him in secret, he turned her down. He wouldn't date someone in secret, but more importantly he didn't want to be responsible for hurting her with just a fling. Especially while his thoughts, attentions, and he had to admit his interest was elsewhere.

Not that he would admit that to anyone. It was just tennis and he had been attracted to guys he played with before. When he faced someone new and interesting it was a kind of a turn on until Tachibana defeated them. Of course nothing ever happened like with Fuji. Mostly because he never said anything, so he resolved to never let any of the freshmen know either. He just looked. Looking wouldn't hurt anything. Plus, his favorite freshman one day was often replaced by someone else the next. There was no clear one he was really the most interested in. They all had nice things about them.

Tachibana found Kamio Akira, in the rare moments he was quiet, quite physically attractive. Plus for all of Kamio's constant talking, he was one of the hardest people Tachibana ever tried to get to know. It was intriguing how someone who talked constantly seemed to do it to take the focus off himself. The quick redhead's body was toned from all the tennis, and his face, when his hair was partially out of his eyes, was really cute. Tachibana suspected that Kamio's face might even be beautiful in much the same perfect way as Fuji's had been. The first time Tachibana had seen slightly more than half of Kamio's face without his shock of red hair covering it had rendered the junior speechless.

Tachibana had no idea up until then the fast guy's features were that fine. He only saw Kamio's face for an instant and then his hair snapped back into place. Like a protective covering of some kind. Tachibana figured the guy probably kept his hair in his face partly as an insecurity, but mostly to divert attention. If Kamio had been at Tachibana's old school, poor or not with how he looked he would have been very popular with a lot of the guys. If the girls at their current school saw Kamio's face full on, they would be all over him, whether Kamio talked too much or not.

Tachibana realized slowly that this actually might be why he was the most picked on by the tennis club regulars. Not simply because Kamio was the most vocal, but maybe because he was very attractive. Plus Kamio had this certain quality of innocence and eagerness to please that was beguiling. To teach and pleasure the quick-witted and hot-tempered boy would be fun and challenging. Kamio would make an amazing lover. Tachibana was as certain of that as he was sure he was a horrible person for thinking it.

And then there was Ibu. Because he never spoke, you would think he was hard to get to know, but Tachibana found this surprisingly wasn't so. Tachibana had to admit he felt closest to Ibu Shinji. He was brilliant. There was no question sitting next to him every school day that the guy was a brain like Fuji had been, yet Ibu had an inner strength and resiliency that fragile, damaged Fuji didn't seem to posses. You had a feeling that no matter how bad things got, Ibu would keep fighting until he drew his last breath. Tachibana admired Ibu's strength. It was hard to crush the spirit of someone like that, though the regulars had tried. Ibu, no matter how hard they pushed him never broke or faltered.

Between the rumors and the little bit Kamio blurted out during a few of his long-winded rants, it seemed Ibu's father worked as a jack of all trades. And now when Ibu's mother was so ill and the family needed him, his father was off somewhere. Maybe in Europe. The other freshmen hinted that Ibu's father sent back money when he could. Tachibana also found out Ibu had a sister or sisters that stayed with some relatives while his mom was in the hospital with what was rumored to be terminal cancer.

He knew Ibu lived alone during the week in his family's apartment and every weekend the freshmen would all stay with him. Once Tachibana asked Kamio why Ibu didn't move in with him or another one of their friends instead of living alone. Kamio with a shrug said Ibu liked to stay near the phone at his home in case either of his parents called or in case something happened. Tachibana wondered out loud how Ibu even answered the phone if he ever did get a call. Kamio though wouldn't say anything more about it, even though it made no sense to Tachibana.

Kamio often liked to talk about Ibu. Tachibana knew Ibu Shinji was smart, but Kamio told him it was even more than that. He told him Ibu could have tested out of not only junior high but high school as well. He was that damn brilliant. Ibu could have been attending university by now even, but refused to consider it. Kamio said he thought it was because Ibu didn't have the money, but Tachibana thought it might be something more.

Ibu being a genius easily could have won some scholarship or grant. A guy that smart could probably even find a company willing to put him through school in exchange for him working for them when he got out. From his old school, Tachibana knew all about scholarships and grants and that Ibu could have found a way. He was certainly bright enough and the kind of determined personality that if it had been something he wanted, the guy would have found a way to make it happen. Tachibana thought Ibu didn't want to go probably because of his family, but maybe even more because of his friends.

It left their school in something of a bind. The school was a poor one that really didn't have the resources to spend on one special needs kid that was too smart for their curriculum. The junior high offered mostly vocational classes in addition to the regular high school prep courses that most schools offered. It was as if even the teachers knew that most of their students probably would not be going on to higher education so they tried to do the best they could.

Someone's bright idea apparently was to test Ibu out of all the freshman classes he would have been bored with and place him in upper level classes where he actually might learn something. What the school would do by Ibu's senior year when he had learned everything they had to offer Tachibana wasn't sure. He would have tried to ask Ibu but the guy still wasn't talking, and when the explanation was too long to write out, Ibu tended to shrug and spread his hands palms up.

Kamio similarly shrugged when Tachibana tried to bring it up. School by and large bored the redhead. It was a place to see his friends and play tennis everyday. If there wasn't any thing to talk about, or any music, or any way he could move, Kamio lost interest in a matter of seconds. It wasn't that he was unintelligent or incapable of learning, but rather that Kamio learned best by doing. Sitting in a class was the worst way to try to teach him anything. Even talking about school bored him within a minute.

And yet, Kamio usually did love to talk about Ibu. He often mentioned how brilliant Ibu was. He told Tachibana that Ibu had an eidetic memory. Kamio didn't use that term, instead he explained Ibu had total recall of anything he read or saw. A photographic memory which Kamio adorably whined was unfair since the guy was already a genius. Most of Kamio's best stories were about things he and Ibu had done together when they were younger. They were very close and had been for a long time.

When Tachibana first met him, Ibu never seemed to smile let alone talk. Now he smiled often, especially around Kamio and Tachibana. That first day when Ibu volunteered to sit beside Tachibana and get him caught up in every class they had together, Tachibana thought it was Ibu trying to compel Tachibana to help his friends. Now though he realized that because Ibu was such an outsider in a junior's classroom, and part of those freshmen, Ibu probably had needed Tachibana just as much. Before Tachibana moved to their school and in his classes, Ibu was probably bullied and made fun of all day long.

The other five freshmen at least had each other, but poor Ibu was all alone. In fact, the more Tachibana thought about it, the more he thought it was true. Now that he knew them, Tachibana also he realized the freshmen probably had been frantically trying to help Ibu out. The reason Tachibana saw them so much his first couple of weeks at school in between classes was because they were trying to be there for Ibu.

Tachibana usually saw Kamio. The poor redhead must have been racing down the halls after every class to try to meet Ibu before lunch and between classes so he wasn't such an isolated target. Tachibana being there stopped all that garbage and they were all better for it. No one mentioned this to him but he was glad he could ease some of the freshmen's stress and worries by keeping Ibu safe.

He saw Ibu most of the day, but at first Tachibana resisted getting to know him. When they first met everything Ibu did felt annoying. At first Tachibana just figured he just didn't care for the strange silent guy. Then one day he was looking at something Ibu was writing down in class when Tachibana realized how Ibu's long and delicate fingers so very much reminded him of Fuji. It hit Tachibana with an ache when he realized how similar the two of them were--and that was why he had balked at getting to know Ibu. He had been completely unfair to Ibu and it made him feel guilty the more he recognized how similar Ibu and Fuji were.

Their hair and eye color was different sure, but their builds were similar. Slender and yet so strong. How Ibu saw the world and a tennis match with unlimited possibilities was similar to Fuji also. Every time Ibu smiled Tachibana was reminded of Fuji, especially when he smiled through his pain while the regulars were picking on him. There was a purity there in Ibu that Fuji also had despite what he had been through. Looking back, with hindsight being perfect vision, Tachibana saw it as both of them having a pure heart. Ibu would love like Fuji did. He would completely love someone who accepted him with his entire soul. Ibu had the same burning hunger to be loved that Fuji did.

They were so alike that there were times when Tachibana longed to touch him. Ibu often looked like he needed to be held and kissed and told everything would be all right. Tachibana's dirty thoughts of Ibu weren't really dirty at all. They were more about making love to him, making him cry out in pleasure or whisper Tachibana's name, and then holding him safe while he slept in his arms after. They were about making Ibu feel loved long enough to forget whatever it was that sometimes cast his face in shadow and locked his voice away into silence.

Sometimes, he had grand notions of fixing whatever it was that sometimes made Ibu look sad and lonely even in his crowd of close friends. Tachibana hadn't been there for Fuji, but he was older and a better person now. Or at least trying to be.

He could be there for Ibu...

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Learning to Land