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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Learning to Land. Chapter Eighty Nine ~Shishido~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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And then Shishido felt it too...

His erection and Ohtori's were touching.

No... more than that...

Damn it! No wonder Ohtori looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

Shishido realized that his erection seemed to be somehow...hooked around Ohtori's. Without staring or even daring to do more than glance down briefly, Shishido tried to figure out the problem.

When he was hard, Shishido's always went a little to the right and he guessed Ohtori's did too. When Ohtori grabbed him and pulled them together, all of them together, somehow Shishido's hard, sensitive skin got kind of looped around Choutarou's. His was captured between Ohtori's hard, cut stomach and the freshman's erection. Ohtori's was similarly trapped.

Shishido didn't know what to do about it to fix this, but he felt a little in awe of them. He was amazed how everything with them just kind of fit perfectly together. Even by accident, even down to what made them each male, they completely fit with each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Just like they fit in each other's arms so perfectly and naturally. They were so good together. It was as if even their bodies already knew how to fit together. Physically they matched each other perfectly, only the two of them in their heads or hearts or whatever else just hadn't quite gotten there yet.

Shishido marveled at this. Despite their differences in height, and strength, and size, they were perfect together. Even now, even down to their bodies, they complemented each other. They just...fit. Shishido didn't have any questions about them being right for each other, but he realized if he had, seeing this, his questions all would be gone. There was nothing to doubt. This was right...

...if only he could finally convince Ohtori of that.

Right then Shishido thought he was going to first have to convince Ohtori to breathe. He seriously worried that the the freshman would pass out cold like that first day when Ohtori saw Shishido across the courts. Poor Choutarou looked that stunned and upset over them being entwined.

Shishido thought he could actually hear Ohtori's heart pounding, or maybe it was his own now that they were so close. And completely touching. Everywhere. He could feel Ohtori's breath coming in shaky pants. He could feel him trembling in his arms. Shishido knew he had to act, fast.

The freshman's mouth was working on stammering out some apology when he didn't need to. Instead of waiting to hear whatever it was, he said the only thing he could think of to keep Choutarou's mouth busy while Shishido scrambled to think of some way to get them the hell out of this without Ohtori having a coronary. Shishido ordered, "Kiss me."

Ohtori finally found his voice, "B...but...ah...Sh...Shishido-san...our...um...oh god...!"

Shishido gave the freshman his most annoyed look. He hated to repeat himself, and if Ohtori didn't listen, he had no alternate plan at the moment. But before he could order him again or say anything else, Ohtori was suddenly on Shishido's mouth, passionately kissing him.

It was as if some kind of floodgates broke and shy Choutarou suddenly burst free to kiss and explore Shishido's mouth and body as he must have always wanted to. Ohtori didn't kiss him so much as he devoured Shishido's mouth. His kisses were hot, hard, deep, demanding, and they rendered Shishido unable to think any more. Hell, he could barely move except to kiss him back.

Shishido thought he had felt passion with other people before. Certainly girls and Atobe had seemed all into Shishido in the past, but he had never felt anything like this. Ohtori kissed him. His kiss felt like one of hunger, and need, and possession. He was so completely and utterly saying with his body and soul that he was Shishido's and that he wanted more. It made Shishido want to never stop and his body reeled with sensation. He felt Ohtori hot and wet and hard up against him, wanting him back, and needing to touch Shishido more.

Needing but unable because his arms were busy--Ohtori was basically still holding him up off the shower floor.

Shishido could feel Ohtori's heat and hardness right up against his own. He felt a throbbing pulse between them that felt like Choutarou's heart beating hard, or maybe it was his own because Shishido's heart was pounding like he was running hard laps again.

Choutarou kissed him everywhere he could reach. It was a blur of lips and tongue and raw pure desire. The freshman took a step forward still holding him up and pressed Shishido's spine against the back of the shower. The frenzy behind Choutarou's heat and lust felt so hot and sexy it was maddening. Shishido felt the freshman's erection diamond hard and right up against him there, locked against his own. Choutarou's hands were somehow freed and now touched and wandered feverishly all over Shishido's skin. Caressing... Searching... Feeling... His strong, big hands touched all over Shishido's chest and back and arms and even down to his hips. But no lower. Adorably no lower.

And lower...their bodies stayed locked together.

Choutarou began to rhythmically make these tiny rocking movements as he kissed Shishido. Just these little pulses driving them more and more together with his hips. Shishido didn't even think Ohtori was aware he was doing it, but gods he didn't want him to stop. Ohtori turned on and lost like this and the small millimeter by millimeter slide of their swollen sensitive flesh moving together made Shishido shudder wanting more.

It was tempting, oh gods... it was really so damn tempting to just consider letting go. Even more than when Atobe had been trying to force Shishido to kiss him a billion years earlier, Shishido thought if he could just come right now with Ohtori then maybe he could think and be reasonable again. Then he could go back to being responsible and rational. It wasn't his fault after all that his little brother was so unbelievably hot and hard and passionate and oh gods...

Damn...if Ohtori didn't just bite his collarbone after kissing down his neck...

Shishido shivered. He sucked in his breath to try to stifle a moan and forced himself to hold in what would have sounded like a whimper of want as Ohtori softly now nipped at his throat and then his earlobe.

It was something Shishido liked to do and fantasized about but had never really done. Girls didn't like when Shishido kissed them too hard or too deep, so biting was out of the question. Girls never made any marks on Shishido's skin--not even when he asked them to. They looked at him in horror as if he wanted them to damage a rare painting or sculpture when he only really asked them to be a little more aggressive. Hell, most girls just lay there like a dead cold stone, so anything more than that was nice. And Atobe, well he liked to make marks more than he would have appreciated receiving any. There was no sting behind the love bites Atobe left behind. Not like this.

Just the idea of it turned Shishido on. There was something about tasting your lover's skin. Feeling their pulse quicken under your lips and tongue. Making them your own with your mouth and teeth to mark them as yours. Kissing and loving the sting away after. Thinking about doing it with Choutarou made Shishido have to close his eyes for a second. He heard himself moan softly and felt his body slip slightly as his grip on Ohtori weakened.

One of Choutarou's strong, muscular thighs pressed and basically pinned Shishido up against the back wall. Shishido had been trying to hold himself up with his arms around Ohtori's shoulders and his legs were wrapped still around Ohtori's where they had ended up after Ohtori saved him from falling. Now finally Shishido's hands were free to move because all his weight now rested on Ohtori's thigh. His butt was basically resting off the floor on Choutarou's hard leg muscles. He was on Ohtori's wet and naked leg. The very same one Shishido had slid his hand along just a little while ago, which in itself was pretty damn hot...

Ohtori's right arm moved around Shishido's back securing him and keeping him from slipping even with their skin wet and beaded with moisture. The shower water, warm and soft, sensually flowed over and down the few spaces left between the two of them. Choutarou's left hand was in Shishido's wet hair. It was wrapped around the back of Shishido's head and busy pulling their mouths together demandingly for another long, hot kiss.

Shishido was stunned by how hot Ohtori was, how sexy and lusty the freshman could be. He was so surprised that Shishido only then realized he wasn't really moving. He was barely kissing Ohtori back even. He was being much more passive than he liked or wanted to be so with his hands now freed, Shishido broke the kiss.

It occurred to him that this was probably what Ohtori wanted. For him to let go and stop holding back. Hell, he'd know in a minute... Shishido put his hands on Ohtori's face and took control.

Shishido pulled their faces together, kissed Ohtori back hard, and raked his teeth over the freshman's tongue, making him give one of his little whimper-moans. It didn't matter that Ohtori was holding him off the ground or was stronger or was the one leading at first, the moment Shishido took control, Ohtori yielded completely. The freshman melted into him and went from aggressively and hotly kissing Shishido everywhere to allowing Shishido to have his way and do what ever he wanted.

Damn that was hot. Shishido growled back a moan and kissed Ohtori again, even harder.

The freshman matched Shishido's touch, his ferocity, his need, and his passion. Shishido kissed him greedily and forcefully and Choutarou encouraged him with all of his body. Ohtori's desire and strength equaled Shishido's so for once, there was no need to hold back. He was hard and rough and demanding and Ohtori seemed to love it.

Shishido bit Choutarou's bottom lip softly before sucking on it and then let it go. Ohtori whimpered in pleasure and as Shishido kissed him, he made these sexy little noises. He made these small guttural whimpers and moans that matched the non-stop little driving thrusts of Ohtori's hips. And through it all, again and again Choutarou offered his mouth willingly to the onslaught of Shishido's kisses. Shishido growled with lust, but it turned into a moan when Ohtori shockingly ran a fingertip roughly over one of Shishido's nipples.

Oh gods! Shishido did it back to him but his fingers pinched Choutarou's hard nipple softly. He stopped kissing Ohtori long enough to see his reaction. Choutarou whimpered and his eyes closed in pleasure. Before his eyes were even open again though he offered his lips to Shishido, never wanting to stop.

They were both so completely lost in each other that for a moment Shishido forgot and let go. He lost himself to the sensations and felt his hips start matching Ohtori's small thrusts. Just a few more moments of this, a very few of kissing Ohtori like this...being touched like this...being wanted like this...these little driving thrusts...Shishido knew he would come if this didn't stop soon without a hand ever touching him. He could feel it building up in himself and figured Ohtori had to be feeling the same way--which was even hotter.

Shishido imagined he could feel it building and increasing throughout Ohtori's body, and hell, Shishido didn't need to imagine it much. He could see how much Ohtori wanted this. Wanted Shishido to go on. Wanted more. Just a few more of those small rocking thrusts, and those damn sexy little whimper-moans from Choutarou, and Shishido would forget everything but how amazing this felt. They both would. This had been hours, no...days of them teasing and touching each other with no release.

And none in sight.

Shishido valiantly fought the swell of passion to regain control. His breath came in ragged pants as Shishido broke the kiss and pulled back. A very sexy line of spit linked their lips. Ohtori looked at him confused and reached forward with his mouth to keep the connection. Choutarou wanted to go on and was still completely carried away with the heat.

But, Ohtori needed him. Shishido knew it from somewhere deep inside himself. Ohtori needed him to be strong and Shishido cared enough to be there for him and not let him down. Shishido cared so much about him that he vowed again to take things slow. He would let things progress as they needed to for the freshman to be comfortable and secure. A moment of lust could lead to regrets and Shishido didn't want either of them to ever have any. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt Choutarou. Shishido softly kissed him once, twice, three times to reassure him, but he tried to keep the kissing in control so he didn't get tempted again.

But someday, Shishido promised himself and Ohtori too in his mind, someday they would be carried away again like this and loving it without any worries or reasons to hold back. But not yet. It was way too soon and on top of everything else, Shishido didn't want to feel bad if this burst of passion was because Ohtori earlier had taken a beta-whatever pill. Someday there would be no need for any of that. Someday Ohtori would feel as good and as certain about them as Shishido did.

His arms were around Ohtori's neck as if he were the girl and Shishido didn't even care. With Atobe he would have, but with Ohtori stupid things like that didn't even matter. Especially not when Choutarou was holding him close, wanting more, and for right now not embarrassed.

They were both panting. If Ohtori reached for him again, Shishido realized he might not be able to hold back a second time. He felt like he had to say something or Ohtori might either go for him again or fall into his over-active tendency to worry and feel self-conscious. He didn't want Ohtori to blame himself for Shishido stopping. Shishido said and heard his own voice low and husky with raw want, "Damn. You are so sexy, baby. You drive me crazy in the nicest ways. Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

Shishido tried to tamp down the surge of jealousy that rose up when he said it. He was rewarded with a smile.

The shy freshman's smile started out tentative but quickly turned wider and more comfortable. More secure. More real. Ohtori looked at him as if he adored him in that way Shishido really liked, "From you, Shishido-san..."

It was a perfect response, and Shishido half-smiled. Shishido thought to himself that really, as they got closer and more time went by, Ohtori was becoming more his. It was a very nice thought. He smiled, "None of this is bad, baby. I don't want you to worry about anything. This happening is not a bad thing. You catching me when I was fell is not bad or anything that happened, okay? Nothing to worry about. This is amazing. It's all good. You are amazing. I want you, Choutarou. You can see and feel how much I like you and want you, right?" The end of that came out in a growl of lust.

Damn. This wasn't working out well. If Choutarou kissed him--or better yet bit him again...oh gods...

Shishido was not going to be able to resist. He had to take control. First thing first.

Shishido smiled, "Choutarou? I'm going to move. I won't look. I'll just step down so we can finish our shower and get to bed, okay? It's getting late and I might still have a match tomorrow. I want to sleep with you...in my bed." Shishido added the last part quickly. He hoped it was calming to Ohtori. Shishido felt like he was trying to talk a wild creature out of the woods just after it had gotten skittish. And the hell of it all was neither one of them really wanted to stop. And him saying the I want to sleep with you part made Shishido's body scream at him for stopping just as a really hot image of them not stopping flashed through his mind.

It seemed to go okay for a second or two and then Ohtori's brain must have kicked in. He turned red in record time and one of his arms that had been nicely around Shishido suddenly let go and he covered his erection. But they weren't separated yet, so this time, Choutarou trapped Shishido's erection under his big hand too.

Shishido heard a small whimper come out of his own mouth at the sudden feel of Ohtori's hand, warm and strong, touching him there. He had a wild urge to let go and kiss him again. To kiss him and grind the both of them together and thrust into Ohtori's warm, wet hand and then hell, they could take it from there. Shishido wondered if he lost the control that he had just wrestled back, if they both did, if Ohtori would be able to deal with it after.

He decided he couldn't risk it although it was so damn tempting. Instead, Shishido put his hand over Ohtori's and gently moved it away. He thought to himself they may as well get this over with. Ohtori was embarrassed but like those soft hairs on his back, Shishido figured once he saw and accepted whatever it was, Choutarou would be fine with it after.

Shishido was curious as hell anyway. Maybe Ohtori was circumcised and it was just something like that. Shishido wasn't. He hadn't ever seen a guy that was other than a few photos, but hell, it wasn't like he saw a lot of guys when they were hard or looked around much. Shishido knew guys checked him out in the locker room, he could usually feel people looking at him, but he wasn't normally the kind of guy who was looking back. Or looking around checking everyone else out. It just wasn't how he was.

After he gently moved Ohtori's hand away, Shishido put his hand where Ohtori's had been. The freshman whimpered softly at being touched or maybe because he was so mortified. He seemed so embarrassed Shishido worried that he might actually drop to the ground like a stone again. Sure, Ohtori hadn't done that since he first saw Shishido, but who knew what might happen?

Ohtori said even softer, almost a whisper, "Shishido-san, I...I don't like that part of my body either..."

Okay, Shishido knew he was no brain surgeon but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out any guy who doesn't like this important part of his body is bound to be painfully shy. But he had no idea why Ohtori wouldn't like it. Some girls he dated hadn't liked their bodies--especially though between their legs seemed to make them horribly embarrassed. They would tell him to not kiss or touch them because it was dirty. They seemed to be ashamed of themselves and anything sexual to girls like that always seemed to be dirty and bad.

Shishido hated it. It was ridiculous. Maybe it was some stupid thing like that. He hoped not, but at the same time, he hoped it wasn't something worse. Like maybe something bad had happened to him when he was a kid or something.

"Why? It feels alright to me." Shishido shrugged. His hand rested on Ohtori's erection but he didn't dare move. He really didn't get any feel for it other than it was hot, hard, and huge. Ohtori was a big guy and that applied everywhere. Shishido wasn't sure how big and sort of wanted to know without putting his hand around Ohtori's hard length to test his girth. To distract him Shishido asked, "Touch me too?"

Slowly, Ohtori reached out and with only a second of hesitation put his hand softly, too softly, on Shishido. It made them finally separate with a sexy slide of seductive sensation before Shishido felt his hardness encased more completely in Ohtori's warm, wet hand. Shishido shivered and he thought he felt Ohtori do the same as he wrapped his hand around Ohtori's length.

The freshman made one of those little whimper-moans. He seemed to like being touched, and hell Shishido was happy with it. Although Ohtori obviously wasn't. He had at some point put Shishido down to stand on his own two feet though his back was still up against the back of the shower wall. Ohtori buried his head in the crook of Shishido's neck, "I'm s...sorry. You don't...you don't have to touch it Shishido-san. I won't be upset. I...I understand. Mine is...it...it's...it's disgusting. It's too b...big and...it...it's not like yours...yours is perfect..."

Shishido was just about to tell Ohtori he seriously needed to get over his whole 'Shishido is perfect thing' when the freshman went on, "My b..best friend, he likes to joke that mine's...mine's too big and that it's...it's like a...a horse's...and...he used to joke that mine was d...dirty because...because I'm not...not cir...circum..."

"I'm not circumcised, do you think mine's dirty?" Shishido asked heatedly before he thought about the consequences. Okay, so he was a little defensive about that, but who could blame him? Ohtori didn't know the hell Shishido was put through by Atobe over this. No one did because Shishido never told a soul and Atobe would never admit a flaw.

All the guys Shishido knew in his old school were not circumcised, but quite a few guys at Hyoutei, especially those with parents that often traveled to the west or who were not full Japanese were. A few were for religious reasons. Most of the guys at Hyoutei didn't seem to be, but it was something Shishido only really noticed or became aware of within the last year. And it was only because Atobe seriously considered having it done when they had been together.

Oh, he never said very much about wanting to do it out loud, in fact Atobe tried to act like it was him doing Shishido some kind of favor the whole time, but their Vice-Captain wanted to have it done. Instead of admitting it, Atobe used say he had to shine Shishido up to make him presentable to society. Shishido knew the truth though.

It was because some of the wealthiest and snobbiest seniors their freshman year had made jokes directed at Atobe--not Shishido. A lot of jokes. All about how they could tell old money from new money. They picked on everything looking for weaknesses to exploit. They started in on Atobe's clothes and mannerisms but eventually covered everything. Nothing was sacred or left out in their brutal verbal assaults on Atobe. They were vicious and while outwardly Atobe never showed any signs of being affected, Shishido knew it was far from the truth.

It affected Atobe deeply. He had never been hated before and he didn't have any idea how to handle it.

It was only one small group of seniors for the most part and a good deal of them hating him was because they were jealous of Atobe. Of his tennis skill. Of his adoration by the masses. Of his seemingly endless confidence and shameless tendency to promote his own virtues and talents. They were jealous of this freshman upstart who broke all the rules and made Hyoutei history before their eyes.

But mostly, they didn't like him because he was not one of them. Atobe was not one of the elite. And if they had their way, he never would be.

Old money, or the elite according to them, supposedly was civilized and thus circumcised. Atobe wasn't. When they discovered this, the seniors had been merciless. Even the ones who also weren't went on the attack. It was only Atobe's pride that kept him from covering himself as he stalked around the locker room naked to shower after that. No one knew how the things they said deeply hurt Atobe. No one except Shishido.

Atobe's father, while very wealthy, compared to the elite had been relatively poor back when he was a student at Hyoutei. When he was in junior high and high school, from what Shishido heard, Atobe's father had been well liked by everyone but at the same time he was very shy. Probably much like Choutarou was now, Shishido figured. Atobe's father was best friends with Jiroh's father although for whatever reason the two of them never spoke now.

Shishido knew Atobe's father and Jiroh's father both had dated his mother, and the three had once upon a time all been close friends. Something, though had happened. Blame the curse or the two friends dating one woman or whatever went on, but Shishido knew the three were not on speaking terms.

Actually Shishido's mom was furious when she found out that Shishido was friends with Keigo. There was a time when she threatened to pull Shishido out of school when Shishido was invited to attend Atobe's personal tennis camp before their freshman year. But Shishido's father for once had been the one to calm her down. Shishido's father usually let his mom make the rules and the decisions, but on this, just this one time, his father had been adamant that she let Shishido go. Still, she cautioned Shishido again and again that the Atobes were not to be trusted.

When he met Atobe's father after hearing all these rumors of his shyness from his aunt and his mother, Shishido was shocked. The once shy man was now very open and had a way of drawing people to him. Yet at the same time, he reminded Shishido of a used car salesman who sold his father a beat up car when he was a little kid. Atobe's father's confidence and bravado seemed in that way a long-time act. It didn't seem quite real or genuine.

And he had been right, but it didn't mean Atobe's father wasn't a good guy. They next met when Atobe's dad saw Shishido up at night wandering around looking for the library hoping to find something to read until dawn. It was then Shishido saw who his dad was for real.

He couldn't find the damn library because the stupid house was too damn big. Shishido had been wandering the halls looking for something to do to get his mind off his troubles since there was no way he was going to be able to sleep. He and Atobe's dad had literally bumped into each other and startled each other.

His father looked as shocked to see him as Shishido felt. Shishido apologized and explained he couldn't sleep and was looking for something to read. Atobe's father surprised Shishido when he smiled and said out of nowhere, "You look so much like your mother, except for your eyes. Your eyes are your father's. You get your warmth from him. I'm pleased you're friends with my son. He could learn a lot from you."

He was so kind and sincere that Shishido always remembered it. It had been someone saying the right thing at the right time. Atobe earlier that night accused Shishido of being cold. He was calling Shishido a china doll because he was supposedly so pretty and cold that Atobe said he may as well have been made of porcelain. It hurt even though Shishido knew this wasn't true.

Atobe was just mad because some girl called Shishido's phone earlier and confessed to him. It wasn't Shishido's fault she called, and Atobe was the one after all who insisted he answer his phone. Atobe tried to take Shishido in his mouth--a rare event, but Shishido knew he only did it to embarrass him while Shishido tried to get off the phone with the dumb girl. They had argued after, and later when Atobe pretended to apologize he didn't really mean it. He wasn't sorry. He only said a lame he was sorry they fought to try to get Shishido to fool around.

Shishido and Atobe's father talked about the tennis club and then Hyoutei. He asked how Shishido's parents were doing and they talked about that for a few minutes. Then Atobe's father offered to have the staff make him something if he was hungry or get him something to help him sleep and when Shishido said no, he walked him to the library and bid him goodnight. He was a wealthy man, and yet he could be kind.

Shishido figured maybe it was because Atobe's father worked his way up to success that he wasn't as snobby as a lot of other wealthy people. Atobe's father after he graduated from Hyoutei had made a great deal of money on the stock market. He single-handedly turned a few million into billions and yet, for the elite it was not good enough. Although Atobe's father had known their fathers, Atobe and his family were considered to be new money. Their wealth only went back a very few generations and their great wealth was new. New money was the bottom of the social pile at Hyoutei.

It burned Atobe that for all his wealth and power, there still was a group of people who snickered at him behind his back. Atobe tried to fit in with them, but just as he pursued anything he wanted, Atobe went about about it forcefully. While he was with Shishido, Atobe had tried to learn as much as he could about them and tried to adapt accordingly. Force combined with the right clothes, the right people, the right places, the right connections, and the right things can only take you so far though.

No matter how Atobe tried, he would never fit in or be accepted by them. It just was not done. He was not one of them and would never be. True, with his role of captain of the famous tennis team looming, Atobe had more status and a grudging acceptance, but he would still never be one of them. Atobe refused to accept this.

But this was Japan, not the west. People's families and their histories went back centuries and many, many generations, not less than a hundred years. Atobe's great-grandfather had been a no one. His grandfather supposedly been a very beautiful man who married well. He married a rather unattractive woman who was the only daughter of one of the oldest and most well known families. Her family even though they had the right pedigree was well to do but not wealthy enough to make up for her looks. Her father did not approve of the marriage because he felt that she was marrying only to marry and he was marrying her only for her money. Right or wrong they eloped and were never really accepted or forgiven by the elite.

Their children and their children's children paid the price. Atobe's father went to the right schools, but he had the wrong family name and not enough wealth to stand out. His son Keigo went to the right schools and had the right amount of money behind him, but he was still his father's and grandfather's and great-grandfather's son. It was not enough.

What really burned Atobe was that Shishido was accepted by them. It was mainly because of his mother, but Shishido's father happened to also be part of another elite family although they long ago went through their wealth. In fact, Shishido's father attended Hyoutei on full academic scholarship, and Shishido's family today as far as everyone knows has no wealth to speak of.

Most people think Shishido is there on the same scholarship as is father. He was offered it, but turned it down instead making another arrangement with his mother that suited him better. Everyone at Hyoutei thinks Shishido's mom never got her inheritance. So far it's been easier to comply with her wishes that no one know rather than tell them that she secretly has the money--but he will never see anything from it. He never even told Atobe.

So Shishido has no money, no real power at Hyoutei, and yet he was invited still to all the parties and social gatherings the elite held while Atobe was not. And Atobe never would be invited or included unless like his grandfather he marries one of them. Maybe not even then.

While Shishido like his father has always loved history, he has always thought all the elite stuff is crap. Another example of the rich getting richer and keeping to their own. Hell, Shishido knows half of them have semi-arranged marriages by their parents before they even hit junior high. Atobe really had little chance of becoming one of them.

Shishido never did give a damn about any of it. Elite, not elite, it didn't matter to him. Who you were as a person mattered much more than a person's pedigree or who their family was to Shishido. Hell, if he could have given Atobe his status to make him happy, Shishido would have.

But he couldn't. And it made Atobe furious whenever he thought about it. Atobe even tried to invite the elite to his parties and gatherings, but except for the ones who felt bound to go because they were tennis team members, no one went or even acknowledged his efforts. Several times Shishido tried to show the absurdity of it to Atobe. He patiently tried to explain that by constantly making gestures to reach out they would be amused--not impressed.

Atobe never listened. He kept trying to force them to accept him when he should have just let it go. Other people didn't care. Other elite really didn't think it mattered. Certainly Shishido didn't care who Atobe's great-grandfather was at all.

An even bigger problem that Shishido had also never talked to anyone about was Atobe had Ohtori's problem--just in the reverse. Atobe was only a little smaller and thinner than Shishido but he thought he was too small. Not that he said anything about it, but it was how Atobe acted that made Shishido realize over time his ego in this one area was fragile. Dangerously so. The seniors picking on Atobe really didn't help.

Shishido often thought the reason Atobe was so hard and forceful with him during sex was because he felt like he was too small. If Shishido didn't wince or bite back tears of pain during sex then Atobe must have stupidly thought that he couldn't feel him. Not that Atobe would ask or admit he thought any of this, but much of what Atobe did seemed like he was out to prove something. Atobe had to be the best from sex to being number one in tennis and it was his compensating for his perceived flaws that Shishido often thought was why their Vice-Captain was so rough and selfish with him in bed.

Had he bothered to ask, Shishido would have told Atobe that he had a nice body and looked proportional. They were still growing so who knew how big someone would get. And it didn't matter. Shishido had feelings for him, not his dick, but Atobe never asked how Shishido felt about anything.

Hell, he never once asked how badly he hurt Shishido or if he was even okay after sex. And it wasn't like he could tell Atobe his feelings about anything--especially any of that--so there was no way to talk to him about any of this. Anytime Shishido tried to mention anything about that area of his body or even if he pleasured him when Atobe was feeling self-conscious things went badly. Atobe would respond guarded and hostile and later would take his anger out on Shishido by being even rougher.

After weeks of them being deadlocked over getting circumcised, Atobe even demanded Shishido prove he cared by having it done. Atobe announced Shishido would go first. Shishido thought it was a whim and insane, but for a while Atobe really did want to have it done. Atobe said it would be Shishido shedding his poor roots like he was doing Shishido a favor. Shishido said no thank you and around then was when Atobe developed his fascination with Tezuka and anyone else he decreed was sexy and that he could "awe with his prowess". No matter how it hurt Shishido.

Hell the pain Atobe was supposedly feeling now missing him,Shishido wondered where it was when Atobe had been hurting him. He even sometimes though how furious he would feel if he did it and Atobe went off with other guys after anyway. And of course Shishido knew in his heart, Atobe would have.

Atobe especially wanted to get circumcised when he heard it could make a guy look larger. He said it to Shishido as if he were giving him a gift, 'You can look larger...' As if Shishido were the one between them who was concerned at all about it. He was pretty happy with what he had.

When Atobe was into a craze or a fad, he became obsessed. Everyone had to love what he liked or he shunned them.

Shishido had never seen a cut one hard but he heard it looked like it was when you were really hard all the time. Which sounded strange. He looked it up online worried at one point Atobe might even drug him and have a doctor do it to Shishido when he was unconscious. He was seriously afraid of it. Shishido read how you had to adjust to being too sensitive all the time. And sometimes there were infections after the surgery and there were scary pictures of ones gone wrong on the internet.

He decided no freaking way was he having it done! Atobe said he heard it was supposed to make sex feel more intense although Shishido had no idea where he was getting his information from. Atobe seemed to be fine in the physically sensitive department as it was, just not when it came to matters of the heart or love.

Atobe even decided at one point that he would be having Shishido to do it and then he would do it too. He announced he wanted them to do it together. Like it was some kind of gift Atobe was giving him. Some kind of strange romantic gesture or proof. Proof of what he had no idea.

Shishido thought the whole thing was stupid. He tried to joke his way out of it but Atobe wouldn't listen. They fought as usual. Finally Shishido had to tell him that no way was anyone going anywhere near him there with a knife! Hell, Shishido didn't even like getting a haircut so this was not going to happen. The more Shishido refused, the more abusive and cold Atobe became.

Stupid as the whole mess was, it was the one part a guy couldn't really change on himself. It wasn't like a part you could work out if you felt you were too skinny or too fat. Or if you had a big or bent nose where you could have some minor surgery to fix. It was what it was. So if all a guy's confidence was in his prowess or his penis, then you were pretty damned if you didn't feel big enough. Or were the wrong cut. Or shape. Or style. Or, Shishido's guessed in Ohtori's case, if you felt too large.

Shishido was of the opinion that you did the best you could with what you were given. He had been glad when Atobe suddenly seemed to get over it. Atobe had done some research looking for the best doctor in Japan to perform this little outpatient procedure on them--still not listening to Shishido say he refused--when he read some things he didn't like. A few news articles on a group of people suing their parents and feeling "incomplete" without their foreskins because they felt small and inadequate turned Atobe completely off. Like any other fad he went through, Atobe was over it completely after that. Just like many of his relationships or anything he got very into, Atobe got into them and over them in record time.

Atobe explained to Shishido, who didn't care at this point, although he was relieved that this fad seemed to be over, that a foreskin was supposed to make sex supposedly better for both parties when the person was not circumcised. As Atobe had read to him, it's because a small part of the skin stays inside the woman or man during sex. Shishido and he were mostly broken up by that point though, so it didn't really matter to him. In fact, they had a long time before stopped having sex--if Atobe ever bothered to ever notice. Sex with Atobe who was so worried about his "small" size had hurt enough as it was.

Ohtori was still struggling to come up with something to say to Shishido's heated remark, "N...no! Of course not! Yours...yours is perfect, Shishido-san. My friend, he...he was just joking. B...but mine is too big and it...it's all messed up. Please don't laugh at me. Please? I should...I really should have warned you...like you said. My dad is circumcised and my parents never taught me that you have to, you know, pull it back and stuff. When I was eight, my best friend showed me. His dad isn't and told him about it and my best friend told me that I had to and I...I think I did it too much. My skin sort of ripped a little and I got an infection. I...I wanted to be circumcised, like my friend and my dad, but the doctor wouldn't. He said I would wish I wasn't when I was older. He gave me these pills and this cream to put on, but I really, really wanted to be like my best friend..."

Ohtori was rambling as he did when he was nervous and he was nearly in tears, "So I...I was a kid and I did something stupid. I...I didn't put any of the cream on and I didn't take the pills and it got worse. It hurt so bad. Unbelievably bad. I...I went back to the doctor and he did cut some of my skin there off, but not a lot. Just a little bit of it. So...so now mine's all weird. It's in between and it...it's ugly! My friend used to joke about my hair that I looked like an old man, and that my...you know that it looked like a bald old man because it looks so weird. I...shouldn't have let you touch me. I should have warned you first...I'm so sorry..."

Shishido interrupted his stammering because he was annoyed. He blurted out without thinking, "Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me..." Then he realized what he said. About Ohtori's best friend who was dead.

Damn it! But really, if he didn't know he would have reacted the same way, so maybe it was an okay thing. The guy clearly had made this a much bigger issue for Ohtori. Didn't he know that you couldn't joke with Choutarou about some things? Why in the world would the guy have been such an insensitive jerk to him? Shishido insisted, "Well he doesn't sound like a very good friend. Someone saying crap like that sounds like..."

Shishido suddenly realized it sounded like crap Atobe would tease him about. Atobe could always make Shishido feel bad about the stupidest things. He would see a flaw and make a little crack a gaping crevice. Shishido after Atobe had been so nervous to sleep with a girl or seriously date one that the only girl he had sex with had been that stupid bitch Naomi while Atobe watched.

Hell, the first date he went on with a girl who asked him out after Atobe went poorly because Shishido was worried the whole time about doing and saying stupid things. At the time Shishido had been furious with himself that Atobe was still controlling him even after they were done. In his head, he heard every little put-down Atobe would have said as Shishido tried to show the girl how to play pool. The girl hadn't noticed or at least had still wanted to date Shishido again, but after Shishido had been very upset. Too upset to see her again.

All he had wanted at that moment was to be back in Atobe's arms. He even thought for a second that he wanted to be "safe" in Atobe's arms and then it hit him. Shishido realized that was the reason for the put-downs and Atobe's constant comments. It was Atobe's way of saying 'Only I like you and you can only be happy with me. Even though you're flawed like this and this and this and this...I still accept you...but no one else will--ever!'

Atobe had been able to manipulate and control Shishido even when he wasn't around. Shishido resolved at that moment to stay the hell away from Atobe for the thousandth time and eventually did get over him. Thanks he knew now mostly to Choutarou, but Shishido realized that probably Ohtori's friend had done this for control. He remembered what Ohtori said about the party he went to. His best friend getting so upset over Choutarou just kissing some girl he liked, and then Ohtori later walking in on his best friend having sex with her. It sounded a hell of a lot like something Atobe would do.

Poor Ohtori. All this had to affect him. Suddenly Shishido realized how little experience Ohtori had. No one else had ever even seen Ohtori naked, he guessed. Choutarou never had a second opinion and how he saw himself was how his best friend told him he was.

When Choutarou said he learned to kiss like that from Shishido, Ohtori wasn't really saying what he though his senpai wanted to hear. He was even more adorably being honest and sincere. Shishido felt so much for him for a moment that he closed his eyes.

Although at the same time, Shishido was angry. Even though he was certain Ohtori's best friend, like Atobe, was probably not completely aware of what he was doing with the jokes and the put-downs, the damage was done. Ohtori's mortification was proof of that. It had taken a long time for Shishido to undo Atobe's damage because he had done it all alone. He wouldn't let Choutarou recover alone. Hell no. Not when he could help him right here and now. "It sounds like someone who made jokes to hurt your feelings so you would be too upset to ever leave him. And I know how that feels. It feels terrible. You have to know that I would never make fun of you, Choutarou. I would never laugh at you. Never, baby."

"I know that. I...I do know that, but my friend...he...he didn't mean it. He was just joking around, Shishido-san. He...he didn't know it bothered me. I...I never told him, so he never knew..." Ohtori, completely miserable, buried his face deeper into Shishido's neck.

"But I can see that it bothered you. The things he said. He was wrong to say things like that to you, Choutarou. Wrong to make jokes like that. I don't doubt that you were close or that he cared about you, but he was wrong to hurt you." Shishido held him with his hand and had his other arm around the freshman.

Ohtori was so tense he was standing rigidly against him. They stood that way for a long time with the water running over them.

Shishido held him close until he felt Ohtori relax, slightly. Softly he asked, "Baby, let me see? Please?"

Ohtori didn't answer for a long moment. Finally, just when Shishido thought he was going to have to sweet-talk and ask him more to get him to agree, the freshman nodded against his neck.

Shishido looked down his body. The light from the candles was too dim to really see. With his hand still covering Ohtori, he got on his knees and grumbled in his head over how much stupid Gakuto would make fun of him--of both of them if he could see them now.

Shishido moved his hand away--and looked...

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Learning to Land