Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Loss and Redemption	By : hawker748 Category: +G to L > Love Hina Views: 24929 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Disclaimer: See Prologue.

Any comments, complaints, complements, flames, and credit
card numbers can be sent to: hawker_748@hotmail.com
Feedback and reviews would be greatly appreciated.

Once again, I would like to thank all reviewers for the
feedback that was provided.

This fanfic is based on the manga and anime and
borrows facets from both of them.

�*� Spoken words

�*� Thoughts

Love Hina

Loss and Redemption

Chapter 8: Interlude: Shinobu�s Decision

By: hawker_748

Shinobu Maehara had not had an easy life. Problems with
her parents had forced her to live at the Hinata House at a far too young age.
When she had first arrived there, she had been shy and hardly ever talked to
anyone. Gradually, she had opened up and eventually discovered that the other
residents were the closest things she had ever had to a real family.

The first time the other residents had allowed her to cook
for them, she put all of her effort into it, desperate for both praise and a
role in the household. When the residents had unanimously lauded her cooking
she had felt like she was on top of the world. Her parents, while not cruel,
had never given her the support that she had craved.

Receiving it from the residents had bonded her to them
more than to her own parents. She felt as though she had found a purpose and a
home. She was still a little lonely, but she was mostly content with what she
had. Her life was pleasant enough, if a little boring. But on one fateful day
her entire life changed, for better or for worse.

Her first view of Keitaro Urashima, like that of the other
residents, had not been a flattering one. He had gone into the women�s bath,
not realizing that Hinata House was a girls dorm, not a hotel. When Naru had discovered
him, she�d flipped out and he�d bolted. He�d already encountered Kitsune and Su
before it was her turn. She�d heard the commotion, walked into the hallway and
come face to face with a naked Keitaro, who had a pair of her panties on his
head. Hardly a stellar first impression.

They�d all pursued him to the roof, trapped him, and
exacted righteous fury over his peeping. Only after this had they learned thae wae was the cousin of the housemother Haruka Urashima. Like all of the other
residents, Shinobu had been amazed when she�d learned that he was a student at
Tokyo University. She�d gotten over her shock and had even developed a small
crush on him when he�d helher her with her homework and praised her cooking.

Keitaro was the first boy that Shinobu had found herself
interested in, and he was a Tokyo University student as well. He seemed to be
such a nice guy that he was virtually perfect in her eyes. First crushes can be
intense emotional experiences for some girls and Shinobu was no exception. She
had come to care for him in such a short time that she had no idea how quickly
things could change. To Shinobu, being around Keitaro meant that all was right
with the world.

She had been walking on air when he�d told her that she
could get into Tokyo University, just like him, if she worked hard. His
apparent kindness had made her feel wonderful, and that meant that when they
all learned the truth about his ronin status, she was absolutely crushed. She�d
given him her trust and he�d betrayed her.

She�d opened up to a complete stranger and he�d proceeded
to tap-dance all over her feelings. She�d resented him for that and it was made
even worse when he became the live-in manager of Hinata House. Shortly after
that, he�d fallen into the women�s bath and saw her naked. It had been an
accident, but it had still happened, and it made her feel about two inches
tall. She had then started to go out of her way to avoid him; leaving the room
when he entered, rebuffing all attempts at conversation, and basically pretending
that he wasn�t there.

Keitaro had managed to talk to her when she was picking up
groceries that HE had caused her to drop. She took his words of praise and
threw them back in his face. She�d let out all of the bitterness and resentment
she�d built up and given it to him broadsides. She had taken a guilty pleasure
in how devastated he�d looked afterwards. She had enjoyed how miserable she had
made him feel, mainly because it made her own depression seem not quite as bad.

No wonder then, that she was stunned to learn that Keitaro
had realized that it was her birthday, and had arranged a small surprise party
for her to celebrate. She�d spewed venom at him and he�d still tried to cheer
her up. He�d apologized for everything that he�d done, promised to try like
hell to get into Tokyo University, and asked her to smile again.

Just like that, all of the bad feelings she�d had towards
him evaporated. The initial stirrings of a crush returned with a vengeance and
she�d warmed up to him again. True, he did accidentally pull a pair of her
panties out of his sleeve when he�d handed her his present. This had resulted
in her running away crying and him getting walloped by the other residents, but
this time her sadness passed quickly and her crush remained.

***

Shinobu�s feeling for Keitaro grew with each passing week;
she�d tried to keep them secret, as she was aware that he liked Naru, but in
her naivet�, she had no idea that her feelings were obvious. Obvious to
everyone but Keitaro that is, who seemed to view Shinobu as a younger sister or
cousin.

Shinobu always tried to be there for Keitaro, making him
chocolate for Valentine�s day, following him when he and Naru went away after
failing the Tokyo University entrance exams. She�d even helped try to keep Naru
from meeting up with Seta again, even though she figured it might �free up�
sempai.

When the entire Hinata House residency went to the coast
for the summer, she�d pretended to drown in order to have Keitaro �save� her
and feel better. But at the last second she�d panicked and lashed out blindly,
nailing him in the groin. It had made him forget about all of his troubles for
a while, but he wouldn�t have recommended it as an anti-depressant method to
anyone.

She�d spent time with him at the festival when he and Naru
had gone through one of their many rough spots. As much as she had enjoyed
spending time with him, she�d encouraged him to try to work out his differences
with Naru. Sometimes she wondered if she was too selfless for her own good, as
she was always trying to help Keitaro and Naru get together.

When Mutsumi had come onto the scene, she�d been
intimidated by the older woman�s figure, as hers was still quite modest. This
combined with the fact that Mutsumi also seemed to be interested in Keitaro made
Shinobu feel as though she had no chance of winning Keitaro, and she�d resigned
herself to that fact.

Until Keitaro, Motoko, and Naru had come back from that
challenge.

Everything had changed with that; Naru was angrier with
Keitaro than she�d ever been, and Keitaro and Motoko were reluctantly married
to each other. It seemed that neither was interested in him, and an opportunity
for Shinobu to be with Keitaro appeared to have materialized overnight.

When Tsuruko�s second challenge was revealed, Shinobu felt
like a condemned man getting a reprieve from the governor. She now had a window
of opportunity; she�d support him, be there for him, and after the year was
over Motoko wouldn�t be interested in him, Naru was gone, and her return was
uncertain. In a year she�d be a little older, probably a bit more developed,
and Keitaro would notice her in a romantic light, she was sure of it!

However, her conscience saw things differently. It had
been telling her that Keitaro still cared for Naru and that it was wrong for
her to try to �steal� Keitaro. She�d managed to push that thought aside, but
she always remembered that, and she always had a little nagging doubt about
what she was attempting.

***

Just being there for Keitaro never caused her conscience
to complain. She remembered one of the days after Keitaro had returned from his
run and had come into the kitchen in search of a drink.

�Sempai! How did the run go today?� she asked.

�Not bad Shinobu,� Keitaro replied. He was covered with a
fine sheen of sweat and was breathing only slightly harder than normal. It was
a vast improvement from his first run, which had left him retching, gasping for
air, and praying for the end of the world.

�Did you improve your time again?� she inquired.

�Yeah, by a couple of seconds,� he answered, as he smiled
the proud smile that Shinobu loved seeing.

�That�s great Sempai! You�ll be ready for the Boston
Marathon in no time!�

Keitaro considered the idea of running twenty-six miles
ahuddhuddered slightly. �No, no, no, that�s a little too long for me.�

�O.K. But you�re still doing great sempai,� Shinobu said
as she gave him her best smile. The one that she practised in front of a mirror
every night to get it jusght.ght.

�Thank you,� Keitaro replied, Shinobu�s attempt to get him
to notice her going right over his head, as usual.

Shinobu, while discouraged by yet another failure, gamely
tried again. �I know you�ll be able to beat Tsuruko. I believe in you!�

Keitaro didn�t react to her praise the way she had hoped.
He sighed, shook his head and said, �I can�t beat her, I have no chance at
all.�

Shinobu felt her heart stop for a moment at his admission.
�But, but I don�t understand, what would you need to defeat her?�

After a few seconds consideration Keitaro replied, �Probably
a miracle.�

�Then, then, then why are you are you training sempai?�
Shinobu stammered.

�Because I don�t have to beat her, I just have to impress
her.�

�How will you do that?� Shinobu inquired.

Keitaro stopped cold at that. �You know something, I have
no idea,� he replied after a few seconds contemplation.

His candid admission didn�t encourage Shinobu, but she did
her best to not think about that. �So what will you do after you impress her?�

Keitaro didn�t answer her as he opened the fridge and pulled
out a bottle of water. Like any other guy, he didn�t bother with a glass, he
just drank right from the bottle, not noticing Shinobu�s aghast look. Leaving a
quarter inch of water in the bottle, meaning that he didn�t have to refill it,
Keitaro put it back in the fridge and said, �I don�t know. That�s too far into
the future to think about, I�ll deal with that when the time comes.�

�I see,� Shinobu replied, slightly bothered by what he sai said, and by the fact that she had also used that water bottle. Pushing this
thought out of her mind she said, �Well, good luck sempai.� He hadn�t said he�d
try to be with anyone, and she figured that this meant she still had a chance.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Keitaro said, �I�ve
gotta get cleaned up, see you later Shinobu.� He gave her one last smile and
walked out of the kitchen, unknowingly leaving a melancholy Shinobu behind.

�Why can�t he notice me, and know what I feel for him?�
she asked herself despondently.

�Because you�re too young for him, and his heart is set
on another,� her conscience replied.

�But we get along so well, why can�t he see me as more
than a little sister?� Shinobu wondered.

Her conscience seemed to shake its non-existent head. �Because
six years difference is just too much.�

Shinobu attempted to rebut that argument with an
observation she�d made about some married couples. �But some marriages have
more than twenty years difference in age!�

�True, but they were both over eighteen when it
happened. You think that he�d be willing to wait that long?�

Shinobu responded with, �Why not, he�s waited over fifteen
years for a girl he couldn�t even remember!�

Shinobu�s conscience sighed. �This is still wrong, you
know,� it said before it went away for the time being.

Deep down, Shinobu knew that her conscience was probably
correct, but she also couldn�t deny what she felt for Keitaro. So, despite some
reservations about her actions, she continued to try to get Keitaro to notice
her.

***

When Naru had returned, Shinobu felt that her chances had
improved dramatically; Naru was distant to Keitaro and Motoko was enraged at
his expression of concern for Naru. Everything seemed to be working in her
favour; both Motoko and Naru were angry at Keitaro, and she�d given him a cold
drink and some kind words when he�d gotten back from that run Motoko had forced
on him. For the first time she felt hopeful that she could make the right
impression with Keitaro.

But the very next day, he and Motoko had gone on that
picnic together and not come back for hours. And the day after that, Motoko had
taken him on a training trip. The other residents had all followed them, and
when they�d found them, Motoko and Naru had nearly come to blows. Only
intervention from Keitaro and Kitsune had prevented a fight from breaking out.

Like the others, Shinobu had been shocked by the open
display of jealousy and violence, and when Motoko had kissed Keitaro goodnight
in full view of everyone, she knew that any hope she�d had was lost. Motoko,
who was normally reserved and didn�t get emotional, had staked a very public
claim on Keitaro. The look on Naru�s face had indicated that she had wanted to
do something similar with Keitaro as well.

All the effort she�d put into supporting Keitaro, trying
to be there for him, to make him notice her, it had all been pointless. �He�ll
never see me as a love interest,� she realized despondently. �I�ll never have
his heart. I never stood a chance, did I?�

�No, you didn�t,� her conscience replied. �You�ve
always known he doesn�t love you, at least, not like how you want him to love
you.�

Shinobu felt tears beginning to well up. She didn�t want
the others to see her grief, so she rolled over onto her side with her back
facing the others, clenched her fists, bit into her blanket, and let the tears
come unnoticed.

�How do you know?� her conscience replied. �It
might have happened anyway. Even if it hadn�t, what about Naru? Do you think
she would have lost interest?�

Shinobu didn�t want to have this type of conversation, but
her conscience was smelling blood in the water. �Naru is always hurting him!�
Shinobu fired back. �I would never do anything to harm him!�

�If she was so terrible to him, why did he stay with
her?� her conscience asked reasonably.

She really didn�t like where this conversation was going.
�He, he was afraid to leave her,� she replied weakly.

�You know better than that,� her conscience
scoffed. �Again, why did he stay with her?�

Shinobu tried hard to ignore the question, but her
conscience wasn�t having any of it. It started hammering her, repeating the
question again, and again, and again, until Shinobu finally admitted the one
thing that she hadn�t wanted to. With the heaviest wave of tears in recent
memory flowing down her face, she said, �Because he loved her. Because he
wanted to be with her.�

�Yes,� her conscience replied with a sense of
finality. �You can still be with him, you know. As a friend. He values your
friendship, and it would hurt him if yook tok that away.�

�He hurt me!� Shinobu spat back, her bitterness so high it
left a bad taste in her mouth. �Why shouldn�t I hurt him?!�

Her conscience sighed, and said, �Because you�ll feel
worse if you do. It might feel good for a while, but it�ll hurt you even more
in the long run. Just be there for him like you�ve always been. It may hurt for
a while, but it will fade, and you�ll remember why you care for him. It will
get better, promise.�

Her conscience was correct, the best thing to do would be
to continue to support him, and learning to accept that he would never be hers.
Her dream was over and it was time to wake �But�But why couldn�t it have gone
the way I wanted?� With this thought, she took a deep breath and began the
process of finally letting Keitaro go. It wasn�t a joyful decision, but it was
the right one to make.

Shinobu then dried her tears and closed her eyes to try to
sleep. As she finally nodded off, she realized that she�d never see Keitaro in
the same way again, and she would never forget what she had felt for him. But
he�d still be there, and she could still be near him and that was some small
consolation. Besides, in her dreams she could still be with him, and he could
love her the way she loved him. With this thought she fell asleep, and was able
to be with Keitaro until the time came when she had to wake up.

End Chapter Eight

Coming Soon: Chapter Nine: It�s Better To Have Loved and
Lost, Than Never To Have Loved At All

I hope to have the next chapter posted in approximately a
month.

Pre-read was once again done by Harvey Bautista.

I would like to invite all readers to tell me what about
this story they have found interesting, confusing, enjoyable, or disagreeable.
Feel free to email me your response, or post it in the feedback section.
- 8
- 9
- 10
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Loss and Redemption