The Spring Of Drowned Thief

It was the weekend again, and every one seemed tired with the combination of school and work. Well, every one but Shampoo, who seemed to be lounging around these days. It was nice that she wasn’t trying to kill Ranma any more, and she even came off as a really nice person, but she still seemed a bit heated about being on the bottom of the list in the harem. On the other side of the spectrum was Akane, whom seemed to be having it the roughest. She’d been keeping her grades up, yet when she was at work it was nothing but failure. Pierre was a perfectionist when it came to cooking and had standards that went far beyond Akane. She had been coming home stressed and all she seemed to do now is eat and sleep. Ryouga was also coming home drained, but it wasn’t from the hard labor of the construction site, it was all the catching up in school he had been doing. He usually came home with a headache and not vary talkative. The only one that didn’t seem to be having any trouble was Ranma. Ranma had developed some legitimate work at the Kuno estate. He dropped the restraining order against Kuno and turned girl, to ask for a job. It was obvious that Kuno had the hots for his red head queen, and having her working in his house as an overpaid part time maid, was his way of getting closer to her as well as apologize for the previous encounters.

Every one sat at the table tired with the exception of Ranma and Shampoo. Ranma was feeling like talking, but he didn’t know who to talk to. So he tried his best friend. “Hey Ryouga. We don’t see you enough, how’s work treating you?”

Ryouga just shrugged his shoulder, but didn’t bother speaking. He looked like hell and probably felt worse. His brain was hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he just stuck to extreme silence, while his badly battered brain repaired itself. Ranma didn’t feel like forcing him to talk so he took his attentions over to his fiancé. “How about you Akane? How’s the apprentice, cook thing going?”

Akane bowed her head and seemed ready to cry. It was tearing her apart. Pierre was clearly yelling at her all the time by the way she reacted to the question. She seemed to be of heavy heart these days, and usually went to bed right after dinner. It was a sad sight in Ranma’s eyes. ‘Damn. Nothing seems to be working out for these guys.’

Ranma went into thinking mode and was going over various things he could do. ‘I know they got the ability to do it, but they just don’t seem to have the will… I guess I can always lend a secret helping hand… I guess I’ll take the day off school tomorrow.’

Dinner finished in the same silence it started, and every one seemed more then ready to go to bed early in the evening. As every one made their way upstairs, Shampoo looked at Ranma with a big smile. “Tomorrow Great Grandmother is here! You come see her right?”

Ranma waved a hand and a smile. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll go meet her with you.”

Shampoo bounced off making a bit of noise, but every one seemed used to it by now. But there was still one thing that every one was unsure of. Akane now had a queen-size bed in her room, and it was meant to accommodate four people. Every one in the room usually stood at the door for a few seconds before breathing in, sighing, and getting into bed. It always felt weird, and Shampoo was always the first one to go to sleep. Akane did her best to stay close to Ranma, but the morning was usually undefined. Ryouga slept like a log and lay with no real direction, but the morning always did seemed defined. Ranma was almost getting used to Ryouga latching onto him in the middle of the night, but some times he got Shampoo. She seemed a bit more inviting and less violent about the attention.


After every one was asleep at about two in the morning, Ranma woke up and went to work. He slithered out of the bed, completely unnoticed and went towards his locked storage chest. He picked it up with out a sound and went to a more secluded room. Once in the bathroom, he opened it up and started his rummage through the mess of his travels. ‘Where did I put that incense…? Ah ha! Perfect! Now I’ll just take this into our room and let the aromas flow.’

Ranma lit the sticks with the flick of his wrist, and headed back with the sweet smell filling the room. He watched the gentle mists fill the air and soon he started speaking words and low as he could. He chanted a small group of words that were foreign to all, and soon a gentle blue glow filled the room. The three on the bed breathed in the air and even in their sleep, they seemed to look full of energy and spirit. Ranma moved his hands in a few key strokes and soon the smoke was gathered into a pot. ‘Now that the Energy Incense is in place, time for the next step.’

Ranma put his things away and put every thing back in place. He made his way down stairs and stretched out on the couch, pulled up a blanket and was ready for a spell. ‘Now for my excuse… I’m going to regret this in the morning…’ He closed his eyes and crossed his hands, and started speaking those strange words again. Black ooze seemed to crawl up his body and surround him. It started up his legs, and quickly to his stomach. Once it was past his chest, he took a deep breath and let it cover his face. The goop seemed to merge with him and seep into his body until it could be seen no more. When he was done he half opened his eyes, and let his body sway in a drunken state. His eyes glazed over and he hit the couch, fast asleep.


Akane had to admit that waking up in the morning next to some one holding her was always a nice thing to feel first thing in the morning. It only caused her a bit of discomfort when that person holder her wasn’t Ranma, but over the last week, she’d gotten used to waking up with either Ryouga, or Shampoo taking Ranma’s place. Ryouga was becoming a good friend, and she was pretty sure he knew that she was gay for the most part, so an occasional cuddle for comfort was to be expected from a good friend that was always there. She also didn’t mind it when he came to bed as a pig either. She protested a bit at first, but when it came down to it, he was just too cute as a piglet. Shampoo, she didn’t mind that much either, but she couldn’t help but notice Shampoo forcing herself to do it. Sure she thought Shampoo was hot and all, but Shampoo wasn’t like Akane and must have felt some sort of obligation to do it, since every one was now ‘married.’ Nothing beat Ranma though. When Ranma was a guy, he would hold her and give her that feeling of being protected, but as a girl, Akane could return the favor of comfort to her. In a sense, it was all because Ranma could be either, big or small with just a little bit of water.

Akane rolled over with a strong feeling of being refreshed, to look for a piece of that class ‘A’ snuggle material. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to let the sunlight in so she felt around with her hands. ‘Soft… boobs… Nope too big, that’s Shampoo. What’s over here…? Hard as a rock… Maybe… What’s up here? Nope, that’s a bandana.’

Akane let her eyes open and she rubbed out the sleep in her eyes and gave a quick look for Ranma. She was disappointed to see that he was missing from the bed. ‘Oh, well… Must have gotten up early… Hmmm. Smells like breakfast downstairs.’

Akane was out of bed in record time and feeling great. She stretched out with a smile on her face and went down stairs with a bounce in her step, to see what was cooking leaving the other two behind to dream just a little bit longer. Once at the bottom she saw Kasumi moving between the kitchen and living room with a teakettle. “Good morning sis.”

Kasumi stopped and gave her sister a smile. “Oh, good morning Akane. I don’t think Ranma can go to school today, I think he’s come down with some thing.”

Akane scratched her head and headed towards the living room. “Ahh, he’s probably just hamming it up again. It can’t be all that serious.”

Kasumi tilted her head in thought. “You think so?”

She was responded with a scream coming from the living room, which was followed up with Ryouga and Shampoo shooting down stairs in concern. Ryouga was the first in the living room. “WHAT’S WRONG AKANE!?”

Akane pointed towards the couch with a shaky finger. Shampoo came up behind Ryouga and they both made their way over to the couch. As they looked over the seat they were greeted with a horrid sight. “AIYA! What wrong with Ranma!?”

Ranma was covered in an alarming amount of spots and was a tint of green that only frogs could envy. To say it looked like he was run over by a truck repeatedly was somewhat of an understatement. The look in Ranma’s eyes gave every one the impression that he was damn near dead. Beside the couch was a small mountain of tissue that overflowed a wastebasket. The moist cloth on his head seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him from complete dehydration.
Ryouga leaned down and gave him a poke, which was returned with a low groan and a cough. “What the heck happened to you?”

Ranma made a sound that could usually be heard in zombie movies. Kasumi came into the room with a second blanket for Ranma. “Oh, my! Please don’t make him talk. His throat has swollen up. I’ll be taking him to the clinic to see doctor Tofu today.”

Ranma made the zombie sound again, and one could only assume it was a positive response. Akane knelt down beside him and looked up at Kasumi. “I think I’ll stay home today as well…”

Ranma’s eyes widened a bit, and he started waving his hands and made the low moaning sounds in what could be made out to be protest. Akane caught on a bit but asked any ways. “Are you sure…? I mean I wouldn’t want you to-“

Kasumi interrupted her sister. “I think Ranma doesn’t want any one to catch his cold. Isn’t that right Ranma?”

Ranma gave thumbs up and went back to his agony. Akane shook her head and protested. “This is a bit more then a cold sis. This looks REALLY serious.”

Kasumi looked down at Ranma and dabbed his head a few times with a wet cloth. “Do you really think so Akane…? Ranma told me he would feel better tomorrow and that it was just a small stomach bug.”

Shampoo picked up Ranma’s hand and dropped it. His arm fell in the same style of a rag dolls and gave off a sloppy wet smacking sound when it hit the couch. “He really sick, but great Grandmother know what to do. She know every thing! But she no be here until evening…”

Kasumi started pushing every one out of the room and into the dinning room. “Now I don’t want any of you to fret over Ranma. He said he was going to be fine and that he didn’t want any one to miss school or work over him. Ok? I’ll take care of him.”

Every one sighed, but nodded. “Good. Now I’ve made breakfast, so hurry up or you’re all going to be late.”


Ryouga and Akane were off to school and Kasumi had sent Shampoo off on some errands, which would consume most of her day. Kasumi poked into the living room where Ranma was busy dying and said in a low secretive voice. “Ok, they’re gone.”

Ranma moaned a sigh of relief and started coughing up a raspy chant. After a bit of struggle, there was a white wind surrounding him and as the currents flowed across his face he seemed to returning to his original color. The winds died down he took a deep breath, and shot up off of the couch. “Thank god that’s over!”

“Oh, my! You really can use magic! Now can you please tell me what this is all about?”

Ranma collected himself the best he could and stood up to look at Kasumi. “That’s an easy question to answer. We’re going to help Ryouga and Akane today”

Kasumi shook her head. “I’m not sure if I know what you mean?”

“Well, I’m sure you noticed those two coming home completely drained lately right?” Kasumi nodded in response and Ranma continued. “Well, with Akane she’s having a rough time at work, while Ryouga is struggling with school. I’m going to give them both a helping hand today. I’ve also given them Energy Incense last night, so they’re going to be full of vitality for today.”

“Oh, my. This sounds like it’s going to be difficult. How are we going to help them with out them knowing?”

Ranma snapped his fingers and gave her a smile. “I know these two well enough to know that they have the abilities to over come their problems, but they just need a little boost to help them go all the way. I’m going to dive into their minds today and remove those mental blocks that prevent them from succeeding.”

Kasumi put a hand over her mouth and asked. “Can you really do that for them!? Oh, it would be so wonderful of you!”

Ranma scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Yeeeeaaaaahhhh, well I’m just looking out for my friends, its nothing really.”

Kasumi came close and gave Ranma a hug. “You’re really sweet, you know that?’

Ranma blushed beat red and responded with a grin. “Yeah, well I’ve never been one to brag, but yeah, I know.”

Kasumi let go and smiled at him. “So what must we do first?”

Ranma went into his thoughts for a few seconds and put a hand on his chin. “Well, nothing right now. Right now we’re focusing on Ryouga and Akane comes later when she’s at work. Ryouga doesn’t have any thing hard until after lunch, so I guess we can wait for now. I need to go see Dr. Tofu this morning any ways.”

Kasumi didn’t wait for an explanation on why, but she just gave a smile and went straight into the kitchen. “Oh, my. I hope…errr I wonder if he forgot to pack a lunch again. I better make some thing special for him today, just in case.”

Ranma just smiled and shook his head. ‘Talk about going nuts over each other. Sheesh. At least SHE doesn’t attempt to kill me when around him.’


Ranma decided to play it sick and go to the clinic in his favorite wheelchair. Kasumi didn’t mind pushing him because he was the one holding the lunch for Dr. Tofu. “Ya know Kasumi. I never knew it was even possible that some one could stuff and cook and entire turkey dinner in less than one hour. In fact it’s absolutely amazing.”

Kasumi put her hand over her mouth and said, “Oh, my. I hope he likes it. Maybe its not big enough for him….?”

Ranma sighed and shook his head as they came up to the clinic doors. “It’s a 36 pound turkey that was cook gourmet style. I’m pretty sure he’ll have enough for this sitting...”

“I hope so….”

‘SIGH’


They came through the doors to the clinic of Doctor Tofu’s office. It was another slow morning, but Ranma did make an appointment to come in this time, so it was to be expected. Ranma also came in with a plan. “Hey Kasumi, could you surprise the doctor with this after my check up?”

Kasumi laughed a little and looked a little gitty. “He, he. You think I should? You’re right! I bet he loves surprises!”

With that Kasumi made herself scares and decided to beef up the turkey dinner some more. ‘Woo! Now that I’ve ensured my life for another 20 mins, time to go see Tofu while he’s sane.’ Ranma parked the wheelchair and walked over to Tofu’s desk. “Hiya doc. I heard my results came in.”

Tofu looked up and with a smile answered Ranma. “Ahh, good you’re here. I think your results might not be to your liking though. Please come into the back, and I’ll show you.”

Ranma frowned a bit and went with the doctor. Once inside with a closed door, the doctor pulled up a few charts. The doctor adjusted his glasses and started pointing to a few points on the charts. “As you can see here Ranma these are the two different samples of blood we took. And it turns out we were right. You have two sets of blood when ever you change.”

Ranma bowed his head and asked in a bit of monotone. “Does this mean what I think it means doc?”

The doctor bowed his head and looked back to the charts. “I’m afraid so. Your body is producing both male, and female hormones. Why it isn’t effecting both your forms I can only guess, but I can assume that is why your thoughts seem off these days.”

Ranma shook his head. “I’m pretty sure it’s the magic of the springs that is preventing either of my bodies to change with the imbalance. But yeah, it’s affecting my mind.”

Tofu adjusted his glasses once again, and bowed in condolence. “I’m sorry, but we’re running on nothing more then theories here, I haven’t exactly got experience in this kind of thing. It’s completely new to me.”

Ranma looked down with a blank stare. “I’m not blaming you for any thing doc. If any thing you went above and beyond for me, besides, in a way things are starting to make a lot of sense to me now. I’m just not sure how the others are going to take it.”

Tofu put a hand on Ranma’s shoulder. “They will not think any thing less of you. They are your friends. I can’t see Akane or Ryouga rejecting you because of this. If any thing, they’ll accept it and help you with every step of the way.”

“It’s just going to be difficult to explain. I’m not sure if I want to do that to them.”

Tofu looked long and hard into Ranma’s eyes. “What’s going to be hard to explain? Just tell them the truth.”

Ranma looked down and shook his head. “I think you’re misunderstanding me here doc. I love Akane and all and I know she’ll stick with me, no matter what. It’s Ryouga that I have the problem with.”

The doctor raised Ranma’s question with a look of concern. “He’s your best friend right?”

Ranma nodded his head slowly and Tofu went on. “Then why would it be so hard to tell him?”

Ranma gave a long pause, and didn’t quite know how to say, so he let it out as straight forward as possible. “I think I’m in love with him too doc.”

Tofu sat in silence for a little while before he found the only thing he could say. “Oh, well this does kind of complicate things, doesn’t it?”

Ranma was bright red at his confession and started shaking in embarrassment. “Don’t joke doc! This is serious! I’m slowly becoming poster boy for bisexual and I don’t know how the hell to deal with it! People are supposed to start off like this! Not slowly become it!”

Tofu chuckled a little but subsided it before he before he got hurt. “Have you ever though that this might be a once in a life time opportunity?”

Ranma was up in Tofu’s face with his fists up. “How can you say that!? I know Akane’s bisexual, but I also KNOW that Ryouga is anything but, well…. Like THAT!”

Tofu looked a little thoughtful at this point, “Are you sure it’s not just a crush that you have right now? Lots of people start experimenting at your age, you wouldn’t believe how many people come to me with this problem.”

“Err, Well, if you put it that way… But still…”

“And I remember you mentioning that he had a thing for you before he found out who you really were.”

“Look doc. I think I know what you’re trying to say here, but I’m not entirely comfortable with that… I’ve had a few bad experiences in the past.”

The doctor nodded his head. “I know about it. Nabiki mentioned it to me a while back, so please don’t explain. But I think you’re just being afraid of what might happen.”

“Sh-she told you about that!? Damnit! Is my life not private at all!?”

Tofu sat Ranma down and calmed him down. “Ranma. It was very important for me to know this information. She did you a favor by telling me. Every thing said between us though, stays between us. I will not tell anybody about what you are going through, and never will. I’m here to help you in every way I can.”

Ranma put a hand to his forehead and rubbed his temples. “Look Doc. I just don’t like it when people start prying into my life like that. It’s an extreme violation of my privacy.”

“I understand Ranma, and I’m sorry, but since I am your doctor, you have to tell me this about this stuff as soon as possible. What if you had an STD you didn’t know about? I need to know, so I can help you.”

Ranma took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while rubbing his head. “Well you are the doctor… And you haven’t been wrong yet…”

“Good. I hope you can trust me with personal information in the future. It’s more important then you think.”

Ranma needed to change the subject by this point. “Ok! Ok! I’ll tell you from now on, but right now I need help with my hormone issue.”

Tofu scratched his head and spoke. “It’s not my place to tell you whether or not you should pursue urges. I heal your physical pain, and help with the emotional, but I’ll never make a decision for you.”

Ranma bowed his head in a little bit of confusion. “But, what am I going to tell Ryouga? Hell, what am I going to tell Akane? Damnit! Should I even tell them at all?”

Tofu started leading Ranma towards the door. “That is up to you. I just ask that you keep an open mind ok? There are some big surprises in life.”

“You don’t know the half of it doc…” Ranma said as he looked out the door at a table set in the middle of Tofu’s office with a smiling Kasumi and a 36 pound turkey.

“Why hello Doctor Tofu! I thought you might be hungry.”

The events that followed were too painful on Ranma’s end to even begin to describe…


As of late, Ranma had become pretty experienced at popping all of his bones back into place on his own. It was sort of like a type of training, but going to the doctor’s office with a certain Kasumi was required. The scene consisted of a smiling Kasumi and mangled Ranma slowly becoming normal again. Even though he was getting used to it, popping joints back into place always managed to hurt and annoy him. Since he was already in a pretty bad mood from new information on himself and yet another painful encounter the one thing that he didn’t need at this point was some one attacking him with for no reason. Which is exactly what happened to him. It goes some thing like this.

“HOW DARE YOU ENSLAVE MY BELOVED SHAMPOO!?”

“MOUSSE! YOU LEAVE RANMA ALONE! HE WON ME RIGHT!”

“I never should have brought him here…. I’m sorry child.”

“PREPARE TO DIE SOATOME! I’LL TEAR YOUR HAREM APART IF I HAVE TO!”

Ranma turned around to see a young man in white robes flying at him with a fist out and a Purple haired girl coming up behind him with a mace. Ranma decided not to move, and let the guy think he stood a chance. The fist connected with his face and Ranma was sent flying back into a wall, causing spider web crack patters against it. Ranma let himself play dead for a second as this so-called Mousse came in for another attack.

“SO WEAK! YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE SOATOME!”

Mousse’s attack was cut short when Shampoo’s mace caught up and flattened him. “You no hurt Ranma! Stupid Mousse!”

Mousse got up off the ground in an instant and turned to his love. “But Shampoo! I came all this way to win you back from these beasts!”

Shampoo turned the other way and crossed her arms with a scowl on her face. “You never win Shampoo! You must beat Shampoo first and we no have rematch!”

A pickled old woman pogo-ed on her stick over to the two Amazon youths. “You know the rules. And you never have beaten Shampoo, you two settled that back when you were three years old.”

Mousse bowed his head in shame. “B-but we were THREE!”

“Rules are rules Mousse, and you lost. Now get out of my way. I want to meet my son-in-law.”

“Never! I will defeat him!” With that Mousse turned and struck with all his might, the only problem was that he hit the wall. He pulled back his fist a bit and let out a tear as the pain sunk into his fist. Then he started looking around. “Where did that coward run off to!?”

This was a question that no one could answer. No body saw him get up and leave, but what he left was an awkward silence and a guy named Mousse with a twitching eye in his place. Shampoo looked over to her great grandmother. “Uhhh. You see where Ranma go?”

The old woman shook her head. “No clue child. You didn’t mention that you married a wimp. How did he beat you again?”

Before any more words could be exchanged, Ranma seemed to fly out of nowhere at Mousse with an extremely pissed look on his face. “YOU HAVE UNLEASHED THE FURY!”

“Oh, my!”

Mousse was sent flying the foot and a half into the wall he was by with a left hook to his chin. The wall exploded and the rubble piled on top of him. The old woman spoke to correct herself. “Or, I could be mistaken…”

From the rubble, Mousse exploded out with his leg out forward, “Kick of the white swan!” His kick missed Ranma, but the telephone pole behind him had its own story to deal with, as it broke in two and fell over. Mousse chuckled at this point. “Ha! Not too many people can avoid my devastating techniques Soa- Hey, where’s my shoe?”

Ranma responded by running in close and whacking him across the face with it. Ranma was busy having his fun, until he was caught off guard by the ducky training potty smacking him in the face. “Wha-what the hell!? Who fights with a training potty!?”

Mousse was laughing again. “You haven’t even seen the beginning of my magic. Behold!”

Mousse waved his hands and quickly a couple of blades shot out of each of his sleeves. “Hey! That’s not magic! You’re just stuffing crap in your pockets. You damn pony…”

The old woman leaned over to her grand daughter. “Hmm… I don’t suppose your husband has figured out Mousse’s attacks yet. He’s a master of hidden weapons. He might not stand a chance.”

Shampoo shrugged it off with a wave. “No. Believe Shampoo. Ranma much better at it then Mousse ever be… He walk through room and when he finish there no longer books, book shelves, or pictures on wall. He one time shove a fridge in his right leg warmer.”

The old woman had to raise a wrinkly eyebrow at that one. “You don’t say? But how good is he at fighting?”

Shampoo had to think about that one for a second. “Actually, I never really see Ranma fight. But I sure he beat every one.”


Ranma was using pure agility against Mousse. With each and every punch that Mousse delivered, Ranma just stood and dodged with uncanny speed, until Mousse let out a scream and connected directly with Ranma’s face. He was about to laugh when he noticed two things. The first one was that his fist went right through his head, and secondly it touched nothing but air. Mousse stepped back into a defensive stance and slowly started making a tap for Ranma’s chest. “What the…?”

Shampoo and her grandmother just looked for a second while Ranma smiled and looked down at the hand passing through his body. Mousse started looking around and moving his glasses to see as best he could. “Just an illusion…? Where the heck is he?”

There was a tap on his shoulder and a voice. “Right here!”

Mousse jumped and shot around like greases lightning, but also had a 20 inch blade coming out of his sleeve poised for Ranma’s stomach. “DIE SOATOME!”

The blade did its deed and went straight through Ranma’s stomach and out the back. There was resistance against the blade and a spray of blood out Ranma’s back. Mousse smiled, as he knew he hit home. Ranma stared wide-eyed into Mousses face as his head fell forward and blood poured out of his mouth. Most people would think that Shampoo would scream at this point, but she and her grandmother were from a place with brutal rules, and this happened more then once in their village. She bowed her head and started giving a silent prayer.

Mousse’s eyes were filled with victory as he started sliding the blade out of his dead opponent. It was cut short however as Ranma seemed to come back from the dead and his hand grasp Mousse’s arm in an iron grip, preventing him from taking out the blade. Mousse started struggling with his arm, but he looked up as he noticed Ranma’s head rising up with the same dead look in his eyes. “What the hell! What is this!?”

Mousse’s shouting was cut short as Ranma’s dead face filled with life and gave him an evil grin. Mousse went silent trying to figure out what was going on, when suddenly Ranma took a breath in and spat a mouth full of blood in his face. Mousse’s hand was let go and the blade snapped inside Ranma, followed with him falling to the ground with a thud. Mousse started crawling away as Ranma pulled the blade out of his back and came towards Mousse with now bloody and cut hands. Mousse was paralyzed with fear at this point and it was only made worse as Ranma leapt on top of him and drove the blade into the ground beside his head. Their eyes met at an even level, and with one final shriek Ranma opened with mouth and wailed like a banshee as his scream covered Mousse’s face with even more blood. Ever one who was watching with the exception of the old woman fainted. Mousse went the extra mile by wetting himself.

Once every one was down and out, he got up off of this Mousse guy and muttered a few words. In less then a second he was covered in white wind and all his wounds were healed along with the mess of blood and meaty chunks disappearing. He brushed himself off and walked over to the old woman who just stared at him. “Uhhh, Hi! I’m Ranma. You must be Shampoo’s grandmother, Cologne. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Cologne surprised Ranma by leaping at him and hugging him in a death grip. “You have my blessings son-in-law!”

“Ahh! Get offa me!!!”