Rise and Fall of Kira

Disclaimer–I do not own Death note. If I did, the stories would be way more suggestive, if you know what I mean. ;)

Warnings– May have some mild angst here.

I also may have to repeat that I don’t have a beta-reader… so some parts may be not as refined as I’d like it to be. Some parts might get a little erratic as I’m kind of fast-forwarding some parts of the storylines from The Movie, Anime and Manga. That aside, I hope that you will continue to enjoy the plot that I’m weaving now!
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Over the next few days, Light became more used to this new unusual arrangement with the detective. Once he realized that L didn’t seem to have any intention of making any improper moves on him, He no longer worried about the strange situation that he found himself in.

He almost didn’t mind anymore when it came to sharing showers or undressing in front of L. He could see the logic in that fact that they were both males, that made for the fact that they had nothing that the other hadn’t seen before. He was still slightly embarrassed each time though, as seeing it was difficult to get rid of the strong sense of modesty that he had grown up with.

Once he got used to all this, and from the moment he became certain that L wasn’t going to sexually molest him in any way… he also managed to get rid of his anxiety regarding his…sexuality.
He had reasoned with himself that it wasn’t even a issue to start with… after all as long as he still liked women and found them attractive, he wasn’t completely gay. Also, his mind had only conjured that most distressing possibility that he didn’t mind guys because he had been so stressed over whenever L had a secret motive or not. And now that he was certain that L’s motives were completely innocent, that whole issue was completely moot. His sexuality was safe.

All was right with the world… Well, almost. He was now in the same usual workplace, sitting next to L. But his mind was elsewhere, and not really focused on his work. He was now thinking about something else that was bugging him for a while.

The chain between him and L… it constantly reminded everyone that at least one person in the team suspected Light of being Kira. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was even the slightest hint of doubt in the others’ minds regarding his… innocence. It pained him that the one person that he actually respected and admired suspected him of being the worst criminal on earth. He couldn’t even begin to imagine if the others truly thought that way.

Yet… that wasn’t even the worst part of this whole problem. When he racked his mind on how to prove his innocence to the others…he couldn’t help but see how the evidence basically racked up against him, and he had to admit that he could see how L thought him to be guilty. If he was in the same situation, he would think so too. And on top of it, there seemed to be some holes in his memory regarding certain events. What if he had been right before? What if he had some sort of spilt personality that was doing the killings?
He despised to think of himself as being crazy, but due to his memory gaps, that certainly seemed possible. But then on the other hand, He was a being that still believed in the laws… in the courts and justice. He totally despised people who thought they could play god, and take the law into their hands! Could he really become one of those people he so loathed?

He mentally sighed, and it was then he realized that L was staring at him. “ Huh? What is it? ”

“ You looked troubled… Would you like to share your thoughts with me?”

Light slightly sweat dropped, as he shook his head. He replied with the first excuse he thought of. “ Ah.. No. sorry, I guess I’m just unused to working in front of a computer monitor for so long… it’s hurting my eyes. That’s all… ”

“ Oh, is that so… ”

God, that was such a weak excuse… and even L seemed to realize this. Light felt that L looked like somebody who didn’t believe what he was hearing at the moment… despite the fact that his expression hadn’t changed at all.

Light schooled his expression to become neutral too, and he pretended to get back to work. L looked away then, and once again simply focused on eating his cake. Light then continued his train of thought.

Even if L’s face had the same neutral expression 24/7, Light was somehow able to read all his feelings and his thoughts just by looking into L’s eyes or by seeing the subtle change in his body posture. Light wondered if that came as an side-effect of being chained to L… or if he always had that ability to read L like that.

He was able to read L so well, yet…he wasn’t any closer to truly understanding this strange man. He also wondered why that was so.
Maybe in the end he thought he could read L like a book, when that was only an illusion. He desperately wanted to understand L as an person, to understand why he did the things he did…so that he would know that L was at least human. He sometimes found himself wondering if L even had any emotions like a real human being would have. It was an unhealthy fascination he had with the man. He knew he shouldn’t be obsessing over such a nearly trivial thing right now, but he couldn’t help himself.

He kept on trying to discover the reason why he felt this way, but that source kept on evading him… almost like it was some sort of memory that didn’t want to be recalled.

Then on the other hand, why should he care so much what L thought about? So what if he was supposedly the greatest detective in the world, like Light wanted to be?
L was still a strange man who did things which made it so difficult to like him as an person. On the outside L appeared to be a completely apathetic, cold person save for his passion when it came to sweets and his sense of Justice. L was almost like a undead person or a robot when Light thought about it.

L didn’t even know the meaning of friendship, it seemed. Otherwise why would he claim that Light was his friend, and then do the opposite of everything a friend would do? For some reason it had hurt Light on some small level when L had told him before that he had used the whole premise of their so-called friendship to keep Light close to him so that L could keep an eye on his “enemy”.

‘Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.’ Light thought bitterly. Well, If that was the way L wanted things to be… then he would have to just accept it and be on his guard. No matter how he admired and hated L at the same time, he too would be neutral towards the man, and disallow himself to be used like that again. He shouldn’t be thinking so much about such useless things, and instead focus on catching Kira once for all!

This was why he had joined the team after all… to correct the injustice that had been committed, not so that he could obsess over an strange man who couldn’t even dress properly. He was here not only for what Kira had put his family though, But also for Shiori.

Even though he was hazy on some of the details regarding her death for some strange reason, he still remembered Shiori clearly. She had been an admirable woman who had a strong sense of justice. She had been working so hard to become a policewoman and then to detective status. Even though some of her test scores hadn’t been good enough to pass, she never gave up on that goal. She was such a pure soul. It was the reason why he had agreed to be her boyfriend–-He couldn’t help but admire all those wonderful qualities she had. She never deserved to die at all! Yet it was thanks to Kira…

Yes. For her and his family, He would do anything it took to stop Kira, Even if it meant stooping to using some of the same backhanded tactics that L was using. Even though he still would rather do his best to see this though with all of his virtues intact…

His brooding thoughts were interrupted once again, but this time it wasn’t interrupted by L. He had actually been browsing though all the information on the computer while he was lost in his own thoughts. He wasn’t paying that much attention to the files… and even then, he still noticed something… a pattern.

His dark and depressing thoughts forgotten, he excitedly got to work on comparing all past and present data on all the killing patterns. He almost let out an gasp when everything matched up according to his suspicions.

Instead, he brought his discovery to everyone’s attention.

“Ryuuzaki, I’d like to have your attention please. see this… ” Light called out, and L scooted over to his side. L then showed him the data.

“It seems that quite a few of those CEOs from various companies have been dying of heart attacks. As an result, a company named Youtsba had their stock rise steadily while others plummeted. ” Light explained, “So from this data this tells us those deaths are beneficial to Youtsba.”

L was staring up at the screen with a dumbfounded expression on his face, his index finger hovering over his gaping mouth.

Light felt an smug satisfaction upon seeing that look. It just somehow felt good that he was able to spot things that not even the great L noticed. It at least proved that at least he had the ability to catch Kira, and that he was truly an useful asset here. It almost made up for the fact that he still was being suspected by L…

“So, what do you think, Ryuuzaki?” Light casually asked, keeping his face neutral. “There’s been thirteen cases so far, and from this I can only think that Kira is supporting Youtsba.”

“Yes…I agree with your conclusion. ” L said. “ However.. This also means that this Kira’s true motive is not the judgment of criminals. ”

Light nodded. “ Yes. It’s most likely that he’s using criminals’ deaths to camflauge the killings he did for profit. ”
He then looked at L, smiling slightly. “So how’s that? Are you motivated now?”

L looked back at Light, his eyes still slightly wide a little. “Yes, I am now. Thank you, Light-kun.”

Without thinking, Light just reached out and touched L on the shoulder as somebody might do with a friend. His hand squeezed that location slightly, as he said: “let’s go inform the others of this new development. With some luck their help might even uncover some new things I wasn’t able to catch on my own.”

L looked slightly surprised at this affectionate gesture, but his face quickly reverted into his neutral mask once again before Light could notice. “ Yes. ” He simply agreed.
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It was also on that day that his father had gone to the police station, and he came back with rather grim news.

Apparently Kira was now bribing politicians to use their influence on the police force. That wasn’t the surprising part though. It was the fact that the police chief actually accepted this, and asked everyone who was still on the police force to pull out of the invesagstion as seeing the rest of the police had stopped doing so.

Hearing that felt like a huge shock to Light’s system. He had always thought of people who became part of the police force as strong, moral and upstanding people who were willing to do anything to put dangerous and evil people behind bars. After all, His own father was like that… so it never occurred to him that there was police who didn’t quite feel the same way. And to hear that the majority of them were willing to look the other way while Kira killed…

Well, needless to say his whole perfect image of the entire police force was now shattering into a thousand pieces.

L didn’t seem too surprised by this at all, though for some reason.

“I Think you all should return to the police force. ” He simply replied politely, not even once turning around to face them. “ I was alone to start with, and I thank you for sticking with me for so long.”

Light turned to look at him as if he was insane. It was then he noticed from his L’s posture that he was just as troubled about this new turn of events as he was.

Light then moved closer to stand next to L. “Ryuuzaki, as long as I’m around, you’re not alone. Remember, I promised you that I would do anything to prove my innocence to you. That’s why I accepted this fact.. ” With that, He gestured the chain that bound the two together.

He saw L’s posture relax slightly at this. “Yes…that’s right. Light-kun will stay with me until Kira is caught. But the rest of you should leave.”

Mr. Yagami loudly protested this, along with the other task force. But after a long moment of debating this, it turned out that everyone save for Aizawa.

It turned out that L had been testing everyone all along, and Aizawa resented this very much. Especially when L simply told him that he felt sorry that Aizawa was going to leave, as seeing he supposedly liked him very much.

Aizawa had left in an angry mood, and to be honest Light couldn’t blame him. L could easily irritate even the most patient, saintly person in the world without even trying.

Seeing the way he had tested Aizawa, Light couldn’t help but wonder. Light wondered why despite all the irritating things that L did, he couldn’t bring himself to hate L in the same way Aizawa did. After all, he did go though much worse situations than Aizawa did…and he was being tested constantly by L everyday.

Yet, against all rational thought and sound logic, he still attempted to get L to at least acknowledge him as his equal. And not only that but for them to stand on equal grounds with each other, where there was no tests or games pitted against each other.

Why? Why did L distract him like this? He had tried to tell himself that all of his actions so far was so that he could avenge Shiori and his family. But that wasn’t it… it seemed that the truth were that he was actually doing all this just for L now. To gain his admiration, his respect… to be seen as his equal. It disturbed him that for some reason, doing that just for L was somehow more important than catching Kira and bringing him to justice.

Why? Why?????
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I wasn’t exactly happy with this chapter… on one hand, I wanted to move the story along… and then on the other hand, I wanted to focus on Light’s internal struggle. I liked the idea of Light being a little confused on how he felt towards L, and having him want to hate L but finding himself unable to do so.

There wasn’t a good balance of the two in this chapter… ah well. Tell me what you think could need work here in your reviews! It helps me to know the opinions of my readers. ;)