Christmas 2002

Matt was awake so early that Mello hadn\'t even stirred. It was a highly unusual state of affairs. Matt immediately reached under his pillow and pulled out his DS. He checked that it was muted and began to play. It calmed him. Matt was well aware that it hadn\'t been excitement, but anxiety that had woken him. Christmas Day frightened him in ways that it was difficult to quantify, whilst liberating him too. One Christmas, he had got up early and hidden, intent on spending the day out of sight and gaming, but that had caused so much uproar that it had had the opposite result. It had been Mello who had found him (an act which nearly made them fall out forever), but Roger had made Matt stay next to him for the entire day. It had been awful. Everyone had looked at him.



As Matt\'s fingers moved over the controls, his mind formed a separate gameplan. He would stick like glue to Mello. If Mello disappeared, as he was wont to do on Christmas Day, being busy trying to learn things while everyone was at ease, then Matt would immediately return to their room. He would play underneath the bed, so he could hear if anyone came looking for him. If it wasn\'t Mello, then Matt would sneak downstairs the second that they had gone and pretend he\'d been there all along. About once every couple of hours, Matt would anyway go downstairs, smile as he walked through the common room, then come back upstairs. It was a good plan. It would stop everyone trying to make him have fun.



There were five doom points in the day. Breakfast and dinner could be survived, as long as Mello didn\'t wander off. He hadn\'t done before so there were precedents that the blond boy could be relied upon to sit next to him and deflect people away. Present time was bearable because there was a present in it. Matt was hoping for a Gameboy Advanced SP. Mr Wammy was very good at guessing what Matt wanted. It was probably a given that he\'d get one. It wasn\'t due to be released until next spring, but Mr Wammy had managed to acquire every other game console months before the official release and Matt was confident that this one would be no different. Present time could be good then, if he just kept close to Mello and timed grabbing his present so that he was stepping back the instant it was in his hands. Mr Wammy wasn\'t going to be there, so that avoided uncomfortable conversations. Matt hadn\'t added his name to the list on Roger\'s door and he had checked several times that Mello hadn\'t added it for him. If he could keep on top of that, then the fourth dangerspot would be dodged. Which just left the revue.



Matt felt dread wash through him. He concentrated on his game a little too much and nearly lost a life accordingly. He played until his character was saved and his own heartbeat was slower. It was no good. The fact of the revue hung like a big, black stain on his life. He sighed and got out of bed, rummaging through Mello\'s desk until he found the poem. It was festive and cheery. It was short. Mello had made a good choice for him. As if thought had telepathically alerted him. Mello\'s voice rose from his bed, "What are you doing in my things?"



"Just reading the poem you found for me."



Mello sat up, smiling brightly. "I need to work on my costume."



Matt froze. "Do I have to wear a costume?"



"You don\'t have to, no, but..."



"Good." Matt returned to his bed and started to lose himself in his game again.



Mello flung back his covers and practically danced out of bed. He glanced out of the window before arriving at Matt\'s side. He bent down, his face so close that, for a horrified moment, Matt thought Mello was going to kiss him. Matt\'s eyes widened, as he surveyed the grinning blond. Mello whispered, "Merry Christmas, Mail."



A smile flickered at the tips of Matt\'s lips. Since the directive earlier that year, Mello had refused point blank to call Matt by his real name. At first, Matt had been equally stubborn in not responding if Mello called him by his pseudonym. They had had to reach an agreement. It had begun with Mello shortening his friend\'s name to Matt; then there had been a few weeks where Matt had felt very lonely and more than a little anxious, because he didn\'t like that name either. He had tried ignoring Mello, but Mello had just ignored him right back and Mello was better at it. In the end, Matt had had to accept \'Matt\' or else lose his friend. They\'d sat down and made friends again, but Matt was still secretly upset about it. Now Mello had called him by his real name. Matt\'s smile grew and he really could have kissed Mello.



The blond, though, span away and disappeared into the little bathroom before Matt could say a word. It was ages before he came out again, so Matt could look at him and grin. "Merry Christmas to you too, Mi..."



"Mello." Mello winked. Then he clapped his hands. "Right, Matty, I need you to stick close to me all day, ok? You need to watch my back. Understood?"



Matt stared at Mello. They had never discussed it. Mello couldn\'t know the anxiety that this day wrought in Matt. There was no context other than the fact that Matt hated the revue, which everyone knew. But sometimes, Matt wondered at that. Mello had a magic mind. He knew everything. Matt nodded. "Understood."



Mello reached for his first chocolate bar of the day with a smirk on his face. "Good."