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Suppressed	By : nekked Category: +M to R > One Piece Views: 8384 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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- 8
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Suppressed

Ch. 9: I Like Your Beard

Normally Franky was all for the confusion that came along with being a Straw Hat pirate. Nothing manlier than throwing the rest of the world off guard with some spontaneity.

Normally though, he wasn't in the middle of reciting really embarrassing lines of text about girl's being the sun and standing and watching girl's on their balconies. The embarrassment was made that much more pronounced by the fact that he was putting off the manly task of fixing the roof of his ship.

So when the rest of the crew came bursting out of the trees in a hurricane whirlwind of curses, death threats and general discontent, he shoved said embarrassing (but still pretty entertaining) piece of stolen literature back in his ab-drawer for later and hastily waved a hammer at them all from his perch as a cover up.

And now here they all sat on the ship: Nami interrogating Zoro, who was trying his best not to fall asleep; Sanji foaming at the mouth and passed out in Chopper's office; Chopper running in and out of said office trying to decide if he wanted to BE the doctor today or find someone else to do it for him; Usopp laying with his head on the dining room table, absentmindedly staring through his glass of apple juice at Luffy's distorted face; Luffy apparently torn between some heavy thoughts that required him to glare in Zoro's direction every few seconds and pout before going back to studying the table wood.

Robin was the only normal one, as always. She caught the cyborg's glance and gave him a reassuring smile before sitting next to him.

"As you can see, you missed out on some fun," she commented, setting a cola down for him and drinking her own juice.

"Yeah, I can see that," he murmured, nodding his thanks. "Do I want to know what it's about this time?"

"So let me get this straight, just so we're on the same page," Nami said suspiciously, leaning her weight on one jean clad hip.

"Whatever gets this over with faster," Luffy whined, giving up on the defiant child act after having to sit there for two hours listening to Nami and Zoro banter. "I'm going to starve soon and it'll be all your guys' fault…"

"You shut up," the red-head snapped. She noticed Zoro had dozed off again and kicked him in the shin. He cried out in pain and glared at her.

"So Zoro-aniki was caught naked with the Princess? This sure turned out to be an interesting first day, eh?" Franky mused. "Diving right in after not even knowing each other for twenty-four hours-"

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU IT'S NOT LIKE THAT," the swordsman screeched, pounding a fist on the table. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Luffy glowering at him and he returned it full force.

"What the hell's YOUR problem? From what I hear, you've got a lot less than me to be bitching about."

"So you're jealous that Luffy actually got some?" Usopp snickered. Zoro gave him a death glare and attempted to leap over and kill him. He was clocked in the head by Nami, so he face planted onto the table.

"Oops," Robin muttered, blinking in surprise when her juice toppled over and spilled in her lap.

"Got it," Franky said, a handkerchief popping out of his finger. Not really thinking, he moved to mop up Robin's crotch and then stopped, blushing furiously. He caught her eye by accident, turning more red when she smiled deviously.

"You know what I think, I think you're all just mad that I'd rather hang out with Margaret. She's a hell of a lot nicer than you guys," Luffy said loudly, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air. "She plays with me."

"So I've heard, Man Whore," Zoro growled, settling back in his chair and giving the room a once over. Usopp laughed hysterically at Luffy's confused look at his new nickname.

"You know," Franky said, trying to distract himself from Robin's legs, "It's a sad day when Mugiwara, the manliest of us all, can't even get a hand job without someone bustin' a nut."

"HE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM," Nami screamed, pulling at Luffy's cheek. "WE ARE HERE TO PREVENT SOMETHING OF EQUAL OR GREATER CONSEQUENCE. Now," she said, calming down a little, "Luffy, listen to me. You can't just go around touching girls any way you like. It's disrespectful."

"But she ASKED me," he whined, pulling himself from her grasp, "And it felt good."

"Course it did," Zoro interjected disgustedly, staring at his captain, "don't tell me you don't even know what sex is-"

He was immediately silenced by Nami's body flying full force at him from across the table and tackling him.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE THAT BADLY?" she yelled, refusing to remove her hand from his face.

"Sex?" Luffy muttered, head tilting at a ninety degree angle. Franky shook his head.

"That's some kind of super feat you've accomplished, Mugiwara. The manliest guy I know can't even comprehend one of the most basic primal urges we're dealt."

Nami's eyes flashed his way, and the cyborg was silenced. Zoro struggled to breathe.

"And no, you can't eat it," Usopp said passively, noticing Luffy's mouth start to open.

"Perhaps I should try explaining it," Robin said smoothly, standing up slow enough that Franky had time to look at her ass before she made her way over to Luffy. Nami sighed and threw Zoro back in his chair, waiting for what she knew was going to be their last hope.

Robin moved to drape her arms over Luffy's shoulders until her hands rested against his bare stomach, stroking his abs sensually. Luffy furrowed his brows confusedly and blinked, ignoring the now dropped jaws around him.

"What do you feel when I do this to you," she said, moving her lips to whisper in his ear. Franky's nosebleed trickled down to look like a bloody mustache around his gaping upper lip.

"What are you even doing," Luffy asked loudly, giving her a frog face. "You're weird, Robin."

"Just, for a minute, close your eyes and imagine Margaret-chan is doing this to you."

Luffy looked startled for a minute, then closed his eyes and did as he was told.

Everyone waited in anticipated silence…for…what exactly?

After a few minutes of waiting and watching Robin do her thing, Luffy let his head fall back and he groaned, making everyone else in the room extremely uncomfortable. Robin smiled and looked down at his arousal.

"Now we're getting somewhere," she announced, patting Luffy's head and walking back towards the other side of the table. Luffy blinked lazily and watched her walk away.

"We came here to explain things in a way he'll understand to NOT do them," Nami said despairingly, fingers spidering hysterically through the air.

"That was borderline pornographic," Usopp said, marveling at his own nosebleed. Franky was silent, but gave a thumbs up to nobody in particular and wiped his nose with the finger-chief.

"Do you enjoy thinking about Margaret-chan, Senchou?" Robin asked, taking the dry erase marker from the board Chopper had brought out before tending to Sanji. Luffy thought hard for a minute and then nodded.

"When you think about Margaret-chan," she continued, drawing on the board, "what do you think about her doing?"

"Touching me," he said, straightening his hat. "I like her hands."

Zoro snorted and Luffy glared at him.

"You already have Hancock to touch you," Luffy said defensively. And then he grumbled more to himself, "Just 'cause Margaret thinks you have a big dick…"

The room exploded in laughter, Zoro's face steaming in embarrassment. Even Robin joined in, covering her mouth in a sad attempt to make it look more dignified.

"I'll KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT."

"DON'T TOUCH ME I DON'T WANNA BE FAT," Luffy retorted through clenched teeth, both of them jumping up and facing off over the table. They were promptly K.O.'d by Nami so Robin could continue.

"One develops sexual urges fairly early on in life in a normal environment, but it might be hard pressed to consider Senchou's environment…stimulating," Robin mused, stepping back from the board.

"Robin," Nami said slowly, staring at the naked man and woman she had drawn. "What the hell is that?"

"These are simply visuals," Robin said casually, turning to look at Luffy. "Tell me what you see, Senchou."

"They're naked."

"Which one is the boy and which is the girl?"

Luffy pointed to one of them. "That one has boobs."

Robin's eyes brightened.

"What good is this," Usopp grumbled, his stomach growling. Everyone else nodded wondering what this was supposed to accomplish.

"He's not genderly challenged," Nami said placing a hand on her forehead. "We already knew that."

"No, I'd say this is a success," Robin said, smiling a little. "He's finally given some indication that he's aware of, and perhaps now inclined towards the female anatomy. Normally he might say 'that one has kintama' or something."

There was a shocked silence as everyone let this information sink in.

"Do you want to touch Margaret-chan, Senchou?"

Luffy nodded.

"Would you, if circumstances allowed it, want to make her feel good?"

Luffy nodded and grinned.

"This is getting to be too much for me," Zoro said, boredom evident in his voice. He stood up and headed for the door. "Tell me when he understands so I can give him tips on his technique."

He dodged the kick Nami tried to give to him and was nearly out the door when Brook came crashing through from the other side. They both fell in a tangle of limbs and bones, Zoro screaming obscenities and Brook saying he would've definitely felt that if he had skin. Or something to that effect.

"Brook! Where the hell have you been?" Usopp asked curiously.

"Nami-san, you have some visitors," the skeleton said simply, pointing at the door.

Everyone looked at each other. Nami frowned and got up to walk out the door. Everyone else waited a minute, and then followed.

When they had all gathered at the side of the ship, they noticed a giant flock of Amazon's standing on the dock and waiting patiently for Nami to appear. When she did, there was cheering.

"Oi!" Luffy cried cheerfully, "What are all of you doing here?"

"We came to see Nami-san!" a few of them called back, waving. Nami raised an eyebrow.

"Me? Why did you come to see me?"

Kikyo stepped out of the crowd, her eyes gleaming in admiration.

"Many of the girls here witnessed your exceptional skills when fighting against Luffy-sama. Because he has such immense strength, they are wondering if you might be willing to teach them," she said enthusiastically, moving her arms to gesture out to the other women. They all got down on one knee and bowed.

"Please teach us, Nami-sama!"

"I, also, would like to see it in action," Kikyo said smoothly, letting her eyes linger over Nami before kneeling as well. "Consider us all your humble students."

Everyone in the crew turned slowly to stare at a flushed and stuttering Nami.

"J-just hang on a second…I…I'm really not that great, I just lose it sometimes when he acts like an idiot."

"Yeah," Luffy said, slightly insulted, "Nami's not better than me. She's just mean."

"NOBODY ASKED YOU," the navigator growled, punching him over the head so that he smashed into Brook and they both fell to the ground. The amazon's cheered.

"What a stunning display of raw power," Kikyo mused, Nami's face starting to collect roses in her eyes, "We must ask you to take part in the tournament tomorrow."

"Tournament?" the crew said in unison. Nami was sweating bullets.

"I can't do that," she started off modestly, "Besides, I'm very busy and-"

Robin placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a look.

"You should accept their invitation, Navigator-san. You aren't so weak as you were two years ago. You will be fine. It would be impolite to refuse if they are so set on learning from you."

Nami stared out at her audience, not at all enthused. She blushed when she noticed Kikyo's creepy stare and turned to her comrades.

"I don't know, guys. These women are all really strong, right?"

"You're not weak anymore, Nami-nee," Franky said encouragingly, giving her a thumbs up. Everyone else nodded and smiled.

"Well, I don't know about that, but, sometimes I love you guys," Nami said tearfully, ready to initiate a group hug.

"And the winner gets one-million beri!" came a random call from the amazon's group.

"BRING IT ON," Nami roared, bursting into flame so that everyone else had to back away from her.

"I WANNA BE IN IT," Luffy whined loudly, finally getting untangled from Brook. "NAMI ISN'T BETTER THAN ME."

"IF HE'S IN IT, THEN SO AM I," came a deafening roar from inside the kitchen. Chopper clung to Sanji's arm as he kicked open the door and flew at Luffy. They struggled for a minute until Chopper finally decided he was done and went into heavy point, squishing both of them underneath him.

"I want in," Zoro said smirking, finally deciding to speak.

"I highly doubt you would be much of a contender," came a familiar voice from the forest. Hancock appeared, Salome slithering her along until she was at the front of the large group of women. The usual fainting and fawning occurred.

"Why do you always have to appear every time I try to do something that doesn't concern you," Zoro sneered, electricity shooting out of both their eyes. "You're annoying. Go away."

"Actually, this does concern me," Hancock said simply, flipping her hair and raising a hand to gesture at herself. "This is a tournament for me to test the strength of my own warriors. The winner will be battling me." She winked cutely. "Of course, I go easy on everyone to make it a fair fight." Much fainting occurred.

Nami paled. Luffy screamed, but it was muffled under Chopper's fur. Sanji struggled to get his face out from under the bulk so he could see Hancock for the first time since he'd been here. He failed miserably.

"Then what makes you think I'd pass up this kind of challenge," Zoro said darkly, narrowing his eyes at her. "If my opponent is you, I'll definitely win."

"Don't get cocky," Hancock hissed, leaning back so she was looking looking down at him to the point of looking up . "I was in a weakened state when we last faced off, but I'm completely recovered." She hardened her eyes and gave him a scary look. "If you take me lightly you'll lose more than your life."

"Perhaps his virginity?" Usopp offered, lips pouting in an exaggerated snicker as he, Brook and Franky went into a fit of giggles. Sanji's struggling was now accompanied by muffled yells of 'fucking marimo' and something about killing sea weed.

"I AIN'T A VIRGIN," the swordsman yelled, knocking all of them over and gritting his teeth at his female antagonist.

"I'm entering this tournament, and I'm winning. Simple as that," he stated so everyone could hear. "And when I win, you're gonna regret ever underestimating me."

"We'll see," she said cooly, tired of talking with him already. "But Luffy will not participate."

Luffy finally found the strength to pick Chopper up and glared at Hancock.

"WHY CAN'T I BE IN IT?"

"Because I will not raise a hand against my future husband," she cooed, wriggling obnoxiously and making all the women around her swoon.

"I'm not marrying you," Luffy said flatly.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT," Sanji roared, tackling Luffy again and forgetting to even glance at Hancock. Chopper fell on them without Luffy to hold him up.

"This is supposed to only be for women anyway," Hancock continued, smirking at Zoro, "so, perhaps you qualify."

That did it.

Zoro unsheathed all three swords and attempted to leap off the ship, Robin's arms pulling him back in as he swore incessantly.

"Any men other than the swordsman need not bother," Hancock said with finality, pointing so that Salome started taking her back to the palace. "Dinner is nearly finished, so please come eat once you've taken care of your dog." She smiled when Zoro glared daggers at her.

"And don't forget, moss ball," she said brightly, turning over her shoulder once more before disappearing into the trees, "I'll see you bright and early for your haki training. Hopefully you're a fast learner. You'll definitely need it if you expect to win."

"Farewell, Nami-san," Kikyo said smoothly, turning to leave with the rest of her comrades.

"This island just keeps getting weirder and weirder," Usopp mused.

"This, I am actually a bit excited to see," Brook said out loud, patting his afro. "Though, I don't have eyes to see…YOHOHOHO~ SKULL JOKE!"

"This will indeed be interesting," Robin said, thinking out loud. "Experiencing the culture of such an unstudied group so up close and personal…it's a once in a lifetime chance…"

"Maybe Margaret-nee is in it?" Franky questioned, scratching his chin. Luffy and Sanji perked up immediately.

"MARGARET (CHAN) MIGHT BE IN IT?" they both yelled at the same time. They glared at each other and grit their teeth.

"Oi, don't get any ideas, rubber-head," Sanji growled. "I let you off easy last time because Margaret-chan was confused, but I won't tolerate any funny business starting now."

"You're not the boss of me," Luffy growled right back. "Margaret's my friend. She doesn't wanna touch you."

Sanji tackled him again, Chopper giving them both what for and screaming about everyone being idiot's.

"Margaret-chan is officially a member of the Kuja pirate crew, so she must be very strong. And if Kikyo and some of the others like her are in the tournament, it's not farfetched to think she would take part," Robin offered.

"And Nami-nee is in it too," Franky said, raising his arms together and posing. "THIS IS GOING TO BE SUPER~! I'M GOING TO CHEER THE LOUDEST."

Nami stopped in her attempt to sneak away and laughed nervously. Sanji swooped down next to her.

"I WILL ALSO CHEER FOR NAMI-SWAN! AND MARGARET-CHAN!"

"I'M GONNA BE LOUDER," Luffy yelled, their forehead's butting into each other.

"YOU WISH, MEAT BREATH."

"COOK GUY."

"THAT'S NOT AN INSULT," Chopper, Usopp, Franky and Brook yelled, slapping the air.

"It doesn't matter. I'm winning this," Zoro said, his aura now one of noticeable hatred, looking out towards where Hancock had disappeared. "So you can all just sit the fuck down and watch me."

"MARIMO IF YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS NAMI-SWAN AND MARGARET-CHAN I WILL SAUTEE YOU WITH ONIONS AND SERVE YOU TO HANCOCK-DONO MYSELF."

"I actually think I'll forfeit if I'm against Zoro," Nami said, waving passively and sweat dropping. "He can just give me the prize money as payment for letting him win."

"Here we go," Usopp said, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Looks like I'm sleeping in tomorrow. I have a serious case of Too-Much-Drama-itis…"

"You're not sick you liar," Chopper said, then his eyes widened. "Wait, are you really?"

"SANJI, I'M THE CAPTAIN. NOBODY WILL BE LOUDER THAN ME," Luffy yelled, both of them engaging in a hand slapping match since Chopper would just punch them for getting out of control.

"LIKE I'D GIVE MY LOVELY ANGEL TO SOME UNWORTHY BASTARD LIKE YOU."

"Is this a…cat fight?" Brook asked, everyone staring at them. "I can't tell since I have no eyes to see…YOHOHOHO~"

And thus, Luffy's sex-ed lesson got mowed over by various events of vague importance yet again. Zoro opted to skip dinner, saying he'd fish for himself so he could train some more. Luffy and Sanji declared they weren't talking to each other, and made everyone else uncomfortable enough to get through dinner without a large scale disaster.

With a new dawn, comes new dilemmas.

Luffy awoke, and realized immediately that something was different. Like, really different. Except he couldn't put his finger on it…

He yawned, noticing Usopp laying next to him. He smiled at his friend and pried himself from his grasp. It looked like Sanji was up already. Zoro was gone too.

Oh yeah. He had training this morning…

He yawned again, frowning when he realized he'd have to go get breakfast and see Sanji alone if he didn't wake someone else. He turned to stare at Usopp's sleeping figure, still curled up in their blanket. Taking extra care to be quiet, he walked over and shook him a little.

"Mmm…Luffy…don't…touch…there…hee," Usopp giggled in his sleep and then went back to snoring. Luffy blinked, giving his friend a weird look.

Oh well. Maybe I'll meet up with someone…

He went to walk out the door but tripped over Franky's leg, waking him.

"Oi, what kind of wake up call is that, Mugiwara..." he said in an irritated voice. Luffy noticed his startled look when his eyes fell on his captain's face. He broke into a wide grin.

"Atta boy, Mugiwara! You look manlier than ever now!"

Luffy tilted his head and frowned, then shook his head, getting back to what he needed.

"Hey, Franky. Come eat with me. I don't wanna go see Sanji by myself."

"Don't they have breakfast in the palace?"

"I like Sanji's food," he said, playing the spoiled brat. "I just don't like him today."

Franky waved like he understood, stood up and walked out of the room with him. Robin and Nami were just coming out of their room across the hall together. They waved at first, then caught sight of Luffy and looked startled.

"Uh…" Nami said, looking dumbfounded. Robin recovered quickly and gave Luffy a smile.

"Very rugged, Senchou. I think Margaret-chan would approve."

Nami studied her captain, then fussed with his shirt and mussed his hair a little. She stepped back and smiled, apparently pleased with her work.

"Congratulations, idiot. You've graduated from average, to sexy."

Luffy looked at Franky, who gave him a thumbs up. He didn't get it.

"What's 'se…xy'?" he said, failing to pronounce the word correctly. Nami cringed.

"Never mind. It's you after all. Just make sure it doesn't grow into a full blown beard and you won't scare anyone."

Beard…

Luffy touched his cheek, his fingers immediately meeting with the sand papery sensation of facial hair.

"Come to think of it," Robin mused, "this is the first time you've sported facial hair before, isn't it?"

"I…I've never had hair on my face before," he said quietly, eyes wide.

He had often watched Zoro and Sanji battling over the use of the mirror while shaving, and he'd always kind of admired Sanji's goatee. Often times he would wonder why that never was the case for himself. He was a guy, too, dammit. Where was his face hair?

"I…" he teared up and started rubbing his face lovingly, "I CAN SHAVE. I GET TO SHAVE. I…I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE."

This was the happiest moment of his life. He had to share it with the world.

"I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE," he screamed joyously, running through the halls of Hancock's palace and telling anyone who would listen. "I GET TO SHAVE. I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE."

Nami, Franky and Robin watched him run out of sight.

Chopper peeked out of their room, rubbing his eyes.

"What'd I miss?"

"HE'S LATE," Hancock screeched, pacing the training grounds and seething. "HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE AN HOUR AGO."

Meanwhile, somewhere on the island…

Zoro stood majestically on a cliff, looking out at the flat water with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Where…the fuck am I…"
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