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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 90
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Learning to Land. Chapter Ninety One ~Oshitari~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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"Who was it?" Yuushi asked completely confused. He clearly remembered sitting down at dinner next to Gakuto that first night.

Gakuto said seriously, "Naka Takashi."

"But that's the night he...?" Yuushi was shocked.

Gravely Gakuto interjected, "Jumped out the window and killed himself. Yeah, I know..."

Gakuto was quiet a moment as if he was searching for what to say. He looked at Yuushi and looked worried, "Okay, you see the thing is, well, I never told anyone this, but I think I was the last person he ever talked to. I swear I never told anyone anything about this. Not even Atobe knows about this."

Yuushi felt flattered. Gakuto rarely divulged anything for free. He must really feel he could trust the tensai. Yuushi wanted his beloved to know he was safe, "You can trust me. I'll never betray you. I swear it."

The little redhead rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "I know that! I wouldn't tell you any of this if I didn't already know that." Gakuto sighed dramatically, "Anyway...where was I? Oh. I remember. Naka-san grabbed me and pulled me into a room--his room. He told me I was an idiot and was being fooled. He said that in Az...I mean...in my junior's room, all the seniors on the kendo team were waiting to do stuff to me. Sex stuff. And they were gonna make me do sex stuff to them. It was a trap Naka-san said, but I didn't understand what the hell he meant. I mean who would? He sounded crazy. Naka-san got really angry at me. I think maybe because I didn't understand, or maybe because I didn't believe him, at least not at first."

"Naka-san told me to shut up and listen because I was in danger. He was tryin to save me if I would just listen. He said the seniors in the kendo club were gonna force me do sex things with them. He said things like oral sex and that they were gonna force me to have sex with them. I musta looked all surprised and he musta thought I was just stupid. He finally said that they were gonna rape me. He used that word, rape, and Yuushi, you know that is maybe the worst thing anyone can ever say to me. I didn't believe Naka-san. I really didn't. Not right away, but then he showed me a web page he said he made. It looked like a real site and it was in Az...in the junior's room. I could see a bunch of seniors from the kendo club were there all on a web cam talking and laughing. Naka-san explained that this year they went high-tech. They made him make the site for them."

"You probably never met him Yuushi, but Naka-san was a really smart guy. Smart like you, but kinda in a different way. He was a computer genius and he told me that last year, he was me. You see, the year before Naka-san was a freshman who a junior on the kendo team became good friends with and protected. After a while of hangin out all the time together, they both kinda told each other that they liked each other. You know?" For a moment, Gakuto paused as if this was uncomfortable for him.

Yuushi wondered if Gakuto was embarrassed by two men being together. The tensai nodded to let Gakuto know he was paying attention and the little redhead settled down and looked relieved enough to continue his story. Whatever had bothered him seemed soothed.

"Anyway, Naka-san said the junior was Wadachi Hideki. He was the club president last year, and my junior's childhood best friend. Naka-san thought Wadachi was totally into him, but what the club junior guy had to do was to seduce a virgin freshman. It wasn't really like a rape because the freshman wasn't held down or anythin, but in a way, it was kinda worse. The way it works is the junior has to make a freshman like him enough to get him to show up for their first night together. Only once the freshman gets there, he finds out things are totally different than how he thought they were gonna be. Instead of it being a first date, or the first time they have sex or somethin like that, the junior has to make the freshman fall for him so much that the freshman will do anything the junior asks him to. When the freshman shows up, basically he gets pressured and the seniors all have sex with him."

Yuushi looked at Gakuto dubiously.

"I mean it Yuushi! Why the hell would I make this up? They say and do anything to get the freshman to agree. The seniors lied and told Naka-san that Wadachi had a big gambling debt. Supposedly he owed them a lot of money. Naka-san said they seemed like they were gonna beat Wadachi up and throw him outta Hyoutei if Naka-san didn't agree to do things to them all or pay them all this money. Naka-san didn't have any money. And to make it worse, they told Naka-san that Wadachi lost some kinda bet about Naka-san. Supposedly Wadachi lost because he was trying to protect Naka-san when someone was gonna beat him up. I didn't get all of that part until later, but the important thing is Naka-san to help and protect Wadachi finally agreed to let them all do things to him."

Yuushi was surprised as Gakuto snuggled closer to him as if cold and seeking warmth. Gakuto fidgeted and started shaking his leg as he did when he was stressed or excited or chilled. The tensai moved the blanket up across Gakuto's naked back and shoulders which made the redhead for some reason move even closer to him. Only when he put his hands on Gakuto's soft pale skin did his beloved roommate begin to settle down. Gakuto moved even closer. He tucked the top of his head under the tensai's chin as he lay in Yuushi's arms practically on top of him.

Not that Yuushi minded, it was rather nice and unexpected, but this didn't seem to be about warmth. That close together, Yuushi could feel Gakuto's heart fluttering in his small chest. It reminded the tensai of a scared little bird's heart and he pressed a kiss into Gakuto's damp hair.

For a moment he worried that Gakuto might catch a cold because he had such a delicate constitution. Then the tensai guessed that Gakuto was seeking was comfort, and not just temperature warmth. The small, almost subconscious act Gakuto did of moving closer to him now made the tensai feel like a superhero.

Yuushi was prepared to love Gakuto at all costs, and he made a mental note to comfort him at all costs as well. This, love and what to do when you loved a person really was all new to the tensai. Other than books or movies where everyone always just seemed to know what to do and say perfectly. Yuushi had frequently marveled at how the people always seemed to know the right thing to do, when he really didn't. When he watched a movie for the first time, Yuushi was usually surprised when the hero in the story did something wrong and then corrected it to win his love by the end. Even when he re-watched a film, Yuushi thought what the hero did was still the right thing, and often didn't understand why it was wrong. When he tried to ask people, usually women who went to the movies with him, the generally thought he was joking and would laugh.

But he was honestly confused. Someday maybe Gakuto could explain it all to him. Because even now, even though he had no doubt that he was in love, Yuushi kept feeling surprised by what was expected of him. What Gakuto needed and what was proper to do confused him. He was guessing the whole time and it never seemed in books or movies that the hero ever did that. The tensai realized just listening and being supportive for now really seemed to be doing a good job. The rest Gakuto was kind of leading on which was fine as well. One good thing about Gakuto, if he was upset because Yuushi did or didn't do something he should, at least the tensai would know. Still, he worried that he might do the wrong thing and then not know as the hero in the stories always did what the right thing to do to win his love back would be.

Yet, Yuushi looked forward to the challenge of discovering all the intricacies that came along with deeply loving someone. Perhaps if you really and truly loved someone, everything would work out fine. That was something they always said in all the books and movies.

But now, for example, at this moment, it seemed as if Gakuto was waiting for the tensai to do something. He had no idea what to do. Softly with his hand Yuushi separated the hairs on Gakuto's part and only then did a portion of the tension ebb from his roommate's beautiful body. It must have been the right thing to do. Yuushi kissed Gakuto's hair again and Gakuto snuggled up to him with a small sigh of contentment before continuing.

"I guess what they did to Naka-san...it was probably horrible, and it probably went on for hours, you know? And he thought he was doing it to save the person he had fallen for, but then Naka-san must have found out the whole thing was a lie. And everything he had done and sacrificed and been put through didn't matter to anyone but him. They used him. He was angry that night. Even a year after it happened, he was so, so angry at them, and I understood. I understood completely just like you would Yuushi, but I couldn't tell him how much I understood. Couldn't or just didn't...I don't know..."

Yuushi was just about to reassure him when Gakuto suddenly seemed to shake whatever guilt or unhappiness he seemed to be feeling. His mercurial moods changed on a whim from dark to light and without warning Gakuto was ready to continue, "Anyway Naka-san said the point of them doing all this every year is some kinda stupid loyalty test the bastards in the kendo club came up with. It's how they pick their next captain. Sometimes, like two times ever since Hyoutei started, the junior stopped the seniors from hurting his freshman, but by doing that the junior chooses the freshman over the team. The junior is then punished and hurt badly."

Gakuto's leg moved frantically as he thought through this. Yuushi realized he truly was the first person Gakuto told any of this to. He must have not even trusted Taki enough to voice any of this out loud. For too long his love had bottled up too much pain. Wryly Yuushi mused how they both had.

"But Yuushi, how can the team every year have let that happen? I mean, every year the junior chosen to maybe be the next captain would spend all that time with this freshman and know the entire time that the kid was gonna get hurt basically because the freshman stupidly fell for him. I know this is Hyoutei and I get all of that, but it would be like your big brother plannin on hurtin you from the day he meets you! Or you plannin on hurtin your own little brother after you spend all that time with him. You know, everyone says how hardcore our tennis club is, but this is really cold. This is killing a puppy cold...but worse!" Gakuto's voice crackled with emotion. The little redhead was nearly growling he was so angry.

Killing a puppy. Gakuto was referring to a common whispered rumor at and about Hyoutei. There is a persistent myth that in Hyoutei high school every year, the tennis club adopts a puppy mascot who is raised by the team. At the end of the season, the person who kills the puppy and eats its heart while it's still beating is purportedly named the next captain. While none of the Hyoutei junior high sub-regs really believe the rumor is actually true, over the years 'killing a puppy cold' had become a saying that referred to any group or individual who was ruthlessly single-minded and obsessively determined to succeed at any costs.

Atobe was that level of determined to make captain in junior high, so the phrase was usually attached to his name, but only by tennis club outsiders. Their illustrious vice-captain did not like the term used ever. Not even in jest, and Atobe's power was so encompassing the expression had become a whispered thing in their school. Probably in others as well. Which of course Yuushi conversely discovered only added to the mystery and drama.

The puppy killing Yuushi figured really was just a rumor, but it was one that like all the others helped elevate the mystique that surrounded their national level tennis club. Yuushi almost smiled as he recalled how Gakuto had taken Ohtori around when the freshman first arrived. It was the only way Yuushi knew that Ohtori's story and loss touched Gakuto deeply. It was another example of how Gakuto reached out and cared for people he liked, and unfortunately, his gestures were too often overlooked. It was easy to dismiss Gakuto as callus or frivolous when he truly ran much deeper than everyone else knew.

Gakuto patiently spent hours with Ohtori. Hours where he explained every Hyoutei rumor and expression the redhead thought would help the painfully shy and emotionally overwhelmed freshman. Out of the blue, Ohtori had become extremely distraught over the killing the puppy expression. He became so worked up that Gakuto had to reassure the freshman several times it was just a rumor and most likely really not true.

Even so, Ohtori still continued to get upset at the term or maybe at the thought. Yuushi finally had to intercede and reassured Ohtori that Atobe would never abide any animal abuse and would not allow anything like that to really happen. He explained to the freshman that it was just a tall tale, as was that they sweat blood from working so hard when it was the cheap dye in their expensive shirts. Eventually, through calm talking and logic Yuushi had been able to calm the freshman down. Finally, Gakuto had been able to continue on in Ohtori's speed-education course of how to survive at Hyoutei.

The little redhead never said a word at the time, but apparently he had been very grateful to the tensai. Gakuto had later that night thanked Yuushi nicely by buying the tensai dinner. It was the first time Gakuto invited Yuushi anywhere alone. True, the little redhead never said that was why he did it, but Yuushi knew how Ohtori getting upset had bothered Gakuto. The little redhead hated when his jokes went bad and really got upset when he thought someone didn't like him. Especially someone Gakuto had decided he liked.

For various reasons Yuushi had surmised, Gakuto seemed to very much like and admire Ohtori, so it would have crushed him if Ohtori didn't want to be his friend. After that, Gakuto was very careful about never saying any jokes that referred to that expression around Ohtori again. Gakuto had an amazing ability to adapt himself to fit his company.

The little redhead adapted again that night when he took the tensai to dinner. It had been Yuushi's first time at a family restaurant and he had enjoyed the experience and the meal tremendously. The whole thing had fascinated him, as did Gakuto's laughing response to Yuushi being intrigued by apparently simple things most people take for granted. It had been a good evening. What the tensai had been most astounded by was how patient Gakuto was when he understood that Yuushi was not joking.

Yuushi had never eaten in a place like that and found everything new in a foreign way and the customs quaint. He let Gakuto explain everything to him and the little redhead seemed to charmingly revel in the attention. Gakuto took the same care and attention with him there that the little redhead had taken with Ohtori earlier. It eased a jealous burn Yuushi hadn't realized he felt when watching Gakuto with the shy freshman, but looking back, Yuushi had been jealous. The tensai wondered to himself if Gakuto had somehow known, even then.

Suddenly, Yuushi thought to himself that he needed to stop distracting himself from what Gakuto was telling him by thinking other things. What Gakuto was saying was distressing to the tensai who usually tuned out things that upset him rather than deal with them. Really, Yuushi told himself, he should pay attention to what his beloved little redhead was saying since it was so important to Gakuto. The problem was, Yuushi already figured out who the bastard who hurt Gakuto was and he wanted to tear him apart. Wanting that now however would help nothing.

Gakuto continued and fortunately did not seem to notice Yuushi's attention had drifted away for a moment, "So, if the junior stopped them from hurtin the freshman what would happen to him was he would get beat up or something that night, and then be thrown outta the club and school soon after. They don't shun them until the person leaves school like the tennis club would. But, if the junior let them have his way with the freshman, then it proves his stupid loyalty to the club. It made that junior now be their team vice-captain and the year after he would be captain. It was some kinda big honor and totally stupid."

He looked up at Yuushi angry, "Isn't it stupid? It's like provin you're the biggest bastard on the planet and that's why everyone should look up to you. It's kinda their club's hazing ritual--their version of a sharing--or at least it was. They considered it an honor for the freshman who was chosen. Yeah, right, some damn honor."

"The team supposedly always treats the freshman like an honored team mascot and they're all supposedta take care of him after it happens, but Naka-san, he didn't take what they did to him lightly. He fell for Wadachi and thought the bastard loved him too. He only did it because he thought they were really gonna hurt Wadachi. So Naka-san let them do those things to him and hurt him that night, but then when Naka-san found out that it was all some kinda sicko club game for the junior he thought he loved, he decided to take action. He put up with their crap all year because Wadachi who became their vice-captain, and then their captain, continued to force Naka-san to do stuff, sex stuff whenever he wanted."

Gakuto nodded gravely, and Yuushi's blood ran cold. "Naka-san said all year the junior made Naka-san do anything he felt like. They videotaped what they did to him and Wadachi threatened to sell the tape to people if Naka-san didn't do whatever he wanted. Naka-san woulda lost his scholarship and been expelled. He had no where to go he told me. No family, no one to care for him, and no choice. He did whatever Wadachi asked him to. From school projects to sex things with him and even other guys, Naka-san was almost like his slave. Wadachi usedta tell Naka-san to show him he loved him. That's what he usedta say. I looked it up later and Naka-san was really alone, Yuushi. He wasn't close to anyone and he didn't have any real friends. He was here on full scholarship and didn't really have any family or I guess anyone he could talk to about any of this. I guess he went kinda insane because he didn't have anyone to help him." Gakuto's voice was full and hoarse with emotion.

Yuushi wasn't sure if it was Gakuto feeling empathy for he could well understand the pain of having a secret and no one to tell for so long, or perhaps something else.

"I didn't help him. I barely heard what Naka-san was sayin to me when he told me. I only put it all together later because at the time I think I kinda was in shock. I didn't believe this was happening to me--again. I felt dizzy and like I was gonna throw up. My heart was beatin so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. I had to sit down and Naka-san put his arm around me. He made me breathe into a paper bag until I calmed down and while I was doin that, he kept tellin me it would all be okay now. He said he was gonna help me and that I was safe because he saved me. He seemed really happy about savin me."

"I guess I was cryin. Naka-san tried to make me feel better. He said he saw me go into the junior's room the night before and guessed what we did. He said that it was breakin the rules for the junior to touch me before the seniors at all. They're not even supposedta kiss you. Naka-san told me he thought maybe my junior really did like me enough to risk everythin, but it looked like my junior was still gonna let them have their way with me. He'd have to or he'd have gotten punished by them. He woulda let the team down. Naka-san told me the more the freshman agrees to do stupidly outta love, the better things go for the junior."

"Naka-san said he got a copy of the video they made. He said he saw everything of what they did to him the year before and he was gonna make them all pay. They recorded them hurtin him Yuushi and he said they were so stupid about it they all recorded their faces on camera. Those stupid bastards! Naka-san said was gonna send the video to people and ruin the whole team. He said at first he was gonna let it happen to me and use the website as proof too because Wadachi, that bastard, supposedly sold access to perverts to watch me get raped, but Naka-san said he felt too guilty. He didn't want me to suffer like he had. He said when we were in grade school this one time, right after his mom died, some kids were pickin on him and even though they were all older than me, I went up and told them to back off. Naka-san said I made lotsa jokes until the guys left him alone. I don't even remember it, but it sounds like somethin I would do, you know?"

Gakuto shrugged. Yuushi could well see him doing just that. Gakuto didn't give himself enough credit, but Yuushi felt his little redhead was very fair and tried to keep the underdogs from getting too picked on. It was just the way he naturally was. Yuushi said softly, "Indeed, that does sound like you."

"Yeah. So instead of lettin them just hurt me, Naka-san decided he was gonna help me. He told me I was gonna be his legacy. He gave me a website on a piece of paper and said to use his given name and the date he was attacked as the password. I still didn't believe him all the way. I still thought maybe it was some kinda trick or a joke or somethin, and then while I watched on the computer, my junior dialed his cell phone on the website and my phone rang. I answered it right away so he didn't hear it ring because I was just down the hall. My heart was bangin in my chest so hard it hurt. It was like I had to run wind sprints after laps, and I saw him ask on screen like the same time I heard him say it. He asked where I was because he said he was waitin for me. He said he was worried about me. He asked me if I needed help or him to come get me because he didn't want anything bad to happen to me. I watched the guys on the screen leerin and gesturin about what they were gonna do to me and he smiled back at them. I realized it was all true. It was all true and I couldn't believe it."

Gakuto's voice cracked. He was very upset. His heart must have been broken. Yuushi held him closer and tighter, reminding himself not to squeeze Gakuto because he wanted to hurt the bastard who hurt him.

After a moment, Gakuto went on, "I was shocked and felt sick. What the fuck had I done? What the fuck had I done to deserve this? Again? I was mad at myself. And I was angry at that junior bastard. For lyin to me. For makin me trust him. For plannin to let them hurt me all along. I felt like I was a little kid again and I finally had a chance to yell at the bastards who were gonna hurt me just before they did. I opened my mouth to tell him he was a complete and total bastard and to fuck off and die, but before I could say a word, Naka-san grabbed my phone from me and hung up."

"He said if I let them know I knew, I would be in danger. I watched my junior on the screen saying my name wondering if the call disconnected. I watched him redial but Naka-san had already turned off my phone. I think I mighta cried a little. Later on, after things calmed down, I even thought that maybe Naka-san had looked up my past and knew what happened to me. I mean, I hadn't hid anything back then and he was real smart like that. I don't know. I used to have bad dreams about what happened and in them I could never tell Naka-san to not kill himself in time because he always seemed to know about my past and I got too upset. Even when I dreamed about him, I never could save him no matter how I tried."

"Anyway, Naka-san told me it would be better for me to tell my junior if he called again and after I was somewhere safe that things were just goin too fast and I needed some time to think. Naka-san said not to worry about revenge because my junior was gonna be punished by them and the rest of them were gonna be punished by Naka-san."

"What happened next is kinda fuzzy because by then I was really upset. Naka-san somehow walked me downstairs and out of their dorm. I don't think anyone saw us or noticed. He told me to go right to dinner and act like nothin ever happened. I told him I felt too sick to eat, but he said no that I had to go. He said I hadta act normal and stick with my friends even if I felt sick or upset. He said I would be in danger if the kendo club ever found out I knew. Instead, I needed to be with my friends to be safe. I shouldn't be alone."

"Naka-san said when the junior called again to remember to tell him I needed to think and wanted to be left alone. No matter what the junior said, I shouldn't meet him even if he said he was in trouble because it was a trick. Naka-san said that later that night I should check out the website on the piece of paper and to save everything because it would only be able to be accessed once. He said it was very, very important. He made me promise and told me he was glad he met me one last time. He said he was happy he could help me like I once helped him. Naka-san said again he was passing on his legacy to me, and to make him proud. I was so in shock I wasn't sure what the hell he meant and couldn't even take it all in. I've always felt bad because I don't even think I said thank you to him."

"So, I washed my face and got to dinner around when everyone else did. None of the kendo club or the junior showed up and I was too sick to eat. You came over and asked if you could sit by me. I do remember that kinda. You kinda talked to me but I couldn't tell you what it was about or anything we said. My junior called again at the end of dinner and asked where the hell I was. He sounded upset and I couldn't tell if he was angry or relieved because he sounded like he mighta been both. I told him what Naka-san said to about needing to think and that things were too fast. He offered to come talk to me, in fact he begged to see me or for me to meet him, but I told him I was at dinner with the tennis club and was busy after. I said I wanted to be alone. I went with everyone to watch a movie in someone's room. I don't even remember where it was or what we saw. I just went along to not be alone. You were there and I think you sat next to me. Yeah, you did. I remember now cause Atobe was mad because Shishido was on the other side of you. You took the space that Atobe wanted so he ended up sittin by Taki who made a big deal about it to me later. Like Atobe chose to sit by him." Gakuto rolled his eyes.

"I don't even remember what movie was playin or what everyone talked about because all I could think about was what happened. How stupid I was. Part of me wanted to run to see him and demand to know if it was true, but I was too scared to really do it. But if I could, I wanted to ask him why. I just wanted to know why. And I wanted to know how he could do that to me, but then another part of me was really angry because it almost happened to me again. I didn't know what the hell to think or do. It was near the end of the movie when some teachers came around and told everyone there'd been an "incident" and we all had to go to back to our own rooms for the night. The guy Taki usedta date was a freshman in the kendo club and he called Taki before we all got back to our rooms to tell him about Naka-san. Remember? I wanted details and felt so bad. I know I shoulda done or said something to Naka-san but I was too in shock. I didn't know. Maybe I coulda stopped him, I dunno, but I didn't do anything."

Yuushi did remember, but he had been so focused on his own feelings and situation he never noticed Gakuto's distress until now. Photographically looking back, the tensai was amazed at how much he had missed that evening. "There was probably nothing you could have done. You made him feel good and he got to help you his last night. You couldn't have done much more than that. You're not responsible when someone..." Yuushi saw how suddenly angry Gakuto was and his words dried up.

"I know. I was friends with Taki who is like a walking encyclopedia for mental illness and depression and stuff, but I still feel bad. Maybe if I said or did one thing instead of only thinkin about myself I coulda helped him. Anyway, I got upset when I heard. Really upset and confused and then I remembered what he told me to do, and I looked online at the site. I didn't know until later that by my lookin at it that it automatically sent out anonymous emails Naka-san wanted sent to everyone in power. I also didn't have any idea that it sent copies of the tape to people all over. I was so stunned when I saw what it was that I almost forgot to save everything. Yuushi, Naka-san is the one who gave me the pass codes for the whole school and there were instructions there on how to do everything. Seriously with what he gave me, he taught me more than I've learned the entire time I've been at Hyoutei. I'm okay with computers, I mean, I know my way around them and all, but Naka-san, he was a tensai with them."

Gakuto turned to him, his small storm of emotion suddenly passed for him, but he hadn't seen how upset Yuushi was feeling. The little redhead seemed to be more ready to confess everything, "I know everyone thinks I paid big bucks for the codes or that I used sex or something, but I didn't pay anythin--at least not any money. I was really hurt though, for a long time and then like a complete idiot I went and trusted and liked Sato. Guess I have pretty shitty taste in guys. I woulda been better off bein like you and Taki and havin a crush on Atobe." Gakuto smirked, "Although I probably woulda killed him if the bastard drugged me like they say he did with Shishido, especially if he was bad at kissing like you said he was. See? I suck at pickin people to like. Probably why I never liked you before. I never like nice guys...at least I never did before you..." Gakuto cocked his head and looked confused, "What...?"

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Learning to Land