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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land. Chapter Ninety Three ~Oshitari~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Gakuto looked at him in awe totally caught up in the story. "Who was it Yuushi...? No way..."

"Indeed. It was my tutor. He said he knew where I was and was coming to get me. He was basically a raving lunatic on the phone. I remember him babbling on and on about all these insane things. He said we would never be separated again. How he owned me. How I was his. He made me. I couldn't live without him. How he would never let me go and all this other nonsense..." Yuushi heard how tense his voice was becoming so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

Gakuto looked stunned, "Yuushi! How did he find you? What did you say to him? What happened? What did you do? Did you hang up on him? Did you call your parents? What?"

"I still do not know how he found me. I really have no idea, but I do know now that he was very intelligent and very determined--and very insane. At the time actually, I didn't react at all. I stood there in shock listening as he went on and on. I was a million miles from home, and I had thought the only good thing about my being sent there was that I was supposed to be safe. I was away from everything and everyone I had ever known ostensibly for my safety, and now I didn't even have that. And remember, I didn't know where he was even if he knew where I was. So I had no idea how close he might be or how he found me. He could have been calling from down the street. He could have been calling from down the hall. I remember thinking how I had lost everything and had nothing and now was in danger, and I guess I dropped the phone. I became so upset and afraid that I..I..." Yuushi couldn't admit it out loud.

"You peed." Gakuto filled in the blank for him.

Yuushi put his head down and nodded. He could feel his face was burning red and he was glad for the candles only lighting the room.

Putting his arms around him and turning to face him, Gakuto said softly, "You were just scared Yuushi. Really, really scared. I mean the psycho bastard was stalking you. It's a normal response when you're really scared, and you were just a little kid. You were all alone. I...you saw I did it when Sato went to hurt me. I didn't even know you were there and I did that and worse because I was really afraid. You saved me. By the way, in case I forgot to tell you back when it happened, sorry...I'm really sorry..."

The tensai held him closer, "You have nothing to be sorry for. All that matters to me is that I arrived in time to save you. I was selfish and not thinking of your well being. I only doubled back because I realized from your responses that Sato might be as insane as my tutor, and I had a bad feeling. Something didn't feel right and for once, I went with my instincts instead of logically dismissing my gut feelings as a whim or even wishful thinking that I wanted to see you again. If he had seriously hurt him I don't know what I would have done. I might have killed him if he had hurt you. I wanted to..." Yuushi said it seriously still feeling rage at anyone harming Gakuto but he kissed Gakuto lightly to take the ferocity out of his words.

"You saved me..." Gakuto said softly and kissed Yuushi deeper. The little redhead turned more in the tensai's arms to face him. Yuushi felt his anger abate almost instantly. "Did I thank you? Cause...you know...thanks..." Gakuto kissed him softly and so sweet Yuushi forgot what they were talking about.

It took him a moment after the kiss broke to think again, "You...you don't need to thank me. I truly don't know what I would have done if you were seriously injured. Shall I continue with what happened?" Gakuto nodded wide eyed and interested so Yuushi went on, "My school told my parents about my urinating and they found out about the phone calls..."

"Calls? As in more than one?" Gakuto interrupted.

Yuushi sighed, "Yes. He even sometimes had women call for him and give my mother or sister's name so I wouldn't know it was him on the phone. Although, I adapted. I never urinated again and I tried to be vigilant all the time. Any moment I felt like if I let my guard down he would walk up to me and abduct me or kill me, as he often said he was going to if I refused to be with him, which of course I would have. So I had that major stress in addition to the students who detested me. The school recommended that I return home where I could be watched more closely. I'm sure they did not want to take responsibility and plus did not wish to have the scandal attached to their name if something should happen, but at the same time, I was elated. I thought it was my chance to go home. I kept thinking that if only I was home, I could be safe and feel good again. I thought certainly my parents would see reason and bring me home. I told my parents if I was home, everything would be better for me. I could go to my old school and be with my family and friends at least. My parents said they were considering it, but then I found out that they weren't."

Yuushi was surprised to find he was angry about this. He thought he was over what happened, but he had never told anyone what happened. "The whole 'we're thinking about it and probably going to bring you home' and 'we're looking into options' stories my parents told me were all lies. My sister by accident informed me my parents planned a party at the end of the month. My sister didn't know about my tutor. She just called to check in with me at my new school and spilled the truth about the party and then that my parents were each going on separate vacations. I knew then I was to remain away at school. The night I found out the truth, that I was stuck at that school with my tutor lurking who knows where with no possibility of going home, I took the sleeping pills."

Gakuto looked at him in shock.

Yuushi shrugged. "I didn't want it to work, I just wanted help and for my parents to understand and notice my distress. Ironically, my tutor may have saved me. Someone called and they were unable to wake me to answer the phone. I left my door unlocked, so I suppose I was hoping someone would find me. I really didn't want to die, I even did my homework before I took the pills. It's stupid I know, but I really just wanted my parents to...I'm not sure how to say it...take responsibility for me, perhaps?"

Gakuto looked angry, "No, you wanted them to love you. And they should have. What idiots! They're your damn parents! So they told you they were gonna bring you home and were looking into it, and they were lying the whole time!"

Yuushi shrugged. Gakuto being angry helped soothe the anger and an ache that Yuushi usually ignored that he felt.

"What happened after you took the pills?" Gakuto asked.

Yuushi wasn't sure what he meant, "The school? My parents? I wound up in the hospital with my stomach pumped. They made me see a shrink a few times a week to talk about my feelings--which I really did not do. I had an inkling that if I said everything that actually happened to me and everything I was feeling then maybe the shrink would possibly even hospitalize me. I didn't feel safe talking to him. I remained in that school until the year was over. My parents said it would build character. The school was not happy and refused me the following year using an excuse. It wasn't the incident with the pills that caused them to refuse, but the guys bullying me got out of hand as the year progressed and the new tennis season started. I had grown significantly taller and stronger during that year and started fighting back by then. I took my stress and anger out on whoever dared to attack me. When they would say or do something I didn't like, I began to beat the hell out of them. Eventually they stopped. The school refused me and I came home. My parents were not happy. Well, particularly my mother who has something to prove."

"That's where you learned howta fight?" Gakuto asked and seemed in awe. Absently he started running his fingertips over Yuushi's knuckles and up his arms over his muscles. Which was rather enjoyable and distracting in a nice, sexy way. "I saw you with Sato. You're really strong. I never woulda thought you were such a good fighter. When you first jumped on him I was scared for you, but then after a few seconds I was kinda scared that you were gonna really hurt him. When I grabbed you to get you inside, I was kinda worried you would still be angry, maybe at me, but you weren't." Gakuto kissed him softly. "You were just like you always are with me." The little redhead smiled and Yuushi was unsure why that would make him so happy. He decided to file away the information to ponder it over later.

Yuushi nodded and smiled slightly. He held Gakuto's hand in his own to stop letting Gakuto distract him. "That is where I learned to fight. I didn't know it would be such a useful skill when I came here, however. I'll always be there to stop Sato, so I don't want you to worry anymore. No one will ever hurt you again."

Gakuto smiled in a smirk as if he was going to laugh, but then his brow creased, "Wait, what does your mom have to prove?"

So he was listening. The tensai had to keep himself from grinning. He hadn't told a soul at Hyoutei this and had always figured Gakuto would love to discover this juicy pearl of information. Yuushi was fairly certain Atobe probably knew but then again situations like this were fairly common among the upper class although never openly discussed. For now Yuushi enjoyed that Gakuto was not upper class, "She has to prove to my father that she's better than my father's mistress. And probably to herself as well."

Predictably and adorably, Gakuto's jaw dropped open. "Your father has a mistress! Really?"

"Yes. Supposedly she is a former geisha. And I've heard she and my father have a son." Yuushi tried to sound very nonplussed about this, but he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Gakuto as was enthralled as Yuushi had guessed he would be. The little redhead was ready to fire questions at the tensai who endeavored to cut him off by answering things first, "I never met her, my father's mistress, or my half-brother. Everyone in our family seems to know, but it's not discussed. Not ever. Gakuto, that is the only thing you cannot mention when you meet my parents. That...and what happened with my tutor. My mother doesn't do well with problems or situations. She embarrasses and angers easily, but anything else should be fine. Mostly my parents will ask you about tennis club and then discuss the weather. You'll be bored to tears but the dining experience will be superior and you will enjoy the hotel. We'll have a good time, I promise."

The little redhead paused only a moment to soak up what the tensai said before his curiosity got the better of him, "Yeah but, how long has your father and his mistress been together? How did they meet? Was she a geisha when they met? How often do they see each other? Where does she live? How old is your half-brother? Older than you? Younger? You have a half-brother out there Yuushi. Don't you want to know him?" Gakuto seemed more awed by the half-brother thing than Yuushi imagined. He thought Gakuto would be more interested in the possible former geisha and mistress angle.

Yuushi laughed because Gakuto looked like he wanted to ask a thousand more questions. The tensai held up his hands in surrender as he laughed, "I'm sorry. I really don't know any more concrete details. I believe that he is younger than me by a year or two. Apparently my cousin knows a little about him from family rumors and a while ago passed the information along to me. My cousin plays tennis and says he's heard my half-brother does too. I don't even know if my half-brother knows about me. Or wants to know me. He might resent me for being my father's first son and the one my father formally recognizes. I have no idea. If he wanted to meet me, I would see him. I might even someday give him a portion of my inheritance if he is truly related to me and is truly my father's son. I really do not know. My father as you will see is not a very warm man, so I've always wondered after I found out if my father perhaps was more loving to his mistress and his other son. Maybe. Actually, I hope so. Even if my father is not very affectionate with me or my mother, it is nice for me to think about him finding real love and happiness somewhere. I believe everyone deserves at least one great love in their lives..." Yuushi mused at his laying in his arms.

Gakuto's leg started shaking, "Do you think your parents would ever get a divorce? Your mom knows if she's trying to prove she's better, right?"

"I'm fairly certain that she knows, but my parents will never divorce. They are very stoic and traditional people, but it's more than that. I'm sure when they wed they both signed prenuptial agreements, but regardless the fact is my parents don't actually have a lot of money. My mother has her family name which is quite a good socially acceptable one, one of those old money names, but my father's family had all the money. My parents had an arranged marriage which benefited everyone, but my grandfather was not pleased. I remember him as an angry man who seemed to not really care for his sons. He often called them trouble-making slackers and other derogatory terms. I do not believe he ever liked or trusted my father nor did he believe my mother was a suitable match, so he changed his will years later without telling anyone. He took his vengeance out from the grave. My cousin and I inherited his money, not our parents. We each have a trust fund which we can claim half when we're 18 and the rest at 25. I am supposed to receive a larger portion of my grandfather's estate because my grandfather always seemed to like me more. He said I was a quiet child and that's why he liked me better." Yuushi shrugged.

"My parents earn an additional small sum of money as the estate trustees until I am old enough to inherit. My father makes good money, but he has two expensive households to maintain and my mother spends a lot of money. She loves to take expensive trips and wear nice clothes. It's expensive being a socialite and she considers it her job and her duty to my father. If they divorced, neither of my parents would live as richly and according to my grandfather's will they could lose everything. I believe they will remain married although their marriage is from what I've seen loveless." Yuushi shrugged.

Gakuto grinned and his leg shook faster, "How much money we talkin about? You're 63rd, right?"

Yuushi chuckled. The Hyoutei list. Someone was always keeping track of what you had or someday would have and ranking the students accordingly. Money at Hyoutei was not a proper subject to be discussed and it wasn't--at least not openly. It was whispered about incessantly however. Gakuto knew almost everyone of the top one hundred wealthiest students by memory. Yuushi mused his little redhead could probably recite how old and terms and conditions each one had to meet to inherit their fortunes.

But not even Gakuto knew this.

Yuushi said without hesitating, "My current ranking only takes into account around a quarter of what I will inherit, but not the bulk of the estate I'll receive if I were to marry or when I turn 25. And because I'm main inheritor, not my cousin, as I said I will receive a much greater portion of the estate. My grandfather was big on men and who he liked best, although I barely recall meeting him. I basically spent my time in his massive library reading whenever I was there, which coincidentally, I also inherited. My sister will barely inherit anything so she has plans to marry well. It's expected by my parents and her, although of course I will always help her out. I love my sister. Even though she is older than I am, she has always made an effort to keep in contact with me."

Gakuto's mouth worked but no sound came out. He must have been multiplying furiously in his head. Yuushi saw what he was struggling to say and said the actual number for him. It was a large number. Larger than anyone could ever spend in ten lifetimes. And that was why the tensai intended to give his younger half-brother a portion of it if they ever met, but Yuushi felt too hurt by the family he had to reach out looking for more. He didn't know if his half-brother knew about him or that their father was married. He had no idea and didn't want to upset anyone. It was a precarious situation, but one that worked because all the participants turned blind eyes to each other. As it was, Yuushi often hoped his half-brother was happy and had a happy childhood. He wished his brother felt always safe, always happy, and always loved. At least one of his father's sons should have that Yuushi figured.

Gakuto finally found his voice and cursed a few favorite oaths, "Yuushi! That makes you what...fifth? You're number five?" The little redhead swore in a long colorful string of curses.

Yuushi said rather defensively, "I suppose, although I do plan on working in some field and earning a living. It would be irresponsible of me to not use the gifts I have been fortunate enough to receive. I enjoy learning and... Gakuto, is there something wrong?"

His beloved was sputtering and stammered out, "Ju...just thinking of you in a thong bikini...on our island..."

Yuushi laughed, "Oh. Your dream?" A sudden sinking feeling hit the tensai, "Gakuto, seriously, if someday you want to get married, it's okay. I understand. You...should have children someday."

"What? And you're just fine with that!" Gakuto was suddenly angry but Yuushi had no idea why. "That doesn't bother you at all?"

"No, I..." Yuushi didn't understand where this sudden anger was coming from, "Of course not, but...I want you to be happy. I don't want you to miss out on anything because...because I'm a man..." Despite the searing pain in his chest, Yuushi suddenly pictured a row of beautiful, bright, redheaded happy children loudly laughing and cavorting as they played with their beloved father. Gakuto would be a wonderful father. "You'll have beautiful children someday..."

Gakuto was livid, "Why don't you ask me before you go decidin what I should and shouldn't do? You talk about beatin the curse and swear to always protect me and then you go and say crap like that? What the hell, Yuushi? I don't care that you're a guy! And I already told you I can't have kids!"

Yuushi reviewed and was lost, "When did you tell me you couldn't have children? You can't have children?"

Exasperated Gakuto said, "Yeah! And I didn't tell you, I told that bitch Naomi. But you were there--when we were both doin her! You heard me say it!"

Very cautiously Yuushi tread, "You said you didn't want children, not that you couldn't have them. Why...?"

"You know why, Yuushi! Because of what happened to me! They fixed me as best they could but some things inside they couldn't fix. Everythin works so it's fine, right? It doesn't matter that I'm always gonna be smaller than a lotta the other guys. I'm never gonna be how tall I woulda been becausa what happened and I can't have kids...!" Gakuto went to turn away again, but the tensai pulled him close to his chest. He felt heat and those breaths from Gakuto again so he guessed his beautiful perfect little redhead was crying.

Yuushi didn't read any of this in the medical reports but he knew from other cases he reviewed, "You're height is affected by your skull fracture? There are treatments. Human growth hormo..."

Muffled Gakuto spit back, "I know! I usedta have to get the damn shots every week and they didn't do a damn thing but hurt like hell and make my parents almost go broke tryin to treat me! It doesn't matter! I told you! Everything works so it's fine! It's fine. I live in Japan where I can be short and not look weird! And before you guess, there was scar tissue down there and things ruptured and stuff so they said I probably can't have kids. Not that I want them! Because who the hell wants to go through everythin I put my parents through...?" Gakuto started crying hard suddenly.

Yuushi had no idea what to do. He reviewed every comforting thing he had ever read people doing or saying but nothing seemed to fit the situation. The thought of Gakuto not able to have children though broke Yuushi's heart. That shouldn't have been taken away from him. Gakuto would make a wonderful father. He was a patient teacher and would be his children's best friend as well as their parent. He would be the kind of father Yuushi often wished he had. And in the next moment, the tensai noticed that he was also crying. It had been a long and emotional day he knew, but this was too hard for him to hear. Without censoring himself, Yuushi said through tears, "Don't worry. I'll become a doctor and fix you. I'll find a way to mend whatever is wrong..."

Gakuto through sobs snorted a laugh, "Yeah right, you'll go through all that school just to fix me so I can leave you and marry someone else and have kids with them? That sounds so..."

Yuushi said crying harder, "Stupid. I know. I'm stupid, but I love you, Gakuto. I really do love you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you've ever wanted out of life. I don't matter, Gakuto, you do. All that matters to me is what you want and..."

Gakuto shocked Yuushi by suddenly grabbing the tensai's ears and twisting roughly, "You are SO annoying when you think stupid things like that! Cut it out! Of course you matter. Of course what you want matters! It matters to me. I can't be the only one who wants things, Yuushi! You've gotta tell me what you want! You gotta be honest with me and tell me! What do you really want?"

"I..." Yuushi was completely confused. He thought to himself this was getting to be his only state of being around Gakuto, confusion. Yuushi ventured by saying, "I only really want...you. I only want to be with you. That's all that I want and all that matters to me other than that is your happiness."

"Then fight for me, Yuushi. Show me that you want it." It was what their coach often said when he felt you were not working hard enough. That you had to show him you wanted it. "Show me that you want me. I'm gonna fight for you because I want you, but I can't do it alone. You can't change your mind. I'm sick of people wantin to be with me and then changin their mind or wantin other things! If you want me then you gotta fight for me. You've gotta want this for real too."

Yuushi was stunned speechless. Gakuto wanted him? Gakuto, who could have anyone in the world, wanted him? Gakuto wanted to be with him? Yuushi marveled at this, "Ga...Gakuto, I do want to be with you. More than anything. For real. I will never change my mind. I will never stop loving you or wanting to be with you. I'll fight for you. I'll show you every day and every night how completely and utterly I want this and want you. I love you. Do you believe me when I say I love you?"

Gakuto nodded and then smiled wryly, "I think you really think you love me." Yuushi went to protest that he truly did but Gakuto was moving on. With a shrug he said, "I don't know how you can say it like that."

The tensai was confused, "Say what like how? Say that I love you? How am I say...?"

Looking annoyed Gakuto sighed, "I mean say it so easy like that. I mean...it's easy for you to say. You say it like you say it all the time or somethin."

Yuushi thought a moment, "I suppose it's easy for me to say because it's truly how I feel, but the first time was difficult. I wanted to tell you a thousand times since I first knew how I felt about you. At first it took me months to work up the courage to tell you that I liked you or were interested in you, but then came Sato and it wasn't...appropriate. As time went by and my feelings for you grew, I wanted to tell you more and more but I was...afraid I guess. I kept thinking that you would figure out who it was. You asked often who I liked and when I said I was in love, I worried that you would somehow already have known."

Gakuto shrugged, "I didn't know. Sorry. I guess I shoulda but I didn't. When you came to my room and told me, I thought you were makin a bad joke or somethin. I'm sorry, Yuushi. I didn't know."

Yuushi smiled slightly, "I was so nervous when I told you I thought for certain you could hear my heart beating."

Gakuto laughed as if surprised, "Really? You looked just like you always do."

The tensai figured that probably meant he looked as stupid or as goofy as ever. Yuushi smiled a little wondering how he was lucky enough to end up here with Gakuto. "I practiced and went over exactly what I wanted to say to you at least a thousand times. I tried to prepare for every possible scenario--including the obvious ones where you either did not believe me or where you laughed at me or both." Yuushi suddenly felt embarrassed, "I never planned for what happened, nor would I wish for things to have occurred as they did, but however it happened, I'm so very glad that you're here now. Sometimes I feel like asking you to pinch me, but, then again, if this isn't real, I will be so deeply disappointed when I wake up...ouch!"

Gakuto grabbed some skin on Yuushi's chest and pinched it hard with a twisting motion. "Stop thinkin negative things. See? It's real and I'm here. With you." Gakuto shrugged, "It doesn't matter what happened because you can't change the past. Sometimes, you can't even erase it or forget it no matter how you try, but I think you can still be happy, you know? Everyone deserves to be, but it's the people who work hard that get there. It's kinda like you gotta make the choice that you wanna be happy and then like tennis or algebra or somethin, you gotta work real hard and practice all the time without ever givin up. I'm real good at that, Yuushi. I kinda know how to do it because I've been workin on it for a long time. I can show you how if you want. Besides, I owe you. You saved me..."

Yuushi kissed where Gakuto's tears were although he felt like crying again. His brave little redhead was so loving and giving and strong it was overwhelming sometimes. "You don't owe me anything. The truth is, you saved me first. Back on the day we met. I told you there were only two times when I seriously wanted to kill myself--when I really thought I wanted to die, but what I didn't tell you before is there were three times when I tried."

Before Gakuto could stop him or react, Yuushi pushed ahead to get this out once and for all, "The next time I tried after being overseas is the night before I was supposed to come to Hyoutei. Behind my back, my parents had the servants pack for me and my things shipped ahead so I couldn't hide any of my mother's sleeping pills again. I was desperate to not come here, but I didn't want to die. I just wanted my parents to come to their senses. I took my mother's pills when I was in her bathroom when she was certain to find me."

Gakuto looked at him shocked.

"I woke up in the hospital and my parents were angry. I thought it would be a sign to them that I should stay home, but they were furious. Furious, but even more determined to send me away here than ever. They said I was acting childish and that they wouldn't give into my temper tantrum. That is why I arrived late and why I looked so...dishevaled. I went directly from the hospital to the plane. It happened so fast I had to remove the hospital bracelet on the flight. I had no time alone to think until I got on the plane and then I had too long to think by myself. And I figured when no one talked to me or worked out with me that I was hated again like in my old school. I wasn't seeing things clearly because I was too distraught. I knew my parents wouldn't let me come home so I started doing that condition thing. I would say to myself, if someone talks to me in the next five minutes, I won't kill myself. And five minutes passed and someone must have said a word or two to me. So I said, if I beat the next person I play, then I won't kill myself. And I won."

"You bastard!" Gakuto half-pushed and half-punched Yuushi in the chest. It made this dull, hollow thud noise. The little redhead was somewhere between crying and looking more angry than the tensai had ever seen him, "You idiot!" He was close to crying again, "You stupid jackass! You were playin that stupid game waitin to see if someone talked to you that day after practice. And no one did! If I hadn'ta talked to you--you woulda done it? How the hell do you think that woulda made me feel, Yuushi?"

Yuushi was deeply embarrassed about this. About all of this. Looking back it was rather childish and stupid, but at the time, it seemed to make sense in a very messed up way. If someone came to Yuushi now and told him they did what he did and thought what he thought back then, he would tell them they were crazy. He buried his head in Gakuto's small chest and cried a little out of shame and for the pathetic crazy and lonely person he was when he arrived, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking right. I wasn't thinking about anything but my own feelings. I was only thinking that no one in the world cared if I lived or died and it would probably be better if I..."

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