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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter Ninety Six part A ~Mukahi~
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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But just thinking of it, of Yuushi going and Gakuto letting him go forever, really hurt. It felt like someone punched him in the stomach. It hurt so bad it burned leaving an empty ache centered in his chest. It hurt so bad, it made Gakuto whimper out loud.
Yuushi must have heard the tiny sound while they were kissing. Somehow he have sensed something was going on with Gakuto even though the tensai probably couldn't see in the poorly lit room. The tensai made soothing noises and said things to Gakuto. Yuushi said that it was okay. That he was here with Gakuto and wouldn't let anyone hurt him ever again. Yuushi swore it, bound it with their oath and like always, he told Gakuto he loved him.
Over and over Yuushi said he loved him. Yuushi had been saying he loved Gakuto all along. Yuushi showed Gakuto that he loved him with every single thing he said and every single thing he did. Over and over...
He loved him...
It was only then that Gakuto realized that they were both too far gone for either of them to let the other one go. Stupid, stupid, stupid Yuushi. Stupid tensai.
He loved him.
There was a time long ago when Gakuto and Taki would have long talks about all kinds of strange things. Anything and everything was fair game to conversationally kick around. Even things no one else was supposed to talk about or mention.
It was before a lotta things. It was back when Gakuto used to feel he could tell Taki just about anything and he knew Taki talked to him about whatever was on his mind. Gakuto'd been real worried and was thinkin that maybe from kinda liking the kendo guy he had recently met, that maybe, just maybe he was gay.
He didn't have Yuushi's perfect memory so Gakuto wasn't sure exactly when this was, like what day, but it was before school started their freshman year and sometime just after they left Atobe's training session over the short summer break. It was before Taki went off his meds and went all weird. It was before Sato. It was before Azukizawa broke Gakuto's heart. It maybe have even been the day before Gakuto ever met Yuushi.
Gakuto and Taki were sitting in the sun kinda watching it set and talking about nothing and everything after a long, hot practice. They had no idea they were in danger even though Atobe told them that the older Hyoutei players would be jealous of them and to be on guard. Atobe said he couldn't protect them so they were trying to be cautious, but still didn't feel any sense of real danger. They were sitting close enough to their freshman dorm to run if they needed to, but it was a nice evening and it felt good to sit there after a long day talking about everything and nothing.
Somehow out of the blue, Taki asked the question Gakuto was too afraid to ask himself.
Gakuto remembers he thought to himself at the time that maybe Taki might be a good person to talk some of this stuff over with. After all, Taki had seriously dated and slept with both that girl and that guy. In fact, Taki was still hung up on both of them and swore he loved them both, but by then both relationships were pretty much over. Plus, Taki knew more about sex and stuff than anyone Gakuto knew or at least anyone Gakuto could talk with. Taki wasn't as slutty as Shishido, but much like Shishido, Taki always had a hot girlfriend. Since Gakuto arrived at Hyoutei and all through grade school as far as dating went, back then Taki had been as popular as Atobe. Actually, he was more popular than Atobe had been.
It was kinda funny how things changed and happened. If Atobe hadn't been picked their grade school tennis captain, everything may have been totally different. It wasn't until he was chosen by their grade school club advisor their last year when Atobe's tennis prowess began to exert itself to its full extent. As a result Atobe went from cocky outsider to popular insider after their school placed so well at nationals.
But before then, the guy everyone wanted to be and hang out with was Taki. The girls adored him and the fact was, Taki was fun to be around. Most of Atobe's sub-regs had known each other then except for Yuushi who came later, but even if they were in different classes, they all played in the club together. Back then Taki the man. Everyone was surprised when he wasn't chosen for captain because Taki was nice, attractive, athletic, easy to get along with and easy to talk to. He had been tall in grade school but now height-wise Taki was only about average. Maybe even shorter, but Gakuto wasn't a good judge of height. Everyone was taller than him.
When everyone else was angry that Atobe, who seemed to be a conceited, boastful jerk, was picked over him, Taki just shrugged and laughed. He said he never did want to have to do all the work a captain would have to do and Taki said he was sure Atobe would be good. Taki smiled sincerely and wished Atobe well while everyone liked Taki a little harder for it. Taki told everyone to calm down and give Atobe a chance.
It was at that moment when Atobe rose to the occasion and in this rousing speech, told all of them that if they followed him, Atobe could promise them that by their senior year of junior high, Hyoutei would reclaim their rightful place and win back the title at nationals. He outlined a plan. One that even though it was radical, did not sound crazy. It sounded like they could really do it and Atobe sounded convinced that with hard effort they would easily win. It lit a fire in their hearts and changed Atobe's place at Hyoutei forever.
Gakuto and Taki were talking about the future sitting in the sun and about the past. How things had changed, and Taki said he didn't mind the way things were shaping up at all. He too felt that with Atobe leading them, if Atobe could just make vice-captain as he had promised he would, then step by step their plans would fall into place. They were both nervous and excited to see where they would fall and if they would become sub-regulars. It was so long ago that they hadn't even achieved that. They were just two small freshmen in the huge Hyoutei tennis club with a secret passionate plan and a dream Atobe had put into the hearts and minds of their little circle of friends.
Earlier in the day, Taki got a love letter. A confession letter that day was slipped into his tennis bag. This was nothing new for Taki, but it was a nice distraction from tennis and their anxieties to try to figure out who it could be from. It was clearly in a girl's handwriting and was sprayed down with perfume that was very feminine. The confession though was unsigned and the two of them had been going through everyone they knew. Speculating who it could be from. Maybe it was even from one of the many girls practicing to be their tennis club cheerleader and who might even become one of their little sisters someday. They were excitedly mulling all of this over, when out of nowhere Taki asked Gakuto if he was gay.
Just like that. Taki asked, "Hey? Are you gay? Do you like guys?"
Gakuto was mortified. If anyone else had asked him, he woulda beat the hell outta them and never talked to them again. He had never really liked or dated a guy before, although he had been attracted. Sure, some guys were hot. Some were as pretty as girls, but it was something you never discussed. Before then Gakuto had never kissed a guy before. Hell, if it wasn't for what had happened to him, he was wondering then if he even would have ever thought about it.
Up until then, Gakuto had been kinda dating this girl. They had two dates before grade school ended, but Gakuto dumped her before the summer so he was free. She didn't even know if she was going to Hyoutei because her family didn't want to send her away to school. No way did Gakuto want to date someone long distance. Well she did end up going to Hyoutei and even was practicing to be a tennis club cheerleader.
She asked Gakuto out that morning but was so annoying all day Gakuto was over her and Taki knew it. It was embarrassing the way she kept calling to him during practice and almost getting him in trouble! Plus, there were tons and tons of new girls all over school he had never met before. It was too new and exciting to get stuck with a girlfriend like that.
Gakuto had plans to dump her that night just before a bunch of the guys were going to hang out in Jiroh's room. Jiroh was rooming with Kashiwa until he was given his single. Kashiwa was cool and after a day where everyone seemed to want to face their group of freshmen and defeat them, Gakuto was looking forward to hanging out with friends. True, they were competitors, but they had all become close friends as well.
It had been a good day for Gakuto other than that girl. He had done well at practice and beat everyone he faced. Even a senior in front of their coach! On top of that he had just finished proudly telling Taki how since they arrived five different people had confessed to him. Two new girls and a guy just that afternoon. Neither of the girls were Gakuto's type, and the guy was only okay--but it was the first time a guy ever confessed to Gakuto. At least like that. The guy was a senior! Sure, guys kinda hit on Gakuto in the past but this was an out and out love declaration. And he had a feeling Taki had heard it, so Gakuto was kinda trying to think of a way to bring it up--at least the idea.
Gakuto really wasn't interested in that guy, but he was worried because when the big kendo club guy stopped some seniors from not letting them in the lunch line, Gakuto felt his heart slamming up against his rib cage in his chest. That guy was damn attractive, but the one who confessed was nothing special. He wasn't someone you would look twice at, but then again, even before all this, Gakuto had bad taste when it came to guys. Hell, he barely gave any thought to Yuushi when he met him except to think what a weird moron he was.
Gakuto felt unspeakably bad about that now.
More so because Yuushi was back to kissing him so good, Gakuto was unable to answer the tensai's promises or lovey declarations with anything other than a soft moan. Yuushi's mouth claimed Gakuto's in kiss after kiss of pure sensual possession. Gakuto opened to the bold thrust of his tongue, too busy kissing him back to think for a moment as Yuushi slid his tongue seductively along Gakuto's swollen, trembling lower lip before raking it gently with his teeth. Gakuto heard himself moan again.
Even though Yuushi was all hot and bothered and busy making Gakuto feel good, it didn't feel to Gakuto like it usually did when a guy was like this. Gakuto didn't worry that if Yuushi got carried away he might not stop and hurt Gakuto even if he didn't mean to at the time. He didn't feel scared at all that Yuushi wouldn't stop if Gakuto told him to, or that the tensai would get too rough in the heat of the moment or take things too far. He didn't think Yuushi was lying to him or was gonna pretend the next day that whatever they did didn't happen or that this didn't mean anything to him. In fact, everything seemed to matter a great deal to Yuushi. Especially Gakuto feeling good and safe and...loved.
He really loved him.
That day as the sun set, when Taki asked and before Gakuto could answer, Taki told Gakuto a lotta stuff about how whole bunches of babies were born kinda being both genders. Taki really knew a lot about things that dealt with medical stuff. He was weird and read medical books and looked on the internet about health things for fun. Taki would probably rather be a doctor than the heir to the largest chain of pharmacy stores in all of the country, but heir Taki was, so medicine became a strange hobby that Taki only talked a lot only to Gakuto. And maybe when they had lived together Taki talked about that kinda stuff to Yuushi, who always seemed fascinated and interested in anything that the tensai didn't already know, but no one else.
Anyway, Taki said there were all these babies born both sexes. Male and female with parts of both. They were kinda in between girls and boys and their parents picked the one gender they wanted their kid to be. That to Gakuto didn't seem very fair and he said so. He wondered out loud why they had to choose and how the parents knew what the baby would wanna be when he or she was grown up.
Taki said he didn't know, but he knew about all this because he had a cousin like that. His aunt and uncle picked for his cousin to be a girl because they already had three boys. He laughed and said that his girl cousin was all into other girls, so Taki thought maybe she should have been a boy.
Though Gakuto never heard anything about any of this before, but he had a suspicion of where Taki was going with his story about all these babies. Gakuto asked Taki if he thought all gay people were like that. Just born the wrong gender. Maybe there was some medical studies done that said it, but Gakuto knew nothing like that happened to him. He had pictures and his mom even kept the ultrasound where they clearly knew he was gonna be a boy long before he was born. There was no way Gakuto was in between a girl or a boy. He asked Taki about it.
To himself secretly Gakuto was afraid that maybe what happened to him made him kinda gay, but just kinda because he really did like girls too. He really did. He had never ever thought about kissing a guy until he saw that hot kendo guy earlier in the day. It scared the hell out of him. In the last couple of years Gakuto dated several girls and there were at least a few girls who usually liked him. He also thought a couple of female pop stars were hot and he thought this one girl who was in a drama his mom liked was amazing. She wasn't a wimpy girl but she wasn't real dominant either. She was just cool, but Gakuto didn't know anyone like her in real life. He had always thought someone like her would be the one in the string bikini by his side in his fantasy.
Not Yuushi.
Gakuto smiled as the tensai kissed him again and then told him to lay down on his belly. They were both naked but for the first time in a while Gakuto felt how naked he was. He felt vulnerable and exposed.
Yuushi said he was gonna be right back and he threw a robe over Gakuto to keep him warm. It was cold in the room without Yuushi touching and holding him. The good thing was with the robe over him it helped him not feel so naked more than warm. He kinda missed Yuushi's warmth.
After a few minutes Gakuto wondered where the hell Yuushi was goin at a time like this? The toilet? The dumb tensai suddenly had to pee right then when things were gettin good? He smiled when he heard Yuushi walk into something with a loud thud. Served the tensai right for leavin and walkin away when he can't see anything. Feeling better that Yuushi was coming back, Gakuto situated himself on the bed with a sigh and waited for what was next.
When Taki answered him, he told Gakuto a lotta things. Some things Gakuto remembered well and some stuff he didn't. Taki remembered names of medical studies and crap like that which Gakuto tuned completely out, but the main important thing of it was Taki said most people, most animals even, aren't totally straight or totally gay but bi. Taki said he figured Gakuto was someone like him. Bi-sexual. It was the first time anyone used the term with Gakuto. It was the first time he had heard anyone call themselves that.
Taki explained that he liked both girls and guys. He seemed happy as he said that really he and Gakuto were exactly alike, but Gakuto knew deep down he and Taki weren't the same at all. Taki held some strange notions.
He liked strong, dominant women and weak men. Gakuto always figured it was probably because Taki's real mom died when he was little, and his dad was always away traveling. Taki's family was old, old, old money on both sides. Somehow Taki's dad ended up working for his father-in-law and getting pushed around a lot because he was too much of a wimp to stand up for himself. Taki was a baby when his mom died and in his mind over time she became kind of a mythical perfect person. When Taki first met Gakuto's mom, Gakuto was sure Taki was going to love her. Taki's lukewarm reaction was shocking. He was the only person other than Yuushi to not be completely awed by Gakuto's mom.
His mom later explained that to Taki, who desperately wanted a mother who was perfect, all Taki could see were flaws. She predicted to Gakuto that Taki would have trouble dating because of that and she was right. The girl and the guy he dated each had really loved Taki terribly, almost crazy, but Taki was only happy with the both of them. One of them was not enough. Gakuto figured it was because Taki was too busy seeing each of their flaws like his mom said.
But then why hadn't Taki seen Sato's flaws? It didn't make sense at all to Gakuto.
Sato was more dominant than the woman and not at all Taki's usual type of wimpy guy. Sure, Gakuto knew Sato could be a charming bastard when he wanted to be, but soon enough Taki had to see what was right in front of his face. Sato was a freaking monster. A total bastard. Your worst nightmare. Had Taki been able to see that?
And if he did see it, what did Taki do? How would Taki who didn't deal with problems well handle a real one?
Gakuto asked out loud by accident, "Did Taki want out?"
"Hmm...? Taki? Did he want out of what? Your friendship with him?" Yuushi was slowly creeping back in the room and musta heard.
"No. Never mind." Gakuto sighed, "It was just somethin stupid I was thinkin about. Just about Taki and Sato. Doesn't matter."
"Oh, in that case, if your earlier question was did Taki want to get away from Sato, the answer is yes. Taki did, but he didn't know how." Yuushi said just past the threshold of the door. He kept moving in the room slow in a shuffling kinda way. The tensai accidentally then almost in slow motion stumble-walked into another low table with a firm strike of his foot on the table leg. It made this bong-crack kinda noise and Yuushi sucked in his breath.
Gakuto winced because that sounded like it hurt like hell. He thought maybe he should distract Yuushi from the pain. Gakuto gave a little laugh, "Poor Taki. Taki is all into Ohtori who is all hung up on Shishido. And after his crush on Atobe, this is just another guy Taki likes who is all into Shishido. You know, Taki might be worse at pickin people to like than even me!"
Yuushi paused and lifted his foot which was probably throbbing in pain. He seemed to think for a moment, paused like that with his hands full and one leg up like a giant crane. Gakuto had to keep from laughing until he heard what Yuushi said, "Perhaps. Taki also chose Sato who is still, and I am judging only by Sato's actions, very much hung up on you. Sato isn't showing up at Taki's door with roses saying he wants him back, Gakuto. Perhaps Taki simply picks people who aren't really available or interested in him."
Gakuto looked at the crane as if it was crazy, "That's really stupid. Why the hell would he do that?"
Gingerly, Yuushi set his foot down and looked over at Gakuto. In his hands Yuushi was carrying a bottle of something and a tiny flickering candle from the bath. He'd been gone a while. Gakuto could tell Yuushi couldn't really see him because the tensai was looking at where Gakuto wasn't, just kinda in his general direction. Yuushi explained, "Because if Taki is always involved with someone who isn't interested in him, in a way, it keeps Taki busy and safe at the same time. It's much the same as someone falling in love with a pop idol they will never meet. It's a fantasy and not real, but to the person who thinks they are in love with the idol they have never met, it feels real to them. It also keeps them from being available for a real relationship with a real person. Fantasies are safer than reality. Fantasies don't break your heart."
Gakuto nodded and then remembered Yuushi couldn't see him. "Yeah, kinda like that Taki wants someone perfect in a fantasy insteada someone real because with someone real Taki can only see their flaws? Kinda like that? And how real people with real problems probably scare the hell outta Taki because real people can hurt you, or let you down, or break up with you, or cheat on you, or leave you..." Gakuto thought about Taki, really thought about him for the first time maybe ever, "Or even like Taki's mom who died when he was little, someone real can die? Oooh Yuushi, I bet that's why Taki thinks he likes Ohtori so much because Ohtori's best friend who died to Taki is kinda like Taki's mom!"
It all made perfect sense to Gakuto suddenly, "And in a really messed up way, Ohtori is perfect for Taki to have a crush on because Ohtori's probably still hung up on his dead best friend and he's all into Shishido and so he's totally not available. Or interested. Even more than Sato or Atobe! Even more than I wasn't interested in him! Taki isn't really mad at me becausa what happened with Sato. I mean, if Taki wanted out then he was done. He used the first chance he could to get away from Sato just like you saw when Ohtori came along. By then Taki hadta know what a bastard Sato really is and all, but he's probably just angry that I made everything real. I wrecked the fantasy he was having of both him with Sato and of him bein with me."
"An excellent theory. I never included Taki losing his mother into the equation, nor did I think of how deep Taki's feelings towards you must run. Perhaps some day, knowing this, you and Taki can begin to be friends again." Yuushi looked impressed which made Gakuto feel really great. He was always happy when he figured out things before Yuushi. And then Yuushi looked dangerous. Like when he wanted to destroy an opponent. It sent shivers of thrill down Gakuto's spine and tingles in the back of his neck. Yuushi said, "But only friends, Gakuto. I do not wish to share you. I want your heart to be mine and mine alone."
"You're jealous? Of Taki?" Gakuto laughed and rolled his eyes. What guy other than Yuushi actually said stupid lovey things like that? "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we already promised Yuushi. Just us. Now get back over here. I'm gettin cold." He wasn't but he didn't want Yuushi mad at him or thinkin he would cheat on him. With stupid Taki no less. Yuushi was so goofy sometimes.
Yuushi took a hesitant step forward as if testing his foot, "Sorry for the delay my prince, the candles were almost all out and I had to get another one to light the little that was left of this..." The tiny candle picked that exact moment to flicker and die. Yuushi uncharacteristically cursed. He sighed, "I did so want this to be perfect..."
The tensai sounded so upset and the candle going out was perfect. Perfect comedic timing. So perfect that Gakuto laughed. "It's all good Yuushi. Stay there. Don't move or you'll walk into somethin again." With a quick move, Gakuto stood up on the bed and flipped off of it to the floor. He landed perfectly and it was a damn shame Yuushi wasn't able to see it. He walked over to the fireplace. It was a gas one like at his family home and Gakuto flipped the switch turning it on, wondering why he hadn't thought of this before.
Wasn't this Yuushi's silly dream?
After all, Gakuto wasn't a stupid girl that Yuushi had to do everything for. He had a few moves of his own that the goofy tensai would really like. Gakuto grinned at him, "There. Now you can see and you can take me to heaven with a hot fire on a cold night. Okay? You didn't break your foot or something before did you? It sounded like it hurt like hell." Yuushi had it up like a crane again but now his jaw was dropped open.
"My...my foot is fine." Yuushi looked at him stunned. He closed his mouth and opened it again. He set the glass where the candle was down on the table he cracked his foot on. Yuushi went to move his glasses which weren't on. They were probably still in the other room. "You...remember that?"
Gakuto shrugged, "Yeah, of course I remember. And look, I'm sorry I laughed back then. I wasn't laughin at you. Really I wasn't. Back then I thought it sounded kinda stupid, like somethin you made up and said to make all your stupid fangirls all go, Oh Yuuuushiiiii...!" Gakuto was really good at making Yuushi laugh at his own stupid fangirls when they squealed. The tensai did not disappoint him and smiled before giving in to a little laughter. Gakuto said more seriously with a shrug, "...but now, I think it sounds kinda nice. You and me and the fire and all. So if it's okay, I wanna. Take me to heaven, Yuushi. How do we start? Should I lay back down on my belly?"
"Oh. Uh...yes. Yes, pl...please." Gakuto loved when he made Yuushi stumble when he was talking. It meant he really really got to him. He smiled into the comforter after he lay back down so Yuushi couldn't see and wouldn't think he was makin fun of him. They could see much better with the fire going. It made the room feel warm and was kinda sexy. Gakuto stole a glance over at Yuushi to see what he was doing.
The firelight was reflecting golden off the tensai's skin. Yuushi sat on the bed. Being all serious he was putting some lotion goo stuff on his hands and rubbing them together. Probably to warm it up before he touched Gakuto. Yuushi was really nice like that. And damn, he really had a nice body. The fire gleamed off his body and accented every curve of every cut muscle. Gakuto wondered why he never noticed how hot Yuushi was before, but figured it was like not noticing your brother or sister or something. Maybe it was you just see the person every day and after a while you kinda take them for granted.
Gakuto was curious, "What's that stuff smell like?"
"Strawberry. Is it all right?" Yuushi held his hand out for Gakuto to sniff. "I tested it and it doesn't seem to sting."
Gakuto shrugged at the okay smell and then grinned again. He teased, "Hey, where'd you test it on, Yuushi?"
Yuushi looked embarrassed and then must have realized Gakuto wasn't making fun of him. Gakuto was just teasing him. Just like any normal couple would do.
Suddenly Yuushi smiled all goofy and at the same time, moved in for a sweet, swirly kiss. The tensai pulled back and teased back in Gakuto's ear all sexy, "You know where, lover. I'm going to begin. If you want me to stop at any time..."
He liked when Yuushi talked all sexy like this. When Yuushi said things in his ear this way it made him get all tingly. Gakuto smiled and said, "Mmnnn. Nope, you said you were gonna take me to heaven, Yuushi. You said you were gonna make l... well you know, you said you were gonna do it with me without using that part of you. You said you were gonna make me say that word. If you can. And you owe me a thank you..." Gakuto smiled and turned his face down into the bed again. Otherwise Yuushi might just kiss him all night. Not that Gakuto didn't want him to, but there were other things they could do if they could just shut up long enough to get to them.
Yuushi slid his hands over Gakuto's skin. He drawled, "And I intend to pay you back in full. And I will make you say yes. And I will make love to you. And I will take you to heaven." Yuushi sounded like he was smiling and Gakuto felt the tensai's weight shift on the bed as he moved on it. Gakuto's hands were by his sides and his legs were spread apart. Yuushi's hands, warm and slick with lotion slid down Gakuto's legs to his feet. Yuushi hummed and practically purred in this low sexy way he had when he was all into it, "It's not even my birthday and I get my fantasy? Believe me lover, I will pay you back in full with a night neither of us will ever forget..." He sounded like the good and turned on Yuushi.
He sounded fierce, and lusty, and so damn strong...
Gakuto worried for a moment that Yuushi might really hurt him. Because it wasn't a fantasy, it was real. And real people could really hurt you. Gakuto had that fear again that Yuushi was gonna hurt him for every mean and terrible time he laughed at the tensai or called him an idiot, and Gakuto deserved it all. Or maybe Yuushi would just be really turned on and wouldn't stop. Yuushi wouldn't mean to hurt him, and he would be really sorry and sweet after, but after all this time with no sex or coming, any guy might not wanna stop.
He looked back down at Yuushi who was picking up one of Gakuto's feet. When he saw Gakuto watching, the tensai let go of his foot and moved back up in a slow, sexy, naked crawl over his bare skin that made Gakuto's heart race with that strange crazy mix of fear and lust. Yuushi reached his face and kissed him all swirly and put his arms around. He pulled Gakuto close to him and just kissed him.
Gakuto still felt that keen edge of fear, razor sharp and dangerous and thrilling, but for the moment, Gakuto also felt safe and warm. All that at the same time was an odd mixture that lead to a feeling Gakuto was not familiar with. A strange feeling. Not bad, but strange. Strange and very scary. Gakuto exhaled a shaky breath that he didn't know he was holding in.
Yuushi softly said, "I love you. I swear no one will ever hurt you again, and that includes me, Gakuto. If you ever feel afraid, or want me to stop, even just for a moment, tell me. Please? I'll do the same with you. Gakuto? We don't have to do anything more. It's late and we can just go to sleep together."
Gakuto didn't know what to say. Now that he felt reassured, he certainly didn't want the tensai to stop. Plus he didn't want Yuushi to have to worry that he was gonna have to stop like this every time. He wanted Yuushi to like it. He wanted Yuushi to like him and love it so the tensai would want more and more and more and be happy with him. "But...you promised. And it's your dream...?"
Yuushi sounded like he was smiling, but his mouth was near Gakuto's ear kissing it all swirly so he couldn't see Yuushi's face. The tensai sighed as if happy, "This is my dream, Gakuto. This is all I want in the world. You and me together, close like this, and holding each other all night. I couldn't ask for anything more than a lifetime of this. Gakuto, for me, this is heaven." Yuushi pulled back to look at him seriously and all lovey in the firelight, "I love you."
"Mmme..." Alarmed, Gakuto realized what the hell he almost said. It almost like...slipped out. Damn it! Yuushi was too damn good at getting to him.
Gakuto quickly corrected, "No. Uh...I..." He was the one stammering now, but then that strange feeling crept back over him. It was more than reassurance, it felt like comfort and safe and home. Gakuto didn't want that to end and he wanted Yuushi to feel that too, "I'm not afraid. I don't wanna stop. Make l... I mean...don't stop. Do it to me Yuushi. I don't care what parts you use or don't use or if it stings or worse or doesn't. I trust you. And...I wanna. If you wanna. You know, if you wanna do what you were gonna with me. I'm okay now, and I'll tell you if I want you to stop. I don't wanna stop. It's okay. If it's with you, it's okay." Maybe it was the firelight or maybe from earlier when he gave Yuushi a bloody nose, but Gakuto now noticed dark shadows under Yuushi's eyes. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he wanted to wait. "Unless you wanna wait. Or if you're tired. We can always sleep like this and then fool around before we go in the morning..."
Yuushi was smiling and looking at Gakuto in that way he did when he found something interesting about him. Usually it was something annoying and stupid that Gakuto didn't know he did. Like when he shook his leg when he was thinking or felt nervous. Yuushi always acted as if each dumb habit and little flaw Gakuto had was a minor miracle or something.
The tensai practically purred again in that accented voice of his, "I'm not tired, lover." Damn, he knew how to even sound sexy. It was that really hot Yuushi who said it too. The really good one. The one that made Gakuto feel just a little anxious and dangerous and thrilled.
And then it wasn't. It was just goofy Yuushi. His smile suddenly increased.
Gakuto laughed. He couldn't help himself, "Okay, what joke were you thinkin? Would I get it?"
Yuushi grinned as if pleased Gakuto asked. "Of course you would. I was just going to act like the team bus driver and say that the next stop was heaven. I resisted for you just in time, however."
The sub-reg's bus driver was so annoying. He was a big old goofy guy that didn't get at all how important the tennis club was. He treated them as if they were small children, but in a grandfatherly way that made you not able to completely hate him. The old man announced destinations as if he was conducting a train with multiple stops instead of taking all the regs and sub-regs together to one place with one common destination. The joke was when the team didn't win every match at any tournament and practice next day was going to be harder than normal, 'Next stop...hell!'
It was kinda funny, but Gakuto didn't wanna encourage Yuushi too much, "Thank the gods for that. You're gettin better, Yuushi." Oh. Gakuto didn't really mean it as cruel as it sounded or as bad as the tensai might take it. Gakuto smiled and said honestly, "Yuushi, you make me laugh a lot. You always do. Even when you're being silly or know I'm gonna tell you to shut up, you still make me laugh. Thanks."
Yuushi looked surprised and then slowly smiled. It was that shy little boy Gakuto first saw on that first day. In fact, Yuushi's hair was messy enough to really remind Gakuto of that kid. Looking goofy and shy Yuushi said, "No Gakuto, thank you." As if Gakuto was the one who had done something good.
Yuushi sometimes still could be so weird. He kissed Gakuto hesitatingly, as if worried Gakuto would for some reason tell him to stop and then Yuushi mumbled something about how he was going to start.
He started by massaging Gakuto's feet. Which Gakuto loved. No one ever did this for Gakuto before. Gakuto kinda had a foot thing where he didn't like to touch other people's feet. Feet were gross. Especially guy's feet. Nasty. Gakuto wouldn't ever touch another guy's feet. When he had dated a guy and slept next to him, Gakuto didn't even like it if the guy touched him with his feet then. Gakuto would shudder if the guy's feet touched his legs or his own feet and then put on his socks to sleep. He wouldn't ever even borrow socks. Feet were that disgusting.
Especially men's feet. Gakuto had no idea how any guy who had ever been inside a men's locker room could not agree with him. The only guy's feet Gakuto would ever allow to touch him was maybe Atobe, who had someone come and give him pedicures at least once a week. Stupid Atobe had perfect feet like you would see in a magazine ad for shoes or lotion or something. It would be okay if Atobe's feet touched him, and... well... Yuushi's were okay.
No really.
Yuushi had nice feet. Gakuto noticed this because he touched them when he washed them earlier. The tensai had nice, clean, perfectly groomed hands and feet. Yuushi's feet weren't gross at all. In fact, the tensai was one of the few guys who wore sandals going in and out of the showers even if people made fun of him. Gakuto could never remember Yuushi having athlete's foot or anything, even when everyone else seemed to get it last year. Even Atobe. Damn, to be totally honest, he couldn't even remember Yuushi's feet stinking. Not once. Not even on the hottest summer days when they all had to run in practice so much you could wring out your socks and get buckets of water after.
Usually Yuushi sat on the bus next to Gakuto. He did it now all the time but it started during last year's summer practice at Atobe's when they were driven from "the villa" to the courts where they practiced. Without a word before Gakuto could sit down on the first day back from the courts to the villa Yuushi pushed his way to the inside and quickly sat down. He did this when he knew Gakuto liked sitting next to the window. Gakuto was annoyed and then furious when Yuushi suddenly started changing his shoes in front of him! Gakuto almost got up and changed seats. He only stayed where he was because he was too damn exhausted after practice to move.
Out of reflex Gakuto almost gagged and hurled expecting to smell that horrible noxious foot odor Gakuto now associated with Kabaji's tennis shoes. But when Yuushi took off his shoe, Gakuto smelled nothing. Yuushi stopped and in a whisper Gakuto could barely hear apologized for changing his shoes in front of Gakuto. The tensai was blushing all red as if he felt bad about it for some reason when he didn't need to because it didn't smell bad or anything. Then he quietly said he was really very sorry for taking the inside seat, but he was afraid people might see.
Gakuto was suddenly curious. Whatever reasons Yuushi had, they had to be good. Gakuto saw then Yuushi split the bottom of his shoe and must have played half of practice with his shoe falling apart. The tensai never said anything so Gakuto guessed no one knew. Well, probably Atobe noticed, but no one else had. Gakuto was intrigued and then he figured it out.
It wasn't split--it was slashed. Like with a knife.

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Learning to Land