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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter Ninety Seven ~Shishido~
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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He wasn't even aware he fell asleep until he felt someone moving. Roughly jerking around when he was trying to sleep. What the hell? Shishido woke up and wondered where he was. He felt surprised he had been asleep and immediately was annoyed that he was woken up because sleep came so rare. Then Shishido realized what woke him and even more importantly who woke him--Choutarou.
The night came back in a rush full of details and sweet moments flooding over him all at once but Shishido was too concerned to be happy. Choutarou moved again and made small sounds as if he was fighting some kind of battle in his sleep. He must have been having a bad dream or something. It was still too cloudy and dark outside for Shishido to really see much of anything. His head felt fuzzy with sleep and he heard rain falling hard outside. He wished he could see Choutarou to know for sure what was going on. Shishido wasn't sure if he should wake him, because Shishido hated when anyone woke him up, but he thought maybe he should. Choutarou twitched around and whimpered again, and it sounded to Shishido when his dog at home had puppy dreams. He wished he could see Choutarou to know for sure what was going on.
Suddenly there was a burst of lightening bright enough to light up the whole room.
In that instant, Shishido could see tears streaking Choutarou's face. He wasn't fighting in a dream, he was thrashing around and crying--quietly sobbing in his sleep. Thunder rumbled sounding angry off in the distance and Shishido moved to wake him. Shishido gently shook Choutarou awake while at the same time wiped and kissed tears away with his fingertips and lips. "Choutarou? Hey, Chou? Wake up, baby. Wake up. It's just a dream..."
At first he was worried Choutarou wouldn't wake and then he did with a gasp and a yelled, "No...!"
It startled Shishido to full awareness and he moved to calm Choutarou by holding him close, "Hey, hey, it's all right. It's okay, baby. Shhshhshh...it was just a dream...only a dream...you're okay...it's alright...you're here with me, baby...it's okay, Choutarou...it's okay now..."
Choutarou made this little sob sound and took a few deep, hot, shuddery breaths. He sounded heartbroken and it hurt Shishido to hear him that upset. There was another flash of lightening and in that second Shishido saw Choutarou look around confused as if he didn't know where he was. Then he must have realized or been able to see and hugged Shishido hard. Shishido kissed his neck and his cheek and then his mouth when Choutarou pulled back.
"Hey, you okay baby?" Shishido asked concerned.
Choutarou didn't answer. Another flash of lightening lit up the room. Shishido saw Choutarou flinch, but he was nodding. And crying still. Shishido could see fresh tears flowing down his face. Choutarou probably didn't speak because he was too upset. The room was again plunged into darkness as a crack of thunder answered the lightening. The violent storm sounded like it was quickly moving closer. In his arms Shishido felt the freshman shudder at the sound but it was almost as if he was throwing off a terrible thought or feeling at the same time.
Before Shishido could say another word, Choutarou kissed him suddenly hard and passionately. Choutarou just reached out and knew right where Shishido's lips were. The room was nearly pitch black. The kiss came out of nowhere and surprised Shishido who really couldn't see. Choutarou was on his mouth kissing him in a way that felt needy, but Shishido thought it was still kind of nice. Choutarou's arms went around Shishido and pulled him closer, and he kissed Shishido so hard and deep, Shishido heard himself give a growl of desire. It was sexy when Choutarou was passionate like this even if he was half-awake. Choutarou's hand bunched in Shishido's hair as they kissed, and this time when the freshman shivered, it was for a different reason.
Kissing him back, Shishido reached for his tongue. Warm and wet, Shishido swept through his mouth and he felt everything inside himself--all of his emotions and senses suddenly come awake. Any thoughts that he should ask Choutarou what his dream was about skittered out of his head. Shishido's body felt on fire. Hot and cold burning at the same time. Shishido moaned in Choutarou's arms as the sensations moved through him.
Choutarou was completely taking the lead and the kiss felt serious from the start. Shishido could feel Choutarou's raw lust and want and yet because it was Choutarou kissing him, it still seemed sweet and pure at the same time. It was a heady mix of honest lust, almost desperate need, and at the same time guileless pure emotion. Shishido wasn't sure if Choutarou was completely awake or not which made it all even more sexy and adorable at the same time. The kiss felt wanton but also like Choutarou was searching for some sort of comfort or security as he slid his tongue insistently again into Shishido's mouth. Jealous for a moment, Shishido wondered if Choutarou even knew who he was kissing.
Maybe in the middle of the night, half asleep, Choutarou might have made a mistake. Maybe he thought in the flash of light Shishido was his dead best friend.
The sudden dark thought hit Shishido so hard that it physically hurt and he froze for an instant.
But only for an instant, because in between kissing him deep and hard Choutarou whispered so sweetly in a purr of lust, "Shishido-senpai..."
Choutarou kissed Shishido nearly senseless again and Shishido realized he needed to stop breaking his own heart. Clearly, Choutarou knew who he was with and wanted him. Wanted him quite a lot by how he was acting. Shishido told himself to stop thinking stupid, unworthy things. Choutarou knew him, liked him, and wanted him. If Shishido was ever going to be remotely good enough for him, he needed to stop with the past and concentrate on the here and now.
It occurred to Shishido that Choutarou may have wanted his body like a lot of other people at school did, but unlike everyone else, Choutarou probably wanted his heart more than anything. He wanted Shishido for who he was--faults and all. It felt like Choutarou believed in him. Maybe Choutarou could even love him.
It was way too soon to say, but Shishido knew right then without any doubt that he loved Choutarou. Even more, Shishido was in love with him. He had never felt anything this intense before. Not with anyone or for anyone before. Not even with Atobe. That seemed so childish to how he felt now.
How much he felt surprised him, but then again it didn't. Shishido knew what he had been feeling for a long time was way more than like or want or anything else he had ever thought he felt for anyone else before, but he was avoiding thinking about it because it was scary. It was frightening and wonderful both at once, but the best thing of all was that there was a good chance Choutarou could love him back. Shishido knew right then that he would do anything to make and keep Choutarou happy. To make Choutarou feel loved because he completely was.
Shishido had a feeling that in return, if Choutarou really could love him, the freshman was the kind of guy who would give Shishido back probably far more than he ever took. That was just how he was. Shishido felt lucky for a lot of things. He was lucky Choutarou found him. Lucky they went to school together and lived together. Lucky that Atobe had moved them so close together and then given them time to get to know each other.
He wondered for a moment at the way fate worked. One wrong step, or a few changes in the events in either of their lives, and they might have missed each other completely--but that didn't happen. Instead, miraculously, Choutarou was here, with him, kissing him, and had some kind of feelings for him. Shishido felt so lucky for this one time when fate and fortune came together and smiled on him. On both of them.
He felt almost overwhelmed by his feelings for this shy, beautiful boy. Shishido vowed silently to not screw up this one chance for happiness. For love. He thought to himself that even though he felt this way, it was too early to say the words to Choutarou out loud. Shishido didn't want Choutarou to feel worried or afraid, and so Shishido tried to express how much he felt by kissing Choutarou back.
Choutarou said that your body didn't lie. Shishido tried to talk to him that way now.
He took control of the kiss and hooked his leg over Choutarou's to climb on top of him. As he did, Shishido slid his hands along the bare skin of Choutarou's back, reveling in the warm, solid, distinctly masculine feel of him. The freshman instantly yielded and then softly made one of those little moaning-noises as Shishido grazed his teeth along Choutarou's tongue. Damn, he was so sexy. Shishido could feel Choutarou's erection through their clothes pressed hard up against his own. Ohtori moaned again and arched his back to get them to touch more. Shishido smiled and ran his fingers through the soft downy hairs on Choutarou's back. His touch made Choutarou shiver and give another soft moan.
Choutarou pulled back suddenly and there was another flash of lightening brightness. Shishido noticed he looked more awake, although his face was wet with what must have been fresh tears. He may even have been crying silently as he passionately kissed Shishido. He was so sweet--and if not all Shishido's already, then Shishido was determined to make Choutarou his one day.
Shishido parted Choutarou's lips insistently with his tongue and explored his mouth. He loved how strong Choutarou was and how he really didn't need to hold back. Shishido wanted things with them to always be like this. Even without words and the things he had to tell Choutarou, he felt secure. Things between them felt open and comfortable and comforting. In fact Shishido had to tell him, "You can wake me up anytime as long as you kiss me like this, baby..." Part of his words came out in a growl of lust, but even he could hear the emotions he felt coming out in his voice. Shishido softly kissed him. Again trying to show Choutarou the rest of what he was feeling but wasn't ready to say because he didn't think Choutarou was ready to hear it yet.
When the kiss broke, in a soft voice Choutarou gasped, "Oh god...I..I woke you. I'm so sorry, Shishido-san..."
Shishido half smiled at how adorable he was, "Sorry for what? I don't sleep, remember? You had me worried though. You were crying in your sleep. Bad dream? What was it about?" Shishido hoped for once he could get some answers, but at the same time he decided to stop pushing. Choutarou would tell him the rest in his own way whenever he was ready--and Shishido could tell Choutarou what he was afraid to say when it was the right time too. He felt for the first time in a long time--optimistic. They had all the time in the world. He kissed Choutarou softly, "You can tell me or you can kiss me, baby. Or better yet, start by kissing me again..."
Shishido drew Choutarou into another kiss and after a moment of resisting, Choutarou yielded to his kiss and his embrace. He heard Choutarou give a small sigh as if contented. He pulled the freshman closer to him and touched his face to wipe away any last tears. The rain outside sounded like it was falling harder. Shishido glanced over at his clock and noticed nearly two hours had passed. For Shishido it was a record both for sleeping next to someone and for falling asleep so easily so many nights in a row. It was part of the magic of Ohtori he figured.
Choutarou pulled back and said in this distracted, breathless, turned on way, "My dream? Oh, it was just...Oh my god...!" Choutarou moved his hands down so fast Shishido felt a breeze after. Shishido must have dodged Choutarou's hands by instinct and probably just avoided getting hit. For a second, Shishido thought he had accidentally kneed Ohtori or grazed his testicles or something because he felt the freshman's hands go right there. Then Shishido knew what it was. Choutarou woke up and finally felt the same painful ache Shishido was feeling. For the first time Shishido could recall, he heard Choutarou whisper a curse. Not a serious one but still more than Choutarou ever used. He must have really been hurting.
Shishido tried not to laugh but failed because he was throbbing and in pain too. He chuckled slightly, "Yeah, really hurts like hell, doesn't it?" Then he realized Choutarou probably had no idea why it hurt and was most likely mortified and confused. "It's totally normal, baby. Nothing's wrong and it won't kill you. It just hurts from being really turned on for hours and not coming. You've never had this before?"
In the dim light of his alarm clock he could just barely see Choutarou shake his head no but he wasn't looking at Shishido. Maybe he was too embarrassed to look at him directly. Or maybe Choutarou's eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet. "N...no. Never."
Shishido sighed. He sounded unsure although he knew without question that Choutarou believed him. "Yeah. It's normal. I know about it because it happened to me my freshman year, I went out with this girl a few times..."
Glumly Choutarou suggested, "...Yamagi Jori?"
"No. It wasn't her, it was Fugi Saiiki. And don't interrupt your senpai when he's talking." Shishido half-smiled and kissed him softly to take the sting out of his reprimand. There was another bright burst of lightening and a sudden loud crack of thunder. Choutarou jumped slightly. Shishido was still very concerned. He saw in the flash Choutarou's face was puffy from crying and he had been so stressed out lately. Shishido didn't know how to fix it. Maybe just more talking. That seemed to calm him. "I'm just kidding. You can ask me whatever you want."
"S...sorry Shishido-san. She's the...the tease one? I mean...well...I'm sorry...it's just...everyone says she's a tease..."
"Well yeah, she is. She gets you all hot and bothered and then says goodnight. I was really into her for about a week or two. We stayed up nights talking on the phone and once we even fell asleep together on the phone. Well, she slept, but I listened to her all night. She said she wanted to, you know have sex and stuff, but she wanted us to wait a little. I was so into her I thought I would wait for her, so I wouldn't even...you know...touch myself and take care of it? Well, actually, she asked me to wait for her. She said she liked me so much that she asked me to not do anything without her. She asked it in a way that kind of hinted that we--she and I, would take things to the next level if I just was a little patient. I tried to be. Hell, I really tried to be. I swear I did. But she was such a damn tease! It's like some kind of game to her."
Choutarou laughed lightly but it didn't sound happy, "What did she do?"
Shishido wondered if he was jealous and tried to pick his words carefully, "All kinds of things. She would go out of her way to pass by me and grind against me in the hallway between classes. When she said goodnight she'd rub her hand on me through my clothes--sometimes in front of other people, and I don't know...she just did...all kinds of stuff like that. Teasing stuff. It was hell. By the end of the second week, I was dying. It hurt when I went to sleep and it hurt when I woke up. I looked it up to make sure I wasn't sick or something and that's when I found out what it was and the only way to fix it. I swear she never even really liked me or knew me, she just likes to make guys crazy. I finally gave in and touched myself because I realized I was walking around hard and hurting all the time. I was like a walking hormone or something and the whole thing was stupid. It was the only thing that helped. Right after I was done I felt better. It was like I could think again."
Shishido shrugged, "Maybe she noticed because the next day she even asked if I had "done anything". I lied and told her no. I don't know why but I did, maybe because it was embarrassing to admit what I did and didn't want to say it to a girl, you know? It was weird, but as soon as I was able to think straight again and not crazy with lust for her, she kinda bothered me. She has a gap in the front of her teeth and she sucks her upper lip through it. It makes these disgusting wet-sounding noises. It's annoying. And she covers her mouth when she laughs which I hate. She never really laughs hard. And she talks really bad about her close friends behind their back. She's a big gossip. I don't know. As soon as I stopped wanting her so much, she suddenly wanted to have sex, but by then I wasn't really interested in her anymore." Shishido shrugged.
Because the one he had been interested in after was Atobe. Actually, he wasn't interested in him after the first night but it was like Shishido's eyes were suddenly opened. Maybe to the possibilities of guys or something because he had been hit on before by them, but never really considered it. After that first time, he couldn't say he'd never been with a guy anymore. It sort of changed everything, but after how it happened and the pain Shishido really thought he never wanted to be with a guy again. It had been painful and intense and embarrassing, but as time passed he grew more and more curious. Shishido thought if they did it one more time that maybe he could get his curiosity and the questions he had out of his system.
Shishido had done a lot of stuff with girls. He had even done girls that way sexually but it had never felt anywhere near that...intense as it had with been that first time with Atobe. He knew he had been drugged and all, but he had wondered if it was the drug or something else. Shishido wondered was if it was always like that between two guys or if it had just been the situation. Turns out it was always like that with two guys--not the situation at all, and Shishido's long slide into a bad place began. And yet, he thought to himself that something good came out of it. If he had never been with Atobe, he probably wouldn't have considered the possibility of being with Choutarou. So things turned out good after all. Life was weird that way.
Choutarou asked out of the blue, "She...she says you cheated on her...and that she broke up with you, but no one believes her. Well, everyone thinks you cheated on her, but not that she broke up with you part. You dated that girl from high school and she says that's who you cheated on her with."
Shishido half-joked, "What? Do you know every rumor about me? I did date that high school first year, but for all of one date. And I already broke up with Fugi long before I took that girl out. I didn't even know she was in high school. She looks really young." It had been a bad time for Shishido. He was confused and hurt over his brother leaving and even more confused with how he felt after his first time with Atobe. The pain faded but the memory and confusion lingered. He had no one to talk any of this over with. Shishido at the time was looking for some comfort and wishing he had just one person in the world who cared about him. One person he was close to. One person to share everything with.
It was a wish he'd always had it seems like. Even when he was little he used to wish for that. On birthdays and on shooting stars it was always his wish even though he never told anyone. He was always scared like they said that if he told, it might not come true. Sometimes he secretly did wish his twin was alive and when he was very young he used to play with his twin as an imaginary friend. There usually wasn't anyone else. When his mother caught him once, she went into a terrible rage and took him to see a doctor family friend. The doctor said it was very normal, but in the car on the way home she told her son if she ever caught him doing it again she would never forgive him. Shishido had not said Ryuichi's name to another living soul since, although secretly he whispered it to honor his twin on their birthday and on the festival of the dead.
After that terrible night with Atobe, Shishido went through a lot of girls. He discovered one after the next that they were really mainly into how he looked--not him for who he was. And after that he ended up with Atobe anyway.
Shishido shrugged, "I didn't like her much so I never went out with her again. Fugi was just mad because I dumped her so she lied. Hell, she told people we had sex and we never did anything but kiss. I know there's a lot of rumors about me, baby, but really, a lot of them aren't true at all. If you ever want to know just ask me. And like I told you before, I don't cheat. I don't want to be with someone who cheats. I hate it. Cheating is the worst thing someone can do and so lame."
"It is, Shishido-san. I'll never cheat on you...I mean, well...you know...because you said..." Choutarou was probably blushing furiously and adorably but it was too damn dark for Shishido to see.
So he kissed Choutarou softly. "Yeah. I asked if you wanted to date me. And you said yes." Shishido smiled thinking of it, "So that makes you my boyfriend, you know? So my boyfriend promises to never cheat on me?" Shishido smiled and kissed him. He ran his hands along Choutarou's body because he could and reveled in the feel of soft skin over hard muscle. It was a sexy study in contrasts. Shishido said before Choutarou could answer, "I will never cheat on you Choutarou, I swear it." He sealed it with his oath and then a kiss. Before Choutarou could react or say he was sorry, Shishido continued, "Anyway the reason I told you all that is to tell you when I felt pain like this before."
He considered it and half smiled. With a small laugh he said, "But then again, it was nothing like this..." Shishido kissed him and Choutarou kissed him back forcefully. He must have been feeling jealous. Honestly, Shishido said, "I've never felt anything like how I feel with you. Not with anyone, baby. It's nice. I really like it." Shishido smiled, he felt stupid for talking about his dumb feelings, but he thought if it helped Choutarou feel happy and not be upset anymore, then it was worth it. He kissed his little brother again and smiled, "I really like you, Choutarou..." Shishido said in between hot, deep kisses, and his words came out in a growl filled with lust and emotion.
Shishido sighed as the kiss broke and suggested, "So...I don't want you to be in pain or to feel embarrassed. It's perfectly normal and okay. I'll go in the other room for about ten minutes to let you take care of it, and then I'll come back. When I do, you can tell me about your dream if you want or we can just go back to sleep. Okay, baby?" He didn't want Choutarou in any more pain if possible.
"No...I...I mean...pl...please? Please stay with me?" Choutarou seemed to be almost begging him. He looked at Shishido in the low light with big sad eyes, like a puppy at pet store that you've pet and played with before abandoning to go to your warm safe home.
"I'd like to, baby. Believe me, I'd really like to." It came out a little huskier than Shishido had intended. "I'll probably have to go to the bathroom to do the same thing. In fact, I think I will because wanting you is killing me. Thinking about you in my bed touching yourself will drive me crazy otherwise. There's no way I could stay here and watch you though. It would be way too hot. I'd have to touch myself or I'd go insane."
"So...it...it hurts you too?" Choutarou asked with that puppy dog look.
Shishido nodded. He was hard again to the point of throbbing just talking about all this. He half-smiled because this was a little embarrassing to admit and because Choutarou seemed to be waiting to hear his answer. But he wondered why, "Of course?"
Ohtori said it in a rush, "Then do it with me Shishido-san. Please?" Choutarou kissed him passionately and ran his hands over Shishido's body. This was a very different kiss than before. When Shishido had days ago wondered what Choutarou would be like completely uninhibited, this was damn close. "Please? Touch me Shishido-san and let me touch you. Please let me make you feel good. You...you can touch me if you want to touch me? But...but let me touch you? Please?" Choutarou moved so they were side by side and kissed Shishido hard and wet again.
He really did not need kissing lessons, Shishido thought. He moaned as Choutarou kissed him like that again and rubbed their erections together through their clothes. Shishido's erection came partially free of his sleep pants and his tip was sticking out. Choutarou felt it and his bare hand on Shishido's hot, swollen, wet head made him growl again. Shishido was going to agree because he was so lost in the moment, but then Choutarou moved his hand up. It was shiny and wet from Shishido's erection. Choutarou brought it up to his mouth as if to taste...
Shishido grabbed his wrist to stop him. "No! Wait. Stop. You can't. We can't. I want to. Baby, I really want to, but I've been with other people and I haven't been tested and I can't take a chance that you could get hurt or sick. I won't take that chance or let anything hurt you, especially me. I want to, but we can't. Do you understand?"
Choutarou looked at him soberly in the faint light. Shishido expected him to apologize or something but he didn't. Instead he looked serious. All traces of sleep and tears were gone, "Shishido-senpai, when is the last time you touched someone? When was the last time you did sex with someone?"
Shishido let go of Ohtori's hand. He ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture and tucked a little behind one ear. Damn it, Shishido wanted to take this slow! Then it wouldn't feel awkward like this. He was totally embarrassed and did not feel like explaining this to anyone. But maybe Choutarou needed to know this. Maybe then he would understand. Shishido sighed and faced the inevitable, "Right after school started. Atobe's little sister when he shared her. I'm sure you've heard about it...?" It was months ago and to Shishido's horror now common knowledge Atobe had given her to Shishido first. He didn't think Atobe or Naomi would tell but he had been naive about how fast gossip spreads--especially when it's true and about Atobe.
Choutarou nodded. "You did safe sex?"
"Yeah...of course. Everyone at a sharing does." How embarrassing. Shishido nodded and smiled at the terms Choutarou used. In some things the freshman was so innocent and trusting. Shishido would rather feel this ache all night--hell, all year. Let it cripple him. Better that than risk Choutarou.
Who wasn't done asking questions, "And the last time before then? When were you with anyone?"
Shishido felt the heat of a blush rising to his face. It was a good thing it was dark in the room. Because hell, no one knew this. This was definitely one thing Atobe didn't even have the balls to admit to anyone either, "You...probably...know. Before winter break. With Atobe. Last year. And then just his little sister since the beginning of this one. I've dated other girls since, but I didn't do anything but kiss them. Even when the girls wanted to and even though people say I have, I haven't. I swear I haven't. Look, I don't know why people like to talk about me and lie about it but they do."
Choutarou dropped his jaw in surprise. Probably at how many months it had been. Or maybe because of all the rumors. They had Shishido having wild sex with a different girl or groups of them every night. Shishido knew everyone said stuff like this about him and Choutarou probably heard it. He had to have. Some were more colorful than others, some were more vicious than others but the fact was, none of the rumors were true.
"And yeah, before you ask, Atobe and I fooled around since the last time we had sex, but that was the last time we really did it. I told you, I wasn't happy. And yes, we used condoms. Always." Atobe hadn't wanted to but Shishido always insisted. Partially because it frustrated Atobe but mostly because it was the only lubrication they ever used. No way was he going to say that to anyone. Not even Choutarou. Unless he asked, but Ohtori probably had no idea to ask. He wouldn't know specifics of things like sex. Shishido felt very protective of him because his innocence was charming and beautiful. "I'm not angry if you ask me questions. I want you to know me and even though I'm not proud of the stuff I've done, I'll always be honest with you, okay?"
Ohtori hugged him hard and nodded. Apparently contented though probably still throbbing and aching. Shishido was.
Atobe wanted to have sex other times after their last but Shishido had refused. He stupidly wanted more than Atobe could give him and thought if he held out, Atobe would feel something. Or reach for him instead of other people. But that hadn't happened. Atobe was busy often with a full school, tennis, and social schedule. The times when they were together and Shishido slept over, it was easy for him to please Atobe in other ways and wait--and hope his heart had opened up. It never had.
Shishido said when he realized he was taking small breaths, "Baby...I can't breathe...thanks." He took a deep breath and then another. "Is there anything else you'd like to ask me? I'll tell you whatever you want to know." He hoped there wasn't anything else, but his pulse raced worried at the thought.
"Really? You don't mind?" Choutarou looked happy at the thought.
Shishido dreaded it but was resigned, "Yeah. Ask away."
Choutarou smiled a little and said gently, "Well...it's just...Shishido-senpai, you know they test us for everything every month, right? During the physicals? They test us for everything. Even sex stuff. If they haven't said anything, then you're okay. You're fine. You're healthy. There's nothing wrong with you."
Shishido hadn't known.
He felt totally stupid.
Well, okay. Sure, he knew about the testing. He hated it. Giving blood monthly and the intense physical exams, but he figured it was for tennis. And yeah, you could get the results of your tests if you wanted them but it cost money to get a private copy for yourself. Money Shishido never had so he never asked for his. It was a waste. There was no need to waste the money when they called you down if your blood levels were off or something. Which was why he had figured it was just a part of training. One time Shishido was fighting a winter flu that was going around and something came up a little off in whatever the normal levels were in his blood work. They called him down and made him go on antibiotics and vitamins before he ever felt sick.
He didn't think Choutarou was lying though. Everyone being tested regularly made sense as their coach was something of a germ-phobic guy and was rumored to prefer men. Not that they ever saw any of this. Their coach was a very discreet man. Highly respected. Brilliant though he had his faults. Coach never touched any of his tennis players because of germs it was rumored. Instead he preferred to point two fingers at people who did well instead of shaking hands or patting them on the back. The rare times he did touch someone he touched their clothes and was often seen washing and wiping his hands down immediately afterwards.
Everyone just accepted his quirks as normal because he was so brilliant. Even Atobe said the guy was a tensai in both tennis and music and he was wealthy. He worked because he loved what he did. Shishido really respected him despite all his little eccentricities. Everyone did.
Their coach was very different from the old man who first taught Shishido tennis, but he was very good. Shishido played a completely different style of tennis since arriving at Hyoutei. It was more formal and polished than his original rough style. The rough style had worked for him though, and as a tribute to his poor, "rough" roots, Shishido still used the racket his first tennis coach made for him. It was a shorter than average wooden racket with a hexagonal string pattern. It cost an insane amount to have restrung, but Shishido knew it like he knew the back of his own hand. He was intimately acquainted with every dent and nick on it. It was that familiar and comfortable. Even if he wasn't able to rely on anyone else and there was no one else who cared for him, Shishido always had that. He loved his racket's history as a part of his own. He hoped someday if he ever had a son to pass it down to him.
The handmade racket drove Atobe crazy. For one thing, it was not a name brand and for another, he couldn't have one. You had to be given one of the very special rackets. They were not for sale. Atobe apparently had tried to buy one for either himself or Shishido--he was never sure which. What he did know, was Atobe couldn't and it bugged the hell out of him that no matter how much money he offered, it was not for sale.
Shishido's spare racket was another matter. He hated it. He bought it used for next to nothing and carried it in his bag only because a spare was required. It was a cheap one he picked up at a second-hand store. It badly needed to be restrung but he didn't have any extra money. Shishido needed to buy some groceries in the week coming up, and now with taking Choutarou out on a date, he needed to be more cautious.
Not that it wouldn't be worth it or he couldn't make due, but until he was sure his mom put some money on his Hyoutei card, Shishido planned to stick to a stricter than usual budget. He was pretty used to it. It really didn't bother him, but at the same time, he didn't want Choutarou to notice. And with Choutarou around and living with him, he might. Shishido decided if his mom hadn't sent any money by the end of next week, he would call home and ask her for some. It was rare that he gave in and did, but Choutarou was worth his pride.
Choutarou kissed him gently out of his thoughts. "Shishido-senpai, I wouldn't let you hurt me. Not for my sake, but because I know how hard that would be for you. Shishido-san?" Choutarou kissed him again, "Kiss me and touch me. Let me make you feel good. I want to touch you so much...I've wanted to touch you for so long..." He said it in a moan.
Shishido didn't know what to do. To stall, he kissed Choutarou and felt him moan again one of those soft whimper moans in his mouth. He loved when Choutarou was all hot like this. All hot and turned on and not embarrassed at all. This was thrilling. Shishido wondered if he was the one who might be dreaming.
Choutarou dipped his tongue into Shishido's mouth making him feel a sudden surge of fresh want. Shishido at first thought that he was just so very turned on, but then he realized Choutarou was telling him the truth. Choutarou really did want to touch him--and had for a long time. It was sweet and felt right, and Shishido seriously weighed the options. It was possible that Choutarou was being like this because he was half-asleep and carried away by lust. Maybe the pill was still affecting his judgment, though Shishido didn't think so.
Still, Shishido didn't want him to regret it in the morning. It would be difficult enough not watching Choutarou now as it was in front of Atobe and everyone else. What if they went any farther?
Choutarou shamelessly and hotly begged. "Please? Please, Shishido-san? Please? Touch me?"
Choutarou kissed him again and moved Shishido's hand to the front of his own pants making a small noise when Shishido's hand touched him through the thin cloth. He made another when he felt Shishido tighten his hand and trace the contours of Choutarou's erection with his palm. Damn, he was big. Shishido felt Choutarou's erection twitch under his touch. It felt so huge and hot Shishido could swear he felt its pulse. Choutarou kissed Shishido more and ground his erection up against Shishido's hand. He writhed under Shishido's touch and his breath came faster. Choutarou was that damn close just from a kiss and a touch.
Shishido heard himself growl a moan again.
Shishido was trying to be in control and trying to do everything right. He really was, but knowing what was right is one thing. It's another to do the right thing when you're hard and throbbing and aching and the person you want is in your arms and kissing you and wanting you and begging you to touch them. It's nearly impossible to do. Choutarou kissed him and moved against Shishido's hand in those delicious, tiny thrusting motions.
A sudden hot thought of those tiny thrusting motions while Choutarou was buried inside Shishido popped into his mind and would not let Shishido go. He couldn't help but think of Ohtori doing this while inside him. It had been a long time. Ohtori would be hot and hard and buried deep inside him and the thoughts made Shishido shiver. "Choutarou..." Shishido growled his name in lust, indecision, and frustration.
Choutarou kissed him again and Shishido felt the freshman's warm strong hand slide down his pants. His strong large palm closed around Shishido's erection so lightly that Shishido didn't feel his skin being touched, just the heat from Ohtori's hand and fingers dancing across his sensitive skin. It left Shishido trembling. Whisper soft Choutarou finally touched his hand around Shishido's throbbing swollen erection. Shishido had to be dripping wet. Shishido felt so turned on he felt dizzy and almost nauseous. He couldn't ever remember being this turned on or tempted before but Choutarou didn't even seem to care if he was so turned on he was dripping wet. Actually Ohtori seemed to like it, which no one had ever done before.
After what felt like an eternity, almost hesitantly Choutarou closed his hand more. Softly encasing Shishido who gasped at finally being really touched. He had to fight himself from moving his hips and making the contact more. Choutarou just held his hand there and Shishido was too turned on and too curious what he would do next to stop him. He wanted Choutarou to feel free to explore him, but at the same time his urge to stay in control and need to keep Choutarou safe wrestled with what was left of his conscious in the wake of his desire.
Shishido whimpered softly as Choutarou slid his hand up and down. So softly along his skin that he didn't even move Shishido's foreskin. For such a big guy and such a big, strong hand, how gentle he was made Shishido feel freshly dizzy. His touch was halting. A tease. Shishido was surprised and breathing hard wanting more. Maybe it was punishment for when he moved Ohtori's foreskin back and kissed his tip in the shower earlier. Shishido didn't know. What he did know what he was shaking when Choutarou finally tenderly slid his foreskin down and then back up.
He made Shishido moan at the light contact and Choutarou smiled as he kissed him. Choutarou removed his hand and he pulled Shishido's pants up again. Shishido felt disappointment suddenly flood through him as he thought that was all Choutarou was going to do. Ohtori had only been curious and Shishido chided himself that he should know better. Choutarou was a freshman and inexperienced. He was shy. While Shishido liked when he took control, he really shouldn't expect Ohtori to know what he was doing.
Although, there was something to be said for more exploration. Shishido reached for Choutarou's lips to encourage him and in response while they kissed, Choutarou ground their erections through their clothes together again. He broke off their hot kiss and before Shishido could stop him this time Choutarou licked his wet hand. Shishido looked at him in shock. He had completely distracted Shishido to get what he wanted and Shishido had no idea why. A moment before he was going to suggest he wear a condom to do this just to be sure, but he was going to agree. Choutarou hadn't even given him time to say it.
Shishido was angry. No, suddenly furious and he felt hurt. Almost betrayed. Choutarou had slickly played him.
Not realizing, Choutarou licked his hand again and moaned softly, "Shishido-san, you taste so good. I've been wanting to taste you for so long. Shishido-senpai, you're healthy. There is nothing wrong with you except up here." Choutarou kissed his forehead and then his mouth. Shishido kept his jaws firmly locked because he was trying to keep his sudden burst of anger from making him say something stupid. He didn't want to hurt Choutarou, but he was feeling hurt. Choutarou went on, "You're healthy, you're safe, and I'm not too good for you. I know you and because I know you, I believe in you too just like you believe in me. Please? Let me touch you more. I want to make you feel good..." Choutarou went to kiss his lips but Shishido moved away.
"We're just...we're moving really fast." Shishido said in protest but he knew that wasn't true. They'd spent all these weeks, hell, months getting to know each other. They'd spent hours upon hours together not being physical which was what lead up to this moment. It wasn't like Shishido was such a big talker that if they waited several more weeks or months they would chat about any of this or talk about their feelings anyway.
The truth was, Shishido had always learned best by doing and living in the moment. Shishido in his heart didn't want to stop but he was afraid. He had to admit to himself, he was scared again. It was such an abnormal thing for him to feel that it was hard for him to realize at first that was what he felt. Whenever he felt afraid in the past he tried to think of the worse case scenario and come up with a solution to deal with it. Usually things never went as bad as Shishido's most pessimistic thoughts but if they did, then he felt prepared to cope. His worst case here was that for whatever reason, he would do or say something that would make Choutarou reject him and he would go away. Or even worse Choutarou would reject Shishido for Taki or someone else.
But the very worst would be if Choutarou suddenly didn't like him. It froze his heart to even think about it. Shishido didn't think he had it in him to go through someone else he cared about and loved not loving him back. Not again.
It was a childish wish to want one person in the world to love you. To want one person to really know you and love you anyway. The whole soulmates thing was ridiculous and out loud Shishido had told many crushed girls it was something he did not believe in. But secretly, deep down, he wished for it anyway. More than anything his entire life he had wanted it. Wanted this--and he realized if he didn't do something, he was going to ruin things all by himself.
Choutarou was looking at him stunned and crushed, "Oh. Oh god. I...I'm sorry, p...please forgive me, you didn't want me and I..." Choutarou went to stand up and looked mortified.
Shishido felt his heart nearly breaking thinking of Choutarou leaving him and he realized he was pushing Choutarou away. That was the one thing he did not want to happen. So Shishido reached for him and held Choutarou close. "No Chou. No baby, I'm sorry. That isn't true. I just was worried about hurting you and I stopped listening to what you were saying. To what you wanted. I want this too. I want you. I'm sorry. When I tell you no or not to do something, you've got to listen to me, okay? I get mad easy and I'm stubborn and an idiot, but you know I didn't mean it. I don't. I really like you, Choutarou. I really like you and I really want you. I want you so much that it scares me, but more than anything I don't want to hurt you. I didn't know they tested us, but I trust you." Shishido sighed and laughed a little at himself, "I'm sorry. I suck at talking about feelings and stuff. Let me just show you, okay?"
Choutarou looked uncertain and worried, but nodded.
He put his hand on Choutarou's cheek and kissed his mouth softly. Shishido pressed his tongue between Choutarou's lips and tasted the saltiness of himself on Choutarou's tongue. Kiss me, baby?" Choutarou regardless of whatever it was he was thinking and feeling instantly obeyed and kissed him. Shishido kissed him back and enjoyed it. He stopped worrying and stopped being afraid because Choutarou was staying.
Shishido knew from tennis, too much fear could make you lose before you even got to play. Being afraid all the time was more crippling than having no fears at all. If you never took the risk you could never win. He vowed to himself to stop being such an idiot. The worst case was Choutarou leaving and that wasn't going to happen. "Touch me, baby?" Shishido asked and slipped off his pants to show Ohtori he was serious.
Choutarou hesitated an instant before putting his hand back on Shishido's erection. He held Shishido whisper light and did not move, but at least the freshman was touching him.
Shishido asked, "Can I touch you? You want me to touch you, baby?"
Choutarou nodded and then made another one of his little sounds when Shishido pulled Ohtori's pants down and slipped them off. Shishido had a natural talent for taking people's clothes off. Not that it was a skill you would tell anyone about, but he was good at it. And Choutarou helped.
"You're okay? This is what you want?" Shishido asked but he knew what he was secretly asking is, am I what you want?
Choutarou half-whispered and half-moaned his reply. His eyes closed when Shishido touched him. It sounded like his answer came from deep inside him, "Yes..." Choutarou's breath caught when Shishido slid his hand down, "Oh...yesss..."
Shishido had never done this. Not like this. And no one had done this to him. Girls were simply not good at this and Shishido was more into giving pleasure than getting it. He knew everything to do on a girl, but guys were sort of new to him. His grand sum of experiences were himself and Atobe. When he had gotten Atobe off he had been behind him and touched Atobe only like he was doing it to himself. Shishido had never faced anyone, done this, and kissed them. Shishido guessed maybe this is what Choutarou must have done with his dead best friend because he seemed to be experienced with it. One thing was sure from his reactions, Choutarou really wanted to do this with him now.
Originally he figured Choutarou would be completely naive when it came to sex but after kissing him all night, Shishido was learning fast that for a shy guy, Choutarou enjoyed pleasure and overcame his shyness when he wanted something. Choutarou touching him felt good, hell Shishido being touched after all this time felt good, but something wasn't right. Choutarou wasn't all into it like he had been when he was all over Shishido just a little while ago. Now Choutarou was holding back and hesitating thanks to Shishido's stupidity. "Choutarou, show me how to do this. I've never done this before with someone. Show me what to do and what you like. Make me feel good. Don't hold back. Please? My body won't lie. See? I want you, baby. Show me."
Choutarou smiled a little and first moved Shishido's hand to a completely different position and grip on himself. Apparently Shishido really had no idea what he was doing. Choutarou stroked himself using Shishido's hand and that alone was so hot Shishido moaned a little. Shishido tried to imitate the movement when Choutarou took his hand away. "Like this?" Shishido asked checking.
Choutarou gave almost a purr before kissing him and answering, "Yesss...oh...Shishido-senpai. That feels good." Choutarou smiled in that wicked way again. "I'll make you feel good too..." Choutarou kissed him and touched the tips of their naked erections together. He broke the kiss to ask, "Do you have any lotion?"
"There's lube in the box over on the table beside you." Shishido said it without thinking and hoped Choutarou didn't inspect the contents of the box too closely again. It was on a cheap plastic table that Shishido used as a nightstand. In a little box he had picked up from somewhere he kept lube and condoms so they weren't sitting out. He knew Choutarou had dug through there looking for a pen before he passed out asleep earlier, but what else had he seen?
Shishido tried to think of what else might be in there. Probably just a few stupid things that he knew he should throw away. An earring a hot girl gave him that after she pierced his ear at a party. It was big and probably a diamond, although he took it out that night because his mom would kill him if he got an earring. There was a poker chip, an I-Ching coin, a few coins from foreign countries he wanted to go to someday, and a new tip for his pool cue. There were his meager savings in there and also there were probably a few ponytail holders, but Shishido had those scattered everywhere all the time.
He had a silk ribbon from a Valentine's Day box of candy a girl he had liked had surprised him with last year. The ribbon was wrapped around a gold peacock pin with jewels on it that Atobe for some reason had given him that day too. Shishido didn't think the pin was real. He hoped it wasn't because it was damn large and ugly but with Atobe you never could tell. Shishido figured he should probably hock it to see what it was worth. Maybe he wouldn't have to call home for money. If there was enough left over from his budget, maybe he could buy Choutarou a present or something. He had no idea what Choutarou would like though. Come to think of it, Shishido had never given anyone a present before. The idea kind of sounded fun so he tabled that thought for later.
Choutarou reached over and looked. Shishido thought he might do a girl thing and ask what each thing in the box was but instead he held up the bottle of lube and in the dim light Shishido could see the freshman's brow was furrowed. "This?" he asked and sounded perplexed.
Shishido was surprised but then he thought about it. Of course Choutarou would have no idea what it was so Shishido asked, "You've never used that?" Choutarou shook his head no. Shishido shrugged. "Yeah, it's what I use."
Choutarou moved back to him and into the position on his side he was in before. He squeezed some into his hand. "Slippery." He said and touched some to himself first before Shishido could warn him. Adorably, Choutarou sucked in his breath, "And cold."
"And cherry." Shishido said smiling at his reaction. So cute, Choutarou cocked his head to the side like Shishido's dog did. "It's cherry flavored." Shishido explained.
Choutarou licked his finger and sounded surprised, "It's good." He pressed his tongue into Shishido's mouth as if Shishido didn't know the taste and put his now slick hands back on Shishido.
Shishido put some lube in his hand, made sure the bottle was closed, and then placed his hand back on Choutarou. "Like this?" Choutarou paused a moment before touching him and moved Shishido's hand around changing things again. Shishido figured he must be bad at this. To try to make amends, Shishido moved his other hand to touch Choutarou's testicles. It earned him another one of those sexy whimper noises from Choutarou. "Better?" Shishido asked with a smile.
"Yes, Shishido-senpai..." Choutarou said in a sigh before kissing him deeply. Shishido had to admit this was nice. It felt good, the kissing was great, Choutarou was always fun, and it didn't feel as sexually intimate as well, sex.
At least Shishido didn't think so until Choutarou touched him again with his slick hands. Choutarou apparently knew how to touch Shishido better than he touched himself. It was almost like he had instructions on exactly how and where to touch Shishido. Choutarou started with his wet tip and teased his foreskin back playing with it as if it was all familiar to him. Then he slid his hands down Shishido's shaft in almost a twisting motion down to his base. He kept moving in little twisting circle motions up and down him with his fingers sometimes tight and other times gentle. He played with Shishido's testicles but so gently that Choutarou must have known how sore Shishido was there after so long of not coming. After the fourth stroke like this Choutarou somehow moved his fingers over Shishido's wet tip and Shishido whimpered in pleasure in Choutarou's mouth while still kissing him.
Choutarou smiled and asked, "Okay?"
Shishido could barely speak but he just managed to gasp out while Choutarou's hand made another pass over him, "Damn...baby...gods yeah...d...don't stop..." It was all Shishido could do to keep moving his hand on Choutarou and kiss him. He felt terrible about how bad at this he obviously was and wondered what Choutarou thought. Choutarou was this good at things like this after having done stuff with only one other guy? He felt jealous. Then Shishido lost the ability to think as Choutarou's hand made another pass and somehow it changed it to even better. Shishido was suddenly breathing hard and close. Only practice kept him from coming and he moaned instead as he tried to fight the urge to thrust himself into Choutarou's clever palms and fingers.
His moan must have sent Choutarou over though, "Shi...Shishido-san, I'm going to come...a little, but don't stop...please...I won't be done." Shishido nodded and watched him in awe. Even that close Choutarou kept touching Shishido better and better. Shishido was surprised that Choutarou wanted him to continue after he came because Shishido couldn't stand to be touched after coming. Atobe couldn't either and Shishido was curious because he had figured all guys were the same.
Choutarou's reactions though sounded like he was close and Shishido had to keep from coming himself as Choutarou said softly, "Oh...Shishido-san...ohhh..." Choutarou whispered something and Shishido wondered jealously if it was his friend's name. Choutarou thrust a little into his hand and came a very little bit. About three drops which shocked Shishido.
Ohtori moaned and shuddered. Shishido kept moving his hands as Choutarou showed him and still expected Choutarou to tell him to stop or take his hands away in sensation-overload agony but he didn't. Choutarou smiled at him. He kept moving his hands on Shishido, constantly making each pass feel better and better. He also moved himself closer to Shishido and touched their erections together again. Choutarou lay partly on top of Shishido but still on his side. He opened his hand wrapped around Shishido and Shishido's hand on himself so that their erections tips touched but still rubbed against their hands. It felt incredible. Shishido thought he understood what Ohtori wanted him to do next but wasn't sure and was very curious about all this. Shishido felt very close, and wanted more.
"Shishido-san like this..." Choutarou moved in a small thrust to show Shishido, "I'll move with you." Choutarou opened his hands and put their erections between their hands. The freshman again sounded close so Shishido did a small natural thrust and moaned at how good it felt.
He did another one and Choutarou moved with him. "Yesss... Oh more, please..." Choutarou begged him so Shishido moved more. Without thinking about it, their bodies seemed to find a rhythm together. Shishido felt Choutarou shaking and knew he was probably doing the same though he was so intensely watching Choutarou it was keeping him from coming. He didn't mind, this was incredible and he knew regardless he would come soon. Choutarou kept making those tiny little noises and kissed Shishido hard and deep, "Shishido-san...oh god...I'm...oh...I..." Shishido this time was waiting to hear what Choutarou whispered in case he said it again. So softly, Choutarou whispered a name, "Ryoh..." and then he came hard making no other sound.
Choutarou's heat and his touch sent Shishido over. Shishido surprised himself when he cried out Choutarou's name and a heartbeat behind him, came shuddering along with him. It was so good, so intense, and everything between them felt so right. Shishido gasped and bucked and trembled in Choutarou's arms and hand.
So it felt so wrong a heartbeat later when before he could shout a warning or utter a curse, the edges of Shishido's vision grew dark. He desperately tried to fight it off and bask in his orgasm. He was still coming. His body was still being rocked by strong, powerful convulsions. So many, Shishido had lost count. Four...five...six... He moaned in the ecstasy of sensation and the agony knowing he couldn't stop this though he fought like hell. It wouldn't stop. Damn it. It grew closer. He tried to gasp for air. It wasn't fair. He hadn't told Ohtori about this because it hadn't happened in so long...no...gods no...he didn't want this to happen...no...!
And Shishido was swallowed away by complete blackness.

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Learning to Land