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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter Ninety Eight ~Shishido~
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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He was floating. That was how it always felt. Peaceful, weightless, and free. His soul soared along in perfect contentment. There was a feeling of warmth and acceptance inside him and everywhere. Everything was right and good and safe. This place to him was home and the one place in the world where he was loved. Really and truly loved. There was this strong sensation of belonging and light and...happiness. There were times in his life when only here did he feel loved and happy and accepted.
It was his secret escape even though he had not been to this place for a long time. He missed it.
He missed them too and he knew they missed him. They were overjoyed he had returned.
He sensed rather than saw the two...oh...okay...it wasn't two...it was three...three people here. Always here. Always happy and waiting for him. Although he somehow knew they weren't really people. It was more like they were spirits or something but it was better if he just didn't think about it. It was best if he just enjoyed the time they had together. He had suspicions as to just who these beings were, but always it was okay for him to not worry about it. It was perfect for him to not think at all about the specifics or the details--he could just accept everything for what it was. Accept and love them back just as they accepted and loved him completely.
He couldn't see their faces or hear their voices, but he knew they spoke to him and were smiling at him. He could linger in the perfect joy of this place. You didn't speak out loud here. You didn't need to. Everything you felt and thought they just somehow understood.
A long time ago, he had tried to stay, but they couldn't let him. They wanted him to stay and thought about it for a very long time. Almost too long. But in the end, they sent him back. They said it wasn't time for him. They always did. That first time he wanted to stay and couldn't, it had broken his heart and nearly broke his spirit when he was sent back.
This place and these feelings were his refuge when everything around him was horrible and he had no where else to go. When he was little, he used to think he was special and only he could visit this place. Maybe because they considered allowing him to stay for so long, that made him special. Now that he was older, he didn't know and tried not to think about it. He could be cold, exhausted, hurt, sick, hungry, unloved, and all alone, but in this place none of that mattered. Because of the love that surrounded him here, he needed nothing. All was perfect and peace and joy.
Usually.
But not this time. Because for the first time, there was a part of him that did not want to be here. He realized a surprisingly large part of him did not want to be here at all. He wanted to be...he couldn't remember where--only that this place suddenly didn't seem so perfect. Something was missing for him. Something big that he needed was left behind. There wasn't enough love here because of the big missing...thing. No. Not thing.
A person.
The person. The person he loved.
It came crashing back like the waves of his conscious mind were being washed up against the shore. Choutarou.
He had to get back to Choutarou.
He fought and struggled to get back to Choutarou. He had go back. He had to. He had never done this before. Usually in this timeless place he let things just happen. This time, for the first time, he fought. He summoned all his will and still found it was like trying to swim against a strong rip tide dragging you under and away. He desperately thought to the spirit-people-things that were trying to keep him, No, I have to go back. I love him. I belong with him. Please! Please let me go! I have to go now! He needs me! You have to let me go! Help me!
But they didn't help him. For the first time in his life, his safe escape suddenly didn't feel safe. It felt empty and he felt alone. His disappointment and bitterness over this hurt. He tried to show them why it was wrong to keep him here against his will with images and emotions but they sent back some nonsense. Something about he was the one who was unable to understand. He felt them smiling at his inability to comprehend. They thought it was dear, like a grandparent smiling at a beloved child, but they were not helping. Damn it.
What hurt him even worse was at the same time they smiled at him, they kept trying to tell him they loved him. He thought back at them angry, If you love me, then let me go!
He struggled more because they weren't helping him. Not fast enough. He figured he could do it better and faster on his own. From a long way away he heard a sound and rushed towards it. It was faint and sounded sad--so heartbroken that he hesitated in his need to get back just to hear what it was. He heard, "...it's okay...I'll still..." there was a sobbing sound and the voice was filled with sorrow, "...still love you even if you're...even if you're sick. I swear it. I can do this. I've done it before. I can do this. I'll be strong. I swear I will. I'll do anything for you. I won't leave you. I won't. Not ever. My feelings won't change." There was another sob, "It's not your fault Shishido-san and..."
Oh. That was his name.
He felt hands under his arms and he was being moved. Shishido tried to put together what happened and couldn't. He didn't know what was real. He felt lightheaded and that kind of groggy exhausted way that is nearly impossible to shake off. It felt as if he'd been drugged or taken a really strong sleeping pill. He was pulled along again by those big hands and turned on his side. Shishido felt naked and it was only then that he realized he was.
He felt in danger and wondered when the hell this was. Remembering really bad things and what someone might be going to do to him, Shishido snarled to scare them as they put their hands on his face, "What the hell are you doing?"
Choutarou gasped, "Oh god you scared me!"
Shishido was shocked that it was Choutarou that was going to...wait, Ohtori would never do that to him. Never in a million years. So what the hell?
Choutarou said in a sing-songy voice someone would use to comfort a sick child, "It's okay, Shishido-san. You're okay now. Just relax. Don't try to move just yet. You're safe in your bed and I'm right here with you. I was just moving you to your side because I didn't know how long you would be out of it." Shishido's upper body was on his left side but his hips and legs were flat like he had been on his back. He really had no idea how he got there and tried to shake off the last waves of exhaustion that poured over him. He guessed Ohtori moved him here, but from where and why the hell Shishido was naked--he wasn't sure.
The freshman lay down beside him, sort of behind him. Choutarou put his arm around Shishido's waist. He rested his hand familiarly on Shishido's chest. On Shishido's heart in what felt like a gesture of comfort and affection, but Shishido suspected the worried freshman was really checking his pulse.
Shishido looked down and only then realized the room was dark and it was night. He fought off the pull of sleep and realized to his surprise the comforting warmth of Ohtori's body was the freshman's naked skin up against his.
Softly Choutarou said in that singing voice, "You're okay now. I'll take care of you, Shishido-senpai." He moved his hand to sweep some of Shishido's hair off his neck and face. Shishido was sweaty.
Choutarou even tucked some of Shishido's hair behind his ear. He kissed Shishido's now bare cheek before settling down behind him. He held on to Shishido tightly. "I won't ever leave you and my feelings will never change for you, Shishido-san. I swear it." Choutarou kissed him again. This time his lips lingered on the back of Shishido's neck as if sealing an oath. "I swear I still feel the same for you even if you are sick..." Ohtori sobbed a little sob again but it was muffled like he was forcing it down. After a second or two he said all soft and with a forced cheerfulness, "You've just had a little seizure, it didn't last long, and you're okay now. Just rest..."
Shishido wondered what the hell and said, "Seizure?" His voice sounded gruff like he had been yelling. He cleared his throat and turned. He lay on his back and looked at Choutarou in the very dark room. He was going to angrily demand Choutarou tell him what the hell happened when there was a small flash of light outside. Lightening. Just quick enough for him to see that Choutarou had been crying. Hard. Shishido's heart went out to the freshman while his brain tried to process what the hell happened, "Baby, what are you talking about?" Bits and pieces started to fall back into place.
"You...you had a seizure. When you ha...had an orgasm...and...and so I...I moved you to your left side. That's what you're supposed to do. It...it doesn't bother me or anything, Shishido-san. I won't...I won't tell. My best friend has...had...has epilepsy so I know what to do. I didn't know you had epilepsy or were sick or whatever, but it's..." Choutarou gulped down air. He said in what was probably supposed to be a calming voice, but he sounded intensely stressed out and a second away from crying his heart out, "It's okay." Ohtori's voice cracked on the last word. He tried to say it again but it came out in a whisper, "It really is okay..."
More of what the hell happened was returning to Shishido. Including why they were both naked. Well he was almost naked. Shishido felt his pants were wrapped around his ankles and he was all wet with what was probably his own semen. Damn it. Not a good or respectable way to wake up. He turned his naked body against Choutarou's and faced him. The freshman appeared to be in about the same condition. Naked, wet, and upset.
Shishido remembered why and how hot things between them were before he was an idiot. Everything came back to Shishido and he wanted to beat the hell out of himself. Okay. Sure, he never expected that he and Choutarou would mess around like that. Someday, yeah, but not tonight. And no, Shishido doing that hadn't happened in a really long time, but... Shishido gathered himself and thought. From how upset the freshman was, he had better handle this really well right now. Not rough or angry as he was feeling because basically, if he had to be totally honest, Shishido felt extremely embarrassed.
Choutarou deserved better. Especially since Shishido suddenly remembered about Ohtori's dead best friend. Damn it. Sick. Oh gods, Choutarou must think...
Shishido said, "Baby, come here."
He held Choutarou in his arms. The freshman allowed Shishido to hold him, but he was hesitant to hold him back as if Shishido was made of glass and might break at any moment.
Shishido sighed, "I am so sorry I scared you baby, but Choutarou, I don't have epilepsy. I'm not sick."
"But you..." Choutarou interrupted. He was understandably upset and Shishido could hear it when his voice cracked again, "But I saw..."
Shishido held him closer. "Shh...I'll explain. I'm sure I look like a total idiot when I come, but I wasn't having a seizure. I swear I wasn't. I don't have epilepsy or anything like that. I really don't. And I guess I should have told you or warned you, but I didn't have any idea any that we were..." Shishido decided to change tactics. It was his fault he let things go that far between them, but it was good too. Shishido can't say he didn't want it to happen or that he had any regrets about it at all. He didn't.
He couldn't let Choutarou blame himself for any of this and the freshman might. Shishido sighed. He had to be extremely careful here, "The truth is, that hasn't happened to me in a long time. In a very long time. In years. When I was younger and I would come really hard, I'd pass out like that. Just for a few seconds, but it would happen all the time. It would happen whenever it was intense or I would orgasm really hard. I am so sorry I scared you and I know, it's one rumor you probably haven't heard about because it rarely happens with anyone else and it hasn't happened in years. It would usually happen when I was alone. A few times with a girl it happened so the first time I'm with a girl, you know having sex, I make sure I'm in a good position just in case. You know what I mean?"
Choutarou clearly didn't and shook his head no.
Shishido held in another sigh, "Usually I have the girl be on top the first time we do it. Or I'm behind her or I brace myself so that if it were to happen she wouldn't notice. It never happens after the first time and like I said, it hasn't happened in years, but I never pass out for long. Just a few seconds, five I guess at the most, although to me it seems longer. How long was I out? Five seconds? Ten?"
Shishido held Ohtori's hand in his own and laced their fingers together. There was another flash of lightening but it wasn't very bright. The thunder took a long time to come and sounded far away so the storm must have moved on. Still, Choutarou jumped at the light and then again at the thunder. Shishido took the opportunity to hold him closer while he listened to what the freshman said, "Ju...just under thirty seconds. Twenty seven seconds. I c...counted while I helped you because you...you're supposed to keep track for the person. At...at thirty seconds you give them air and I was just going to for you, Shishido-san. I was just checking to see if you were breathing. You stopped coming a little before...before you...before you woke up and scared me."
"Damn? Really? That's a long time for me. I don't think I've ever been out for that long before, but maybe because it hasn't happened in so long. Really, usually it lasts like five seconds. It used to happen to me all the time. Whenever I jer...touched myself. It's how I used to fall sleep when I was little. I guess I was about seven when I started you know...touching myself and it started around then. I couldn't come yet ,but I would do that at night alone and pass out when I had an orgasm. After I passed out I would be really tired and just stay asleep, but like I said it hasn't happened in a really long time. And I've never been out for a long time like that. It usually only happens the first time with someone, maybe because it's more intense the first time, I don't know. I looked it up online once and I saw it happens to some people. You know the doctors here test us for everything, right? They've never said anything to me about anything being wrong or being sick. Once I even asked a doctor and said it was a girl I was with who passed out when she came. You know, I didn't want to say it was me." Shishido shrugged, "The doctor said she was a lucky girl so I didn't ask anyone after that. Look, baby I can't promise it will never happen again, but it probably won't. And it only happens with really good orgasms, so I guess that means you gave me my best one ever." Shishido smiled and kissed him.
He felt Choutarou smile slightly against his mouth, but the freshman did not kiss him back. "You...you're really not sick, Shishido-san?" It wasn't the words, it was the way Choutarou asked them that broke Shishido's heart. They were almost whispered and it sounded as if he was pleading for it to be true.
Shishido pulled back to look at him and smiled to reassure him. He couldn't tell Choutarou why he understood how upsetting this must be for the freshman, but he could promise him this, "I promise, I'm really not sick, baby. I'm perfectly healthy..."
Choutarou gasped and suddenly pulled Shishido into a fierce, tight hug. He was breathing hard and it seemed like he was holding back more tears.
"I'm not going anywhere, Choutarou." Shishido just held him back and let him take his time.
After a long few moments Choutarou asked, "Ar..aren't you going to tell me you can't breathe, Shishido-senpai?"
"As long as you're happy baby..." Shishido started to make a joke, but Choutarou interrupted him.
He released Shishido from the gripping embrace and pulled back to look at him in the dim light. Choutarou said, "I am happy. I'm so happy. And I'm so sorry I got upset when I thought you were sick..."
Shishido interrupted the apology, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just sorry I didn't tell you that it might happen. I really didn't think it would ever again." Shishido tried to put himself in Ohtori's place for a moment. He put his hand on Choutarou's soft cheek and kissed his lips softly. Choutarou melted into the kiss and Shishido felt waves of stress pouring out of Choutarou's body. It felt so sweet. It felt so right, but that thought of being in Ohtori's place wouldn't leave Shishido's head.
Just thinking about the freshman being sick. Seriously sick made Shishido feel almost frantic. He had no idea how Choutarou was as strong as he was. He had no idea how Choutarou was able to open his heart again to even try. He marveled at how rare this chance for both of them was, how timing and fate could really mean so much really hit home. Shishido said, "Baby, if you were sick, oh gods I would be upset. Devastated. It wouldn't change how I feel about you or anything between us, but I would still be upset and very worried. I might even be angry, not at you, but probably at the situation. That's just human sweetheart. Now that I've found you, I don't want to ever be without you. I don't ever want to lose you." Shishido was lost in his feelings of not wanting to lose Choutarou and he said out loud without thinking, "I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you."
Choutarou suddenly pulled back to look at him.
Shishido worried he said too much because in the dim light he couldn't make out the exact expression the freshman had on his face. He tried to think of something to say but couldn't.
Very quietly Choutarou asked, "Have you ever...Shishido-san, have you ever lost someone you were very close to? Like a best friend or a brother and one day had them not in your life anymore? One day they were suddenly gone...to some place where you couldn't reach them anymore no matter what you tried to do? Oh, of course you have. Your twin. But, have you ever lost anyone else important like that?"
Extremely wary and very carefully Shishido weighed his options. His heart was pounding and his mouth went dry at having to tell Choutarou his deepest, darkest secrets right here and now. Shishido felt the hairs on the back of his neck tingling as they always did when he felt the urge to retreat or stop when someone got close to him like this. Especially over this subject. But he found that as bad as it was, he could not lie to Ohtori so he slowly nodded and said, "Yes."
He told himself that Ohtori needed him, and as his big brother let alone anything else, it was his job to be there for the freshman. Even as he told himself these things, Shishido waited for the inevitable questions from Ohtori wanting more information. It would be natural for Choutarou to ask, but at the same time it meant giving more information than Shishido had ever given to anyone. Shishido tried to anticipate the questions so he could answer honestly and at the same time he tried to make sense of it all.
It was a bad place he did not often go to. It was hard for him to even think about and he had no idea how to begin to tell it to anyone else. Telling it to Choutarou would be the hardest thing. Shishido would have to tell it for the first time and tell it to the one person who meant so much to him. He didn't know how anyone would react. Even Choutarou with a heart of gold might want nothing more to do with Shishido when he heard. What happened still hurt so much and didn't make sense to Shishido, so he had no idea how to make it begin to sound reasonable to anyone else. Shishido braced himself for what was inevitable.
But to his amazement, it didn't come. Not the questions or the demands for answers. Instead Choutarou shocked the hell out of him by saying, "I thought so, Shishido-san. Sometimes I can just tell things about people and I thought so. Can I ask you something else?"
Shishido nodded, dreading.
Choutarou took a deep breath like he was going to bare his soul, "How...how did you get over it? When does it stop--stop hurting. Sometimes I think I'm fine, but then something happens and I...there are times when I just miss my best friend. It's the strangest thing because I'm really happy here. Most of that's because of you Shishido-san, but I swear I really am happy. I'm happy and I think everything is okay, but then something happens and it all comes back to me and it hurts. It hurts so much. How do you get over it? How long does it take until it doesn't bother you anymore? Or until it stops hurting so much? I'm just...I'm so tired of it hurting all the time." Choutarou said all this seriously and asked with everything so carefully worded that he still never said his best friend was dead.
Shishido was awed by it. At him. He was the bravest and strongest person Shishido had ever met.
After along moment of thought, Shishido answered Choutarou truthfully, "Honestly? I'm sorry to tell you this baby, but the truth is, I don't think you ever do get over it. That's just how it is. You have good days and bad days but it's always there. It always hurts. Just sometimes not as much. Like when I play tennis, it doesn't hurt as much. And when I'm with you, it doesn't hurt as much. I came to Hyoutei and started over and I guess you did the same. I think it's better to do that. Starting over in a new place is good and having good friends and people you care about in your life helps, but you never get over it." He held Choutarou closer as his words sounded bleak and depressing to even himself.
He had to say something better. Shishido tried again. He had never talked about any of this with anyone, but he found he had more to say about it, "But Choutarou? Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. If someone is that important in your life, then their leaving your life should be just as important. But, you still have your life to live. Your life can't become just about losing them. Life is a gift. A very precious gift. Even when it's bad, and even when it hurts, you owe it to the people you've lost to keep on living and to make the most out of it because they don't have that anymore. As long as you're alive you have a chance to make things better and you owe it to yourself and to them to try. That's...that's just what I think. Does that make any sense?"
"Yeah..." Choutarou was quiet a moment as if thinking. "It makes a lotta sense, Shishido-san. Thanks. You're really smart."
Shishido smiled and chuckled, "Ha! I am not, and you're talking like Gakuto again."
Choutarou laughed, "I like his accent. It's fun. I like yours too."
"Hey, I don't have an accent. No one but Atobe ever says I have an accent, and he says it just to be a jerk." Shishido heard himself sound more defensive than he meant to.
Choutarou surprisingly laughed in a teasing sort of way, "You have one, Shishido-senpai, but I like it. It's only on certain words and it's the tone of your voice more than any kind of regional dialect. You have your own way of speaking. Like when you say my name. No one says it like you. Shishido-san, I...I really like how you say it." He said it in a husky, turned on way that was damn sexy. The freshman in his arms was suddenly shy but still serious.
"Oh yeah?" Shishido decided to tease him back, "The sexiest thing I've ever heard is you saying my name. My given name, just before you came. Damn, baby. That was so hot. It was almost like you saying my name made you come."
Choutarou buried his forehead into Shishido's chest and said something. Shishido lifted his chin because he couldn't hear it and Choutarou said, "I said, it...it does. I...I didn't know if you heard me..."
Shishido wanted to kiss him, badly, but he wasn't done with this yet. "Hell yeah I heard you. So...that's one of the two times when you can say my given name?"
Ohtori nodded and leaned his face over obviously expecting a kiss. It was so sweet. Shishido ran his hand down the freshman's strong, cut body.
He was curious. Their bodies and legs were entwined but Choutarou's hips were pulled back. Even when he hugged Shishido tightly, Choutarou kept that part of himself away. Shishido's fingers easily found what he was looking for. Choutarou whimpered at his touch. He wrapped his hand around Choutarou's erection again marveling at the weight and size and yet, they fit well together. Just a few days ago he'd been worried because Ohtori was physically so much larger than him in body size and weight, and now he realized he shouldn't have. Shishido said in a purr of renewed lust, "You're still hard." He actually felt it throbbing in his hand.
Embarrassed now for some reason, Ohtori stammered a reply, "Oh...I...I wasn't done when you...I was edging and then you...so I...I stopped...but I...I did come...a little bit...I just...stopped. I had to...take care of you. At least...I thought I did...I'm sorry I thoughtnnnnn..."
Shishido kissed him. Hard and sweet. Gods he could kiss him all night and would still want more. He kissed away the apology and suddenly realizing something Shishido asked in awe, "You were able to stop when I passed out? Just to take care of me?"
Choutarou nodded as if mortified and Shishido had a thought, "What is edging? You said you were edging? Is that how you were able to stop?"
Shishido had no idea how the hell someone could just stop. You were either coming or you weren't, right?
Choutarou squirmed and looked uncomfortable, "Shishido-san? I...um..."
Shishido moved his body more up against Choutarou's and noticed a distinct squishy cool wetness between them. He smiled at needing to reassure the freshman after what they did earlier about anything. What made Choutarou even sexier was the freshman didn't have any idea how hot he was. "Baby, don't worry. You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything in the world. Say whatever you want to say. I won't get mad."
Taking a deep breath, Choutarou said, "Well...it's...it's just that my best friend and I...we..." Shishido had to keep from leaning forward as the freshman's voice dropped down so low it was almost a whisper. He had a sense that whatever this was, to Choutarou it was extremely important. Maybe he might even say everything right here and now. Shishido felt his heart beating faster in response and tried to will his pulse to match the calm, neutral expression he was trying to keep on his face.
Choutarou seemed to study Shishido's face in the near darkness for a long time. He finally shyly said, "This is going to sound weird. We...we didn't really know what we were doing. I mean...we had seen some stuff to do and heard about other stuff, but we didn't know like names for things. There was no one we could ask about this so we...we kind of made up our own words for...for fooling around. Like I didn't know until I talked to Gakuto that coming was called coming. It's stupid, I know but we called things other words because we didn't know the right ones. I don't know what you call edging, but it's the stupid thing we said for riding the edge. You know right before you're going to come and you don't want to yet so you stay on the edge and ride it so you can bring each other there again and again? So when you both do come you do it together and really hard? I don't know what that's really called. But that's what edging is. I was really...really..." He took a breath as if he was annoyed at himself for not being able to get the words out.
Shishido pulled him close into a long hug, "It's okay, baby. Take your time..."
The freshman said softly into his ear, "Shishido-san, I was really excited to touch you and for...for you to touch me. I've wanted to for a really long time and I was afraid I would...I would come too soon and you wouldn't...maybe you wouldn't want to do it again. What's edging really called? I'm sorry I don't know things like that. I'm sorry I don't know how to do things to please you, Shishido-san. I wish...I wish I knew how. I wish I knew how to do everything better than anyone else you ever liked or kissed so that you...you really...really..."
Shishido interrupted because Choutarou was working himself up. "Hey, you already do please me..." He pulled back to look at the freshman, but Choutarou wouldn't meet his eyes. He looked down at Shishido's chest. He took Ohtori's chin in his hand and brought it up so Choutarou had to meet his eyes. They were filled with unspilled tears and it broke Shishido's heart.
He insisted again, "Baby, you already do please me." Shishido forgot about his disappointment in Choutarou not telling him about his dead best friend because all that mattered suddenly was that those beautiful big brown eyes stop crying. Shishido really liked the way they crinkled when his little brother smiled or better when he laughed. The best was when he was laughing with Shishido over some shared joke or story. When he felt confident, like when it was just the two of them alone, Choutarou really had a beautiful laugh.
Shishido tried to pick his words carefully, "Baby, I really want to touch you again. I liked it and I was really excited for it to happen too. You saw I was trying to take things slow, but when I'm around you I forget everything else but you. I really liked it. Choutarou, honestly I've never liked anyone as much as I like you, no one. And that was way before I even kissed you. There's nothing you could do to make me like you more, because I already do, baby. And before you ask, no, I've never had feelings like this for any girl, and not for Atobe either, so this is all new for me too. I've never felt like this before about anyone. It's really good, but it's not any place where I've been before, and even with that, I'm happy baby. You make me happy and I want you to be happy too. Now that I told you that, I have no idea what edging is called because I've never heard of anything like it before, but it sounds interesting. Hot and fun. Maybe you can show me next time?"
He half-smiled and shrugged at the freshman, "Don't forget, almost every time I've fooled around with anyone, I've been with girls. And the one guy I was with, I told you, it was not good. It's totally different with you--there's nothing to compare. Choutarou, I want to be with you. And anyway, you probably know more about a lot of this stuff than I do. You've done things more times with another guy than I have, so you don't have to worry about using the right words or saying the right things or anything like that. Not with me. All I want is for you to be real and honest, and happy. If you have a question, ask it. If you want to do something or not do something, tell me. I'll do the same. I'm where I want to be and I'm with who I want to be with, okay?"
Shishido raised his head up to look over Choutarou at the clock. He figured out they had time enough or he would make the time and shrugged, "So tell me about edging." He kissed Choutarou's warm lips softly and said in a growl of suddenly renewed lust, "Or better yet, show me. We've already broken the don't come before a match rule. Let's make it worth our while..."
He went to kiss Choutarou again, but the freshman gasped and started to sit up, "I forgot! Oh god! I'm so sormm..." Shishido grabbed him and kissed the rest of his apology away. He kissed him again and again until the freshman laughed and sighed against him.
"It wasn't anything I believed in anyway..." Shishido said dismissively and he tried to get Choutarou to kiss him back more like earlier when he had been into it. Atobe had a stupid rule. He believed some study that said a person played better if he did not ejaculate within 24 hours of playing. Shishido knew first-hand that Atobe broke his own rules depending on the Vice Captain's mood or the right temptation.
Forgetting Atobe, and forgetting everyone but the freshman in his arms, he kissed Choutarou again. His little brother was responding, but at the same time he was hesitating and holding back. Shishido licked Choutarou's lips and then sucked on the freshman's tongue. He slid his hands up the freshman's strong chest to his shoulders and softly raked his fingernails down the naked skin of Choutarou's back. "I don't believe in it. I never saw any proof of any difference..."
"There...there is no difference, Shishido-san..." Choutarou said calmly although his breath sounded faster. "My best friend and I edged all night before we won regionals. It helped with our nerves and helped us to relax. We did it before every tournament and match. Even before nationals and we won them too. It never made a difference. Not in any negative way. If anything, it helped. We used to joke we got our edge from edging."
Choutarou leaned over to kiss more but Shishido pulled back, "You...won regions and nationals? Seriously?" He wondered to himself just who this freshman was. Something tugged at Shishido's memory but with how turned on he was, it was hard to think coherently.
Like a trapped animal, Choutarou suddenly froze and then went into that nervous babbling thing he did, "Well...well yes, we did, but it was a long time ago and we were just kids and it was for doubles and Hyoutei is much harder than grade school tennis and much more competit..."
Shishido covered the freshman's mouth with his hand. Choutarou was so stressed out over answering one question that Shishido had to stop him. He must have been worried because he thought he had to talk about his dead friend. Shishido kicked himself for pushing, but it was just the way Choutarou so casually said, oh when we won nationals... It stunned him. How could it not?
He realized Atobe must have salivated over getting a strong nationals winner at Hyoutei, even if Choutarou did show up to school late and a mess. Shishido wondered about Atobe pushing Choutarou so hard on that first day and how much the Vice-Captain had known. He must have known enough to set Choutarou up expecting a reaction when he saw Shishido, but Atobe must have not anticipated the freshman passing out. Or Shishido wanting to help him. Or any of it.
Or did he? Did he know all along and set both of them...up? Shishido shook his head to clear it. Thinking things like that did him no good. Atobe wouldn't answer straight even if he was asked a direct question. Wheels within wheels. Hyoutei. Best you could do was keep yourself honest and safe. And maybe keep those you loved safe and close while you were at it.
Which meant Shishido had to get Choutarou distracted and back on track at the same time. He had a simple idea of how. Maybe guys weren't hard to figure out after all. Shishido half-grinned at his little brother and wrapped his hand back around Choutarou's erection.
It made the freshman suddenly relax and whimper both at the same time.
Shishido said, "If you wanted to impress me, I'm impressed. You are full of surprises, and I want to hear all about it. I really do. Tell me about it just, tell me sometime later, okay? Tell me about edging now. That is...if you'd still like to show me? I want you to come baby. Or even better? Come with me. Touch me. I want you to touch me, and I'll try to not pass out this time. It's always only happened the first time. I should be good now. Show me. What do I need to do?"
The fingertips of his other hand were still on Choutarou's lips. Beneath them he felt Ohtori smile. The corners of the freshman's eyes wrinkled in that adorable way. He felt Choutarou's tongue licking his fingers.
Shishido moaned a growl deep in his throat and had to ask, "Do I taste good?"
Smiling and still licking at his fingers, Choutarou nodded yes. He sucked on Shishido's index finger for a moment and then took his mouth off, "But it's not the cherry taste I like, it's you, Shishido-san. I love the taste of your skin." The freshman beamed a smile, now very happy. "You really want to try? Really? Um...okay. Uh...I think we should try my lotion. Okay? I have some in my bag..."
And with that, Choutarou was up and out of his arms. Shishido reached up and clicked on the cheap clip-on lamp he used when he read in bed many nights when he couldn't sleep. He turned the lamp around like a spotlight to help Choutarou find his way. The strong freshman's body was perfectly sculpted and Shishido couldn't help but admire it. The light showed off every cut and contour of his tennis hardened muscles. As Choutarou bent down it also practically gleamed off his perfect butt. A butt that had apparently never ever seen the sun. Shishido grinned at this. He hoped the light was bright enough that Choutarou couldn't see him smiling. As Choutarou rummaged through his tennis bag, Shishido watched and thought to himself at least now he knew what a bubble butt was and how damn sexy it could be. Choutarou's was perfect, stark white, but round and firm, solid and strong and...damn...perfect. Somehow, on Choutarou, even the white skin was hot.
Choutarou must have felt Shishido watching him. That or he just liked that Shishido was laying in bed naked, hard, and waiting for him to return. The freshman blushed as he made his way back. He was holding a small white jar with a blue lid in one hand and his other he was ineffectually trying to cover his large erection. He was just about to hop up on the bed when Shishido decided he had to see something.
"Stop." Shishido smiled as the freshman instantly complied. "Don't think. Just take your hand away."
Choutarou moved and held his hands out awkwardly as if he was worried that there was something on him. His freed erection bobbed and his face turned instantly redder, "Shi...Shishido-senpai...?"
"Do...not...move..." Shishido got on his knees and moved to close the space on the bed between them. His bed with the special mattress was almost hip high and kneeling here for once put Shishido at about the same height as Choutarou. When he reached him, Shishido eyed him up and down, "Damn." Choutarou looked worried and Shishido put his arms around his shoulders before drawing him into a slow, sensual kiss. "I just had to look at you, baby. You are so sexy."
"Se...sexy...? Me...?" The freshman laughed in an incredulous way, "Gakuto says I'm the...the anti-sexy."
"He's wrong," Shishido growled and decided he was going to hurt Gakuto. Badly. The little idiot didn't know when to keep his stupid mouth shut. And the worst thing was he was dead wrong and Choutarou took his stupid wrong words to heart. Choutarou covered himself with his hand again. "He's wrong. You're very sexy. Let me see. Take your hand away. I want to see you. Please?" He tried to draw the freshman into another kiss but Choutarou's jaws were locked shut. The best Shishido could do was to lick between his lips with a wet slide of his tongue.
"I...I...uh..." Choutarou stammered and Shishido sat down with a sigh.
He practically had to pry the freshman's hand away so to distract him, Shishido asked, "What lotion do you want to use and how do you want to use it?"
"Oh...it...it's this, Shishido-san. It's from America and it's the best. It's called..." He said a word, but it sounded weird so Shishido looked at the jar. In the light he could see the English letters and he sounded them out in his head. Choutarou, with his bad English, had pronounced it wrong.
"It says it's called Al..bol..ene." Shishido said it slowly so Choutarou got the name right. Then he noticed something else, "It says, moisturizing...cleanser. It's soap?"
Choutarou was still nervous and uncomfortable, "Oh no. It's not a soap. And you can use it for lots of things, Shishido-san. This is a sample size, but I have a big one too. I use it for blisters and where my violin chafes my neck and when our...when my hair was long I used it if the ends were dry. You don't have to wash it off. It just makes your skin soft and it never stings or anything. It doesn't dry out or make those little ball things like yours...ohhhhh...Sh...Shishido-saaann..."
Shishido had coaxed Choutarou's hand away and since the freshman's large erection was now basically staring him in the face, on impulse Shishido rubbed it across one of his cheeks and then against the other one. Choutarou's skin was soft and hot and smelled like soap and guy. Until that moment Shishido never thought about the difference between the smell of a girl's skin or a guy's skin, but they were different. Choutarou's skin smelled good. Sexy. Hearing Ohtori's reaction, Shishido licked his tongue softly along the shaft up to where the freshman's foreskin just barely covered part of the swollen head.
In a breathy sigh Choutarou said, "No...Shishido-saaan...it's...it's dirty..."
Shishido rubbed his face against it again. He felt it hot and hard and soft against his cheek. "It's not dirty baby. You're clean. We just showered." He had a moment of wondering what he should do to make a guy feel good and almost laughed. In all the time with Atobe, Shishido had never wondered because it never mattered this much before. That and Atobe was easy. Much easier than a girl, where you had to figure out the small intricacies and how things worked in general before finding out what each girl wanted and what worked specifically for her to get off. Maybe Taki was right, and guys had an advantage with guys because they had the same parts and knew what they liked.
But in a lot of ways, Choutarou was more challenging than a girl because Shishido had long ago figured out girls. There was nothing easy or common about Choutarou, and Shishido had no experience that he could really draw on. He guessed that he should just make this part of Choutarou feel really good. Shishido could do it sort of like girls had done to him.
Poor Choutarou probably badly needed to come. Shishido licked his tongue along the ridge and tasted the soft skin stretched taught by the hard flesh. He licked around the exposed tip, and finding a small bead of wetness had pooled in the little hole, he licked that too, tasting a salty sweetness. Remembering how girls used to teased him, Shishido exhaled over the tip, letting Choutarou feel the soft warmth of his breath. He rubbed his face against it again, but this time he went further so his hair touched it. He wondered how sensitive the freshman was.
Choutarou whimpered and gasped so Shishido thought he was probably doing all right. Shishido looked up at him and when their eyes met, Choutarou moaned again. Just from looking at him doing this. A sense of incredible power surged through Shishido's veins. He put his feet on the floor which lowered him since the bed adjusted by weight to not make any pressure points. Lower now, Shishido rubbed his face like a cat along Choutarou's inner thighs and kissed the smooth thrust of his hip bone. He ran his fingers through Choutarou's soft curled pubic hairs. Shishido thought to himself he was wrong. Choutarou should never cut these soft little ringlets. They were unexpectedly sexy.
In response to his touch, Choutarou buried his fingers in Shishido's hair. Shishido felt something cold against his bare thigh and realized Choutarou must have dropped the jar he had been holding. For a moment, he thought Choutarou was going to force his head like Atobe would or like sometimes girls tried to do, but all the freshman did was gasp for air. He was panting from every slight touch Shishido made.
Shishido decided to reward him for good behavior. It was something Shishido liked when girls had done it to him, but he had never done this to a guy before. He had no idea what it would be like. Shishido opened his lips wide and gently took one testicle into his mouth. He jealously wondered if Ohtori's friend had ever done this.
"Nnnn...Ahhhh...Shishido-sannn..." Choutarou gasped and Shishido felt a hand on the back of his head stroke through his hair with a tremble. Shishido had a feeling that nothing else and no one else existed for Choutarou at this moment but him. It wiped away the jealousy Shishido had been feeling.
Shishido licked and tasted his way around. With his mouth he tested the weight and fullness of one side and then the other while smoothing the silken hairs down with this tongue. Choutarou was panting by the time Shishido started licking his tongue around the freshman's root. Wet and slow, Shishido explored up along the rock hard shaft while his hands slid up and over that tight, strong, perfect bubble-butt he had been admiring earlier. When he reached the tip after licking the salty bead of moisture that gathered there, Shishido ran the tip back and forth across his closed lips like it was a nipple he was trying to make harden.
Choutarou's breath was coming in sobs and Shishido could feel the freshman's entire body shaking. He looked up to make sure the freshman was all right.
The moment their eyes met, Choutarou gasped, "Shishido-saan! Ohh god...no!" He came, but it was just a little bit, no more than the size of a coin, but it was on Shishido's cheek. He went to tell Ohtori that the least he could do was give a guy a little warning, but the freshman tackled him, "Oh god. Oh no. I'm so sorry! I dirtied you. I'm sorry! I..." He licked the spot off Shishido's face.
Shishido was stunned. Beyond stunned. The difference between Atobe and Choutarou...there was no comparison. Choutarou was simply amazing.
"Stop," Shishido said and felt something he didn't even know had been hurting inside of him suddenly heal. "Don't move, don't think, just let me kiss you. Please?" He meant to kiss him soft, but he kissed him hard because, stupidly, Shishido felt close to tears for some reason. It was kind of like when he saw something on TV when he was alone that was sweet and romantic, the beauty of it could make him feel like crying, but he had never felt that for another person before. How good this was between them suddenly made Shishido feel like crying.
Instead, he licked his tongue inside Ohtori's mouth and groaned. Shishido realized the freshman would let him do whatever he wanted, but was going to stay frozen until he told Choutarou he could move again. That and Choutarou had already swallowed.
"You swallowed your own come?" Shishido asked feeling annoyed and amazed. A moment ago he had felt like he had been spit on, but now it felt like something valuable was taken away from him.
In the light he could see the freshman was crimson, nervous, and babbling, "Oh god. Is that bad? Are you not supposed to? Is it wrong to? I didn't mean to...I just...I dirtied you and I had to get you clean. I'm so sormm..." He covered Ohtori's mouth with his fingertips.
"You are seriously beautiful." Shishido said meaning every word and he felt like crying again. He tried to choke it down. "Inside and out, you are so beautiful baby, do you know that? You didn't dirty me. You could never dirty someone like me. It's okay. You liked what I did?"
Wide-eyed for emphasis the freshman nodded.
Shishido continued, "When I looked at you, you couldn't hold back?" Damn, that was so hot. Just a look from him could make Choutarou come.
He got another nod this time with Choutarou's eyes shutting for a moment as if mortified.
Shishido suddenly understood something else and was floored, "You were edging. You haven't finished coming yet, have you?"
He took his fingers away to let Choutarou speak, "I...I am so sorry, Shishido-san. I didn't mean to get it on you and never on your face. I...I stopped, but I...I didn't start edging until you looked at me and I...I couldn't stop it from coming out and...oh no...oh god...there's some in your hair..."
Choutarou moved to touch his fingers to Shishido's hair as if it he was wiping away filth from something precious. Shishido grabbed Choutarou's hand and saw shiny wetness on the tips of the freshman's first two fingers. "It's just hair, baby. You are so beautiful. You could never dirty me," Shishido said and put Choutarou's two fingers into his mouth.
Shishido kind of braced for the taste, but other than a saltiness, there was nothing else. It was a very small amount and it faded away to nothing almost instantly. Shishido felt sort of disappointed. In the back of his mind, Shishido had been worried about this. The few times Atobe tried to force Shishido to swallow any of his, Shishido had retched and what was worse, he threw it back up which only made him have to taste it again.
He worried if he got sick with Choutarou, the freshman would see it as a rejection. Shishido seriously didn't want that to happen, but he thought he had time to adjust to the taste and the thought of what he was tasting before any of this happened. He didn't have time, but with Choutarou he found he didn't need time to adapt. More time with Choutarou was all he needed. It seemed to make everything better. This was just so damn right.
Suddenly Shishido understood why it had been so important to Atobe that he swallow the vile stuff. Ironically, Atobe never swallowed his and rarely used his mouth. It was more of his and Atobe's war games than any sort of affection for each other. Truly, there was no comparison.
Shishido silently vowed to do this often with Choutarou. He wanted to. He wanted to please Choutarou more than anyone else. He suddenly understood why that was so important. He would learn to love it and everything else Choutarou enjoyed even if it killed him. He wanted the freshman to feel sexy and accepted and loved all the time.
It was a good start, although the freshman was looking at him with his mouth hanging open and his cheeks flushed. It was rather adorable.
"Lay down on the bed, baby." Shishido said and added so it didn't seem like an order, "Please?"

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Learning to Land