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End of A Weary Day--Formating Revised 12/21	By : Lin Category: Rurouni Kenshin > General Views: 12600 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Glossary: koishii=dear or darling koibito=sweetheart saiai=beloved aijou=love aman=lover meito=mate netsuai=love passionately i tsumademo=forever virgin=ba-jin baka=fool or idiot kuso=bullshit meito=mate nani=what?

Standard disclaimers. I do not own Ruroni Kenshin. It is a product of Jump Comics, Inc. Aren't they the luckey ones? I just have this really unnatural attraction/fantasy thing for Kenshin. But then, doesn't just about every female who writes fanfiction on this site? Welcome to the wonderful world of Kenshin-obsession.

Chapter One
The End of a Weary
For once in his life, Kenshin was not enjoying his favorite task of doing laundry for the dojo's occupants. It just seemed that today his mind and heart were somewhere else, and it most definitely was not in the wash tub. Three times now he had caught himself absently washing the same tan hakama. Actually it was more like he was fingering dry rice kernals through his fingers instead of washing.

Sighing in obvious frustration, he angrily dunked the hakama into the sudsy water and took to washing it vigoursly until he was absoultely sure it had to be clean.

'I just don't know what's the matter with me today.' His mind was a bit troubled at his lack of focus on the task at hand as he put the wet garment into the straw basket to be hung on the line later. 'I just can't concentrate, that I cannot.'

Bright amethyst eyes looked high into the brilliant blue of the midmorning sky and he watched a flock of white crane fly past in a large 'V' shape. "Winter is coming." He observed to no one in particular as he watched the large birds heading for warmer climates and fresh fish. "That means snow and ice." He glanced at his wet hands and rubbed the callouses on his palms. "I should start stock piling the wood so we are ready. There is no need to get caught unprepared when the first cold snap hits." He sighed and made a mental note to take care of the wood soon, and went back to his laundry tub.

Time past slowly, but at last he was hanging the damp clothes on the line t dri dried in the cool afternoon breeze. Usually he liked this part of the chore the best because it gave him a chance to stretch his back and upper shoulder muscles, helping to ease some of the deeper aches and pains.

However, today he felt none of the usual pleasure in manipulating the muscles in his body in an exercise that had nothing to do with his sakobatou. He was distracted. He was unfocused. He was absent from his own mind, and he could not seem to find an answer within himself as to why.

Early that morning when he has risen from sleeping and dressed for the day, he had quietly stepped out of his room and closed his fusuma so as not to wake anyone. Then he had slid his sakobatou into his belt and proceeded to walk the full length, breadth, and width of the dojo and its property making certain all was as it should be. This was his morning ritual and nothing had ever inturrupted him. Nothing that was until today. Today had been different.

Today as he walked through the willow trees and ferns outlying the flower garden by the koi pond, he had seen something that had taken his breath away and left him frozen to the cold ground still as stone.

Koaru was up. Usually she slept soundly for at least another hour after Kenshin, but this morning she had beat him awake; however, she was not fully dressed as he was. He found her setting on the edge of the cement pond where the big carp fish swam,with her back to him, feeding them old crusty pieces of bread from the kitchen. She was wearing only a flimsy white yukata despite the coolness of the early morning air. It surprised him greatly because this was not even one of the yukata's she usually wore. Instead it was made of a gosimier type of material that was very thin and nearly see-through showing clearly the outline and shape of her young full breast when she turned to drop the crumbs into the water. The pale pink bud of her nipple was a tantalizing ghost when it pressed tightly against the thin white fabric.

Her long silken ebony hair was draped over the shoulder farthest away from him, and did nothing to obscure the deliciously erotic view of her. He could tell she was completely unaware of him, and so with a supreme effort, he forced himself to back away from the garden on silent feet into the cover of the trees so she would never know he had been. It had been more than difficult to leave her setting there when his body, soul, and heart were screaming for her with a need almost greater than his control could hold in check. The stirring of the Battousai's passions within were becoming harder and harder to supress around her, and now after this... Dear God, what was he going to do now? How could he resist the growing need now that he had seen her like that? He had always believed in his heart that she was beautiful beneath her kimono, but to have his fantasies proved true was a burning agony in his mind. The great heat and hardness of his hunger for her rested heavy against his thigh as he stood with eyes closed, hand gripping his sakobatou, trying to bring his raging emotions back under the iron fist of his control.

Kenshin's breathing was ragged, and harsh as he battled within himself for ownership of his feelings. His sharp Battousai's hearing heard her when she quietly slipped back along the engowa and through the fusuma into her room. Feeling as if his soul had been saved simply by the fact that she was no longer obtainable, he had gone into the kitchen and started working on the morning breakfast meal for everyone hoping that would take his mind off of what his heart refused to forget.

Now Kenshin was struggling with the most mundane of tasks. Tasks he performed nearly everyday with good natured predicability and a sge sge sort of satisfaction. He kept dropping the clothes on the ground as he tried to hang them, thus having to wash them over and over. Finally with an uncustomary angry curse, he threw the last gi that fell into the wash tub with enough force to splash a great wave of water over the edge.

"KUSO! Where the hell are my head and my hands? They certainly are not with me, no they are not." Tossing his thick red hair angrily out of his eyes, he stomped back to the dojo intending to do something else. What? He did not really know, but anything was better than this attempt at futility.

He ended up cleaning out the dojo and student practice area. He swept and polished the wood floors and dusted all of the wall plaques as well as Kaoru's father's swords. It took up the rest of the afternoon. He had watched Her leave for the village several hours ago to run some errands and buy some new chop-sticks since Yahiko and Sano kept breaking the ones they had by fighting over who got the last bite of food all the time.

Smiling with a kind of brotherly tolerance, Kenshin considered the two younger men that often graced the dojo with their rambuncios presance. They were constantly picking at and on each other, and Yahiko could usually be found on top of Sano chewing angrily on his head like a little animal while Sano ignored him and ate everything. By that time, Kaoru would magically produce her bokon and whack them both senseless ending the whole thing. "Intersting family you have got here, Himura." Kenshin smiled to himself as he finished setting everything back into its place within the now clean dojo.

Looking down at his hands and clothes, he realized he had gotten very dirty cleaning the practice room, and decided that a bath was definately in order before Kaoru got home. "She would not appreciate seeing sessha looking like this, that she would not."

Kenshin filled the bathtub with water and then went outside to light the wood in the brick oven beneath that would warm it. His movements were methodic borne out of years of practice and habit. Then he walked to his room and retrieved dry under clothing and a clean black yukata.

After entering the bathhouse, he pulled the strip of cloth out of his hair and roughly shook the long red mass loose from its customary pony-tail until it fell around his shoulders and fianlly settled at his waist and hips. It had been years since he had cut it. Since before the Bakumastu if he remembered right. Many of his victims had called him a 'bloody devil' because of the ragged flaming top knot he wore while he was the Battousai. Perhaps it had been true. Perhaps he had been a devil back then. He had killed without mercy or regret. Each victim was just another mission to be completed. He had not started noticing the moral stain of the hitokiri's blood on his hands until a his his death count passed 200. Then it seemed the blood became harder and harder to wash off. Sometimes he would look at his hands, and they would appear to be covered with blood, and no matter how hard he scrubbed he could not get it to come off. The Battousai's spirit revelled in the blood while the Kenshin-spirit wept with the increasing loss of his humanity. The real battle had begun there. The battle for Himura Kenshin.

'Too much blood on my hands. Too many sins to forgive.' He thought as his mind filled with image of Kaoru setting on the edge of the koi pond. 'One day maybe it can be different.'

Kenshin removed his purple tabi, white hakama, fundushi, and his faded pink gi then slowly and painfully stepped into the steaming water. A great groaning sigh escaped him as the deep penetrating heat rose to cover him to the shoulders and then began to seep into his aching muscles. Wearily he let his head fall back onto the lip of the tub which cradled his neck on its graceful curve. Tired violet eyes slowly closed as he finally gave in and allowed himself to relax within the comfort of the soothing heat. As he did, his mind started to wander through his long list of Kaoru fantasies.

Kenshin's favorite vision was one that had haunted him ever since he had slid silently into her room one night to make sure she was safe, but had ended up staying through the night just to watch her sleep. She had looked so beautiful and so innoncent... so pure. He had wanted with all his heart to reach out and touch the beauty of her angelic face, but had not because he did not want to disturb her. Ever since that night the image of her laying so soft and sweet drifting in the arms of her hidden dreams, Kenshin had been plagued by a fantasy so decadent and immoral it often made him forcfully reprimand himself, but it never seemed to stop it from coming back.

He could see her clearly in his minds eye. Naked and beautiful, she was laying on sid side among the fragile rumpled folds of silvery blue satin sheets. One arm lay under her cheek and crooked over the top of her head, and became lost in the riotous flowing mass of her silken black hair as it spread out around her on the futon. The other arm was draped along the curve of her waist and hip with her hand delicately splayed open over the top of her elegantly shaped thigh. Her top leg was drawn up and bent at the knee so it could rest over the straightened length of her shapely bottem leg.

The glorious perfection of her pink tipped breasts rested at a slightly downward and side long angle as the weight of their rounded mounds was gently pulled towards the futon by the force of gravity. His hands burned with an insupressable need to feel and explore that soft flesh, to cup it and mold it, to tenderly pinch and squeeze those tantatlizing pink buds until they turned to hard pebbles beneath his touch. The thought caused his mouth to water in anticipation of tasting and nibbling and sucking those sensitive pebbles e hee he listened to her moan and whimper beneath him. Oh how the Battousai in him wanted to hear her moan with the desire HE aroused in her. That, too, was becoming a raging need that Kenshin was finding harder and harder to hold in check. The Battousai's lust and desire for Kaoru grew stronger everyday.

Kenshin sucked in a deep breath of the steaming air, and shifted in the water as his manhood hardened in response to his vivid imagination and mental images. It was the Battousai's tool, and it wanted her with as much lust as Kenshin's heart wanted her love. It was a dangerous combination for him, and he knew that, but the knowing did nothing to curb the tumbling heated thoughts as they tripped and stumbled over one another in an effort to be released from the prison of his control. He wanted Kaoru in his arms. He wanted her beneath him and wrapped around him, and he wanted to be inside of her more than anything else he had ever desired in his life except one. He wanted to feel her wanting him with the same burning need he felt for her.

The feel of her flesh was almost real to him, and the musky scent of her passion seemed to be all around him. The origin of that scent was another source of self-inflicted madness for him. The wonderous tangle of thick black curls that lay nestled over her venus both captivated and beckoned to him. He knew what treasure lay hidden there from his past experiences with Tomoe (limited as they were), and he ached with an deep longing to possess it completely. His fingers and tongue pleaded to explore its folds and depths almost as urgently as his hardened desire roared for the release it knew the hot moist cavern promised.

A deep feral growl of hunger rumbled within his chest and Kenshin slammed his fists violently into the hot water splashing it all over the floor.

"STOP!" He berated himself viciously and sat up. "No good will come of this foolishness, Himura. You are only torturing yourself needlessly. Kaoru-dono is unobtainable to you, you must know this. That you must." Sighing heavily, Kenshin sank back down into the water, and leaned back onto the edge of the tub. He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to restore peace and stability to his thoughts, but found it very difficult because he could not banish the images of Kaoru. So he allowed the logic of his mind itself to speak to his heart and soul in an attempt to creat peace and harmony once again. Logic and absolutes could always bring harmony into a world of pain and confusion.

'Relax and forget, Himura.' His logical mind spoke reason, but his emotion bred heart and soul screamed and howled in agonized rebellion against the thoughts. 'We do not need love. We are one alone unto ourselves. We are single and solitary, and do not require the companionship of another to be complete. We do not want. We do not need...' An unexpected sob tore from his chest as his control slipped. Pulling his head upright, he balled his hands into fists and clamped his eyes shut as tight as he could. Then he began shouting furious mental orders towards his mutinous heart and soul in an effort to quell their traitorous rebellion against his will.

'We do not NEED!' His mind screamed in ferocious rage. 'We do not LOVE! We do not FEEL! We are alone because we chose to be, it has always been so, and it will always be so. Battousai protects us when He must, and we comfort him when he needs us, and so we live. Thusly as we have done for the past 12 years. Our lives do not depend upon the emotions, acceptance, and comfort of another. We are singular, solitary, and seperate from the world. WE ARE ALONE BECAUSE WE CHOOSE TO BE! WE DO NOT NEED... WE DO NOT LOVE... WE DO NOT FE...'

His body was suddenly seized by a torrent of convulsive heart-wrenching sobs that exploded from the deepest core of his being, and Kenshin's mind reeled back from the agony unable to continue. It no longer held control over anything that was Kenshin. This was the truth Kenshin could no longer hide from. The truth that was finally stronger than his own willpower.

No longer could he try to logically convince himself that he was a man without needs or feelings or desires. No longer could he disguise himself as an inhuman machine that ate,worked, fought, protected, and slept when he could. Somehow, somewhere along the pathway of his life, he had evolved into a living breathing human man, and as a human, he was now capable of knowing the worst pain man could feel in his mortal life. The pain of a broken heart and shattered soul. No battle wound he had ever recieved could compair to this, and somewhere inside his frozen and tortured mind, the Ruroni within him whimpered and cried out in fear.

"We are going to die! The pain is too great for us to bare... Oh God! Kami-sama! Help us! The pain... The need... We do not want to be alone any longer... We are afraid to be alone... Kaoru!"

It was sometime later that he was sitting on the edge of the cement koi pond watching the carp swimming idly through the green water. Their movements were smooth and graceful like the water itself, and though they were an ugly fish in appearance, they were beautiful and elegant while held in the waters embrace. Amethyst eyes glanced up into a darkening sky, and as the stars began winking and blinking into sparkling existance one and two at a time, the phrase of one of his senshi's favorite poems came back to him from somewhere deep inside his mind.

"The bluest sky is crystal clear,
and infinitely high."

For so long he had never really understood that verse, but through the years it had come to mean many things to him. Sometimes it stood for the infinite possibilites of the future, while at others it represented all of the things he would not and could not ever obtain. However, it had also stood for the things he wanted the most in his life, or what he wanted most out of life depending upon his perspective at the time.

Tonight they stood for Kaoru. She was one thing in his life that he had wanted more than his own death, and the one thing he would end up dying over. His love for her was the first thing he had ever found worth living for. She was the only reason he had to live.

Within his rational mind, he had desperately tried to convince his heart and soul that neither himself, Battousai, nor the Ruroni needed Kaoru, but in the end his rataional mind had lost the battle. His heart and soul had won out proving to him without a doubt that without her beside him, he had no life worth living. So whether he died the death of the body and spirit, or the death of a heart and soul, he would still be dead it was just a matter of perspective and point of view.

So tonight, all three sides of him had resigned themselves to an eventual death without Kaoru. There was no other alternative. She deserved something better than him. Something cleaner, something younger, and something with less memories to cloud his thoughts and judgement.

"I wish I were a fish," He mused with a self mocking smile. "If I were a fish, the only cares I would have would be the fisherman's hook and a bigger fish." A dry chuckle escaped him as he watched the idol of his heart slither through the cool water effortlessly. "An"And I would be beautiful no matter how ugly and scarred my outer and inner appearances. I would always be beautiful in the water." Sighing sady, his head dropped and he let his delicate eyelids close over deep purple pools of infinite despair. "Make me a fish, Kami-sama. Spare me this horrible life of loneliness and despair. Please, make me a fish and set me free."

His hair was uncustomarily loose and hanging around him in a thick cloud of flaming red. He had tucked it behind his ears so his face was visible, but instead of the usually warm and smiling features, it seemed to be wearing a look of sad disinterest as if nothing around him mattered enought for him to notice it. He was the picture of loneliness, and it was a look that did not suit him. That it did not.

Kaoru pushed the gate open and walked through on tired aching feet. It had turned out to be a longer day that she had anticipated, and it was well after dark now. 'I hope Kenshin is not too mad that I didn't make it home for dinner.' She thought penchantly as she considered the trouble he always went to making sure everyone had something to eat all the time. Biting her lower lip guiltily, she walked to his room and gently knocked on the fusuma.

"Kenshin? Are you awake?" She listened carefully, but heard nothing. Her brows knitted in confusion. He did not usually sleep that sound, but she shrugged remembering how much laundry he had to do before she left. She knocked a little harder and called his name a little louder. "Kenshin?" There was still no answer, and Kaoru felt a little shiver of worry curl around inside her stomach. Quietly she slid the fusuma open and stepped inside. It did not take her more than a few seconds to realize that Kenshin had never laid out his futon and that the room was completely empty.

"Oh no!" She cried and ran back outside. "Where are you?!" She called out in an anxious voice. "Kenshin? Are you here? Kenshin??" Still there was no answer to her frightened cries, and Kaoru began to tremble all over as she tried to figure out where he would go. Her mind skittered from thought to thought frantically searching for an answer she could accept.

"I won't believe he's gone. I won't." She could feel tears filling her eyes and starting to burn that tender flesh. "I cannot believe he's gone. He would not just leave and not tell me... would he?" The tears over flowed and ran down her pale cold cheeks.

"Kenshin?!" She called again, and started to run through the house looking in every room. They were all empty as was the bathhouse. Frightened sobs began to tear their way through her chest as Kaoru started to panic. "He's not here... Kami, he's not here. Nooooooooo, Kenshin? Where are you?" She jumped off the engowa and ran on trembling legs towards the gardens and the fish pond. It was the only place she had not looked.

That was where she found him, but the Kenshin Kaoru found was not the man she had grown to know in the last two years. This man sitting on the edge of the large cement bowl looked lost and alone, and he wore such a look of sorrow that she felt a huge lump of emotion forming in her throat. More tears slid from her round empathetic blue eyes as she wondered what had happened to cause him to feel such pain. He looked so lost just setting there with his head dipped low over his chest, eyes closed, and hands folded quietly in his lap. "Kenshin..." She spoke his name in a small, tight voice, and carefully approached him laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Kenshin, are you all right?" When he did not move, Kaoru sat next to him and tenderly touched his scared cheek and noticed a tightening in his jaw.

"Kenshin, what is wrong? What has happened to you to make you so sad?" Her delicate fingers brushed some stray strands of fiery red out of his face and then gently grasp his chin and turned his face towards her. "Please tell me what's wrong? Please... let me help you. I want to help you. I cannot bare to see you so sad."

Fragile eyelids opened and revealed violet eyes filled with dispair and resignation, and Kaoru gasped in horror at the finality she read there. "Kami-sama..." She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head down to her shoulder. "Tell me Kenshin? What is it, koishii? What has done this to you? Oh God, what happened to you?" In her agonized concern over his state of sadness, Kaoru let her own guard down and her feelings for him rushed out in a torent. As she rock him slowly back and forth, she cradled him against her soft shoulder and breast crooning to him in a tender and comforting voice. "What is it?" Her voice was a gentle caress across the flesh of his forehead as all the love in her heart spilled from her lips, covering him in a blanket of unexpected warmth and security.

"It will be alright, Koishii. Whatever it is, we will fix it, that we will. I will help you, no matter how long it takes. I will help you and I will never leave your side. Together we can do anything, Kenshin-aijou." Her hand stroked his thick hair in a comforting rhythm and she rested her cheek against his forehead. She could feel him trembling against her, and she tightened the embrace of her other arm holding him closer to her heart. "Tell me what has hurt you so much, my aiyoku, and let me try to help you. Onegai, let me try. You do so much for me please let me try to do something for you now. Onegai, Kenshin, onegai tell me." The gentle kiss Kaoru pressed against his skin sent a violent shudder through his body, and his arms finally stole around her waist and clasp her tightly to him.

Kaoru sucked in a stuttering breath at his unexpected response and at the tight strength he held her with. Her heart began to beat frantically within her chest, and her breath came in little short gasps as she felt Kenshin bury his face against the curve of her neck, and then tenderly press his lips against her skin.

"I need you." The whispered admission was so softly spoken that Kaoru wondered if she had truly heard it, but when he said it a second time, there was no mistaking it. "I need you... Kaoru." The honorific was gone, and he was trembling against her.

Her eyes burned with more tears and they ran unchecked down her face dripping off her chin and jaw to disappear into the thickness of his hair. She tried to speak, but the lump in her throat was just to big, so she just wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck and shoulders and held on to him with all the strength she had.

Finally she found her voice, and replied very softly, her voice slightly muffled by the thickness of his flaming hair as she pressed her face against his neck.

"I need you too, Kenshin." His arms tightened almost painfully, and one hand rose to rub and caress the nape of her neck. Then it moved to cup the back of her head and and gently tugged her away from him a short ways. Kaoru stared in awe at the multitude of emotions shining in his deep blue-purple eyes, and at the look on his beautiful face.

"Kenshin?" She spoke his name in wonderment while her hand moved to cup his scarred cheek. "What... I do not understand?"

The smile that curved his handsome mouth made the breath freeze in her lungs, and her fluttering heart began to race at a thunderous pace. "Truly, you do not know?" The question was spoken in a warm teasing voice, and he leaned into her face and rubbed his nose against hers. "Are your amazing powers of perception failing you, my koishii?" He laughed softly as he rested his forehead against hers and returned the warm touch of his hand to caressing her sensitive nape. "Have you not figured all of this out yet? I am almost disappointed in you, my beautiful Kaoru. Do I have to explain it to you, koishii?"

Huge bottemless pools of blue cobalt searched his face desperately trying to understand why he was holding her in this new intimate way and calling her 'darling' and 'his beautiful Kaoru'. He had said he needed her, but just exactly what was he referring too.

"Kenshin?" The hand cupping his scarred cheek brushed more stray strands of red out of his face as she watched the play of emotions dance in his beautiful eyes.

"Yes, koishii?" An elegant brown eyebrow lifted expectantly.

"What are you saying to me?" Her fingers traced along that smooth brow and his hand came around to stroke the smooth softness of her face.

"What do you think I am saying to you, Kaoru?"

"I do not dare to think of what you could be saying."

"Why not? What are you afraid of?" His thumb traced the sensual curve of her bottem lip, and he watched her eyes turn smokey with the beginnings of desire.

"I am afraid I will be wrong, and then I will look foolish in your eyes." She caught her throbbing bottem lip between her teeth, and Kenshin caught his breath at the innocent but erotic gesture, and his heart rate quickly increased.

"Do not be afraid." His voice was a soft caress on her face. "Neither of us should be afraid any more. I am tired of being afraid, and I am tired of being alone." Once more he pressed his forehead against hers. "I do not want to be alone any more, Kaoru. I have been fighting with myself all day over it, and I cannot do it any more. I cannot face the world or my life alone one more day. Do you know what happened to me today, koishii?" He asked as he easily lifted her into the intimate security of his lap.

"Ne, nani?" She trembled against him as she felt the unfamiliar hardness of a part of him she had only dared think about in the dark privacy of her bed in the middle of the night pressing into her soft rear.

"I saw you this morning."

"You did?" She squeaked in alarm remembering what she had been wearing, or more correctly, what she was not wearing.

"Yes, I did, and the image of you in that flimsy yukata has nearly driven me insane all day. I could see your breasts and even your nipples, and you will never know how hard it was for me to walk away and leave you there. I wanted you so badly at that moment it took every ounce of control I possessed not to take you right here by the koi pond."

"I-I did not know you were there."

"I know you did not. I was careful not to make any noises so you would not, but those thoughts of you have been with me ever since. Dear God, Kaoru. Dreaming about what you look like and finally seeing how beautiful you really are has been almost more than I could stand. Perhaps it was a good thing you were gone into town all day." He chuckled mocking himself. "Having you close by might have proved to be more than my poor willpower could take."

"Are you saying that you might have..." She was blushing furiously and was glad it was fairly dark so he could not see.

"That I might have swept you off your feet and ravished you somewhere?" She nodded nervously. "Well then, the answer is yes. That is a very good possibility, after all, I am only a man Kaoru. I am not made of stone even if I pretend to be. Feelings and emotions are very difficult for me to express especially to those who are important to me. Like you are."

"Kenshin?" Her voice was tremulous and uncertain.

"Yes, koishii?"

"Do you love me? Is that what you are telling me?"

He smiled and and nudged her face up until she was looking at him. "Yes, Saiai that is what I am trying to tell you. I had convinced myself a long time ago that I was not worthy of one such as you because of my past and all of the blood on my hands, and tonight I told myself that being alone was a choice I made because I wanted too. Then I tried to convince myself that I did not require the love or comfort of another person to survive, and that I did not need anyone. I told myself I could live without you." His face became serious and slightly sad. "To my own dismay, I discovered I was wrong."

"Is that why you were so sad?" Increduality colored her features as well as shock and bewilderment.

Looking down and focusing somewhere around her chin he answered in an uncertain voice. "Yes. It was." His lips started to quiver and Kaoru could see the moisture of tears gathering in his eyes. "There was more pain involved in trying to convince myself I could not love you or be with you, and that I did not need you to feel whole than I have ever experienced in my life. It so consumed me from the inside out that, and I was certain I was dying because man is not meant to survive such agony."

"Is that what you were doing out here? Resigning yourself to being alone no matter the cost to your heart and soul?"

"Yes." Kenshin's voice was low and infinitely sad. "Alone and in pain for the rest of my life or whatever existance I might have. When you walked up to me, I was asking Kami-sama to make me into a fish."

A fish?" Kaoru giggled dipsite the seriousness of the conversation.

"Yes." He looked into her eyes as they glittered with humor. "A fish."

"I am sorry, I do not mean to be disrespectful." Kaoru tried to hide her giggles, but failed. "Why would you want to be a fish?"

"I would not have to worry about pretty girls with questionable ideas about what is funny and what is meant to be taken to heart as a word of wisdom." Kenshin was trying to be stern, but the hint of laughter in his own voice betrayed him, and Kaoru disolved into uncontollable giggles.

Holding her firmly in his arms, Kenshin gave in and joined her. Besides it felt much better to laugh than lament over being a fish.

"Kenshin?"

"Nani koishii?" He wiped tears of mirth off his cheeks and hers.

"I love you too, koibito."

He stopped and stared at her unable to move or speak after hearing the words spoken so simply and so honestly. He knew they had come straight from her heart because everything she was feeling was brimming over the edges of her bottemless blue eyes.

Her hands gently cupped his face and she leaned into him and pressed a soft tender kiss against his astonished lips. "I really and truly love you, my beautiful ruroni, and it will always be so. Never forget that." Then she was pressing another soft kiss into his mouth, and Kenshin could feel the last vestiges of his resolve melting away beneath her gentle touch.

He let her kiss him for several seconds allowing himself the luxury of feeling her pull him closer as she experimentally parted his lips with the tip of her tongue, looking for a way to improve the contact and intimacy between their mouths. Letting his jaw drop slightly, Kenshin gently but purposefully sucked her shy tongue into the heat of his mouth so he could massage it with his own. As he did that, a shudder coursed through Kaoru's body and an unconscious whimper of surprised pleasure spilt from her lips as they parted and gave him entrance to her moistness. This innocent but honest response from her was the last blow to his control, and Kenshin's grip on the Battousai's lust and need shattered.

A deep growl of desire escaped from Kenshin's throat in the split instant before his mouth hardened with a raging hunger, and covered her trembling lips in a fierce demanding kiss that took all her breath and strength away. Kaoru moaned at the hard passionate contact, and pressed herself closer against him. She could feel one of his hands cupping her jaw, and his thumb began to apply tender but insistant pressure on the cleft of her chin. He carefully forced her mouth open farther, and as she relaxed beneath his gentle demand, Kenshin groaned and slid his tongue deeply inside and began exploring the delicious wet core of her growing desires.

The world for Kaoru was spinning out of control as she felt all logical and meaningful thought leave her. She became simple clay in Kenshin's hands to be molded into whatever shape and contour he wished. Her tongue battled wickedly with his as instinct over ruled her innocence, and she responded feverishly to his heated kisses and fierce embrace.

As his arm wrapped around her back, he cupped her shoulder in the palm of his hand and pulled her firmly against his chest. Her head was cradled gently in the crook of the same arm allowing his hungry lips and tongue to ravish her mouth to his hearts content. His other arm slid possessively around her waist molding the slimness of her lower body into him as much as her possition in his lap would allow.

The hardness of his desire was pushing up against the softness of her buttocks, and he could feel the heat of her through her kimono and his yukata. Moaning with the pleasure this brought to him, Kenshin could not stop himself from pressing it up against her for a closer and more intimate contact. Kaoru shuddered in responsed, and unconsciously shifted in his lap settling more comfortably against the hardness beneath her. His neck and shoulder muscles tightened under her hands, and she heard a coarse moan echo deep in his chest.

"Aman..." It was a hoarse croak in his throat as a violent shudder shook him against her. "Kaoru-aijou." Kenshin stood up Kao Kaoru cradled in his arms and carried her carefully over the faulty pathway leading out of the garden back to the dojo. In only a moments time, he was setting her on her feet and hastily removing her silk obi and kimono, then he was tenderly laying her down on a futon that seemed to have magically rolled itself out on the floor of her room. He followed her down laying his weight on top of her as he searched out the heat of her mouth once more.

Kaoru could feel the softness of the mattress beneath her shoulders and back, and with a deep sigh of feminine satisfaction she slid both arms around Kenshin's shoulders and opened her mouth even more. His immediate heated response was to deepen the pressure and wetness of the blistering kiss, and move a tentative hand up to carefully cup and massage one of her soft white breasts through her thin under kimono.

A sob tore its way free from Kaoru's throat, and she arched upward into his hand pushing her flesh against his hand wanting to prolong the incredible feeling of his touch.

"Kennsshin..." He pressed a warm heated kiss against the swollen mound of flesh in his hand nipping at the barely concealed nipple, and then raised himself up and moved to the other breast squeezing and gropeing it more firmly that the first. Kaoru was trembling violently beneath him as he returned to her quivering mouth and captured her swollen wet lips for another passionate shattering kiss.

'So beautiful, so soft and smooth, so hot to my touch...' His mind was burning with the astonishing knowledge that she was here with him, in his arms, responding to his touch and his kiss, and returning his passion with as much heat if not more than he was giving to her.

"Koaru...God!" Kenshin buried his lips against the intoxicating flesh of her pale throat burning a pathway of fire back to her nape as she arched her shoulders off the futon. He could feel her whole body shivering and trembling underneath his weight as he pinned her down on the futon. Sliding his hands beneath her, he hungrily let the right one pull her hips up against his hard desire even as he manuvered one knee to ride intimately between her thighs spreading them open. The other hand was placed between her sharp shoulder blades lifting the softness of her breasts up to the passionate caress of his lips and tongue.

The front of his black yukata had been pulled open to expose most of his chest, and one of Kaoru's hands had found its way inside to touch the hot silken flesh. She was intoxicated with the feel of his skin beneath her hand, and she ran it up and along the side of his ribcage then over the hard muscles of his chest. When she felt the pebble-hard button of his nipple, she experimentally pinched and rolled it between her thumb and forefinger and discovered something very interesting and very valuable.

"Nnnnggghhhh!!!!" Kenshin pulled back from her groaning harshly and gritting his teeth. He rose up onto his elbows supporting himself above her giving her better access to the little treasure she held in her hand. His response was so unexpected and exhilarating to her, that Kaoru let her other hand give his opposite nipple the same treatment.

Pleasure flooded through his body, and as he threw his head back, Kaoru watched the look on his face, and was shocked as well as pleased at what she saw. His eyes were shut, his mouth dropped open in a silent cry, and the absoulte ecstasy reflected on his beloved features was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Spurred on by his response to her ministrations, she gripped his shoulders for support and leaned up into him. Her swollen lips parted wetly and then closed moistly over one of those sensitive buds, and she began to suck gently. "Nnnaaaayyyhhh!" He cried out as his hand rose and cupped the back of her head holding her against him. "Dear God, Kaoru!" His voice was a rasping stranger to its normal timber. "Aman...Saiai Meito."

Her strong little tongue licked and circled each straining nipple in turn until Kenshin's breathing was so labored that she stopped and pulled back to look at him. He was motionless for a long moment, and then lowered his head and opened brilliant amber eyes to hungrily caress her face.

Kaoru gasped in awe and wonder as she looked into the flaming eyes of Himura Battousai. They were filled with a fierce power and strength that she rarely ever saw in Kenshin's warm violet gaze, and Kaoru found this look stragely arounsing to the fierce fighting spirit within her own soul. A dark almost irrational passion lurked behind those golden eyes as they caressed the contours of her face and finally stoppedher her softly swollen mouth, which trembled delicately in response to his fiery look.

"Battousai?" Her hand rose and touched the scarred face as she gazed into the strange eyes looking at her from the face of the man she loved. "Kenshin?"

"Both, my Aman. It is my love that binds me here, but it is his lust and desire for you that robs me of my will and control. I am beyond stopping myself from having you, Saiai. I cannot turn back."

Kaoru felt a shiver of excitement rush through her and then settle between her lin tin the center of her most feminine place. A spasm of anticipation contracted the tender tissues there, and she felt a rush of heat and wetness cover her sex. Her eyes spoke volumes to Kenshin as did the shudder of desire that passed through her body ending in a convulsive spasm just beneath his hardness, and his already swollen erection hardened to almost painful proportions as it responded to the surge of emotions in Kaoru's body.

"Aman?" The voice was rough and raspy as he rubbed his nose against hers. "I will not frighten you. I do not want to hurt you.
"
"Battousai," She whispered the name in a ragged voice and pulled a hand free so she could touch his lips and then she kissed them with moist tenderness. "Make-love to me, Aman. Make me the mate of your soul."

"Kaoru...?" He rasped as a violent spasm of need coursed through his body and shook him against her. Deep golden amber eyes searched dark blue in an effort to make certain she was truly sure of what she asked. There was an aura of barely repressed danger surrounding him that was a tangible entity, but Kaoru found she was not afraid, and her hand rose to tenderly caress the scar on his left cheek.

"Love me... Battousai. I want you too. Show me your passion. Teach me how to please you, and show me what heaven looks like. Show me how much you need me." Wet lips pressed against his once more and her rough pink tongue rubbed against his teeth. "Love me...Battousai-Aman. Onegai. Saiai. Love me."

"Netsuai, aman-saiai..." Battousai breathed against the moist heat of Kaoru's mouth. "I will not hurt you, my angel." He tenderly removed the rest of her clothing and his. Then as he looked down at her mouth again and watched a gentle smile curve those beautiful red lips, he gathered the soft beauty of her into his arms and pulled her beneath him once more.

Battousai's lips intentionally and insistantly parted Kaoru's as they molded to fit their soft contours in a slow, sensuous kiss filled with all of the love and need of his soul. Then, in one fluid movement, he rose above her and lowered his hips between her thighs and pressed his hardness against the moist quivering heat of her arousal. Shuddering whimpering sounds of primitive need could be heard in Kaoru's throat as she writhed beneath him and instinctively pressed her wetness against the touch of that hardened rod.

His hands slid beneath Kaoru's hips and lifted them up against him, increasing the pressure and sensations by changing the angle, and Kaoru tore her mouth from his as her back arched up off the futon in anguish. Battousai watched his lovers pleasure with a satisfied smile, and then bent his head and buried his lips in the valley between her pale breasts.
"Ke-Kenn-Kenshin?" Kaoru sobbed his name in abject confusion and hopless need as his mouth closed over her naked flesh, and began sucking and nibbling on her pale pink nipples. "OOOOOOOOOO!" Hands that did not know what to do found their way into his thick long red hair and dug in deep holding his amazing mouth against her swollen and throbbing breast.

"Kaoru-aman... Saiai," Battousai released her nipple and returned to her hungry mouth and bent down to consume and ravish it, but found himself being consumed by her tongue wild with a hunger of it's own as it invaded his mouth seeking out the strength of his, and engaged it in a dance of lust and need that left him burning for the release of her body.

Both of their breathing had become short and heavy as the passion and hunger between them grew, and Battousai felt Kaoru lift her long legs and wrap them around his hips locking her ankles behind him. A deep groan of aching need was torn from him and he buried his open mouth against her throat.

"I need to be inside of you, Saiai." He rasped as he pulled back breaking the lock of her legs. "God, I need you, but..."

Kaoru cut him off with a blistering kiss and pulled him back down on top of her hot sweat slick body. "Stop," She breathed heavily against his mouth. "I am not afraid of anything you are going to do to me." Her body was trembling violently beneath him as she parted her legs and let him settle even deeper between her thighs again. "I...I 'need' something too."

Battousai's amber eyes were wide with uncertainty and hopeful desire. "Tell me what you 'need', Saiai? Tell me what you 'want'?"

"I-I don't know. I just 'need' something... I ache, Kenshin. I ache down 'there'. I feel so empty and it aches." She trembled against his chest and her hands were frantic as they fluttered along his shoulders.

He shuddered against her and tentatively pressed his erection against her wettness. She arched into him as a deep throated moan tore itself from her throat.

"This is what you need, Saiai. You need me inside of you as much as I need to be there." He pressed against her again illiciting another moan of growing hunger and primitive need. "But I do not want to hurt you, my love. You are virgin, so I must take care. I must go slowly."

Kaoru arched her wet sex hard up against the swollen hardness of the Battousai's need, and she heard him growl inside his throat as his hands gripped her buttocks in violent hunger.

"I will not hurt you, Aman. Losing your innoncence will be painful enough without losing it to a violent joining. Do not tempt me."

"I do not care. Don't you understand, you BAKA! The pain does not matter anymore! The pain can be no worse than the terrible aching of this awful need! ONEGAI! ONEGAI SAIAI!"

"KUSO!!!" Battousai swore viciously as he lost the grip on his own control. "Aishiteru, Saiai ba-jin aman." He rasped hoarsely. "I love you, my sweet virgin lover. I adore you. Come with me, and I will show you heaven."

Strong hands gripped Kaoru's firm buttocks and lifted her hips high off the futon and tilted them at an upward angle towards his back. She could feel something hard and rounded pushing against the wettness of her, but it was not able to gain any entrance until one of his hands released her and went to guide it in.

Then suddenly she was filled with the full length of him, and there was an instant of blinding white pain that was over so quickly Kaoru hardly noticed it at all. All she could really feel was the magnificent sensation of having the Battousai's hardness filling her empty void and giving her at least some amount of release from the endless insanity of the terrible aching need within her.

"OOOOOOOO! Keeennnsshhhin!" The sobbing cry of pleasure filled Battousai's soul with the purest joy, and he could sense the wettness of tears on his face as all of the barriers around his warriors heart shattered in the heat of Kaoru's flaming desire for him. It did not matter any more if he appeared cold and aloof or fierce and wild, all that mattered was Kaoru and how high up into the peaks of pleasure he could take her. She was the center of his world, and everything he did, he did for her to show her how much his need, lust, and love for her consumed his every thought, motion, and effort. He could feel uncontrolled spasms of desire quaking through her thighs, and her hips were shifting and seeking beneath his without knowing what they were looking for.

Spreading her legs wide, Battousai planted his knees firmly into the futon and braced himself with his elbows on either side of her, and then he began a slow but steady thrusting rhythm in and out of the wet heat of her body. He was watching her flushed face intently, and so when her eyes flew open in shock and wonder at the incredible feelings he was generating inside the deepest part of her body and soul, he was there to meet those brilliant smokey blue sapphires with his own burning golden gaze.

Kaoru met the wildly passionate amber-gold eyes of her Battousai-aikouka and listened the short rasping gasps of her own breathing as he rhythmically thrust against her in an intoxicating dance of love and lust. It was the most extraordiary sensation and feeling she had ever known, and as instinct started to take rule of her mind, she planted her feet flatly on the futon and pushed her hips upward to meet him mid downstroke. They both gasped in unison as the depth and force of his penetration was more than doubled by this action, and in response, Battousai shifted his weight changing the angle of his entry and increased the speed of his motion.

Kaoru's arms were around his shoulders, his waist; her hands gripped his muscular arms, dug into the flesh of his back, gripped the hardened curve of his buttocks, and buried themselves in his thick mane of blazing red hair. She could not seem to find one place that was the best or easiest to hold onto. She wanted to hold onto his whole body at the same time.

As he took them towards climax, Battousai struggled to hold his own release back until he was certain he had pushed Kaoru over the edge. He knew she was close because of the sound of her mewling and sobbing cries, and because of the continued wettness that surrounded his manhood as it slid easily in and out of her sex. Pulling back, he looked at her face, and saw she was in the throws of such a hightened passion that if he did not satisfy her, he knew she would be in agony.

Afraid he would climax before her, he pulled back onto his haunches, lifted her legs up and draped them over his shoulders. He had heard once somewhere that this was a position that gave the woman greater friction and sensation, and would assure a mind-blowing climax for her. Once he had her positioned the way he wanted with her ankles around his neck, Battousai gripped one of her knees in each hand, and began to pound into her with a bone jarring force.

Kaoru arched her neck and screamed a high thin stangled sound, and her hands gripped the covering on the futon so fiercely, one of them caused a small rip to appear in the cover. Feelings of exsquisite pleasure and pain filled her lower body until she thought she might lose consciousness if something did not happen soon. What that something was, she did not know, but it only took a few intense moments for her to find out. Suddenly her body was both comsumed and released with an explosion of intense pleasure-pressure and consciousness altering sensations that had no name, and she found herself tightening all of her muscles and fighting against them until the world around her ceased to exist, and all she could see were brillant starbursts and the perfect midnight blue sky.

As Battousai pushed his lover over the edge of sexual fulfillment, he watched her shudder and spasm through a violent climax beneath him. Satisfied that he had taken care of his lovers need, he finally gave into his own screaming desires and let the raging spasms of climax rush though his body as he released his heat deep within her exhausted body.

In the wake of such an intense and violent joining, both lovers were pulled into the void of sleep almost immediately. Kenshin callapsed at Kaoru's side, and rested his sweat dampened forehead against the curve of her neck and shoulder. One arm draped itself lovingly across her stomach, and his knee remained resting possessively between hers.

"Aishiteru, Saiai-Kaoru. Aishiteru, my beautiful angel."

"Aishiteru, Saiai-Kenshin. Aishiteru, Saiai-Battousai. Thank-you for showing me Heaven, my beautiful ruroni aman." Tender lips brushed the damp skin of his forehead. "Aishiteru, itsumademo Kenshin." I love you forever.

Kaoru's arms wrapped tenderly around her ruroni lover, and she rested her cheek against the softness of his heavy mane of hair. A smile of deep happiness curled her swollen lips and a feeling of pure contentment filled her heart and soul. 'He is mine at last.' She breathed to herself in the most silent reaches of her heart. 'And I will never let him go. I never will.' Kaoru pressed another soft kiss against his silky hair and let out a long sigh. 'You belong to me my ruroni, my Battousai, my Himura Kenshin, and I belong to you. I hope that is what you want because that is how it is going to be from now on. Get used to it.'

'It has always been what I haved wanted, my beautiful angel.' His mind whispered back. 'You are mine in body and soul, and I will never give you up. You are my life, and I will be with you always.'

"Aishiteru, Kenshin."

"Aishiteru, Kaoru."

I know its finished, but I still like reviews. :)
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End of A Weary Day--Formating Revised 12/21