Innocence Lost

Author\'s Notes: First WK fic… Not to mention my first lemon! Yay! I got inspired with Gluhen-Ken. Darker than in the first season… This takes place sometime between the end of the first season and before Gluhen.
Dedicated to my twisted, twisted friends (you know who you are) who dares me to write a lemon!
… This is what happens when you have both Maths and Chem midterms on the same day… You manage to write something you never thought you\'d write.
Extra notes… This is re-posted as I made a very embarrassing mistake. Needless to say… I am never searching for words in the computer\'s thesaurus ever again! Big thanks to Xellas for poiting it out to me… =) *is still blushing* (It was supposed to be lips btw… Meh…)

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Ken turned the hot water taps on full blast, only mixing it with a bit of cold water. Still scalding hot water drenched his back.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the crimson mix with the translucent liquid, swirling, swirling, before disappearing down the drain.

He sighed and got to his old routine. Shampoo hair vigorously. Wash face carefully. Scrub body. Repeat process until skin begins to tingle and is looking an angry shade of red. Then get out of the shower. Get dressed. Put bloody clothes into basket for Omi to deal with in the morning.

He hated himself.

Since when did he stop feeling guilty? Since when did he get used to killing? When did the guilt, regret go?

Most times he still laughed, and he was in a way still naïve, but even the girls at the shop noticed he had grown somewhat darker. As if shadows constantly hovered around him. Hell, he was giving Aya a run for his money in the brooding department.

He wanted to go back.

He wanted to remember the feeling of innocence.

He wanted the water to burn his present self and ugly memories.

He wanted the water to purify him. And he wanted to remember.

Pleasant days in the sun. Sweat smelling days. Laughter and innocence filled days. Way back when he was \'alive\'.

\"Oy! You finished yet? I need the bathroom!\" came Yohji\'s shout followed by sharp knocks on the door.

\"Aa… Hai! Just need to get my clothes on.\" Ken scrambled around the room, putting on fresh clothes.

\"Sorry I took…\" Ken never finished his sentence as Yohji bolted past him. He looked to the door confusedly when he heard Omi\'s laughter.

\"He ate something… wrong.\" Was all the kid managed to cryptically say before laughing once more. Ken forced himself to laugh and walked with easy footsteps to his room, while inside emotional baggage continued to pile up. The thoughts he had in the shower earlier giving him a mild headache.

He opened his door, noticing that his bedside lamp was the only thing on. Someone already got there before him. He barely managed to step into the room when strong arms crushed his against the wall and soft lips meet his. Long finger entwined itself on his still wet hair, pulling his head back roughly, deepening the onslaught.

He pushed against the intruder with everything he had. Forcing the other body to land on the bed with a thud.

Ken growled before pouncing on the sprawled body.

A fight for dominance began.

He managed to thoroughly kiss the lithe body underneath him and manage to stay on top before tumbling on his side. He suddenly found that he was looking up to cloudy violet eyes. There was a ripping noise and he felt his shirt buttons hit his face.

\"Damn it Ran. That\'s the fifth shirt you ruined.\" He scowled at the older boy who began to rake his fingers on his still sensitive skin. Ken hissed and arched his back as the hands found his nipples.

\"Sue me.\" Ran snarled next to his ears. He bit the skin on Ken\'s neck none to gently and sucked on it, making sure he left a wide mark.

That was all he managed to do before he found himself pinned on the bed and his turtleneck sweater being roughly pulled over his head. He tried to move his arms to resume the fight once more when he found he couldn\'t move them. Ken had tangled the sweater into a knot and tied the arms to the head of the western styled bed.

He swooped down once more to claim those willing lips, pushing them open forcefully, even though they opened for him. He needed this. Tonight, he needed this. To loose all restraints. Tongue met tongue in a fierce dance.

He moved his hands down, pinching and pulling the soft skin all the way. They had done this enough times before that Ken could still have control over his movements instead of fumbling with Ran\'s jeans\' button and zipper.

Ran noticed that his partner was somewhat impatient tonight. Usually the fight would have lasted longer and the younger boy was usually content with being fucked instead of fucking. His thoughts stopped there as he felt warm breath on his erection.

Everything he felt that week built up on that moment for Ken. He unleashed all his frustrations on hism mam mate making him grunt, half in pleasure and half in pain as Ken raked his teeth on the sensitive skin. One hand massaged while the other prepared the taller man for something else altogether.

Ran growled while Ken bit the head before swirling his tongue over it. He inhaled sharply as Ken nearly took the whole of his length. Smells invaded his nose. Vanilla soap, and something musky which was Ken\'s own unique aroma. Not to mention the smell of sweat and sex.

With the assault on both his ass and penis, it didn\'t take too long for the normally controlled man to shudder in release. Ken aggressiveness and fast pace had him tingling all over.

Ken moved up and straddled him, leaning down to bruise the already swollen lips all over again. He thrust his tongue in and assaulted the willing mouth, he couldn\'t get enough of the warmth in the red head\'s mouth. Gentle was not the word for tonight. The brown haired boy bit down on Ranlowelower lips. Enjoying the moan that he managed to wrestle out. He was not a vocal person in the day, and he was no different in bed.

Erections rubbed against each other, the friction causing warmth to pool on Ken\'s groin even more. He was even more aroused than he was before.

He reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer on it roughly, pulling the whole thing loose from it\'s frame. He turned the whole thing upside down, where did he put that small bottle of massage oil? It finally tumbled to the floor amidst letters and notes he hadn\'t had the time to throw away yet.

He poured liberal amounts on his hands, hissing slightly as he applied it on himself. He prodded Ran with his fingers, not wanting to hurt his friend even in his frenzy to get release.

Closed eyes greeted Ken\'s line of vision, an expression of pure pleasure was on the other\'s face. Half lidded eyes filled with lust urged him to move.

He didn\'t need any other encouragements, he guided himself to the tight hole and eased himself in. He waited a momemoments before moving up and down in a slow rhythm, letting Ran get used to the feeling. It didn\'t take long before the slimmer man began to buck against him.

He obliged the silent request and started to quicken the pace. Mindlessly moving, letting instinct and want… need take over his whole body. Forgetting everything else for one moment. Loosing himself in the simple primal dance.

He found lips again, opened eagerly, drawing his tongue in. Twisting and turning. The lips was now thoroughly bruised. He let his hands roam over the lightly muscled stomach, feeling the muscles ripple underneath him with each movement. He moved them up again, finding dusky coloured areolas standing to attention, he pulled at them, rolling the tip in between his fingers.

He lost all track of time, it could have been hours, onutenutes or mere seconds before he finally burst, spilling everything he had into the pliant body beneath him. He shuddered once, then twice before pulling out of Ran and collapsing next to him. Both were panting with the exhaustion of tonight\'s mission and the sex they just had.

\"Oy.\" Was all Ran needed to say. Ken reached up over his head and untied the knot, somewhere at the back of his mind he laughed. That was the third sweatshirt of Ran\'s he ruined. Stretched beyond belief, misshapen from the tying and movements. He mentally shrugged, he still owed Ran two more sweats before they were even.

\"I… Aya…\" He never finished his sentence as a hand clamped his mouth shut.

The red head shrugged, he moved around the room and collected his clothes, putting them on one by one. He walked out of the room as if nothing more than a conversation took place.

Ken was once again left in solitude, he turned on his sides and frowned tiredly. What just happened with Aya?

He was always Aya other than when he was in bed. The older man had told him once that he\'d better call him Ran or he\'d stranglle Ken. He told him that he used his sister\'s name so that she could live not get mindlessly fucked… or in most cases do the fucking.

He couldn\'t remember when or why it started. He remembered he was fighting with Aya. Then before they knew it, the struggle moved to the single bed. They awkwardly fought for control in the single bed, managing to somehow stay in the narrow space. Then… Then it became a routine.

Something they did when negative emotions started to overwhelm. When grief and regret over the life they chose haunted them. When they saw the pale ghosts of past victims wail silently, pleading for lives already lost.

Tonight… Tonight was different. He had seen Aya\'s face earlier that day and foreseen what would have happened tonight, but then he had to deliver flowers to a neighbourhood not to awayaway from where he supposedly \'died\'.

Everything hit him at once. Anger and pain, tinged with sorrow and long lost happy memories with a certain footballer he once called a friend.

When he got home Manx was already there, ready to brief them on their latest mission. It had been a simple search and destroy mission. They did it with enough time for him to catch the live football match he had been waiting for.

He was disgusted with himself. He had just the blood of another on his clothes! Seeping inside, smearing his once clean skin. And he was glad they finished early… Because he could watch a football match!?

His rush to the bathroom as soon as they arrived home alerted the others to something being wrong and they let him be. And then… There was Ran… Aya. Who surrendered the fight because he was the loathing in usually warm chocolate eyes.

Now he hated himself even more.

When had their relationship turned so… ugly? Barely friends and then they use each other for physical relieve?

He hated himself.

He hated his job.

Most of all he hated the blood.

When did he get so screwed?

~End

Can this be considered PWP??? Not really pleased with the results… Whaddayathunk?
The title doesn\'t fit, does it? Cookies to anyone who can suggest a better one! *huggles*