Revelations and Medications - Part I
Revelations and Medications
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Disclaimer: Like
everyone else here I have no other claim to Dee, Ryo, Bikky or any of the other
characters in the “FAKE” manga series than that of
any other fangirl.
All of the above belong to Manga-ka
publishing license holders in
the
and elsewhere.
belongs to everyone, though especially to those pretty little boys we so like
reading and writing about.
Please R&R – constructive opines more than welcome
Oh – and bonus points to anyone who guesses what philosophical
work I have Ryo paraphrasing towards the end of the chapter
Revelations and Medications – Part I –
About
Chapter 1 – Rough Night
Some
sweet lemon.
Ryo wasn’t sure what had woken him up, a sound or movement
maybe. But that didn’t make sense.
little and not so little sounds added up to a constant roar, even in the middle
of the night on a residential street. As
for a movement, well he and Dee had spent almost every night in one or the
other’s bed for the past three months, so by now Ryo no longer woke up every
time Dee rolled over or got up to pee.
But then what could have woken him?
mystery anymore and opened his protesting eyes.
Dee’s head wasn’t on his own pillow or Ryo’s for that matter, and yet
Ryo could tell
the tilt of the mattress.
Ryo lifted his head up to look around and found
bed.
back was towards Ryo, his shoulders were hunched and shaking and he was holding
his head in his hands.
was making the soft yet very distinct sound, the sound that had managed to drag
Ryo awake, the rhythmic hiccupping sounds, of someone trying to cry without
being overheard.
Ryo fought off his first impulse to rush to his lover and
wrap
of him whatever was upsetting him.
Instead, Ryo sat up slowly and waited for Dee’s posture to indicate that
the little throw that was still partially on the foot of the bed, placing it
around
one hand on
patting.
Dee didn’t get upset often; in the years that Ryo had known
him leading up to their relationship it had happened only once or twice in
Ryo’s presence, those times dealing with really difficult cases like when
Mother was hurt. Usually
smoldering building with a silly smirk on his face.
was really upset at a perp, he would beat the living
shit out of the guy and then have a nice relaxing smoke while the ambulance
carted the asshole away and Ryo started making excuses and silencing any
witnesses.
But now this was the fifth time that
had gotten upset in the middle of the night since they had become a couple just
over four months ago.
Every time Ryo saw
this it tore him up inside. Ryo’s
instinct was to fuss and mother anyone in discomfort.
trying to get him to ‘talk about it’ was one of two things: either
shut down it was frightening and eerie.
All emotion would leave his face and the door in the back of his eyes
would slam down. Those eyes Ryo had
finally let himself be swallowed up into would suddenly become cold unseeing
marbles.
body, his face, his eyes, his conversation could stay stiff for days.
But the yelling was worse.
In his heightened emotional state
would pick a fight with Ryo to hide whatever it was that he was upset
about. But because Ryo was such an
understanding and patient person, the only way he could really deflect
attention would be to get personal and nasty.
It usually started by
‘pampered’, ‘spoiled’, and ‘clueless’.
It would only end once
far, either accusing Ryo of being a bad cop or an ineffectual father to Bikky.
bawling all night while
to unsay everything he had said.
So Ryo called on all of his patience and just waited for
moved it slowly but constantly so
know he was still there and still paying attention to him.
Eventually
became calmer and his shoulders stopped shaking.
when
blanket and waved Ryo forward. Once Ryo
had scooted up next to him, Dee took the blanket and wrapped it around both of
them before wrapping his arms around Ryo and resting his head on Ryo’s shoulder.
Ryo held and cradled the man who had become the center of
his life. This man in his arms had
pushed, prodded and pulled Ryo out of a closet he hadn’t even known he had been
in; or at least, Ryo amended to himself, a prison he had not allowed himself to
be aware of consciously.
turned it right side up. Thinking of all
he owed Dee and how much he loved him, Ryo couldn’t help himself from
murmuring, “I do wish you could tell me what has been getting you so upset,
Love.”
hadn’t expected an answer. He could tell
from Dee’s continued ease in his arms that
hadn’t shut down and that was good enough.
Ryo had said what he needed to say and
had heard it without over reacting and that was real progress.
when
most of what was said. “What was that,
sweetheart?” Ryo tried to keep the excitement of finally getting an answer out
of his voice, “Sorry, Love, I couldn’t catch all of that.
slightly so he wasn’t trying to speak into Ryo’s neck.
Ryo struggled with the urge to either laugh or scream.
tighter and said, very quietly, “I really doubt that, Love.”
Now
arms and started to try to pull away.
“Are you saying,”
strident voice, “that there is nothing I could do or could have done to make
you hate me?”
Ryo refused to give up his hold on his lover.
time before and he was unwilling to give up that ground.
knew he had to be completely honest with
in return and that had never been easy for Ryo.
Ryo took a deep breath and said, “of course there is.”
Ryo’s arms, taken aback by Ryo’s admission.
Ryo continued to hold
on. “Of course there are things you
could do if you really wanted me to hate you.
You could hurt me or Bikky or Carol.
You could turn into a serial rapist or murderer.
face. You could sleep with JJ.”
on Ryo’s shoulder. Ryo pulled back a
little so he could take
beautiful face, in his hands. “But I
know you have never and could never do most of those things.”
smart ass remark to Ryo’s argument, something to move the conversation back
into his comfort zone. But suddenly all
the fight seemed to go out of him and he ended up just looking sadder then
before.
lifted a hand to cover one of Ryo’s that was still on his cheeks.
took Ryo’s hand and brought it down to hold it in both of his own.
as much.”
squeezed Ryo’s hand to keep him from interrupting, “I am afraid that you won’t
like me as much when you learn some of the things I did in the past.”
Ryo couldn’t say anything to this.
timeline. That which he did know was so
dark and scary and depressing, especially compared to Ryo’s own childhood, that
Ryo usually didn’t know how to talk to or ask
about it. Besides the gruesome death of
his parents that marked the end of Ryo’s childhood everything up until that
point had been comparatively idyllic.
The razzing at school and his parents’ frequent business trips leaving
him home alone for months with only a live-in housekeeper were nothing next to
the horrors of growing up without family or comfort in a city battle zone.
or even Bikky’s past Ryo usually felt out of his depth and ill-equipped.
After a long pause all Ryo had to go to was the blunt truth
again. “I really don’t think so,
sweetheart.” Ryo squeezed
his bits. That has to include all the
dark things in your childhood that turned you into this man.”
“But, you don’t know,”
started to say.
“No, I don’t,” Ryo interrupted.
louder. Ryo took a deep breath so that
he wouldn’t be the one to turn this into an argument.
tell me when you are ready.”
Tears started in
again. “You’re too good for me,”
arms. “You’re too good for someone like
me.”
Ryo held
pulling him closer and into his lap.
“No, sweetheart, that’s not true.
And I know this,” Ryo held
up against his chest, the larger man’s head tucked under Ryo’s chin.
strong and loving and passionate and positive and funny and wonderful;
wonderful, wonderful, and more wonderful.”
Ryo’s praise caused
tears to fall faster and hard, running down Ryo’s chest.
him very slightly, like a mother would; every once in awhile Ryo would murmur
“wonderful” into
Eventually
slowed again.
started to play with the tear tracks on Ryo’s chest, seemingly reluctant to
break the embrace. Ryo just continued to
hold Dee, resting his head on top of Dee’s and rubbing
back.
The tears had dried and been absorbed into Ryo’s skin and
Ryo was he still didn’t miss the slight change when
stroking seemed to get more deliberate.
The once random patterns were turning into lazy loops that were coming
closer and closer to some of the more sensitive parts of Ryo’s front.
The first reaction of Ryo’s brain was that he should gently
break this off and tuck the two of them back into bed.
his gut first, just as
taught him to do in the past couple of years.
Ryo’s gut thought that some physical expression of love right now was a
very good idea. Having sex wouldn’t
cheapen
confirm and celebrate the new level of intimacy they had achieved.
nipple, Ryo stroked his right hand down from Dee’s back to
ass to continue its caresses in a more suggestive way.
Given the go ahead,
dropped all pretenses and started to suck one of Ryo’s nipples while playing
the other.
other hand worked its way behind Ryo and started to rub the small of Ryo’s back,
applying a good deal of pressure.
Keeping the same amount of pressure,
started to move his caresses down the last few of Ryo’s vertebrae and down into
his cleft.
The small, very small part of Ryo’s brain that was still
capable of logic started to form a plan.
As soon as Ryo could force himself to, he used both of his hands to
remove
of
As things started to heat up in earnest, Dee tried to flip
them over to their usual positions but Ryo resisted without moving his lips
from
that went across
tense up underneath him and Ryo knew what that look looked like anyways.
ear, Ryo said, “Shush, Love, I’m not changing anything.”
then scooted down until Dee’s excited
cock started to nestle itself into Ryo’s cheeks.
immediately relaxed. “See, Love,” Ryo
said, “I just thought you must be worn out and that I should do more of the
work this time around.” What Ryo did
miss by returning his attention to Dee’s collarbone was that
look of relief was heavily weighted with guilt.
Dee’s face was back to being simply a little sadder version of his ‘I’m
getting lucky’ face when Ryo sat up to help Dee pull the pillows down under his
head.
“You’re going to need to help me, though,” Ryo said as
back onto his knees and gave
shallow kisses. “We’ve only done it this
way a couple of times and I am afraid,” Ryo gave
one of his sheepish grins, “that I can’t always pay such good attention once
you’ve got my engine going.”
this confession. “That’s okay,
Lover. And I can never think straight
when I am with you. But, sweetheart, I
think I should warn you I might get a little…”
Ryo looked closely into Dee’s eyes when he failed to
complete his sentence and saw immediately what it was
was having trouble saying. Those
fantastic green eyes were getting watery again.
“It’s all good, Love, all good.
This isn’t supposed to erase or ignore what you were feeling
before.” Ryo gave
a long deep kiss. “Let out any emotions
you’re having. This is just to temper
your grief with some joy. It’s all the
same, it’s all good.”
for a second or two; he couldn’t always follow Ryo’s deeper thoughts and
sometimes got frustrated when Ryo insisted on using his larger vocabulary.
so much. I bet that’s what got you in
trouble in the first place,” Ryo said as he started to sit up.
“Yeah,”
hand to Ryo’s hip and the other to hold his dick at the right angle to enter
Ryo the easiest, “thinking always gets me in trouble.”
Ryo’s glib “uh huh” of agreement quickly turned into a sigh of
contentment as he lowered himself onto
earlier after a couple of rounds meant that they hadn’t had to interrupt the
flow to get Ryo’s body ready for it.
Until a few months ago Ryo couldn’t stand going to bed without feeling
‘clean’; at this particular moment Ryo was really, really glad that he had so
easily trained himself to fall asleep while certain parts of his body felt the
‘dirtiest’ they had ever been.
prodded a little to suggest that
himself down again. Doing this two or
three more times however caused Ryo’s legs to start to shake a little.
said, “let gravity do half the work for you and …*moan* …going faster might be
easier.” Ryo followed
advice and found it was less strain to sit up quickly and then just drop.
matched his new pace by thrusting his hips and giving Ryo a little boost back
up.
Ryo found the experience different now that he was the one
exerting more energy and responsible for the pace.
like this,
exertion picking Ryo up with his arms.
Now Ryo had to pay attention and not totally lose himself in the
sensations. It didn’t take away from the
pleasure but it made Ryo look at it and work for it harder.
giving himself much more leverage for his thrusts.
protest; Ryo really wanted
relax. But before Ryo could form a
sentence
spot. Ryo unconsciously picked up
speed. Vaguely, Ryo remembered he was
going to protest something but for the life of him he couldn’t imagine what in
the world he could have to protest against at the moment.
Looking down towards Dee’s face, Ryo was about to make some
observation until he saw that
screwed shut and tears were flowing down the side of his face.
were flowing
mouth was open in the wide silent scream that always announced his coming
orgasm.
It was the sexiest thing that Ryo had ever seen.
was shattered and his usually stoic face was a storm of different emotions
battling and complementing each other.
Ryo just whispered, “cum for me, sweetheart, let it out, let it all go.”
With a strangled cry
did just that, managing only two more thrusts before he was spent.
brought his hands up to his face and cried.
Ryo un-impaled himself and nudged Dee’s legs straight before
stretching his whole body on top of
again. Ryo pushed his arms under Dee’s
shoulders and hugged
Ryo planted little kisses on the back of Dee’s wrists, hands, and fingers where
they were still held over
Ryo went to roll off of Dee, but
brought down one arm to keep Ryo where he was.
“Can you, would you,”
started, “could we just stay like this?”
“Of course, Love,” Ryo said settling himself down
again. “Feels good sometimes, doesn’t
it? Having a lover’s weight on you
afterwards?”
nodded. When Ryo shivered a little from
the cold air hitting his sweaty back
reached over and grabbed the far corners of the comforter and pulled it over
them. Ryo snuggled down so his head was
resting on Dee’s shoulder and pulled his arms out from under Dee’s back and
cradled them around
stay here forever.”
It was a toss up who fell asleep first.
End Chapter 1