Getting Past the Moment

BY : albatross6
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 966
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

*~ Disclaimer ~* I do not own any of the characters, language, plots, or locations from Death Note. Some company holds all rights to Death Note and this story is only created for pleasure, not profit.

Author’s Note: For me, Death Note ended at Episode 25. Poor L. You only hurt the one you love; he and Raito belong together.

Getting Past the Moment

The rain hissed against the windows. Raito walked slowly, face cold and emotionless on the outside, but his thoughts streamed through his mind without pause. His plan had all come together just as he thought it would. Now that Misa was in danger, it was only a matter of time before Rem killed Ryuzaki. Rem cared too much for Misa to die, especially with her shortened lifespan. Really, how foolish. To allow oneself to have emotions for someone, knowing that it will only kill you in the end. Luckily, Rem’s feelings would work to his benefit. Yes, everything was working out perfectly.

Raito stepped outside onto the roof to get a little fresh air. After all, he rarely left the building anymore. Even with the rain… a little open air would be nice. He kept walking, more comfortable moving than standing still in the cold wind. He looked over and saw Ryuzaki standing in the open. Surprised, Raito only looked at him a moment. It wasn’t so strange that Ryuzaki would stand in the rain, but he hadn’t thought that L would step away from the computer now that Kira had begun killing once more.

Raito called out to him, but of course Ryuzaki only pretended not to hear him. Exasperated, Raito walked into the rain to talk to him. And of course, Ryuzaki wasn’t doing anything. As he talked, Raito thought over all of Ryuzaki’s strange quirks. Funny, now that he knew of L’s impending death, so many memories were moving through his mind. He remembered all of the long nights that he and Ryuzaki sat before the computers, searching for clues to find Kira. He remembered first meeting Ryuuga at school, and their tennis match. Raito had won then too, just as he was winning now.

He inwardly frowned as he told Ryuzaki that he would never lie to cause harm to another person for his own sake. His work as Kira… it was all for Justice. Judgement would be held for those who were guilty, for those who tried to escape their crimes. And each and every night, Ryuzaki had worked for Justice as well. No… Ryuzaki was wrong, he was misguided… he just couldn’t see what Raito was trying to do…

And he was going to die for it.

They turned to go inside. Ryuzaki gestured Raito ahead of him and Raito moved down the hall to the nearest restroom. They walked together silently, the rain providing an almost soothing backdrop for them. It could almost suggest that they could get along together… had they not been working to kill each other. Raito stepped into the washroom and grabbed a couple of towels. Handing one to Ryuzaki, he turned away to go sit on the steps and dry off. Damn Ryuzaki. Now his skin was chilled.

He rubbed his head slowly, trying to avoid the static. A god should not have to deal with such things. Yet there was so much that he had dealt with in his efforts to create a better world. The handcuffs, his imprisonment… well, the imprisonment hadn’t been as much of a trial until he discarded the Death Note. Even with his memories back, it was as though he could still feel the shock and pain of his sequester. The Raito that he was then… could not wrap around the idea that he was Kira, that he could have killed so many people. Raito wondered at his own actions. At the time, even though his intellect had prodded him to consider that he was Kira, his entire body seemed to reject it. It was disturbing…

L came up to him, apologizing. Raito agreed completely. Ryuzaki tended not to think of other’s comfort very much. L certainly hadn’t thought of his comfort at all when they were chained together. Raito remembered how awkward it had been to go to the bathroom, to shower, to go to bed together. Even without memories of being Kira, Raito had never had to live in such close company before and it was very uncomfortable to try to sleep with another person’s face so close to his own. He could remember nights when Ryuzaki’s dark eyes had pierced his own, even after he had closed them.

Raito was jarred out of his thoughts when Ryuzaki picked up his foot and peeled off his sopping socks. L was going to massage his feet? Wary, Raito could only tell him to do what he wanted. He couldn’t risk that this was some sort of test. Besides, this was what he had imagined, as strange as it felt. L at his feet, acknowledging Kira as stronger than him, as the true meaning of Justice. He jerked uncomfortably when Ryuzaki pressed hard into his foot. So it wasn’t exactly what he had thought it would be, but Ryuzaki’s actions still felt surreal to him. The massage was forceful and skilled but Ryuzaki kept feigning remorse and his tone was almost submissive. It was entirely unlike him and it unsettled Raito. For all that he had said about not being able to make sense of Ryuzaki, he still had some idea of where the detective was coming from. Now, for the first time, Raito had no idea what L meant with this gesture.

“It will be lonely.”

Lonely? Raito stared at Ryuzaki. As alone as L was, as distant as he was from other people mentally and physically, Raito could not imagine Ryuzaki as lonely. Raito had never felt lonely, even as separated from the moral human world in his position as Kira; so how could L be lonely, when he was so much like…


He felt a few drops fall onto his ankle. Raito reached forward with his towel and dabbed at Ryuzaki’s hair. Ryuzaki really was soaked to the bone. At the moment, even with the rivalry still strung between them, Raito could only think of their situation as a background. Right now, he dried the strands of dark hair that fell over Ryuzaki’s face.

The phone ring shot through the silence and Raito followed Ryuzaki with his eyes as the detective rose and spoke to the other person. Lonely; L would not have to be lonely, Raito recalled. Soon, he would be dead. Then there would be nothing to stand in his way. Kira would create the perfect world and be revered as a God. He would rule them, nobody could match up to him… nobody. With L gone, nothing could equal him; nothing could challenge him.

Ryuzaki told Raito to come with him. It seemed that he had a plan, even going so far as to think it could almost be over. And it would be, for him. Following L, Raito tried to picture his death. Raito could see the effects of a heart attack clinically affecting him, but somehow the image didn’t feel real. Instead, Raito found himself remembering their tennis match again, and their fight during the time they were handcuffed together. It was always hard, it seemed, to think of someone strong succumbing to a heart attack. And for all of the sugar Ryuzaki consumed, the detective was certainly strong.

They entered the main room and L took his place in front of the computer screen. He always took center command, Raito thought wryly. It wouldn’t last though. Raito had had to follow him too, up until now. Following Ryuzaki through the building, cuffed. Following him in every news break. Following him in all of his investigation decisions. Raito remembered when L had tugged him along when he didn’t agree with his methods. L had dragged him up the stairs and convinced Misa to help with the investigation, forcing him to go along with the plan. Yet, after everything, after the removal of the handcuffs, after the return of his memories… Raito had still followed Ryuzaki into the rain.

It seemed that L was planning to test the Death Note. This would confirm the rules and push the investigation through towards its final steps. It wouldn’t be long now, before Rem would be forced to kill L. His rival would be gone. The lights suddenly went out and only the red backup lights lit the room. The data had all been deleted. Raito saw L seize up and begin to tilt out of his chair.

Ryuzaki was dying. Was falling out of his chair. Raito watched it all through each and every long second. With the moment finally here, Raito could not focus clearly on it. He recalled Ryuzaki calling him his first friend; he recalled their heated fight; he recalled their battle of wits; he recalled Ryuzaki’s dark eyes following him into sleep; he recalled Ryuzaki’s hands on his feet; he recalled Ryuzaki’s words: “It will be lonely…”

Raito’s body moved to catch him before he could think it through. His hands clasped Ryuzaki’s chest to his. It was as though he could feel the life slipping away in his hands. Looking down at Ryuzaki, at the challenging eyes that had held his for so long, the last shred of his innocence flared to life.

This was wrong! No matter their vows of justice, their promises to kill each other; Ryuzaki was his friend, was his equal! Without Ryuzaki, he would have no one! His father, his sister, Misa, Ryuk… nothing else challenged him, nothing else met his level. Ryuzaki wouldn’t be the lonely one… not him. Cradling the detective, Raito felt the life retreating from the one person, the only one, that he had ever actually been close to. His match, his equal… and he killed him.

Yes, Raito had killed him. Rem had fulfilled the plan that he had come up with; Raito had caused the death of his only friend. The strength of the moment was fading, the sharp, red light overpowering the last of Raito’s doe-eyed denial. This was his doing… and he would acknowledge it; he would take up the responsibility for it. His enemy, L, was dead. Yes, this was Justice. There was nowhere else to go, but to fulfill his purpose. There was nothing left, not after Raito had lost what he had not even understood he had. Kira’s hard gaze settled over him and he felt the triumphant grin stretch over his lips. The last of Raito’s humanity had gone; from the near resurrection in his empty jail cell to the taking of L’s life.

Kira screamed, and the echoes of Raito’s last sorrow fell away with it.

Kira, the God of Justice, had taken the World.


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