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Bury it Deeper	By : ReidMorgan Category: Death Note > General Views: 1724 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Bury it Deeper
- 1
Please consider this fic AU. I tried to write something fluffy and
this is as close as I can come to fluff. ;-; This fic is basically
about the power and manipulation of dreams. Oh and everyone is
totally ooc because yeah…

Bury it Deeper

I'm not me when I dream, there's someone else in me that I
fear, cause of you. I'm not me when I dream; I'm not me when I dream,
anymore. Because of you… now I'm falling, deeper into you.
-TRUSTCompany

He tells himself that L is an intricate blueprint hidden beneath
strange eyes and soft skin. His fingers follow veins like maps only
to collide with strong bone and hard muscle. Exits are often
disguised by rough lips and tongue his fingers become lost, and
everything crumbles, enclosing him. He almost forgets how to breathe.
When he doesn’t he inhales deeply as those strange eyes fall
open and stare at him.

-o-

Kira dreams he’s strapped to a cold steel table weak and
barely alive. There is a glass wall between him and everyone he wants
to kill; L’s pounding on it hard enough to split the skin on
his fists. It almost looks as if the detective is yelling for help.
Shadowing the detective is a ghostly figure one of it’s hands
falls to the bare skin of his neck and L suddenly goes stiff then
limp, his body looking like braided veins as his eyes roll back in
his head and Kira wakes up. Sitting upright in his bed he stares at
the wall and says, “Fuck.” then massages his scalp. He
wasn’t one to trust his dreams even with his god-like power.
After several minutes of staring at the wall across from him he
sighed, leaning back, his head hitting the soft pillow, his eyes
closing. This time he dreams of L sucking his tongue into his mouth,
pushing his pants over his hips, nails scraping along his thigh as he
trailed teasing bite marks on Kira’s skin. He wakes up sweaty
and in need of something he can’t reach. Biting his lips as he
thinks of owning L, every bit and piece of him, he imagines carving
his name on L’s neck and before the thought blossoms he comes
right in his pants. “Fuck.” He sometimes wishes he could
erase L from his mind or better from this life.

-o-

Everything he tries fails, breaking L is too anemic a plan and the
detective defies any efforts to be smothered physically or mentally.
Who he is and what he thinks his purpose is, is motive enough to push
L on to breathe day in and day out. Kira laughs obnoxiously at this
because L is certain his purpose is to prove him as Kira, 100 percent and
then execute him for his ‘crimes‘. It’s a pretty
sad plan and if L thought soft kisses were to be the death of him the
detective should be on the road to reexamine his investigative
skills. At first the thought of L wanting to catch him and erase
Kira’s existence like he never mattered makes him impossibly
furious. He wants to break his fists on L’s pretty teeth, he
wants to smear them with blood, and make the detective feel what he
is feeling. Instead of the blind fury he wants to unleash on L’s
face he finds himself calmly standing in front of the man’s
hotel room with a smile attached to his face. He rings the bell, his
fingers curled tight, knuckles bleeding alabaster as he waits for L
to answer. When he does the slender man doesn’t look shocked or
surprised, only indifferent and… turned on…?
“Yagami-kun,” he says and leans on the open door, “
What more can you do to me that you haven’t already?”
There was so much more he could do, so much he hadn’t done
already. He pushed past the man blocking his entrance shoving his way
into the dully lit room.

“What is it,” Kira says as he hears L creep up behind
him close enough his chest is almost touching his back. “You
think I am trying to do?” L’s fingers were trailing
slowly down Kira’s spine. L wanted Kira and here he was
standing in the middle of the room with his back to the detective,
practically handing himself over on a platter like some sweet
confectionary item of L‘s. Would L try to kill him now? Stab
him in the back? He would if he was anything like Kira, but this man
was nothing like him. He wasn’t even capable of being that way.

“…I don’t know.”

-o-

He realizes now, L’s power, the thing that sets his blood on
fire is being victorious. His body breathes it. The detective is
closing the door behind Kira and trying to back him into it. The
amused psycho backs up, not out of fear but curiosity and L's fingers
are climbing the door frame behind him, his hands ending up on either
side of Kira’s head as he whispers broken words at him.
He wants to wrap his hand around the detectives neck, leave bruises,
but he can’t as he’s crippled with his own weakness, a
strange feeling crawling up his spine and L’s face is brushing
against his own. “I hate you.” L breathes into the
corner of his smirking mouth. The pale detective hates him and
expresses this emotion easily with the soft licks of his tongue. If
that was hate Light would like to see how painful his love would be.

-o-

There are times he wonders why he puts up with any of this. Kira
tells himself he doesn’t care and he doesn’t but
there’s an annoying little tug inside of him. This disease
named Light who asks questions Kira doesn’t care to think about
or answer, and he can’t seem to shut Light up. He feels like it
shouldn’t bother him but it does. Light was a migraine,
unkindly massaging his temples. Sure he’d taken up permanent
residence inside Light’s body, but Light had known he asked for
it, allowed it, so it got pretty damned annoying when he started to
feel emotions he knew were not his. It was also pretty obvious to
Light that the God in him loved L, despite the detective’s
callous words and even more callous kisses. Somewhere inside of him
he felt the determined tick of a man who believed he could break down
L’s walls. As L stares, or more accurately leers endlessly at
him, an unrequited darkness reflects back that Kira can’t place
but he has the strangest feeling Light can. Those eyes contribute to
his downfall as curiosity gets the better of him.

-o-

The scuffled sound of his shoes scraped sharply across the shiny
surface of the kitchen floor. His hands were flat against L’s
chest pushing the smaller man to the wall with a grunt. Words failed
them both as they met with lips and tongue. L seemed to be everywhere
all at once, strong hands crowded his hair, smothered his hips, and
were scratching painful circles along his spine. The detective’s
eyes said I hate you Kira while his tongue spoke of something
else. That was how it was between them for months. Kira hunting for
the key to unlock L, hungry with lust for the detective‘s true
name and, L’s endless eyes dusted with anger yet their bodies
clashed together, limbs tangling with mixed emotions on a messy bed.

-o-

Darkness welcomed him with its usual annoyed sigh while entering
L’s hotel room. Every light could be on, the building on fire
but the minute Kira stepped into L’s world there was a coldness
that snuffed everything out and burned him. “You came back.”
L said appearing from around a corner. He often threw that phrase at
him and he thought maybe L was expecting something more, possibly
something less.

“I’ll always come back.” He countered
truthfully. The other man seemed to ignore this response as he picked
up a mug and drank from it, sipping slowly. He tipped the cup in
Kira’s direction and the psycho God grinned with a raised
eyebrow.

“You will, and why is that?” He asked stepping closer
to the killer. “You think I like this?”

He smiled for a long time. “You’re not talking about
the tea are you?”

The other only grit his teeth in a way that looked painful and
spoke loud and slow as if Kira was a different kind of mental. “Nonot
the tea, this.” His arms waved around the room and that action
didn’t exactly make things any more clear. “Do you think
I like us?” Oh L. You love this and did Kira care either
way? When he thought about it, that question peeled at his mental
layers, begging to be answered with loveless fists and cutting
kisses.

“I like this.”

“Yagami-kun, always so selfish.” It was like the
spinning tires of a crashed car against his skin, peeling and
burning. He contemplated how difficult it would be to rip L’s
larynx out and keep him alive. “Do you think that you own me?”
It was like a broken record, did L forget who started this? Kira’s
lips tightened and he lowered his gaze watching L’s hands play
with the rim of his mug.

“L.” his hand cupped the hardened face in front of
him. “Don’t be-” The slighter man slapped his hand
away from his face.

“You can not love, this is not about love, not for you. It’s
about control.”

Kira was grinning crookedly, half of his teeth showing through a
barely open mouth. “Love?” He brushed his lips
against L’s keeping them there as he breathed out. “Is
that what you want?” He knew the other man wouldn’t
answer, at least not with the truth. He cradled the back of L’s
head, twining his fingers around the dark spikes that hung there.
“You want my love?” Sharp teeth claimed L’s
lip biting down hard enough to break the skin. Kira’s tongue
slid smoothly over the bloody broken surface. He was shoved away
again as L licked his own lips and glared at him.

“ I don’t want anything from you.” If that
wasn’t the biggest lie he’d heard all year he wasn’t
sure what was. “I won’t be your victim. I’m not one
of the criminals in the streets awaiting their name to be written.
Your book won’t tame me.” Kira smirked and couldn’t
help but feel as if he were being played somehow, almost like he was
missing the painfully obvious.

“You have such an overactive imagination.” Would it be
too much to reach out, stroke him, attempt to tame him? If
there was a game being played Kira planned on winning missing the
obvious or not.

-o-

The time came to admit he was addicted to L; the man was
exceptional, different than anyone he’d ever known. He wanted
to believe enough time had passed, that the urge L had to prove him
as Kira had faded away with each lustful touch. He wanted to believe
that, but didn’t and deep down he knew Light didn’t
either. The thought disturbed him. The truth of it was the closer he
got to L the more he felt he was being buried alive. The more the
detective begged for his love, the more he saw L didn’t
love him in return, and it was sick. Kira was drawn to it, fascinated
to see the vast changes in L, the coldness that consumed him and he
wanted the reason to be because of him. Light was drawn because of
his need to be able to pick it apart and understand it and Kira
wasn’t sure who Light was picking apart anymore.

-o-

L would lay half on him looking almost happy, almost human, but L
was bad at putting on masks and Kira saw through it most of the time,
the times when he actually cared or pretended to care. While lying on
top of him the detective would bite softly at his neck, nibbling
questions into his skin, his bones. “How many will continue
to die for your cause? Don’t you think enough have suffered?
Why haven’t you killed me? Is it possible for you to love, is
that why I remain alive? I don’t hate you anymore, I just want
to catch you.” The last one was never a question and he
would alwayslook into Kira’s deceptive eyes as if to
force the truthfulness of this statement into his mind. Kira didn’t
believe it for one second, he didn’t believe a lot of things,
yet his fingers always got lost in the blueprint of L’s skin,
never retreating but always going deeper.

-o-

Sex with L was much like a world imploding. Stupidly magical,
bizarrely unique, and filled with complexities Kira did not want to
explore. He reveled in the moments when he entered L and they were
finally one, that tight heat encompassing him forcing him to drive
deeper with every thrust. He loved the way L made him work, made him
sweat, salty rivulets would drip from his face onto L’s pale
skin and disappear in his hair. Those pale hands would claw at his
shoulders, his head would flip from side to side, breathy moans
leaving those flawless lips as the man beneath him thrust back with
impressive force. The detective never said his name, he never
said Light’s, it seemed to be some forbidden rule of his as
their eyes would meet but L would seem to look through him, searching
hopelessly for someone else. Someone without a vengeful God trapped
within him.

-o-

Sometimes when he went inside L’s drab hotel room he would
be researching and the detective would look up and actually smile at
Kira, smile like he was glad the killer was there. Kira, like the
hopeless romantic he wasn’t would smile back. He wanted
to slam his head into a wall sometimes. Lately the detective had been
quite busy compiling evidence proving him as Kira because his
previous work had been destroyed by none other than him in one of his
angry rampages. “I discovered something interesting.” L
said and patted the couch cushion next to him. Light made no move to
sit next to the detective just stood where he was and watched him
type quickly. “I trust you.” L said.

“You shouldn’t.” and he walked over sitting
across from him.

“I know.” He closed the laptop and shoved some of the
papers that were strewn across the table into a messy pile. “But
I do.” He shrugged like it wasn’t that big of a deal,
like Kira wouldn’t continue killing wrong-doers and people who
got in his way.

“What is it that you trust me to do?” L only smiled at
this question and looked down at Kira’s hands.

“I trust Yagami-kun to let me do my job.” He reached
across the coffee table and pulled at Kira’s arms until their
lips met and all the while his blood heated to get his hands on that
new evidence that was inches beneath them.

-o-

“L!” He closed the door behind him and shrugged off
his heavy coat. “I got you something.” As he stepped into
the living room his eyes fell to the floor to the spot where the weak
gagging breaths were barely registering in his ears. The cake he got
L didn’t matter anymore as it fell smashing into the floor. L
was lying face down on the living room rug barely breathing, his
fingers loosely gripping a post-it note and his cell phone one digit
away from dialing Kira’s number. He almost stopped
existing. L could’ve dialed anyone’s number, he could
have called the other detectives but he was going to call Kira. Why?
Did the detective try to kill himself? L should know damn well if he
wanted to die it would be on Kira’s terms not his own. Taking
L’s life was Kira’s right and his right alone. How
selfish of L, how stupid. He scooted closer scooping him into his
arms. “What did you do!?” He screamed but there was no
response, no fight, and no fire. “What did you do?”
Light whispered brokenly glossy eyes momentarily resting on the
post-it which had the words video footage Raye Penber
scribbled loudly at the top, the rest he couldn’t read. He
stuffed the paper in his pocket rushing out of the door L in his arms
all the while Light chastising him for not acquiring an ability to
fix situations like this. It was unlike L to be that selfish to want
to take his own life.

-o-

A week passed as quickly as he could blink and Kira had nothing to
do but blink and well obsess over L. It was fucking stupid that it
took him that long to realize L would never take his own life. All
the clues led him to the same scenario starting with the post-it
note. If L knew about Raye Penber or had the video footage and was
able to in some way see that he was the man in that hooded
sweatshirt, that he was the killer that was all the evidence L
needed. If someone like… say… his death god found out
about that the end results might possibly prove fatal. Though he
didn’t see Ryuk as one to take his own life for Kira’s
but he must’ve attempted to. It made sense because he hadn’t
seen Ryuk all day. He thought he had this under control and he had
specifically told Ryuk to keep his hands off of L. Really his mind
hungered to kill the shinigami and avenge L. But if he were to take
these things as facts, Ryuk was already dead. All in all Kira was not
altogether displeased with the current outcome.

-o-

The Doctor tapped his chart a few times before scribbling
something down. “Mr. Yagami,” Kira only nodded, his eyes
were glued to L’s still form. He swept his tongue over already
moist lips and sighed. “Have you been home at all this week?”
Dr. Flores wrote something else on his clipboard then looked at Kira
with concern. “You should go home, get some rest. Ryuzaki-”

“No.”

“Would you like for the nurses to bring a bed-”

“NO…no. I’m not tired.” His hand brushed
L’s and he frowned. “How is he?” Kira knew the
answer he’d asked the question a hundred times now but the
Light inside couldn’t resist the urge to ask once more. Maybe
things had changed from the last time the doctor was in. Or maybe it
was him who changed, who weakened, he was sitting here faithfully by
L’s side…

“Well, he’s suffered from a heart attack and survived.
He’s currently comatose.” Dr. Flores answered with an
almost shrug. “His brain was without oxygen for far too long.
Ryuzaki may never wake up. If he does it’s possible he won’t
be the same person you knew him as. There was massive damage-”

“He was a detective. A great detective” Kira didn’t
know what he was saying or how to prevent himself from saying it. He
felt like he was talking about the hopeless or the dead and not L. He
feltlike he wasn’t talking at all more like his mouth
was attached to strings and the words spilled out not his anymore
just a shell of someone who used to be Kira, used to be a psycho-

“I’m afraid that won’t be an option for him.”

“You don’t know L.” Kira eyed the good doctor’s
name one more time. Joseph Flores. Dr. Flores had just earned
a spot in his death note.

-o-

He won’t be the same person you knew him as…
Kira refused to believe that, he couldn’t imagine L any other
way but determined, childish, and stubborn with victory written in
his eyes. Like a grenade thrown carelessly there was that sick part
of him exploding in his mind wanting things a sociopath shouldn’t
want. It was Light’s fault, if only he could silence him once
and for all he wouldn’t be in this damned room. He wouldn’t
be in the damn place, he was wasting his time here, his life, but L
was almost like a part of him… almost like the fucking disease
he called Light he couldn’t escape it, not even if he wanted
to. Do you want to?asked the Light inside of him.

-o-

The crossword he’d been working on looked lonely and out of
place on the overly neat nightstand. Long fingers snatched the paper
up but instead of reading the clues he started to draw a squiggly
line around the side of it. A picture of a chair formed, then a lunch
cart, a shadowy figure haunting a corner, and a hospital bed with a
bloody L in it, and he was no longer controlling his fingers, the pen
dangled from them like a weak magnet. Rapid movements began creating
what looked more like an angry mess than a picture.

He was dressed like the night all shadows and gangly lines,
imitating a ninja, soft cloth covering all but his eyes. L raised his
arm, sewed all his fingers but one into a fist and pointed it at
Kira. He smirked. It wasn’t like his Birthday or Christmas, no
in his dreams he got all the presents he asked for and more. “Don’t
take it…” whispered a voice in his ear. A voice he
chose not to hear. What he wanted, he took. He answered to no one. L
started shouting as if forewarning something and Kira stepped closer
to him as the death note appeared in his hands and he started writing
what appeared to be L’s name. That was his prize, his present,
it was better than an expensive watch, though not as flashy, eagerly
he licked his lips. L was struggling against thin air, his hands
climbing, scratching at Kira’s chest, and Kira only laughed.
L’s fingers surprisingly reached his face touching it and he
faulted for a moment, something sharp and conflagrant sliced through
him, up his spine and burning his skin, stealing more than just
oxygen. His arm fell, his hand clattering atop L’s. L never let
go of his face. The detective’s body was shaking… no
shriveling. “Conduit...” whispered someone.

Chestnut eyes quickly opened and blinked bringing the dark ruby
color back. Shaking his head Kira stared at the morbid comic he‘d
drawn. It was all sharp contours, destructive choleric lines
infecting dull gray paper. Hard eyes studied every stray dash of
black pen, every seemingly useless curve, and the long squiggly line
that connected to something…someone? What did it mean? How
could he have drawn this? Was he going to find out L’s true
name and kill him? He studied it for so long he didn’t want to
look at it any more and put it face down on the table, blaming Light
for drawing the morbid illustration.

-o-

He needed to breathe, to kill, anything but sit here and stare at
L like a lovesick teenager. If only he could bring himself to leave
for five minutes. Five minutes would buy him enough time to serve
mass amounts of justice. In fact there was a serial rapist he had in
mind. He’d read about it in one of L’s files that was
conveniently splattered across his coffee table one night. Sometimes
he wondered if L purposely left these things out for him. Did the
mild-mannered detective like when he killed people? His death note
was at home, less than a few minutes away from the hospital; he’d
even have time to grab a coffee on the way back. The caffeine would
do his body good, he was running on vapours. He wiped a hand over his
face letting it fall to the crisp white sheets below. He slid his
fingers across the stiff surface slowly following the outline of the
body that was tucked tightly beneath. The room smelled clean, looked
untouched. It was impressive to say the least and if he hadn‘t
been here every second of every day that unwell weak part of him
might‘ve gotten angry thinking no one was taking good care of
his detective. The tidy room spoke volumes and it was a little
too loud for Kira. The nurses adored his detective and they
constantly tried to find things to busy themselves with in this room.
Which proved to Kira, what he never doubted, how amazing L was, how
special. It helped him justify his stupid need to be here. He gazed
at L’s face, drank it in, thirsty as a man with a throat of
sand. That man would memorize the taste of water, how it felt the
first time it ran down his dry throat and he would memorize the
planes of a perfect face that devoured his hungry eyes.

He was really tired though, he actually felt kind of dead.
His eyelids were heavy and he had these enticing flashes of someone
in all black, standing in the shadows. In the far corner of the
chill hospital room stood a being with a dark wiry smile and even
darker eyes, his coat of wings billowing behind him like some sort of
beacon beckoning him to follow. “Take this…” The
shadow whispered. That man was someone who mirrored Kira’s
style, but it was not him. The sight was so jarring it caused his
eyes to open. He wasn’t sure he wanted to close them again or
meet whatever that was, because he had a feeling he knew what
who it was. With Ryuk dead that left him with only one other option.
With a heavy hand over his face he wiped away the remnants of his
dream as a nurse walked in, smiled weakly and started removing
something from around L‘s arm. “You look tired.”
She said while taping a new IV to L’s thin wrist and suddenly
he was angry, jealous, didn’t want anyone touching his
property. “He’s going to be just fine.” She smiled
again. He was on the verge of gagging or better yet killing,
he thought with a grin.

“I know.” He took L’s hand in his as if claiming
something no one else could touch, or reach.

“Oh. Well you come here everyday I just thought…”

“Maybe you think too much.” He offered a way for her
to shut-up and she did, looking annoyed as she threw away the old IV
needle. He didn’t watch her walk out but felt the shift in her
movements, heard her footsteps receding farther away from him and L.
Kira scooted closer to the man in the bed he looked so lifeless, so
unlike the fiery detective he knew so well. The seemingly taller man
leaned his forehead against L’s and willed him to wake-up, to
move, to do anything.

“L.” Leaning back closing one of hands around L’s
wrists he resisted the urge to pull him up drag him around like a rag
doll or a puppet on strings. He held the appendage loosely between
his fingers, to his lips and kissed the warm skin softly.

“Uh- um… visiting hours will be ending in ten minutes
Mr. Yagami.” A different voice, different nurse told him from
the entrance of the door. He didn’t look up or acknowledge her
as he spoke.

“Can you tell me where Dr. Flores is?” He asked
briefly wondering how she knew his name but wasn’t too
concerned as it couldn’t have been that hard to figure it out.

“Dr. Flores?”

Kira grit perfect teeth in aggravation, jaw clenching when he
finally turned to her. She was remarkably beautiful with blond hair
and two skinny pig tails on either side of her head. She wore bright
red lipstick on her lips and dark eyeliner on her eyes and he
wondered if he should take this woman seriously as a nurse. “Yes,
I need- wait.” The young nurse looked timid, shifting on her
feet as Light eyed her. Her gloved hands wiped at an already neatly
pressed shirt. He smiled, she was that nurse, the one he‘d
overheard talking the other day about how grateful she as to Kira.
Candidly, she told another co-worker how she would pay homage in her
own way and she deftly whispered by killing the ones who wronged her
and Kira. He wondered how she planned on pulling any of that off and
he found it didn‘t really matter. If she was that avid a
follower of Kira she must have had some strange means of killing,
possibly a death note. He wondered if she had used it yet but the way
her gloved hands moved across her clothes told him yes. “I’m
sorry, what was your name?” She was staring at the floor now
and this behavior was unacceptable to Kira. She was a follower of
Kira, she should be bold in her words and actions, she should have
more confidence than this. He was disgusted with her already.

“I- I’m Valentine Pogue.” He just stared,
searching her eyes for something. “… Dr. Flores is
usually in his office at this time. I can page him if you like.”
Kira stood and she took a step back the action made him grin, this
was getting a little interesting. Did she know he was
Kira, is that why she was here?

“No thanks. I’d rather talk to you.” She looked
shocked and he ignored it. “Do you know anything about the
status of this man?” He gestured to L with his head.

“I’m kind of new.” Valentine Pogue was
fidgeting again and the movement drove Kira insane he wanted to snap
her neck, make it stop. “I mean to say I am new.”
Kind of, am, wasn’t it all the same? Kira shrugged as she
continued right on fumbling through her sentence. “I uh- I
think it would be best if you um spoke to his doctor.”

“Yes, I think I will.” He turned away most likely
confusing her with his sudden disinterest. He waited until he heard
her footsteps retreat before he spoke again. “Oh, Miss Pogue?”
There was no answer for several moments and Kira would have turned
but he heard her eerily steady breaths behind him.

“Yes?”

“You’re name is not Valentine Pogue is it?”

Her eyes widened in an emotion similar to fear and she shook her
head. “My name? In this world no one needs a name.”
She said and walked off. Kira raised an eyebrow at this, it seemed
such a change from her shy reserved persona, not that it mattered.
She was unworthy of whatever it was she was hiding and if it was
another death note, he wanted it.

-o-

He leaned back in the uncomfortable hospital recliner and fought a
losing battle with his eyelids. When everything was lighter, softer,
nicer he knew he was dreaming.

“I find lucid dreams highly intriguing, a dream that you are
able to change with the power of your own awareness.” The
detective combed fingers through dark locks as he glared at the
newspaper that was hiding Kira’s face.

“Maybe, but I find any dream annoying especially the ones
where I wake up wishing for more or disappointed.” L nodded at
the newspaper. “Those ‘dreams’ were called
my life.” The paper was folded carefully in half and Kira’s
face was revealed as he tossed it to the coffee table, he smiled a
smile much like Light would; honest, humble, and open. “Good
thing I woke up.”

“Good for whom? Surely not-” L suddenly aborted his
sentence as Kira snorted at the mumbled response as L stood to his
feet one hand seemingly glued to his head. “I’m being
serious.”

Kira narrowed his eyes standing also. “So am I. Do you think
you are dreaming now?”

He shrugged momentarily questioning it. “Hmm, I could be.
Dreams are often manifestations of your subconscious trying to-”
His words cut short as he glanced around the room as if looking for
someone or something. Dig Deeper. There was that disembodied
voice again, the one Kira chose to ignore earlier. He ignored it this
time too.

“Mmm. If you are… dreaming? What then?” His
hands ghosted over L’s shoulders and arms as if drawing an
outline of him.

“I’d want to wake up.”

“Why?”

“It wouldn’t be real, that’s why.”

The killer turned his back to L. “But you wouldn‘t
know it‘s not real.”

L’s face scrunched up like an unbelieving child with an
arsenal of responses on his tongue. “It doesn’t make any
sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Any of this.”

“Why?”

“Because-”

“Then why don‘t you wake up?”

“Take this. It is the only way.” Kira put a
hand to his ear and tried to rub that third unwanted voice out of his
head. “It’s what you do.”

“…” L opened his mouth then quickly shut it as
he stared at his feet. “You are a murderer, yet you are my only
friend.”

He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes to the side as if
he’d heard it all before. “We are so much more than
friends L, that word could never explain what we are or what we have
together. Besides, it has to be real if you’re so upset. Dreams
are happy things.”

“This may be a nightmare.” Everything seemed to be in
its rightful place but it was a little off, cloudy and distant some
how. “Why do I have to do this?”

“Do what?” Dig Deeper. Kira closed his eyes
wishing the voice that seemed to only be in his head away. Get out
he pleaded. Without warning L started scraping the walls with
blunt fingernails.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kira moved to grab him
but L shoved him off.

“There is something here, something I-” He was pulling
at the wallpaper now ripping it off in shreds. Kira watched it fall
like the bloody ribbons of his victims lives and he found comfort in
that, perverse delight. There was something scribbled messily
underneath. L’s fingertips brushed along one of them written in
blood red, looking ferocious. “Do you really want this?”
He turned and asked Kira. Kira was looking at him like he lost his
mind.

“Do I want what?”

L motioned to the word that was scribbled on the wall behind him.
“Forgiveness?”

“Light does.” Not deep enough.

“Then, you must not take this.” He held a box out in
front of Kira and opened it.

“There’s nothing in it.”

“On the contrary, inside is something powerful enough to
kill you, me, or whoever it touches.” He closed the box and put
it on the table nearest him. “You can not take that.”
Light was staring at the box. “Promise me.”

“There is nothing in there.” He insisted.

“Promise me!”

“Fine! I promise.” He reached out pulling the pale man
to him and touched his face the detective’s eyes rolled back in
fluttered motions. “Wait! Wha-what’s going on?” He
shook the man in his arms as L slowly bled of all color turning gray
and Kira tried to let him go but his hand refused it was frozen to
his face. Too Deep.

“Please L, I promise.” He choked on his words
as his fingers finally let L’s lifeless body fall to the floor.
In the corner leaning on the bookcase stood a being with a dark
wiry smile and even darker eyes, his coat of wings billowing behind
him like some sort of beacon beckoning him to follow. “If
you want to save him, take it.” Spoke the faceless shadow.

“Who are you?”

The creature scoffed as Kira seethed teetering between rage and
sorrow. “WHO ARE YOU!?” He screamed trying to push the
shadow back with his tyrannous anger. The thing only laughed.

“You are not God here.”

“Shut-up.” Kira advanced on the creature, eyes tired
and narrowed. “Get out of my head!”

“I’m not in your head.” The shadow
surrounded him, and Kira tried to flick on like a lighter willing
some kind of magical power to ignite his hands. His eyes sparked,
barely a flicker and the shadow man backed off as if burned by the
barely there light.

“Get out of his head.” He tried differently the
shadowed figure only laughed louder now, wickedly.

“I’m here to help you.”

Kira‘s eyes slit paper thin. “Liar.”

Suddenly the white box appeared in front of him and the shadow man
opened it. Inside was a piece of paper with what he somehow knew was
L‘s name, though he could not read it. “She will kill
him.”

“Who?”

“Amane, Misa.” He pushed the box into his chest. “Take
it from her.”

-o-

He rubbed his eyes feeling only two steps away from the dream that
was viciously licking his heels. Ten minutes later he found himself
in the hall staring into the endless blackness of his coffee. The
flimsy cup seemed to burn his hands through the thick napkins he had
wrapped around it. This whole situation was fucking with his head
tearing him in half, weakening him. He stopped everything to stand by
L’s side and it made him ill, made him happy, made him want to
down names in his death note. The hospital hallways quickly became
barren and dark after visiting hours. The clicking of his shoes, the
beep and hum of hospital machinery, and hushed nurses were the only
sounds. His hands still tightly wrapped around the smoldering cup of
coffee; he brought it to his lips, savoring the burn, the bitter and
the sweet of it. He pushed open L’s door his eyes immediately
focusing on the bed and the person standing before it. Valentine
Pogue or whom he was sure was Miss Misa Amane, stood at the foot of
L’s bed, her bare hand outstretched above a black death note.
The pen in her fingers dangled moments from paper. “You
shouldn’t be here.”

“Neither should you.” He was behind her in a second
flinging her into the wall with one swift thrust of his arm. “And
you won’t be for much longer.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing.” She
hissed as she sat up against the wall. Kira held her there. “He
is a threat to us. He’ll stop anyone who uses the death
note.” She shook her head despite the powerful hold Kira’s
hand had on her. “His research could eradicate us-”

“You’re pathetic.” Kira breathed easily as he
crushed her back against the wall, her legs dangling off of the
ground. A force that felt almost equal to his own slammed into him
pushing the murderer back.

“And you’re blind.” Misa fell to her feet
standing only breaths away from Kira. “You can’t trust
him.” There was a petite hand with fingers of ice kissing along
the edges of his jaw. Then a blinding flash in front of his eyes and
it felt like they exchanged something, a stream of thoughts and
strength was being pulled from him. He lit up like an explosive with
a short wick and her hand fell from his face. “I know his name
and now so do you…”She was exactly like him. But
he forced that door closed, the one with L’s name in it and he
knew that was Light’s doing, Light fighting against his own
mind.

L’s words rang through his head “Then, you must not
take this.” Oh but he wanted it, he needed this. It was too
enticing, too poetic and tragically perfect for him not to have. All
he had to do was… force that door open. What is his fucking
name!? It was right there, right inside his head but he couldn’t
see it. Suddenly, he found his hands were no longer under his control
as he was strangling Misa with all the power he could muster. Yet he
was doing nothing to stop it. Yes, lay there and die the Light
in him commanded wordlessly with fingers still as rock that cut like
razor sharp stones. Almost immediately he was thrown back by the thin
girl beneath him. He smiled wickedly as he got back to his feet,
noticing her death note was now gone from the spot on the floor.
“That’s real cute.”

“That’s what they all say before they die.”
Those icy hands shot out to write in her note, but Kira pushed her
back with a blow to the face.

“Enough games.” He was choking her with one hand, his
free hand snatching her death note and easily writing her name in it.
She was scratching wildly at his hand. Kira’s eyes shut halfway
as he smiled and waited to feel her life slip away from this world,
the power that came with this was like a drug coursing through his
veins…Promise me… He closed his eyes and shook
his head his hand slipping, the pen slicing across a blank page in
the note. Misa’s screaming face flashed across his field of
vision, he watched with mixed emotions as her head lolled to the side
and he felt disgusted with himself. Fine! I promise. He almost
fell to his knees but did not as he felt something tugging at him and
he turned his head. In the corner… a man with a dark smile
and even darker eyes, his coat now shed of wings billowing behind him
like some sort of beacon beckoned him to follow. There was a
glint of light that caught his eye and he knew the shadowed man was
smiling “Light?” Kira bit his lip still unsure of what he
was seeing as the shadow stepped forward into the dense light. His
coat was like an ocean’s storm whipping harshly around his
ankles capsizing around steady legs. His eyes were less intense than
the coat, almost peaceful and his double smiled back at him. “I
can fix you Kira…” Light spoke softly as he moved easily
and unafraid to his counterpart.

“How are you doing this?” He leaned his face forward
as if he could identify the truth with his lying eyes. “Did
you, was this all you? Was any of it real?”

“You’re broken and I can fix you.” He smiled
again as he brought a hand to Kira’s head his fingers stroking
the sides of his cheek.

“I’m not broken, you are!”

“No, you are and I can see it.” Light moved forward to
place a kiss on Kira’s unresponsive lips. “I can feel
it.”

“You… you betrayed me! You betrayed me for L.”

“How can I betray you? You are me. Don’t you know what
is going on inside your own head?” He laughed, removing Misa‘s
death note from Kira‘s hands.

“How did you manage any of this? I can’t fucking
believe this!” He latched onto Light’s shoulders with
deadly grip as the other man put a finger on Kira’s lips his
mouth so close to Kira’s they were on his own finger. “I
thought you’d like to live in a dream world. A world where you
can truly be God. But you wouldn‘t know it‘s not real.
You said it, not me.” He slowly snaked his other arm around
Kira’s neck, stroking softly at the tense muscle there.

“You both betrayed me, you tricked me… left those
papers about Raye Penber out for me to see. He knew, he knew I was
Kira. He knew 100 percent!”

“You betrayed him, you killed the only family
he‘d ever had, Watari.”

Kira wanted to scream GET OVER IT but his anger seemed far greater
than that sentence could do justice. “So did you.”

“Only part of me, the part that is you.” He smirked
sweetly his hand caressing Kira’s face again.

“You can’t kill me.” His confidence was
enough to slay many but not the one that counted.

“I won’t kill you. I am going to do what you
did to me, bury you alive, trap you here forever.” He pulled
Kira’s face close to his again, noses touching as he scraped
his lips across his cheek to the psycho’s ear his lips pressing
a firm kiss there. “Sweet dreams Kira.” Light rubbed his
hand over Kira’s eyes in such a delicate motion Kira was sure
nothing bad could come of it.

When he finally opened his eyes he had to squint because of the
too bright light but he smiled when he caught sight of L’s dark
eyes staring back at him from his messy hospital bed.

“Hello Light-kun.” He smiled a true smile at hearing
the name he hadn’t heard in months.

End.
- 1
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Bury it Deeper