Sleep

BY : Lux
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 966
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.




Sleep







There were no windows in this
room. No real light, just artificial florescent rays beating down on
him, making his head throb. There was no way to escape the harshness
that shined above him. Running stopped him with a sharp tug on his
wrist and a curious glance from night dark eyes. There were no
windows in this entire place. Had he always been claustrophobic or
did this place make him that way?







His eyes roamed the room again,
too bored to stay on task, too tired to stare at the screen in front
of him. A space on the wall, not particularly special, caught and
held his gaze. He was envisioning a large picture window there. He
was seeing himself happily jump out of the window to get the hell out
of here. The chain around his wrist clinked as it was shaken to wake
him from his suicidal daydreams.







“Light-kun, are you
alright?” The voice was in his ear, in his very brain it
seemed. It seemed to come to him from all around, bouncing off the
high walls and ricochetting across the room to settle snugly in his
head.







Death was in his thoughts, laced
his reply to his keeper. “I'm fine, Ryuuzaki. Just a little
tired.” He knew there would be no reprieve for him tonight
though. His own words fell on deaf ears and granted him only a
shallow smile of fake concern from the sugar addict next to him.
Sleep was out of the question.







Ryuuzaki kept the smile on his
face as he turned back to his computer screen. “We'll take a
break soon.” Lies. Polite lies that fooled everyone else but
him. Light felt his fingers clench and could not stop the images of
death from flooding his brain. Blood and sugar and if only he could
get his hands on some glass...







“Alright,” his voice
was resigned. Would be as hell bent on killing Ryuuzaki if he wasn't
so damn tired and feeling so crowded? He wondered about his
rationale and the state of mind he was currently in. His eyes
scanned his screen blankly, catching words here and there, articles
and fake leads he had set up himself.







This insane bloodlust was
temporary, right? Caused by malnutrition and other circumstantial
things. Ryuuzaki would probably, in any normal situation, be his
friend. Or at least someone intelligent he could talk to. In the
beginning they had very good conversations that went on into the
night, making him forget about the sleep he so craved now. They
would get drunk off each other, testing and challenging the other's
wit. It was their version of fun. Light thought less about killing
in the beginning. His mind wasn't stained red and he didn't know the
effect that a lack of sleep and vitamin D caused.







Or maybe they would still be
enemies. Not the kind of enemies they were now. Light had accepted
that their relationship was one of begrudging respect and underlaid
with intent to kill only to win, not to see the other die. Light did
not taking losing well. They might hate each other because they were
so different. Light could imagine a world where the Death Note
didn't exist, but he still dreamt of killing this man. Not the world
he wanted to live in, but a good back up on the very off chance that
he did not end up reigning over his own New World.







The hours dragged and Light had
no sense of night and day. He spoke to Ryuuzaki when he felt it was
necessary and grated his teeth in irritation at the slightly
condescending replies he received. A window could serve to throw
someone out of. His mind was still sharp enough to think this as he
was getting the run down on the next day's activities.







“...Then a meeting, I
think. We need to see where we all stand, yes?” The dark
haired male kept speaking. Light noticed he never made hand
gestures. He never blinked. He never gave conversational cues to
let the other speaker join in. Maybe strangling that pale throat
would be a fitting way to go. Speaking is a privilege one should not
take for granted. The silence with Ryuuzaki gone would be like music
to Light's ears. His hand twitched with longing. He could almost
feel the warm skin and gentle pulse under his fingers. He had to
fight the urge to reach across the desk and slip the chain around the
delicate neck that was fully exposed to him as Ryuuzaki searched for
a snack.







Light nodded occasionally and
pretended to be interested. He even had a few bites of sugar cookie,
acting like the good prisoner he was supposed to be. He knew this
whole thing was a farce. Ryuuzaki knew he was Kira. All he was
waiting for was evidence. All Light was waiting for was the right
time to strike. Lies were thrown around like casual conversation and
accepted as truths by the others. The masterminds knew better
though. Chained together, always near the other, they were two parts
of the same whole. Twisted by deadly intentions and cruel
circumstances, Light knew early on that this was as close to love as
he would get.







At night (or whenever it was
that) Light tried to sleep, wished for it, prayed for the ability to
close his eyes and take advantage of the few hours he was being
given. But his mind, and the humming of the laptop next to him would
not allow it. He squeezed the bridge of his nose in annoyance.







“I thought Light-kun was
tired.”







Light growled lowly at the
amusement he heard in the other's voice. Again, his fingers itched
to hit the man.







He glared at the hunched figure
at the other end of the handcuffs. Silhouetted by blue light from
the screen, Ryuuzaki looked like a monster. His hair stood wildly
around his head and his skeletal fingers hovered over the keys as if
they were his prey.







“I am, actually. It would
be helpful if you could shut that computer off. The light bothers
me,” Light tried to sound pleasant, but he knew his request
was whiny and juvenile. He tugged on the chain between them to
punctuate his words.







Ryuuzaki smiled slowly and turned
owl eyes to him. “Kira likes the dark?” He balanced his
index finger on top of the screen and slowly shut it, surprising
Light. As gratitude, Light decided that maybe going into diabetic
shock would be less terrible than being strangled or tossed out a
window. Light could be generous as well. He would even let the Kira
comment slide.







He smiled into the sudden
darkness and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come to him. He
didn't want to waste anymore precious time before he was sure
Ryuuzaki would wake him and set him in front of a computer again.







He ignored the mattress shifting
beside him. They had established that sleeping in the same bed was
more convenient and comfortable. Light's mind supplied him with the
thought that this was what people in love did, wasn't it? And weren't
they in love, in a manner of speaking? Another part of his brain
replied that people in love didn't fantasize about killing their
partner, and weren't usually kept chained unless requested. His eyes
snapped open as images of pale, naked limbs tangled with his own
flashed in his mind's eye. This was not helping him sleep at all.







Ryuuzaki scooted closer to him
and propped himself up on his elbow. Light could feel him staring
and glanced at the dark figure next to him. “What?”







“You are still not asleep,”
Ryuuzaki pointed out. He leaned closer and inspected Light's face
with a curious grin on his face. His hand crept over Light's belly
and tugged his body closer. Another game they played with each
other. How close could they get before one of them snapped (usually
Light) and a fight broke out.







Light sighed irritably. “No,
I am not.” He jabbed his elbow into the soft flesh of
Ryuuzaki's side and smiled smugly at the whoosh of air that it
caused. However, he made no further attempts to loosen the tight
grip on his body. Murderous thoughts were warped into sexual ones as
Ryuuzaki settled down next to him. Maybe death by orgasm? That's a
lovely way to go and it would benefit both of them. Light added it
to his list of possible ways to kill Ryuuzaki.







“Kira-kun, look at what we
have become,” Ryuuzaki's voice was a whisper in his hair. But
at least it was not a lie. His words rang true and needed no
response from Light. He shrugged, knowing what the other meant. He
knew this really was love, this terrible, skewed thing that they had.
Sleep was not an option most nights because of this. Arms wrapped
around each other, clinging desperately to the truths they knew.
Sleep meant trust, and Light knew that this man holding him, chained
to his wrist, this man that inspired such dark thoughts and blazing
rage, was the only person on the planet that he trusted. God needed
no one and sleep meant acknowledging that Light did feel like
he needed Ryuuzaki.







While his mind finally shut off,
and his eyes slid closed, Light did not sleep. He did not dream his
usual dreams of death. Instead, he just listened to the sound of his
breathing matching the rhythm of Ryuuzaki's and thought that this
might be the best way to die; in the arms of this genius detective
who loved him not for the Light that he was for others, but for the
Kira that he knew he was.



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