The L and Raito Mary Sue Rant

BY : Kotetsu_Kaburagi
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 1180
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. And if I did I wouldn't stick myself into it idiots!


This is a rant. This is the anti-mary sue rant in L and Raito's words because I beleive if they ever read any of what you slobbering fangirls are writing about yourselves doing with them they would be disgusted. No one wants to read about the self absorbed egotistical fantasies of a bunch of love-sick fangirls and what they daydream about. Now without further ado....


The L and Raito Rant About Mary Sues


"Hey Ryuzaki come here"

The raven haired detective's gaze shifted to the brunette and he stepped over to gaze at the screen. He frowned at what he saw and gave his companion a strange look.

"Raito-kun what is the meaning of this?"

Raito shook his head and let out a heavy exhasperated sigh, shifting in his seat uncomfortably as his eyes scanned the screen in front of him. The words on the web page clearly did not bode well for either of them. It was a fanfiction about the series they both starred in, but somethign just wasn't right about it. Raito had read many of interesting fan fictions about the two of them. Some of them placing them in compromising positions, and others showing them in love or in some sort of trouble. Raito did not mind these occurences as he had felt some feelings towards the detective, but so far the ones he had read had stuck to the series and been generally enjoyable to read. It gave him a break from having to think about the Kira case. However the newest one he had stumbled across left nothing to be desired. It appeared as though the author of the fiction had decided that their character whitch, to no stretch of the imagination was supposed to resemble themselves, was attempting to gain a relationship with both of them to fulfill her own desires to be the one to be loved by them. It reminded him of Misa and he scowled.

"I don't know Ryuzaki, but it seems that these fangirls are getting a little selfish. I beleive they need to be taught a valuable lesson."

The detective nodded in the affirmative. He too had perused the sections of websites containing fictional works about himself and Raito, and had noticed that more and more of them contained himself and his Kira suspect in romantic positions, but he wasn't sure he liked the idea. He had seen Raito idly giving him looks that more than asked if they could test the theories of these writers, but he had calmly passed it off as foolish and had gone back to his reading. This new development however was quite unsettling. The thought that these women-and some men- beleived that they could post such drivel about the two of them fallign for their character even goign as far as to put a plot around it, was just ludicrous! He would find a way to put a stop to it and kill off the mary sue trend before it had a chance to flourish any further. He turned to Raito and a small smirk played across his features.

"Raito-kun I suggest we write a heated letter to all these Mary sues out there and let them know what we think of their meddling with story continuity. What do you say?"

The brunette smirked in return.

"That sounds great Ryuzaki. Let's do it! "

"For justice!"

"For the sake of anime series everywhere that the mary sues have destroyed!"


The two of them sat down and began to write. Within a couple of hours of debating, and L making frequent trips to the kitchen to reload on sweets, they had finally hashed out a letter they were satisfied with and saved it beginning to send it out to all of the sites they knew of, Light even going as far as to post it on all of the Kira sites in case they lurked there as well. He would not have Mary sues being a part of his followers if he could help it. Finally finished the two sat back to admire their work reading ofer the letter again, it read:

Dear Mary Sues,

I am one Yagami Raito, and with me is the infamous detective L. We are the main characters of the series Death Note. It has come to our attention that there are those of you who have been slandering the good name of this series by posting what have come to be called Mary Sues. We would like to express our displeasure at this, and would like you all to stop. Fanfiction is meant to solely be that. Fictional stories written to give the viewers or readers extensions of stories about the characters or events in the series. The very idea that there are those of you who wish to selfishly promote yourselves by even insinuating that we would want to be with you romantically is just false. Doing so also depletes the quality of the material in the origional series because it seems most of you either wish to play the damsel in distress and make us save you then somehow we're expected to fall for you, or you jump in head first and save the day somehow, and so the content of the story is automatically switched to yourself. This is known as self promotion and it is an egotistical way to get attention whitch is a very degrading way of doing things. We request that all of this self insertion stop immediately and that the content of fanfiction remain strictly canon and to series content. AUs are acceptable as long as no extra characters resembling the real life authour are added, and none of the plot centers around and added OC. We hope that you will understand the severity of what you are doing to the quality of fanfiction and that you will stop this selfish plea for attention. Thank you to all of those who write quality and accurate fanfiction and know that we respect each and every one of you for making the experience of our series and the series of all animes great. Please help us in out fight to stop the Mary sues for good.

Yours sincerely,

Raito Yagami and L


Light laughed to himself and sat back once again watching the monitor. The sweet-addicted detective had since gone back to his own console and was picking away at the slice of cake he had on his plate, absently toying with his fork from time to time. The brunette grinned and suddenly rose from his seat stalking over to the other and plucking the fork from his nimble fingers, spinning the chair around to face him. The raven frowned and quirked an eyebrow not knowing what Raito was up to.

"Raito-kun what are you-"

Onyx eyes shot wide as lips locked onto his, and he drew in a breath sharply hands coming up to fist in the white material of the teen's dress shirt, tugging softly as the kiss was deepened. Before L knew what was happening he'd been hoisted up and deposited on the couch in the control room's living space, Raito climbing over him, hands pushing under his shirt insistently. He arched and for a split second remembered he didn't want this, pale hands coming up to push against Raito's firm chest, but the brunette simply smirked and grabbed the detective's frail wrists pinning them above his head and delving down to the smooth expanse of alabaster skin, and closed his mouth around a soft pink nipple contrasting sharply with the paleness of the rest of his body, and caught it within his teeth eliciting a sharp gasp and an arch from his captive.

"Raito-kun.....please...."

L writhed a shiver running up his spine as his suspect shifted to the other nipple and repeated the action, one strong hand releasing his wrists to delve into his pants and grasp him suddenly. The detective made a choked noise and his hips bucked instictively into to touch causing the teen to smirk.

"You're enjoying this Ryuzaki...perhaps those fan girls had the right idea this is a lot of fun. I've wanted to try some of those techniques they described for quite some time now."

With that the brunette's smirk grew and quicker then lightning he tugged and L's pants and boxers were off exposing him to the air. L's eyes were wide enough it seemed to pop out of his head, and Raito almost laughed at the mental image as he released the detective to shuck off his own clothes tossing them into the pile he'd started, and climbing back over the stunned man
only to grind their hips together earning moan from both. He did it again harder this time and reached down to grip them both thrusting forward and biting his lip in pleasure.

"Mmm yeah this is totally worth it"

Below him L was panting hard pale skin flushed brightly, hips moving with Raito's in tandem, completely losing himself to sensation as rational thinking abandoned him. He almsot whimpered as the brunette paused and released them, fumbling around in the drawer next to the couch, looking for the little bottle of lotion Watari had placed within for the task force's use, having known that shuffling papers all day could dry out one's hands easily. He turned back to the flushed detective and uncapped the lotion before pouring a generous amount into his palm and slicking himself with it, pulling L's legs up and positioning himself. He was about to thrust forward when the detective shreiked indignantly, halting him. He looked down to see annoyed raccoon eyes glaring up at him and blinked.

"What is it Ryuzaki? I thought you wanted this."

The sweet addict blanched.

"Not without preperation Raito! That was a very Kira-like move just now. I thought you knew how to do this you can't just ram in like that, I won't be able to walk for a week. You must use preperation first. Even I knew that part."

Raito rolled his eyes about to smack the insolent detective. Instead he respectfully complied slicking up a few fingers with the lotion and reaching down slowly easing them in one by one and scissoring them back and forth inside L stretching him and listening to the gasping moans issuing from the man below him. After a few minutes he withdrew them and eased forward again repositioning himself at L's entrance and looking down at him for reassurance.

"Is it ok to do it now?"

"Yes Raito-kun I am thouroughly prepared for you now"

The bruntette nodded pushing away his momentary annoyance at the picky detective and rocked his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt in the other man eliciting a sharp gasp from him and a slight wince. Raito flintched a bit wondering if he'd hurt him, till L relaxed around him and nodded softly giving him the ok to continue. He let out the breath he'd been holding and pulled back slowly starting to move against him. Underneath him the detective writhed and moaned pressing his hips up into Raito's thrusts pushing him deeper on each impact, long fingers gripping the cushions under him, and lifting his hips starting to pant harder.

"Uuungh....Raito-kun....it feels...so good..."

Raito smiled and continued to thrust increasing his speed, hands gripping the detective's slim hips and pulling him tightly against him starting to feel closer with each forward plunge, the tight wet heat surrounding him driving him crazy. He threw his head back mouth hanging open and sped up once more starting to pound L into the couch, being rewarded with a surprised yelp from the raven-haired man below him. They continued to match each other's rythms for a time when finally, with a sharp cry Raito jerked against the detective and stiffened releasing deep inside him in several jerking spasms, L finishing a few seconds later. They both collapsed back onto the couch cushions breathign hard and exhausted, clinging to each other. Raito was the first to get his bearings and reached up passing his fingers through raven locks and gazing into L's onyx eyes.

"Mmmm now that's good fanfiction material...."

The detective nodded and actually smiled.

"I agree Raito-kun...and I hope that our next fanfiction encounter is just as wonderful, but now play time is over and we have to get back to the kira case."

Raito groaned.

"Awww do we really have to I was having fun?"

"We have to keep with story continuity Raito-kun but we'll play again next fanfic."

"Alright you win. Oh and listen upfanfiction writers and readers. Mary sues are ruining us anime character's way of life! Stop them before they get out of control! Keep our stories accurate!"

"Raito-kun!"

"Alright alright I'm coming! Bye everyone!"


~End~


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OMG what the hell have I written!? *stares at it unintelligably* Well whatever that was I hope you all enjoyed it. I know I kinda contradicted myself but I was trying to show all those stupid mary sue writers that by doing what they're doing they ruin the accuracy and continuity of stories and that you can still divert from plot while staying within it. Pus the yaoi I added as a treat for all of you. Let me know what you think of this. It's the first time I've tried somehting like this before. Thanks and see you next fic. -L


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